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Published on January 09, 2025 13:30

Remembering Rudy: A reflection on life

In this week’s newsletter:

Rudy, life and death

The Podcast (hope after divorce)

The Bookshelf

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Editor’s note: Seven years ago, my 20-year-old cat, Rudy, passed away at home. In seven years, I’ve lost more pets: Jade, my “earth mama” kitty, and Lemon, my beloved black lab. I’ve been unable to get a dog since she died because I mourned so.

Most recently, there have been human deaths. My beautiful sister, Karen, and my husband’s aunt, Judy. 2024 also saw the passing of many wonderful celebrities, too. It’s a part of life, I know.

But a Facebook friend’s recent post of her cat reminded me of Rudy, so I wanted to share this essay with you (originally published on Medium): It was more than Rudy’s death that made me write the post. It was what his life symbolized.

I used to joke that Rudy would outlive all of us, but in the end, his little heart just gave out. Rudy had been experiencing some of the things that pets do when aging: loss of hearing, impaired vision, some cognitive losses as if he wasn’t sure where he was all the time.

Witnessing these symptoms has been tough. He has been with me through nearly a third of my life. I’ve had a lot of pets over the years, but Rudy was a special case because:

He was the longest living animal I have had;

While I have seen many animals put to sleep because of illnesses, Rudy was my first pet to die of natural causes, with me, at home. It made me feel my own mortality deeply.

He’d been pacing around the house, a sign of disorientation, and other possible causes. He must have logged 20,000 steps a day or more. BTW, the name Rudy is short for ballet dancer Rudolph Nureyev, because of the graceful way he walked. While I always enjoyed watching him gracefully step, I knew this pacing wasn’t normal.

Just like many elderly humans, senior cats — ages approximately 10 and up — often experience gradual memory loss, which as a result brings upon disorientation and confusion. If your precious pet feels out of his element, he may express it by wandering and pacing back and forth around a room with no apparent destination. Take note of your cat’s traveling patterns. If you notice that he seems to be aimlessly moving about your home all day, it may simply be because he doesn’t really recognize where he is anymore. — pets.the nest.com

Rudy had been to the vet several times this year because he stopped eating and seemed to be disinterested in food, but his bloodwork was fine, his kidneys were fine. His heartbeat was rapid, but the vet mentioned that due to his advanced age, nothing seemed really out of character for a 20-year-old cat.

I would bring him home and feed him soft cat food through a large syringe. After a couple of days, he’d begin eating again. And that’s why his death was so unexpected: he ate a big dinner and seemed interested in food.

Sometime around 8 p.m. he began stumbling, and stuck his tongue out in what appeared to be him trying to vomit. But actually, it might have been a combination of that and gasping for air at the same time.

I looked up at my husband, Tim, and said, “I think this might be it.”

I picked Rudy up and tried to hold him but he didn’t want to be held. I put him down on the floor and he fell over. His legs flayed around, his eyes were wide and his mouth open. He took one violent gasp and became quiet.

During his transition, the other pets seemed very interested in him, sniffing him and staying close to him until I shooed them away. I didn’t want him crowded. Perhaps that was their way of saying goodbye, or perhaps they smelled imminent death.

Eyes welling with tears, I bent over and rubbed his fur. He wasn’t dead yet but slipped away in minutes. I felt for breathing or a heartbeat. His body was limp, like a rag doll.

I sobbed. My husband tried to comfort me but for a short time, I was inconsolable. I just stood there, looking at him lying on the floor. For some crazy reason, I wanted to make sure that he was, indeed dead. I had some horror-filled thought that I might bury him alive.

Tim left the room and came back with a box. I said I wanted to wrap him in a towel before placing him in the box. By then it was dark, and I had to consider what to do next. I foolishly asked Tim if we could leave him out in the box until the morning, but he said that would not be a good idea. I just wasn’t thinking.

We decided to put him on ice until the next day, so I gently double wrapped him in towels and put him in a plastic bag. Then we put him in the garage freezer.

The next morning, being an early adopter of the internet, I did what anyone would do. I googled:

“pet burial in Norman, Oklahoma”

I really wanted to find out if it was legal to bury him on our property. Among many results returned, was “How to Bury a Cat.”

The informative but simplistic wikihow website correctly suggested I check with the city. I called the city’s Action Center line but no one answered, and I didn’t want to leave a message.

A former reporter, I looked at the city’s code of ordinances and could only find Sec. 21–204. — Disposal: Dead animals.

No person shall deposit or otherwise place for collection by the Sanitation Department any carcass or portion of any animal, bird, or reptile.

Check. I wasn’t planning to. But I still had to figure out where to bury him.

Rudy was a real part of the family, always being one of two or three pets. This current family consisted of two other cats, Jade and Gato, and Lemon, a black Labrador Retriever.

Rudy sleeping next to Lemon, our black Lab. Lemon passed in the summer of 2023.

I got him in 1998 in Kansas City, Kan. We lived in a small neighborhood with many stray animals. Every spring there were new litters and I joked they all found their way to my house. I ended up adopting many of them, taking some to no-kill shelters or finding homes for them.

He was a little matted fluff ball with a LOUD voice. So loud, I couldn’t leave him on the front porch. His delicate walk, with one paw runwaylike in front of the other, made me think of the way Russian ballet dancer Rudolph Nureyev danced. So I named him Rudy.

I was in a rocky marriage at the time. My aging parents were ill. The next year I would see the death of my mother to COPD. Three years later, a divorce. And four years after that, the loss of my father to stomach cancer and Alzheimer’s. Post-divorce dating ensued and I found some nice guys and bunch of knuckleheads.

Through it all, I had my furbabies. Rudy was there, along with a few of the other strays I had picked up.

Four cities, three jobs and seven homes later, Rudy was still there.

At 20, Rudy wasn’t the oldest documented living housecat, but he had a good, long run. His passing makes me feel my own mortality. So much of my life has passed, with him. How many years do I have left? How many of my remaining pets will pass before me? Do I, like Queen Elizabeth and her corgis, stop bringing up pets because I know they will outlive me?

All I know is that I gave Rudy the best life that I could. RIP, my sweet one.

Your sister in Christ,

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, consider listening to and following the Positively Joy podcast.

Need a speaker or emcee? Check out my website here.

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Latest podcast episode

The Positively Joy Podcast has a NEW message: to help Christian women through separation and divorce. This is a tough subject for many women in Christian settings. God put it on my heart to talk about my divorce and help women find joy!

This is NOT an anti-marriage podcast. LISTEN AND SHARE this message and HELP my new audience find it! Let's amplify this message! Listen on positivelyjoy.com, Spotify, Apple and wherever you listen!

Want news with a Christian perspective?

Try The PourOver. Each news report is followed by scripture or a Christian comment.

Support the ministry!

Yvette Walker is a journalist, educator and the founder of Positively Joy Ministries. Her ministry supports this blog, a podcast, publishing her many books and opportunities to share the message of joy.

Consider giving to support the ministry. For as little as $7 a month, receive extras, like the video podcasts of my guests, early copies of my books and other video interviews exclusive to paying supporters of this newsletter.

Or, you can subscribe through Patreon, too!

Your support helps continue this ministry and you get exclusive content, like free copies of my books. Thanks!

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Published on January 09, 2025 04:59

Happy New Year, 2025!

Happy New Year, 2025, but what a year you were, 2024!

We had a lot of ups and downs, pivots and reveals. Through it all was God. Thank you all, dear readers and listeners, for your support and feedback. Keep it coming!

I released two books, was a featured speaker to women's ministries, and changed the focus of my podcast, Positively Joy, to focus on women going through divorce and loss.

My husband, Tim, and I moved (again, somewhat unexpectedly) but were blessed to buy a new home. And we were able to sneak in a December vacation to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico, where we rode a dune buggy and sailed to the Arch at the end of the world.

The end of the year brought the death of my beloved sister, Karen, and the death of my Tim’s aunt, Judy.

Welcome, 2025! May you reflect on last year and keep this in one prayer.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” — Jeremiah 29:11

yvettebabswalker.com positivelyjoy.com

Your sister in Christ,

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, consider listening to and following the Positively Joy podcast.

Need a speaker or emcee? Check out my website here.

If you liked receiving this, like and comment!

Support the ministry!

Yvette Walker is a journalist, educator and the founder of Positively Joy Ministries. Her ministry supports this blog, a podcast, publishing her many books and opportunities to share the message of joy.

Consider giving to support the ministry. For as little as $8 a month, receive extras, like the video podcasts of my guests, early copies of my books and other video interviews exclusive to paying supporters of this newsletter.

Or, you can subscribe through Patreon, too!

Your support helps continue this ministry and you get exclusive content, like free copies of my books. Thanks!

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Published on January 01, 2025 04:05

NYE: What to watch tonight

person holding fire cracker shallow focus photography

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

In this week’s newsletter:

Films to watch on New Year’s

The Podcast (hope after divorce)

The Bookshelf

Support the ministry

Happy New Year’s Eve! What are YOUR favorite holiday movies? Here’s a list of 10 in random order that I try to see during the month of December into the New Year. (Caution, some of these titles were were made in their day and aren’t always inclusive. Warnings noted.):

“Die Hard”: Bruce Willis saves the day, the first time. Yes, it’s a holiday movie.

“Gremlins”: Don’t feed them after midnight. But isn’t it always after midnight? Again, it’s a holiday movie.

“Last Holiday”: Queen Latifah is a woman who thinks she’s dying and splurges on herself. Cute but not too saccharine.

“Scrooged:” Bill Murray is his wonderful, annoying self as a modern-day Ebenezer Scrooge.

“It’s a Wonderful Life”: The ultimate nod to all life is beautiful and full of meaning.

“Miracle on 34th Street”: Any version. I love them all.

“Holiday Inn”: You might think “White Christmas” is the better choice, but I love this tale, starring Bing Crosby and Fred Astaire, about an inn that celebrates all the holidays. Warning: there is blackface involved in one musical performance.

My favorite animated films:

“Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer”: They wouldn’t let him join their reindeer games, but he saves Christmas.

“A Charlie Brown Christmas”: Charles and the gang celebrate and learn the true meaning of Christmas.

“The Little Drummer Boy”: My favorite of the list. A beautifully done stop-motion film about the carol’s titular boy who has no gifts to bring to Jesus. Narrated by the wonderfully throated Greer Garson. Warning: some representations of Middle Eastern villains may offend.

Your sister in Christ,

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, consider listening to and following the Positively Joy podcast.

Need a speaker or emcee? Check out my website here.

If you liked receiving this, like and comment!

Latest podcast episode

The Positively Joy Podcast has a NEW message: to help Christian women through separation and divorce. This is a tough subject for many women in Christian settings. God put it on my heart to talk about my divorce and help women find joy!

This is NOT an anti-marriage podcast. LISTEN AND SHARE this message and HELP my new audience find it! Let's amplify this message! Listen on positivelyjoy.com, Spotify, Apple and wherever you listen!

Starting tomorrow! Sign up here!

Want news with a Christian perspective?

Try The PourOver. Each news report is followed by scripture or a Christian comment.

Support the ministry!

Yvette Walker is a journalist, educator and the founder of Positively Joy Ministries. Her ministry supports this blog, a podcast, publishing her many books and opportunities to share the message of joy.

Consider giving to support the ministry. For as little as $7 a month, receive extras, like the video podcasts of my guests, early copies of my books and other video interviews exclusive to paying supporters of this newsletter.

Or, you can subscribe through Patreon, too!

Your support helps continue this ministry and you get exclusive content, like free copies of my books. Thanks!

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Published on December 31, 2024 05:48

Joy Love Hope to the World

Thank you so much being a free or paid subscriber, that’s truly a Christmas gift to me. I wish you a happy and healthy holiday season. See you next week!

Your sister in Christ,

Positively J.O.Y. - Just. One. Yes! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, consider listening to and following the Positively Joy podcast.

Need a speaker or emcee? Check out my website here.

If you liked receiving this, like and comment!

Listen to the latest episode!

Support the ministry!

Yvette Walker is a journalist, educator and the founder of Positively Joy Ministries. Her ministry supports this blog, a podcast, publishing her many books and opportunities to share the message of joy.

Consider giving to support the ministry. For as little as $8 a month, receive extras, like the video podcasts of my guests, early copies of my books and other video interviews exclusive to paying supporters of this newsletter.

Or, you can subscribe through Patreon, too!

Your support helps continue this ministry and you get exclusive content, like free copies of my books. Thanks!

Positively J.O.Y. - Just. One. Yes! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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Published on December 24, 2024 04:31

My gift to our paid subscribers

I appreciate all the support our paid subscribers have given! As a thank you, I’m providing a link for to the complete e-novel, “Trial of the Heart,” a sequel to the edgy Christian thriller, “Sixty.” If you’re not a paid subscriber, but would like to for as little as $8 a month, there’s time! You can also gift a subscription to friends and family.

Subscribe now

Here’s a little teaser:

Torn between love, loyalty, and justice, Christian journalist Linda Radcliffe returns to Elmar, Oklahoma, a town haunted by its dark past. In this gripping sequel, Linda faces her greatest challenge yet: helping her old flame, Mark Dean, who’s behind bars for killing a disgraced officer in defense of his newly discovered daughter.Trial of the Heart masterfully weaves thriller and romance, plunging readers into a story of resilience, justice, and the pursuit of truth. Perfect for fans of small-town mysteries with high-stakes emotions.

As Linda steps into her role as editor of the Elmar Chronicle, her professional instincts are tested when a chilling murder rocks the local church. Can she untangle the web of secrets threatening her community while relying on her faith and navigating her own conflicted heart?

“Trial of the Heart” masterfully weaves thriller and romance, plunging readers into a story of resilience, justice, and the pursuit of truth. Perfect for fans of small-town mysteries with high-stakes emotions.

See the download link below.

Thanks again, and I hope you are able to keep supporting my work in 2025!

Your sister in Christ,

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, consider listening to and following the Positively Joy podcast.

Need a speaker or emcee? Check out my website here.

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How to find peace in my sister's death

My sister, Karen Walker on the right, with me at her home in Oklahma City.

In this week’s newsletter:

Finding peace after the loss of a loved one: A sister’s journey

The Podcast (hope after divorce)

The Bookshelf

Support the ministry

The loss of a loved one is one of life’s most profound heartbreaks. For me, it was the deaths of my mother and father, and more recently, the passing of my sister after a lengthy battle with kidney and heart disease. These were journeys filled with pain, helplessness, and, eventually, peace.

This week, I was by her bedside when Karen took her last breath—a moment that brought a sense of comfort amid the sorrow.

In her final moments, something extraordinary happened. Her face, once marked by the strain of illness, softened. She looked years younger, her features illuminated by a peaceful glow that seemed to radiate from within. It was as though the weight of her suffering had lifted, and she was finally free.

I knew, in that sacred moment, that she was no longer in pain and had found her eternal rest in the presence of God.

This experience has stayed with me, and while the grief of losing her remains, it is tempered by the peace of knowing she is in a better place. Here are some reflections and steps that have helped me on the journey to finding peace after her passing:

1. Acknowledge the pain

Grief is not something you can bypass. It demands to be felt. That day, and in the days after her passing, I allowed myself to cry, to feel the weight of her absence. It was in these moments I began to understand the irreplaceable role she played in my life.

2. Seek meaning in the moment

Being there at her peaceful passing was a gift. It reminded me of the promises of our faith—that death is not the end but a transition to a life free from pain and suffering. Her glow and serenity in those final moments were tangible signs of God’s presence, reassuring me that she was being welcomed home.

3. Honor their legacy

My sister had a big heart and a love for life, even when her body was failing her. I’ve found healing in honoring her memory by sharing stories about her. I have organized a fundraiser to share her life and stories, and to defray the costs of the funeral, memorial and travel.

4. Lean Into faith

Faith has been my anchor. The knowledge that she is in God’s care, free from pain, has brought immense comfort. Meditating on scriptures like Psalm 34:18 has reminded me that even in my grief, God is near.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

5. Find solace in community

Talking with family, friends, and even grief support groups has been invaluable. Sharing my experience has lightened the load, and hearing others’ stories of loss has reminded me that I’m not alone. It’s in these connections that I’ve found strength and support.

6. Give yourself grace

Grief is not linear. Some days, I feel okay; other days, the pain of her absence feels fresh and raw. I’ve learned to give myself grace on the hard days, allowing space for my emotions while trusting that peace will return.

A life of eternal peace

While I miss my sister deeply, the peace I saw in her face as she left this world continues to comfort me. I know she is with God, her spirit free and whole. Her journey reminds me that life is fragile, but love is eternal. And even in the shadow of loss, there can be light and hope.

If you’re walking a similar path of grief, know that peace will come in time. Lean on your faith, cherish the memories, and hold on to the promise that our loved ones are never truly gone—they live on in our hearts and in the presence of God.

Feel free to share your thoughts or stories of loss and healing in the comments. Together, we can support and uplift one another in this journey. ❤️

Your sister in Christ,

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, consider listening to and following the Positively Joy podcast.

Need a speaker or emcee? Check out my website here.

If you liked receiving this, like and comment!

Latest podcast episode

I NEED YOUR HELP! The Positively Joy Podcast has a NEW message: to help Christian women through separation and divorce. This is a tough subject for many women in Christian settings. God put it on my heart to talk about my divorce and help women find joy!

This is NOT an anti-marriage podcast. LISTEN AND SHARE this message and HELP my new audience find it! Let's amplify this message! Listen on positivelyjoy.com, Spotify, Apple and wherever you listen!

Want news with a Christian perspective?

Try The PourOver. Each news report is followed by scripture or a Christian comment.

Support the ministry!

Yvette Walker is a journalist, educator and the founder of Positively Joy Ministries. Her ministry supports this blog, a podcast, publishing her many books and opportunities to share the message of joy.

Consider giving to support the ministry. For as little as $7 a month, receive extras, like the video podcasts of my guests, early copies of my books and other video interviews exclusive to paying supporters of this newsletter.

Or, you can subscribe through Patreon, too!

Your support helps continue this ministry and you get exclusive content, like free copies of my books. Thanks!

Download the full-color PDF here.

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Published on December 14, 2024 07:09

A Christmas tale of love and redemption

“Ornamental" is a 12-page e-book filled with illustrations and a short story about what Christmas holds for Karen and her husband, Ron.

An excerpt:

Karen had decided to celebrate Christmas after a long period of abstaining from the practice. She felt it was finally time to begin celebrating the holidays again. Christmas wasn’t a day or season that she had wanted to remember. It was just too painful, and it was easier to ignore it. Still, ten years after the incident and knowing that her husband, Ron, loved everything about Christmas, she decided to emerge from her hibernation and finally decorate the house. She had rules, however. He could bring the boxes up that were marked 2014 and later. She didn’t want to see any of the family heirloom ornaments that might have belonged to her brother James, from when he was a kid, or any he might have gotten throughout the years. ....

The Positively Joy Podcast: Healing Hearts After Divorce

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THE BOOKSHELF: Poolside reading

I know it’s winter in most of the country, but when I was poolside on vacay recently, there were some books that people would just leave on a bookshelf . But the funny thing is you never knew what book was going to be there when you came back.

So I started three books: “Double Cross” by Patterson, “Sparring Partners” by Grisham and this book in the Temperance Brennan series (above). I wasn’t able to finish any of them because when I had to leave the pool, I would put the book back and it wouldn’t be there when I came back. But another one would appear and I would start the next one. I do love my mysteries, though!

What book have you just started?

E-Books by Yvette Walker

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And order the sequel, “Trial of the Heart,” here!

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Paperbacks

Need PHYSICAL Christmas gifts? Check out the devotional and the journal!

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Yvette Walker is a journalist, educator and the founder of Positively Joy Ministries. Her ministry supports this blog, a podcast, publishing her many books and opportunities to share the message of joy as a speaker.

Consider giving to support her work. For as little as $5 a month, receive extras, like the video podcasts of my guests, early copies of my books and other video interviews exclusive to paying supporters of this newsletter.

Your support helps continue this work and you get exclusive content, like free copies of my books. Thanks!

DM’s always open on Twitter.

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Published on December 09, 2024 05:28

December, snow and HOPE

In this week’s newsletter:

When times are tough, there’s H.O.P.E.

The Podcast (hope after divorce)

The Bookshelf

Support the ministry

I woke up today, the last morning in November, to snow. In Kansas City! Sure we do get snow but I wasn’t expecting it. It’s pretty, but can be difficult to get around in.

Likewise, I didn’t expect my sister’s serious illness, and the drain it has taken on her daughter, my niece, Ashlie. That’s us, above, at my wedding seven years ago. The three of us are close, and it makes me smile to look back at this moment.

I know we all can suffer trials. The half-brother of Jesus tells us so in the book of James.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. — James 1:2-4

But knowing and feeling are two different things. Relying on our feelings can get us into trouble. Like we say in our signature phrase: “Joy is not a feeling, it’s faith.”

And so I must consider it joy and seek hope as my family suffers alongside my dear sister. We must find peace as our testing builds our perseverance and endurance.

I want to share that encouragement with you, as we move into the season of Advent and Christmas.

Share this acronym for HOPE to encourage yourself and others during tough times:

H - Healing is on its way
O - Optimism fuels strength
P - Peace surrounds you
E - Endurance through every challenge

And so, I will enjoy this snowy day, and I will tell you more about my sister soon, and will share information about the help that she needs.

Your sister in Christ,

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, consider listening to and following the Positively Joy podcast.

Need a speaker or emcee? Check out my website here.

If you liked receiving this, like and comment!

Thankfulness

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord,

continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him,

strengthened in the faith as you were taught,

and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7

Gratitude and forgiveness are related. Understanding this helps us take one step closer to our relationship with Jesus Christ. I wish you a happy Thanksgiving and a wonderful holiday season!

With gratitude,

Positively J.O.Y. - Just. One. Yes! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Yvette

Black Friday Weekend Sale

“Sixty” is FREE this weekend to celebrate the release of my sequel, “Trial of the Heart,” which drops Dec. 1!

Still time to pre-order “Trial” at the special price of 99 cents.

Positively J.O.Y. - Just. One. Yes! is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.