Annette Dashofy's Blog, page 15
October 26, 2016
Mom Update
It’s been a while since I wrote anything about my mom. If you follow me on Facebook, you’ve probably noticed a number of posts recently about long nights in the ER with her. I appreciate the kind concerns and prayers from friends and family. But while I know they’re well intended, the “hope she gets well soon” sentiments cut like a finely honed blade.
Mom isn’t going to get well. She has good days and bad. More and more of the latter. Today’s “good days” are about the same as the bad ones a couple months ago. She has vascular dementia.
In addition to her mental slippage, her legs have grown weak and uncooperative, adding to her pre-existing balance issues. We plead with her to call for assistance to get out of bed. Unfortunately, she can’t remember that she’s had numerable falls lately, so she continues to try to get up and around on her own, resulting in more falls.
And in more trips to the ER.
She has dislocated her right hip twice now. She’s hit her head more times than I can count. But she takes it in stride for the most part. And, except for the hip dislocations, she doesn’t complain of any pain. A blessing to be sure.
She knows family members. Most of the time, at least. There are days when she gets a blank look in her eyes, and I have doubts, but most of the time she clearly knows us.
What she never knows is what time of the day it is, what day of the week it is, that Tuesday follows Monday. She sometimes sees things that aren’t there or misinterprets what she does see.
The staff at her nursing home is wonderful. They do their utmost to keep her safe, but she’s a fast little old woman…in bed asleep one moment then you blink and she’s out of bed, in the bathroom, and on the floor. So please don’t tell me I should move her to someplace else because of her falls. Short of hiring someone who doesn’t sleep or need bathroom breaks to sit and watch her 24/7, there is no way to completely avoid the mishaps. We’re in the process of getting an alarm for her bed, which I hope will at least help them catch her before she gets too far.
Anyhow, this is my life for now. Yes, I’m doing my best to take care of myself during this stressful time. No, I’m not always successful. Yes, I am deeply grateful for your thoughts, your prayers, and your kind words.
But no, Mom isn’t going to get well soon. However, I do appreciate the sentiment.
Mom, December 2013
Mom isn’t going to get well. She has good days and bad. More and more of the latter. Today’s “good days” are about the same as the bad ones a couple months ago. She has vascular dementia.
In addition to her mental slippage, her legs have grown weak and uncooperative, adding to her pre-existing balance issues. We plead with her to call for assistance to get out of bed. Unfortunately, she can’t remember that she’s had numerable falls lately, so she continues to try to get up and around on her own, resulting in more falls.
And in more trips to the ER.
She has dislocated her right hip twice now. She’s hit her head more times than I can count. But she takes it in stride for the most part. And, except for the hip dislocations, she doesn’t complain of any pain. A blessing to be sure.
She knows family members. Most of the time, at least. There are days when she gets a blank look in her eyes, and I have doubts, but most of the time she clearly knows us.
What she never knows is what time of the day it is, what day of the week it is, that Tuesday follows Monday. She sometimes sees things that aren’t there or misinterprets what she does see.
The staff at her nursing home is wonderful. They do their utmost to keep her safe, but she’s a fast little old woman…in bed asleep one moment then you blink and she’s out of bed, in the bathroom, and on the floor. So please don’t tell me I should move her to someplace else because of her falls. Short of hiring someone who doesn’t sleep or need bathroom breaks to sit and watch her 24/7, there is no way to completely avoid the mishaps. We’re in the process of getting an alarm for her bed, which I hope will at least help them catch her before she gets too far.
Anyhow, this is my life for now. Yes, I’m doing my best to take care of myself during this stressful time. No, I’m not always successful. Yes, I am deeply grateful for your thoughts, your prayers, and your kind words.
But no, Mom isn’t going to get well soon. However, I do appreciate the sentiment.
Mom, December 2013
October 19, 2016
Autumn in the Country
We finally have some fall color (and fog) around here, even as temperatures climbed into the 80s yesterday.
I have no doubt that one good rain and wind storm will strip the trees bare, so we need to enjoy the fleeting moment while it lasts.
I have no doubt that one good rain and wind storm will strip the trees bare, so we need to enjoy the fleeting moment while it lasts.
October 9, 2016
Bouchercon 2016--Part 3
Saturday morning, I attended another fun panel. This one was on spying and included my pal John Lawton.
I was so excited for my Pittsburgh Sisters in Crime Mary "Liz Milliron" Sutton and Paula Smith for making it into Blood on the Bayou, the Bouchercon anthology, I couldn't wait for the signing. I know how hard they've worked and it's great to see that hard work rewarded.
I had to rush from the anthology signing to my own panel.
The Henery Press gang met for drinks in the very crowded and very loud bar.
Then I headed down the street to my friend Ellen Byron's new book launch party. That's me and Eleanor Jones helping with promotion.
And for me, that wrapped up my New Orleans experience. I retreated to my room to pack for my early flight home.
Thanks to everyone who worked so tirelessly to put this convention together. It was a blast!
I was so excited for my Pittsburgh Sisters in Crime Mary "Liz Milliron" Sutton and Paula Smith for making it into Blood on the Bayou, the Bouchercon anthology, I couldn't wait for the signing. I know how hard they've worked and it's great to see that hard work rewarded.
I had to rush from the anthology signing to my own panel.
The Henery Press gang met for drinks in the very crowded and very loud bar.
Then I headed down the street to my friend Ellen Byron's new book launch party. That's me and Eleanor Jones helping with promotion.
And for me, that wrapped up my New Orleans experience. I retreated to my room to pack for my early flight home.
Thanks to everyone who worked so tirelessly to put this convention together. It was a blast!
October 8, 2016
Bouchercon 2016--Part 2
Friday at Bouchercon started with more beignets and another fun panel.
My pals, the Wicked Cozies held a get-together. Always great to hang out with this gang.
Then Martha, Susan, and I took off into the sweltering French Quarter for a long walk. I do mean sweltering. I think New Orleans may have been the place to inspire tattooed makeup, because the normal stuff melts off in minutes. We won't talk about my hair. Anyway, we had a great walk in spite of the muggies.
Loved this vintage clothing store!
I've seen this place on NCIS: New Orleans!
Susan Thibadeau snapping photos of the riverboat.
This street performer was fabulous, but he would have gotten a better donation had he not yelled at me for not putting my money in the can quickly enough.
Martha along the Mississippi River.
Heading back to the hotel, of course a trio of crime writers would spot a police vehicle!
To be continued...
My pals, the Wicked Cozies held a get-together. Always great to hang out with this gang.
Then Martha, Susan, and I took off into the sweltering French Quarter for a long walk. I do mean sweltering. I think New Orleans may have been the place to inspire tattooed makeup, because the normal stuff melts off in minutes. We won't talk about my hair. Anyway, we had a great walk in spite of the muggies.
Loved this vintage clothing store!
I've seen this place on NCIS: New Orleans!
Susan Thibadeau snapping photos of the riverboat.
This street performer was fabulous, but he would have gotten a better donation had he not yelled at me for not putting my money in the can quickly enough.
Martha along the Mississippi River.
Heading back to the hotel, of course a trio of crime writers would spot a police vehicle!
To be continued...
October 7, 2016
Bouchercon 2016--Part 1
It's been a busy month. My trip to New Orleans for Bouchercon, library tour, various appointments and meetings... So yes, I'm late with my NOLA recap, but here are some of my photos and memories from the Big Easy.
Wednesday was my travel day. Had to stop and grab a picture of one of the Pittsburgh Airport statues: the Immaculate Reception with Franco Harris.
My sister in crime and critique partner Mary Sutton a.k.a. Liz Milliron and her hubby were on the same flight. Nice to have travel buddies.
The flights were smooth and on time. Here's my less-than-spectacular view from my room, but at least I was at the end of a hall, so it was quiet. This became more important as the week went along.
We went for a short stroll around the narrow streets of the French Quarter.
On Thursday, Bouchercon officially began. I had my first beignets for breakfast with Kaye Barley and Dave Magayna. Yummy! Great company too! Then it was time to take in some panels.
That's Kaye, the photographer, being photographed while photographing the panel.
The book room was awesome.
With a Vengeance sighting.
Did I mention Mary Sutton a.k.a Liz Milliron has a short story in Blood on the Bayou, the Bouchercon anthology? She got her hands on the book for the first time Thursday morning, I was there to share the moment and the squeals and to get some pictures.
Thursday afternoon, my room mate, Martha Reed, arrived. First stop was the Bourbon House with Susan Thibadeau and Martha. I discovered...I LIKE bourbon!
I already knew I liked creme brulee.
Another panel, this one with another sister in crime, Rebecca Drake (second from right) who is also part of the Writing Pittsburgh tour I'm on.
We rounded up a few close friends for dinner at the Creole House.
Opening ceremonies wrapped up the evening...for me.
The parties went on into the wee hours for others. But this gal crashed. The joys of jet lag.
To be continued...
Wednesday was my travel day. Had to stop and grab a picture of one of the Pittsburgh Airport statues: the Immaculate Reception with Franco Harris.
My sister in crime and critique partner Mary Sutton a.k.a. Liz Milliron and her hubby were on the same flight. Nice to have travel buddies.
The flights were smooth and on time. Here's my less-than-spectacular view from my room, but at least I was at the end of a hall, so it was quiet. This became more important as the week went along.
We went for a short stroll around the narrow streets of the French Quarter.
On Thursday, Bouchercon officially began. I had my first beignets for breakfast with Kaye Barley and Dave Magayna. Yummy! Great company too! Then it was time to take in some panels.
That's Kaye, the photographer, being photographed while photographing the panel.The book room was awesome.
With a Vengeance sighting.
Did I mention Mary Sutton a.k.a Liz Milliron has a short story in Blood on the Bayou, the Bouchercon anthology? She got her hands on the book for the first time Thursday morning, I was there to share the moment and the squeals and to get some pictures.
Thursday afternoon, my room mate, Martha Reed, arrived. First stop was the Bourbon House with Susan Thibadeau and Martha. I discovered...I LIKE bourbon!
I already knew I liked creme brulee.
Another panel, this one with another sister in crime, Rebecca Drake (second from right) who is also part of the Writing Pittsburgh tour I'm on.
We rounded up a few close friends for dinner at the Creole House.
Opening ceremonies wrapped up the evening...for me.
The parties went on into the wee hours for others. But this gal crashed. The joys of jet lag.
To be continued...
September 7, 2016
Countdown to Bouchercon--ONE WEEK
In one week from right now, I'll be at the airport, making my way through the security line.
I haven't started packing yet, although I've been giving it a lot of thought. Yesterday I got my hair touched up and my nails done, so I'll look more like an author and less like someone who sits at a computer all day in her pajamas, with her hair in a ponytail.
Umm... Okay. No comment.
Anyhow, I'm looking back at last year's Bouchercon at Raleigh, NC, and realize, I have very few photos. My critique buddy, Mary Sutton, who was also there, posted a look back yesterday on her blog, and she didn't have much photographic evidence either.
However, here is a photo of our panel, which was moderated by the phenomenal Janet Reid (not pictured--ever.) I feel short.
And here is me in the bar with a chocolate martini (see my post about Bouchercon in Cleveland to read about my love of chocolate martinis).
There was ONE moments NOT captured on film that will remain forever engraved in my memory: My frequent travel buddy Martha Reed's expression as she attempted to eat okra. It was classic. With a cloth napkin covering the lower half of her face, her eyes said it all. Hint: if you ever run into her, you should NOT ask if she wants okra with her meal.
Besides the okra though, the food was incredible. And inexpensive! Maybe that's why we took so few photos. We were always in one of the restaurants stuffing our faces!
Which may also be the case next week in New Orleans. But I'll try to at least take pictures. Especially if Martha attempts okra again.
I haven't started packing yet, although I've been giving it a lot of thought. Yesterday I got my hair touched up and my nails done, so I'll look more like an author and less like someone who sits at a computer all day in her pajamas, with her hair in a ponytail.
Umm... Okay. No comment.
Anyhow, I'm looking back at last year's Bouchercon at Raleigh, NC, and realize, I have very few photos. My critique buddy, Mary Sutton, who was also there, posted a look back yesterday on her blog, and she didn't have much photographic evidence either.
However, here is a photo of our panel, which was moderated by the phenomenal Janet Reid (not pictured--ever.) I feel short.
And here is me in the bar with a chocolate martini (see my post about Bouchercon in Cleveland to read about my love of chocolate martinis).
There was ONE moments NOT captured on film that will remain forever engraved in my memory: My frequent travel buddy Martha Reed's expression as she attempted to eat okra. It was classic. With a cloth napkin covering the lower half of her face, her eyes said it all. Hint: if you ever run into her, you should NOT ask if she wants okra with her meal.
Besides the okra though, the food was incredible. And inexpensive! Maybe that's why we took so few photos. We were always in one of the restaurants stuffing our faces!
Which may also be the case next week in New Orleans. But I'll try to at least take pictures. Especially if Martha attempts okra again.
August 31, 2016
Countdown to Bouchercon--Two Weeks
My first two Bouchercons were easy road trips as well as being pre-publication. My third one was 2014 in Long Beach. I had two books out and therefore could rationalize the plane tickets. I'd never been to the west coast, never seen the Pacific Ocean, and we're talking southern California in NOVEMBER, so to say I was excited was an understatement.
Leaving (cold Pittsburgh) on a jet plane...the sunrise over the clouds.
Long Beach and palm trees and 70 degree weather.
Henery Press was well represented...
...although we played hooky a bit, having some murderous fun while we were at it.
Book sightings!
I did head inside to watch a few panels.
And in spite of major jet lag, I made it to the Henery Press gathering prior to the evening festivities.
The next day, the Pittsburgh contingent (Martha Reed, Susan Thibadeau, and me) went for a walk down the street...
...to the beach! And the Pacific Ocean!
One last look at the conference hotel before heading home. Back to reality. Back to winter.
Leaving (cold Pittsburgh) on a jet plane...the sunrise over the clouds.Long Beach and palm trees and 70 degree weather.
Henery Press was well represented...
...although we played hooky a bit, having some murderous fun while we were at it.
Book sightings!
I did head inside to watch a few panels.
And in spite of major jet lag, I made it to the Henery Press gathering prior to the evening festivities.
The next day, the Pittsburgh contingent (Martha Reed, Susan Thibadeau, and me) went for a walk down the street...
...to the beach! And the Pacific Ocean!
One last look at the conference hotel before heading home. Back to reality. Back to winter.
August 29, 2016
End of an Era
My very first post when I started this blog was about the maiden voyage of our "new" camper. That was back in 2006. After a few years of road trips, we settled it on a "permanent" site in a campground in Confluence. Hubby would go fly fishing. I would write. It was my writing cave away from home. That was 2009.
A few years ago, we moved from our "permanent" site to another spot and then another. Same campground. Different neighborhood. Alas, the new neighborhood was a bit more crowded and noisy than the one up on the hill. But it was still an escape from the obligations back home. And it was still my secondary writing cave.
Times change. My back doesn't tolerate the camper's bed as well as it used to. "Obligations" back home have changed, too. Now I sit there, two hours away, waiting for the phone to ring with news that I need to rush to the ER for my mom.
Yeah, it's not the relaxing escape it once was.
So we've decided Camp Dash has run its course. Our little home on wheels is for sale.
Anyone looking for an 18 foot 1989 Terry Resort camper? Have we got a deal for you!
I'll cry when we spend our last night in it. I'll cry when I sign over the registration.
It's been a good run.
A few years ago, we moved from our "permanent" site to another spot and then another. Same campground. Different neighborhood. Alas, the new neighborhood was a bit more crowded and noisy than the one up on the hill. But it was still an escape from the obligations back home. And it was still my secondary writing cave.
Times change. My back doesn't tolerate the camper's bed as well as it used to. "Obligations" back home have changed, too. Now I sit there, two hours away, waiting for the phone to ring with news that I need to rush to the ER for my mom.
Yeah, it's not the relaxing escape it once was.
So we've decided Camp Dash has run its course. Our little home on wheels is for sale.
Anyone looking for an 18 foot 1989 Terry Resort camper? Have we got a deal for you!
I'll cry when we spend our last night in it. I'll cry when I sign over the registration.
It's been a good run.
August 24, 2016
Countdown to Bouchercon--Three Weeks
The second Bouchercon I attended was 2012 in Cleveland, an easy drive for those of us here in the Pittsburgh area. Let me just say, although I have grown up with the bitter football rivalry between the Browns and the Steelers, I discovered I LOVE Cleveland. It's a beautiful city.
It helped that I had excellent hotel room karma that trip. Somehow I ended up on one of the concierge floors (I had to swipe my room key in the elevator to access that level. You can bet I was on the receiving end of some raised eyebrows as convention goers wondered who I was!) While my friends had views of other buildings, I had a view of the lake!
And the room itself was HUGE. We could have held a dance in there!
Since my room mate was 8 1/2 months pregnant, she didn't stay the entire time, so my room became the designated "crash" space for when my Pittsburgh buddies needed to put their feet up a while.
We took several nice strolls outside...
...especially once we discovered The Chocolate Bar a few blocks away. Reese's Cup Chocolate Martini. Oh. My. God. I had a picture of me enjoying one of those entirely too much, but it seems to have been lost. Heh.
Anyway, here's a picture of some of the Pittsburgh contingent at the Sisters in Crime Breakfast. My very pregnant roomie Jennifer Little Fleck, me, and Martha Reed.
Incoming Sisters in Crime president Hank Phillippi Ryan takes over the reins from outgoing president Frankie Bailey.
There was singing.
And there were panels. This one was moderated by Pittsburgh friend, the Fab Nancy Martin.
More Pittsburgh pals--Laurie Stephens, who was at that time the owner of Mystery Lovers Bookshop, Martha, my current critique buddy Mary Sutton (to whom I lent my shoes...you'll have to ask one of us to tell you that story), and me.
The incomparable Mary Higgins Clark was the Guest of Honor.
I had the good luck to share the elevator with her on the final day. She was so gracious and I was such a fan girl. So was Mary Sutton. Another story you'll have to ask us about when you see us.
It was yet another fabulously fun Bouchercon. And only three more weeks until the next one!
It helped that I had excellent hotel room karma that trip. Somehow I ended up on one of the concierge floors (I had to swipe my room key in the elevator to access that level. You can bet I was on the receiving end of some raised eyebrows as convention goers wondered who I was!) While my friends had views of other buildings, I had a view of the lake!
And the room itself was HUGE. We could have held a dance in there!
Since my room mate was 8 1/2 months pregnant, she didn't stay the entire time, so my room became the designated "crash" space for when my Pittsburgh buddies needed to put their feet up a while.
We took several nice strolls outside...
...especially once we discovered The Chocolate Bar a few blocks away. Reese's Cup Chocolate Martini. Oh. My. God. I had a picture of me enjoying one of those entirely too much, but it seems to have been lost. Heh.
Anyway, here's a picture of some of the Pittsburgh contingent at the Sisters in Crime Breakfast. My very pregnant roomie Jennifer Little Fleck, me, and Martha Reed.
Incoming Sisters in Crime president Hank Phillippi Ryan takes over the reins from outgoing president Frankie Bailey.
There was singing.
And there were panels. This one was moderated by Pittsburgh friend, the Fab Nancy Martin.
More Pittsburgh pals--Laurie Stephens, who was at that time the owner of Mystery Lovers Bookshop, Martha, my current critique buddy Mary Sutton (to whom I lent my shoes...you'll have to ask one of us to tell you that story), and me.
The incomparable Mary Higgins Clark was the Guest of Honor.
I had the good luck to share the elevator with her on the final day. She was so gracious and I was such a fan girl. So was Mary Sutton. Another story you'll have to ask us about when you see us.
It was yet another fabulously fun Bouchercon. And only three more weeks until the next one!
August 17, 2016
Countdown to Bouchercon--Four Weeks
As I posted last week, I'm sharing memories of Bouchercons past each Wednesday leading up to this years convention in New Orleans.
The first Bcon I attended was in Baltimore in 2008. I traveled and roomed with my friend Joyce Tremel. At the time, both of us were aspiring authors, working on projects we hoped to see in print. (Happily, we're now both published!)
In looking back, one happy (at the time) memory now brings tears. Joyce and I met (for the first time face-to-face) our fellow Working Stiffs blogger, Wilfred Bereswill, who has since passed away. He was a sweet, funny man. I'm glad we had the opportunity to spend some time with him.
We also got to hang out with friends we usually only see online, like Michelle Gagnon and Lee Lofland...
as well as friends from back home like Paula Matter and Rebecca Drake.
Joyce and I took a walk to the beautiful Inner Harbor...
and attended some great panels.
We had some great meals with great friends, and spent a LOT of time in the bar.
Before heading home, we said farewell to our "new" friend Hank Phillippi Ryan (looking fabulous as always while Joyce and I had dressed down for the drive back to Pittsburgh). I had no idea at the time how many lifelong friends (like Hank!) I'd made that weekend.
And I can't wait to make a bunch more in New Orleans!
The first Bcon I attended was in Baltimore in 2008. I traveled and roomed with my friend Joyce Tremel. At the time, both of us were aspiring authors, working on projects we hoped to see in print. (Happily, we're now both published!)
In looking back, one happy (at the time) memory now brings tears. Joyce and I met (for the first time face-to-face) our fellow Working Stiffs blogger, Wilfred Bereswill, who has since passed away. He was a sweet, funny man. I'm glad we had the opportunity to spend some time with him.
We also got to hang out with friends we usually only see online, like Michelle Gagnon and Lee Lofland...
as well as friends from back home like Paula Matter and Rebecca Drake.
Joyce and I took a walk to the beautiful Inner Harbor...
and attended some great panels.
We had some great meals with great friends, and spent a LOT of time in the bar.
Before heading home, we said farewell to our "new" friend Hank Phillippi Ryan (looking fabulous as always while Joyce and I had dressed down for the drive back to Pittsburgh). I had no idea at the time how many lifelong friends (like Hank!) I'd made that weekend.
And I can't wait to make a bunch more in New Orleans!
