Becky Clark's Blog, page 3

Ms Clark, at the Kitchen Table, with a Blog

They staged the musical “Clue” in my little town recently. If you’re not familiar, it’s a play based on the board game. It has snappy numbers like “Corridors and Halls,” “She Hasn’t Got a Clue,” and “A Conservatory is a Conservative Place for a Contract Killing.”

Okay, I just made up that last one.

I didn’t see it this time, but my kids were in the pit orchestra when they performed it at their high school. The musical is silly fun, and a bit complicated (and light on plot) because it’s interactive. The audience selects the weapon, room, and suspect cards, so there are over 200 possible endings the cast needs to know and be able to react to. It is, as you can imagine, not to everyone’s taste.

The board game, on the other hand, has been popular for more than 70 years. Jake Rossen made a listicle for Mental Floss about it, which had some facts I already knew, and a few I didn’t.

For instance, I knew the game had been developed in Britain during WWII to help overcome boredom while waiting out air raids, and that it was originally called Cluedo, which was also the name of the long-running British television series based on it.

But I didn’t know that Colonel Mustard was originally called Colonel Yellow, as all the characters were named after colors. But they wisely concluded that Colonel Yellow was not a good name for a military man.

And speaking of the military, Britain’s Mi9 slipped contraband maps and escape tools into board games sent to POW camps. So fitting, eh?

In the original patent, the weapons were an ax, cudgel, bomb, rope, dagger, revolver, hypodermic needle, poison, and fireplace poker.

In 2008, they updated the game. There was now a spa and home theater, Colonel Mustard became a football hero, and Professor Plum a dotcom billionaire. And you could now kill them with a trophy, a baseball bat, and an ax. I find it interesting that in their update, they went back to an original weapon. (Everything is so retro these days, if I wait long enough, maybe I’ll be hip too.)

In 2016, they permanently killed, er, retired, Mrs White and replaced her with scientist Dr Orchid.

Anthony Pratt, the creator, never made much money from his creation. In the 1960s his patent ran out so he didn’t receive royalties any longer. He hadn’t realized the game had become so popular in the United States. But even when he found out, he simply shrugged and pointed out how much fun people had with it over the years. A lesser man would have picked up one of those cudgels, handed Miss Scarlet a baseball bat, and taken the secret passage to the conservatory to seek vengeance.

Clue was a popular game in our household. As a kid I had an intricate and specific way to keep track of clues, heavy on secret symbols to thwart any roaming eyes. And as an adult, I made the pictured swag notepads from clue sheets to hand out at conferences one year. They were very popular, making me realize just how iconic that game is.

What about you? Did you play? Did you win? Which character did you always want to be?

But Is It Necessary?

Fiction authors play fast and loose with the truth. Some of us even have t-shirts that say “I lie for a living” in a fading elegant red font.

So, imagine my delight at stumbling on some fun and completely useless “facts.”

I put that in quotation marks because for one, I’m much too lazy to check the veracity of any of them. For two, they seem to have truthiness. And for three, unlike so much other stuff in the world, these seem harmless.

If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.

I’m pretty sure this one is true, because it’s the same thing that happened to the rice in my pantry.

Women blink nearly twice as often as men.

Also true, but only because we cannot believe what they just said or did, often loudly and in public.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.

Well, sure, wasn’t everyone?

A snail can sleep for three years.

Ima call shenanigans on this one. No researcher could possible stay awake that long while staring at a snail. I mean, a slug, sure. But a snail? No way.

You share your birthday with at least nine million other people.

Better stock up on candles. Your turn to bake the cake will come around before you know it!

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

Man-o-man, I would love to see a golf ball smile.

This might be my favorite factoid, though.

The Pentagon has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary.

I have so many questions. Like, didn’t they used to call it “the necessary”?

Cozy Mystery Crew Word Search Puzzles

You’re in the right place if you want to do some word search puzzles!

If you’ve mysteriously stumbled upon this post, and you enjoy reading cozy mysteries, you should really do yourself a favor and join the Cozy Mystery Crew over on Facebook. There are twelve of us mystery authors and we do scads of fun stuff every day. We’re in the middle of a Mystery Advent Calendar where we’re posting the first chapter of our books for you to read.

If you’ve never visited my website before, you probably want to take the opportunity to click around. I think there’s plenty to amuse you. Learn my favorite words. Argue with me about my least favorite foods. Grab your free Becky Clark Starter Kit. See who the main characters from my Sugar Mill Marketplace series are based on. (Is that how you pictured them?)

But if you only want to do word searches, I guess that’s okay too. *sighs melodramatically*

You can download each of these puzzles to your desktop and print them out to work on. When you finish, tell me if you found your name. I’ll make a list of everyone I ran out of room for and make a new puzzle. I tried to get as many of our Cozy Mystery Crew participants in these puzzles, but if I missed your name—there’s a lot of you!!— I still have a gift for you!

POLICE NAVIDAD is Book #4 of my Mystery Writer’s Mysteries series, and my only Christmas book, if memory serves. (Don’t judge me!) And DECEMBER 4TH ONLY—because it’s the Cozy Mystery Crew Holiday Extravaganza— I’m putting it on sale for 99c on Amazon. Click the cover to zip over there, snag yourself a copy, then come back and download your word search puzzles.

Here are your four word search puzzles! Enjoy!

Some of Becky’s Favorite Peeps #1

Some of Becky’s Favorite Peeps #2

Some of Becky’s Favorite Peeps #3

Some of Becky’s Favorite Peeps #4

Getting Stupider

We played Trivial Pursuit on Family Game Night last week and I’ve come to the disturbing conclusion I’m getting stupider.

Granted, it’s trivia. Outdated trivia at that. “What city has the tallest building outside the U.S?”  Um, pretty sure it’s not Toronto anymore.

But some of it falls under the category Stuff I Used To Know. Like geography. And who won the first Super Bowl. And the name of Carole Lombard’s husband. I did, however, know Ms Lombard died in a plane crash, but no, she wasn’t married to Cary Grant.

My struggle for the answer reminded me of one of my favorite jokes…

An elderly couple goes to their friends’ house for dinner. After they finish eating, the men go in the living room to chat while the ladies go into the kitchen to clean up.

The first man says, “We went to a really good restaurant yesterday. I’d recommend it to anyone.”

The second man asks, “What’s the name of the restaurant?”

The first man thinks and thinks and finally says, “What’s that flower that has thorns and you give to someone you love?”

The second man says, “A rose?”

The first man says, “Yes, that’s it! A rose!” He turns his head toward the kitchen and says, “Rose? What’s the name of that restaurant we went to yesterday?”

Yeah. That’s me.

“Let’s see … Carole Lombard was in ‘My Man Godfrey’ and ‘Mr & Mrs Smith’ … married to William Powell, the Thin Man … he had that skinny mustache … so did this guy … “Hey, honey, who was that guy, in a bunch of movies, married to Carole Lombard?”

“You mean the answer to the question?”

“Yeah.”

“You mean the one for the wedge?”

“Yeah.”

“You mean Cary Grant?”

“Yeah. Cary Grant.”

“Is that your final answer?”

“Yeah.”

“Wrong. It was Clark Gable.”

“%$#%^&.”

So I was happy when I saw this article in Prevention Magazine. I’m going to start tricking my brain into making me smarter instead of dopier.

This is my favorite game so far …

You say out loud the color each word is printed in—not the word itself.

If I play it enough, I’m going to reward myself with a trip to Toronto to see the world’s tallest building. Then I’m going to watch The Thin Man starring Cary Grant.

What’s your favorite way to get smarter?

The Marshmallow Test

This is a fascinating experiment. Such a simple thing to ask yet so difficult to accomplish.

There are many times I wonder if I’m in some sort of hidden camera experiment and people are watching to see what I’ll do.

Like the other day at the grocery store. Were they ignoring me at the seafood counter on purpose to see how long I’d wait while they went about their business which didn’t seem to include selling me salmon?

Or are there cameras hidden around my house so my family can have a great big guffaw watching me sneak olives out of a tall jar with my short fingers? It probably wouldn’t even make them giggle since they’ve seen worse. Much worse. And if they did giggle? I’d just say, “What are you giggling at?” with my mouth crammed full of olives. Of course, it would come out, “Mrphhpwicka?” but still, it would show ’em.

So watch The Marshmallow Test and try to picture what you would have done when you were a kid. I particularly love the girl who mugs for the “hidden” camera.

What would be a good hidden camera experiment for adults?

Fourteen Reasons Why Being a Blogger is Better Than Being a Logger

• Fewer blisters.

• No slogging through mud to get to work. All I have to do is kick piles of dirty socks, pizza crusts and newspaper clippings away from my desk chair. I don’t even need boots for that, most of the time.

• I’m only responsible for my own limbs.

• I don’t have to live up to Paul Bunyan’s standards. I only have to keep up with Xi Xue or Dawn Yang. Who? Exactly.

• We both use bull lines, but mine don’t hurt my shoulders.

• The only rivers involved in my work are Riverdance, Riverdale, and YouTube videos of funny ways people fall out of boats.

• Bears don’t try to eat me—or my lunch—for lunch.

• I’m not required to wear plaid shirts, which is good as they make my neck look fat.

• No guilty loss of sleep due to clear-cutting virgin old-growth forests.

• I’m not called wood hick, river pig/hog/rat, or catty-man—at least to my face.

• I can work year round rather than seasonally. And if I don’t feel like working, I can cruise over to YouTube and find videos of extreme shepherding; I can close my eyes and memorize a page in my Urban Dictionary; or I can vote on entries from AITA.

• I only have one job title and it’s not whistle punk, chaser, high climber, choker-setter or tie hack.

• Blogging isn’t voted one of the worst, most dangerous jobs. Although time will tell.

• No scooping up after Babe, the Blue Ox.

On the other hand, there are no chainsaws, log rolling, or flumes for bloggers. And no BloggerJack Picnics where we compete in various bloggy events. There’s no jaunty Monty Python song about me, and I’ve never seen a school Blogger mascot.

Hmm. Maybe I should look into being a logger instead. After all, they’re practically required to eat loads of flapjacks and wear those cool suspenders. Besides, I’d probably look awesome in a beard. As long as it’s not plaid.

Do you think being a blogger is better than being a logger?

Do You Have Paraskavedekatriaphobia or Friggatriskaidekaphobia?

If you do, you’re probably cowering under your covers instead of reading this because today is Friday the 13th. Both of those delightfully king-sized words describe a fear of this supposedly evil and unlucky day.

Paraskavedekatriaphobia comes from the Greek word for Friday, Paraskevi. Here’s how to pronounce it.

Friggatriskaidekaphobia comes from the Norse Goddess for Friday—Frigg— in mythology. Here’s how to pronounce it.

And there’s another fun word— triskaidekaphobia— which is the fear of the number thirteen. Here’s how to pronounce it.

Commit these to memory and you can win bar bets galore and any game of Scrabble, assuming you amend the rules allowing for the turning of corners.

I’m not particularly superstitious, although I love that commercial that plays during football games with fans doing ridiculous things so their team wins. “It’s only weird if it doesn’t work.” Not that I’ve worn my lucky Bronco socks and only eaten blue and orange food for the day. That would be silly. And clearly doesn’t work.

I’m not mocking anyone who has this phobia because at least 8% of the American population suffers from it. Symptoms can range from mild nervous giggling to full-blown panic attacks and refusing to leave home that day.

This fear has its seeds throughout history and across cultures and religions. In British culture, for instance, public hangings took place on Fridays and there were 13 steps to the gallows.

Conversely, the number 12 is associated with goodness or completeness—12 days of Christmas, 12 months, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 Krispy Kremes in a box, and such.

Personally, I think it’s simply a case of confirmation bias. If you’re superstitious about Friday the 13th, you’ll notice all the unlucky things you encounter on that day. But those unlucky things are just as likely to happen on Wednesday the 18th—you just don’t care or notice.

In National Geographic I read, “In other countries, Friday the 13th isn’t unlucky. For instance, in Spain, Tuesday the 13th is considered the day to dread. And in Italy, people fear the 17th day of any month. Why? Because the Roman numeral XVII (17) can be rearranged to spell “VIXI,” which means “my life is over” in Latin. But no one can prove that more terrible things occur on those days, either.”

Now, I said I didn’t have many superstitions, but then I started thinking about it. I don’t walk under ladders. I knock wood. I hunt for four-leaf clovers. I keep an old horseshoe going the right direction so the luck doesn’t run out. And I never, ever, EVER stepped on a crack lest I broke my mother’s back.

I have been known to gleefully break chain letters, however.

What about you? Are you superstitious? What are some of the funny ones you’ve heard? Does Friday the 13th hold any sway over you?

… But It Makes Perfect Sense

Remember last week when I posted about my new obsession with online jigsaw puzzles?

We were having a GIGANTIC thunderstorm so I went downstairs where the noise from the hail wasn’t quite so deafening and tried to distract myself with a jigsaw puzzle.

One of the other “weighty mental paths” I traveled while I worked on it ended up being something I keep thinking about.

I’m a plotter by nature. I outline my books start-to-finish before I ever begin writing them. I like organization. I make lists for practically everything. At my house I have “a place for everything and everything in its place.” A new set of nesting Tupperware makes me positively giddy.

I began to wonder if there was a correlation between my love of crosswords and jigsaws and the way I live my life.

This is how PUZZLING INK, book 1 in my Crossword Mysteries begins.

The perfection of a pristine crossword puzzle grid always made Quinn Carr’s pleasure center buzz. Like being touched by the hands of a lover, but better. Not like she’d felt that in a while, but she had a vague memory.

The puzzle was orderly. Symmetrical. No chaos. No mess. No negotiation. Only one correct answer.

A puzzle grid never looked at you funny when you agonized over some marketing sociopath who couldn’t understand that “pepper, black” was worlds apart from “black pepper.”

Crossword puzzles never judged you. Unlike the people who thought they knew all about you simply because you were in your thirties, had to move home with your parents, and needed—needed—to alphabetize their spices before you could continue creating the crossword puzzle for the local Chestnut Station Chronicle.

Quinn Carr, as you might know, has recently been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which really rocked her world. OCD is fairly common and there is an enormous spectrum of behaviors, but basically it’s a condition where someone might have unreasonable thoughts or fears (obsessions) that lead to repetitive behaviors (compulsions).

When I started thinking about the hook of crosswords for a cozy series, I wondered what kind of person would be really good at creating crosswords. Obviously, it would be someone who liked order.

As it occurred to me that Quinn would need to always bump up against herself in these books, I realized she probably required a diagnosis of OCD. Guess what are the four main ways OCD manifests? Contamination and washing; doubt and checking; taboo thoughts; and … order and arranging.

Thus was Quinn born.

I did a lot of research and interviewed a lot of people who are challenged by OCD and I’ve been told I’ve done an excellent job with my portrayal of Quinn, which thrills me. I didn’t want her to be a caricature, but I also didn’t want her diagnosis to define her. I wanted her to be fully realized, but with a bit of baggage. I’ve also had a lot of people write to me and tell me how happy they were to see mental health issues brought up in cozies. We all struggle with something, right? That makes us human.

I declined to write more than three books in the Crossword series because I felt like I did what I set out to do with them. (Plus, they were really hard to write! I had to learn to construct crosswords as well, which is a story for a different day.)

But I’m proud of those three books and think about Quinn quite often. Especially when I’m solving a jigsaw puzzle or crossword.

I’ve come to realize I’m drawn to order instead of chaos, neat rather than messy. I’ve always been this way so it makes perfect sense that I’m a plotter rather than a pantser when I write. I’ve never even attempted to write anything without a framework in front of me. (You might not be surprised to learn that I make my grocery list in the order I travel my grocery store, and not even with one of those pre-printed ones. Off the top of my head! They recently remodeled my store and, needless to say, that certainly threw a wrench in my works!)

Now, if I could only figure out a way to organize those hail storms. Or supermarket managers.

Let’s take an informal poll—are you an organizer who likes puzzles? An organizer who doesn’t like puzzles? Do you run your life by the seat of your pants but enjoy the control of solving a puzzle? Does chaos infuse every aspect of your being?

It’s So Puzzling …

I have recently discovered my love for jigsaw puzzles. Well, technically, I’ve always liked jigsaws, but haven’t done them since I was a kid when my mom would set up the card table and dump out a box. What changed was I found an online app—Jigsaw Planet—that is perfect for my iPad.

At breakfast and lunch, I typically solve crosswords while I eat, but I’ve got to focus on those. One day there was a story I wanted to listen to on NPR, and I remembered Jigsaw Planet. I jigged and listened and ate and had a grand ‘ol time.

I can’t do more than about 300 pieces because I just don’t have enough room to arrange them to my satisfaction. It seems 224 or 260 is my sweet spot. (Someone pointed out to me that I can change the number of pieces for any puzzle, which truly and irrevocable rocked my world.)

The funny thing about my system is that I never remember what picture I’m trying to create. I choose something from a bunch of thumbnails …

… click on one of them …

… then start sorting pieces.

Then I put together the frame.

As I put it together, I kinda sorta remember what picture I’m trying to make …

And then I finally finish.

Because I completely lose track of time, I must set my timer. By the time I come back to it, I have absolutely no idea what I’m supposed to be doing. Seascape? Elephant? Minnie Mouse? Colorful Havana taxis? No idea. You can click a button to see the picture again, or even put a ghost image on the board. Both of those seem like cheating, though. *shrug* I’ll see it when I’m finished.

There’s a truly satisfying CLICK when you snap the correct pieces together, which I love. You can check the time it took you to solve a puzzle, (in my case above, 72 minutes) or see the times for anyone else, which I find horrifying and much less satisfying. It usually takes me at least five minutes just to sort my pieces, and some people have finished the puzzle in that time! Crazy! Who needs that kind of competitive turmoil in their life? And do people really sit still for 72 minutes and work a puzzle??

I also like the way solving a jigsaw allows my mind to wander, when I’m not listening to NPR, that is.

For instance, I’ve recently traveled these weighty mental paths—

• is there anyone who doesn’t find all the edge pieces first and if there are, are they psychopaths?

• if, as Jeff Goldblum says in Jurassic Park, a butterfly can flap its wings in Peking, and in Central Park you get rain instead of sunshine, then why doesn’t a ginormous albatross affect the weather on Mars? 

• if my eyelashes are supposed to keep things out of my eyes, why is it always an eyelash I pull outta there?

• how did people make the first tools, if there were no tools to make stuff?

• why don’t fish have eyebrows?

• how did it come to be that “I’m up for it” and “I’m down for it” mean the same thing?

If you want to ponder any of those while you do a jigsaw, here are a couple puzzles I made. Just click the “play as” button and make them as easy or hard as you want.

Jigsaw link for Booked, Plotted, Bound

https://www.jigsawplanet.com/?rc=play&pid=3de4d9b015bb

Nala

https://www.jigsawplanet.com/?rc=play&pid=318df7bec722

Nala

https://www.jigsawplanet.com/?rc=play&pid=30854e18da64

Aside from reading, what are your favorite ways to stretch your brain?

Weird Search Terms

People have used these terms to wander into BeckyLand. Some of them make perfect sense, but others?

• ala challenged books the book cut by pat
• church lady cake recipe?
• “my glasses” squint
• goofy horse humor videos
• pom on of mice and men (at least 100 kin
• huckleberry finn – synesthesia
• “10,000 hour rule” +”writing a novel”
• im just sayin becky
• allan pinkerton early life you are a fat penguin you stupid fatty you
• goofy texas marching band pants
• why the book “i know why the caged bird
• tuba christmas

This cyber world fascinates and disturbs me. And probably others. Like the person looking for “goofy horse humor videos” who only found a video of me.  Hey! Wait a minute!

“Goofy texas marching band pants” fascinated me. So I googled it. My blog came up as the fifth link, but how can you not investigate these other gems?

• The most effective way to strangle a band geek while still keeping their pants up. …
• If I ran for President, my platform would be… a marching band truck. … that one day the giant storm rolled in and I think I peed my pants a little …

This has got to be my favorite search term, though: “allan pinkerton early life you are a fat penguin you stupid fatty you.”

They totally win points for searching unique information, but I gotta admit, my feelings were a little hurt. Since my name isn’t Allan Pinkerton, that only leaves the fat penguin part. And I’m not a penguin.

What exactly do you think “pom on of mice and men (at least 100 kin” means? Besides the obvious—some high school student looking for homework shortcuts—of course.

Pomegranates in Of Mice and Men? At least 100 kinds? I don’t really remember a big tropical fruit scene from the book. Admittedly, I haven’t read it in awhile. And are there really 100 kinds of pomegranates?

Poem? At least 100 in King Lear? Did they get sidetracked in their research? Or were they trying to write one paper for two classes? I heartily recommend this approach to homework, by the way. I once wrote a paper entitled “Thar Juliet Blows!” combining my extensive knowledge of both Shakespeare and Herman Melville.

I guess I’ll never know what they were looking for … unless one of you ‘fesses up!

What do you think they were trying to find?