Meredith Allard's Blog, page 6

Writing Inspiration: Writing a First Draft Part 5

You Must Make Time For Writing

Every writer I know has a list of well-refined Excuses. But if you are compelled to write your story, then you must write it. You must sit at your computer, or with your notebook and pen, and physically write out the words. It sounds obvious because it is obvious, but after teaching writing for over 20 years I find this to be the part people have the most trouble with.

Many writers I know love to talk about writing. They love to get together with their writing buddies or critique groups and talk–about what they’re writing, what’s going well, what frustrations they’re facing. I have my own writing buddy, and he’s an intelligent, thoughtful sounding board, someone I can bounce ideas off of as I revise my various novels. 

And I know, having both taken and taught them, that writers love to take classes about writing. Writers also love to read books about writing. As I stated in a previous post in this series, there have been a few books that have been Bible-like in the way they’ve helped me through every stage of the writing process. Writing buddies, critique groups, writing classes–these are necessary to the writer’s soul.

Writing is such a solitary activity, and bonding with others of our kind is crucial, both for our success and our sanity. Reading about others who have experienced what we are experiencing is also important. But, after we’re home from our critique groups and our classes, after we’ve put down the writing books, we must sit ourselves down and write.

The first draft is a chore, or at least it is for me. I get myself going with the reminder that without the first draft there are no other drafts.

Do You Have To Write Every Day?

Like everything else, the solution is individual to each writer. Some writers I know create a schedule, a designated block of time each day when they get their writing done. Anne Lamott refers to it as training your brain to kick in creatively at a certain time each day. Some write whenever they get around to it. Others have busy lives and steal time when they can.

Only you can decide when it’s time to write, but when it’s time, you must do it. As many Excuses as we have carefully cultivated, ultimately we must put them away. You have to make the decision: will you spend your time talking, reading, or dreaming about writing, or will you write?

As difficult as first drafts can be, at some point, around the time that sloppy copy is finished, it stops being work and becomes exciting. Fun. As if there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be than sitting in front of the computer making this crazy world I see in my head come to life.

Instead of forcing myself to sit for twenty minutes to punch out 500 words, now I sit at the computer at three in the afternoon and before I know it it’s seven o’clock at night. I’m so immersed in my story I haven’t even noticed as the afternoon slipped into night. The first draft is crucial because once I have my blueprint, I can begin fleshing out the colors, the sounds, the tastes, the smells. I understand my characters better, their motivations, their cadences when they speak. Everything I need to tell the story I want to tell has become focused and vibrant.

At some point, I realize that the story I have before me is what I meant to write all along. That is a glorious feeling when it happens. Despite the difficulty of the first draft, no matter how frustrated I become at times, I’m proud of myself for sticking with it, and in the process I created a world that only could have come from me. And that is why I write, after all.

Writing Inspiration: Writing a First Draft Part 4

Keep the Creator and the Editor Separate

This is an old writers’ adage heard by everyone who has ever taken Creative Writing 101. The funny thing about this adage: it’s true. If you try to edit as you write, or if you’re too critical as you write, you’re going to stifle yourself, and your creativity along with it. In Writing Down the Bones, Natalie Goldberg explains this far better than I ever could. Most of what I’m saying here I’m paraphrasing from her.

Don’t worry about anything when you’re writing your first draft except getting the words out of your head and onto paper. Place one word after another after another for however many days it takes to get that first draft done.

I allow myself complete freedom when writing a first draft. I don’t worry about too much of anything except getting that reasonably sized word count out and into the document. If things don’t make sense, I’ll fix it later. If a conversation is missing, I’ll fix it later. If more backstory is needed, I’ll fix it later. For me, the goal of the first draft is to get it done. Whatever needs revising will be seen to in a later draft.

If I were too critical during the first draft stage, I’d stop writing because I’d be too afraid to write anything down. During the first draft the creator gets free play, which opens up opportunities, ideas, and connections that may not have occurred to me otherwise. I’ve said it before: sometimes the craziest ideas are the ones that work the best. In order to leave myself the freedom to play with the crazy ideas, I need my editor out of my head. The editor will serve her role later, but not now.

When I’m teaching writing I call the first draft a sloppy copy. If you know up front it’s going to be sloppy, then you won’t waste time trying to make it right. If I have a question about what I’m writing, I type the question right into my draft (usually highlighted in bold to differentiate it from the text). If I’m not sure about the spelling of a word, or if I want a different word but can’t think of it in the moment, I put the word I want to change in parentheses like (this) and keep going.

The Mantra of the First Draft: Keep Going

I’m saying “Keep going” to myself as much as anyone else. It’s so easy to put everything else in front of writing a first draft. Like everyone else, I have a hundred things to do every day and it isn’t always easy to find the time to write, or even if I know I have the time, it’s easy enough to find an Excuse to keep me from my desk. I’m currently working on three projects at the same time, which is an interesting challenge. I’m also still researching some information for one of those projects, and if I’m still researching then there’s no reason to work on the first draft. Right?  I was, I admit, relieved, if not a little giddy, at the thought.

But then, when I’m being logical, I know there’s no reason I can’t continue punching out my 500 words a day for the project that is currently in its first draft stage. My first draft is my way of allowing my mind to wander unimpeded through the story, nudging it here, tweaking it there.

As I work through my first draft, I’m gaining a clearer idea how and where I want to fit my research into the story. After that I can move into my favorite part of writing–revising and rewriting–because the hardest part–the first draft–will be over. At least that’s what I tell myself while I’m typing out my 500 words every afternoon. In other words, despite everything else I have to do, I haven’t allowed myself to slack off from writing the first draft. I’m busy, like everyone is busy, but I have to write my 500 words or I’m not happy with myself.

What did I start out talking about again? That’s right–keep the editor and the creator separate. Don’t stifle your creativity in your first draft. Let yourself soar. Allow yourself to discover things about your story and your characters that you never would have imagined without granting yourself the freedom to try.

And keep going.

Writing Inspiration: Writing a First Draft Part 3

Your First Draft Will Need Help

If you accept that your first draft is going to need a crazy amount of rewriting, it frees you up to write, as Natalie Goldberg calls it in Writing Down the Bones, “the worst junk in the world.” If you’ve read Bird By Bird you know that Anne Lamott calls them “shitty first drafts.”

I love Anne Lamott for many reasons, but I love her for making the phrase “shitty first drafts” part of my vernacular. Hemingway also said, “The first draft of anything is shit.”

If you recognize before you even start writing that your first draft is going to stink, then you won’t waste needless time staring at a blank computer screen wondering what to write or worried that it won’t be good enough. It won’t be good enough. You’ll need to do a lot of rewriting. The sooner you embrace the concept of “shitty first drafts” the sooner you’ll get that dreaded first draft over with.

Writing and Deleting

Over time, I’ve also come to accept the fact that I’ll end up trashing most of what I write in my first draft. Today I’m on page 156 of my current first draft. Sounds good, right?

Wrong. Most of what I have will be deleted eventually, sent to that cyberspace void of misused words and half-baked ideas. Why? Because a lot of what I have written is redundant, with the same idea repeated, and repeated, and… 

It takes a few flying leaps for me to say exactly what I mean. I’m still feeling out the common thread, the theme, that will tie the story together. I still have to research the historical aspect because in this new work there are a few elements of history that I need to understand. I always get great ideas from the research, and those ideas will add depth and color to the flat black and white canvas I’m currently painting on. The chapters aren’t in order because quite frankly I haven’t decided on the order. I haven’t settled on a point of view.

I could go on, but I won’t.

Did I Mention I Have a Tendency To Repeat Myself?

The only writer I’ve ever known who said her first drafts came out perfectly was a creative writing instructor I had in grad school. She said, to a cynical and disbelieving class, that everything came out exactly right the first time she wrote it down.

She said she went over her sentences in her head until she had them just right and then, and only then, would she commit her words to paper. Mozart did the same, she said. Some smart-ass in the back of the class (I swear it wasn’t me) pointed out that in fact she did write several drafts, only she did it in her head instead of on paper like the rest of us. She simply smiled at him. What that smile meant, I still don’t know.

All I can say is that the vast majority of us will need to write our first drafts out, as in words on paper, and rewrite those words many times, adding and deleting, adding and deleting again, and again, before we can say we have a perfect, polished final draft.

Writing Inspiration: Writing a First Draft Part 2

Organize your thoughts each day

It’s hard to begin writing anything with only a vague idea of what we want to write. Those empty moments when we’re not sure what we want to say are when self-doubts begin to rise, Excuses invade our minds, and we decide we don’t really need to write today after all.

If we begin each day knowing where we want to start, we can begin with focus, avoiding the Zen concept of “monkey mind” that Natalie Goldberg talks about in Writing Down the Bones.

Create an Outline

One trick I use is to write an outline before I start writing the first draft. For a novel, my outline is a blueprint of what I think will happen in each chapter. Notice I said what I think will happen. As most writers will tell you, once you’ve started writing often the story or the characters will take you in a different direction than you intended.

Those first ideas are simply a tool to get you thinking through your story, a way to get you writing something. If the ideas aren’t coming for me while I’m sitting not so patiently at my computer, then I’ll do a free write, or what my students call a brain dump. A free write is simply that–a brainstorming activity where I’ll write whatever comes to mind about a character, the setting, the theme, or the plot.

There are so many ways to free write. You can handwrite your ideas into a notebook, or if you’re more digitally inclined you can create an online document where you write down your ideas. You can write whatever you want, about the story you’re writing or not. Sometimes writing about something other than your story can help get the creative juices flowing.

Breaking Through the First Draft Blues

Free writing helps me break through the first draft blues. Free writing is exactly what it sounds like—you’re free to write whatever comes to mind. Some writers use a timer, set it for 10, 15, 20 minutes, and either type or handwrite whatever occurs to them during that time. You can write about your historical story or you can write about anything else. The point isn’t what you’re writing—the point is that you’re writing. As Natalie Goldberg says, writing is a physical activity, and writing itself, writing anything, can get the juices flowing. 

Free writing was a great help to me when I was writing Victory Garden and I was completely stumped for the beginning. I knew the ending, as I usually do, but I didn’t know where to start. I tried this beginning and that beginning and nothing was working for me. I became so frustrated I didn’t touch the manuscript for weeks. Finally, one day I started free writing about the women fighting for the vote. I wasn’t writing a scene or anything in particular. I just imagined my main character in a room with other women fighting for the vote and I wrote what I saw. 

As I was free writing I remembered a tidbit from my research, the day when women from the suffrage movement went to the White House to meet President Woodrow Wilson, so I incorporated that into my passage. After a bit of revising and editing, I ended up with what did in fact become the beginning of the novel. The women at the White House scene was even published separately as a short story in a literary journal. From nothing I got a whole lot of something, all from some random free writing where my only intention was to get myself going. 

Using Journal Prompts To Clear the Cobwebs

Sometimes it helps to answer specific questions while you’re gathering your first thoughts about a story. If you’re stumped, here are some questions that may help you. You don’t have to answer any of these questions, or even all of them. Some writers like to know the ending of the story before they begin (me!) and others like to discover the ending organically as they work through the story. Pick and choose the questions that will help clear away the cobwebs.

Brainstorming Questions

1. What is the general topic of the story you want to write?

2. What is the setting of your story?  Where specifically will it take place?

3. Who is your main character? What do you know about your characters so far?

4. Who are your supporting characters?

5. Who is your antagonist?

6. What is the problem your main character(s) will be facing?  

7. How will the problem be resolved?  How will your story end?  What is the last image the reader will take away from your story?

8. What is the theme or deeper meaning of your story?  

9. How does your main character change from the beginning of your story to the end? 

10. How many pages a day will you write?

11. How will you organize your schedule in order to find time to write?

12. How will you deal with writer’s block? 

This last question might seem odd, and it is, but if you have a plan in place when writer’s block hits, and it will, it helps to alleviate the anxiety on those days when you can’t remember how to spell your name.

Anne Lamott’s Short Assignments

I’m a big fan of Anne Lamott’s idea for short assignments. In Bird By Bird, Lamott shares the idea of writing what you can see through a one-inch picture frame—one paragraph where you describe one scene from your story. Short assignments take away the inherent fear that comes with tackling a larger project like a novel or nonfiction book. 

When you think, “I want to write a historical novel about the fall of Rome,” the grandness of the task can be paralyzing. If you say instead, “I’m going to write a paragraph describing Rome burning,” that is doable.

For my first drafts, I have a 500 word a day goal. Five hundred words may not sound like a lot, but it’s enough to move the story forward and not so much that it feels overwhelming. As soon as a first draft feels overwhelming I’ll avoid it with every Excuse I have, and I have plenty of them, I promise you. If the juices are flowing I’ll keep writing. Other times getting to that 500th word feels like root canal. Once I’ve met my 500 words, though, I can feel good because I met my goal. When I’m writing a first draft my main priority is to make progress every day, and 500 words works for me. 

Oscar Collier suggests writing three pages a day, which, if you’re typing on double-spaced pages, works out to about 750 words. Some people give themselves a 1000 word a day goal. Yes, you’ll read articles about people who write 5000, 10000, even 15000 words a day. If that’s you, cool. For the rest of us, short, attainable assignments can make the difference between whether or not our projects get written. 

How Else Can You Organize Your Thoughts?

Other get-yourself-going activities include mind maps, bullet points, or the character sketch we’ll look at in a later chapter. The point now is to gather ideas so you have something to work with when you sit down to write. Sometimes I keep a writing journal where I keep track of everything about my current work in progress that occurs to me. When I’m stumped I pull out my journal and review the ideas I’ve already come up with, and then I’ll use some of those ideas as the basis for my writing that day. 

Don’t skimp on the prewriting. As a long-time writing teacher, I know that a lot of writers want to skip over the prewriting process. But I think you’ll find prewriting time well spent. There are writers who do all right without any prewriting, and that’s great. For me, the more I write, and the longer I teach writing, the more I find that the idea-gathering process makes for an easier first draft.

Where do I begin each day?

Wherever I want. Most days I begin with my chapter blueprint and I type out my ideas for the next scene the best I can. I say the best I can because my first drafts are little more than quick descriptions, bland character interactions, and a ton of banal dialogue.

“Hi! How are you?”

“I’m great! And you?”

“Oh, you know. I’ve got that leaky wart on my big toe…”

I’m not kidding, by the way. My first draft dialogue really is that bad.

For me, the first draft is only a fleshed out outline. As the amazing Terry Pratchett said, “The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”

As I’m writing a first draft I keep pushing forward, one word after another, until I’m finished with the story as I understand it at that time. I give myself few rules while writing first drafts. Writing a first draft is hard enough without following arbitrary rules I’ve set up for the sole purpose of making myself more miserable. As long as I’m producing words that push the story forward, it’s all good.

By the way, you don’t have to outline as you begin your first draft. That’s simply my preference. I know writers who outline, and they do it to keep their thoughts organized, as I do. Others find outlining too stifling, like they’re trapped within the imaginary boundaries they’ve created. They prefer to take a creative leap each day and see where the story carries them.

That’s why I love writing fiction. You don’t have to do anything. There’s no right way. Everything about the first draft is about toying with words, playing with ideas, exploring possibilities.

Explore away.

Writing Inspiration: Writing a First Draft Part 1

A Necessary Part of the Process

Every writer I’ve ever known, and every writer I’ve ever read about, says the same as Hemingway, “The only kind of writing is rewriting.” Writing the first draft is a chore, but we can’t proceed to our second, third, or final draft without it.

Three books that have helped me through all stages of the writing process are Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg, Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott, and How to Write and Sell Your First Novel by Oscar Collier. I’ve read those books so many times that the information they share has intertwined into my DNA (like hair coiling in Avatar). 

As a long-time writing teacher, I believe Nancie Atwell’s book, Lessons That Change Writers, should be the Bible of writing education. I’ve used lessons from that book to teach writing to students as young as 12 and as old as 80.

Many of the tips I have shared with writers over the years come from these books. If you’re a writer, I recommend you read them.

Make Sure You Love What You’re Writing

If you don’t, you probably won’t write it.

I often encounter people who’ve had this great idea for a book for years but they haven’t gotten around to writing it. I tell them that if the idea isn’t pressing them to the point of distraction, then it might not be right for them. I tell them that if they have a nice life, a nice job, a nice family, and don’t feel a burning desire to write that story then they probably won’t. 

Thinking you want to be a writer and writing are two different things. Writing is hard enough when you feel compelled by Fate to do it. It’s even harder, if not impossible, when you don’t have that burning desire. When is it time to write? When it’s more painful not to write something than it is to write it. If an idea is gnawing at you and won’t leave you alone to your nice life with your nice family, that’s when the writing process begins.

For all the projects I’ve completed, many more lay by the wayside. If I wasn’t compelled by what I was writing, then I dropped it. If I can’t convince myself that the project is worth writing, how can I convince a reader that it’s worth reading?

When I began working on Her Dear & Loving Husband in the old-time days of 2009, I was so compelled by James and Sarah’s story that I worked on that first draft nearly every day for one year—367 days to be exact. I may have taken a Sunday off here and there, but even on those days when I wasn’t at the computer it was always on my mind. In that case, I wrote the first draft in six weeks. It was, come to think of it, the easiest first draft I’ve ever written.

Why?

Because I had to write that story. I had to get it out of my head and onto paper. I couldn’t live peacefully with myself if I didn’t.

You need to be honest with yourself here. I know that there are some writers who write book after book and they see writing as a means to an income rather than a creative expression. The idea that you must love what you’re writing isn’t set in stone (but then nothing about writing is set in stone). If you’re writing for business purposes, or academic purposes, then you don’t necessarily have to love it. As an academic writer myself, sometimes the goal is just to get ‘er done.

Writing for business purposes and writing for the love of it are not mutually exclusive. There are many writers who do both at the same time.

I’m made of a different cloth, I guess. I once tried to force myself to write a novel for the sole purpose of appealing to a wider audience. About 10 years ago, I tried writing a romance because I thought, hey, romance sells! I read a few romances, read a book about how to write romances; I got as far as page six and that was it. I couldn’t make myself write any more because it wasn’t in me and I didn’t want to write something inauthentic.

There is nothing wrong with the romance genre, by the way. It’s just not for me. I like to write whatever it is exactly I write–an odd blend of literary and genre fiction. If you write for self-expression, or creativity, or artistry, as I do, then it’s better to love your project. That love will see you through the challenges of writing a first draft in a way nothing else can.

If you do love that story you’re going to write, then you’re on the right track. If the answer is no, that’s okay. Not every idea is meant to be a long-term project.

Keep searching until you find that idea that keeps you up at night, itching to get back to it.

Writing Inspiration: Facing the Fear of First Drafts

No One Likes Writing First Drafts

While I will always love writing in the Loving Husband and Hembry Castle worlds, my creativity has been pulling me in other directions lately. I’ve started the academic research that has been on my mind for some time now, and I’m branching out in my fiction.

I’ve been writing and publishing for more than two decades, and I’ve been feeling the need to make some creative changes.

I currently have a new project that lights me on fire, but that means I am now languishing in first draft hell. You would think that because I’m working on my 15th book that my first draft would be easier this time, but it isn’t. Not even close. 

It’s not like this idea hasn’t had time to percolate. I spent a year daydreaming through this book, but it’s still a chore, putting one word after to the other until I have a complete draft, something to work with, a self-created slab of clay I can mold into the story I see so clearly in my mind.

I Definitely Don’t Like Writing First Drafts

The truth is, I hate writing first drafts of anything—essays, short stories, scholarly articles, novels, e-mails. This post. I have, I’m not embarrassed to admit, rewritten grocery lists because I didn’t like the way I organized them.

When I’m teaching writing I always know what to say to my students to help them deal with first-draft phobias or writer’s block, but do I listen to my own advice? Rarely. At least not until I’m so annoyed I have to remind myself what I already know about writing. Doctor, heal thyself.

Writers Love Excuses Not To Write

I’m still falling victim to old writers’ stand-bys, otherwise known as Excuses. Trust me, it’s not hard to find plenty of Excuses to keep from working. 

These are the days when I dust and vacuum instead of writing, you know, not just regular maintenance house cleaning but the vacuuming-behind-the-sofa-where-people-will-never-see kind of cleaning. The days when I brush my cats instead of writing that first draft, or worse, talk to my cats instead of writing that first draft. There are grocery stores to shop in, movies to see, lunches to do, friends to visit, books to read, research to complete, and classes to teach. 

I’m even going to the gym instead of writing, and I hate going to the gym. At this precise moment, I’m writing this post instead of working on that first draft. The list of Excuses can be endless.

In an attempt to remind myself what I already know about first drafts, I decided to write a few posts about the advice I’ve given to my writing students over nearly two decades to help them rise above such obstacles. The advice has been helpful for my students, and quite frankly, I need the reminding.

Are you like me, languishing before the computer screen, pulling your own hair, looking for ways to get that first draft done?

I’m beginning a new series called “How To Write a First Draft.” Whether you are a new writer or someone like me who has been writing for decades, I hope you will find some useful information. The first draft posts are coming soon.

Happy Holidays: Christmas Eve at Hembry Castle

I hope everyone has been having a joyous holiday season. I love this time of year with the multi-colored twinkle lights, the Christmas movies, and the holiday spirit everywhere. I’ve been enjoying a quiet Hanukkah, and I’m looking forward to a restful Winter Holiday, which can’t begin soon enough.

As I’ve been enjoying my peppermint hot chocolates and winter blend teas, I thought I’d share one of my favorite chapters from Christmas at Hembry Castle, perfectly entitled “Christmas Eve at Hembry Castle.”

Happy holidays and a peaceful new year to everyone.

~Meredith

* * * * *

Downstairs at Hembry Castle was all a bustle as it had been for weeks. Poor Mrs. Graham was dusted from her cap to her boots in thick white flour. The powder ingrained itself in every hair, every line on her face, every flourish on her apron, every crevice on the folds of her work dress. No matter how many times a day she washed, ten minutes later she was once again covered in chalky white. If it wasn’t “Pies!” it was “Cakes!” and if it wasn’t “Cakes!” it was “Puddings!” and if it wasn’t “Puddings!” it was “Pies!” 

Everyone with flexible limbs who was not of the family or their guests was put to constant use throughout the day and night of Christmas Eve. This maid was needed to fix this green velvet holiday dress with the white fur collar, adjusting the bustle just so. That footman was needed to carry this gentleman’s brown leather hunting bag to the stables. A constant hum of rushed footsteps carrying potato balls and Father Christmas shortbread and ham rolls and chestnut stuffing and roast turkey and “Pies!” of every variety could be heard up and down the stairs.  The rhythmic stamping of dancing and skipping around the tree echoed in the kitchen. Footmen carried silver bowls of hot punch, mulled wine, and Madeira eggnog, so many bowls that the servants wondered how much are they drinking up there? Quite a lot from the boisterous laughter, the barely restrained shouting, and the off-key carol singing.  The servants knew they would have their time to celebrate soon enough, with plenty of food, drink, music, poems, bon-bons, carol singing, and dancing of their own. 

Mrs. Ellis smiled while directing traffic. She couldn’t help herself. The holidays were her favorite time of year no matter the headache of seeing a hundred things done at once. She looked toward the door of the servants’ entrance and remembered the previous Christmas. Last year that door had been left open to the cold and the snow, as it would certainly be again this year. The younger servants loved to slide down the snowy mound  behind the courtyard, screaming with eggnog-induced laughter. She remembered the flush of red excitement on Edward’s face as he and Lady Daphne spent the day dancing and exchanging presents. Is that the day they fell in love, Mrs. Ellis wondered? She had a feeling it had started before then, but she was certain that was the day they both knew what was happening. 

Oh! She would wring her grandson’s neck, that stubborn mule of a boy, that is, if she ever saw him again. He wouldn’t talk to her, or Lady Daphne, or even the Earl of Staton. But what she would say to him as soon as he showed his face again! And why was that harebrained boy hiding anyway? He was acting like he had to confess to being the Rugeley Poisoner. Yes, he had been let go from Fergusonandwately, but Mrs. Ellis didn’t see that as being such a terrible thing. They had taken advantage of her Neddie, she was certain of it, paying him a pittance when his stories were so very popular. Was Edward even still in London? Mrs. Ellis didn’t know. She thought of Lady Daphne upstairs, a smile on her lips, a sadness in her eyes, and wished it were last year again. 

Upstairs, Lady Daphne, her father, the Earl of Staton, and her grandmother, the Countess of Staton, were the epitome of good English hosts. While hundreds of guests filed into the castle, bringing brisk, cold air and dropping fresh, slippery snow onto the rugs in the front hall, the family presided over the festivities with a genteel decorum that would be expected of Lord Staton’s family. During the daylight hours there was hunting for the gentlemen and any ladies who wished to accompany them. For the ladies and some gentlemen who were not inclined to blood sport, which included Lord Staton and Lady Daphne, there were plenty of games of charades and line dances and carol singing to keep everyone merry on Christmas Eve. 

After the sky grew dark and the hunters were home from the hills, Hembry Castle was all alight. The gaslight sconces were turned on bright while tapered candles added warmth to every nook and crevice. The postmaster’s wife, Mrs. Ebberts, regaled everyone with lively Christmas carols  on the piano, accompanied by her daughter, Miss Ebberts, who did her best to sing along. The mother and daughter duo were the very picture of the holiday season in their red toile dresses with red fur sleeves and small white riding hats, which they insisted on wearing indoors. The fires were kept low since the guests, the rum punch, the singing, and the line dances brought their own heat. 

Daphne chatted with Miss Ebberts, wishing to thank the youngish woman for her gracious holiday entertainments. Miss Ebberts was beside herself speaking to Lady Daphne Meriwether. At the fifth “Oh dear! I can’t believe I’m talking to you, my lady. I’m all afluttered!” Daphne smiled, thanked Miss Ebberts once again, then excused herself. She walked into the wide central room where guests danced the Queen’s Waltz. Two couples put their right hands in, traveled forward, put their left hands in, traveled forward. Daphne watched as they skipped and peeled. Last Christmas she and Edward had danced the day away together. They were so happy. What had happened? Daphne didn’t know. At the moment she would settle for a simple conversation with him. She had decided that the engagement was definitely off. She hadn’t admitted it yet, not out loud, not to anyone, not even to her father who had always been her most trusted of confidants. 

Of course, he had guessed, Papa. He had asked her several times, “When is Edward coming to celebrate Christmas with us?” or “Why haven’t you set a wedding date? Are you and Edward having problems between you, Daphne?” And Daphne would insist no, absolutely not, never. Edward and I love each other. Edward and I are getting married. Her father would nod, his eyes small because he understood what she wouldn’t say. But since she had not confided in him, he would not intrude. It’s better this way, Daphne thought. Papa has enough troubles of his own. He wants to fix everything for everyone, which is one of the many reasons I love him so. 

Daphne passed the gilded mirror on the wall in the drawing room where the titled guests gathered to toast each other’s health again and again. She caught a glimpse of herself, her hair adorned with green lace ribbons and stacked high on her head, her festive dress made especially for this day, deep green velvet adorned with white rosettes, the back tapering to her bustle and falling in ripples to the top of her white boots. When she had the dress made she thought she and Edward might marry sometime this Christmas season. She had thought so many things. 

Yes, her heart was broken, but her heart had been broken before. When her mother died, and then her grandfather, she was shattered every which way, but she mended, and she survived. Although the pain of Edward’s loss was physical, as if she were poked by knives, she would survive this too. For now, she must smile. She must smile and chat and watch others enjoy the delicious bites that Mrs. Graham had prepared. As Daphne turned to leave she nodded at the woman who caught her eye, some Lady Whatever dripping in rubies and emeralds, but Daphne escaped before having to speak to anyone. 

Free from the prying eyes of the titled whoevers, Daphne headed upstairs for a few moments of peace. She stopped at the sound of a woman singing “Silent Night.” This wasn’t one of Miss Ebberts’ well intentioned attempts, but rather something plaintive and ultimately beautiful. Who was singing? Daphne didn’t know. She only knew that the high pitched dulcet tones filled her with deep longing. 

Silent night, holy night

All is calm, all is bright

Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child

Holy infant so tender and mild

Sleep in heavenly peace

Sleep in heavenly peace

Daphne dabbed her eyes with the back of her hand. She turned toward the staircase and saw Mr. Ellis supervising the footmen as they delivered platters with food and drink. Daphne steeled herself. The Ellises were Edward’s grandparents and they were employed by her father. She would continue to see them all day, every day, until they retired.  They were good people, the Ellises. She loved having them around, and certainly Hembry Castle could never function without them. When Mr. Ellis saw her, he nodded, once, but there was much feeling in the gesture. It took every ounce of strength Daphne had to hold her anguish inside until she escaped into the sanctuary of her bedroom. 

It wasn’t dark this Christmas Eve, not yet. The sun was only beginning to set and the sky blushed pink and white as the delicate snowflakes fell, leaving soft pillows on the ground. The holiday revelries inside Hembry Castle grew more raucous the later the time grew. Several guests left for other celebrations. For some, the number of festivities they attended were a badge of honor. Others were quite happy to continue the holiday entertainments in the hallowed halls of Hembry Castle. 

It was a dangerous hour for ghosts to be about, this in-between time, but he was a ghost on a mission. The snow fell faster, leaving a fresh white blanket weighing down the bare-branched trees, stretching across the grounds, covering the very castle itself in pristine radiance. The ghost, immune to the icy air, numb as he was, lingered near the servants’ courtyard, close but not so close. He was near enough to see the younger servants dancing to an out of tune violin playing “Ding Dong, Merrily on High” while others slipped and slid down the snowy embankment. The servants were so caught up in their merrymaking they weren’t likely to notice him. He was an unobtrusive ghost, after all. But he couldn’t take a chance that he might be seen. He stepped behind the wall of the courtyard and waited. 

“So?” he heard from the other side of the wall.

“So?” 

“Are you ready?”

“This is the moment I’ve been waiting for,” the ghost said. “I’m ready.”

The hours passed. The night grew later and darker and the grounds grew whiter. It would be rude to yawn in front of his guests, so Frederick, Lord Staton, helped himself to some hot water and the last scoop of darjeeling at the side table where guests had been feasting on small dishes of quails eggs, truffle potatoes, fried smelts, roast turkey, and of course Mrs. Graham’s delicious pies. He could never get enough of them. He wasn’t hungry himself, Frederick, but he enjoyed watching his guests savor every delectable dish. Mrs. Graham had worked so very hard, after all. He sipped his tea, but instead of a burst of energy he felt lethargic until the sight of a fresh snowfall brightened him. He had always loved the snow in winter, and especially he had always loved Christmas at Hembry Castle. Yes, this year was different when last year had been so joyful. But this too shall pass, Frederick thought. Everything, both good and bad, changes with time and we must make the best of it, good and bad. We learn what we need to learn from each experience, good and bad, and we carry on, doing the best we can at every turn. 

Frederick stared through the window at the deepening gray haze coming down from the north, which meant the snow was likely to continue until morning. He startled when a loud “Your lordship!” came from behind. He turned to see Mrs. Ellis pressing a silver tray with a letter in his direction.

“Excuse me, my lord. I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“You’re not disturbing me, Mrs. Ellis. Not at all.”

“I’m afraid you were looking rather contemplative.”

Soft heels of a genteel country dance echoed into the room.

“I’m not certain one can be contemplative on such a day.” Frederick nodded at the silver tray. “Are you the butler here now?” 

“Mr. Ellis is busy downstairs so I told him you wouldn’t mind if I brought this. It seemed urgent.” 

She pressed the tray closer to Frederick. He sighed, but he took the letter and the opener, sliced the envelope, and read the contents.  He read once, read twice, read a third time just to be certain, then slid the letter back into the envelope and into his breast pocket. 

“Who sent this?” he asked. 

“I couldn’t say, my lord. I was told it was left outside the door, and as you can see the envelope is addressed to you.”

Mrs. Ellis waited while he took the letter from his pocket to read once more. 

“I’m afraid I must leave at once, Mrs. Ellis.” 

“But it’s Christmas Eve, your lordship. Your guests are here.”

“They’re so busy they won’t notice if I nip out for a bit.” 

Frederick glanced around to be certain that indeed his guests would not notice his temporary absence. When no one seemed to pay him the slightest attention he disappeared upstairs to change and consider his next steps.

Mrs. Ellis was about to return downstairs to see if Mrs. Graham was still conscious. The housekeeper was stopped by an inquisitive stare from her husband, who had appeared as if out of the air, as he so often did. 

“Where is his lordship going on Christmas Eve?” Mr. Ellis asked.

“I’m sure I don’t know. It seemed important, though.”

“Should I ask why you brought him that letter instead of me?”

“No, Mr. Ellis. You shouldn’t.”

“Very well.” Again, the inquisitive stare, this time over the top of his spectacles. “This is highly unusual, I must say. His lordship would never leave his guests at his own Christmas Eve celebration.”

“I’m sure it was nothing more than some complaint from her ladyship, who is currently holding state in the drawing room, her ear trumpet pressed to the side of her head as she listens to the gossip from Lady Someone.”

Mr. Ellis nearly laughed aloud but caught himself. Mrs. Ellis shooed her husband away. 

“Go on. There’s still so much to see to for the rest of the night.” 

Mr. Ellis nodded, gave his wife one more hard stare, and moved on.

The Hembry Castle Box Set On Sale Now

Happy Autumn, Everyone!

It took a little longer to cool down in Las Vegas this year. Even as I write this it’s about 70 degrees Fahrenheit outside, though at least it’s cool enough for the trees to begin to turn their reds, rusts, and yellows, which I look forward to seeing every year.

It has also been cool enough for me to begin baking again. I find that baking is a seasonal activity here in Southern Nevada where it gets so hot during the summer. I’ve found a new favorite pumpkin recipe: pumpkin cake in a mug (with chocolate chips, of course). It takes less than ten minutes to throw together, and it cooks in the microwave.

And Shadows Will Fall Update

For those of you looking for an And Shadows Will Fall update, I’m now looking forward to a Spring 2024 release. Some stories take longer to come to life, and And Shadows Will Fall is one of them. The pieces now fit nicely together, and I have a suspicion that James and Sarah fans will be pleasantly surprised. I’ll have more to say about that in the new year. I’ll be sure to let everyone know when the review copies for ASWF become available.

I’m Thankful This Holiday

As we head toward the Thanksgiving holiday in the U.S. next week, I wanted to say how grateful I am for the readers all over the world who continue to contact me about my stories, especially the Loving Husband Series. It is beyond my imaginings that after more than a decade, James and Sarah continue to find new fans.

The Hembry Castle Box Set is On Sale

I wanted to say thank you to my readers this holiday season by sharing the Hembry Castle Chronicles, both books, for 99 cents. If you enjoy Victorian era sweet romance, with a little Downton Abbey upstairs/downstairs storylines, and some mystery thrown in, I think you’ll enjoy the books. If you like lighthearted Christmas stories, then Christmas at Hembry Castle is definitely for you.

The box set is on sale until 12/31/23. If you’d like to know more about the box set, you can read more here.

I wish all of my American friends a Happy Thanksgiving. May the autumn holiday be everything you wish it to be.

Historical Recipe From Colonial America: Indian Pudding

John Wentworth’s Favorite Food

Fans of Her Dear & Loving Husband know that when James Wentworth married Elizabeth Jones in December 1691, one of the foods James’ father John insisted on was Indian Pudding. As John tells Elizabeth, “You cannot end a meal without Indian Pudding.”

What Is Indian Pudding?

If you’re not familiar with the term, you may know it better as Hasty Pudding, a simple dish from England of wheat flour boiled with milk or water until it had a custard-like texture.

According to “From the Kitchen” by Jan Longone, “We do know that the techniques used in making Indian or Hasty Puddings are age-old; gruels, pottages, porridges, frumenties, and puddings were made from the earliest times.”

In the American colonies, where European settlers learned about corn from Native Americans, cornmeal substituted for the flour. Early settlers called cornmeal “Indian flour.” Thus, Indian Pudding was born. Longone continues, “We also know that specific pudding recipes very similar to those for Indian Pudding appear in Early English cookbooks, but these use wheat flour, rye flour…in place of the corn meal. Further, there are records that various Indian tribes and civilizations in the New World were making some form of corn meal gruel or pudding, of times sweetened with honey or native berries.”

John Winthrop, Jr., son of the first governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, wrote to the Royal Society in London in 1662 to say this about Indian Pudding:

…this is to be boyled or Stued with a gentle fire, till it be tender, of a fitt consistence, as of Rice so boyled, into which Milke, or butter be put either with Sugar or without it, it is a food very pleasant…but it must be observed that it be very well boyled, the longer the better, some will let it be stuing the whole day: after it is Cold it groweth thicker, and it commonly Eaten by mixing a good Quantity of Milke amongst it…

In 1672, John Josselyn said this about Indian Pudding:

It is light of digestion, and the English make a kind of Loblolly of it to eat with Milk, which they call Sampe; they beat it in a Morter, and shift the flower out of it; the remainder they call Hominey, which they put into a Pot of two or three Gallons, with Water, and boyl it upon a gently Fire till it be like a Hasty Puden; thye put of this into Milk and so eat it.

Since the Wentworths are wealthy (John is a successful merchant), they season their Indian Pudding with any spices they wish. Those less financially fortunate would have eaten the cornmeal boiled in water or milk without any adornments.

Making Indian Pudding

While I’m busy working on And Shadows Will Fall, I wanted to try some of the dishes the Wentworths would have eaten in the Massachusetts Bay Colony in the late 17th century. I remembered John Wentworth’s fondness for Indian Pudding and decided to try my hand at this old but much-beloved recipe.

As always, I use modern appliances and ingredients. For me, the point isn’t to cook the way they used to cook. I don’t see myself standing over an open hearth moving burning coals around with a shovel while pushing my heavy skirts back so they don’t catch fire. For me, the point is to taste the flavors from the past, and this was a chance for me to try John Wentworth’s favorite dish.

How To Make Indian Pudding

I looked at several Indian Pudding recipes, and each was a little different. Some used different spices, some used cream instead of milk, and there were other changes as well. I chose this recipe from The Old Farmer’s Almanac for the basis for my Indian Pudding.

Ingredients

4 cups whole milk

1/2 cup cornmeal

1/2 cup molasses

1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/4 stick of butter, softened

2 large eggs, beaten

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons sugar

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

Everything I used to make the Indian PuddingDirections:

Making the Indian Pudding was surprisingly easy.

Butter a 2-quart casserole dishBring milk to a simmer. I used a heavy pot and kept the stove on a low flame until the milk started to simmer and bubbles formed along the edges. Keep stirring and be careful not to let the milk burn. Burned milk will not allow for the tastiest Indian Pudding. Add the cornmeal to the milk and keep whisking until the cornmeal is smooth.Add the molasses and keep stirring until it is completely incorporated. Remove from the heat and add brown sugar, butter, eggs, salt, sugar, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Whisk until smooth. On a personal note, whenever I see amounts for spices like cinnamon or nutmeg, I usually add more. I guess my tastebuds like stronger spices, but the amounts listed in other people’s recipes are usually not enough for me. That’s why I love baking. I can do it the way I like. If you prefer less of a strong spice flavor, stick to the amounts listed. Pour the mixture into the buttered casserole dish and bake in a preheated 300 degree Fahrenheit oven for 2 to 2 1/2 hours depending on how hot your oven cooks. My oven cooks pretty hot so it was done in two hours. Ready to add the cornmeal to the simmering milk.With brown sugar, butter, beaten eggs, salt, sugar, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg.After I whisked all the ingredients together.It took two hours for the dark top and custard to form.Ready to eat! You could add whipped cream, ice cream, or some traditional milk, but I thought it was fine on its own.

When the pudding has browned on top and has a custard or pudding-like texture, it’s done.

I have to say I really liked the Indian Pudding. It tastes like autumn, and it has all the wonderful flavors I gravitate toward this time of year: cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. I saw recipes that added pumpkin, and if you’re a fan of cooking with pumpkin as I am, then I think that would be a great addition to this recipe.

It tastes the way you would expect it to taste: corn custard sweetened with molasses with the spices making the custard even better. I love baking with molasses, but if you’re not a fan you will probably not like Indian Pudding. The butter causes the bottom to caramelize, which is always an added bonus.

I could see myself making this again. In fact, it would make a great Thanksgiving side dish or dessert. This is a sweet and not a savory, so it would do better as a dessert in my opinion.

Now that I have tasted my own Indian Pudding, I can say along with John Wentworth, “You cannot end a meal without Indian Pudding.”

Enjoy!

References

Boeckmann, Catherine. “Indian Pudding.” The Old Farmer’s Almanac. https://www.almanac.com/recipe/indian.... Accessed 9 October 2023.

Josselyn, John. New England Rarities Discovered. London, 1672.

Longone, Jan. “From the Kitchen.” The American Magazine and Historical Chronicle, Volume 2, No. 1, Spring-Summer, 1986.

What’s Cooking America. “Indian Pudding–Hasty Pudding Recipe and History.” https://whatscookingamerica.net/histo.... Accessed 8 October 2023.

Winthrop, Jr., John. “Letter To the Royal Society in London.” New England Quarterly, Volume X, No. 1, p. 121-133, 1937.

Historical Recipes: Indian Pudding

John Wentworth’s Favorite Food

Fans of Her Dear & Loving Husband know that when James Wentworth married Elizabeth Jones in December 1691, one of the foods James’ father John insisted on was Indian Pudding. As John tells Elizabeth, “You cannot end a meal without Indian Pudding.”

What Is Indian Pudding?

If you’re not familiar with the term, you may know it better as Hasty Pudding, a simple dish from England of wheat flour boiled with milk or water until it had a custard-like texture.

According to “From the Kitchen” by Jan Longone, “We do know that the techniques used in making Indian or Hasty Puddings are age-old; gruels, pottages, porridges, frumenties, and puddings were made from the earliest times.”

In the American colonies, where European settlers learned about corn from Native Americans, cornmeal substituted for the flour. Early settlers called cornmeal “Indian flour.” Thus, Indian Pudding was born. Longone continues, “We also know that specific pudding recipes very similar to those for Indian Pudding appear in Early English cookbooks, but these use wheat flour, rye flour…in place of the corn meal. Further, there are records that various Indian tribes and civilizations in the New World were making some form of corn meal gruel or pudding, of times sweetened with honey or native berries.”

John Winthrop, Jr., son of the first governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony, wrote to the Royal Society in London in 1662 to say this about Indian Pudding:

…this is to be boyled or Stued with a gentle fire, till it be tender, of a fitt consistence, as of Rice so boyled, into which Milke, or butter be put either with Sugar or without it, it is a food very pleasant…but it must be observed that it be very well boyled, the longer the better, some will let it be stuing the whole day: after it is Cold it groweth thicker, and it commonly Eaten by mixing a good Quantity of Milke amongst it…

In 1672, John Josselyn said this about Indian Pudding:

It is light of digestion, and the English make a kind of Loblolly of it to eat with Milk, which they call Sampe; they beat it in a Morter, and shift the flower out of it; the remainder they call Hominey, which they put into a Pot of two or three Gallons, with Water, and boyl it upon a gently Fire till it be like a Hasty Puden; thye put of this into Milk and so eat it.

Since the Wentworths are wealthy (John is a successful merchant), they season their Indian Pudding with any spices they wish. Those less financially fortunate would have eaten the cornmeal boiled in water or milk without any adornments.

Making Indian Pudding

While I’m busy working on And Shadows Will Fall, I wanted to try some of the dishes the Wentworths would have eaten in the Massachusetts Bay Colony in the late 17th century. I remembered John Wentworth’s fondness for Indian Pudding and decided to try my hand at this old but much-beloved recipe.

As always, I use modern appliances and ingredients. For me, the point isn’t to cook the way they used to cook. I don’t see myself standing over an open hearth moving burning coals around with a shovel while pushing my heavy skirts back so they don’t catch fire. For me, the point is to taste the flavors from the past, and this was a chance for me to try John Wentworth’s favorite dish.

How To Make Indian Pudding

I looked at several Indian Pudding recipes, and each was a little different. Some used different spices, some used cream instead of milk, and there were other changes as well. I chose this recipe from The Old Farmer’s Almanac for the basis for my Indian Pudding.

Ingredients

4 cups whole milk

1/2 cup cornmeal

1/2 cup molasses

1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/4 stick of butter, softened

2 large eggs, beaten

1 teaspoon salt

2 teaspoons sugar

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

Everything I used to make the Indian PuddingDirections:

Making the Indian Pudding was surprisingly easy.

Butter a 2-quart casserole dishBring milk to a simmer. I used a heavy pot and kept the stove on a low flame until the milk started to simmer and bubbles formed along the edges. Keep stirring and be careful not to let the milk burn. Burned milk will not allow for the tastiest Indian Pudding. Add the cornmeal to the milk and keep whisking until the cornmeal is smooth.Add the molasses and keep stirring until it is completely incorporated. Remove from the heat and add brown sugar, butter, eggs, salt, sugar, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Whisk until smooth. On a personal note, whenever I see amounts for spices like cinnamon or nutmeg, I usually add more. I guess my tastebuds like stronger spices, but the amounts listed in other people’s recipes are usually not enough for me. That’s why I love baking. I can do it the way I like. If you prefer less of a strong spice flavor, stick to the amounts listed. Pour the mixture into the buttered casserole dish and bake in a preheated 300 degree Fahrenheit oven for 2 to 2 1/2 hours depending on how hot your oven cooks. My oven cooks pretty hot so it was done in two hours. Ready to add the cornmeal to the simmering milk.With brown sugar, butter, beaten eggs, salt, sugar, ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg.After I whisked all the ingredients together.It took two hours for the dark top and custard to form.Ready to eat! You could add whipped cream, ice cream, or some traditional milk, but I thought it was fine on its own.

When the pudding has browned on top and has a custard or pudding-like texture, it’s done.

I have to say I really liked the Indian Pudding. It tastes like autumn, and it has all the wonderful flavors I gravitate toward this time of year: cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. I saw recipes that added pumpkin, and if you’re a fan of cooking with pumpkin as I am, then I think that would be a great addition to this recipe.

It tastes the way you would expect it to taste: corn custard sweetened with molasses with the spices making the custard even better. I love baking with molasses, but if you’re not a fan you will probably not like Indian Pudding. The butter causes the bottom to caramelize, which is always an added bonus.

I could see myself making this again. In fact, it would make a great Thanksgiving side dish or dessert. This is a sweet and not a savory, so it would do better as a dessert in my opinion.

Now that I have tasted my own Indian Pudding, I can say along with John Wentworth, “You cannot end a meal without Indian Pudding.”

Enjoy!

References

Boeckmann, Catherine. “Indian Pudding.” The Old Farmer’s Almanac. https://www.almanac.com/recipe/indian.... Accessed 9 October 2023.

Josselyn, John. New England Rarities Discovered. London, 1672.

Longone, Jan. “From the Kitchen.” The American Magazine and Historical Chronicle, Volume 2, No. 1, Spring-Summer, 1986.

What’s Cooking America. “Indian Pudding–Hasty Pudding Recipe and History.” https://whatscookingamerica.net/histo.... Accessed 8 October 2023.

Winthrop, Jr., John. “Letter To the Royal Society in London.” New England Quarterly, Volume X, No. 1, p. 121-133, 1937.