Robin Gilbert Luftig's Blog, page 6

Who We Are

Life experiences form our impressions of the world around us. It’s difficult to see beyond what we know. These experiences, sometime when we don’t even know it, shape us into who we are.

Maybe we were raised in the country, maybe in the city. While country living may be foreign to city dwellers, subways and traffic’s honking horns may be everyday facts of life.

What about pets? When a person  grows up walking, feeding, and scooping after them, the concept of responsibility might be different than someone who only had plants.

Many people grew up in happy traditional families, while others encountered the challenges only found in a single-parent home.

Some had siblings, some grew up along.

Why is this important to acknowledge?

While these harmless differences can spur on fun conversations–cat people and dog people can lightheartedly debate which is better–they typically don’t divide friendships or family.

There is a basic level of respect surrounding differences. But recently, if we look, we’ll see people around us that focus on differences instead of similarities, and stress over the difference in opinions.

Here’s a short video that gives a taste of  how many differences there can be.

We are all different Different is … Different

If we were all the same life would be boring. If we all have the same opinions, there’s nothing to challenge why we believe the way we do. Parents see this when raising small children. Parents give them directions and opinions to follow. As they grow, they take these opinions… pull them apart and study them closely … and see if they can truly believe and own them for their own. That’s the way it should be. Challenging their opinions is the only way they can fully understand them.

Over the next few weeks this country will experience more possible civil unrest than ever before. All because of political differences. If your neighbor has a different political sign in their yard as you, can you still respect them?

Of course you can.

Consider walking back

If you find yourself sensitive to the differences around you, consider walking back from where these differences are most previlent until November 5th. Often, social media is not our friend. If seeing opinions that you don’t like and that upset you, turn off Facebook and Twitter (X).It’s that simple. Your peace has unmeasurable value. And besides, people don’t change their opinions because of facts, the change them because of feelings.

What are more important, relationships or opinions?

Remember, unless you hear the words directly from the speaker’s mouth, everything you hear or read has been filtered by someone else’s opinion. Quotes are being mischaracterized. Videos are being edited. Manipulation is rampant.

We must remember who we are.

What are more important, relationships or opinions? We must remember who we are.
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If the rhetoric from either side of political aisle is separating you from friends or family, reconsider your focus. If you need to challenge your own position and consider these words:

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.
Matthew 7:12

“That we take not other men’s opinions or manners for a rule of life, but that we wholly renouncing this world, set before us as our mark, the will of God”.
Romans 12:12

“Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the kind”.
1 Peter 2:17

As we all approach Election Day, let’s remember who we are and consider these points:

After Election Day, God will still be on the throne.Nobody holds a political office that God doesn’t allow. ( Romans 13:1 )If we focus on God’s plan for our lives, we will find peace.What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post Who We Are appeared first on Robin Luftig.

How to Change a Life

Friends come in all shapes and sizes. They may part of your life then leave. Or sometimes you make a relationship as children and carry that closeness into adulthood. Sometimes friendships end. While it may be sad to see the ending of a friendship, they just play themselves out. Adversely, some friendships are often only meant for a season–for a moment. But don’t take any of them lightly. They all hold the ingredients, and scripture holds the directions on how to change a life.

God Created Us to be Relational

God had a specific plan when he put us together. From the stories of David and Jonathan, beginning in 1 Samuel 18, we see the importance and power of friendship. Theirs was a friendship that lasted for a lifetime.

God Valued Friendship

The passing of time doesn’t own friendships. I have friends from high school who I haven’t seen for years. But at my last class reunion, my heart rejoiced from all the love shared between folks there. It was commonality that we shared that made these friendships valuable.

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 18:24

God Appointed?

Are friendships God appointed? If we were asked if a friendship changed our life I’m confident we can all think of at least one person who changed the trajectory of our future.

Listen to this woman, Miss “A”, whose life was changed by one person. That person, primarily known as a teacher, but also as an attentive and caring friend.

Meet Miss “A” Power Found in Friendships

Never doubt that friendship have the power to change a life. Be a friend. Seek a friend out. Once you’ve added that dimension to your life, you’ll smile more. You may even cry more. But for sure you will be blessed more–far beyond your imagination.

Never doubt that friendship have the power to change a life.
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What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

 

The post How to Change a Life appeared first on Robin Luftig.

A Lament for TC

October is Domestic Awareness Month. This post is dedicated to a special woman: a Lament for TC.

One Fall several years ago, I began that season in my life with a new purpose: volunteering at a battled women’s shelter. My goal was to make a difference in the lives of hurting women.

I Was So Excited

After months of training, I was finally allowed to know the shelter’s location. During my first time there I met TC*, a beautiful young girl mother with long blonde hair and sad gray eyes. TC had a four-year old daughter named Jennie, who was a slighter version of her mother but just as beautiful. A beating by her husband once again caused the police to bring her and Jennie to the shelter for a reprieve. We were all encouraged and excited when she declared that would be the last beating she’d take from him.

All of the volunteers fell in love with TC and Jennie. We taught TC mom tips on healthy food choices as well as different ways to encourage her daughter how to steer aways from bad choices. Day after day we worked with her on different life skills … from balancing a checkbook to applying for a job.

A Great Process

They both thrived from the love we offered at the shelter. TC told us for the first time in years not only did she stop fearing life, but she actually looked forward to her future. We watched as she became stronger each day, more self-confident and eager to move out of the shelter and into a place of her own. We always stressed safety with them. TC’s court-appointed attorney, as well as the police who regularly stopped by, told her never to be alone with her husband. He had hurt them before; there was no knowing what he’d do now since there were charges against him.

Soon the time came when we had finally gathered enough supplies for a new apartment for TC and Jennie. What a time of celebration. TC said she could actually see a light at the end of their tunnel of abuse.

Life moved on for TC. She settled into her new place, decorating it with donated trinkets and baubles. It looked like a palace. All the volunteers took turns stopping by to visit her, making sure she had everything she needed.  As the holiday season inched closer, all the volunteers  pulled together and purchased a Christmas tree, decorations, and a few new presents for her and Jennie. Life was beginning anew for them.

Life was looking up for this mother and daughter.

Maybe it was because of the holiday spirit, or maybe it was loneliness, but TC let her guard down when her husband called on Christmas morning and asked to come over to bring presents for her and their daughter. We told her never to be alone with him, but after all, it was Christmas. What could happen?

Lots happened.

A man walking his dog in TC’s neighborhood helped pull together the facts of the morning. As we learned, when TC opened her door, Tom greeted her with  a gun pointed at her face. In a moment there was one shot  and TC fell dead. He then grabbed little Jennie and dragged her to his truck. When more neighbors heard the shot and Jennie’s screams, they started pouring into the street to see what had happened. TC was found dead and lying in the opened doorway. Focus then turned to the sounds of Jennie’s cries from Tom’s truck parked in the street. While neighbors in the street began encircling the truck begging him to let Jennie go, others made calls to 9-1-1.

Tom Wasn’t Done

Apparently, agitated by Jennie’s screams, Tom pulled Jennie into his lap as he put the barrel of the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. Jennie, dripping with blood, squirmed away from his slouched body, unlocked the truck’s door, and made her way to the arms of waiting neighbors. When the EMT’s arrived, some confirmed TC’s death while others rushed Jennie and Tom to the hospital.  There, they pulled Tom from Death’s door two separate times. Jennie was examined and it was determined that no physical harm had come to her.**

I thought I was going to change the world when I started volunteering at the shelter. Little did I know that TC would change mine.

I thought I'd change the world when I started volunteering at a domestic violence shelter. Little did I know how my life would change. #Domesticviolencemonth
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Domestic abuse is real. TC was the first woman I worked with who tried to leave domestic violence. She had been given the tools to start a new life, yet she still died at the hands of her abuser.

God did not mean for people to treat each other violently. Please pray for all who deal with domestic abuse.

To the Abused … Contact https://www.thehotline.org/ if you need assistance. Don’t let shame stop you.  I pray you’ll use truth and knowledge instead of emotion and fear when dealing with your abuser.

* Actual initials of the person in this story

** Tom recovered but was permanently blinded by the gunshot. He was sent to prison for first degree murder. Because he refused to give up custody of Jennie, she stayed in foster homes until she turned 18.

What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post A Lament for TC appeared first on Robin Luftig.

When Life Seems Right

If you know me at all, you know my best writing time is in the wee hours of the morning. Here’s the view from my desk in the early hours. When it’s dark and most people are still sleeping. That’s when my light (figuratively as well as literally) goes on. Ideas flow for me then. That’s when Life seems right with all man and beast.

Scripture tells us that God appreciates the dark skies as well.

The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
Psalms 19:1-2

Knowledge Revealed

God created both day and night, for the just and unjust. We watch as His brilliance fills each day with a promise of a new beginning. Beauty will soon be found in winter mornings of Central Pennsylvania; these moments can be stunning. It’s worth the effort if you have the opportunity to begin the morning watching the day chase away the night. I imagine the mornings where you are can show reveal God’s handiwork as well. I promise you, if you allow yourself to stop and watch as “the skies proclaim the works of His hands”, your day will be blessed. You, too, can experience when life seems right.

If you allow yourself to stop and watch the skies proclaim the works of His hands, your day will be blessed. You, too, can experience when life seems right.
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What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst,  or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post When Life Seems Right appeared first on Robin Luftig.

The Loneliness in Faith

Stories of faith encourage me–encourage many of us. We read of the struggle, pain, and the loneliness in faith that accompanies many of the greats in faith.

Need a reminder?

Prayer moves the heart of God. “… The prayer of a righteous person has great power” James 5:16 (ESV). Elijah prayed fervently and God sent showers of blessing. There were two outcomes: the people turned back to God (1 Kings 18:39-40) and the drought came to an end (1 Kings 18:41-45).

But there’s also the utter loneliness and emptiness (1 Kings 19:3-4) that proceeds to tested faith.

Not long ago I experienced loneliness in my faith.

You, Robin … Really?

Really.

The only thing that got me from one day to the next was faithful prayer warriors. Some were local, yet others were across the country. Northern states. Southern. Some lived on water, and others lived on mountains.

There's a loneliness in faith. No matter who you are, you will hit a wall and wonder if your faith is real.
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Prayer Can Move the Heart of God

If someone asks for prayer, don’t take that lightly. The loneliness in faith is real. Prayers can change the heart of God.

What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post The Loneliness in Faith appeared first on Robin Luftig.

A Caged Canary

Coal mining in the 20th century many times included taking a caged canary into the depths underground. These birds were sensitive to carbon monoxide, a potentially deadly gas devoid of color, taste or smell, that often formed in the mines.

What’s the Big Deal?

A dead bird in the cage meant the miners needed to be alert–deadly conditions were at hand.

What That Means to Us?

Watching the political banter over the past months has been telling. Pointing fingers and one-upping from both sides of the aisle took front and center stage while often pressing issues were left untouched.

I think the caged canary has stopped singing. Please, let’s all heed the issues at hand that prove to be deadly.

A caged canary was used to warn miners when danger was near. What are today's voters looking for to find safety?
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We still have time.

What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post A Caged Canary appeared first on Robin Luftig.

Power of a Single Word

We all have ways to stay focused … because honestly, when times get tough, we need a reason to keep going. Lately, society has needed to face trails like never before. The economy. Safety in our neighborhoods. Arguments between family members. Even the status of world events.

Life Can be Daunting

To help me focus in, I keep a short list of some of God’s many promises posted on my computer screen. These verses all include the word, “indeed”. When God speaks he doesn’t have to stress his point, but it speaks volumes when he does. There can be power in a single word.

Indeed!

In our search for deep meanings, we often overlook the Power of a Single Word. God has confidence his plans for us.
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What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post Power of a Single Word appeared first on Robin Luftig.

Five Things to Say to Your Adult Children

 

As a parent of three grown children, I’m still always looking to improve my relationship with them. I came across a great post from Shelly Beach and knew I had to share it these Five Things to Say to Your Adult Children with you. 

When my two kids hit their college years, they ran from our house like Jessie Owens at the Berlin Olympics.

And I don’t blame them. I’m pretty sure they were running from me. It wasn’t because I’d nearly snuffed out their young lives with my horrific cooking. But more because I was a Control-a-holic. Not that I would have admitted it or even recognized it back then.

I thought I was being a good mother.

A mother who happened to believe her kids should agree with her, think like her, never question her about the hard stuff, and never smoke, drink, chew or listed to that “other” music.

I panicked when they talked too much like Democrats and became old enough to make their own choices about alcohol. I panicked about their friends about things I imagined they might be doing when they were out of the house.

But I was afraid to trust God with my kids.

Deep down I feared they’d get really angry and confront God with all the messy questions I’d never been allowed to ask. No one in my growing-up churches ever questioned God. My children–our children–were raised in churches that majored on the minors and totally missed the majors. But I’m in no position to blame my churches because I missed so many of “the majors” in my own life–majors in parenting, loving my children, my husband and my God.

As parents, we probably all recognize and even regret our imperfections, mistakes and shortcomings.Those things are in the past, and we can’t change them. But we don’t have to be bound to the past. Here are five things I want to say to my kids today:

As parents, we probably all recognize and even regret our imperfections, mistakes and shortcomings.Those things are in the past, and we can’t change them. But we don’t have to be bound to the past.

One: I’m proud of you and love you unconditionally.

I’m sorry for the parental mess-ups. I think my love came out looking more like a checklist than love way too often. I’m sorry I didn’t do it better but I promise I tried with everything I had. I thank heaven you’ve turned out to be God’s unique, charming, amazing version of you. I will always love you, no matter how tough things may get.

Two: Ask for wisdom or counsel, but don’t ask for permission.

Shortly after my son got married, he and his wife came to visit Dan and me. The four of us headed out for a day of family sightseeing and had arrived at our local zoo when my son asked me if it was okay if he smoked a cigar. I thought it was a sweet gesture, knowing he’d asked out of respect. But he was now a man and head of his own household. He didn’t need to ask his mother’s permission. I gently told him so and said that if he had concerns he should ask his wife. His dad and I were happy to offer wisdom and counsel, but he no longer needed our permission to make decisions, even when he was in our presence.

Three: I am always praying God’s best for your life.

Years passed when my husband and I saw very little of our son and daughter. In her late teens and early twenties, our daughter was living in remote and often dangerous locations all over the world. In many instances, her life was at risk and her calls would begin with words like, “I’m calling you, so you know I’m alive, but I need to tell you…” Our faith was stretched, to say the least. At times I wanted to ask God if somebody else’s child could do this kind of mission work. But deep down, I always knew Jessica was doing what God had called her and equipped her to do.

No matter if your adult child is living like a sinner or living like a saint, they need to know you support them. This doesn’t mean you must always support their choices. But they know you unswervingly desire the best for them and love them. You are always praying God’s best for their life and prosperity.

Four: I’m always here for you.

I’m always here to help. I won’t erase the consequences of your actions, but I will help you face them with integrity and courage. I will help you face sorrow when it comes. I will love you enough to tell you when you are acting in ways that hurt or disrespect others and help you grow through your inevitable weaknesses. I will listen when you confront me about mine and work to be transparent and dedicated to my own spiritual and personal growth. I will try to be here for you in a way that shows the heart and humility of Jesus.

Five: Please be patient. God’s not finished with me yet.

I’m imperfect. Parts of me are still broken and raggedy. I will still disappoint you and mess up. Maturity in years doesn’t always equal maturity in all areas of life. You probably know some of those areas better than I do. You may even be able to help me understand myself better and we could talk about those things sometime. If there’s something you think needs to be set right between us, I’d like you to bring it to me. I love you, and I want us to have the best relationship possible. Maybe you’ve been more than patient already. Thank you. Just know that I don’t want to give up on us. You’re too important to me.

I’m grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to say many of these things to my adult kids over the years. And I’ve been blessed with amazing, life-infusing responses.

When we struggle as parents, consider these five things to say to your adult children. It may give you suggestions for your own five things.
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What about you? What have you said to your adult children or parent/s that has made a positive difference in your relationship? ou may want to consider sharing these five Things with your adult children.

What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post Five Things to Say to Your Adult Children appeared first on Robin Luftig.

It May Be Challenging Now

Time may seem like it stands still until you look back over the years. You may think preparing for school is challenging now, but try … oh, please try … to embrace each day. When I look back over different times in my life, this is what I found.

August 1983

The cool air stirred and long sun rays of morning greeted us as we walked the long driveway to meet an unknown world. It took everything in me to stop from crying.

“Today will be a great day!” I said, with too much pep in my voice. I wanted to make sure I told him all he needed to know for this special morning. “You’ll meet new people and it’ll be terrific!”

We continued to walk, hand in hand as we always had in the past. He stopped, looked up into my eyes, and with a sober voice, “It is a great day, right, Mommy?”

Little Sis skipped along singing Great day, It’s gonna be a great day … She had no idea the somberness of this moment. But how could she? How could she know what it felt like to lose a firstborn into an Unknown World?

Soon the bus pulled up and stopped, throwing open its doors. Big Brother climbed what seemed to be oversized steps as he entered the bowels of the yellow-orange bus that would take him away. I watched from the driveway as he found a seat by the window and settled in for the ride. The top of his head was all I could see as the bus wheezed, jerked a bit, and then drove away.

Tears washed my face all the way home. Once inside, Little Sis and I filled our morning with lots of nothing special, passing the time until Big Brother returned. When we caught a glimpse of the big yellow-orange bus turning the corner to approach our house, we ran out to greet him. Once off the bus, we smothered him with hugs and kisses. Big Brother walked differently on the way home–a bit taller, his shoulders, a bit straighter. He had faced the giant called Kindigar’n and had stories to tell!

I survived the first day of school.

August 1984

Once again, the three of us walked down the long driveway. As before, I did everything I could not cry. This time, Big Brother held Little Sis’s hand as we strolled along.

“Today’s a great day!” Big Brother told his sister. “I did this last year. You’ll be great.”

It was Little Sis’s turn to square her shoulders when the yellow-orange bus pulled up. Without a look back, she marched up the huge steps just as Big Brother prepared her to do. She trusted him. They were together and would be fine.

I walk back to the house alone. All morning, I walked from one room to another, trying to fill the emptiness with some pretense of purpose.

That afternoon, the yellow-orange bus pulled to our stop. Big Brother and Little Sis came bounding down the steps. My arms ached just a bit for the babies who had grown up so quickly. But I’d made it. I survived my second first day of school.

August 1995

My baby … Youngest Boy … and I sat on the front steps of our new home and waited for the yellow-orange bus. Youngest Boy’s older siblings were already arguing about getting the best seats on the bus. But Youngest Boy and I stayed apart, getting a sense of what was in store for each of us.

“Today’s a great day,” I bumped his shoulder with mine, hoping my peaceful demeanor would give him confidence.

“Really Mommy, a great day?”

“One of the greatest ever!” I hugged Youngest Boy close.

Too soon the yellow-orange bus stopped in front of the house and my three gifts from God rambled up the steps, with Youngest Boy needing some assistance. Tears flowed once again as I watched the bus round the corner and drive out of sight. I sighed, went back into the house, and drank my coffee.

I had survived my last first day of school.

It May Be Challenging Now
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August 2012

Driving to work this morning, I watched from my car as mommies walked their young ones to the different bus stops along my route. I saw them wipe tears away as they did their best to ready their precious babies to meet their own Unknown World. I reflected on my own firsts. Then it hit me: Today I am facing the first day in twenty-nine years when I don’t have a child experiencing some kind of school.

The days of elementary, middle, high school, or college–have left me behind.

For a fleeting moment, I longed for just one more shopping trip to pick out the perfect backpack, the most awesome outfits, or the most confusing calculator.

In a blink

It doesn’t seem all that long ago that I watched a big yellow beast carry my sweet ones into a new season of their lives. I can still see the top of Big Brother’s head through the bus window, the squared shoulders of Little Sis as she marched into her future, and the tenderness of Youngest Boy as he struggled with mastering the bus steps.

I think I’m going to text my three children and let them know that I’m very proud of them. They have met their Unknown World and survived …

And I did, too.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens
Ecclesiastics 3:1

 
Reposted from August 22, 2012. 

What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post It May Be Challenging Now appeared first on Robin Luftig.

Division Between Friends

The days are getting longer and, during these political times, more challenging. I’ve seen more division between friends than I’ve ever seen before.

Your Purpose

Don’t forget your purpose. God’s very clear on this.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18

 

We all know this but often forget, because it’s easy to lose focus on purpose during these days.

Bite your lip and hang in there. Friendships are precious, sometimes very delicate, and worth the effort.

God’s not surprised about what’s happening. Let’s keep our focus on His plan. There, we can find strength and peace. And do whatever you can to stop the division between friends. At Thanksgiving when you’re sitting the table with those who tried to argue with you, you’ll be glad you did.

Political conversations often cause division between friends. But it's possible to still talk current events without causing harm.
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What say you?

What do you wonder about?  Are you happy … or are you doing what you never thought you’d do? Do you see consistencies … or are you all over the place? Drop me a line. I’d love to chat.

Struggling to find good in your life? Check out my award-winning book, God’s Best During Your Worst, or check out any of my other books on my Book page.

The post Division Between Friends appeared first on Robin Luftig.