Marc Johnson's Blog, page 10

August 13, 2013

Starcrossed

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Starcrossed


Christina is on the verge of an incredible scientific breakthrough—one that will affect all of mankind. She’s sacrificed everything for her work, including her relationship with the only man she’s ever truly loved.


Booker’s life is empty without Christina. She keeps saying it’s over, but he can’t help reaching out to her one more time—at exactly the wrong moment.


When Christina’s experiment goes tragically wrong, it unleashes a destructive force with the potential to annihilate all life on Earth—and beyond. The only hope for the future of the galaxy is the fragile connection between two human hearts, and the power of unconditional love.


Starcrossed is available at these fine retailers:

AMAZON


BARNES & NOBLE


DIESEL EBOOKS


IBOOKSTORE


SMASHWORDS


SONY E-READER

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Published on August 13, 2013 18:29

August 8, 2013

Why Writers Make Terrible Reviewers

I’m always hesitant to give my book to writers to review. I’ve found that more often than not, they give my book bad reviews. I have no problem with a non-writer giving my book a bad review, but I do with other writers. It has nothing to do with a perceived professional courtesy or this “writer/indie community” I don’t feel apart of. It has more to do with the fact that writers are terrible reviewers.


We’ve all experienced this before. It’s like watching a movie or show that has guns in it and you’re next to a friend who knows a lot about guns. They’ll talk about how that caliber couldn’t penetrate that wall or how a silencer doesn’t really silence a gun, and how you want them to shut up. You probably do it too. I know I’m that way whenever I see people string bet in poker.


Now I know what you’re thinking. I’m a writer and I review books. I believe I’m good at it, but that’s because I’m able to objectively judge anything around me. Except when it comes to women and my love life…or lack thereof. But that’s another story.


It may seem that writers are in a better position to judge books because they write much in the same way a director can judge a film. Now while they are better equipped as to say why things are bad or good, that’s the only position they’re in.


The top reason writers are terrible reviewers is that they talk about what they would do. Always. If they want to write that book, they should write that book. If not, they should just the story by its own standards.


There will always be expectations for a book. Whether it’s the name, blurb, cover, etc., you will expect a certain type of story based on that. It’s perfectly fine to judge a book or movie or game based on those merits. Saying what you would have written instead is pointless because you didn’t do it. Whereas you can’t (probably) make a movie, you could write a book. All you really need is a pen and a pad. How many people say they have a book in them? Answer: all of them.


There are rules for writing just as there are rules for everything else. People instinctively know these rules even if they don’t “know” these rules, if that makes any sense.


Most people don’t care about the nuts and bolts of things. They don’t want to know about the lighting of a movie, the fact that guns can’t shoot through locks, or that a story uses adverbs or there’s no punctuation. People just want to be entertained. They don’t really care how or why as long as they feel satisfied in whatever type of experience they were looking for.


For example, your brain may appreciate and have noticed that while Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus were in the matrix, things were slightly greener. It was because they used a green camera filter. In the real world, they didn’t and you probably didn’t notice it except that things “looked different.”


You’ll only care about those little details upon multiple viewings or readings. You’ll pick up at how that one sentence in the first book was not only resolved in the third book but the entire basis of it. When writers don’t resolve those threads, you’ll feel cheated. The bigger the unresolved thread, the more you’ll feel cheated.


If you look at writers and their bad reviews, you’ll see those same problems over and over. They’ll talk about if they had written it, they would have done X, or how in they learned in class that their writing teacher told them not to do Y. Those are always the worse reviews, and personally, they frustrate me to no end. To me, I’m like go write your own damn book or have a coherent thought of your own.


You can give bad reviews. I’m not against them. God knows I’ve given enough of them in my life. If you don’t like the predictable plot, the lack of tension or suspense, one-dimensional characters, lack of an ending, no dialogue, too much description, or anything else that’s perfectly fine. But if you read, you must turn off the writerly part of your brain. If you don’t, you’re just going to be another one of those writers that hate, make fun of, or talk about how bad The Da Vinci Code or Twilight was. Those people always seem petty and jealous to me.


You have to remember that people read fiction books to be entertained. Anything else is just a bonus.


Marc Johnson

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Published on August 08, 2013 14:55

July 16, 2013

How to Give a Good Interview

For the past month or two, I’ve been doing a ton of interviews and giveaways. Check out my Facebook to see them.


Now, I’m pretty much a nobody, but I’m thankful for each interview or email I get from people. That said, even though I’m no one (yet), I think I do an excellent or at least entertaining, job at doing interviews. Here’s some tips that will work well so that your interview won’t be boring.


3. BE HONEST


The world is full of liars. People lie every day and don’t even realize it. There’s a filter people learn to put over their words when they’re still kids. However, when you give an interview you should remove the filter at least a little bit


All the controversy from interviews generally come up when people tell the truth, and they get a lot of flack from it. But those make for the most interesting and memorable interviews. We expect certain answers but when you’re honest, you give people a real insight into how you work, what you think, or how you feel.


Now there are downsides to being honest. People might not like what you have to say. You should never be down on someone on how they feel even if they are racist or sexist. When someone’s honest, you’ll always know where you stand.


2. TALK LIKE HOW YOU’D SPEAK TO FRIENDS


In conversational speak, people are more relaxed. They’ll use contractions, fragmented sentences, made up words, and all sorts of crazy stuff. While you’re talking to your boss or dealing with customers, you’re more formal, and in being more formal, you’re also stiff.


In an interview, I like to talk as if I’m with my friends. That way, not only will I be more relaxed and less nervous, the interviewer will be more relaxed. In doing so, we can have a conversation. Those make for a better interview than the ones where the interviewee’s defensive or the interviewer has to work to draw the person out.


You can even do it in a written interview. When the readers read the wall of text, if you’re formal and stiff, they’re likely to start skimming. You also want to do it so they get a feel for you as a person.


1. LET YOUR PERSONALITY SHINE


I’ve found that most people have a personality. They just hold it back for various reasons. You need to have that personality come through in an interview so that people get to know who you are. By having a personality, people will feel as if you’re human and hopefully relate or be interested in what you have to say.


Without a personality, people will become bored. They’ll tune out whatever you have to say or skim your interview. I’ve seen and heard so many interviews where people sound like a robot. They sound automatic and when they try to plug their wares, I not only don’t care, I’ll actively avoid them.


Those are the three, main things I try to do when I give an interview and I believe most people enjoy my interviews. At the very least, they’re not boring. Of course, I could have summed up this entire post with two sayings I heard while growing up.


Do you, and keep it real!


Marc Johnson

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Published on July 16, 2013 17:23

June 27, 2013

The Dark Side of Living Card Games

About a year and a half ago, I learned of Living Card Games. While the term is coined by Fantasy Flight Games, there are one or two other companies that are doing the same thing just calling it a different term.


Now, LCGs are similar but different from Collectible Card Games (CCGs). The main difference is that unlike CCGs, there’s no collectability. With a LCG, you get playsets of all the cards you require. There’s no buying multiple booster boxes in hopes of getting what you need or dropping a lot of money for one card on eBay. You buy one set and that’s it.


While that all sounds great in theory, I’ve learned that there’s a few downsides of a LCG. They weighed on me so much that I ended up trading away The Lord of the Rings Card Game, which I do love and is an excellent game.


3. NO TRADING


One of the things I love about CCGs is that you have to trade with people. The odds of you getting every single card you need are slim even if you spend hundreds of dollars on them. Trading is a way to connect to people. You can easily strike up conversations with them and even learn about what’s good, bad, or great for a combo. I’ve made a lot of great friends by doing this in CCGs. You can even get rid of cards you consider junk to people who think those cards are priceless.


Since LCGs give you all the cards you need, there’s no longer a need for any trading when everyone has everything. That brings me to my next point.


2. TOO MANY CHOICES


In a CCG, they’ll be somewhere between 5-9 factions to get all the cards you need. What makes it worse is that cards will often be shared between decks. Because of that, you’ll focus your time, energy, and money on two or three decks and trade or sell everything you don’t need.


In a LCG, since you’ll be getting ALL the cards you need, there’s no reason not to build decks of the factions you’re least interested in. It wouldn’t be too bad if there were only two sides and two factions per side, but out of the LCGs I’ve experienced, there’s a lot more than that. There’s about four factions for two sides totaling eight.


And if you want to keep up with the game, you’ll have to buy new cards every month.


1. TIME


While an LCG is cheaper than a CCG, buying cards every month can be a pain. The price point of a LCG is considerably low, but people don’t factor in the true price point–time.


In a CCG, every three to four months, you have to sit down and basically tear apart your decks. A ton of new cards just came out and those cards drastically change the way your decks function. They might also boost existing themes or bring new ideas or mechanics in. After that initial boost of ideas, you’re just playtesting to refine your ideas until the next major tournament.


Since new cards come out every month in a LCG, you have to constantly tweak your decks. The monthly packs of cards don’t contain that many cards, but sometimes one or two cards can make a world of difference in a deck.


When I was unemployed, I had plenty of time to refine decks, but now that I’m working again, finding time to play games much less refine them, is just too much. While I enjoy putting together decks, doing so just eats into my time. I’d much rather play games than prepare for them.


Anyways, those are reasons I got out of the LCG model. While there is obviously a market for them and some of the games I’ve tried are good with excellent artwork, I’m hard pressed to say they are for me. That said, if they ever do a Doomtown LCG, I’m all in.


Marc Johnson

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Published on June 27, 2013 17:11

June 18, 2013

A Tale of Two Covers

When I released my print book, I consciously decided to make the cover different from the ebook version. While I talked about why I never talked about what direction to take it in.


Today’s that day!


Catalyst_MD


Because of the nature of the ebook, I needed my ebook cover to be symbolic. Odds are people will view it as a thumbnail or in black and white. Too much going on will clutter it. That also applies to text and colors. However, I still wanted the cover to represent the story. I always want the cover to illustrate the story, but instead of a scene, it had to be symbolic.


While I believe the above cover succeeded, it may have been too subtle and too simplistic. Most people don’t even know that the hand is a female’s hand. It might have been because it’s often seen in a thumbnail or because the story is about a boy wizard with fire powers, but the fact that I chose to put a woman’s hand is pretty significant. In fact, it’s supposed to represent Krystal’s hand and the fire is supposed to represent Hellsfire.


Now instead of having Hellsfire’s cast the magic, Krystal is. While that can seem simple enough, I am not a simple man. That means more than people realize.


Coverdraft2


With a print book, I no longer had to worry about the cover being too crowded or busy. I could have it be more traditional with vibrant colors and scenes from the book. And so I set out to find an artist who could do what I asked. It took awhile but I eventually found one.


Now, instead of being symbolic, I wanted to have a scene from the book. While I’ve never liked most of the pre-00s, high fantasy covers, I did like the idea of what they did. A lot of them took scenes from the book and I always loved the ones with grand landscapes with one or two characters on it. Those ones seem full of life and I thought they generally did a good job.


While I wanted a scene from the book, it was hard to chose one that captured the feeling of the story. I thought of Hellsfire looking up at the White Mountain. That was an early enough scene to represent his journey.


I also lied in my cover. I added Cynder, the dragon, in there and Hellsfire never sees him on his trek to the White Mountain. He also doesn’t get his wizard’s robe until a bit later. And I was OK with lying.


I now realize why covers rarely portray scenes from the book. It’s a very hard thing to do. I asked my artist to do a lot, and while I think it is possible to do what I asked, it would be very difficult and very expensive. Most importantly, I think it would make the cover too crowded. It’s why you never see movie posters with scenes from the movie.


From now on, I’m going to have two separate covers when it comes to my ebooks and print books. One for Krystal and one for Hellsfire. Now to brainstorm on future covers as I have no idea what to do. If anyone has any suggestions…


Marc Johnson

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Published on June 18, 2013 18:35

May 28, 2013

6 Comics You Should Be Reading

I love stories in all its forms. One of those I love is the comic. A few years ago, I had gotten back into comic reading since trade paperbacks aka graphic novels had exploded in popularity. I had always hated single issues even when I was a kid. Back then though, trades were a rarity. Thanks to digital comics and Comixology, I’ve been reading single issues once again.


There are many more choices than when I was a kid though. So much so that it might be overwhelming at times especially if you’re a returning or new comic reader. Let me narrow it down for you with some of my favorites.


6. JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK


Justice League Dark


In the past year or two, DC rebooted their entire line. While they had taken a lot of chances creatively, they’ve not cut almost every non-Green Lantern, Batman, or Justice League title. So I expect another reboot in a year or two. In any case, the only title that’s left that I’m still reading is Justice League Dark.


I’ve never been a big DC fan unless you count Vertigo. Their superhero stuff is boring and bland compared to Marvel. However, their magic system can be interesting even if it has no specific rules.


Justice League Dark focuses on magic and each individual brings their own unique specialty to the team. While I like dysfunctional teams like X-Factor, all those teams tend to love each other even if they argue and bicker. Justice League Dark isn’t really like that. Sure, they’ll work together to save the world from a crisis, but they don’t hang out when they don’t have to nor do they completely trust each other. That’s what makes it such a fascinating read. That and the fact that a couple of Vertigo characters are in it whose titles have been canned.


Also, unlike every other superhero team, there’s no strong guy, speedster, flyer, and mind reader, which is the standard for every team.


5. GHOSTBUSTERS


Ghostbusters IDW


I was hesitant to include this because without giving too much away, the main Ghostbusters you know from the movies aren’t in it right now. I’m sure they’ll return though.


I’ve never been a big fan of the Ghostbusters movies. While I do enjoy them, I’ve enjoyed the cartoon show and video games a lot more. Much like those, the comic captures the feeling of the movies. There’s horror, humor, friendship, and everything else you would expect from the Ghostbusters. The comic also bridges the movies by referencing things that happened and having recurring side characters.


One thing the comic does better than the movies, is that it goes into more depth. Winston gets screen time and they don’t just confine themselves to New York. It might seem too big for them to cover America, but they’re not the only game in town.


Plus, there’s Peck.


4. TRANSFORMERS: ROBOTS IN DISGUISE


Transformers Robots in Disguise


There are currently three ongoing Transformers titles. While the other two are good or decent, this is the best one.


If there’s one flaw in the Transformers universe it’s that it ALWAYS involves Megatron and Optimus Prime. While that’s fascinating most of the time, it does get tiresome.


What I enjoy most about Robots in Disguise is that it takes place after the war between the Decepticons and Autobots has been settled. Both iconic leaders are gone and you have a post-Cybertron with Bumblebee in charge and a slew of non-affiliated Transformers coming back home. War is always the easy part, it’s what comes after that’s hard. Bumblebee has to deal with it along with three factions, a somewhat unstable planet, and try to make a future for all Cybertronians.


Also, no humans. Humans ruin every Transformer thing. Except for Chip. I like Chip.


3. THE UNWRITTEN


The Unwritten


Any one of the top three could be switched. They’re all that good. It’s hard to describe The Unwritten because it’s basically a story about stories, if that makes any sense. There is the obvious Harry Potter angle, but it also delves into other myths and stories, what’s their purpose, and why they’re so powerful.


It helps if you have a knowledge from everything to Harry Potter to Moby Dick and the Bible, but I don’t think you need to. It’s also about a group of friends trying to figure out the mystery of Tommy Taylor and you know, save the world from the bad guys and what not.


The Unwritten takes you everywhere from the stories in the past to stories in the present, but it’s not what about what has been written. It’s about the unwritten.


2. SAGA


Saga


Saga is currently taking the world by storm and it’s hard to say why. At it’s core, Saga is very cliched. A man and woman from opposite sides of the war fall in love and have a kid. They’re both on the run from their opposing fractions. If you know Romeo and Juliet, you know this story.


I think it’s the WAY everything’s told that makes it interesting. There’s dead, teenage ghosts; magical races; winged races; a spider-like assassin; robots with TV heads; and other more imaginative and disturbing stuff. While everything may be weird, the core of the story is something everyone can relate to, and has been read and seen countless times before.


And that’s a saga we can all get behind.


1. LOCKE & KEY


Locke and Key


This comic barely made the list, but only because it’s shortly coming to an end. Out of all the comics listed, Locke & Key is probably the most original. While there are elements of Cthulhu in it, it puts a twist on it.


Locke & Key starts off with three kids’s father being brutally murdered. Afterwards, they move back to their father’s childhood home. That home is full of keys that only kids can see and those keys aren’t normal. They’ll make you into a ghost, swap your gender, grant you super strength, take memories out of your head, and so on. While that may sound like fun, the siblings must contend with a malevolent being that wants those keys.


If you enjoyed 80s movies where the kids end up saving the adults or get to see another world within our normal, boring one, you’ll like this. In a lot of ways, this reminds me of the first half of It. Joe Hill is King’s son, but he’s also his own man. While I enjoy the keys and the threat to the kids, that’s not what keeps me reading. What I like are the choices the kids make and how it affects them in their everyday and not so everyday, lives. I believe that’s what makes the book great.


If any of these sound interesting to you, I hope you give them a shot. Comics aren’t just for kids anymore.


Marc Johnson

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Published on May 28, 2013 16:21

May 2, 2013

Top 8 Inspirational Rap Songs

Not too long ago, I was talking with another writer over Twitter. We discussed a few things and she seemed to be down. When I think of what writers say and post, in general, writers seem to be down. Writers are very emotional and volatile people. I used to be that way, but turned that emotional switch off to be ruled by cold logic.


I believe that one of the reasons I’m not like most other writers is that I listen to rap music and it helps my emotional mood. I know what you’re thinking, but not all rap music is like that. While I don’t exclusively listen to rap, the songs I listen to when I’m feeling down tend to give me a swagger and confidence that most don’t have. Well, that, and growing up on 80s movies.


Here are my top 8 songs that I play when I feel as if I’m having a shitty day and need to get my swagger back. And despite my emotional control, I do still feel emotions. Much like Vulcans. Now to let the music speak for itself.


8) NAS “The World is Yours”







“I sip the Dom P, watchin’ Gandhi til I’m charged. Then writin’ in my book of rhymes, all the words pass the margin.”


7) EMINEM “Rabbit Run”







“Some days I just wanna up and call it quits. I feel like I’m surrounded by a wall of bricks. Every time I go to get up I just fall in pits. My life’s like one, great, big ball of shit!”


6) EMINEM “Till I Collapse”







“Music is like magic. There’s a certain feeling you get when you’re real and you spit, and people are feeling your shit. This is your moment, and every single minute you spend trying to hold onto it ’cause you may never get it again.”


5) 50 CENT “Life’s on the Life”







“I came into rap humble. I don’t give a fuck now. I’ll serve anybody like niggas who hustle uptown.”


4) THE NOTORIOUS B.I.G. “The What”







“Fuck the world, don’t ask me for shit. Everything you get, you got to work hard for it.”


3) JAY-Z “U Don’t Know”







“I sell ice in the winter; I sell fire in hell. I am a hustler baby, I’ll sell water to a well.”


2) KANYE WEST “Bring Me Down”







“You see, if you ever wanted to ever be anything, there’d always be somebody that shoot down any dream. There’ll always be haters, that’s the way it is. Hater niggas marry hater bitches and have hater kids.”


1) KANYE WEST “Last Call”







“Now I could let these dream killers kill my self-esteem, or use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams.”


What are the songs that you listen to when you’re feeling blue?


Marc Johnson

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Published on May 02, 2013 13:27

April 18, 2013

Eurogames vs. Ameritrash

Over the past two years or so, I’ve gotten a new hobby–boardgaming. While I’ve talked about this before, I haven’t talked about the types of boardgames there are. It did seem overwhelming at first, but I quickly learned that there were only two types–Eurogames and Ameritrash. The names might tell you what they are, but in reality, a lot more goes into the terms than being made over here or there.


EUROTRASH


settlers of catan


1. Little to No Player Interaction


One of the first things I noticed was that I started playing games where I didn’t attack people or that they didn’t attack me. I did my turn and people did theirs and no one got eliminated. At the end of the game, we added up all our victory points and the one with the highest score won.


It seems counterproductive as you game to interact with people instead of playing solitaire, but there are advantages to this. People don’t get eliminated so they will play the entire game and never get left out. There are usually different paths to victory and they can pick their own strategy and stick to it.


You can kind of interfere with your opponent in a most basic passive aggressive way. You do something to help yourself as in laying down a track or building a road that interfered with what your opponent was going to do on his turn.


However, the biggest downside to this is that games tend to take longer because no one’s ever eliminated. If you’re used to playing games where there’s a last man standing, you may feel bored as you can’t attack anyone. But if you enjoy playing with house rules in Monopoly, you make like this fact. I don’t think the lack of player interaction would be as big of a problem as it is for some people if it weren’t for my next point.


2. Lack of Theme


Eurogames have no theme. They try to disguise it, but if you think about it, you can easily use boats and planes instead of trains, and cows and plaster instead of sheep and wood. The reason for this is that they design games with game mechanics in mind first. Now I do have a couple of Eurogames and I did buy them because of the mechanics, but I never feel immersed in the supposed theme.


It doesn’t help with almost every Eurogame has wooden cubes. As smart as I am, one of my weaknesses is the abstract. When I see a wooden cube, all I see is a wooden cube. I don’t see a spaceship, fish, train, etc. The same thing also happens when I see chit-chits (cardboard pieces). Everything has this blandness feel to it despite the wonderful colors.


3. Less Luck


While Eurogames do have luck, they have the tiniest bit of luck in them. There may be an event deck where you flip cards without knowing what’s going to happen or dice may decide things but they don’t destroy whole armies like in Risk. There will usually be only one luck altering part. There will rarely be more than one because then game will be a “luck fest.”


Minimizing the luck will make you feel more control of a game and its outcome. You won’t feel as if you lost because the other person got lucky or you were unlucky. Conversely, without luck there’s no “Aw man!” moments, and if someone has a huge lead, the other people won’t be able to catch up.


And a game without luck is a puzzle.


AMERITRASH


risk


1. Player vs. Player


PvP (player vs. player) is rampant in Ameritrash games. A lot of the times you must be the last man standing so to do that, you must eliminate other players by attacking them and destroying their resources, soldiers, land, etc.


PvP is great because it’s the one thing that brings out a variety of emotions in people. Most of the time it’s anger and frustration. But there’s nothing more satisfying than destroying your friend. After all, that’s what friendships are built on.


2. Plenty of Theme


Ameritrash games ooze theme. You can’t just easily replace one theme with another. You’d need to redesign the board, cards, figures, rules, pretty much everything. It’s hard to say why Ameritrash games have so much theme, but I think it’s the fact that they don’t use wooden cubes or much chit-chits. They may use a little, but they do try to make the pieces, figures, and pictures look like what they represent. I also think that they design games with a theme in mind first rather than a mechanic. Whether I’m battling the Borg or being the King of Tokyo, I find that I do feel like whatever character I am.


Because Ameritrash has plenty of theme, there are a lot of stories to tell. In fact, you’ll find yourself saying, “Remember when…” You just don’t get that feeling with a Eurogame even if it’s a good and close game.


3. Are You Feeling Lucky?


Depending on the game, Ameritrash games luck mechanic varies wildly. In either case, their luck based mechanics do come at you from a variety of angles. While I’m great at games, my luck isn’t the best. That may balance things, but when the deck or dice or whatever it may be doesn’t go your way, it sucks. On the bright side, there’s nothing sweeter than hitting that 100 to 1 odds and beating all your friends.


Are Eurogames better than Ameritrash or vice versa? Of course not. It all depends on what you’re looking for. People might not quickly like Eurogames because it takes more than one play to understand the strategy. People might not like Ameritrash because of all the luck involved. I hope this helps you understand what you may or may not like when playing a game.


And don’t ask me what cooperative games fall under.


Marc Johnson

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Published on April 18, 2013 12:42

April 7, 2013

Why I Really Hired An Editor

Those people who know me, know that I’m a very arrogant confident man in most everything. I’m self-assured and combined with my keen intellect, emotional control, and high standards, I tend to drive people crazy. I tend to know a lot about everything because everything interests me. With all that in mind, why would I hire an editor? Despite all that, I know of my weaknesses and try to improve them and most of all, I need guidance.


Writing’s a tricky thing. You have NO guidance and no way of knowing how good you truly are. In most things, there’s competition of some sort. You compare yourself against other teams or individuals. There are times, victories, distances, etc., where you truly know how good you are. In writing, there’s none of that.


It’s a solitary pursuit and the quality of the product means very little. You can write a bad book and sell millions and you can write a good book and sell nothing.


To get back on track, I needed guidance and still do. I wanted to write a good product, but more importantly, I wanted to write the story I wanted to tell. I wanted to have something I would be happy with. And I am not an easy man to please.


I’m not a rich man, but I saved money until I could afford to hire my editor. It still amazes me on what other writers spend their money on. I see a lot of writers go to multiple conventions a year. That is probably the biggest money sink of them all. I personally think those conventions are a waste of time unless you want to have fun, see your friends, meet a celebrity or two, game, and relax. I would never go just for writing though. At best, you could network and networking with people would take multiple conventions. I also believe cons are best when you’re already established and making a name for yourself and most are not.


Writing conferences are also another one I see people go to. I’ll never understand that one. People go to conferences to see agents, editors, and publishers for a few minutes. Those are some expensive minutes to get a little bit of time to someone who will probably forget you.


Now, I like the going away for a couple of weeks to Clarion or some other writing program. To me, that’s a bootcamp for writing for anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks. There are problems though. First, you have to qualify and get in. Secondly, you have to basically put your life on hold for awhile.


Instead of going away for a few weeks, I like hiring an editor instead. Yes, you pay your editor and you only get one point of view, but you do work closely with her. I found it to be a lot like working with a teacher who you didn’t have to share.


Anyways, that’s why I hired an editor and where I put most of my money. Do I believe it was worth it? You tell me.


Marc Johnson

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Published on April 07, 2013 23:07

March 19, 2013

Top 4 Overrated Movies of 2012

2012 was the Year of the Geek when it came to movies. While there were some great movies like The Avengers, surprising movies like 21 Jump Street, and underrated movies like The Cabin in the Woods, there were also some stinkers.


Stinkers such as Total Recall, Prometheus, The Amazing Spider-Man, Snow White and the Huntsman, Haywire, Taken 2, American Reunion, and I can go on and on. Now that I think about it, 2012 was actually a BAD year for movies.


But I’m not here to talk about those movies I wasted hours of my life I can’t get back on. I’m here to talk about the Overrated Movies of 2012. You know, the ones people think are actually good, but are in reality, bad.


Spoilers ahead!


4. WRECK-IT RALPH



I’ve heard a few geeks proclaim this as one of the greatest animated movies ever. After watching it, I was like, ‘huh?’


Don’t get me wrong, Wreck-It Ralph is a good movie, but it’s not a great movie. However, it is the only good movie on the list. Out of all the animated movies that have ever existed, it’s probably not even in the top 50. The movie starts off great. It shows you Ralph and you feel sad for him that he’s lonely because he’s a bad guy. It’s also a pretty standard hero’s journey story. But when it gets to Sugarland and Vanellope, it stops being Ralph’s movie and starts being Vanellope’s. While that’s not a bad thing per say, it is called Wreck-It Ralph so you expect it to be about his story not Vanellope’s.


3. THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY




It’s hard for this to be an overrated movie since plenty of things worked against it. Splitting it into three movies and having characters that weren’t in the book were probably the biggest reasons. But the first trilogy made a gazillion dollars and having Peter Jackson back on the movie(s) built the hype back up.


Now, I’ve seen a lot of movies, but The Hobbit had the worst opening I’ve ever seen in a movie. They spent 15-20 minutes of useless exposition. No one cared or even knew about the dwarves yet the narrator babbled on and on about it. The villain(?), Smaug, was only glimpsed at the beginning and the end. That pretty much set the tone for the entire film, but things actually got worse.


I’ve seen situations in movies that are so ridiculous and the characters know it is, that it completely loses tension. Case in point:







For some strange reason, Peter Jackson included a very similar chase scene as the dwarves and Gandalf are fleeing from the goblins. It just seemed very cartoonish and never once did you feel any sort of worry for the characters. At the end of the chase scene, they all fall hundreds of feet down and have the fat Goblin King land on them. And no one’s bruised, battered, hurt, or killed from such a fall.


I should also point out that while this movie is called The Hobbit, it’s not about the hobbit at any point. Bilbo’s kind of there, but doesn’t really influence anything or do anything. I’m sure Bilbo would have had his own character arc much like Wreck-It Ralph, if it was one movie.


2. SKYFALL



In one very important way, Skyfall and Wreck-It Ralph are very similar. They both rely on the viewer’s memories. Whereas Ralph’s succeeded and was far more subtle, Skyfall’s failed. The reason people love this movie is for those nostalgic memories. Yet if they bothered to look past those obvious in-jokes, they’d realize that Skyfall doesn’t have much in the way of plot.


Much like the number one movie on my list, the main character isn’t in the first half of the movie after the first few minutes. But Bond’s not alone because the villain also doesn’t make his appearance until an hour later. There’s nothing like watching a movie without a main hero or villain.


When they finally surface, neither of them are very interesting. Bond’s a shadow of himself for getting shot, as if he hadn’t faced death before. Silva has the most convoluted plans all to just eventually go into a courthouse and shoot M. M does die but not from that gun shot or even by Silva’s own hand, which makes it very anti-climatic.


Skyfall is actually a reboot of the Bond series, more so than Casino Royale ever was. They replace M, introduce Moneypenny and a new Q, and literally blow up every iconic thing from the previous Bond movies. I suppose in that way, it succeeded, but in everything else it failed.


There was one last thing they also got rid of in the reboot of Bond movies. They finally got rid of all the humor and charm.


1. THE DARK KNIGHT RISES



It should be no surprise that The Dark Knight Rises tops my list. Much like Skyfall, its two main protagonists were barely in it. Batman was busy moping over the death of his kind of girlfriend and then in a hole, and Gordon was bedridden in a hospital and then in a hole. While I did enjoy Catwoman, she wasn’t in the movie enough and the movie wasn’t about her. There were other characters that we unfortunately followed around. But neither Robin or the other cop were interesting. And in the final movie in a trilogy, you probably shouldn’t introduce more than two new characters. This one had five. Maybe it was one for each hour.


The biggest problem with The Dark Knight Rises was that it tried to do too much so it ended up doing nothing particularly well. It became very bloated and dragged on.


Much like Skyfall, Bane and Tahlia also had a complicated plan. And while I get the whole, “we want to see you suffer” thing, Batman wasn’t there to experience the suffering. The villains didn’t seem to know what they wanted. Did they want to hold Gotham and by extension, America hostage or did they want to blow Gotham up? Conversely, the Gruber brothers in the Die Hard films also had complicated plans, but that was to throw everyone off while they steal lots of money.


If Bane and Tahlia wanted to blow Gotham up, they shouldn’t have had three months of nothingness. I’ve never seen a movie before where the ticking time bomb takes three months to blow up. If they wanted to hold Gotham ransom and make some sort of political point, they should have shown what happens when there’s no law. The streets were oddly empty, no one looked hungry or cold, and at best, the people looked like they were out partying for a day instead of looking all haggard.


Also, no one of importance died. I was hoping Batman would die, but I actually expected Morgan Freeman to die so that they wouldn’t take the bomb. But he just let them have it. I guess Bane died…by getting shot with a Bat-missile by Catwoman’s hand and off camera in one of the most anti-climatic scenes ever.


I could go on and on about how bad The Dark Knight Rises was, but I won’t. Oddly enough, I did enjoy Bane’s voice. Mainly because it gave me a new accent to try out and I think I do a pretty good Bane. If I still had a podcast, I would have done an episode entirely in Bane’s voice.


Were there any other overrated movies I missed? Let me know!


Marc Johnson

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Published on March 19, 2013 20:13