Walter Jon Williams's Blog, page 192

Galactic Onanation Device

Happy Holidays, everybody!  Jesus is returning!As a Borg!On a Cube!Which is disguised as a comet!And you can prove this through scripture!Via io9, the exciting new UFO theory so insanely implausible and dimwitted that of course tens of thousands of people believe in it without question.Conspiracy theorists believe that Comet Elenin is rapidly approaching Earth, and that it's a perfect cube. A cube piloted by cyborgs who seek to assimiliate the human race into their collective. A Borg Cube...

Mayan Stylin'

If you've been fretting about the end of the world (which, for those of you still waiting for Y2K, has been rescheduled for 2012), you can now rest easy.If, that is, you own an Invisible Mystic Mayan Power Cloak.The Mayan Power Cloak not only guarantees that you will survive the arrival of Bolon Yokte' K'uh, a close encounter with the planet Nibiru, or a dangerous proximity to Lars von Trier, but will also "Harness unlimited Love, Money, and Power!"Be careful, though, when wearing your Power ...

Aboundeth Irony

 

Word (via Dangerous Minds) that the soundtrack of those "you wouldn't steal a car" anti-download ads is, in fact, pirated.  Somebody owes Dutch composer Melchior Rietveldt a great big bucketful of Euros.
Adding injury to insult to injury, the national royalty collection agency Buma/Stemra demanded a hefty bribe before investigating the matter.   Which demand Rietveldt cheerfully recorded on a hidden microphone.
A bunch of evil exploiters hoist on their own petard.   Eat shrapnel, swine!

Comin' Atcha

So here I am, fresh (and reeking) from my three-day black belt test.I am now a fifth-degree black belt in Kenpo Karate.  One of six in our organization.Score!!!I am in almost too much pain to type this— let's just say my physical resources were thoroughly tested, and leave it at that— but I have to say that I enjoyed myself a lot more than I thought I would.  Thanks to the judging board, Mr Gilbert, Mr Davis, Ms Thibault, Mr Racette, and Mr Keschinger, for making my actual test such a...

Return Engagement

We're experiencing the first big winter storm of the season, with what are quite literally hurricane-force winds.  My neighbor appears to have lost part of his roof.  The 0nly damage we've sustained so far is that the cover to the hot tub tore off, flinging aside the heavy water-filled weights that we'd placed on it to prevent that very thing.The only objects we could find heavy enough to weight the cover down were plastic containers filled with books and manuscripts.   We used strapping...

Taos Toolbox

For all you folks interested in writing SF and fantasy:  the application period for Taos Toolbox begins December 1
Toolbox is a two-week master class taught by myself, Nancy Kress, and special lecturer Daniel Abraham.  It takes place June 10-23, 2012, in the lovely mountain environs of Taos Ski Valley.
For more information, by all means click the link.

Technician Fail

 

So today we had the sixth and seventh Comcast technicians come to restore my broadband Internet.  The sixth dug a trench in my side yard.  The seventh climbed a pole to install some kind of booster.
They really are trying, folks.
In neither case did the fix last more than a few minutes.
My amusement grows ever more wry.

Nebula Awards

You know, every writer— and I imagine most everyone else— has an inner Veruca Salt.  Not the band, though you could have one of those  in your brain too probably,  but the girl in the red dress from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and its various film adaptations, the one who begins every sentence with "I want— !"  She's sort of like the Creature from the Id, only musical.Controlling one's inner Veruca can be trying, especially during— y'know— award season.So when a writer notes that, for e...

Clotted Cream

(Internet service still spotty.  Will try to keep this short.)I was at a friend's birthday party this afternoon, and noticed there was clotted cream.  (The real stuff, too, came from England in a bottle.  Not the American kind which is just whipped cream with some kind of emulsifier in it.)"Look!" I told Kathy.  "There's clotted cream!""Is it good on scones?" she asked.  "I've just got a scone.""It's good on everything," I said. "It's just . . . like . . . bacon!"So what else is just like...

Where's Leonardo?

Off crowdsourcing in Milan, of course.Via boingboing, it's an actual translated to-do list from Leonardo da Vinci.It's interesting that six of the ten items involving asking other people how to do stuff.  Leonardo was interested in inventions, not re-inventions.  If someone else had the answer, he went to that person.Think of what he could have done if he'd been able to crowdsource properly, with the Internet.As for me, what's on my to-do list for this Thanksgiving holiday?Eating a lot of...