Mark R. Hunter's Blog, page 59
March 12, 2017
Logan: R Rated X-Men Movie
First off, a warning: "Logan", while technically part of the X-Men franchise, is not what most people would consider a comic book movie, and is not, not, NOT for kids. Of course, there are plenty of movies based on comic books and graphic novels that can be enjoyed by both kids and adults. This, in what's probably a coming trend thanks to "Deadpool", is not one of them.
And that's about the only thing "Logan" has in common with "Deadpool". In fact, "Logan" sometimes seems a lot like "The Walking Dead": It's locale appears dystopian, upbeat moments are few and far between, and you get the sense that anyone--or everyone--could end up dead. Also, a lot of people tend to die with things stuck in their heads.
Logan is, of course, former X-Man Wolverine, played with intense weariness by Hugh Jackman and why the hell do people never get Oscar nominations in movies like this? The Academy Awards are pointless if Jackman and Patrick Stewart (as Charles Xavier) don't get nominations. It's 2029, and as far as he knows Logan, Charles, and their helper/babysitter Caliban are the only mutants left in the world. From their Mexican hiding place Charles keeps talking about communicating with someone, but his formidable brain is failing from a degenerative brain disease and he rarely makes sense at all.
It's a wonderful performance from all three of them, and when Jackman and Stewart share the screen it's--well--uncanny.
Logan is now a chauffeur, when he's not bargaining for medications to tamp down Charles' mind-seizures. It's hinted that those seizures, which send his telepathic abilities lethally out of control, may have killed some of the X-Men, while Caliban has his own guilty secret along those lines. As if that wasn't enough, Logan's healing powers are starting to desert him, and he's feeling very much his 200 or so years.
This was all covered in the first twenty minutes. Then the trio's "idyllic" life is interrupted by an eleven year old kid and the private army that wants her, dead or alive. They take Caliban hostage and send Logan, Charles, and little Laura on a Hope and Crosby type road trip, assuming Hope is a ninety year old degenerating telepath, Crosby an ailing alcoholic, and Dorothy Lamour a psycho kid mutant.
Yes, of course Laura's a mutant. And, although Logan spends most of the movie trying to avoid it, she both needs his help and shares a direct connection with him that's pretty obvious early on. Together they cut a swathe from Mexico to Canada, headed for a place Logan's certain is literally a comic book creation.
Okay, but is "Logan" any good?
Yeah. It's one of the best movies I've seen in years--maybe the best, in terms of story and acting. In addition to the actors, the movie should get an Oscar. It won't.
Stewart is emotional and heartbreaking. Jackman is intense in his final pass as Logan, a man who's deteriorating rapidly but still has promises to keep. He's the old Western gunslinger and the movie's a western, and just in case you don't get that, two of the actors actually sit and watch the movie "Shane", which gets a callback at the end. The casting is great overall, the action sequences sometimes a bit long but impressive, the (fairly limited) digital effects seamless, and the cinematography wonderful.
Special notice should go to Dafne Keene, in her first movie role as Laura. At first the kid is mute and mostly glares, something I figured just about any kid could manage. But then ... wow. She waxes eloquently in two languages, holds her own in action sequences and with impressive older actors, and towards the end has a few moments that are just heartrending. If she doesn't crash and burn early, Keene will be an acting force to be reckoned with. (Hey, I was right about that kid from "The Professional".)
You'll want to sit through the end credits (although there's no after-credit sequence), both to collect yourself and for the spot-on Johnny Cash song.
My rating:
Entertainment Value: 4 M&M's. I don't usually prefer such relentlessly dark movies, but wow.
Oscar Potential: 4 M&M's--the good brown ones. No, it won't get many nominations, which is just a sign of how out of touch the Hollywood ivory tower people are. It would be nice to be wrong.
And that's about the only thing "Logan" has in common with "Deadpool". In fact, "Logan" sometimes seems a lot like "The Walking Dead": It's locale appears dystopian, upbeat moments are few and far between, and you get the sense that anyone--or everyone--could end up dead. Also, a lot of people tend to die with things stuck in their heads.
Logan is, of course, former X-Man Wolverine, played with intense weariness by Hugh Jackman and why the hell do people never get Oscar nominations in movies like this? The Academy Awards are pointless if Jackman and Patrick Stewart (as Charles Xavier) don't get nominations. It's 2029, and as far as he knows Logan, Charles, and their helper/babysitter Caliban are the only mutants left in the world. From their Mexican hiding place Charles keeps talking about communicating with someone, but his formidable brain is failing from a degenerative brain disease and he rarely makes sense at all.
It's a wonderful performance from all three of them, and when Jackman and Stewart share the screen it's--well--uncanny.
Logan is now a chauffeur, when he's not bargaining for medications to tamp down Charles' mind-seizures. It's hinted that those seizures, which send his telepathic abilities lethally out of control, may have killed some of the X-Men, while Caliban has his own guilty secret along those lines. As if that wasn't enough, Logan's healing powers are starting to desert him, and he's feeling very much his 200 or so years.
This was all covered in the first twenty minutes. Then the trio's "idyllic" life is interrupted by an eleven year old kid and the private army that wants her, dead or alive. They take Caliban hostage and send Logan, Charles, and little Laura on a Hope and Crosby type road trip, assuming Hope is a ninety year old degenerating telepath, Crosby an ailing alcoholic, and Dorothy Lamour a psycho kid mutant.
Yes, of course Laura's a mutant. And, although Logan spends most of the movie trying to avoid it, she both needs his help and shares a direct connection with him that's pretty obvious early on. Together they cut a swathe from Mexico to Canada, headed for a place Logan's certain is literally a comic book creation.
Okay, but is "Logan" any good?
Yeah. It's one of the best movies I've seen in years--maybe the best, in terms of story and acting. In addition to the actors, the movie should get an Oscar. It won't.
Stewart is emotional and heartbreaking. Jackman is intense in his final pass as Logan, a man who's deteriorating rapidly but still has promises to keep. He's the old Western gunslinger and the movie's a western, and just in case you don't get that, two of the actors actually sit and watch the movie "Shane", which gets a callback at the end. The casting is great overall, the action sequences sometimes a bit long but impressive, the (fairly limited) digital effects seamless, and the cinematography wonderful.
Special notice should go to Dafne Keene, in her first movie role as Laura. At first the kid is mute and mostly glares, something I figured just about any kid could manage. But then ... wow. She waxes eloquently in two languages, holds her own in action sequences and with impressive older actors, and towards the end has a few moments that are just heartrending. If she doesn't crash and burn early, Keene will be an acting force to be reckoned with. (Hey, I was right about that kid from "The Professional".)
You'll want to sit through the end credits (although there's no after-credit sequence), both to collect yourself and for the spot-on Johnny Cash song.
My rating:
Entertainment Value: 4 M&M's. I don't usually prefer such relentlessly dark movies, but wow.
Oscar Potential: 4 M&M's--the good brown ones. No, it won't get many nominations, which is just a sign of how out of touch the Hollywood ivory tower people are. It would be nice to be wrong.
March 9, 2017
Dogs, Dragons, and Writing Advice
Zora Marie talked to me about author's stuff on her blog this week:
http://blog.zoramarie.com/author-inte...
Among other things we discussed time, inspiration, dogs vs. dragons, and marrying book cover designers.
http://blog.zoramarie.com/author-inte...
Among other things we discussed time, inspiration, dogs vs. dragons, and marrying book cover designers.
March 7, 2017
Radio Red: First I Lobster, then I Flounder
A young woman moves from one state to another (with one of those states beginning with an M) and falls for a guy working in communications, who has a silly and sometimes inappropriate sense of humor.
Quick: Is it the plot of my newest novel, or the story of my life? Trick question--it's both!
Okay, it's a tenuous connection. (It's a real word, I looked it up.) The truth is, I wrote Radio Red before I met Emily. Granted, I'm always looking for a way to promote my books, but I think marrying someone just because she comes from Missouri, and my main character is going to Michigan, is a little much. (Still, the male protagonist and I do both talk on the radio for a living, so there's that.)
The other connection is one I didn't notice at all, until Emily pointed it out: My publisher, Torrid Books, scheduled the release of Radio Red for March 7; our wedding anniversary is March 5. Not an exact match, but still, the story's about a couple getting--you know--coupled. What better way to celebrate our marriage than with a romantic comedy?
I mean, other than a lobster dinner and wine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy links for Radio Red (and other books):
http://www.simonandschuster.com/searc...
https://www.amazon.com/Radio-Red-R-Ma...
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/radi...
https://play.google.com/store/books/d...
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/radio...
Not to mention www.markrhunter.com, of course.
Radio Red:
Kirsten Veiss is setting a record for bad days: She’s broke, lost in rural Michigan, sunburned, and without transportation after her van hits a deer. When she hears a nearby radio personality making fun of the classical music she loves, it’s the last straw.
Aaron Debolt just wants to bring classical to a wider audience, and he thinks a shock jock approach might do it. But he’s shocked himself when a sunburned, wild-eyed redhead bursts into the radio station late at night, brandishing—a tailpipe.
Soon Aaron has his hands full in more ways than one, and Kirsten has a temporary on-air job under the name Radio Red. Now all they have to do is prove she’s not the one sabotaging the station’s operation.
Quick: Is it the plot of my newest novel, or the story of my life? Trick question--it's both!
Okay, it's a tenuous connection. (It's a real word, I looked it up.) The truth is, I wrote Radio Red before I met Emily. Granted, I'm always looking for a way to promote my books, but I think marrying someone just because she comes from Missouri, and my main character is going to Michigan, is a little much. (Still, the male protagonist and I do both talk on the radio for a living, so there's that.)
The other connection is one I didn't notice at all, until Emily pointed it out: My publisher, Torrid Books, scheduled the release of Radio Red for March 7; our wedding anniversary is March 5. Not an exact match, but still, the story's about a couple getting--you know--coupled. What better way to celebrate our marriage than with a romantic comedy?
I mean, other than a lobster dinner and wine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buy links for Radio Red (and other books):
http://www.simonandschuster.com/searc...
https://www.amazon.com/Radio-Red-R-Ma...
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/radi...
https://play.google.com/store/books/d...
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/radio...
Not to mention www.markrhunter.com, of course.
Radio Red:
Kirsten Veiss is setting a record for bad days: She’s broke, lost in rural Michigan, sunburned, and without transportation after her van hits a deer. When she hears a nearby radio personality making fun of the classical music she loves, it’s the last straw.
Aaron Debolt just wants to bring classical to a wider audience, and he thinks a shock jock approach might do it. But he’s shocked himself when a sunburned, wild-eyed redhead bursts into the radio station late at night, brandishing—a tailpipe.
Soon Aaron has his hands full in more ways than one, and Kirsten has a temporary on-air job under the name Radio Red. Now all they have to do is prove she’s not the one sabotaging the station’s operation.
March 5, 2017
There's No Magic Bullet for This Anniversary
I took a couple of days off for our wedding anniversary this year, having come up with a fairly simple idea, which is all I'm capable of when it comes to events like that. Anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's Day ... my mind freezes up like a ... frozen ... thing. See, just thinking about it does that.
Now, my wife loves camping, but our anniversary is March 5th. In Indiana that's camping season in the same way the South Pole is a tourist attraction: Sure, you can do it, but you're more than likely going to freeze. But we'd had a very warm February, so I rolled the dice and came up with a plan: We would head south for a short camping trip, maybe somewhere along the Ohio River where it's always at least five or ten degrees warmer than Northern Indiana. It's not exactly green down there yet, which is why I settled on Clifty Falls State Park--a place where a lack of foliage might actually improve the view.
As long as it didn't rain it was a brilliant plan, by which I mean it was brilliant by my standards, by which I mean I didn't come up with a backup plan in case it rained. Then we got measurable snow on two of the first three days of March. The first day we didn't get any snow because of the severe thunderstorm rolling through.
I confess to getting a little nervous at that point.
Our forecast was cooler and partially wet, but hey--that was hundreds of miles from our soon-to-be dream anniversary spot. So I checked the forecast for Madison, Indiana, which is right by Clifty Falls at the opposite end of the state.
Their forecast was exactly the same as ours.
That I didn't see coming. It wouldn't be so cold that we wouldn't be comfortable inside the sleeping bags my mother-in-law gave us for Christmas--but three days stuck inside a tent with a dog, wrapped in a sleeping bag (us, not the dog), just doesn't seem all that dreamy.
So as I write this it's March Third, and I'm desperately trying to come up with a plan B. I even checked on what the anniversary gifts are for a fifth wedding anniversary. The traditional one is wood, and the modern one is silverware.
Well, the wood would come in handy to build a fire. But silverware? Why don't I just give her a new garbage disposal, or a vacuum cleaner? "Isn't it romantic? A gift like this will sweep you off your feet! Get it? Dear? What are you doing with that ax?"
At this point I considered combining the anniversary gift ideas into a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" themed anniversary, in which we would go out into the forest with wooden stakes and silver bullets to hunt the supernatural. That show figured into how we met, and I believe it's having a 20th anniversary itself, so I thought I had something. Then I realized it would involve taking my once again disappointed wife into an area with no witnesses, then handing her a sharp object and a loaded gun.
Might as well just give her a shovel, too ... but I think hand tools don't come around until the 11th anniversary. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I can.
Now, my wife loves camping, but our anniversary is March 5th. In Indiana that's camping season in the same way the South Pole is a tourist attraction: Sure, you can do it, but you're more than likely going to freeze. But we'd had a very warm February, so I rolled the dice and came up with a plan: We would head south for a short camping trip, maybe somewhere along the Ohio River where it's always at least five or ten degrees warmer than Northern Indiana. It's not exactly green down there yet, which is why I settled on Clifty Falls State Park--a place where a lack of foliage might actually improve the view.
As long as it didn't rain it was a brilliant plan, by which I mean it was brilliant by my standards, by which I mean I didn't come up with a backup plan in case it rained. Then we got measurable snow on two of the first three days of March. The first day we didn't get any snow because of the severe thunderstorm rolling through.
I confess to getting a little nervous at that point.
Our forecast was cooler and partially wet, but hey--that was hundreds of miles from our soon-to-be dream anniversary spot. So I checked the forecast for Madison, Indiana, which is right by Clifty Falls at the opposite end of the state.
Their forecast was exactly the same as ours.
That I didn't see coming. It wouldn't be so cold that we wouldn't be comfortable inside the sleeping bags my mother-in-law gave us for Christmas--but three days stuck inside a tent with a dog, wrapped in a sleeping bag (us, not the dog), just doesn't seem all that dreamy.
So as I write this it's March Third, and I'm desperately trying to come up with a plan B. I even checked on what the anniversary gifts are for a fifth wedding anniversary. The traditional one is wood, and the modern one is silverware.
Well, the wood would come in handy to build a fire. But silverware? Why don't I just give her a new garbage disposal, or a vacuum cleaner? "Isn't it romantic? A gift like this will sweep you off your feet! Get it? Dear? What are you doing with that ax?"
At this point I considered combining the anniversary gift ideas into a "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" themed anniversary, in which we would go out into the forest with wooden stakes and silver bullets to hunt the supernatural. That show figured into how we met, and I believe it's having a 20th anniversary itself, so I thought I had something. Then I realized it would involve taking my once again disappointed wife into an area with no witnesses, then handing her a sharp object and a loaded gun.
Might as well just give her a shovel, too ... but I think hand tools don't come around until the 11th anniversary. I'll let you know how it goes.
If I can.
March 4, 2017
Radio Red in print
Surprise! In addition to the e-book version, Radio Red is now listed for sale in print on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Radio-Red-Mark...
And another surprise, it's listed as being published February 28th--even though the official publication date is March 7th. I suppose they put it up as soon as the print setup was done, and hey--who am I to complain? Now my baby is out in the world.
Since we were going by the March 7th release date, we don't have the print order form up on the website just yet, but stand by. Meanwhile, the print copies we ordered should be here in a week or so. Don't be surprised if you see me standing at the back of a Ford Escape sometime soon, hissing at passersby: "Hey! You wanna read a good book? No? How about my book?"
Buy links for Radio Red (and our other books):
http://www.simonandschuster.com/searc...
https://www.amazon.com/Radio-Red-R-Ma...
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/radi...
https://play.google.com/store/books/d...
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/radio...
https://www.amazon.com/Radio-Red-Mark...
And another surprise, it's listed as being published February 28th--even though the official publication date is March 7th. I suppose they put it up as soon as the print setup was done, and hey--who am I to complain? Now my baby is out in the world.
Since we were going by the March 7th release date, we don't have the print order form up on the website just yet, but stand by. Meanwhile, the print copies we ordered should be here in a week or so. Don't be surprised if you see me standing at the back of a Ford Escape sometime soon, hissing at passersby: "Hey! You wanna read a good book? No? How about my book?"
Buy links for Radio Red (and our other books):
http://www.simonandschuster.com/searc...
https://www.amazon.com/Radio-Red-R-Ma...
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/radi...
https://play.google.com/store/books/d...
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/radio...
March 2, 2017
When the Weather Rocks Your World
At work the other night we took 63 calls, almost all of them storm related, in a five hour period. It's not unheard of for us to take only a dozen calls all of third shift this time of year, assuming no winter weather comes in and there aren't a lot of traffic stops. (I work in an emergency communications center.)
I'm still so stressed that every muscle in my body is tightened up. I feel like if someone sneaked up behind me right now I'd get a concussion hitting the ceiling. But I've learned a few things I'd like to pass on to you:
If a stop light goes dark due to storm damage, the law says you're supposed to treat it as a four way stop. I learned this in driver's ed, but apparently they don't teach that anymore. So my advice to you is that if the traffic light is out you should stop at the intersection and, if you see anyone coming the other way, turn around and take the back roads. Yeah, if the other guy hits you after you stopped and proceeded it'll be his fault, but you'll still be hit.
If you're got a trampoline, anchor it down. Apparently they make great sails until they get to a road, then they make great roadblocks.
If you see a utility line on the ground and can 't tell if it's an electric line, a TV cable, or a phone line ... it's an electric line.
Speaking of roadblocks, if a huge storm goes through at night and you have to drive somewhere in the morning, treat every hill or curve as if it's the wrapping of a huge present waiting just out of sight. That present may be a utility pole, or a tree, or a trampoline, inviting you to party with your insurance agent. Not the greatest comparison ever, but still.
Straight line winds aren't nearly as sexy as tornadoes, but they can still rock your world.
Being in a building hit by lightning is very exciting.
Sometimes exciting is not good.
If you're a 911 dispatcher, don't drink. You might never stop.
I'm still so stressed that every muscle in my body is tightened up. I feel like if someone sneaked up behind me right now I'd get a concussion hitting the ceiling. But I've learned a few things I'd like to pass on to you:
If a stop light goes dark due to storm damage, the law says you're supposed to treat it as a four way stop. I learned this in driver's ed, but apparently they don't teach that anymore. So my advice to you is that if the traffic light is out you should stop at the intersection and, if you see anyone coming the other way, turn around and take the back roads. Yeah, if the other guy hits you after you stopped and proceeded it'll be his fault, but you'll still be hit.
If you're got a trampoline, anchor it down. Apparently they make great sails until they get to a road, then they make great roadblocks.
If you see a utility line on the ground and can 't tell if it's an electric line, a TV cable, or a phone line ... it's an electric line.
Speaking of roadblocks, if a huge storm goes through at night and you have to drive somewhere in the morning, treat every hill or curve as if it's the wrapping of a huge present waiting just out of sight. That present may be a utility pole, or a tree, or a trampoline, inviting you to party with your insurance agent. Not the greatest comparison ever, but still.
Straight line winds aren't nearly as sexy as tornadoes, but they can still rock your world.
Being in a building hit by lightning is very exciting.
Sometimes exciting is not good.
If you're a 911 dispatcher, don't drink. You might never stop.
February 26, 2017
The Very True Legends of Ol' Man Wickleberry and his Demise
(This is the big non-Radio Red announcement post that only newsletter subscribers have seen so far. As we'll see later, it does relate to Radio Red--in a big way.)
Awhile back I was invited to write a story for a fiction anthology e-book: The Very True Legends of Ol' Man Wickleberry and his Demise. Me being the type to kill two birds with one stone (It's just an expression!), I made a connection between that book and Radio Red, and had a lot of fun with it. And now it's up for ... free!
Ol’ Man Wickleberry is a man of legend – or is he a legend of a man? With a scruffy beard and a dislike for humanity, how long has it been since he met his demise, and what is he doing in his ghostly afterlife? The stories may differ, but all of them are true. We swear. So if you’re ever wandering alone in the woods at night, and find you’re not really alone, it just might be Ol’ Man Wickleberry.
Enjoy eight tales by seven talented authors including:
Vendetta by Chris Harris: Mr. Baker is on his way to steal a deal when he’s snowed in. Stuck waiting at a rustic tavern, he’s ambushed by an old man with a strange story – a story that’s beyond belief. Or is it?
Evil Animals and Automobiles by Mark R Hunter : Ol’ Man Wickleberry hates deer so much he sometimes prompts them to an untimely end, with the help of those newfangled automobiles. But the next victim might be Ol’ Man Wickleberry, himself.
The True Story of Ol’ Man Wickleberry by Jonathan Harvey: Jonathan Harvey puts the Terrible Turtle spin on the Wickleberry legend. He names himself Papa Harvey and weaves a tale that is strange and bizarre, but still interesting. If only he wasn’t constantly being interrupted.
Out Walking by Joleene Naylor: The mysterious carnivorous white rabbits sound too strange to be true, but Ol’ Man Wickleberry can’t stand the thought of missing some rare game. It seems a walk is in order…
Body Swap by Ruth Nordin: A teenage boy makes a trade with a man who was thought to be dead.
Weirdly Normal - The Hike by Simon Goodson: Vincent hates hiking. But more than anything else, he hates their guide's endless wittering about the horribly scary myth of Ol' Man Wickleberry. Just when Vincent is certain the night can't get any worse... Ol' Man Wickleberry himself makes an appearance!
Wickleberry Elixir by Terry Compton: Rick and his two fellow college students just wanted a few extra college credits and the money from the work study. Then the professor demanded more details. But details sometimes lead to answers no one really wants or believes.
Ol’ Man Wickleberry (The Other True Story) by Jonathan Harvey: Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O, and next to this farm lived Ol’ Man Wickleberry, E-I-E-I – Oh. It seems Ol’ Man Wickleberry doesn’t like these kind of goings ons. A short story that’s rhyming good fun.
It was loads of fun. And the best part for me is that connection I mentioned earlier: My story about Ol' Man Wickleberry happens to take place during the opening chapter of Radio Red--but from a very different perspective. It's not a spoiler: The scene is the inciting incident of the novel, and is actually on the back cover blurb and in the story's description, so fear not!
You can find Ol' Man Wickleberry for free on Smashwords and Barnes and Noble:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-v...
And it's on Amazon. At the moment it's 99 cents there, but our illustrious editor is working on price matching and getting it down to zero, too--keep checking back!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MZF588Q
Awhile back I was invited to write a story for a fiction anthology e-book: The Very True Legends of Ol' Man Wickleberry and his Demise. Me being the type to kill two birds with one stone (It's just an expression!), I made a connection between that book and Radio Red, and had a lot of fun with it. And now it's up for ... free!
Ol’ Man Wickleberry is a man of legend – or is he a legend of a man? With a scruffy beard and a dislike for humanity, how long has it been since he met his demise, and what is he doing in his ghostly afterlife? The stories may differ, but all of them are true. We swear. So if you’re ever wandering alone in the woods at night, and find you’re not really alone, it just might be Ol’ Man Wickleberry.
Enjoy eight tales by seven talented authors including:
Vendetta by Chris Harris: Mr. Baker is on his way to steal a deal when he’s snowed in. Stuck waiting at a rustic tavern, he’s ambushed by an old man with a strange story – a story that’s beyond belief. Or is it?
Evil Animals and Automobiles by Mark R Hunter : Ol’ Man Wickleberry hates deer so much he sometimes prompts them to an untimely end, with the help of those newfangled automobiles. But the next victim might be Ol’ Man Wickleberry, himself.
The True Story of Ol’ Man Wickleberry by Jonathan Harvey: Jonathan Harvey puts the Terrible Turtle spin on the Wickleberry legend. He names himself Papa Harvey and weaves a tale that is strange and bizarre, but still interesting. If only he wasn’t constantly being interrupted.
Out Walking by Joleene Naylor: The mysterious carnivorous white rabbits sound too strange to be true, but Ol’ Man Wickleberry can’t stand the thought of missing some rare game. It seems a walk is in order…
Body Swap by Ruth Nordin: A teenage boy makes a trade with a man who was thought to be dead.
Weirdly Normal - The Hike by Simon Goodson: Vincent hates hiking. But more than anything else, he hates their guide's endless wittering about the horribly scary myth of Ol' Man Wickleberry. Just when Vincent is certain the night can't get any worse... Ol' Man Wickleberry himself makes an appearance!
Wickleberry Elixir by Terry Compton: Rick and his two fellow college students just wanted a few extra college credits and the money from the work study. Then the professor demanded more details. But details sometimes lead to answers no one really wants or believes.
Ol’ Man Wickleberry (The Other True Story) by Jonathan Harvey: Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O, and next to this farm lived Ol’ Man Wickleberry, E-I-E-I – Oh. It seems Ol’ Man Wickleberry doesn’t like these kind of goings ons. A short story that’s rhyming good fun.
It was loads of fun. And the best part for me is that connection I mentioned earlier: My story about Ol' Man Wickleberry happens to take place during the opening chapter of Radio Red--but from a very different perspective. It's not a spoiler: The scene is the inciting incident of the novel, and is actually on the back cover blurb and in the story's description, so fear not!
You can find Ol' Man Wickleberry for free on Smashwords and Barnes and Noble:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-v...
And it's on Amazon. At the moment it's 99 cents there, but our illustrious editor is working on price matching and getting it down to zero, too--keep checking back!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MZF588Q
February 24, 2017
It's a Trappist! ... In Twelve Parsecs
The headline stopped me cold: "Seven Objects Found Circling Dwarf".
My first thought, as you might imagine, was: "Wait--I thought 'dwarf' was now an insulting, politically incorrect term, like 'midget', or 'calm political discussion'. Sure, you have dwarfs in online gaming, but that's a whole other thing. Have you ever tried to get an Orc to clean up his language?
"Excuse me, Mr. Orc, but the proper term is 'little people'. Wait--what are you doing with that double bladed ax? Help!"
Anyway, my second thought was, "Someone needs to help protect that poor dwarf from those seven--seven? I mean, not me--I have an appointment. My sciatica is acting up. Danger makes my ears bleed."
Turns out it was a red dwarf, which seemed even more insulting until I discovered that's a type of sun. This particular sun should be very familiar to Han Solo, who could reach it in twelve parsecs (that's how far away it is), but for the rest of us a parsec is a unit of distance: It would take several million years, even if we took an empty jug along instead of stopping for bathroom breaks. At 39 light years it's close, but that's in astronomical terms: It's like saying a government project is "only" a few million dollars.
For those of you who are Star Wars fans, I should add that this is a red sun we're talking about, named by the movie series' Admiral Ackbar: "It's a Trappist-1!" It's only a little star, slightly bigger than Jupiter and twelve times smaller than our own Sun. The truth is, red dwarfs are the most common types of stars in the galaxy, so in all ways it's unremarkable except one: We've discovered planets circling it.
Lots of planets.
Not only that, but most of the planets are around the size of our Earth. Not only that, but three of those planets are in the star's Goldilocks zone. And so, in the most stunning astronomical discovery ever, we can definitively announce that we've discovered planets inhabited by bears and little blonde girls. The worlds are thriving, and covered by porridge, making them just right.
Or maybe that's just a term astronomers use for a planet that's the perfect distance from its sun for life to exist: Not too hot, not too cold. Liquid water could exist there, which means you could, indeed, make porridge, although I prefer oatmeal. It's sweeter. At least, it is when I'm done with it.
Since Trappist-1 is so small it's very dim, like a 15 watt bulb, or a politician. (I never get tired of that ... even when everyone else does.) So to be in the Goldilocks zone, three of the planets whirl around very close to the sun, and to each other. The years are very short, the sun dim and red, and you could stand on one planet and see the others as plainly as we see our Moon. As a result there are probably a lot of tidal forces there, so you'd have no problem keeping your clothes clean. Really, it's like a paradise, except for the violent earthquakes and volcanoes that would come from the tidal forces, and I just realized they aren't talking about laundry detergent.
We don't know a lot about these planets, yet. What kind of atmosphere do they have? Is it like Montana, or Beijing? Is there water there? Considering how much water we've discovered across our own solar system, it's likely. And the best part is there are no gas giants, leading us to believe the entire system is devoid of both lawyers and Congressmen. (What? It's still funny.)
But regardless of that, this is still the largest number of planets we've yet seen around an exoplanet, which is to say a planet not circling our own Sun. It's like they're an outtie and we're an innie. And all of them close enough to Earth-size to make us sit up and consider the possibilities.
So, is there life? Bacteria? An ape civilization? Starbucks? Most important of all, do they have chocolate?
Or ... dare I say it ... something better than chocolate? Granted, seems unlikely.
Maybe we could send Han Solo to check.
My first thought, as you might imagine, was: "Wait--I thought 'dwarf' was now an insulting, politically incorrect term, like 'midget', or 'calm political discussion'. Sure, you have dwarfs in online gaming, but that's a whole other thing. Have you ever tried to get an Orc to clean up his language?
"Excuse me, Mr. Orc, but the proper term is 'little people'. Wait--what are you doing with that double bladed ax? Help!"
Anyway, my second thought was, "Someone needs to help protect that poor dwarf from those seven--seven? I mean, not me--I have an appointment. My sciatica is acting up. Danger makes my ears bleed."
Turns out it was a red dwarf, which seemed even more insulting until I discovered that's a type of sun. This particular sun should be very familiar to Han Solo, who could reach it in twelve parsecs (that's how far away it is), but for the rest of us a parsec is a unit of distance: It would take several million years, even if we took an empty jug along instead of stopping for bathroom breaks. At 39 light years it's close, but that's in astronomical terms: It's like saying a government project is "only" a few million dollars.
For those of you who are Star Wars fans, I should add that this is a red sun we're talking about, named by the movie series' Admiral Ackbar: "It's a Trappist-1!" It's only a little star, slightly bigger than Jupiter and twelve times smaller than our own Sun. The truth is, red dwarfs are the most common types of stars in the galaxy, so in all ways it's unremarkable except one: We've discovered planets circling it.
Lots of planets.
Not only that, but most of the planets are around the size of our Earth. Not only that, but three of those planets are in the star's Goldilocks zone. And so, in the most stunning astronomical discovery ever, we can definitively announce that we've discovered planets inhabited by bears and little blonde girls. The worlds are thriving, and covered by porridge, making them just right.
Or maybe that's just a term astronomers use for a planet that's the perfect distance from its sun for life to exist: Not too hot, not too cold. Liquid water could exist there, which means you could, indeed, make porridge, although I prefer oatmeal. It's sweeter. At least, it is when I'm done with it.
Since Trappist-1 is so small it's very dim, like a 15 watt bulb, or a politician. (I never get tired of that ... even when everyone else does.) So to be in the Goldilocks zone, three of the planets whirl around very close to the sun, and to each other. The years are very short, the sun dim and red, and you could stand on one planet and see the others as plainly as we see our Moon. As a result there are probably a lot of tidal forces there, so you'd have no problem keeping your clothes clean. Really, it's like a paradise, except for the violent earthquakes and volcanoes that would come from the tidal forces, and I just realized they aren't talking about laundry detergent.
We don't know a lot about these planets, yet. What kind of atmosphere do they have? Is it like Montana, or Beijing? Is there water there? Considering how much water we've discovered across our own solar system, it's likely. And the best part is there are no gas giants, leading us to believe the entire system is devoid of both lawyers and Congressmen. (What? It's still funny.)
But regardless of that, this is still the largest number of planets we've yet seen around an exoplanet, which is to say a planet not circling our own Sun. It's like they're an outtie and we're an innie. And all of them close enough to Earth-size to make us sit up and consider the possibilities.
So, is there life? Bacteria? An ape civilization? Starbucks? Most important of all, do they have chocolate?
Or ... dare I say it ... something better than chocolate? Granted, seems unlikely.
Maybe we could send Han Solo to check.
February 23, 2017
Do newsletters work for you?
I'm at odds over what to do with my newsletter: I promised subscribers early notice of writing related stuff, and exclusive content (and a dog photo with every e-mail), but I just can't seem to attract many new subscribers. When you add that to the fact that some subscribers don't open all the e-mails, I have to question whether I can justify putting so much effort there. On the other hand ... I promised.
Now, the newsletter has a button that allows me to put notifications up on Twitter and Facebook when a new one comes out. Alternately, I could take the newsletter and also post it on my blog, where I have more followers, and presumably some of those followers actually read my blog. I could announce on my other social media sites when it comes up on the blog, which I do for just about everything anyway, but that would take away from the whole special aspect of it that I had in mind.
Or I could do some combination thereof.
Many authors swear by newsletters over blogs or social media, saying there you have people who actually opted in to hear what you have to say. But if you're not already well known, you have the problem of getting people to opt in to begin with. What do you authors do, and how does it work for you? And as a reader, where would you prefer to hear from your favorite writer? Also, as a reader, am I stressing out way too much about this exclusivity thing? I mean, I'm not giving away the formula for KFC's special coating.
Now, the newsletter has a button that allows me to put notifications up on Twitter and Facebook when a new one comes out. Alternately, I could take the newsletter and also post it on my blog, where I have more followers, and presumably some of those followers actually read my blog. I could announce on my other social media sites when it comes up on the blog, which I do for just about everything anyway, but that would take away from the whole special aspect of it that I had in mind.
Or I could do some combination thereof.
Many authors swear by newsletters over blogs or social media, saying there you have people who actually opted in to hear what you have to say. But if you're not already well known, you have the problem of getting people to opt in to begin with. What do you authors do, and how does it work for you? And as a reader, where would you prefer to hear from your favorite writer? Also, as a reader, am I stressing out way too much about this exclusivity thing? I mean, I'm not giving away the formula for KFC's special coating.
February 22, 2017
A taxing job
I'm working on my taxes ... by which I mean I'll get all the paperwork together, then pay someone else to work on my taxes. Something tells me I'm not the only one who procrastinates until the year is gone, then rushes to find all the paperwork.
This is when I put together my writing costs and income, and I've got to say 2016 wasn't a good year for author-stuff. As a business goes, it's a pretty darned expensive hobby. In the electronic age there's less cost in paper, ink and postage, but more cost in everything "e": electronics, electricity, enternet ... *ahem*.
Last year wasn't as red inky as I'd thought, though: I ordered fifty copies of Radio Red, but it was after the first of the year. That means I have to go all Harold Hill to keep 2017 from being red inky, too. (Not to worry, dear reader--as soon as they arrive I'll do my best to recover my cost, which is to say I'll push them like a desperate drug dealer.)
Harold Hill? Come on, the fast-talking salesman in "The Music Man"! Look it up.
So it's not looking good for the whole "retire into the life of a full-time writer" plan. Still, as long as I have a pencil stub and a piece of scrap paper you'll find me writing something, somewhere. That's just what we do--for most writers, it's an addiction. Maybe the desperate drug dealer comparison isn't that far off.
Much as a writer needs to write, a working writer needs to sell, so I'm cutting into my writing time to get manuscripts into the mail again. No agent or editor is safe from me! For you authors out there (Working writers are "working", whether they're trying to sell or not), how much time do you put into selling and promoting?
This is when I put together my writing costs and income, and I've got to say 2016 wasn't a good year for author-stuff. As a business goes, it's a pretty darned expensive hobby. In the electronic age there's less cost in paper, ink and postage, but more cost in everything "e": electronics, electricity, enternet ... *ahem*.
Last year wasn't as red inky as I'd thought, though: I ordered fifty copies of Radio Red, but it was after the first of the year. That means I have to go all Harold Hill to keep 2017 from being red inky, too. (Not to worry, dear reader--as soon as they arrive I'll do my best to recover my cost, which is to say I'll push them like a desperate drug dealer.)
Harold Hill? Come on, the fast-talking salesman in "The Music Man"! Look it up.
So it's not looking good for the whole "retire into the life of a full-time writer" plan. Still, as long as I have a pencil stub and a piece of scrap paper you'll find me writing something, somewhere. That's just what we do--for most writers, it's an addiction. Maybe the desperate drug dealer comparison isn't that far off.
Much as a writer needs to write, a working writer needs to sell, so I'm cutting into my writing time to get manuscripts into the mail again. No agent or editor is safe from me! For you authors out there (Working writers are "working", whether they're trying to sell or not), how much time do you put into selling and promoting?
