C.S. Daley's Blog, page 9

London At Last

Several years ago Sheri and I had decided we wanted to go to London. The plan died a fiery death when we couldn't afford the plane tickets. We tried again the following year and were in the heavy planning stage. We looked for hotels and different areas of the U.K. we wanted to see. That plan flamed out also.

I was trying to plan a trip in April to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary when the thought popped into my head,"Why not London?" We only have a week in April but I couldn't get away from the idea that we are always talking and never doing. Then a stoke of luck happened and an audit of our school district found a whole lot of "misplaced mone," we haven't had a raise in over four years and I think the district was quite embarrassed they had been sitting on a large chunk of change. They decided to pay it out as a one time bonus. Suddenly I had money I wasn't expecting. I did what any rational person would do. I bought 2 plane tickets to London.

Then began the search for a place to stay. I scoured the hotels and wasn't really finding anything which floated my boat. We decided to do what we always do when we go to Maui. We rented an apartment instead. Even there we had several heart breaks and close calls. We found a really nice place in central London. The owners agreed to a price we could live with and then proceeded to ignore my every question and email. This did not give me a warm fuzzy so we backed out. We settled on a nice apartment down by the Thames River in Chelsea. It was a little farther from the middle but a short walk to the Sloan underground and we will be in the thick of it. Plus, I will get to jog in Hyde Park and along the river.

Now we are well and truly into the planning. We have only a week so we want to make it count. The thing is Sheri and I like to travel a little chaoticly. So we will probably just make a list of the things we want to see and then go wherever we feel like going on a particular day. We did buy a few theater tickets. We are going to see Ghost, Matilda, and Zach Braf's new play, All New People.

We are stoked and can't wait to get there. I have already had several of my Twitter friends talk about meeting up with us and I can't wait to meet them. Sheri and I love exploring cities. When I was in London last time I was just a young college kid who really didn't have a clue. This time will be a blast. Now, we just have to watch the calendar until April 6th. It's going to be a long two month.

Editing Burn Out

Alright it is time to come clean. I burned myself out again. Way too many candles going at the same time. After the completion of Incarnators I had finished back to back novels with no breaks. It has really bogged my editing down. You throw in the fact I was a little lost in my everyday life and you have a deadly combo.

This has been a tough year at work for me. I have a lot of mean kids in my class. They are all perfectly lovely to me but taking every opportunity to slam a shiv in their friends and classmates back. It has really taken a lot out of me, including a little of the joy I normally feel about teaching. It also has not been going particulary well at my school this year with teachers. The climate is bad and I seem to be one of those people everyone likes to tell their problems to. It has been wearing me to a nub.

Throw in my disappointing weight gain over the last two years and my life was waiting for a match to spark the inferno. I think I am through the worst of it. I have tried to avoid all adult contact at work. Which, truthfully, is the way I like it. Even as an adult I seem to not like a lot of teachers. The irony of me being a teacher has never been lost on me or Sheri. I have gone back to doing what I am best at, teaching kids. Now, if I can just find a way to un-mean some of my students. What I wouldn't give for a nice pill (which I must admit I would slip into a few of my colleagues drinks).

As for the weight gain I have reversed the course. I am not quite back to where I was but I am in striking distance. I have to lose only 2 more inches. This week I will hit my 90th straight day of at least one hour of exercise. I am eating better than I ever have in my life and my blood pressure has clocked in at a startling 114/76.

Which leaves only one last thing to get back in order. It is time to finish editing. I have readers who are waiting for the third book and I feel bad for leaving them out there hanging. I feel good and I can tell my brain is back where it should be. So it shouldn't take long. Plus, I have a ghost story that can't wait to be written. The one piece of good news is that I got a lot of reading done to rejuice my brain. I have read about 25 books in December and January. It felt good to be reading like my old self. My writers hat is on and I will keep you updated weekly until everything is done. Thanks for being patient as I got my house back in order.

The Agony of Defeat

As George Martin likes to say after the NY Giants lose, life is meaningless. I remember as a kid watching The Wide World of Sports and watching the skier wipe out as the announcer talked about the agony of defeat. For sports fans this is so true. Things can be so good at one moment and then a complete disaster in the next. It happens that quick.

Tonight almost all the 49ers did enough to win. 49ers rookie Kyle Williams did not. Single handily costing them the game. Two fumbles ten points and the game is over. Williams will now get to go down in sports lore as the 49ers Bill Buckner. I feel bad for the kid, I really do. It takes a special kind of person to come back from this kind of devastation and I truly hope he can do it. It will be a long off-season for him.

In the meantime, I get to feel crappy just like the rest of the 49ers. Today could have been a glorious redemption for a team which has had a rough decade. Instead, they get to think about what might have been. It is why I love sports. I mean right now I feel terrible but tomorrow I get to bask in the glorious year the 49ers had.

And then it all starts over again. Like an endless loop of pain and passion. Sadly for me, I will get a few months off now. Pro basketball holds little interests for me these days. I will twitter my thumbs until the San Francisco Giants take the field and then it all starts over again. This is good, just not for my stress levels.

Alex Smith More Than A Manager

I am a big football fan and when I say big I mean geeky big. When I was ten years old I can remember having an argument with the man who lived next door about why Ray Guy was the most important player on the Raiders. I then overwhelmed him with stats about Guy's ability to pin opposing teams inside the 20. My fasination with stats was clearly born out of my love for sports. My cousins took great joy in teasing me about my encyclopedic knowledge of my favorite teams (that and my always trying to harass them into going and playing some football).

Growing up I was a 49er and Raiders fan. I know lots of people who only rooted for one or the other but I lived all over the Bay Area. I figured why limit the joy. Those were amazing days. Both teams were great (that is until the Raiders moved to LA then I had to hate them). Some of my best childhood memories involved sports. Sitting in my brother's apartment watching the 49ers – Dallas playoff game in '81. He had a tiny little TV sitting on his kitchen table. When Dwight Clark made that catch I think I may have died a little.

One of the best things about sports is the stories that form around big moments. When the Giants won the World Series 2 years ago their whole team was full of stories of players getting a second chance. Of people rising above any previous moments in their careers. I love how sports gives us heroes and villians. Gives us stories of redemption and joy. Allows us to have a few moments away from the world which can sometimes bog us down.

I was a huge Jim Plunket fan as a child. He captivated me. His parents' story. His early failures and criticism he received for not living up to being a number one draft pick. I loved how the Raiders rallied around him and stole a Super Bowl away from the Eagles. I think this is why I love Alex Smith so much. Sports can be mean and Alex Smith has taken a shit load of crap over the years. People justify their nastiness with excuses about how much money he makes or where he was drafted. I have never cared about the money. I would rather the players make it then the owners. How much money you make doesn't mean you deserve to be treated nasty.

I know Alex Smith hasn't lived up to the expectations others had for him. He often gets compared to Aaron Rogers. If only we had taken Rogers. Well, let me tell you. I know football. Aaron Rogers would have failed in San Francisco. Football success is in a large part about the people you play with and the coaches who coach you. The 49ers have been a carasol of bad coaching decisions. Now we have gotten it right but amazingly Smith who used to receive a large part of the blame seems to get very little of the credit outside of the Bay Area.

For goodness sakes, the Tim Tebow circus was crazy. Tebow has been more terrible than good and yet has become a golden boy. Every time the 49ers needed Smith to go to the air to win a game he did. He orchestrated 5 "come from behind" wins this year. He won games with clutch passes. Then there was Sunday. In what might have been the greatest end to a football game I have ever seen, Smith was brilliant. Today as I looked through papers and read about the weekend it was still all about Manning and Brady. People predicting the 49ers might win against the Giants because of their defense. In spite of Smith. One sports writer actually predicting if the 49ers made the Super Bowl they would get blown out by New England because they don't have a great quarterback.

I love it. I love underdogs the best. I will openly say I am an Alex Smith fan. I like him as a person. I think he is an excellent leader and a great teammate. I like how his team has rallied around him. He reminds me of Jim Plunkett a lot. I don't care if they don't make the Super Bowl. I think we are witnessing the start of something big here. I will tell you this though. I think they are going. Not just going but winning. I am a fan what can I tell you. If they do I hope everyone remembers when it is over, Alex Smith will have as many Super Bowl titles as Aaron Rogers. Now wouldn't that be a great story.

Kindle In The Classroom

I recently read an article in the New York Times about teachers in Idaho resisting their states push of technology into their classrooms. A lot of the article made it seem like once again teachers were afraid of being replaced by a computer and/or losing money to technology which could have been spent on salaries. I would love to be paid more but being paid more doesn't mean shorting our students in the classroom.

Teachers will not be replaced in the classroom for a long time still. However, technology used correctly needs to happen now. As someone who has worked in a school district which has wasted money on technology I understand some people's fears. This doesn't change the fact that our students live in a vastly different world. They understand technology and thrive in its use. We can't keep pretending we can shove the old way of learning down their throats.

I love technology and embrace using it in my room. I am a slightly above average math teacher. My true gift is language arts, in particular getting reluctant readers to read. I have sought out math lessons in the internet when I have struggled to teach a concept to my class. If someone out there knows how to do it better than I would be doing a disservice to my students not to seek it out.

Recently, I got into an argument with someone over using the Amazon Kindle in my classroom. They bemoaned the loss of actual books. Thought it was a shame students were reading on an electronic device. To which I replied, "hogwash!" Books are the delivery of words into a student's imagination. How they are delivered there, makes no difference. My classroom Kindle is so popular the waiting list is silly long. My students like it so much they have raised the money to buy a second one. We have also convinced the school to buy us 5 more.

When I say my students, I mean all of my students. I have never found a better way to get a reluctant reader into a book. Do you know how hard it is to get a far below grade level 6th grader to read? One of the main reasons is shame. They don't want anyone to know they are reading a 3rd grade book. They would rather act defiant or claim a dislike of reading. This just isn't the case with Kindle. No one knows what you are reading. I have several reluctant readers who have devoured books on the Kindle. They have both already jumped a grade level and moved into harder books. You can't get better if you don't practice.

When it comes to reading this has been my most successful class ever. This is really saying a lot because I really am good at putting kids into books. Kids are begging to read this year. The coolness and anoymonity of the Kindle have a lot to do with this. I am glad my school has trusted me to pilot more Kindles. I would buy a class set if I could. Technology is only as good as the way you use it. For me e-readers (in this case Kindles) have been technological gold.

Shame On You, Mr. President

I have taken a long sabbatical away from writing about politics. I had gotten to a point where everything was just driving me insane thinking about it. With my weight gain, my blood pressure was way up and I was sure I was about to blow a gasket at any point. Well, now that the weight is coming off and the blood pressure has dropped to a nice lovely number (120/76) I figure I can chance dipping my toe into it with out worrying about looking like a rejected extra from the Scanners movie.

For those of you who are relatively new to my blog, a brief explanation of my political views. I think there are three kinds of politicians. Those who I remain neutral towards. Those who I dislike a lot and those who I think should be assigned to the 7th level of Dante's Inferno. To be honest the third option is where I place most of the blowhards.

I have been relatively neutral on President Obama. He hasn't been anything special. He certainly hasn't been the greatest thing since sliced bread, which is what the demopublicans promised he would be. He's done some things I liked. Some I didn't and some that made me wonder if he had taken his grouchy pills before getting out of bed. Nothing which had caused a raging mad on. I remained indifferent to his general existence.

Until last week that is. Last week he signed the NDAA (National Defense Authorization Act) into law after threatening to veto it. He did this while saying he had "serious reservations." I guess this was supposed to make us think, "Gee, this guy really cares." And by really cares I mean he is willing to look the other way like some Pontious Pilate as congress (and him) strip away personal freedoms.

The law allows the United States to detain without charges or a trial people who they deem as a threat to our national interest. And by detain I mean keep indefinately in whatever hole we want to drop them down. These people do not have to be captured in an armed conflict (which is against international law by the way). We can just pluck them right off the street. No charges or trial people. We don't have to prove a damn thing. Which, as far as I am concerned, makes us no better than any other country we critizie for human rights violations.

Now, I know some of you are sitting around wondering why you should care. I get it. Our country has done a great job keeping you afraid. The terrorist boogeyman hiding in the closet is way spooky. How is this for scary. The law has no geographic limitations. This means they can snatch up a US citizen off of US soil and hide them away forever. No charges, no trial, no problem.

Our idiot politicians wring their hands and say they would never do that but they already have at least once (that we know of under President Bush). You can bet your first born child if the law allows them to and they want to, they will. No question about it.

This is a shameful law and should have been vetoed in its current form. It tramples all over our personal freedoms and takes another step closer into becoming the type of government we say we hate. We have forgotten that every time we take away a personal freedom. Every time we act like a bully and a tolitarian because we are afraid of what terrorist might do. We have let them win. We have let other countries and other people (nasty and evil people) dictate who we are. We become what they have been trying to convince the world we are.

Shame on you Mr. President. You had a chance to be bold. You had a chance to stand up for all people. Instead you were just another coward. Bowing to political pressure. Proving what I always feared, you're just another bozo in a suit. You don't have to worry about your daughter getting snatched up because you are not another plebeian like the rest of us anymore. I want to feel safe but not at the cost of what makes our country great.

My Brain is a Jumble

My brain tends to be all over the place. A big jumble of thoughts and ideas. I have to work really hard to keep my concentration and focus on the tasks which I have set out for myself. Right now I have only two big ones which need to get done. I have to finish editing the Last Dark Lands book and I have to get fit.

The healthy part of the equation is coming along but I need to get in gear on my novel. What I have come to realize over the last few weeks is I was completely frayed and fried because of work. My day job had been tearing me a new one this year. The sad part is it isn't the teaching part, it's the assistant principal part. I am going to seriously have to reevaluate doing it next year. I love teaching but the stress of helping my principal out is killing me. Especially this year where it seems I am being called upon at a phenomenal rate. I was basically in charge for two weeks straight. It doesn't help that I am getting dollars on the day which makes the stress not feel worth it.

It has left me tired and all over the place. I really have used the last two weeks to get my brain back in the right place. I feel I have done that. Now it is time to get busy. I am not a big New Year's resolution guy. I have goals I have set out to accomplish this year and I will get them done or face the wrath of my kittens (they have very high expectations for me).

First up is get the last Dark Lands book edited by the end of January. Next, will be the rewrite and edit of Keepers. Then, I will write my rock and roll ghost story. I have been chomping at the bit to write it (in fact, I spent a lot of the last two weeks working through the plot). I want to get my blog a little more regular over the next few months and of course I have to get back into my favorite pants and shirt (hopefully by somewhere around the end of February).

So my gentle readers tune in later this week for writing updates and a political blog which will surely get me in trouble. I have a whole new year to annoy and entertain. Follow me if you dare. Which you should by the way. I after all posted kitten pictures with this blog. Hard to look scary with kitten pictures.

The Biggest Loser

I know I have been writing about my weight loss a lot lately. I hope it hasn't been incredibly boring for my regular readers. The truth is I just do better when I hold myself accountable. Writing about it and sharing my struggles makes me stay the course when I am sometimes at my lowest. I have struggled with weight all of my life. I have had moments of incredible fitness and absolute horrific weight gain. Finding a balance has been easily the hardest thing I have ever done.

Interestingly this last year as I felt myself start to spiral and watch the weight come back on I was able to stop myself before it got out of hand. I heard myself saying the same old things. My back hurts, my knees hurt, I get migraines, blah, blah, blah. It isn't that these problems are not real and don't get in the way but I have to overcome them. I cannot let them define me. I have a real and genuine fear of dying young. My father died young, my grandfather died young, both my uncles died young, my sister died when she was twenty-one (although through no fault of her own. Cancer is a beast. The men all lived unhealthy lives).

I am not going to say there isn't some vanity. When I am fit I look good. I feel good. It isn't the driving force. Health is and I must keep it at the forefront. I don't know when I am going to die but I am not going to help it along with high blood pressure, weight problems, and unhealthy living. I stopped the slide this year with a simple thought, "I am writing two novels a year. I can find a way to exercise."

Lately, Sheri and I have been completely hooked on the Biggest Loser. I have never gotten that big but the show has been an eye opener. These are people who have lost complete control of their weight. People who literally could drop over dead at any moment if they don't get the weight off. It has been inspiring to watch them. The show is heart breaking sometimes and I have found myself crying on more than one occasion. I have heard several people talk about the same demons haunting their life which have haunted mine. I have watched some truly miraculous weight loss.

It has really kept me motivated. How can I make excuses when those people are going through hell. So I don't. Today was the 54th straight day of at least an hour exercise. Yesterday, I finally fit into a pair of pants which signified my second to last goal. All I have left is the pants I wore when I was at my fittest. I have geeky shirts I bought in the size I wanted to be, not the size I was. Soon I will be in them too. I can't tell you how awesome it was to get into the new pair of pants yesterday. I am almost there. It may take me 54 more days but I will get there. In the meantime, Sheri and I are working our way through all the seasons of The Biggest Loser (I have started doing all of my elliptical workouts when we watch. I kill myself with them during the last chance workouts). This is it for me. I will never put myself through this again. My choice is to be healthy. I have a lot of novels still to write.

Principal Not

In my school district we have this wacky thing called teacher in charge. This is code for putting some idiot in charge of the school when the principal is out. At my school I am that idiot. This is like putting the Joker in charge of Arkham Asylum. I really don't know how I became the go to guy for helping out the principal. Truth be told, most of the time I am a very anti-social teacher. I don't really fit into the culture of my school. It is very conservative with a nice edge of we want students to fit nicely into this little box we have for them.

I am more of the let your freak flag fly type of teacher. I don't want you to fit into a box. I want you to show me who you are. I want to get to know you and appreciate what you bring to the table. This makes it difficult to be the teacher in charge. I am constantly getting students sent to me that I know the teacher has written off for one reason or another.

These last two weeks have been hard on me. We have a new principal and a bunch of trainings, meetings, and deadlines that crushed her all at the same time. This has left me principal for 7.5 out of the last 10 days. During that time we have had numerous student melt downs, a few teachers melt downs, and a campus lock down as police searched for an escaped fugitive (the helicopter circling overhead was really fun).

I basically do the job as a favor. I don't get paid all that much for doing it. Nowhere near the work I put into it. These last two weeks I was mostly in my class, only leaving when I was needed. My sub (who was great) would take over during those times. I have really been thinking about giving it up. The thing is I like the chance to interact with students who are not mine. Even if they are being sent to me because they are in trouble.

The most common thing I heard over the last two weeks is "when are you going to be a principal for real?" to which my reply has been, never. I am not built for the job. It is too hard for me not to tell teachers what I am thinking when they send a kid to me for having a purple streak in their hair. Way too hard for me not to react when I see teachers treat students with no respect. I wouldn't be able to sweat the small stuff. I wouldn't be diplomatic enough. I have no patience for anything which doesn't make a student's school life better.

There are a lot of brilliant teachers and parents at my school. The ones who are not would drive me to insanity. It isn't worth it. I will continue to teach. Continue to enjoy meeting new and varied students every year. I will leave the principal work for those more and less capable. I may not be normal. Sometimes I question my sanity but even I am not crazy enough to do that job.

The Scale Is My Friend

Today I did the dreaded thing. I got on a scale. I have been putting it off for a lot of different reasons but I admit one of them was fear. I figured now was as good a time as any. I have now exercised for at least an hour for 41 straight days. I am noticably skinnier but not where I want to be yet. I took my blood pressure for the first time this week and it was high. I knew this meant my weight would be also.

I admit I was hoping for a slightly better number from the scale today. I was angry and disappointed to see I still had 26 pounds to lose (this is an estimate since I am mainly basing my goal on fitting into my good pants again). I shudder to think of what the scale might have said 41 days ago. I never want to do this again but I know I said that last time and here we are again.

It's funny how it happens too. How easy it is to lie to yourself. I lost a lot of weight and it was really hard. I have a bad back and I am prone to migraines when I over exercise. Losing weight is an extreme sport for me but I did it a few years ago. I looked good, I felt great, I was healthy. Then I hurt myself again and the slow slide to here happened. I stopped exercising. I gained weight and then I stopped weighing myself. A great recipe for disaster.

There is some vanity in this. I want to look good for myself and for Sheri. It isn't the driving force though. When I am exercising I am fine. The weight stays off but more importantly my blood pressure is good. My family has a long history of men dying young. I need to be healthy. I need to be smart. I have been neither.

So now I have stepped on the scale. I know what I have to do and I will. I have already lost 3 inches off my waist. I need to lose 3 more. Then I need to keep them off. Sheri and I have talked a lot about this and we are both on board. This has to be a lifestyle change. Eat healthy and live healthy. It is going to require a mental change. Enjoy food but always be aware. Stop making excuses and never avoid the scale again. The scale is my friend (I have been repeating this a lot today). I know the scale doesn't give the full picture of a healthy person but it is a good early warning system. Now, all I have to do is take off 3 more inches and drop my blood pressure. A much easier goal then selling a few of my books.