C.L. Parks's Blog, page 3
August 22, 2012
I'm still here....
Someone recently made a comment that my blog seemed abandoned. Nope - I'm still here. I've had life coming at me from every angle. Everything from the kids constantly fighting during the summer break, to the first day of school, lawyer appointments and doctor appointments.
My recent doctor's appointment revealed that I am fructose intolerant. That means I can't have anything with high fructose corn syrup, sorbitol (or anything ending with an -ol), fruits or veggies that convert to high levels of fructose, etc. That leaves very little to eat.
Okay, that's a minor exaggeration. I can have lean meats, dairy (if I wasn't lactose intolerant, as well), a majority of veggies, some fruits, and even some snacks. The problem is everything in the grocery store contains the "poisons" I can't have. I went through the grocery store with my daughter yesterday and was amazed at just how many "good" foods contain HFCS. And guess what - they don't have to actually put the words High Fructose Corn Syrup on the packaging. They can use different terms and list the food as HFCS-free. You have to learn all the fun little words in the ingrediants.
So, if I can have meats, and veggies, what's the problem? Recipes. That's the problems. Sure, I can make chicken and veggies every night for dinner, but how fun is that? Who wants to eat the same thing every day? Not me. I'm having the hardest time trying to find yummy recipes that don't include some form of high fructose in it. I can't have onions, tomatoes, apples, melons, asparagus, most fruits, any white flour, corn, brown rice, bread, pasta (I did find one in the Gluten free section that didn't have the poison in it), and like I said, I'm also lactose intolerant. I can't imagine how parents deal with kids with these food intolerances. I know it's going to be hard to switch my family over. And no, I'm not going to make different meals for the different members of my family. I'm not a short order cook.
Do you have any food intolerances? Have you found any useful websites or cook books? How did you deal with these inconveniences when you or your loved one was diagnosed?
My recent doctor's appointment revealed that I am fructose intolerant. That means I can't have anything with high fructose corn syrup, sorbitol (or anything ending with an -ol), fruits or veggies that convert to high levels of fructose, etc. That leaves very little to eat.
Okay, that's a minor exaggeration. I can have lean meats, dairy (if I wasn't lactose intolerant, as well), a majority of veggies, some fruits, and even some snacks. The problem is everything in the grocery store contains the "poisons" I can't have. I went through the grocery store with my daughter yesterday and was amazed at just how many "good" foods contain HFCS. And guess what - they don't have to actually put the words High Fructose Corn Syrup on the packaging. They can use different terms and list the food as HFCS-free. You have to learn all the fun little words in the ingrediants.
So, if I can have meats, and veggies, what's the problem? Recipes. That's the problems. Sure, I can make chicken and veggies every night for dinner, but how fun is that? Who wants to eat the same thing every day? Not me. I'm having the hardest time trying to find yummy recipes that don't include some form of high fructose in it. I can't have onions, tomatoes, apples, melons, asparagus, most fruits, any white flour, corn, brown rice, bread, pasta (I did find one in the Gluten free section that didn't have the poison in it), and like I said, I'm also lactose intolerant. I can't imagine how parents deal with kids with these food intolerances. I know it's going to be hard to switch my family over. And no, I'm not going to make different meals for the different members of my family. I'm not a short order cook.
Do you have any food intolerances? Have you found any useful websites or cook books? How did you deal with these inconveniences when you or your loved one was diagnosed?
July 17, 2012
Have I Invited A Demon Into My House?
While writing She Who Hunts I had an idea in my head, one of those 'what if' moments. I remember watching the news and after a murder had happened the news anchor interviewed a neighbor of the suspect. "He was such a nice guy," the neighbor said. It always seems that after someone commits some heinous crime there is someone in their lives who declare this person was such a wonderful person, the kind of person who would do anything for anyone. But, how the hell did the person just snap and become a serial killer? My first thought-maybe they became possessed.
Now, as I'm working on the second book, I've become almost obsessed with the idea of demon possessions, and evil walking among us. I have to admit there are times when it feels like someone is in the room with me, and not just the characters who are busily chatting it up in my head. Sometimes, when the house is really quiet, and I'm really into a scene, it seriously feels like there's someone standing behind me. I whip around, ready to yell at whatever kid snuck in and was now reading over my shoulder to find an empty room.
Have I possibly brought the demons from She Who Hunts into my own life? Or has the story just become so alive to me that I keep waiting for those things which go bump in the night to tap me on the shoulder? How about you? Ever get so creeped out by something you wrote or read that you checked under your bed before climbing in?
Now, as I'm working on the second book, I've become almost obsessed with the idea of demon possessions, and evil walking among us. I have to admit there are times when it feels like someone is in the room with me, and not just the characters who are busily chatting it up in my head. Sometimes, when the house is really quiet, and I'm really into a scene, it seriously feels like there's someone standing behind me. I whip around, ready to yell at whatever kid snuck in and was now reading over my shoulder to find an empty room.
Have I possibly brought the demons from She Who Hunts into my own life? Or has the story just become so alive to me that I keep waiting for those things which go bump in the night to tap me on the shoulder? How about you? Ever get so creeped out by something you wrote or read that you checked under your bed before climbing in?
June 22, 2012
I created you, you brat! Now behave!!!!!
Last night I was busy plotting some aspects of the next book in my Hunters series. I had a character in mind who would be a minor secondary character. What I decided originally was she would be about 40-50 years old. Apparently, this character found this amusing. She decided she's only 17. Okay, fine, you're a blonde goth/punk sassy teen. "Nope, I'm extremely shy, prefer to blend in, and I have mousy brown hair."
How the hell did this happen? I'm the creator. I made her. How is she calling the shots now?
Oh, it gets better. I had planned on her making only a few short appearances, then disappearing. Once again, she spoke up. This time she just busted out laughing. She ain't going nowhere! She has decided she wants to be in a couple of the books. Let me say this again, HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!
All of this seems a little wacky to my non-writer friends and family, but when I posted this little "issue" my writer friends chuckled. Every writer, apparently, has gone through this at one time or another. But, how is this possible? That's what I really want to know. These characters are make believe. Can you imagine if when you were a kid your imaginary friend suddenly decided they were someone else? Talk about causing some major trauma to your adolescent psyche!
I've heard other writers talk about fleshing out their characters, and deciding things for them. But, how much control did they really have? I mean, I write things out, usually on my dry erase board, then transfer the information to some index cards assigned to that specific character. I'm what they call a plotser, as I only plot to a certain point, then let the story develop on its own. But, my characters usually decide who they are with no help from me. Even the names are rarely assigned by me.
Do we writers suffer from a form of multiple personalities, or do we just have extremely overactive imaginations? Is there a pill, and would you take it if there were? *laughs*
Tell me, do you control your characters, or do they have constant control over the reigns?
How the hell did this happen? I'm the creator. I made her. How is she calling the shots now?
Oh, it gets better. I had planned on her making only a few short appearances, then disappearing. Once again, she spoke up. This time she just busted out laughing. She ain't going nowhere! She has decided she wants to be in a couple of the books. Let me say this again, HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!
All of this seems a little wacky to my non-writer friends and family, but when I posted this little "issue" my writer friends chuckled. Every writer, apparently, has gone through this at one time or another. But, how is this possible? That's what I really want to know. These characters are make believe. Can you imagine if when you were a kid your imaginary friend suddenly decided they were someone else? Talk about causing some major trauma to your adolescent psyche!
I've heard other writers talk about fleshing out their characters, and deciding things for them. But, how much control did they really have? I mean, I write things out, usually on my dry erase board, then transfer the information to some index cards assigned to that specific character. I'm what they call a plotser, as I only plot to a certain point, then let the story develop on its own. But, my characters usually decide who they are with no help from me. Even the names are rarely assigned by me.
Do we writers suffer from a form of multiple personalities, or do we just have extremely overactive imaginations? Is there a pill, and would you take it if there were? *laughs*
Tell me, do you control your characters, or do they have constant control over the reigns?
May 31, 2012
Too Much Sex?
I have a confession to make - I love to read bad reviews on bestselling authors. Yep. Even those of my favorites, it brings me a little sense of joy to see one and two star reviews. Maybe it just makes me feel better that I don't have all five star reviews. Or maybe, I feel like even those who are in the top of the game have those who dislike their work.
While going through an author's reviews, an author whom I used to love her work, I noticed a trend in the reviews - too much sex. I won't name the author, as I'm not into giving bad reviews (or at least giving out the names), but I will tell you this is a bestselling author who happened to have a great series...until about halfway through the series. It then turned into bestiality fetish erotica. The storyline just disappeared.
Now, obviously, I have nothing against erotica, or really great sex scenes, but this author seemed to have decided as long as someone was having sex she no longer needed a plot for the books. Many of her previous fans have dropped both series and opted to find other new authors.
This whole thing got me thinking; what would it take for your most hardcore fan to turn their back on you?
When we pick up a book, whether this is a new-to-us author or someone we've been reading for years we expect a certain kind of writing. With the author I spoke of above, we expect the character to be stubborn, and almost paranoid that every male is a chauvinist. We also expect gory murder scenes, great plots, a little suspense, and a great crime solving ending. However, in the last half of both series, it seems the author got either bored, or was being pushed too hard to complete too many books in such a small amount of time. I don't know which, and probably will never know.
In a way, it's kind of like certain genres of books or movies; in romances, we expect a happily-ever-after. In suspense, we expect a great who-done-it. In horror, we expect to feel like we should be reading/watching through our fingers. What we don't want is a romantic hero who decides at the very end he doesn't really love the heroine, and wants to now become a celibate monk. We don't want to watch a suspense where you can guess who did it in the first five minutes. And we really don't want characters who had certain opinions about sex and monogamy to suddenly become oversexed sluts with a tendency to screw animals.
I'm sure some of you know which author I've been talking about, but we'll let the name stay anonymous. In the meantime, have you ever stopped reading your favorite author because they suddenly stopped playing by the rules they created? What really turns you off about a book?
While going through an author's reviews, an author whom I used to love her work, I noticed a trend in the reviews - too much sex. I won't name the author, as I'm not into giving bad reviews (or at least giving out the names), but I will tell you this is a bestselling author who happened to have a great series...until about halfway through the series. It then turned into bestiality fetish erotica. The storyline just disappeared.
Now, obviously, I have nothing against erotica, or really great sex scenes, but this author seemed to have decided as long as someone was having sex she no longer needed a plot for the books. Many of her previous fans have dropped both series and opted to find other new authors.
This whole thing got me thinking; what would it take for your most hardcore fan to turn their back on you?
When we pick up a book, whether this is a new-to-us author or someone we've been reading for years we expect a certain kind of writing. With the author I spoke of above, we expect the character to be stubborn, and almost paranoid that every male is a chauvinist. We also expect gory murder scenes, great plots, a little suspense, and a great crime solving ending. However, in the last half of both series, it seems the author got either bored, or was being pushed too hard to complete too many books in such a small amount of time. I don't know which, and probably will never know.
In a way, it's kind of like certain genres of books or movies; in romances, we expect a happily-ever-after. In suspense, we expect a great who-done-it. In horror, we expect to feel like we should be reading/watching through our fingers. What we don't want is a romantic hero who decides at the very end he doesn't really love the heroine, and wants to now become a celibate monk. We don't want to watch a suspense where you can guess who did it in the first five minutes. And we really don't want characters who had certain opinions about sex and monogamy to suddenly become oversexed sluts with a tendency to screw animals.
I'm sure some of you know which author I've been talking about, but we'll let the name stay anonymous. In the meantime, have you ever stopped reading your favorite author because they suddenly stopped playing by the rules they created? What really turns you off about a book?
May 24, 2012
Why is it your favorite genre?
I write urban fantasy, and have dabbled in paranormal romance. I've also tried my hand with a little erotica. Obviously, these are my favorite genres to read. But, as I lay in bed thinking about a book I'm reading, I got thinking...why? What brought me to these genres? Why not regency romance, or maybe literary fiction? Or maybe even nonfiction books?
The first book I can remember falling in love with (and only wanting to rewrite the ending instead of the whole book) was Charlotte's Web. But, CL, that's not supernatural, or paranormal. Oh, you think it's not? Hellooooo, a talking pig and a writing spider. Have you ever seen that in real life? I know I haven't. (If I had, I may not be so freaking arachnophobic!) The only part of Charlotte's Web I rewrote in my head was the ending; I didn't want Charlotte to die.
As I search my memory of books that stand out in my head, I always go back to Stephen King. I first discovered the master of horror in fifth grade. Yes, you read that right; I read Stephen King in fifth grade. Did it scare me? Yep. Did I love it? Yep. Something clicked inside my head when I read Pet Semetary (I always tried to read books before I saw the movies); I needed more monsters, more horror, more action. Give me a horror flick or action movie over a chick flick any day!
But again, I ask why? Why is it I find things that don't exist (or do they?) to be so intriguing. I think I've come up with the answer - because the rules don't apply! In supernatural, paranormal, horror, etc, the characters don't have to play by the same rules as the rest of us. They can fly, read people's minds, kill the bad guys, rematerialize anywhere they please, and some live forever. Who wouldn't want to lose themselves in that kind of universe, if only for an hour at a time?!
But here's another thought; I don't read Science Fiction. Of course, there are rules in these books which don't apply to the rest of us, yet I find it distracting to try to imagine these technological worlds on top of trying to follow the storyline. I'm sure some SciFi fans feel the same way about the paranormal worlds, so maybe I'm not too weird.
Now it's your turn - Why do you read your favorite genre? Why do you write the genre you do? Was there some major turn of life which brought you over to the "dark" side, or have you always been fascinated with make-believe?
The first book I can remember falling in love with (and only wanting to rewrite the ending instead of the whole book) was Charlotte's Web. But, CL, that's not supernatural, or paranormal. Oh, you think it's not? Hellooooo, a talking pig and a writing spider. Have you ever seen that in real life? I know I haven't. (If I had, I may not be so freaking arachnophobic!) The only part of Charlotte's Web I rewrote in my head was the ending; I didn't want Charlotte to die.
As I search my memory of books that stand out in my head, I always go back to Stephen King. I first discovered the master of horror in fifth grade. Yes, you read that right; I read Stephen King in fifth grade. Did it scare me? Yep. Did I love it? Yep. Something clicked inside my head when I read Pet Semetary (I always tried to read books before I saw the movies); I needed more monsters, more horror, more action. Give me a horror flick or action movie over a chick flick any day!
But again, I ask why? Why is it I find things that don't exist (or do they?) to be so intriguing. I think I've come up with the answer - because the rules don't apply! In supernatural, paranormal, horror, etc, the characters don't have to play by the same rules as the rest of us. They can fly, read people's minds, kill the bad guys, rematerialize anywhere they please, and some live forever. Who wouldn't want to lose themselves in that kind of universe, if only for an hour at a time?!
But here's another thought; I don't read Science Fiction. Of course, there are rules in these books which don't apply to the rest of us, yet I find it distracting to try to imagine these technological worlds on top of trying to follow the storyline. I'm sure some SciFi fans feel the same way about the paranormal worlds, so maybe I'm not too weird.
Now it's your turn - Why do you read your favorite genre? Why do you write the genre you do? Was there some major turn of life which brought you over to the "dark" side, or have you always been fascinated with make-believe?
May 9, 2012
Giveaway Time!
My new book, She Who Hunts, is currently up for grabs! I'm giving away five ebooks to the next five people who comment on this blog!
In other news, the proof for the paperback is in transit. The moment I have approved it and ordered copies I will be hosting a contest and giveaway over on Goodreads.
Stay tuned!
In other news, the proof for the paperback is in transit. The moment I have approved it and ordered copies I will be hosting a contest and giveaway over on Goodreads.
Stay tuned!
May 7, 2012
I don't belong to your Clique!!!!
This weekend I went out to dinner with a close friend, then went to watch my husband's band. If you saw the two of us together you'd end up scratching your head. My friend is very put together, wears beautiful clothes, her hair is always impeccable, and her makeup is always perfect. She reapplies her lipstick several times a day and checks her powder to make sure her skin is flawless. Me? Yeah, I was wearing a black skirt, t-shirt, two-tone fishnet tights, black sparkly Converse shoes, cat eyes and red lipstick. But we have so much in common and have a blast together (even if we do get looks when we go out).
In high school I had my group of friends I hung out with after school, but was friends with everyone. I didn't restrict myself to one clique. I had friends on the cheerleading team, football and baseball teams, nerds, freaks, etc. I never discriminated.
What's my point, you ask?
Cliques!
I've noticed that with every form of art there is a clique that follows. My youngest sister is a painter and deals with it in school. My husband is a musician (and artist) and he sees it, even among adults. And I'm a writer....Yep, I see it everyday.
On Facebook I have over 1200 friends. Now, I don't "know" all of these people, but interact with 95% of them on a weekly, and sometimes daily, basis. With the exception of family and friends, these are people in the industry - other authors, editors, agents, publishers, illustrators, book cover artists, etc. When I see a fellow author get a great deal, or even a movie author I'm ecstatic. Why wouldn't I be? I know firsthand how much time it takes to complete a novel, perfect it, find an agent, etc. I know the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into every chapter of your baby. But, I've noticed not everyone is like that.
Sometimes, just like in high school, you come across a person, or group of people, whose jealousy (or maybe just lack of personal life) forces them to bash anyone who may have success. They stalk blogs, Facebook and Twitter accounts, and make snarky comments to anyone who will listen.
I'll be the first to admit I don't comment on people's blogs enough. The truth is, I don't know how to find out these people have a new blog post unless they share it on one of the social sites. I'm not a very tech savvy person. Also, if someone has said what I was thinking, what's the point of going "yeah, what he said." I know every time there's a comment on a blog an alert goes to their email, so I'm sure they don't appreciate the equivalent of a texted "k", or "lol".
I no longer belong to a writer's group, my critique partners are online, people I've me through social networks. I no longer reveal personal information to anyone I don't know on an extremely personal level, and I don't get involved in the bickering on boards. I don't have the time. Between writing, researching, editing, housework, raising three kids, two dogs, chickens, lizards, and cats...oh, and a wonderful husband, I just don't have the time for any added drama. Save the drama for your mama.
How about you? Have you experienced any cliques, or backstabbing in the creative world?
In high school I had my group of friends I hung out with after school, but was friends with everyone. I didn't restrict myself to one clique. I had friends on the cheerleading team, football and baseball teams, nerds, freaks, etc. I never discriminated.
What's my point, you ask?
Cliques!
I've noticed that with every form of art there is a clique that follows. My youngest sister is a painter and deals with it in school. My husband is a musician (and artist) and he sees it, even among adults. And I'm a writer....Yep, I see it everyday.
On Facebook I have over 1200 friends. Now, I don't "know" all of these people, but interact with 95% of them on a weekly, and sometimes daily, basis. With the exception of family and friends, these are people in the industry - other authors, editors, agents, publishers, illustrators, book cover artists, etc. When I see a fellow author get a great deal, or even a movie author I'm ecstatic. Why wouldn't I be? I know firsthand how much time it takes to complete a novel, perfect it, find an agent, etc. I know the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into every chapter of your baby. But, I've noticed not everyone is like that.
Sometimes, just like in high school, you come across a person, or group of people, whose jealousy (or maybe just lack of personal life) forces them to bash anyone who may have success. They stalk blogs, Facebook and Twitter accounts, and make snarky comments to anyone who will listen.
I'll be the first to admit I don't comment on people's blogs enough. The truth is, I don't know how to find out these people have a new blog post unless they share it on one of the social sites. I'm not a very tech savvy person. Also, if someone has said what I was thinking, what's the point of going "yeah, what he said." I know every time there's a comment on a blog an alert goes to their email, so I'm sure they don't appreciate the equivalent of a texted "k", or "lol".
I no longer belong to a writer's group, my critique partners are online, people I've me through social networks. I no longer reveal personal information to anyone I don't know on an extremely personal level, and I don't get involved in the bickering on boards. I don't have the time. Between writing, researching, editing, housework, raising three kids, two dogs, chickens, lizards, and cats...oh, and a wonderful husband, I just don't have the time for any added drama. Save the drama for your mama.
How about you? Have you experienced any cliques, or backstabbing in the creative world?
May 4, 2012
Stop giving your friend five star reviews!!!!
I've been thinking a lot about book reviews lately. Every author - especially debut authors - need reviews on their books. Book reviews sell books, as does word of mouth. But, it seems to me more often than not, friends and family of the author are posting reviews, rather than your everyday reader.
I've gone book pages on Amazon and looked through reviews of authors I'm familiar with. One particular book had seven reviews - three five stars, one four stars, and three two stars. The higher stars were from other authors from a writer's forum most of us frequent. The lower three were unknown to me.
This particular situation got me thinking even deeper about reviews; would I want good reviews only because someone knows me, or because they like my work? I think the answer is obvious here.
And here's another question: Can the good reviews on a bad book lend discredibility to the reviewers' work? Will someone realize that Joan Smith - author of Blah, blah blah gave a good review on a bad book and question their talent?
Okay, now that we've delved into this little arena, how about unsolicited reviews? When one reaches out on social networks and begs asks their "friends" to read and review their work, does this seem desperate, or like someone truly believes in their book and wants to know the opinion of the general public?
What about you? Do you read reviews before buying books? And, if you're a writer, do you seek out reviews from bloggers and book reviewers?
I've gone book pages on Amazon and looked through reviews of authors I'm familiar with. One particular book had seven reviews - three five stars, one four stars, and three two stars. The higher stars were from other authors from a writer's forum most of us frequent. The lower three were unknown to me.
This particular situation got me thinking even deeper about reviews; would I want good reviews only because someone knows me, or because they like my work? I think the answer is obvious here.
And here's another question: Can the good reviews on a bad book lend discredibility to the reviewers' work? Will someone realize that Joan Smith - author of Blah, blah blah gave a good review on a bad book and question their talent?
Okay, now that we've delved into this little arena, how about unsolicited reviews? When one reaches out on social networks and begs asks their "friends" to read and review their work, does this seem desperate, or like someone truly believes in their book and wants to know the opinion of the general public?What about you? Do you read reviews before buying books? And, if you're a writer, do you seek out reviews from bloggers and book reviewers?
April 20, 2012
Can Giving A Bad Review Kill Your Writing Career?
I finished a book last night that started out so strong, yet left me...well, wanting. There were a lot of errors - their instead of there, your instead of you're. But, I can always overlook that when the story is strong enough.
Now, I have no intention of naming the book (which I'll explain why later), but the whole thing got me thinking about several issues with writing and publishing.
First of all, what's with the convenient endings? I've read sooooo many books that just...end. What?! Where's the huge climax, the fireworks, the big bang? This particular book started out with so much violence and action I couldn't wait to read the rest. Then, about halfway through, it just slowed down and never picked back up. I was so disappointed by the the last page I could've screamed!
I've been told before that at times my story slows down. Honestly, I do that intentionally to give the reader a breather. But, sometimes I fear I've slowed it down too much. As long as I don't have one of those silly convenient endings I'm satisfied.
Now, on to why I won't name the book...because I have my own books out there. Yep, I've heard horror stories of disgruntled writers giving their reviewer's books bad reviews as revenge. I'd prefer to get a bad review in earnest, not as payback.
I will soon be reading and reviewing books, yet they will not be under my own name. And, no, I will not review your book if you approach me through this site. Okay, maybe I will for some of my beloved followers, but please don't send others here. However, if you want a book review, feel free to head over to All Things Books.
How do you feel about convenient endings? And more importantly, would you leave your name on a review?
Now, I have no intention of naming the book (which I'll explain why later), but the whole thing got me thinking about several issues with writing and publishing.
First of all, what's with the convenient endings? I've read sooooo many books that just...end. What?! Where's the huge climax, the fireworks, the big bang? This particular book started out with so much violence and action I couldn't wait to read the rest. Then, about halfway through, it just slowed down and never picked back up. I was so disappointed by the the last page I could've screamed!
I've been told before that at times my story slows down. Honestly, I do that intentionally to give the reader a breather. But, sometimes I fear I've slowed it down too much. As long as I don't have one of those silly convenient endings I'm satisfied.
Now, on to why I won't name the book...because I have my own books out there. Yep, I've heard horror stories of disgruntled writers giving their reviewer's books bad reviews as revenge. I'd prefer to get a bad review in earnest, not as payback.
I will soon be reading and reviewing books, yet they will not be under my own name. And, no, I will not review your book if you approach me through this site. Okay, maybe I will for some of my beloved followers, but please don't send others here. However, if you want a book review, feel free to head over to All Things Books.
How do you feel about convenient endings? And more importantly, would you leave your name on a review?
April 10, 2012
You can walk away from an abusive relationship!
I had started writing a clever blog about writing, and after staring at it for two days, I chose to start over. I heard an interview on the radio today with the author of Heroes for My Son, and now Heroes for My Daughter. The host of the radio show said something about Tina Turner, saying "Don't wait 16 years." He then went on to say how some women may have 35cents and a Mobil card in their pocket and may not be able to leave.
This interview got me thinking about my own experience. It's no secret I stayed in an abusive marriage for seven years. And, those who knew me before (and especially years after) I was in that relationship were shocked to discover I stayed with someone who would treat me like that. My first answer is always because I loved him. I was young, and believed love can cure all. I thought he loved me enough.
But, that's obviously not a good enough reason to stay with someone who would hurt you. I'll tell you a little more - When I finally left my ex-husband and filed for a restraining order, I had only been working at my new job for a few months, I had never paid a single bill, and I had no idea how to cook anything other than macaroni and cheese.
I was terrified of being on my own. Not only would I be in charge of every aspect of the home and family, but I would have to learn how to do things most people at my age took for granted. I can remember the gratification I felt the first time I mailed a check to the mortgage company. Granted, it was late because I was broke, but I did it. That was the first milestone for me. From mailing that single piece of paper out I realized I could do it. I could live on my own, support my children, and make sure we had somewhere to live and food in our bellies.
Was it easy? Hell no! I struggled constantly, dropping major weight because there was only enough food for my three kids. We used space heaters during the winter when I couldn't afford to fill the propane tank, and we didn't go out to eat. But, I learned to cook...quite well, actually. My kids grew stronger knowing they were safe. I grew stronger.
Today, I'm married to a wonderful man, someone who supports everything I do, including my dream of becoming a published author.
What does this have to do with writing, you ask? Not a damn thing. But, now you know a little more about me, and why I don't give up...ever!
This interview got me thinking about my own experience. It's no secret I stayed in an abusive marriage for seven years. And, those who knew me before (and especially years after) I was in that relationship were shocked to discover I stayed with someone who would treat me like that. My first answer is always because I loved him. I was young, and believed love can cure all. I thought he loved me enough.
But, that's obviously not a good enough reason to stay with someone who would hurt you. I'll tell you a little more - When I finally left my ex-husband and filed for a restraining order, I had only been working at my new job for a few months, I had never paid a single bill, and I had no idea how to cook anything other than macaroni and cheese.
I was terrified of being on my own. Not only would I be in charge of every aspect of the home and family, but I would have to learn how to do things most people at my age took for granted. I can remember the gratification I felt the first time I mailed a check to the mortgage company. Granted, it was late because I was broke, but I did it. That was the first milestone for me. From mailing that single piece of paper out I realized I could do it. I could live on my own, support my children, and make sure we had somewhere to live and food in our bellies.
Was it easy? Hell no! I struggled constantly, dropping major weight because there was only enough food for my three kids. We used space heaters during the winter when I couldn't afford to fill the propane tank, and we didn't go out to eat. But, I learned to cook...quite well, actually. My kids grew stronger knowing they were safe. I grew stronger.
Today, I'm married to a wonderful man, someone who supports everything I do, including my dream of becoming a published author.
What does this have to do with writing, you ask? Not a damn thing. But, now you know a little more about me, and why I don't give up...ever!
