Kelly McCullough's Blog, page 12
February 15, 2015
Being a Writer
Lyda wrote on this topic a few days ago. I wrote my own post for my blog. Here it is:
For most writers, writing is a lot of hard work, often while holding a day job to pay the rent; and the return is dubious. Even most published writers don't make a living. There is always the fear, if you are midlist, that you will become unpublishable. The publishers aren't making enough money from your books. You aren't breaking out. You will never (it seems) become a best seller. The publishers will drop you.
If you are published by independent presses, then it's almost certain that you won't make a living.
I suspect most people go into writing in the hopes of becoming famous and financially comfortable, maybe even a little bit rich. At least doing well enough to quit the day job. So, what do you do when you realize it isn't happening?
I think you think about why you write.
There is love of craft. There is love of telling stories. There is the pleasure of whatever praise you get. Sometimes, you touch people. They write and say your work meant something to them, made them happy, helped them through a rough time.
For me, writing is a way to cope with a world that often seems way too dark. It's full of unmaking -- governments that don't work, infrastructure that is crumbling, wars that destroy nations, neglect that destroys individuals. So I make something. I try to make it funny and hopeful.
In my community, the SFF community, being a writer counts for something, which is another reason to write. You get to be on panels. You get free memberships to cons. People even sometimes ask for autographs.
For most writers, writing is a lot of hard work, often while holding a day job to pay the rent; and the return is dubious. Even most published writers don't make a living. There is always the fear, if you are midlist, that you will become unpublishable. The publishers aren't making enough money from your books. You aren't breaking out. You will never (it seems) become a best seller. The publishers will drop you.
If you are published by independent presses, then it's almost certain that you won't make a living.
I suspect most people go into writing in the hopes of becoming famous and financially comfortable, maybe even a little bit rich. At least doing well enough to quit the day job. So, what do you do when you realize it isn't happening?
I think you think about why you write.
There is love of craft. There is love of telling stories. There is the pleasure of whatever praise you get. Sometimes, you touch people. They write and say your work meant something to them, made them happy, helped them through a rough time.
For me, writing is a way to cope with a world that often seems way too dark. It's full of unmaking -- governments that don't work, infrastructure that is crumbling, wars that destroy nations, neglect that destroys individuals. So I make something. I try to make it funny and hopeful.
In my community, the SFF community, being a writer counts for something, which is another reason to write. You get to be on panels. You get free memberships to cons. People even sometimes ask for autographs.
February 13, 2015
New Cover Art!
I have some VERY AMAZING cover art design to share with you guys for the book that Rachel Calish/Gold and I have written. This is the story that we've been publishing in serial form over at http://entertheunseen (and re-issuing, as it were, on WattPad as well). The cover art was designed by Rachel's friend Kristin Smith, and I really love it! What do you think??
This is, at the moment, a GIANT TEASE because we're still in the production phase. The book, however, will (baring acts of god[s]) be available for purchase at MarCON (March 6 -8). Kristin did an amazing job with the interior as well and there will be illustrations through out from our artists Alexis Cooke and Mandie Brasington. There will be an ebook version, as well, but I have no idea when that will be available. Of course, as soon as it is, I'll link it here. I'm assuming we'll sell the print version via the usual e-bookstores, too. (This is where, once again, I'm SUPER-GRATEFUL not to have to be the only one in charge of dealing with all this, because the dealing with Amazon.com, etc. is never fun.)
In other news, Happy Friday the 13th.
February 11, 2015
When Writing Breaks Us
Last year, my friend and fellow writer, Sean M. Murphy decided he needed to stop calling himself a writer as he posted here. This morning, I woke up and discovered that another dear friend and colleague is considering doing the same.
This is heartbreaking to me.
I want to blame something for this, but there are, frankly, too many options.
It seems to me that it's far harder to break-in to pro markets (magazine and novel) than it was when I first started writing. A lot of people are jumping straight to self-publishing these days, and, while that seems to work well for many, it's no more a guaranteed road to success than any other. Personally, I find trying to motivate myself to write for self-publication much, much harder because of all of the extra work you have to take on yourself in order to get a finalized product out there. This why the first of my self-published books is going to be the collaboration I'm doing with Rachel. (She just went over our proofs, because I have to head off to work in about fifteen minutes! Thank gods for a co-writer!!)
But most of us struggle alone. Even Sean, who was part of a writers' group, was ultimately alone with his own sense of 'being a writer' and all the myriad ways a person can fail at that.
That's the other thing I really want to blame. Because, I think everyone realizes how hard it is to break it (and how hard it to survive once you do,) but I think we all underestimate how easy it is to undermine ourselves. Ultimately, I think Sean hit the nail on the head when he said 'writers' write' and that that should be the defining quality, but that's still a trap. Because how OFTEN does a writer need to write in order to call themselves a writer? Every day? Every week? Once a month? Once a year?
My answer is that I think we ought to expand this definition a little, give ourselves a tiny break. A writer is a writer if they have written, if they want to write, and if they write, but not necessarily all those things all the time, every day. Some days, the best we can manage is that we wanted to write. Sometimes, especially after some hard writing-related news (the publisher doesn't want to renew your contract, say,) it's enough to say, "I have written" while you take time to recuperate.
Of course, it's maybe easy for me to say. I have books on the shelf with my name on them.
But, damn it, my friends, I don't want to lose any more of you. Cut yourselves a break. You are a writer because you WILL write. You're a writer because you HAVE written. You're a writer because you WANT to write. Courage is measured in that voice that says quietly, "I will try again tomorrow."
This is heartbreaking to me.
I want to blame something for this, but there are, frankly, too many options.
It seems to me that it's far harder to break-in to pro markets (magazine and novel) than it was when I first started writing. A lot of people are jumping straight to self-publishing these days, and, while that seems to work well for many, it's no more a guaranteed road to success than any other. Personally, I find trying to motivate myself to write for self-publication much, much harder because of all of the extra work you have to take on yourself in order to get a finalized product out there. This why the first of my self-published books is going to be the collaboration I'm doing with Rachel. (She just went over our proofs, because I have to head off to work in about fifteen minutes! Thank gods for a co-writer!!)
But most of us struggle alone. Even Sean, who was part of a writers' group, was ultimately alone with his own sense of 'being a writer' and all the myriad ways a person can fail at that.
That's the other thing I really want to blame. Because, I think everyone realizes how hard it is to break it (and how hard it to survive once you do,) but I think we all underestimate how easy it is to undermine ourselves. Ultimately, I think Sean hit the nail on the head when he said 'writers' write' and that that should be the defining quality, but that's still a trap. Because how OFTEN does a writer need to write in order to call themselves a writer? Every day? Every week? Once a month? Once a year?
My answer is that I think we ought to expand this definition a little, give ourselves a tiny break. A writer is a writer if they have written, if they want to write, and if they write, but not necessarily all those things all the time, every day. Some days, the best we can manage is that we wanted to write. Sometimes, especially after some hard writing-related news (the publisher doesn't want to renew your contract, say,) it's enough to say, "I have written" while you take time to recuperate.
Of course, it's maybe easy for me to say. I have books on the shelf with my name on them.
But, damn it, my friends, I don't want to lose any more of you. Cut yourselves a break. You are a writer because you WILL write. You're a writer because you HAVE written. You're a writer because you WANT to write. Courage is measured in that voice that says quietly, "I will try again tomorrow."
February 10, 2015
Sometimes I Think Yelling Louder is the Solution (to Everything)
I'm about to say something ridiculously stupid. I'll probably get in trouble for it and you can all feel free to tell me how wrong I am (because I do promise to listen). But, on the other hand, I'm very much NOT one of those writers or bloggers who gets a whole lot of attention anyway.
There's been a lot of talk in my circles lately about how women of a certain age (and SF women writers of a "certain career length") begin to disappear as they age. I'm young yet (at least in my opinion), being several years away from fifty (only three...), but I might fall in to the "certain career length" category, since I was first published at the very beginning of this century.
I'm hearing war stories from my colleagues, women in SF, that are mind-boggling. The kind that make me feel like what I did in 1999 is neigh-on impossible now--that, publishing SF as a woman with a female protagonist, is harder now than it was back then. When I asked why this is, it was explained to me that I was an acceptable token. Token women weren't seen as a threat. Now that nearly 40% of SFWA is female, we're seen as over-running the genre, ruining it, or, as the Lightspeed Magazine campaign snarkily said, "WOMEN DESTROYING SCIENCE FICTION."
I don't doubt this, by the way. Numerous studies have been shown that some men feel outnumbered by women, when the actual percentage of women in the room is only at a third, or even less. It's also very, VERY clear from things like Gamergate and countless others, that sexism is alive and well and very much the blunt weapon of choice of a surprising number of people these days.
That's not really the issue I want to talk about though. I bring it up, only to make sure that what I'm about to say is not conflated with any sense that I might not believe sexism is a real thing. Or that I think because my experiences with it are very different, that I don't believe it happens all the time to people I know and that it is scary and real.
I think, however, when it comes to aging, one must plan to do it graceLESSly.
On Facebook, the other day, author Sharon Lee brought up the idea of the disappearing woman of a certain age with an example of something she saw happening in a restaurant. A woman was ignored by the servers, presumably because she was female and because she was older (also presumably alone or in the company of another woman). A number of people jumped on to the thread and added at if you'e "of a certain size" it can be even worse. People actively don't want to see you. You get hostilely ignored.
Again, I don't doubt this is a real phenomenon. Not at all. But, sometimes I think yelling loudly is the solution.
It's probably far too simplistic. I realize that. But, I'm planning to go out kicking and screaming. I've been ignored by servers. If it's busy I will give people a slight benefit of the doubt and give them a few extra minutes to get to me, but if I'm left hanging too long I start yelling. I starting saying, "Excuse me, I need service." If I can't get people's attention that way, I leave. And I make sure to tell the manager or someone on the way out that I'm leaving because i got ignored.
I feel like that's my personal solution to a lot of problems. I have never had a man talk over me, BECAUSE, IF HE TRIES, I JUST SHOUT LOUDER. Like I said in my post about "fandom being welcoming," I am super-privileged in that I have never, ever doubted my right to an opinion. If someone tells me to my face that I don't have the right because of some chromosomes I have that they don't, I tell them to shut the f*ck up, because they're obviously a moron.
I read somewhere too, that part of women disappearing has to do with the male gaze, i.e. that we "disappear" because MEN no longer see us. I know that can't be all there is to it, because I stopped courting the attention of men in my first year of college. Even then I gave, as the kids would say, very few f*cks about what ANYONE thought of me, male or female.
To be fair, I have somehow, despite this attitude, never been issued a death threat. No one has ever threatened to rape me or harm me because I dared to say my opinion.
And I know this happens to other women.
And I know that being white helps a lot. I also know that being a professional "of a certain career length" actually comes with privileges, too.
So maybe it's more that I just WISHED that shouting helped. And maybe I'm just going to keep shouting for all the people who can't.
You may see me on a lot of panels about this in the future, because Eleanor Arnason and I have decided we're not going to go out quietly. Maybe we will continue to be ignored as we grow older (just as we were when we were young), but at least we will make what noise we can. I refuse to not contribute to the conversation, even if I wasn't invited.
There's been a lot of talk in my circles lately about how women of a certain age (and SF women writers of a "certain career length") begin to disappear as they age. I'm young yet (at least in my opinion), being several years away from fifty (only three...), but I might fall in to the "certain career length" category, since I was first published at the very beginning of this century.
I'm hearing war stories from my colleagues, women in SF, that are mind-boggling. The kind that make me feel like what I did in 1999 is neigh-on impossible now--that, publishing SF as a woman with a female protagonist, is harder now than it was back then. When I asked why this is, it was explained to me that I was an acceptable token. Token women weren't seen as a threat. Now that nearly 40% of SFWA is female, we're seen as over-running the genre, ruining it, or, as the Lightspeed Magazine campaign snarkily said, "WOMEN DESTROYING SCIENCE FICTION."
I don't doubt this, by the way. Numerous studies have been shown that some men feel outnumbered by women, when the actual percentage of women in the room is only at a third, or even less. It's also very, VERY clear from things like Gamergate and countless others, that sexism is alive and well and very much the blunt weapon of choice of a surprising number of people these days.
That's not really the issue I want to talk about though. I bring it up, only to make sure that what I'm about to say is not conflated with any sense that I might not believe sexism is a real thing. Or that I think because my experiences with it are very different, that I don't believe it happens all the time to people I know and that it is scary and real.
I think, however, when it comes to aging, one must plan to do it graceLESSly.
On Facebook, the other day, author Sharon Lee brought up the idea of the disappearing woman of a certain age with an example of something she saw happening in a restaurant. A woman was ignored by the servers, presumably because she was female and because she was older (also presumably alone or in the company of another woman). A number of people jumped on to the thread and added at if you'e "of a certain size" it can be even worse. People actively don't want to see you. You get hostilely ignored.
Again, I don't doubt this is a real phenomenon. Not at all. But, sometimes I think yelling loudly is the solution.
It's probably far too simplistic. I realize that. But, I'm planning to go out kicking and screaming. I've been ignored by servers. If it's busy I will give people a slight benefit of the doubt and give them a few extra minutes to get to me, but if I'm left hanging too long I start yelling. I starting saying, "Excuse me, I need service." If I can't get people's attention that way, I leave. And I make sure to tell the manager or someone on the way out that I'm leaving because i got ignored.
I feel like that's my personal solution to a lot of problems. I have never had a man talk over me, BECAUSE, IF HE TRIES, I JUST SHOUT LOUDER. Like I said in my post about "fandom being welcoming," I am super-privileged in that I have never, ever doubted my right to an opinion. If someone tells me to my face that I don't have the right because of some chromosomes I have that they don't, I tell them to shut the f*ck up, because they're obviously a moron.
I read somewhere too, that part of women disappearing has to do with the male gaze, i.e. that we "disappear" because MEN no longer see us. I know that can't be all there is to it, because I stopped courting the attention of men in my first year of college. Even then I gave, as the kids would say, very few f*cks about what ANYONE thought of me, male or female.
To be fair, I have somehow, despite this attitude, never been issued a death threat. No one has ever threatened to rape me or harm me because I dared to say my opinion.
And I know this happens to other women.
And I know that being white helps a lot. I also know that being a professional "of a certain career length" actually comes with privileges, too.
So maybe it's more that I just WISHED that shouting helped. And maybe I'm just going to keep shouting for all the people who can't.
You may see me on a lot of panels about this in the future, because Eleanor Arnason and I have decided we're not going to go out quietly. Maybe we will continue to be ignored as we grow older (just as we were when we were young), but at least we will make what noise we can. I refuse to not contribute to the conversation, even if I wasn't invited.
February 6, 2015
Fan vs Pro (and other things)
I just spent about a half-hour queueing things up on the School for Wayward Demons Tumblr page. During the process I was chatting with a friend who encouraged me to link to my other Tumblr page (which if you go there RIGHT THIS INSTANT, you'll see I did.) It's a funny thing, my resistance to... invading this sacred fan space I've made for myself with self-promotional things. It's REALLY silly when you consider that I have no qualms about posting links on my fan tumblr space to my reviews of manga or my podcast or my fan fic. She asked me if I was afraid to tarnish my professional reputation with my fan one. My response? No, it's the other way 'round.
I'm really protective of my fan spaces. I don't mind people knowing about them. In fact, I will happily give out my fan name or my AO3 account handle to anyone who asks me at con. I'm very, very proud that at CONvergence last year, in the women's bathroom, I had someone shyly ask if it was true that I was "junko from AO3." It turned out, the woman asking was the person who podfic'd my Bleach/Free! x-over, and, once I confirmed and she told me who she was, we did the dance of squee with each other.
So, it's not like I care if people who are my fan friends find out I write professionally, or vice versa.
I guess it's strange, but I almost feel like self-promoting my original fiction on my fan sites sullies them somehow. I mean, I should get over that, because, as my friend said, "The data stream is so fast. No one will really notice." Which is VERY, very true. I used to worry that if people found out I was a professional writer on my AO3 account that the tenor of the conversation would change. The very last thing I want is for people to stop telling me when I suck because, you know, I guess you know better because you're some kind of pro. Which is, of course, bull.
I sometimes wonder if that's partly why Rachel and I don't get many comments over on entertheunseen.com or why they're not more critical on either of my Wattpad entries. (It could be, too, that both those venues require some kind of log-in.) But, I think, often people are reluctant to tell someone they perceive as a professional that they'd like to see the story go another direction... face-to-face/directly. Obviously, people are happy to say all sorts of things about professional writing on review sites once a book is done and dusted. I mean, I can understand this hesitance. People are afraid of being yelled at. But, I THRIVE on critique. I love it. And fan fiction has been a great place to be treated like a peer by a large number of people again.
At any rate, I suspect I've said all this somewhere before. It's one of my favorite topics to hold forth on. But, so if you want to tell me what-for (and check out some of the new content that's been added) on Wattpad, there is a new installment of School for Wayward Demons up: Gabe Runs (into Darkness.
Also, my review of the latest chapter of Ao no Exorcist (#64) is up on MangaKast.
In other news, I finished reading Memory of Water by Emmi Itaranta. It was the first of the books I've read so far that are on the Philip K. Dick award nomination list that I would call straight-up science fiction. It's also a very... subtle, quiet book, despite having a LOT of tension woven in throughout. I found it very interesting. The story follows a woman who is the tea master's daughter in a future Scandinavia where we've depleted much of the Earth's viable drinking water. There's been a kind of post-oil apocalypse and the 'past world' is shrouded in mystery, mostly understood by the things recovered in the plastic graveyards on the outskirts of town. I would totally recommend the book without any reservations, so long as you weren't expecting a rip, roaring, page-turning thriller. The ending is also very much a downer, and the only sense of hope comes from the prologue and the implication that there might be a second book to continue some of the threads that don't really get answered. But, I didn't mind that, surprisingly.
Now I'm waiting for
Not much else is going on. I finished up the two seasons of Tiger & Bunny that Hulu had, and have, on recommendation, started watching Zenkyou no Terror/Terror in Resonance while I wash the dishes. It's quite a shift in tone, I must say. Zenkyou no Terror follows two very disturbed and unusual young men (who to refer to each other by numbers because they were raised in some kind of horrible orphanage) who are exacting their revenge on society by... well, by being terrorists. So you know, from heroes to villains. It's a bit of whiplash, but I'm enjoying Zenkyou no Terror the same way I enjoyed DeathNote. It's kind of fascinating to go deep into the criminal mind. Like in DeathNote, there's a smart, vaguely outsider to root for on the other side, on the good-guy side. So, I've got that to cling to. I'm very, very worried for the female character in Zenkyou no Terror, but you know... it's early days. I'm only on the fourth or fifth episode so far.
Like much of anime/manga fandom, I'm anxiously waiting for the arrival of this month's Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan. The things I've seen on Tumblr from the raws make me kind of happy (*anxiously grabs abs*)... I'll have a review up as soon as we see in English
I'm really protective of my fan spaces. I don't mind people knowing about them. In fact, I will happily give out my fan name or my AO3 account handle to anyone who asks me at con. I'm very, very proud that at CONvergence last year, in the women's bathroom, I had someone shyly ask if it was true that I was "junko from AO3." It turned out, the woman asking was the person who podfic'd my Bleach/Free! x-over, and, once I confirmed and she told me who she was, we did the dance of squee with each other.
So, it's not like I care if people who are my fan friends find out I write professionally, or vice versa.
I guess it's strange, but I almost feel like self-promoting my original fiction on my fan sites sullies them somehow. I mean, I should get over that, because, as my friend said, "The data stream is so fast. No one will really notice." Which is VERY, very true. I used to worry that if people found out I was a professional writer on my AO3 account that the tenor of the conversation would change. The very last thing I want is for people to stop telling me when I suck because, you know, I guess you know better because you're some kind of pro. Which is, of course, bull.
I sometimes wonder if that's partly why Rachel and I don't get many comments over on entertheunseen.com or why they're not more critical on either of my Wattpad entries. (It could be, too, that both those venues require some kind of log-in.) But, I think, often people are reluctant to tell someone they perceive as a professional that they'd like to see the story go another direction... face-to-face/directly. Obviously, people are happy to say all sorts of things about professional writing on review sites once a book is done and dusted. I mean, I can understand this hesitance. People are afraid of being yelled at. But, I THRIVE on critique. I love it. And fan fiction has been a great place to be treated like a peer by a large number of people again.
At any rate, I suspect I've said all this somewhere before. It's one of my favorite topics to hold forth on. But, so if you want to tell me what-for (and check out some of the new content that's been added) on Wattpad, there is a new installment of School for Wayward Demons up: Gabe Runs (into Darkness.
Also, my review of the latest chapter of Ao no Exorcist (#64) is up on MangaKast.
In other news, I finished reading Memory of Water by Emmi Itaranta. It was the first of the books I've read so far that are on the Philip K. Dick award nomination list that I would call straight-up science fiction. It's also a very... subtle, quiet book, despite having a LOT of tension woven in throughout. I found it very interesting. The story follows a woman who is the tea master's daughter in a future Scandinavia where we've depleted much of the Earth's viable drinking water. There's been a kind of post-oil apocalypse and the 'past world' is shrouded in mystery, mostly understood by the things recovered in the plastic graveyards on the outskirts of town. I would totally recommend the book without any reservations, so long as you weren't expecting a rip, roaring, page-turning thriller. The ending is also very much a downer, and the only sense of hope comes from the prologue and the implication that there might be a second book to continue some of the threads that don't really get answered. But, I didn't mind that, surprisingly.
Now I'm waiting for
Not much else is going on. I finished up the two seasons of Tiger & Bunny that Hulu had, and have, on recommendation, started watching Zenkyou no Terror/Terror in Resonance while I wash the dishes. It's quite a shift in tone, I must say. Zenkyou no Terror follows two very disturbed and unusual young men (who to refer to each other by numbers because they were raised in some kind of horrible orphanage) who are exacting their revenge on society by... well, by being terrorists. So you know, from heroes to villains. It's a bit of whiplash, but I'm enjoying Zenkyou no Terror the same way I enjoyed DeathNote. It's kind of fascinating to go deep into the criminal mind. Like in DeathNote, there's a smart, vaguely outsider to root for on the other side, on the good-guy side. So, I've got that to cling to. I'm very, very worried for the female character in Zenkyou no Terror, but you know... it's early days. I'm only on the fourth or fifth episode so far.
Like much of anime/manga fandom, I'm anxiously waiting for the arrival of this month's Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan. The things I've seen on Tumblr from the raws make me kind of happy (*anxiously grabs abs*)... I'll have a review up as soon as we see in English
February 5, 2015
Dog Whistles, Code, and Insider-sim in Fandom
I was scrolling through my Twitter feed, like you do, and I came across this: "Why 'Fandom is Family' is Problematic". It's a collection or round-up of tweets (probably involving a much larger discussion) about the phrase 'fandom is family' and why we should stop using it. First of all, I've actually never heard this phrase in my long association with SF fandom, and I tend to agree that family is not ALL THAT to everyone and it certainly should not be a phrase used to shelter abusers, etc.
What I'm reacting to is the idea that fandom (and it's not clear which 'fandom' is meant here, but maybe SF con fandom?) is unwelcoming because it has so many in-jokes... or...? I'm not sure, because I think, in point of fact, that the very term "not welcoming" is a dog-whistle for the Tumblr-generation/fans.
I'm not saying they're not right.
When I first entered con fandom, I felt very lost. I didn't know the routine. I didn't know the lingo. I didn't have many friends who went to cons. In point of fact, I dropped out of con fandom until I was a newly energized/hungry writer and saw the advantages of meeting people by being on panels. It should be noted, too, that I am, and have always been, a vey out-going and social person. It's not normally hard for me to make friends with strangers.
So it's absolutely true that a person's first con can feel very... exclusive, excluding even. Certainly, LONELY.
I experienced that whole feeling of exclusion all over again, despite years of being in sf con fandom, when I entered the anime fandom (and the anime con fandom, both of which have their own sets of rules and entire language books full of code and lingo and acronyms.) I even posted here that what i needed for the next Anime Detour was a translator to act as my guide.
But...
I never felt it was the duty of the con runners to make me feel "welcomed." I felt weird about my lack of knowledge--uncomfortable even, but I didn't let that stop me. If I felt any sense of privilege it was a self-empowered one, which was to say I NEVER DOUBTED THAT I HAD THE RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE, I just had to figure out HOW. I also never doubted that figuring out HOW was on me, and me alone. So, I thought, "Alright then, I need to ask what does mean?" I need to call up my friends and say, "Okay, who here is going with me?" I asked my more anime con savvy friends, "So... when someone is in costume, do I talk to them 'in character' or... What? How do I interact here? What are the rules?" In my early SF con days, I found someone I knew and asked, "Okay, so what DOES it take to get on panels? How do I volunteer for the stuff I like?"
I'm not saying this because I feel like "kids these days" (or people new to fandom) don't have the same where-with-all that I did/do.
But, because this term gets bandied about a lot, I do wonder if "not welcoming" actually is for them one of those words they use that means something that my generation doesn't quite understand the same way. I wonder if it means more than what I'm describing. I'm wondering if there are very specific ways in which the younger generation feels less empowered to just participate, despite the things I described above.
I'm not sure.
I want someone to tell me. I want to understand. I want to hear the stories that will open my eyes, so I can FIX the things for you (and, ultimately for all of us.)
In the meantime, I have to guess from context.
One of the back-and-forths in the twitter round-up made it seem like one person felt left out because Michael Thomas joked about "TRUfandom" (which is also a phrase I didn't know). She said, basically: "Whelp, see what I mean, I don't know this stuff." To me, that's not being shown the door, and having it slammed in your face, that's just BEING NEW. I've had the same experience as an old-timer, getting onto Tumblr and going to Anime cons. I never felt unwelcome. I just felt NEW.
We all need to learn each other's language.
I think that this is less 'insider-ism' than just the way sub-cultures operate. I sometimes have to use the urban dictionary to parse out what my neighbor is saying to me or what comments on my fan fic mean. I don't think my neighbor or the fans of my writing are trying to insult me or exclude me or intentionally make me feel unwelcome. In fact, each time I deciphered a bit of the code, I felt brought closer in. When someone left me ILU on my fan fic, I'd no idea for sure what that meant. I looked it up, and it means "I love you!" or "I like you" and is kind of just a term of excitement, bonding, or, as my subculture would call it, squee.
I really think that when Michael made his comment his intention was inclusion, as in, 'like that joke we have about TRU fandom, you and me." Yet it was seen as endemic to the problem.
I think we need to stop assuming hostility from each other.
Fandom needs all of us, young and old.
Srsly.
What I'm reacting to is the idea that fandom (and it's not clear which 'fandom' is meant here, but maybe SF con fandom?) is unwelcoming because it has so many in-jokes... or...? I'm not sure, because I think, in point of fact, that the very term "not welcoming" is a dog-whistle for the Tumblr-generation/fans.
I'm not saying they're not right.
When I first entered con fandom, I felt very lost. I didn't know the routine. I didn't know the lingo. I didn't have many friends who went to cons. In point of fact, I dropped out of con fandom until I was a newly energized/hungry writer and saw the advantages of meeting people by being on panels. It should be noted, too, that I am, and have always been, a vey out-going and social person. It's not normally hard for me to make friends with strangers.
So it's absolutely true that a person's first con can feel very... exclusive, excluding even. Certainly, LONELY.
I experienced that whole feeling of exclusion all over again, despite years of being in sf con fandom, when I entered the anime fandom (and the anime con fandom, both of which have their own sets of rules and entire language books full of code and lingo and acronyms.) I even posted here that what i needed for the next Anime Detour was a translator to act as my guide.
But...
I never felt it was the duty of the con runners to make me feel "welcomed." I felt weird about my lack of knowledge--uncomfortable even, but I didn't let that stop me. If I felt any sense of privilege it was a self-empowered one, which was to say I NEVER DOUBTED THAT I HAD THE RIGHT TO PARTICIPATE, I just had to figure out HOW. I also never doubted that figuring out HOW was on me, and me alone. So, I thought, "Alright then, I need to ask what does mean?" I need to call up my friends and say, "Okay, who here is going with me?" I asked my more anime con savvy friends, "So... when someone is in costume, do I talk to them 'in character' or... What? How do I interact here? What are the rules?" In my early SF con days, I found someone I knew and asked, "Okay, so what DOES it take to get on panels? How do I volunteer for the stuff I like?"
I'm not saying this because I feel like "kids these days" (or people new to fandom) don't have the same where-with-all that I did/do.
But, because this term gets bandied about a lot, I do wonder if "not welcoming" actually is for them one of those words they use that means something that my generation doesn't quite understand the same way. I wonder if it means more than what I'm describing. I'm wondering if there are very specific ways in which the younger generation feels less empowered to just participate, despite the things I described above.
I'm not sure.
I want someone to tell me. I want to understand. I want to hear the stories that will open my eyes, so I can FIX the things for you (and, ultimately for all of us.)
In the meantime, I have to guess from context.
One of the back-and-forths in the twitter round-up made it seem like one person felt left out because Michael Thomas joked about "TRUfandom" (which is also a phrase I didn't know). She said, basically: "Whelp, see what I mean, I don't know this stuff." To me, that's not being shown the door, and having it slammed in your face, that's just BEING NEW. I've had the same experience as an old-timer, getting onto Tumblr and going to Anime cons. I never felt unwelcome. I just felt NEW.
We all need to learn each other's language.
I think that this is less 'insider-ism' than just the way sub-cultures operate. I sometimes have to use the urban dictionary to parse out what my neighbor is saying to me or what comments on my fan fic mean. I don't think my neighbor or the fans of my writing are trying to insult me or exclude me or intentionally make me feel unwelcome. In fact, each time I deciphered a bit of the code, I felt brought closer in. When someone left me ILU on my fan fic, I'd no idea for sure what that meant. I looked it up, and it means "I love you!" or "I like you" and is kind of just a term of excitement, bonding, or, as my subculture would call it, squee.
I really think that when Michael made his comment his intention was inclusion, as in, 'like that joke we have about TRU fandom, you and me." Yet it was seen as endemic to the problem.
I think we need to stop assuming hostility from each other.
Fandom needs all of us, young and old.
Srsly.
February 4, 2015
Bitter Empire Round-up (Naomi Kritzer)
In case you were unaware, Wyrdsmith Naomi Kritzer is a regular columnist for Bitter Empire. Here are a few of her recent contributions you may have missed (with teaser paragraphs):
Monday Morning Quarterbacking the Super Bowl Commericals
Those Decluttering Tips are all Filthy Lies
Peg Bracken Versus the FLYlady:
Avocados Are Probably Maybe Sort of A Miracle Food. Maybe. Sort of.
Getting Lucky
Monday Morning Quarterbacking the Super Bowl Commericals
I like good commercials. A really good commercial is like video flash fiction, with a story or a joke or something better than just “our product: let us show you it.” Each year’s Super Bowl is like a global mini film festival that happens between first downs. I have a friend who think this means I suffer from Consumer Stockholm Syndrome, but I don’t care. I love the good ones, and I love to complain about the bad ones.
Those Decluttering Tips are all Filthy Lies
How about an article about decluttering? I asked my editor. It’s the New Year! Lots of people resolve to declutter! I could look up decluttering tips and then try them out and see how they go!
Sure, she says. Sounds great. Do that one first.
Peg Bracken Versus the FLYlady:
When my older daughter was a baby, we needed a plumber for a broken faucet. The guy who came was running a probably-unauthorized side business hawking household products, and he pitched his product to me when he was done fixing the faucet: sink polish. “It’ll make your sink look new,” he told me enthusiastically.
Avocados Are Probably Maybe Sort of A Miracle Food. Maybe. Sort of.
A recent study found that feeding people a moderate-fat diet that included a daily avocado lowered cholesterol more than either a low-fat diet or a moderate-fat diet without the avocado.
Getting Lucky
You are likely familiar with PrEP: pre-exposure prophylaxis, an anti-retroviral drug that you can take a daily dose of if you’re at higher risk for getting HIV, like a birth control pill but to prevent HIV infection instead of pregnancies.
February 3, 2015
A Me and Science Fiction Round-up (Eleanor Arnason)
If you didn't already know, our member, Eleanor Arnason is a regular contributor to Strange Horizons. She writes a column entitled: "Me and Science Fiction."
Here is a sampling of a few you may have missed (and their opening paragraphs).
Books and the Death of the Middle Class
Problematic Chocolate
Dystopia, Dark Urban Fantasy, Zombies and Monsters from the Deep
There are dozens more you should be checking out!
Here is a sampling of a few you may have missed (and their opening paragraphs).
Books and the Death of the Middle Class
I’m not planning to write about shopping malls, but I like the quote from Howard Davidowitz; and I am planning to write about the ways that books and art are affected by the fact that the middle class no longer has “the fucking money.”
Problematic Chocolate
I haven't been reading enough books lately, so I joined a local fantasy book discussion group. A recent meeting was on The Treasure of Green Knowe, one of a much-loved series of English children's fantasies. I read the book and didn't much like it. I am probably too old for much-loved children's fantasies, though I like Terry Pratchett's Tiffany Aching (YA) series.
Dystopia, Dark Urban Fantasy, Zombies and Monsters from the Deep
Charles Stross has written the following on his blog:I’m just not that interested in writing science fiction this decade. Nope: instead, I’m veering more and more in the direction of urban fantasy.
There are dozens more you should be checking out!
January 28, 2015
Funny (if Scarily Accurate) Board Game about Writing Your First Novel
Buzzfeed has a good one today, it's a board game that simulates what it's like to write your first novel. I think there are some missing steps, but read it first:
"It's Time to Write Your First Book"
For me, there would have to be a space to land on that said, "Freak out 3 days before deadline; Rewrite book from scratch. (Go back 2 spaces)." I probably should also have one that says, "Accidentally Fall into Fandom (Go back to Start.)"
Though I've been sharing this around because: "Editor asks for more vampires" ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME.
"It's Time to Write Your First Book"
For me, there would have to be a space to land on that said, "Freak out 3 days before deadline; Rewrite book from scratch. (Go back 2 spaces)." I probably should also have one that says, "Accidentally Fall into Fandom (Go back to Start.)"
Though I've been sharing this around because: "Editor asks for more vampires" ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME.
January 27, 2015
Back in the Saddle (and a Story of Geek)
I'm back to posting on UnJust Cause finally, so if you want to check that out, it's up on Wattpad now: "To Err is Human (and Tomorrow is Another Day.)" There's not a lot there, not too much more than 500 words, but I needed to get back in the habit. Honestly, what I really, REALLY need to do with this is what Rachel and I just spent three weeks doing to School for Wayward Demons (SWD)... I need to take all the parts and get them into a huge document and start to really examine the whole shape of it.
Because if I'm going to make it into a book, it needs that. I am learning, somewhat the hard way, that writing one's way into a book (and not planning it out like I used to do) might be hella fun, but it means a lot of work on the far end, the finishing end, as it were.
It's good for me to experiment with different ways of writing, though. So no regrets. I have learned much.
Besides, despite my belly aching, it's a well-known fact that I'm a heavy reviser no matter which method I chose: pants-ing or outlining.
In other news, Mason and I had some fun yesterday. Shawn had to work late, so we went to our usual favorite hang-out place when we have time to kill but it seems foolish to go all the way home: the Roseville Library. Mason tore through the shelves and took out old favorites and a few new-to-him books. I'd settled down at a table and was starting to write when he did that kid thing, "Can we go to the coffee shop and get a scone??" I didn't think we should. You know, it's money and treats, but then I thought about my own treat: a mocha, and so I was convinced. As we were waiting for the staff to ring our stuff up and make my mocha, we overheard two guys behind us starting up a game of Munchkin. If you're unfamiliar, feel free to check out the Wikipedia article I linked to, but the short of it is that Muchkin is a card-game version of D&D. Instead of role-playing you pull various cards and move through a very random "dungeon" as part of gameplay. It doesn't matter. What you really need to know about the game is that 1) Mason LOVES it, 2) it is ridiculously geeky and often involves, like the best D&D games, arguing the rules, and 3) Mason constantly begs us to play and Shawn and I... well, we like it, but don't LOVE it, if you get my drift. So, when these two nerdy college-aged boys asked if we wanted to join them, Mason was over the moon with joy.
I decided to opt out and sat nearby with my computer. At one point one of the boys came over and said (in such an adorkable outgoing nerd way, honestly) "Your son is a delight." To which I replied, "Isn't he just." But when nerd-boy looked baffled at that I said, "Yes. Thank you." Nerd boy wanted to let me know, too, that Mason was not only keeping up with them but, "talking just enough smack." Which I honestly found deeply delightful to hear. I wanted to say, "That's because I raised him right," but merely nodded and thanked them again for inviting us to join. Because I mean, Mason is 11, I bet these two young men were twice his age: 22.
Mason was so happy afterward he not only nerdgasmed about the game play all the way home, he kept dreamily and happily muttering, "They argued the rules, Ima. They argued the rules."
"Yes, my son," I said. "You have found your people."
Because if I'm going to make it into a book, it needs that. I am learning, somewhat the hard way, that writing one's way into a book (and not planning it out like I used to do) might be hella fun, but it means a lot of work on the far end, the finishing end, as it were.
It's good for me to experiment with different ways of writing, though. So no regrets. I have learned much.
Besides, despite my belly aching, it's a well-known fact that I'm a heavy reviser no matter which method I chose: pants-ing or outlining.
In other news, Mason and I had some fun yesterday. Shawn had to work late, so we went to our usual favorite hang-out place when we have time to kill but it seems foolish to go all the way home: the Roseville Library. Mason tore through the shelves and took out old favorites and a few new-to-him books. I'd settled down at a table and was starting to write when he did that kid thing, "Can we go to the coffee shop and get a scone??" I didn't think we should. You know, it's money and treats, but then I thought about my own treat: a mocha, and so I was convinced. As we were waiting for the staff to ring our stuff up and make my mocha, we overheard two guys behind us starting up a game of Munchkin. If you're unfamiliar, feel free to check out the Wikipedia article I linked to, but the short of it is that Muchkin is a card-game version of D&D. Instead of role-playing you pull various cards and move through a very random "dungeon" as part of gameplay. It doesn't matter. What you really need to know about the game is that 1) Mason LOVES it, 2) it is ridiculously geeky and often involves, like the best D&D games, arguing the rules, and 3) Mason constantly begs us to play and Shawn and I... well, we like it, but don't LOVE it, if you get my drift. So, when these two nerdy college-aged boys asked if we wanted to join them, Mason was over the moon with joy.
I decided to opt out and sat nearby with my computer. At one point one of the boys came over and said (in such an adorkable outgoing nerd way, honestly) "Your son is a delight." To which I replied, "Isn't he just." But when nerd-boy looked baffled at that I said, "Yes. Thank you." Nerd boy wanted to let me know, too, that Mason was not only keeping up with them but, "talking just enough smack." Which I honestly found deeply delightful to hear. I wanted to say, "That's because I raised him right," but merely nodded and thanked them again for inviting us to join. Because I mean, Mason is 11, I bet these two young men were twice his age: 22.
Mason was so happy afterward he not only nerdgasmed about the game play all the way home, he kept dreamily and happily muttering, "They argued the rules, Ima. They argued the rules."
"Yes, my son," I said. "You have found your people."
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