R.M. Engelhardt's Blog: Burn Brightly, page 16

The Early Hours : Adam Zagajewski

 

The early hours of morning: you still aren’t writing

(rather, you aren’t even trying), you just read lazily.

Everything is idle, quiet, full, as if

it were a gift from the muse of sluggishness,

just as earlier, in childhood, on vacation, when a colored

map was slowly scrutinized before a trip, a map

promising so much, deep ponds in the forest

like glittering butterfly eyes, mountain meadows drowning in sharp grass;

or the moment before sleep, when no dreams have appeared,

but they whisper their approach from all parts of the world,

their march, their pilgrimage, their vigil at the sickbed

(grown sick of wakefulness), and the quickening among medieval figures

compressed in endless stasis over the cathedral;

the early hours of morning, silence

-you still aren’t writing,

you still understand so much.

Joy is close.

(Translation by Clare Cavanagh)

Only Once …

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

~ Bob Marley

Beauty, Midnight, Vision

Beauty, midnight, vision dies:

Let the winds of dawn that blow

Softly round your dreaming head

Such a day of welcome show

Eye and knocking heart may bless,

Find the mortal world enough;

Noons of dryness find you fed

By the involuntary powers,

Nights of insult let you pass

Watched by every human love.

~ W.H. Auden

IN THE ABSENCE OF LIGHTS

Dark-mirrored hallways

a dim precision march

Here we have tread before

Without fear/Well measured

Pagan desires and objective

Study. Pavlov’s dog is still

Breathing, his cigarette falls

To the floor and he dances like

a manic animal. Lost in the

headlights, accidents shall

occur once more. There are

no excuses left for avatars,

no reasons left for men,

only lights in the doorways

flicker and then they slowly

===F===A===D===E

(to grey)

(to grey)

(to grey)

out.

exit.



_________________________________

 

R.M. ENGELHARDT

Even So …

Even so, when the framework of the world is dissolved, and the final hour, closing so many ages, reverts to pristine chaos, then the fiery stars will drop into the sea, and the earth will shake off the ocean…and the whole distracted firmament will overthrow its laws.”

~ Marcus Annaeus Lucanus (Lucan, Roman Poet)

CELINE

“We never change! Neither our socks nor our masters nor our opinions, or we’re so slow about it that it’s no use. We were born loyal, and that’s what killed us! Soldiers free of charge, heroes for everyone else, talking monkeys, tortured words, we are the minions of King Misery. He’s our lord and master! When we misbehave, he tightens his grip… his fingers are around our neck, that makes it hard to talk, got to be careful if we want to eat… For nothing at all he’ll choke you… It’s not a life…”





~
 Louis-Ferdinand Céline

“Amen”

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“Amen”

“He who lets himself be whored by fashion will be ...

 

 

 

“He who lets himself be whored by fashion will be whored by time.”

~ Thomas Wolfe, You Can’t Go Home Again

WORDS ON WRITING

 

 

“I think the difference between a lie and a story is that a story utilizes the trappings and appearance of truth for the interest of the listener as well as of the teller. A story has in it neither gain nor loss. But a lie is a device for profit or escape. I suppose if that definition is strictly held to, then a writer of stories is a liar–if he is financially fortunate.”

~ John Steinbeck, East of Eden

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JOHN STEINBECK

“It has been your habit for long to do away with good wri...

“It has been your habit for long to do away with good writers,

You either drive them mad, or else blink at their suicides,

Or else you condone their drugs, and talk of insanity and

genius,

But I will not go mad to please you.”

~ Ezra Pound