D.M. Raver's Blog, page 2

Ways to Improve Writing

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Rewriting a book I first wrote when I was pre-teen has given me a unique perspective on how writing develops in a person who is serious creating fiction. I don't think non-authors can grasp how much goes in to writing a novel. Not only do I spend half my writing time researching, but I also work to continually improve my writing through feedback, edits, and critiques. Not that the stage I am now at is perfect, by any means, but I am amazed at how far I've come, even in the last ten years.
I'd like to share the main things I've learned as a participant on critters.org, Scibophile, and as an author and editor for Fantasy Island Book Publishing. I will also share a sample of CRAPPY old writing - and how I improved it.

Ways to Improve Writing:1) Have someone who is not FRIEND or FAMILY edit your book, preferably hire someone if you have the money. There are so many things that authors miss in their own writing. It takes an outsider with a critical eye to catch them.
A good place to find an editorial service is through Publisher's Marketplace. They have a complete database:
http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/browse.html
2) Be aware of vague, redundant, and overused words and phrases. A fellow author told me recently about Pro Writing Aid, it's a web-based editing tool that alerts you to word choice and consistency in a selection of text you paste into it. I highly recommend it.
http://prowritingaid.com/Free-Editing-Software.aspx
[image error] (sample report from Pro Writing Aid - this is of a version of my book I wrote in 1997:)

3) Join a critique group. As I said above, my favorite two are critters.org - which is for fantasy and science fiction writers, and Scribophile, which is for anyone.

Critters.org
Critters is an email-based queue for science fiction and fantasy novels, and there are similar systems for other genres on Critique.org. You have to edit other manuscripts to keep in good standing, and wait some time as your chapter or short story goes up the list. It is time consuming, but if you critique ten works you get to move to the top of the list.

Here's what the queue looks like:
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Scribophile

Scribophile is another online critique website, and you can set up a basic membership for free, but to be able to post more than two chapters at once you need to buy a premium membership.


You also have to critique other people's writing in order to post your own, weather you buy the premium membership or not. You earn Karma point by posting more detailed reviews.

[image error] I found you have to be very active on either critique site in order to receive a substantial number of reviews. Both places the fellow authors were very helpful, and all have varying opinions, which I will get into in tip #4

4) Above all, I recommend every author to make it his or her priority to find their unique voice, and stick with it. Editor, critics, beta readers can all have differing opinions. I often find that one sample of writing will please some, and elicit many suggestions from others. No piece of fiction will please everyone. Be true to the story you intended, and how you intended to tell it. Sometimes it's okay if you make someone mad, or break some rules. Try to find an editor/proofreader who understands who you are as an author, and your target audience.

Without further ado, here is my *fantastic* sample (haha:)

[image error]
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Thanks for visiting! Find me on Facebook:Danielle Raver Author
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My Bucket List

My mom suggested we both write bucket lists - ten things we'd like to do before we die - and then compare them. I wonder if she knew I would blog about it :)

So here it goes, my bucket list, in the order that I think about items.

1) Get a doctorate degree in clinical psychology, or neural psychology

2) Design a house that we will hire someone else to build, with a sun room, and a screened porch, a pool, a jacuzzi, a library, and a rock path garden (that's also energy self-sufficient using solar panels)

3) Finish and publish Flight Moon, my life's work

4) Travel to Europe and take a tour of old castles and ruins

5) See the mountains in Japan and China

6) Start a center to help children who are diagnosed with ADHD, ADD, or labeled with learning disabilities (Like the Arrowsmith school in Canada)

7) Research neuroplasticity and help reinvent the education model with the understanding that IQ is NOT permanent and "disabilities" CAN be overcome

8) See my kids graduate high school and start a field of work that they can make a difference in the world and find hapiness

9) Plant an orchard of fruit and hardwood trees and have field for horses

10) Live a long, happy life with my husband and family


*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *
My Friends' Bucket Lists:
(None added yet!)
(Leave a link to yours in the comments and I'll link to it)

Tragedy Tarts - Recipe from Danielle Raver

Tragedy Tart Recipe
 
(Based on a mini chocolate tart recipe)
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Ingredients:
Brownie MixThree large eggs1/2 cup Vegetable Oil1/4 cup waterNutellaCherry Pie FillingChopped or Sliced AlmondsWhite Chocolate Bar
Mini cupcake linersMini cupcake pan(available at Michael's!)


Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
In a large bowl mix the brownie mix with the eggs, oil, and water. Dish out brownie mix 1/3 full for each cupcake. Dab a small amount of cherry filling, with no cherries, in the center of the brownie mix. Add a small layer of brownie mix to the top. Dabble a 1/2 a teaspoon of Nutella to the top of each mixture.
Bake in the oven for 10 to 15 minutes, until a knife inserted to the center comes out clean. As soon as you take the tarts out of the oven, sprinkle shaved white chocolate and crushed almonds to the top. Push in one sliced almond to the top of the tart (like a sword through the heart).
Makes over 100 mini tarts. Note: you can put the cupcake liners onto a cookie sheet, but they won't be as nicely shaped if you use the mini cupcake pan.

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This recipe is based on the events of Brother Betrayed, a tragic fantasy novel by Danielle Raver. Find out more about it on Amazon.
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Alteration of this recipe by AJ Wheeler:

Instead of Nutella, fresh chocolate ganache frosting and confectioners sugar over the white chocolate shavings
(posted to Facebook here)

Cover for City of Silver

My fabulous cover artist Walt Barna has agreed to create the cover art for my upcoming novella City of Silver. I met Walt through the forums on Deviant Art.

Unlike the cover for my first novel, Brother Betrayed, I didn't give Walt specific directions for City of Silver. Instead I asked him to draw whatever he was inspired to after he read the story.

Here are is sketches and drawing in sequential order. I saved the best for last :)


Initial Concept Sketch
 Walt chose to depict Benita, the main character of the story, sleeping. Benita doesn't understand why even though most people in the city of Argentar only dream a few times in their lives, she dreams every night.


Pencil Sketch Excerpt from City of Silver:
p { margin-bottom: 0.21cm; } Mom gives me a serious look. “I think it’s time you tell me about these dreams.”I sigh when she sits with me on the bed. Feeling guilty – like I’m telling some secret – I scorn myself, knowing that it’s all made up in my head.“Well, there’s this woman...”



 Complete Black and White Concept Sketch This version includes two figures on the top corners of the cover. On the left is Raven. Benita first meets Raven in her dreams, then he appears in real life as a guide and messenger. On the right is Jomicolis, the banished queen of Argentar.

Completed Cover In the final version of the cover several important details come forward. The purity of the city is a core theme of the story. As far as the flowers, the shaded figures, and the floating girl, you'll have to read the story to understand their significance.
Available on Amazon Kindle!

Visit Walt Barna's Deviant Art Page
Click Here

Cool New Alternative Rock Song

I happened by this song by Jordan Parvex on SoundCloud this week.


Jordan explains his inspiration for the song was being hurt and betrayed by someone he trusted dearly.




Lyrics to Brother Betrayed by Jordan Parvex

you've got a look that can break stone
and an attitude like you're on a throne
you think you can rule the world.
you have these eyes that can pierce my soul
and instead of a heart, you have a hole
you think you can rule the world.

(chorus)

come on stop kidding yourself
your just a kid left on a shelf
and the worlds broken you down
you're just their puppet now.

(chorus)

all that's left of you is a hollow shell
you put a price up for your soul to sell
and now the world rules you.
you made a promise to never change
too bad your dead and we're estranged
and now the world rules you.

(chorus)

(bridge)
you're heartless
you're soulless
you're loveless
now.
you loved this
you've lost this
your broken
down.
so goodbye
to you
you're one of them now.

(chorus x2)


Support this artist on SoundCloud http://soundcloud.com/bluesaintdead

Betrayed by a Brother

Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand.
~ Genesis 4:11

   Early stories of brotherly betrayal have been ingrained upon our society's psyche. Like the biblical story of Cain and Abel, when brother betrays brother, the act is especially heinous. 
 
Stories of brotherly betrayal survive in popular culture. In the recent movie Thor by Paramount, based on the comic book series by Marvel, the god Thor is betrayed by his adopted brother Loki.

 However, the legends of Norse Mythology do tell of betrayal between these two gods. As the myth goes, Thor is poisoned by a snake, whom he fights partially due to the deception of Loki.

Loki is tied up by the gods and forced to drink the poison of a snake as punishment. When the poison falls on him, his body trembles, causing earthquakes, according to the Norse myth.
 Another ancient story of brother betraying brother comes from Egyptian mythology. Osiris was tricked by this brother-in-law Set into a coffin, and was drowned in the Nile.

Osiris was later resurrected by his wife, Isis, after she found the jeweled coffin and put together the dismantled pieces of his body.

Jesus warned of brotherly betrayal when he spoke to his disciples before his crucification:p { margin-bottom: 0.21cm; } "Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death."~ Mark 13:12


Another biblical reference to brotherly betrayal comes from p { margin-bottom: 0.21cm; } Jeremiah 12:6"For even your brothers, and the house of your father, even they have dealt treacherously with you; even they have cried aloud after you: don't believe them, though they speak beautiful words to you."


From Greek mythology, the ultimate tragic betrayal perpetuates the sad tale of Oedipus. Eteocles and Polyneices, the sons of the cursed Oedipus, vow to share their kingdom after Oedipus falls into grief. 

The tale climaxes when Eteocles and Polyneices battle for Thebes, and kill each other in the process.


Tweets about being "betrayed by a brother"
Over the last month, I have collected tweets from Twitter.com that came up on the search of the keywords "brother" and "betrayed".

p { margin-bottom: 0.21cm; }a:link { }
MaricelaGlez (: ‏ @maricelaa_G Why does my dog refuse to sleep with me? She betrayed me with my brother.Lucifer ‏ @BunkBuddy come to that because that pesky brother of his would find a way to "fix him" and he did. By finding the other angel that betrayed him. =Aj Velez ‏ @ThatKid_INKd Can't believe my own brother betrayed me the way he did ...MaricelaGlez (: ‏ @maricelaa_G Why does my dog refuse to sleep with me? She betrayed me with my brother.AMAdA ;) ‏ @Ehts_AMAdA My mom left to wallieworld with my brother i feel betrayed:/Mary♥TW☺☮ ‏ @MaryThompsonxo_  Brother betrayed me and watched the final harry potter *le cry*Ezra Capucion ‏ @jadeaezra  Grabe. I feel like a betrayed Ate. My brother blocked me off facebook. I hate his girlfriend forever!! If I see her in this house I swear..Rachael Wallace ‏ @RWallace20 Finally got to sunriver... It's so weird not being on Vacation with my brother #Betrayed aileen  ‏ @ aileenSAID Scar is a GDI ... He betrayed his brother in the worst of times Shamiya Neely ‏ @ lovelylooksz Lion King, scar betrayed mufasa. Legend of the Guardians, that one brother betrayed the other. These movies teach u can't trust family. LolTifa Wirarini ‏ @tifa_wirarini Whoever advises his brother concerning a matter, knowing that correct guidance lies in another direction, has betrayed him.Luther Carson Jr. ‏ @Luthaaa93 I feel so betrayed by one of my closest friends who I consider a brother smhLauren ‏ @LauTha_BOSS ive never felt so betrayed by my brother until now❥cαяσʟ ‏ @Carol_xox Ryan Giggs is worse tho!! Prick!! Betrayed his brother. #LateLateSarah Alaimo ‏ @chickennugget8D And when my brother betrayed me I knew I was worthless.Ricky Aviles ‏ @Rickyaviles3 My baby brother betrayed me!! http://pic.twitter.com/WXZHqyTyShanaka Perera ‏ @Shanaka_Shana Dear India, You badly betrayed your own little brother. Shame on you.............Jenerator ‏ @_REFINNEJ_ My own brother betrayed me$treet Runner$™ ‏ @ItsMeCoxx Brother Betrayed Me; Trust No One!!chase hensley ‏ @chase_____1 betrayed by brother..amanduhlanaee ‏ @miss_amanduhh I have a brother,but at this moment I don't feel like I do...#betrayed.Lauren ‏ @LauTha_BOSS ive never felt so betrayed by my brother until nowOn a Personal Note  Some of my favorite brotherly stories come from movies I watched as a kid. The relationship between the brothers in Legends of the Fall is fascinating to me.

Not to mention there's just something about Brad Pitt as a vengeful farmer-boy.

And in The Lion King, my heart hurt when Mufasa pleaded with Scar to save his life.

I enjoyed the movie Four Brothers, a movie based on The Sons of Katie Elder, and is the story of four brothers who seek to avenge the murder of their adopted mother in Detroit.



Enjoy books and movies about #brothers and #betrayal? 
Check out Brother Betrayed on Amazon! [image error] $2.99 E-book$14.99 Print Edition

"Festival"

What is a festival?
A time to celebrate our culture

To celebrate our humanity

To remember our history

To pause in our work, our toil

And to unite as a community

To celebrate literature, music, and art

Without festivals, without celebration, life would consist solely of the dull and drone.

Celebrate with me, at the Alabama Book Festival in Montgomery on April 21st and Troy Fest in Troy on April 28th



Find out more at http://on.fb.me/April2012
I'm attending with author Joan Hazel,meet her at her websitewww.joanhazel.com

Giveaways and Reviews of Brother Betrayed and Tips for Authors

Thanks to all the fans who made Brother Betrayed a number one book on Amazon!
(screen shot from February 15th)

To celebrate we are giving away a signed copy of Brother Betrayed through Goodreads, enter to win here: .goodreadsGiveawayWidget { color: #555; font-family: georgia, serif; font-weight: normal; text-align: left; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; background: white; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget img { padding: 0 !important; margin: 0 !important; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a { padding: 0 !important; margin: 0; color: #660; text-decoration: none; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a:visted { color: #660; text-decoration: none; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget a:hover { color: #660; text-decoration: underline !important; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidget p { margin: 0 0 .5em !important; padding: 0; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidgetEnterLink { display: block; width: 150px; margin: 10px auto 0 !important; padding: 0px 5px !important; text-align: center; line-height: 1.8em; color: #222; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; border: 1px solid #6A6454; -moz-border-radius: 5px; -webkit-border-radius: 5px; font-family:arial,verdana,helvetica,sans-serif; background-image:url(http://goodreads.com/images/layout/gr... background-repeat: repeat-x; background-color:#BBB596; outline: 0; white-space: nowrap; } .goodreadsGiveawayWidgetEnterLink:hover { background-image:url(http://goodreads.com/images/layout/gr... color: black; text-decoration: none; cursor: pointer; }
Goodreads Book Giveaway
Brother, Betrayed
by Danielle Raver



Giveaway ends February 28, 2012.


See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.
Enter to win


Are you an author? Here's some tips for increasing book sales:
1)  Find the price "Sweet Spot" - putting your price at $.99 can allow you post your book onto many "Cheap Kindle Book" groups on Facebook, Goodreads, and other public forums. Once sales pick up you can increase the price.
2)  Create a blog and let readers know about you and your work. Make sure you feature links back to your book sale sites.3)  Have a cover that appeals to your target audience. I found my cover artist (the fabulous Walt Barna) through Deviant Art, a great community for commissioning.
4)  Act like an author, not a salesman - if all you do is spam on Twitter, Facebook, and book forums, then most people will ignore you. Post links to your work, but find other things to announce and discuss.
5)  Increase your local audience - send author updates to the culture section of your local newspaper. They may or may not publish all of them - but if they do it's free publicity! 

New Reviews of Brother Betrayed
Five Star Review on Amazon:
I just finished Brother Betrayed by the amazing author Danielle Raver, and give it a full 5 Stars! It was a well crafted fantasy novel, filled with characters that came to life on the pages, especially the three princes! It is a large story, and one that takes the reader along for adventure, political intrigue, love, and betrayal. I recommend this book to anyone who likes traditional fantasy on a grand scale.
- Dean Lappi author of Black Numbers

Five Star Review on Amazon:I didn't have huge expectations when I downloaded this book, but absolutely loved it. I think it clearly depicted the differences between three brothers, and how small personality conflicts as young men can quickly become kingdom-rending during times of war.- Kenneth Hudley
Five Star Review on Amazon:
'Brother Betrayed' is a fantasy adventure about three young princes. Whilst exploring the lands of their kingdom, one day they come across a mysterious woman who tells them that one day one of the brothers is going to be betray the others, and since then the brothers had been perturbed and uneasy. To an action fan like me, the first half of the book seemed a bit slow-paced, but in the second half there are a lot of epic battles and many intense moments, moments that get you to wonder of how the events will turn out. Action, however, is not the highlight of this book. The highlight to me was how well the major characters were developed, especially the three brothers, and the chemistry between them. It truly felt like they were real people. This is a solid fantasy adventure story. - Matthew Ashworth author of the Melancholy Wing series



Thanks for visiting! More announcements of upcoming publications by Danielle Raver coming soon!

Fifteen Years of Progress: A Writer's Journey

Over fifteen years ago I started writing a novel titled Flight Moon. After a series of rewrites, I have finally decided to finish it. The basic story is the same, but as my writing matured, the story had to as well.
I would like to share a sample of this new novel, with the version from the first write and the current scene in progress.
 Here is the old version, complete as I wrote it as a preteen (with spelling and grammatical errors as they were in 1998).
p { margin-bottom: 0.21cm; }     Flight Moon heard the voices and something overtook her, she was swelled in a brilliant flash of red light. Gakulisan stepped back and looked at the split-second gleam of colors. He shielded his eyes and then opened them as he felt the sudden heat diminish. He then looked at a small child, barley old enough to walk, which had no legs. Though struck, he still picked up the child and wrapped her in his cloak just as Corban came around the corner. The wizard did not look up to them; he just stared at the child in his arms. Although Gakulisan never saw the baby before, he felt as though he knew her. He looked into the baby's eyes; they were as red a fire. Flight Moon was alive inside the child.

Lifetime and education experience has molded me into the writer I am today. Hiring an editor was one of the best decisions I made as an author. Being a member of critique websites such as critters.org and Scribophile improved my writing as well.
Here is the new version of the same scene (slight spoiler alert!)
     "Your family is not my concern," Flight Moon spoke, but felt her throat constricting when she glanced at the child.
     "You seek the Mage... but why, if you are not his allies? Is he your foe?" Corban demanded.
     The dragon's face twitched. "It depends what he did to me," she growled.
     The boy infant, startled, turned to face her.
    The back of Flight Moon's eyes burned at the sight of his face. She felt detached from the vision, as if she moved backwards from it. Surrounded by a tunnel of darkness, the light became smaller. She was falling backwards into herself. She drew one long, distant breath, and the light went out.
     The great beast collapsed before them. Before Gakulisan could approach her, strong energy started to radiate from her body. Surges seared from her like lisps of horizontal flame across the ground. A nearby plant was consumed by the energy and burst into glowing orange ash. The ground beneath the dragon began to char and cinder and the air crackled with unbalanced charge.
     "Get back!" Gakulisan ordered the two onlookers and they complied, watching the dragon's body remain still, and yet change.
     The dragon was... fading. Her scales seemed translucent. The energy field strengthened, then manifested into a burst of flame. An intense blue sphere expanded outward with a crackling hum. The blanket of flames shot towards the onlookers and they ducked and tried to shield themselves. But Gakulisan looked back. Through the heat distortion he was barely able to see the red of her scales. Then with a dramatic pull of air pressure and a deafening boom, she disappeared.

Thanks for stopping by! Come back again for more excerpts and previews.
All content is original work and copyrighted by the author.

How to Rescue your Book on Goodreads

This blog will explain how to rescue your book from being removed on Goodreads.
Previously, Goodreads received information from Amazon such as book descriptions, author and publisher info, and book covers.
*STARTING JANUARY 30th GOODREADS WILL DELETE BOOKS WITH INFO RECEIVED FROM AMAZON*
You can, however, rescue your book by following these steps:
IMPORTANT NOTE:  In order for you to edit the details of a book, you must first verify with Goodreads you are the author of the book. Do this by clicking your author name on the Goodreads book page, scroll down to the bottom and click "Is this you?" Goodreads will send you an email to confirm and then in a day or two Goodreads will verify you are the author of the book and allow you to edit the details.
Got your Goodreads account verified? Then follow these steps.... First, gather all the important information, such as publication date and product description. Also, have a picture file (.jpg or .png) of your cover image save to your hard drive.
Next, go to your book's page on Goodreads (if you don't have it bookmarked, go to www.goodreads.com and search for the title of your book at the top)
On your book, search for "edit details" under the product description (it's small and gray)
You may or may not be directed to a page that reads "Rescue the book with ISBN/ASIN #....." 
If NOT - your book is safe
If SO - the screen will look like this:

Fill out the details in the fields. 
NOTE: Do NOT use Amazon as the source URL. I used my publisher's web address. You could use another site's url if you book is currently published through Barnes and Noble or another book site. If you are the author, I personally think you could use your own website as the source url (since it's your book!). Possibly even shelfari.com or another book information site, though I haven't tried it.
NOTE: The url may have to be written with http://www.(site).com for Goodreads to accept it.
I'll be happy to help if you have more questions. I also love meeting new authors on Goodreads! Find me on Facebook (Danielle Raver, Author)