Mark R. Hunter's Blog, page 99
May 17, 2014
Writing On The Radio
I’m on internet radio, talking with Donna Cavanagh of HumorOutcasts about my books, the emergency services, writing from a girl’s point of view, and the necessity of middle initials:
http://humoroutcasts.com/2014/humorou...
http://humoroutcasts.com/2014/humorou...
May 16, 2014
Take A Powder With Pocket Booze
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
Every now and then a concept just makes me stop and gape in amazement. The designated hitter, Joe Biden as Vice-President, a transistor radio you can listen to in the shower …
Mostly terrible ideas. Ever try to dance “Thriller” in the shower? Better have an anti-slip mat.
But this one, which struck me as both a great and terrible idea, seemed even more amazing:
Powdered alcohol.
Party in your water bottle.
Apparently this isn’t a new idea, but it was new to me. Everyone who remembers surfing the internet for the first time understands how that goes. Back in the 70’s the General Foods Corp. filed a patent for powdered alcohol, which they made by absorbing ethanol into carbohydrate powder.
“But isn’t too much carbohydrate bad for you?” Seriously, that’s your only health concern with this?
This time around a fellow named Mark Phillips decided having a bag of powdered alcohol with you at all times would be a good idea, and came up with something he called Palcohol. I could do a column just on that name. Phillips, who describes himself as an “active guy”, wanted to have some fast booze dust available, to wind down after a hard day of hiking, biking, or camping.
Heaven forbid such activities would call for Gatorade.
But I know many people who are incapable of calling a day fun unless they top it off with the alcoholic beverage of their choice, so I understand where Phillips is coming from. He developed six varieties of powdered alcohol: vodka, rum, and four cocktails. Those last are Cosmopolitan, Mojito, Powderita (!) and Lemon Drop, and shouldn’t that choice satisfy any extreme sports fan?
So what did they miss? Well, what would many people want to hold under a garden hose after, say, wrecking cars, blowing up outhouses, or shooting stop signs? That’s right: Beer. You’d think that would be the easy one—don’t they actually make it with carbohydrates?
So I hit Google, and sure enough: powdered beer. The Beer Street Journal (no, that’s not a typo), says the Alaskan company Pat’s Backcountry Beverages has created a waterless beer that has flavor, aroma, and alcohol, and even bubbles thanks to a carbonator bottle.
Again, just to be clear: Not making this up.
But over with the highbrow booze, Phillips ran into trouble. The Federal Government—you know they’d show up in this tale—supposedly gave label approval to the dry idea, but then said the approvals were issued in error. In a cloud of dust, the ability to fill your pocket with vodka disappeared. Well, you could still do it, but you’re in trouble if the plastic bag breaks.
The strange thing about this is that a product like Palcohol would have gone through an extensive permit process before ever getting to the label approval stage. This was noted by Robert Lehrman, who runs a beverage law website and reported on the idea of an extra-dry martini. Shaken, not blown.
Yes, a beverage law website. Surely you’re not surprise?
Lehrman thought this approval, followed by a rapid disproval, didn’t ring true. He figured some lawmakers wanted more information before proceeding with the approval.
Some people are blaming Big Liquor for the delay. (I’ll let you insert your own joke, there.) I think the lawmakers did the same thing I did: They saw “powdered alcohol”, stopped in their campaigning tracks, and said, “Wha—? We need to check this out.”
So now we await the chance to always have a bag of booze in our hats, hidden in our boots, or mixed with our Metamucil. Yeah, someday soon grandpa will be much happier about his diet.
I’m of mixed feelings about this, and on a related note, do the powder packets come with little mixing sticks? And are the sticks hollow, so you can drink through them? On the one hand, I don’t see how this will be abused any more than liquid alcohol will, although it may make things easier. Any place that doesn’t allow alcohol, but does allow soft drinks, will find imbibers experimenting with a whole new taste sensation.
“How did you like the movie, honey?”
“Bweaugh …. Blaaaagh!”
“So Quentin Tarintino makes you sick, too?”
But I suppose if somebody really wants to act stupid and make dumb comments in public, they’ll either carry one of those little flasks of liquid or run for Congress. My bigger concern (and this doesn’t apply to Congress) is not how they’ll harm others, but how they’ll harm themselves.
The best example: The product’s website warns people that the alcohol powder should not be snorted.
Great. Tell people who can’t wait to drink not to do something stupid.
Every now and then a concept just makes me stop and gape in amazement. The designated hitter, Joe Biden as Vice-President, a transistor radio you can listen to in the shower …
Mostly terrible ideas. Ever try to dance “Thriller” in the shower? Better have an anti-slip mat.
But this one, which struck me as both a great and terrible idea, seemed even more amazing:
Powdered alcohol.
Party in your water bottle.
Apparently this isn’t a new idea, but it was new to me. Everyone who remembers surfing the internet for the first time understands how that goes. Back in the 70’s the General Foods Corp. filed a patent for powdered alcohol, which they made by absorbing ethanol into carbohydrate powder.
“But isn’t too much carbohydrate bad for you?” Seriously, that’s your only health concern with this?
This time around a fellow named Mark Phillips decided having a bag of powdered alcohol with you at all times would be a good idea, and came up with something he called Palcohol. I could do a column just on that name. Phillips, who describes himself as an “active guy”, wanted to have some fast booze dust available, to wind down after a hard day of hiking, biking, or camping.
Heaven forbid such activities would call for Gatorade.
But I know many people who are incapable of calling a day fun unless they top it off with the alcoholic beverage of their choice, so I understand where Phillips is coming from. He developed six varieties of powdered alcohol: vodka, rum, and four cocktails. Those last are Cosmopolitan, Mojito, Powderita (!) and Lemon Drop, and shouldn’t that choice satisfy any extreme sports fan?
So what did they miss? Well, what would many people want to hold under a garden hose after, say, wrecking cars, blowing up outhouses, or shooting stop signs? That’s right: Beer. You’d think that would be the easy one—don’t they actually make it with carbohydrates?
So I hit Google, and sure enough: powdered beer. The Beer Street Journal (no, that’s not a typo), says the Alaskan company Pat’s Backcountry Beverages has created a waterless beer that has flavor, aroma, and alcohol, and even bubbles thanks to a carbonator bottle.
Again, just to be clear: Not making this up.
But over with the highbrow booze, Phillips ran into trouble. The Federal Government—you know they’d show up in this tale—supposedly gave label approval to the dry idea, but then said the approvals were issued in error. In a cloud of dust, the ability to fill your pocket with vodka disappeared. Well, you could still do it, but you’re in trouble if the plastic bag breaks.
The strange thing about this is that a product like Palcohol would have gone through an extensive permit process before ever getting to the label approval stage. This was noted by Robert Lehrman, who runs a beverage law website and reported on the idea of an extra-dry martini. Shaken, not blown.
Yes, a beverage law website. Surely you’re not surprise?
Lehrman thought this approval, followed by a rapid disproval, didn’t ring true. He figured some lawmakers wanted more information before proceeding with the approval.
Some people are blaming Big Liquor for the delay. (I’ll let you insert your own joke, there.) I think the lawmakers did the same thing I did: They saw “powdered alcohol”, stopped in their campaigning tracks, and said, “Wha—? We need to check this out.”
So now we await the chance to always have a bag of booze in our hats, hidden in our boots, or mixed with our Metamucil. Yeah, someday soon grandpa will be much happier about his diet.
I’m of mixed feelings about this, and on a related note, do the powder packets come with little mixing sticks? And are the sticks hollow, so you can drink through them? On the one hand, I don’t see how this will be abused any more than liquid alcohol will, although it may make things easier. Any place that doesn’t allow alcohol, but does allow soft drinks, will find imbibers experimenting with a whole new taste sensation.
“How did you like the movie, honey?”
“Bweaugh …. Blaaaagh!”
“So Quentin Tarintino makes you sick, too?”
But I suppose if somebody really wants to act stupid and make dumb comments in public, they’ll either carry one of those little flasks of liquid or run for Congress. My bigger concern (and this doesn’t apply to Congress) is not how they’ll harm others, but how they’ll harm themselves.
The best example: The product’s website warns people that the alcohol powder should not be snorted.
Great. Tell people who can’t wait to drink not to do something stupid.
May 15, 2014
Signed, Sealed, Delivered. Well, mailed.
We received the first 25 print copies of The No-Campfire Girls today, and Emily spent some time polishing up the website to take orders. Of course, it’s still available on Amazon, but if you want one signed—by me or by both me and Emily, since she worked as hard at it as I did—you can order it here for $5.00 plus shipping and handling:
http://www.markrhunter.com/books.html#
Or, if you live nearby, just let us know and we’ll get it to you! We’re not against traveling, but I don’t think the expenses are tax deductible. As you can see on the website, there are links to buying all our books in print or e-book format. If, for some reason, you can’t use PayPal, we’ll come up with some kind of arrangement.
http://www.markrhunter.com/books.html#
Or, if you live nearby, just let us know and we’ll get it to you! We’re not against traveling, but I don’t think the expenses are tax deductible. As you can see on the website, there are links to buying all our books in print or e-book format. If, for some reason, you can’t use PayPal, we’ll come up with some kind of arrangement.
May 14, 2014
On Internet Radio
I'm going to go live on internet radio tonight, at 6:30 EST! The link to HumorOutcasts Radio is here:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dtcav/20...
But don't worry if you can't catch it live: I'll post a link later to the HumorOutcasts website, when the recording goes up.
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dtcav/20...
But don't worry if you can't catch it live: I'll post a link later to the HumorOutcasts website, when the recording goes up.
May 13, 2014
Reviewing Request
If I could ask a favor of anyone who’s read “The No-Campfire Girls”: Please give me a review on Amazon! Reviews are one way for potential readers to learn about a book. While a great review is—well—great, a good review is certainly … um, good. Remember, a 5-star review is the best, while a 1-star review causes a fairy to drop dead. That’s my story. I mean, that’s my other story. Here’s the Amazon link for the book:
http://www.amazon.com/No-Campfire-Gir...
Remember, 30% of proceeds for “The No-Campfire Girls” go to Friends of Camp Latonka, to offset maintenance costs and keep the camp open. If that doesn’t grab you, just enjoy a fun, fast read about a group of girls in a drought-stricken summer camp who decide to beat a fire ban—by making it rain.
http://www.amazon.com/No-Campfire-Gir...
Remember, 30% of proceeds for “The No-Campfire Girls” go to Friends of Camp Latonka, to offset maintenance costs and keep the camp open. If that doesn’t grab you, just enjoy a fun, fast read about a group of girls in a drought-stricken summer camp who decide to beat a fire ban—by making it rain.
May 10, 2014
My blog tour goes to the dogs
Today my blog tour goes to the dogs with Bae, Sir Poops and Hair Ball on Shelly Arkon’s blog:
http://shellysnovicewritings.blogspot...
Bae announces, in his own way, that we have print copies of The No-Campfire Girls on the way … and that the mailman who brings them is *his*.
http://shellysnovicewritings.blogspot...
Bae announces, in his own way, that we have print copies of The No-Campfire Girls on the way … and that the mailman who brings them is *his*.
May 9, 2014
Suddenly They All Died on blog tour
My blog tour continues with fellow Ink-Slinger Kay Kauffman , whose blog is entitled, “Suddenly They All Died. The End.” Finally, someone finds the secret to trimming down those super-long fantasy novels!
We talk about story inspiration in general and for The No-Campfire Girls, as well as the horrors of not getting burned, and end with a cliffhanger:
http://suddenlytheyalldied.com/2014/0...
The No-Campfire Girls and all my books are available at my webpage, or on amazon.com.
www.markrhunter.com
We talk about story inspiration in general and for The No-Campfire Girls, as well as the horrors of not getting burned, and end with a cliffhanger:
http://suddenlytheyalldied.com/2014/0...
The No-Campfire Girls and all my books are available at my webpage, or on amazon.com.
www.markrhunter.com
May 6, 2014
Carnegie, Parents, and the Joy of Libraries:
SLIGHTLY OFF THE MARK
When my parents first married, they were too poor to go out much. So when the local comic book shops put the older inventory on sale they’d buy a stack, then sit around on weekends reading.
That story says a lot about how I came to be the person I am. It also shows that, to my family, what you read isn’t as important as reading itself.
On a very much related note, the Noble County Public Library, my literary alma mater, is celebrating its 100th year of feeding book-hungry kids like me.
A lot of things happened one century ago, in 1914:
The first red/green traffic light was installed in Cleveland, and immediately vanished into a pothole.
Edgar Rice Burroughs first published Tarzan of the Apes, a book about a violent, brooding bad guy who didn’t like reading and always got the girl. Some things never change.
The last known passenger pigeon died, allegedly eaten by Tarzan.
Oh, and a little war broke out in Europe.
Of all those things, the library opening had the most effect on me, and through that I read about all that other stuff. My family made sure there were books around the house, which is, next to paying them, one of the best ways to get your kids interested in reading. But my folks were poor, and you can buy only so many books before you have to eat them, or burn them for heat. Or eat them, and burn the, uh, waste material for heat. The problem with that is that you’re left without a book, which also isn’t very nutritious.
So along came the library. Here in Albion it was originally housed above a law office, which unfortunately gave all the books a faint odor, but in 1918 a Carnegie library was built along the courthouse square. Carnegie libraries sprung up around the world – 2,509 of them, thanks to money donated by a guy named … well, you know. The last Carnegie grant was made in 1919, so we made it in time.
Carnegie believed in giving to—here, I’ll let him say it: “The industrious and ambitious; not those who need everything done for them, but those who, being most anxious and able to help themselves, deserve and will be benefited by help from others”. Amen, brother. Like me, he came from a poor family, and understood the value of all that stuff he just said.
When I was a little kid in elementary school, every once in a while this big, strange looking van would pull up, and we’d all be herded outside. These days that’ll get the police called on you. Back then … it was full of books. Books I’d never read before, calling my name! “Read me, Mark … I have astronauts. Or dinosaurs, or soldiers … I’m not sure, I’m a book—I can’t read myself.”
To this day I feel sorry for anything or anyone who can’t read.
It was the best part of school, even better than chocolate milk Friday. Then I moved into Albion, and discovered to my astonishment that there was an entire building full of books, not five blocks from my home. All you needed was a card, and some good shoes for the walk.
It was a freaking Carnegie-fueled miracle.
I didn’t know the place had been standing there for decades. But now I could check out a whole handful of books, then go back a week later and check out another handful.
No, I wasn’t popular at school and had no girlfriends … how did you guess?
I cleaned out the children’s section. Then I cleaned out the science fiction section. Then I cleaned out the history section, and began picking away at biographies, science, and other fiction. All before graduation.
It was Heaven.
Around 1990 or so, a library board member took me on a tour of the building’s innards. By then I’d figured out it took a whole passel of people to run and improve a library, not just one moldy guy named Carnegie. The building had been added onto, and you could tell the back part was older than the front. The back part, I learned, was really designed to have books only along its outer walls, but the library had filled up and had shelves across the whole floor in that area.
He took me to the basement, and showed me where the heavy concrete was beginning to crack.
Not without controversy, in 1995 a new library was built here in Albion. I love the open style, and modern feel, and not having to thumb through card catalogues. I especially love that the floor isn’t about to cave in. (The old library is still there, but without the tremendous weight of tens of thousands of books.) The three libraries in Noble County’s system are heading toward 100,000 volumes, and that doesn’t include the Kendallville and Ligonier libraries, or what I have boxed up in the garage.
Eventually, as I researched another history project, I discovered the library held microfilms of old newspapers. For many months I holed up in there, going through papers instead of books, and now that library holds the book that resulted from my research. Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights exists directly because of the Noble County Public Library.
Hm. Now that I think of it, all my written works exist because of the Noble County Public Library. Head on up there, and read all about it.
When my parents first married, they were too poor to go out much. So when the local comic book shops put the older inventory on sale they’d buy a stack, then sit around on weekends reading.
That story says a lot about how I came to be the person I am. It also shows that, to my family, what you read isn’t as important as reading itself.
On a very much related note, the Noble County Public Library, my literary alma mater, is celebrating its 100th year of feeding book-hungry kids like me.
A lot of things happened one century ago, in 1914:
The first red/green traffic light was installed in Cleveland, and immediately vanished into a pothole.
Edgar Rice Burroughs first published Tarzan of the Apes, a book about a violent, brooding bad guy who didn’t like reading and always got the girl. Some things never change.
The last known passenger pigeon died, allegedly eaten by Tarzan.
Oh, and a little war broke out in Europe.
Of all those things, the library opening had the most effect on me, and through that I read about all that other stuff. My family made sure there were books around the house, which is, next to paying them, one of the best ways to get your kids interested in reading. But my folks were poor, and you can buy only so many books before you have to eat them, or burn them for heat. Or eat them, and burn the, uh, waste material for heat. The problem with that is that you’re left without a book, which also isn’t very nutritious.
So along came the library. Here in Albion it was originally housed above a law office, which unfortunately gave all the books a faint odor, but in 1918 a Carnegie library was built along the courthouse square. Carnegie libraries sprung up around the world – 2,509 of them, thanks to money donated by a guy named … well, you know. The last Carnegie grant was made in 1919, so we made it in time.
Carnegie believed in giving to—here, I’ll let him say it: “The industrious and ambitious; not those who need everything done for them, but those who, being most anxious and able to help themselves, deserve and will be benefited by help from others”. Amen, brother. Like me, he came from a poor family, and understood the value of all that stuff he just said.
When I was a little kid in elementary school, every once in a while this big, strange looking van would pull up, and we’d all be herded outside. These days that’ll get the police called on you. Back then … it was full of books. Books I’d never read before, calling my name! “Read me, Mark … I have astronauts. Or dinosaurs, or soldiers … I’m not sure, I’m a book—I can’t read myself.”
To this day I feel sorry for anything or anyone who can’t read.
It was the best part of school, even better than chocolate milk Friday. Then I moved into Albion, and discovered to my astonishment that there was an entire building full of books, not five blocks from my home. All you needed was a card, and some good shoes for the walk.
It was a freaking Carnegie-fueled miracle.
I didn’t know the place had been standing there for decades. But now I could check out a whole handful of books, then go back a week later and check out another handful.
No, I wasn’t popular at school and had no girlfriends … how did you guess?
I cleaned out the children’s section. Then I cleaned out the science fiction section. Then I cleaned out the history section, and began picking away at biographies, science, and other fiction. All before graduation.
It was Heaven.
Around 1990 or so, a library board member took me on a tour of the building’s innards. By then I’d figured out it took a whole passel of people to run and improve a library, not just one moldy guy named Carnegie. The building had been added onto, and you could tell the back part was older than the front. The back part, I learned, was really designed to have books only along its outer walls, but the library had filled up and had shelves across the whole floor in that area.
He took me to the basement, and showed me where the heavy concrete was beginning to crack.
Not without controversy, in 1995 a new library was built here in Albion. I love the open style, and modern feel, and not having to thumb through card catalogues. I especially love that the floor isn’t about to cave in. (The old library is still there, but without the tremendous weight of tens of thousands of books.) The three libraries in Noble County’s system are heading toward 100,000 volumes, and that doesn’t include the Kendallville and Ligonier libraries, or what I have boxed up in the garage.
Eventually, as I researched another history project, I discovered the library held microfilms of old newspapers. For many months I holed up in there, going through papers instead of books, and now that library holds the book that resulted from my research. Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights exists directly because of the Noble County Public Library.
Hm. Now that I think of it, all my written works exist because of the Noble County Public Library. Head on up there, and read all about it.
May 5, 2014
Blog Tour: Donna Yates asks me stuff
Welcome to my blog tour! I didn’t get around to announcing when it would start. *ahem*
But it did start, on May 2nd, with this blog by my writer friend Donna Yates. She asked questions about my new book, the humor/action/adventure The No-Campfire Girls, and it only seemed polite to answer:
http://dmyatesbelieveinyourself.blogs...
When you’re done reading—and I hope you will read, because she says nice things—be sure to visit my webpage or amazon.com to order a book or two.
www.markrhunter.com
But it did start, on May 2nd, with this blog by my writer friend Donna Yates. She asked questions about my new book, the humor/action/adventure The No-Campfire Girls, and it only seemed polite to answer:
http://dmyatesbelieveinyourself.blogs...
When you’re done reading—and I hope you will read, because she says nice things—be sure to visit my webpage or amazon.com to order a book or two.
www.markrhunter.com
May 4, 2014
Print version out for The No-Campfire Girls
Amazon now has the print version of The No-Campfire Girls available, as well as the e-book!
And at 25 cents off the list price, for Prime members. I have no explanation: My understanding is they reduce the price automatically to match any other price on the same product—but there are no other prices on this product! I can only suggest you take advantage and save yourselves a quarter. The Amazon page for all my books, including The No-Campfire Girls, is:
http://www.amazon.com/Mark-R-Hunter/e...
And at 25 cents off the list price, for Prime members. I have no explanation: My understanding is they reduce the price automatically to match any other price on the same product—but there are no other prices on this product! I can only suggest you take advantage and save yourselves a quarter. The Amazon page for all my books, including The No-Campfire Girls, is:
http://www.amazon.com/Mark-R-Hunter/e...
