Lela Davidson's Blog, page 29

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Published on June 13, 2012 10:37

Get Rid of Your Kids This Summer! The Legal Ways

School’s out, or will be soon. And with that final dismissal bell comes week upon sweltering week of keeping children entertained, educated, and out of juvenile detention. It’s enough to drive a work-at-home parent to drink, or it’s a good excuse anyway. Whether you need time to work at home, or simply to enjoy an uninterrupted hour or two of your favorite reality show train wreck, here are ten ways to get rid of your kids this summer.

1. Put them to work

Filing and data entry can be completed by children from a very young age. If they can work a keyboard, you have interns. Keeps them busy and saves you from nasty paper cuts and carpal tunnel syndrome. The young heal fast.

Image: Ernst Vikne, Flickr

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Published on June 05, 2012 05:42

Listen To Your Mother NWA in Review

We did this, and now we’re done. (Kind of, keep reading.)

If you thought Listen To Your Mother NWA was done a month ago, and for many it was. But Stephanie and I have been working to tie it all in a bow. In case you missed a single moment, here’s how it went down, in reverse:

Gave some money to two worthy Northwest Arkansas causes
Put on a seriously cool show, with nary a hiccup (that others might see)
Chose a stellar line-up to ensure success
Read dozens of extraordinary stories throughout a two-part audition process
Got the super exciting news that Northwest Arkansas would host a show

If you missed the show, you’ll have your chance to see all the amazing readings. The videos will be posted here in a few weeks. We’ll keep you posted.

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Published on June 01, 2012 07:48

50 Shades of Snot, and other reasons you’re depressed

A recent Gallup poll found that stay-home moms are more depressed than working moms. No kidding? In related news, sales of wine and erotic fiction rise just after the last day of school. (I made that up. Call it women’s intuition.) No study needed to confirm that caring for children is grueling work.

Consider the daily onslaught: 50 shades of snot, 22 textures of poo, and 14 ways to embed yogurt into the carpet. Add in a complete lack of control over your schedule and long stretches of isolation from activities and people that bring you joy.

Image: mrgreen09, Flickr

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Published on May 31, 2012 05:30

Snooki 2.0: Motherhood

Snooki is having a baby this summer. Let the commentary begin. While the reality star’s future on Jersey Shore might be hindered by the impending bundle of joy, she is confident in her innate maternal instincts. She told V Magazine earlier this month, “Everyone will be surprised to see a different side of me. I’m loving, caring, sensitive, protective, and very maternal, no matter what people might think.”

Before you judge Snooki’s fitness to be a mother, consider for a moment your own wildest days (and nights), and how they would have played out in an edited-for-conflict “reality” show. (And your antics weren’t encouraged by producers standing by with body shots.)

Image: Torsten Mangner, Flickr

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Published on May 29, 2012 13:24

Beans, Bloggers, and Big Ass Vegetables

Being a member–however inconsequential–of the Bloggerazzi has its benefits. I have been plied with fabulous products, drunk sorbet cocktails on a rooftops in California, and inteviewed the outrageous Wendy Williams. But until yesterday I had never held a chicken in my arms. A heritage chicken, no less. (I think that’s like an heirloom tomato, but for poultry.) Also, it might be a rooster. Don’t get all 4-H on me.

With some other members of the NWA Blogger elite, I traveled via highway and dirt road to P. Allen Smith’s amazing Moss Mountain Farm, where a select group women bloggers from around the state were treated to a private tour of the home and gardens of this Arkansas treasure.

Mr. Smith even showed us his bedroom, and his big ass vegetables.

Not in that order.

I’m being obnoxious, but the truth is that Smith is passionate about history, botany, and agriculture. He is a gifted designer and talented artist. (Those vegetable I reference are incredible oversized renderings of humble edibles that I’d sell my earlobes to have hanging in my house.) Most impressive is Smith’s commitment to share his talent with the world from his home in Arkansas. Lucky Arkansas.

Some hightlights of my day on the farm:

Bonding with other NWA bloggers on the 3-hour trip to Little Rock, and back! They had much more interesting just-out-of-college jobs than I did. Lyndi, Stephanie, and Amy made the hours fly.
Pro: I loved my brand new kickass boots courtesy of Country Outfitters.
Con: I forgot socks. But the boots were so comfortable it didn’t matter. Wore those suckers all day.
Discovered X White Blend by XWinery. Never tasted wine quite like that before. Delish.
Learned a lot about and ate more than my fair share of soy beans and edamame. (Yeah, they’re different. Hang out on my Facebook wall and you’d know that.) Thank you, Arkansas Soybean Board!
Made new friends from all over Arkansas, including one named Lela :)
Planted soybeans at Moss Mountain Farm. Oh, yes I did.
And completed my apprenticeship as a Chicken Whisperer. Went a little something like this:

Smith hands me a chicken. I fumble to pass off my phone to a kindly bystander.
Smith:  Hold her legs… Hold her legs…. Hold her legs.
Me:  Where are the legs?
Smith:  They’re underneath the chicken.

Surprisingly, I left the gorgeous home and grounds actually feeling better about my own home and gardens, not worse. Nothing about Moss Mountain Farm is perfect. Nothing is manicured and ideal. But it’s all purposful, interesting, and beautifully serene.

P. Allen Smith is an inspiration. He is more than a brand. He has embraced his own interests so deeply that they now serve others in a significant way. Plus, he’s just a great guy–authoritative, humble, and funny. I might have a little crush.

If you want to see more pictures, check out our collaborative bean2blog Pinterest board. There are also many wonderful pictures on Kelly’s blog.

Images: Lyndi Fultz

Dear FCC: Country Outfitters gave me a sweet pair of boots, which my teenage daughter is already eyeing. Not sure you can call that compensation, but there you have it.

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Published on May 23, 2012 16:01

Of Course I Cleaned My Room

Did you clean your room?

Yes.

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You made your bed?

Uh huh.

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And the closet?

Yes, Mom! Jeez.

Image: D. Sharon Pruit, Pink Sherbet Photography, Flickr

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Published on May 17, 2012 07:23

Podcast: Legend of My Ten-Pound Baby

For ten years I thought my daughter weighed ten pounds at birth. Oops.

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The Legend of My Ten-Pound Baby

Did you enjoy? There’s more where that came from.

Order Blacklisted from the PTA in paperback or Kindle now.

Like This? Try These:

Podcast: Easter Bunny Blues
Podcast: Got Hotel Rooms?
Podcast: Does Sam’s Club Count as Date Night?

Audio: Lela Davidson

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Published on May 14, 2012 11:58

April Showers Bring Spring Flowers

Wow, it’s been busy. I think I said that last month, and it’s even truer now. In fact, these recaps are an important way for me to keep track of what I’ve done and where I’m going. Some fun things that happened in April.

My essay “When You Want to Run Away” appeared in Houston Family Magazine.
Admitted that I sometimes just roll my eyes and sigh when my children lie to me in April for Today Show Moms.
Represented my adopted state of Arkansas for iVillage.
“Earth Mama Wannabe,” a chronicle of my battle with cloth diapers, was published in metroparent in Milwaukee.
“The Case of the Easter Bunny” hopped into Broward Family Life.
Hit the front page of Today.com and msn.com with my commentary on helicopter parenting and crawling helmets for babies.
Considered the financial factors involved in staying home and going back to work after baby for Chicago Parent.
Helped parents make friends with Facebook for Atlanta Parent, San Diego Family, and Savvy Kids in Little Rock.
Presented strategies to prevent cyber-bullying and control the damage of its effects for Piedmont Family Magazine.
Told the world the very stupid thing my kids learned to do on YouTube for Today Show Moms.
Attended and sold books at the Missouri Writer’s Guild annual conference. With the guidance of Claire Cook, Christina Katz, and Christie Craig, I came away with a focus I’ve been lacking. Thanks to these ladies, I now know better what I do best.
My “Car Trouble” was featured in ParentsSource magazine in Pennsylvania.
Met with several brands, wrote lots of proposals, and signed our first clients for Peekaboo Media Group.
And then there was Listen To Your Mother, which I can say without too much exaggeration, was transformative.

So, yes, it was a lot. And it was a LOT of fun.

Images: Megan Clemence Photography, Today.com

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Published on May 10, 2012 08:00

Stupid Things Teens Learn from Their Phones

When I noticed the dark brown wound on the back of my 13-year-old son’s hand, he explained that he had burnt himself with salt and ice. “I just wanted to see if it would work,” he said. “It didn’t even hurt.” When my shock turned to anger, he implicated his 11-year-old sister as an accomplice. I had apparently raised not one, but two, “gifted” children.

Why would honor students with no history of drug use or brain disorders maim themselves in the name of curiosity? They saw it on YouTube, naturally.