C.J. Sinclair's Blog, page 2

How Are You?

In my opinion, a very innocent or maybe not so very innocent form of inquiry.

I absolutely hate to answer that question because I quite frankly think that it has to be the most loaded question in the history of humanity.

It just gives me that feeling and I could almost believe that I am not a lone with this one.

Let me try and explain myself a little and maybe even delve into the inner workings of my mind from the moment the so-called innocent inquiry is made up until a response is supplied.

The moment someone begins a conversation with that greeting, I feel like the pressure is on to come up with an impressive or at least a good enough response to quench the other individual's desire to snoop around my life.

I might come across as a bit sarcastic (okay very sarcastic) in my opinion of this and that just happens to be a result of the various forms in which this greeting seems to be used in modern day interactions.

If you think about it, the English were ingenious in this regard that they came up with a greeting that supplied absolutely nothing useful about your goings-on, but managed to exude civility towards another individual.

And to imagine that all that genius lies in the simple phrase of "How Do You Do?"--simply amazing.

Let us face it, I have and I believe many others have noticed that in today's world, a lot of people do not even respond to the greeting.

Wouldn't that call for greater use of the ingenious greeting?

In any case, the majority of the people we meet are not even in the slightest bit interested in hearing all the facts about your life.

So then why continue with all the superficiality, why not just make it plainly known with the greeting "How Do You Do?".

Deep down in my dark sarcastic corner, I think that the reason this continues is more towards engaging in a twisted game of life comparison in which the winner gets to see just how pathetic things are on the other side of the fence.

I am so sorry to say this, but I find it hard to take that greeting innocently, so much so that I either dodge it or give the "very well and you" response with a bright smile that secretly says, 'I dare you to cross the line...".


What are your honest thoughts on--How are you?


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline

Is Kindness Obsolete?

I found myself thinking today of just how sad it is that acts of kindness have been relegated (for the most part) to tragic incidents.

Why is it that we have somehow grown accustomed to painting kindness as a type of weakness? If you even think of it, the "okay scenario" in which we are "allowed" to showcase this trait is one in which we are allowed to show vulnerability.

Could it be then that the reason behind this misguided labeling lies in the fact that we have completely redefined kindness as vulnerability?

If anything, I have found that practicing kindness is a hard task. It takes a lot more courage and will power to show kindness as opposed to lashing out at somebody with hateful words. A lot of times, an act of kindness can even be ignored or rebuffed.

Overtime, I have certainly come to believe that whenever God commands something (in this case Ephesians 4:32), it is never easy nor possible by your own might.

This is especially more apparent in a world where assertiveness rules.

I am amazed by just how far one can go with the so-called claims of the benefits of assertiveness.

I have witnessed this in restaurants where someone will speak rudely to a waiter just so as to prove the effectiveness of being assertive in public.

I certainly believe that there is an appropriate place for assertiveness, but have you noticed that this mislabeling of kindness as a weakness has led to a surge in arrogance and so-called claims of assertiveness?

Do you know what is really sad about this whole thing?

I believe that we were intended to respond to kindness and assuring words. The lack of kindness among us just seems to dehumanise us and renders our societies almost intolerable.

I am afraid my frustration has shone through this post and I only took the liberty to say that because I believe that I am not the only one who thinks that kindness should not be relegated to rare occasions. In any case, a lack of it seems to "legitimise" the rise of camouflaged rudeness in the assertiveness movements in our societies.

So the next time you are tempted to "practice being more assertive", take a moment and ask yourself whether you are not really just angry and taking advantage of the situation to be rude.


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline

An Ode to Rain

While looking out my window today, I could not help but be reminded of just how much I absolutely love rain.

There is something about rain that just simply fascinates me.

Now, my love affair with rain could very well be proof of the rainmaking claims of my ancestors.

My ancestors are said to have been very good at their job of rainmaking, so much so that the legend still apparently holds true down through the generations.

As for me, I was even literelly named rain. You see according to my tradition, a child is names based on the circumstances surrounding one's birth. I am told that right after I was born, it rained cats and dogs after what had been quite a dry spell in the land.

Interestingly enough, ever since then every important occasion in my life has been headlined by you guessed it--rain.

So, perhaps one could even say it flows in my veins.

Regardless of what the evidence may or may not state; I do know one thing for a fact, and that is that rain has a way of calming and soothing my soul. I like to think of it as proof that a fresh start is in the making.

You need only look out after it has rained to see just how vibrant and fresh the trees and the grass look after a good down pour.

If you think of it, it is almost like as if with every downpour the earth undergoes a cleansing ritual of sorts.

At least I like to think of it that way.

Above all, rain represents to me God's blessings, by way of the bountiful harvest it promises in its wake.


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline

Inspiration

How exactly is someone supposed to go about finding inspiration in a less than exciting setting?

All the advice that I have gathered over the years come to mind; but let us face it, it takes a lot more than some words of advice to get that inspiration in action.

There has to be a certain degree of personal resolve to find it regardless of what things look like in the natural.

It calls for an amazing amount of faith to see the brighter side of whatever situation or setting one finds oneself in.

It also calls for determination to plough through the storm, regardless of how insane and ridiculous it may look to the rest of the world.

Then there is the matter of clinging to hope in the face of it all.

I could not think of a better way to summarise this than in these notable words:

*"If you do not hope, you will not win that which is not hoped for, since it is unattainable and inaccessible."
-Eraclito


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline


*Of all places, I found this amazing piece of inspiration enclosed with a new favourite chocolate of mine.

The Thin Line Between Intolerance and Tolerance

When I was watching a programme today, the host read a critical piece from a renown Newspaper on a speech the guest had recently made.

From the wording of the article, one would not have guessed that the "intolerant" individual was the recipient of such childish and at times insulting criticism.

The hostility with which the guest's speech was met was completely different from the respectful assessment that the guest presented during his speech.

I was actually quite astounded not only by the fact that a respected Newspaper would publish this, but more so by the fact that the contributor is highly regarded in certain circles.

Using the words "stupid man..., shut up..."; among others; was really all you got in that article. It read more like an argument between a rebellious teenager and his parents as opposed to a "well-written" article by a respected individual in society.

I think what really amazed me the most was the fact that the hostile and let us face it childish wording was the face of the intelligent opposition towards the apparently intolerant recipient.

How does one get grouped among those labelled intolerant? What does it mean to be intolerant in society today? Does intolerance mean one taking a firm stand for their personal beliefs? If so, who is tolerant then?


I Bid You Shalom,



Jacqueline

Thy Neighbour's Keeper

With all that has been going on in the US, it has been especially interesting to me to hear all this talk about neighbourliness.

The basic premise of these discussions have been--Who Is Your Neighbour?

For obvious reasons, the main emphasis has been on how alienated the modern day society has become.

One can very easily live on the same street for a decade and have no clue about not only what one's neighbour's names are, but also who they are. It is so quick to judge the neighbours of those who have made headlines for some of the most heinous crimes the world has witnessed, but aren't we all to blame.

We seem to have created an atmosphere which encourages isolation in the pretext of privacy. I know for a fact that I cannot tell you who all my neighbours are and I live on a cul-de-sac. Now that is a huge shame. When you think about my situation, there is no excuse whatsoever.

So what is it that prevents us from getting to know our neighbours?

They are humans just like us (even though to be honest with you, in my case, some of our guests at the cul-de-sac have been deer). Some "experts" (I honestly doubt that such a thing exists. I think that you are termed an expert because you managed to express your view to a wide audience. That is just my opinion. It is all about how far you are able to cast your net) have raised fear and even ignorance as major reasons why people have drifted away from getting to really know their neighbours.

I guess I could understand that if we are talking about people of completely different cultural backgrounds, but what happens when they are individuals with far more commonalities? What exactly drives us to get to know each other and why is it that that may not apply in our neighbourhoods?

My answer to this is quite simple.

I think that it all started with competition over picket fences, then cars and before you knew it, it mushroomed into self-centredness. This in time has bred a lack for love for one another. We seem to view each other through a competitive lens. Now I cannot completely rule out fear and ignorance, given my argument, because if you really think about it, those are necessary ingredients for self-centredness to flourish.

So there it is, with all the talk going on, I think that it is really important to start by directing these questions towards ourselves. I think that it is about time that we asked ourselves how we view society before we can understand the societal changes we are witnessing.


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline

The Deep End

Lately, it seems like as if every where I look people are talking about diving into the deep.

Taking that next step into the unknown sounds both frightening and exciting. When you think of it from a logical point of view, it requires one to have enough faith in something with no visible proof of a positive outcome.

I don't doubt the fact that faith is an important aspect of life. My only concern is the focus to proceed with that next move in the face of extreme uncertainty and worse still a lot of close naysayers.

Simply making the decision to make that next move is not enough. One has to also keep one's eyes focused on something to prevent oneself from falling when ugly uncertainties rear their heads.

In the midst of all this talk, one should really emphasise need to keep one's eyes focused on Christ.

Simply stating that someone should make the next step of faith without clarifying that key component is almost useless.

I find that one's greatest source of fortitude is Christ and therein lies the key to diving into the deep.


I Bid You Shalom,



Jacqueline

My Imagination

At times, when I catch my mind wandering off into God only knows where, I cannot help but wonder about what God thinks of our amazing ability to use the imagination He created in us for negativity.

I believe that imagination was meant to function as a form of building faith.

I think that it is through our imagination that we can battle some of our darkest thoughts. If one can easily use one's imagination to create a dismal scenario, just think how amazing it would be to paint a positive outcome with the same tool.

If you really think about it, our imaginations employ thoughts and thoughts can lead to plans, visions and goals.

I mean one can completely reinvent a situation through one's imagination.

This is not just any common day ability, it is what some of the greatest achievements in life evolved from. It is a powerful resource in our possession that we quite often take for granted.

At the same time; I cannot blame anyone for that lack, because for a long time we have grouped all of this under daydreaming, which to many connotes purposelessness and even laziness.

The more I think about this, the more I strongly believe that one way around this is to see imagination as a window towards building strong faith in the unknown.


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline

Friends Vs. Casual Acquaintances

This may seem like a silly thing to think about, but I have learnt from personal experience that it is worth defining relationships however obvious they may seem.

In my attempt to understand this, I looked up a quick definition of both a friend and a casual acquaintance. According to the Webster Online Dictionary, a friend is one who is attached to another by affection or esteem. A casual acquaintance, on the other hand, is a person whom one knows, but is not a particularly close friend.

I cannot really say that that was much help, but I guess the definitions provide a pretty simple foundation from which one can gauge one's relationships with others.

In my opinion, friendships vary in their degrees of transparency and intimacy (open communication).

It was once described to me like this--You can view friendships based on the structure of the ancient Jewish Temple.

You have those whom you allow into the Outer Courts. These are individuals whom you may in my opinion refer to as your casual acquaintances. Because of the nature of one's relationship with these people, they have not won the right to know all the nitty-gritty of one's life. You may discuss how annoying the weather is, you may even love the same books and perhaps even discuss news with them(I think you get the picture). It is a relatively shallow relationship.

The next group would be those whom you allow into the Inner Courts. These are individuals who know a lot more about you. You may have been room mates in college and you find them trustworthy enough to confide in over something like your professional development frustrations.

Once again; given the nature of the relationship, even though a little closer, you still cannot divulge all your "dark secrets" to them.

The last group are those whom you let into the Holy of Holies.

Forgive my sarcasm, but I happen to be one of those who believes that this is a rarity. In fact, I believe that one is more likely to find this on a couch in a Therapist's office than in the real world out there.

But for the sake of the argument; aside from God and maybe your Therapist, these are the individuals whom one may argue know you inside out and are trustworthy enough for you to confide in them all of your "issues".

Typically that means that this person may have been with you through a very dark time in your life and has won your trust and confidence by the very way with which he/she conducted himself/herself during that period.

By all accounts, those allowed into the Holy of Holies, have not only won the right to be there, but they have also won over your full trust.

So if you ask me the one thing that determines a true friend, it would have to be TRUST. That is the key ingredient in determining who is a casual acquaintance and who is a true friend.

To be honest with you, trust is the key ingredient in any relationship.


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline

Священная война/Svyashchennaya Voyna

I find that every year around this time, I am taken back to Middle School in Moscow.

Almost right from the beginning of the year, we would have been preparing for a special concert on the 9th of May, also known as Victory Day.

During that concert, we would honour World War II veterans. In fact one of our own teachers would be seen proudly wearing his old uniform with his medals on full display.

By the time the concert came along, we felt like we had taken part in the war.

Aside from learning the patriotic war songs such as Священная война (Holy/Sacred War), we also watched old documentaries detailing the grotesque things that the veterans had to endure for us to enjoy a future free from Nazi Emperialism.

The intensity of the War and the passion and bravery with which the soldiers met the fascists were indisputable.

So why all this reminiscing?

I don't really know why, but I do know that my spirit has been plagued by sadness over the the intensity with which hatred appears to be overcoming this world.

Just like then, I feel like an intense battle wages on.

This time around, it is more than just peace on earth that is in jeopardy. Something far more valuable than that is under attack and sadly it is our souls. The enemy understands what is at stake and wishes to destroy us at the very core of our existence.

I don't really know whether it is the intensity of the battle that bothers me more or the fact that the war appears to be met by an opponent who is unaware and unperturbed.

That could be it or maybe we have simply been desensitised as a result of all the attacks on our lives that we have witnessed.

This much I do know, there is something sinister going on in the hearts of men and it is going to take a lot more than words and declarations of "Never Again" for this to come to an end.

This is a spiritual battle and we can only win with God on our side.


I Bid You Shalom,


Jacqueline