M.E. Purfield's Blog, page 5

Pooped

Some how I was able to squeeze in a little work on The Collection today while M was home. A nice chunk. At this point half of the stories have been previously published or edited to death, so I’m just checking for typos or last minute grammar tweaks.

I still don’t know what to call it or when I’ll release it. It will be during the summer and it will be a crime collection.

The rest of the day I hung out with M and tried to keep her from pulling one of the cat’s tail…again. The damn cat doesn’t run away. I think she likes it.

M hasn’t gotten into the phase in a good long time. Maybe it’s been 8 months. Or a year. She’s so full of energy that she’s obviously ready to go back to school. But we’ll see how she is tomorrow.

Other than that my day has been uneventful unless cooking, cleaning, wiping butts, and picking people up with the car sounds exiting.

I’m pooped.

[image error]Photo by Fabricio Trujillo on Pexels.com

Little Seen and Hugely Disliked

No work today.

Ordered a proof of Bawling Sugar Soul which finally came through.

Last year someone was publishing the samples of the novels under my name on Kindle. I put a stop to it but Amazon red flagged my novels so that when I later revised the works they asked for proof of ownership. It must have carried over to the paperbacks since Amazon owns the company.

Funny thing was that I sent the email stating my proof of ownership and three says later I called to find out why it hasn’t changed. On kindle it took 24 hours. They said it takes 3-5 business days. The guy on the phone said he will expedite my letter and it should clear by the end of the day. Nope. Took two more days. So yeah, it took 5 days total.

Then it was supposed to take 24 hours for the proof to get approved.

Nope. 48 hours.

Anyway.

Last night I rewatched Joe Dante’s The Hole. It’s one of his little seen films later in his career. I like it. A PG-13 horror with kids who find a hole in the basement of the house that releases the darkness inside themselves. Not too many people like it. I don’t know why.

Yeah, it’s not designed like contemporary films today. It doesn’t look like the Bloomhouse or Michael Bay produced horror films. Maybe that’s why I like it. It has practical FX and subtle jump scares. Humor with the kids that only Dante can pull off. Also like the last reel. The design of the other world, use of Expressionism.

M was burning up today. Took her to the doctor to find out she has strep. I’ll have her home with me tomorrow so I’ll expect not to have anything done.

Went to writing group late in the day. Received some good feed back for some tweeking on the pages I submitting from Cities That Eat Islands. Hopefully I gave some workable advice back. They said I did but the proof is when they sit at the keyboard.

Started reading Gilliam on Gilliam. Always good to read up on your heroes and what makes them tick.

[image error]

Passing Out All Over The Place

Lots of computer work today. Think I finalized the store files. If anyone wants to snag cheaper versions of my work they can do so in the THE STORE.

Just have to work on the copy a bit. Then I’ll finish uploading the files to major retail outlets where people can pay a higher price.

Watched Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 last night and fell asleep after an hour. Not out of boredom. Just tired. Still a good movie. It keeps the pacing and style of part one that Clive set up but brings it up just the right notch. After part three the series goes downhill.

Wife took me out for lunch and drinks today for my birthday, which is not until Tuesday. But since we can’t go out on a weekday with the kids and schedule. We pigged out on nachos, exotic burgers, and sangrias.

Hopefully I shouldn’t pass out in the middle of another movie tonight.

[image error]Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Recognizable Voice

Computer work today. Revised my YA files. Half way done.

Got me thinking of writing YA again. Straight YA without any crime or weirdness. In a way, I did with the sequel to Jesus Freakz earlier this year. Not a big seller right now but that’s okay.

I still play around with the genre in short story form with sci-fi, stuff that when I have enough I’ll collect. I suppose I can squeeze in a novel or two if I wanted. It would be fun to write a novel but I don’t know if it would be marketable for me since my Miki stuff makes the money. Maybe down the line between Miki and Tenebrous projects.

Watched Hollow Triumph. A nice little noir about a released criminal with a college education who hides out from the mob that he just ripped off by stealing the identity of a psychologist that he looks exactly alike. Joan Bennett plays the psychologist’s secretary. Of course she’s wonderful in it. Way different than in Fritz Lang’s Scarlet Street. For those into horror she was the school master in Argento’s Suspiria. Her voice is very recognizable.

Another gas station closed. Have to travel all the way to Kennedy to get gas now. Not too far just annoying.

Apparently bullies have severe brain damage. Situation is more annoying than threatening. Onto phase three.

 

[image error]

Always Trust Your Agent, Not

Little revising on Cities That Eat Islands and I’m done. Started this draft at 80,000 words. After cutting, pasting, and writing, I’m left with a 83,500 word novel.

I’m happy with it. It’s a good part one to a trilogy. I’m geared up for part two, which I hope to start in September when the kids go back to school. Maybe if all goes well I can start in August.

As usual, part two is big in my head and I have many directions like I did with the first one but since I never work with an outline and I just write as I go based on cause and affect…

I’ll just try to keep my head blank on plot for the next few months and write my ideas down in the little green book as I get them.

Snuck some computer work in.

Read an interesting blog post from Chuck Palahniuk one of the authors ripped off from the major and prestigious literary agencies out there today. Always trust the great old agent as they say. You poor writers.

Watched the 3rd part of Arthur. I enjoyed it. Fairly complex plot for a family movie. Good edition to my Besson collection.

Free speech is at war again. Both sides are in battle. I think. I don’t know. Everyone has an agenda. Everyone wants to control someone. What do I know.

[image error]Photo by JESHOOTS.com on Pexels.com

 

Weird and Oppressive

More revisions on Cities That Eat Islands. Tomorrow I should be done.

Started watching Part 2 of Luc Besson’s Arthur and the Invisibles. Part 1 was pretty good, which I saw earlier this year. Part leads right into part 3 so I have that to look forward to tomorrow. So far I’m enjoying the mix of live action and animation. It plays like a family version of his other films (Fifth Element or Valarian). A lot of funny lines and stints.

D’s bully situation is somewhat getting better. Although they are not to be in contact with each other, the little monster is talking behind his back and gathering others against him.

I did some research and found out that indeed (as he brags to the girls to score cool points) he is related to a local author by the name of L. Skurnick in Jersey City. Classy. Hopefully, his father who met with school officials today, will make a difference. If not then off to the Bully Councilor. And if that doesn’t work, to the Devil herself.

The internet is still ablaze about what is racism and the Barr tweet and using it to get The View off of ABC. Although I could care less past my artistic disappointment, I just think that biological hate is a much stronger offence than ideological hate. And racist jokes from blacks to whites are funny and okay since, hey, they only been free since the 60s. They have the right to blow off a little steam and we are weird and oppressive.

Anyway. It’s been a bit confusing for me and making people really angry or really mediocre.

Hopefully it will die down soon.

But probably not.

[image error]

Neuro Typical Fantasy

Wrote a few hundred pages for Cities That Eat Islands this morning. To flesh out a minor character and give the closing a bit of a pay off.

While walking around and doing errands I met Kiko who was panhandling at the drug store in front of the court house. Got to talking about movies and the theatres around Journal Square. Nice guy with some history.

Watched Cry Murder. Supposed to humorous, even funny. I didn’t find it very funny but some of the dialog was snappy. When it turned tense it caught my interest. At least the final act paid off.

Autistics have a problem with taking certain speech literally. Or slang.

For a lame example:

“Oh, it’s raining cats and dogs outside.”

We’ll go look out the window to see the cats and dogs.

Or maybe we need some direct instructions and not so vague.

“Now class. Take out the book and we’ll start the lesson.”

Teacher looks at kid with closed book on desk. “Thomas, I said open your book so we can start the lesson.”

Thomas “No you didn’t.”

“Thomas, don’t give me trouble today.”

But what I always noticed is that Neuro Typicals have a severe case of taking fantasy very literal to the case of insanity. Video games and horror movies influence violence in children. Song in lyrics are calls to violence or rape.

Always negative.

Really. I’m going to listen to The Ramones’ Beat on the Brat and go out and beat on the brat with a base ball bat. (I don’t need a song to do that) Or I’m going to watch a slasher film and kill people. Or I’m going to read the Bible and make people live life to my standards. Oh wait, scratch that last one. Bad example.

Granted, there are probably other psychological reasons going on for this. My diagnosis is stupidity.

Do autistics fall for such ridiculousness stated above? Not that I have ever seen. Yeah, we are into their favorite shows, movies, and cosplays. Some really want to be cops and firemen. We might dress up. But I don’t think we are so deep into that fantasy world were we lose touch with reality but we take the morals of that world and incorporate them into our reality.

Example: Do good. Help others. Fight evil, etc. Shit, even I have my own fantasy world and morals taken from books and television shows from when I was a kid. That’s the best part about being autistic.

Maybe because we don’t socialize well and the mediums of fantasy are the perfect companions. A movie is short and direct. We can start it over and stop it or rewind to a certain part. A book we can work on over time or read through in one sitting. A television show we can look forward to every week like a visiting friend. We can learn to talk through the mediums, learn about life, learn art, and magic. Learn to laugh and cry and feel. They are the perfect teacher and friend.

But many NTs see fantasy as a negative most of the time. Harmful to children or even people they consider mentally inferior. Like reality is so much fun. Is it? Is it really? Or does misery just love company?

[image error]Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

 

 

 

The Long Post and the Threat of Regression

FRIDAY

Kids had a half a day so the teachers can leave early from work and prepare for their three day week end. Damn the unions. So I managed to complete a little computer work.

Not able to get much done with BOTH kids home.

Watched Michael Mann’s Manhunter. Been a while since I’ve seen it. A slick minimalistic forensic crime noir. It’s a fine slow burn with great performances from William Petersen and Dennis Farina who you don’t see anymore, sadly. Tom Noonan and Brian Cox were wonderfully psychotic in different ways. What little time Joan Allen had she made a strong impression on the film.

SATURDAY

Did a lot more computer work. Some frustration between linking up the store with the website. HTML bullshit that I have to figure out. Be creative and work around it.

My daughter, M, spent some time with my wife’s Aunt Fuck and mother today while we went to the mall. Aunt Fuck was training M to say her name on her cell phone video so she could sent it to her friends and post it on Facebook. Now sometimes my daughter is repeating “My Name Is M”.

She’s going to be five in a few months. She’s broken out of echolalia. She’s top of her class and surpassing her goals in private ABA and in school. She has a strong chance to be in a mixed class in 3rd grade. Speech is her slight weakness. She should be working on her sentences, voicing what she wants. Communicating her needs. She already knows her name, the names of her family members and her pets.

I feel this aunt is regressing my daughter’s hard work. Also feels like Aunt Fuck is using her like a child pornographer in front of our faces. Giving her commands, making her do it over and over, making sure she looks at the camera. Treating her like a thing. Like she’s a retards, brainless.

But that’s how she talks to everyone. Yes, I hate Aunt Fuck. I’m going to have to ban her from my daughter again. Sigh.

Watched Michael Gornick’s Creepshow 2. This is the new Arrow edition, which looks stunning. This film has grown on me every time I rewatched it. We met Mike Gornick a few times at cons. He’s a nice, generous, and approachable guy. He started off as a Director of Photography for George Romero in the first half of his career. It’s a fun film but doesn’t surpass part 1.

SUNDAY

More computer work today. Boring, blah, blah, back ache, blah.

Helped D with his essay for school. Research.

Because of above had to skip writing group today. *sad face*

Watched Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive. It’s his second film. Funny. This film lives up to the reputation of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It’s bloody, violent, and intense and it’s all on the screen, unlike the other film, which was going for a PG rating or just shadowed out from the lack of lighting or budget. Pure Hooper insanity driven by performances from Neville Brand, Robert Finley, Marilyn Burns, Mel Ferrer, and Robert Englund.

MONDAY

Started last round of edits for Cities That Eat Islands. Thank God, no computer work.

No school for the kids since it was a holiday. We didn’t get invited to any parties. Great!

Helped D with his essay again.

Sorry for such a long post. Wanted to do an autism post too but will save it for tomorrow.

[image error]

They Always Get What’s Coming To Them

Finished this week’s editing goal for Cities That Eat Islands. Next week is the last week on the novel.

Snuck some computer work on the store.

Celebrated my 15 year wedding anniversary with Neen. Were supposed to go to FM at Noon but turned out they didn’t open until 1PM. Considering the time limit with the kids getting out from school, we went to Barcade instead. The food was good. We had a nice time as you can see from the pictures on the right.

Been rereading Hardshell AKA Night Visions 4. A collection with Dean Koontz, Edward Bryant, and Robert McCammon. An oldy from 1987. Still pretty good. The Koontz stories are in his traditional form, but the last one is different; first person and spiritual. Perfect for short story experimentation.

Son and I got some great news from school. His teacher is getting heart surgery. He should be out for a while. I’m hoping the rest of the year. I’m shocked. I didn’t think he had a heart. Yeah, he loves his highest grade students to the point where he acts like a pedophile but that’s not the same thing.

Oh, and speaking of sick fucks getting what they deserve.

Officials: Weinstein to surrender in sexual misconduct probe

So yeah, let’s home this guy finally gets what’s coming to him too.

[image error]

 

Don’t You Have A Filter?

More work on Cities that Eat Islands.

Submitted cover to designer for paperback version Bawling Sugar Soul.

D was home sick today. Helped him with his essay. A ridiculous subject. A hard one. Finding common ground between the Europeans, the Native Americans, and the African Americans in 1492. Gonna need some creative writing for this one.

So I have a habit of dragging people out of their comfort zones. I’m not just talking about with my books or on the internet where I fall into arguments with dunderheads. In real life too. See, when people say:

“Yeah, you’re a big man hiding behind your keyboard. But in real life you wouldn’t say those things.”

Well, yeah. I do say those things. I’ve had a life time of people telling me:

“You’re so crazy.”

“You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Don’t you have a filter?”

“What is wrong with you?”

And on and on.

No, I’m not crazy. I’m autistic. And maybe that means I don’t have a filter and that I’m rude or crazy…to those people. Maybe it means that I tell the truth without holding back. Maybe I want to be part of the conversation and don’t know the right way to break into it so I just verbally belly flop into it. It really depends on the situation.

Most of my life it has gotten me in a lot of trouble. I’ve been beaten in the face, kicked in the spine, kept from getting a promotion at Metlife, gotten in disagreements with co-workers, lost friends in person and on the internet, and fought with in-laws.

But it has benefits aside from my art. I have run into people that don’t react that way. They do take me seriously, accept me when I speak. And when I’m being funny, like unfiltered funny, they laugh. Like my wife and kids and my one or two friends that I manage not to scare away.

It’s hard. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t talk in public much. Making friends is difficult, especially with white people. Usually I have to hang out with a person a few times before I feel comfortable in front of them.

Then there are those people where you get that safe feeling from. They smile at you, they radiate acceptance. I appreciate those.

Personally I don’t mind moving out of my comfort zone. I love watching movies that threaten me, move me. People with ideas and imagination. Shift my thinking and perspective a bit. After all, as humans we have to change. It’s as obvious as our skin.

So why resist that autistic person who is pulling you from your safe place? Embrace them. If they are giving you a view outside the box, take a look. If they are telling you a joke that might be off color, go ahead and laugh. Consider them living art.

I get that society has these invisible laws and you might go to invisible jail if you break them where they will stare at you with invisible lasers filled with invisible shame. But if one resists change they suffer.

Life is short.

What do you have to lose living life set by dead people’s standards except for things you can’t see?

[image error]Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com