Barbara G. Tarn's Blog, page 159
January 20, 2013
Surprise Sunday
Guest post! Ladies and gentlemen please welcome Shafali the Caricaturist!
I am happy to be posting here on Barb’s blog. I’ve said it often but not enough, Barb inspires me. I admire her ability to discipline herself, her positivity, and her consistency. I don’t often wish to be like anyone else, but Barb makes me wish to be like her in many ways. This tiny story is a Thank You Note:)
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My Imagination is My World
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The soft quilt under her chin felt so good. She drew the quilt up and tucked herself in some more. The alarm hadn’t gone off yet so there was no reason for her to wake up, but in some crevice of her mind, she was already beginning to. The quilt felt good, but it felt too soft and… too unlike her quilt, and the warm glow that was beginning to spread through her cheeks too didn’t feel normal. Something was different… nice but different. The warmth felt like sunlight, but on a Monday sunlight didn’t have a reason to enter her bedroom before six when her alarm would go off, and she hadn’t heard the alarm yet.
Her eyes flew open. They were blue in color with a tinge of green – you could’ve called them cyan, but in the sunlight that streamed in from the French Windows gave them a golden tinkle – but the golden tinkle couldn’t hide her look of shock and disbelief. This wasn’t her bedroom. Her bedroom didn’t have French Windows that opened on a marble terrace, which had carved pillars on its edges and a quaint little fountain in the middle, it didn’t have that magnificent dresser that stood in the eastern corner, and for god’s sake, it didn’t have a canopied bed! Her bedroom was a modest affair, which had a simple wardrobe, a bookrack and a couple of reading lamps. A canopied bed? Good Grief!
Something was wrong. Either she had been abducted by the aliens because she was the reincarnation of their long-dead princess, or she was brought to Atlantis, or perhaps she belonged in a fairytale and the fairytale was real while the life that she had been living was actually all fiction!
After the initial shock, she decided to explore the place. It was amply clear that she wasn’t a captive here; captives aren’t given gowns of silk to sleep in. She went back to her bed and looked for her slippers. She found them – they weren’t hers, at least she didn’t recognize them as hers. Lined with fur, they were the softest things that she had ever sunk her feet into. A girl could easily get used to this lifestyle, she thought.
“So am I alone here? There must be someone else who polishes the furniture, vacuums the carpet, makes the bed, or who knows, even runs me a hot bath,” she mused aloud.
“We do.”
Her heart skipped a beat, as she almost stumbled and turned. A matronly looking maid, followed by a…butler! Good heavens! Someone tell me what’s going-on. Please.
“Great. But what am I doing here?” she asked, almost afraid to hear an answer. Any answer would make her heart stop, because all this just couldn’t be true.
“Ma’am, you were sleeping until a while ago, and now you are ready for your bath.”
Bath sounded good and mmmm…it also smelled good. As she slipped into the warm bubbly comfort of the beautiful bathtub, she decided that she’ll take it one moment at a time. She had already pinched her arm red and blue, and she knew that this wasn’t a dream. Whatever else it was, she better found out, because she was already beginning to miss her collection of books, her computer, her blog, and her stash of Bollywood movies.
When she got out of the tub, the maid was right there – she was looking through her, and funnily enough being naked in front of her felt like being naked in front of a robot. This is how those Roman women pampered themselves, she thought as the maid helped her with her dress and makeup. Makeup? I seldom used anything more than a lipstick, she thought. But then the pampering felt good.
Stepping out of the bedroom, the first thing she wanted to do was find a library and a computer. Unless she had moved into a different timeline, which she perhaps had, she’d be able to find a computer. So she asked the maid, whether there was a computer in the mansion. The maid looked surprised, but led the way into a beautiful room with bookshelves lining its walls. Those books looked so lovely, so rich – some were clad in leather and had their titles embossed in gold. Those must be the older ones. And then there was a glass cupboard right behind the handsome rosewood desk, and it contained hardcover books that looked like…fantasy literature!
She let out a long sigh, and forgot everything else. At least, this place had books that she loved to read…and write. She went behind the desk and picked up one of the books. It was a new book, one she hadn’t read before, and it looked like it could be an interesting read. While she still wanted to find some answers, the idea of leaving the sleuthing for later and enjoying the book began to brew. So she requested the maid for some tea and settled down behind the desk. The book started off well, but after a few pages, she began to feel slightly uncomfortable. The book was written in a style that she recognized well…in her own style. She turned to the first page – it was written by Katyayni! Someone else had stolen her writing style…but, wait a minute. What had the maid said? They worked for her? Did she say that? If she had heard the maid right then… a possibility began to emerge.
She got up and got a few more books out of the rack. All the books were written by the same author, but they were all printed after 2014! How could she be reading the books that were published in the future?! She could hear her heart thumping in her chest. Something wasn’t right. Who was Katyayni? She opened the drawers to find some clue. The files were neatly organized. They contained the contracts. She browsed through them…not knowing what exactly she was looking for, but she found it.
She found herself staring at the contract that clearly told her that Katyayni was Barbara G. Tarn’s newest pen-name, the name that made her the most read fantasy-fiction author ever. The contract was signed Feb 28, 2014. As she lifted her eyes from the contract, they automatically found the calendar on the desk. It was 20th of January 2020!
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We can make a world out of our dreams and live in it, and once in a while our dreams can help us make a world that will make us want to live in it!
Convoluted? It appears that the caricaturist within me is struggling to get out and speak her mind. She always exaggerates, you see
My best wishes to Barb’s readers and visitors. May your dreams come true.***
Well, thank you, Shafali, for this little story! I must admit I guffawed through it, so you not only draw to smile, but you also write to make people smile!
Anyboy else with a blog who would like to ramble in here? Just leave a comment and we’ll set it up… have a wonderful Sunday!
January 18, 2013
Random Friday
Okay, I’ll start by saying I’ve decided not to go to Paris for the book fair, because I don’t know anyone in Paris and I’m tired of traveling solo. Next year, maybe. I have other book events to attend anyway (like one in England at the end of October, I know I have someone to travel with and someone else to visit on the way there) and other trips to think about – like touring Italy and going to the medieval dinner again with Jen from Long Island, LOL! I’ll have to decide my vacation plans soon for the whole year anyway, so it doesn’t hurt to think about it! 
Today I’m off DayJob because I needed rest from the crazy place I work in and there’s threat of snow again. In case you forgot, we can’t handle snow in Rome and my bus gets canceled every time some snowflake hits the ground. So I wouldn’t know how to go to work anyway – and no, I’m not driving in the snow either. So, if the streets are clear, I might meet with my cover artist and we might work together, otherwise I’ll just stay in and format/upload/publish the latest things (announced next week – maybe. It’s B.G. Hope, although Samantha the Witch is not involved, so they might remain unsold for months, LOL).
I also want to add B.G. Hope on XinXii, where I discovered you can now generate coupons like on Smashwords. Neat! Not that I’ve sold anything on XinXii yet, but then, maybe they’re only waiting for B.G.! Oh, and Lulu paid me royalties even if I still haven’t reached the 5euro minimum to get paid – wonders never cease… they were probably sick to see them there since 2009 (although the amount doubled in 2012, so…)!
Random switch of subject – the language school called and they found another person who wanted to learn Hindi, therefore on Tuesday I’ll start my Hindi lessons, yay! Next week I’ll let you know how it went and who this other person is. My friend didn’t reply to my message, even if I told her “don’t worry if you can’t pay the Hindi course, we still have to do that Bollywood night we talked so much about last April” … oh, well, I do enjoy lonely Bollywood nights anyway (especially if I want to drool, I’d rather do it on my own, LOL)!
I’m still reading the book I started last week, but between writing, editing and the photomontage fever, I’m going slower than usual. It’s historical fantasy set in Italy in the 14th century, and I’m not completely familiar with the historical characters involved (high school trauma, haha), but I’m definitely skipping all the poetry and prayers and everything in verse (especially the English translations of Italian stuff such as… The Divine Comedy – got enough of that at school, and besides I know the beginning in Italian by heart, LOL!).
I’ve even wasted a few minutes on Wikipedia to check a few facts – but yes, I’m aware it’s historical fantasy so it’s just for my reference. And the historical character in question, Boccaccio, is even from Certaldo, the town of the medieval dinner. Still, slowing down the reading. Sigh. And I need to finish it soon because I need to read something else before I beta-read on a beloved series I can’t mention at this time, LOL! So hoping I get snowed in – will give me more reading time – I wish you all a wonderful weekend!
January 16, 2013
Writer Wednesday
Oh, shoot, it’s Tuesday night and I haven’t written one word of this post yet. Year of the Sloth #2. What happened to my Virgo’s productivity? Sigh. I didn’t have time to read blogs, so I’ve nothing to report on that side. I’m sick of doing photomontages for my colleagues and wasting time on non-writerly things (like picking up toner and cartridges for my printers – okay, when I watch Bollysongs it’s not a waste of time, mostly because it’s less than one hour a day, LOL). So today (Tuesday) I’m on strike from the photomontage fever and I’m concentrating on writing.
As it’s Writer Wednesday, here’s the update. Finishing Draft 0 of Star Minds 3, and as it’s handwritten, I have no idea of how long it is. But as I write the bones first, I’ll have to add some flesh on it when I type it. And again I have some minor changes I’ll have to remember when I do draft 1 – like Ypsilanti is matriarcal, so in the married couple the woman’s family name comes first. And they keep both names, then the children decide what they want to use (I think like in Portugal, but I’m not sure). I’m not stopping to revise this while on draft 0, but made a note in the margin of the notebook. I won’t forget if I write it down, LOL!
Anyway, I think I’m around 30K again, like Mind Link. And as I’ve been playing matchmaker on this one, I guess there won’t be a book 4, so it’s a trilogy. I’m working on the final chapter/epilogue. The Next Generation will not be included in the complete series, but the prequel about Kol-ian on Earth yes. Although I still have to write that one, hehe! Anyway, it’s not over with the main trilogy and its prequel, as there are other shorts (the “Snippets” about secondary characters or more prequels, such as Ker-ris’s marriage) and probably more to come.
Also, as I’m preparing to rewrite some science fantasy of the 20th century, I’m kind of changing planet names so those stories can me sequels of Star Minds – or when Gaia/Earth joins the Federation of Humanoid Planets and the Star Nations. The first story in that series was written in 1986 and I called it a Trilogy, but it’s probably a novel in 3 parts, LOL!
I’m also editing B.G.Hope’s next titles (short story collections) with special thanks to beta-reader Camila and mighty editor Tricia. The latter might show up on this blog sometime this year, so stay tuned… she’s a wonderful gal and I’m sure she’ll have a lot to tell – especially about foreign authors sending her their manuscripts! And she won’t be the only guest – again, if you’d like to ramble on here, just contact me and we’ll set it up!
I’m also trying to book my trip to Paris for the Book Fair, but my health is going up and down again. Gaah! Looking forward to the next stage of my life (menopause, in case you were wondering)!
Oh, and if you’re in need of an EIN or ITIN or whatnot because you’re not American but you’re selling on Amazon and Smashwords, go to this post from a UK author. I had my ITIN last week (yay), so I sent out my W8BEN yesterday to Smashwords, Amazon and Lulu. I didn’t think about enclosing a letter for Amazon (like Ross suggests), so if in a month or two I don’t hear from them, I might send it again with the letter. I did put a letter in the Smashwords envelope because I think they still have problems for us non-US authors and Mark Coker needs to know, mwahahahaha!
Okay, the wicked witch is back in the drawer now, so don’t worry. I won’t put a spell on you – haven’t figured out how to do it through the internet, lucky you. Otherwise you’d be rushing to buy all my books on an impulse, LOL!
Back to writing… and reading… trying not to watch Bollysongs…
January 13, 2013
Surprise Sunday
And the surprise is…
WELCOME TO THE 1000TH POST!!
You saw this coming? Gee, you must be psychic!
As I couldn’t figure out prizes that are not e-books, I won’t do a giveaway. Maybe I should have worked on my Zazzle shop – or started the DeviantART shop! By the way, I got a premium membership for participating in the Holiday Card Project, so I changed my Deviant name to… creativebarbwire! Big surprise, huh? Now I shall explore what on earth I can do with my premium membership for the next 4 weeks. Yay!
I actually wanted this to be totally improvised, but here I am, writing the beginning of this post on Friday night. Sigh. Some things never change. I’m definitely a Virgo. Anyway, I won’t schedule it and finish it Sunday morning – and then hit that “publish” button instead of “schedule”. Aaah, those changes will sooo upset good old me!
Draft saved. The rest is improvised!
SO! Sunday morning, I log on and find 11 spam comments. Gee, the little robots have been busy while I slept! 
Anyway, this 1000th post won’t be the best evah – actually, it might be one of the worse, but I don’t care – and I’ll use it to tell you I’ve worked on one of those new year’s resolutions. Sort of. The resolution said “go out” which I interpreted as “seeing people, doing things”. But because my eyes betray me and I hate driving at night, I decided to invite friends at home instead!
So I invited The Mighty Mapmaker, The Lovely Cover Artist and their spouses, the Mapmaker’s sister and another couple of friends who used to dwell in the Italian comicons world with me back in the 20th century. Not that we talked about comics this time, but wel… I asked them what they thought of Kol-ian by Phoenixlu, and got mixed comments as usua. Mapmaker is a wonderful artist but of the annoying kind, LOL!
I tried to put the pics of the night on Facebook and hope I managed to make the album visible only to the people present… but I really really really hate the new Facebook, and I’m going to delete that album at the end of the week. Why can’t one have peace on those darn social networks? Why do they keep “improving” what doesn’t need to be improved? Sigh.
Now my eye hurt again – it’s been hurting for the past 3 days – so I’ll get off the computer. No more photomontages this weekend, which means I’m going back to writing! Wich is wonderful as I’m steadily threading through Star Minds 3 and improvising while I go. Some day I’ll have to type the original outline and put it next to the finished novel, to show the evolution, LOL! But that’s the magic of writing, discovering that the characters know what they want or what is needed for the story even if when I start thinking loose scenes that are not really connected I have no idea of how it will actually deploy…
Extra happiness for the end of this post! Have a great Sunday!
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January 11, 2013
Random Friday
This week’s procrastination technique comes from DayJob. I guess we’re all a little under stress, so to decompress we’ve started the new year with a new game… It all started sometimes in December when a couple of male colleagues found a David Craig poster in the one of the gals’ cabinet – they put one of their faces on Daniel Craig’s. Since then it’s photomontage fever. They go around taking pics of everybody with their smartphone and then guess who has been asked to do the work?
Exactly. And because I’m the one doing the work, I’ve done my own photomontage as I wanted. They say they want me to make another, but they haven’t come up with an idea yet. So here you have it BarbAishwarya!
I can’t show the others for their privacy, but we got Asterix&Obelix, Elvis Presley, Harry Potter (with grey hair…), Wonder Woman and I’m working on more. Non-paid work, LOL. They want to make a calendar for the whole office with the pics – we’ll see. I hope I finish soon, so I can get back to writing!
Now, yesterday was Hrithik’s b-day, so I did the first Caran d’Ache (read “colored pencils” – I just like to be artsy from time to time! ) of the year:
This is the “revised” version, with background done in Photoshop and the writing added with Photoshop as well. Hope I copied correctly Shafali’s suggestions (for somebody else’s b-day), if I haven’t, apologies, I still haven’t started those Hindi lessons. Still on the to-do list. Meh. Okay, it’s only the beginning of January, so there’s not hurry, right? RIGHT? (procrastination technique again, LOL)
For the “normal” version, go to DeviantART. You might notice it’s the same pic I used to do Ker-ris (with a little nose-job, so Shafali can be happy! ) on the cover of Mind Link. That’s in case you hadn’t figured out who Ker-ris is in my head yet!
Now, thanks to all these procrastination techniques, I didn’t manage to read anything, although I’ve started a book. Hopefully next week I’ll have a book review. This blog is not Amazon, so I feel free to review fellow authors in my same genre or in other genres – I try to read in most genres, as long as there’s a story (i.e. no literary fiction, horror and erotica, as… where’s the story in those genres? No, don’t kill me, it’s only a matter of taste! ).
I also ordered 2 DVDs on Amazon (Hollywood, in case you were wondering. Well, Queer, actually, as both are gay themed), but I don’t know when I will get them. The new year has started with everything delivered late – including the toner and cartridges I ordered for my printers (I now have two, a laser Samsung and an ink-jet Canon). Sigh.
So, I guess that’s all for now… back to work on writing Star Minds 3 and doing those photomontages…
January 9, 2013
Writer Wednesday
Now I’m going to throw a tantrum. This poll had even less votes than the previous one. And I have triple number of “followers”. Bad followers. I don’t want you to like the post, I want you to vote in the poll. Sigh.
(okay, it’s a whine, not a tantrum. I’m too tired for a tantrum)
I guess that was my last poll for this blog. I’ll continue my rants without bothering to ask you anything – you won’t comment unless you have something to say anyway. So never mind, I’ll be left wondering why you come to my blog. And actually, I don’t care. Yes, I was curious, but if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine.
Dean Wesley Smith on crossover deals from self-publishing to traditional. I’m not there yet, and I’m not sure I want to get there – but if I do get there, I’ll be ready! What can I say, proud to be indie! And don’t mention the A-word to me, please. They’re going the way of the Dodo, we have no use for them in this wonderful new world of publishing. Stop trying to query them – why would you want to give up 15% of your earnings for the rest of your life for someone who isn’t qualified? If you really want to query, go to EDITORS and go for the Bix 6 or whatever they’re called. Don’t waste your time with the A-word people. I’ve become allergic to that word after reading too many of Dean’s posts about them (part 3, the unedited chapters), LOL!
The “proud to be indie” part goes well with Kris Rusch’s post on year end numbers. I do check KDP regularly because it’s the only way to keep track of my earnings on Amazon. As I’m not American, I get paid by check, and as I live in a country with third world snail mail service, I want to keep an eye on when I get paid by them so I can check my mail box more often and promply tell Mr Amazon when I don’t get the check.
Not reached the minimum yet, but I should soon, by the way. So last year I earned 100$ from Smashwords and this year I’ll probably see my fist 100$ from Amazon, where I started publishing in 2011. And half of that money will be B.G. Hope’s best-selling title (must have sold about 20 copies now, and has reached Amazon UK).
See, I’m not scared of my abismally low numbers. I’m quite happy with the results – 2011 had 0 earnings, 2012 had 100$, here’s to 2013 doubling that sum! Yeah, it will probably take me more than 5 years to quit DayJob, but as long as I don’t have to rely on them to pay my retirement, I’m fine. I’m not panicking, and I’m not stopping publishing or taking everything down.
This month I’ll have B.G. Hope’s titles out again (she’s a best seller, she must go first… sigh!), while I’m preparing Barbara G.Tarn’s comeback. I’ve completed The Death of Queen Amazonia which is now out to betas and will start on Star Minds 3 ASAP. Just went through Mind Link again, to remember where I was, LOL!
Oh, and I sold a copy of SKYBAND 12 – guess the naked man on the cover worked wonders, or maybe someone is telling me I should get back to work and draw the last 3 chapters and get done with the darn thing, but you know how one likes to procrastinate… how I’ll spend the weekend drawing with pencils so I won’t have to start on SKYBAND 13 and stuff like that! We all have our procrastination techniques (reading a magazine because too lazy to start the next book – how am I supposed to reach my goal?), and I won’t bore you with mine.
Catching up on other blogs – Blood Red Pencil’s new year resolutions. I’ll go with write more, read more and the hardest for me – go out more. See people, do things. That’s the hardest part, really. I’m a writer, I’d rather stay in with my characters. And then my back kills me because I don’t walk enough. Sigh. I don’t have a food drawer because I eat to live, I don’t live to eat. And no, I’m not going to read my dialog out loud, sorry!
And the Smashwords year in review – they have added the Smashwords Direct (which allows you to upload your own epub – personally, I like the Meatgrinder, LOL), but they still have problems for someone who needs a letter for the IRS to get an ITIN. Not my problem anymore – hopefully.
not the final cover
Which reminds me I should probably also write that non-fiction book about how to publish a book in English when you’re not a native and you don’t live in the US… And that I need a shorter title, LOL! I’ll see if I can fit it at the end of the year in the writing schedule… no use writing it now, as some things are not clear yet!
Anyway, have a great week! Back to the writing table…
January 6, 2013
Surprise Sunday
Okay, new year, new name for Sunday posts. It can be an Art Sunday, a Guest Sunday, a Six Sentence Sunday – whatever, I won’t know ahead of time, LOL!
I’ll start the year with a Poll for my 160 wonderful followers and 190 Facebook fans (and my Facebook friends, but not all of them speak English…) – don’t worry, it’s totally anonymous, don’t be afraid to answer! And yes, multiple choices are fine too!
Take Our Poll
Whew, it’s become easier to embed the polls in blog posts. Thanks WP! Lots of changes since my last poll, LOL! Anywhow, I hope this poll gets at least 100 votes (the others got a dozen votes in total…) – so go hit those buttons, thank you! Don’t make me whine it was worse than a year ago when I had half of the followers I have now…
Now we’re back to the old theme, as snow has stopped falling on WP blogs… and hasn’t shown in this town yet. But then, last year we had snow in February – the best snow since 1985.
Art Sunday! A drawing of Amazonia – will be used on the e-book cover, but not as is. Thought I’d paste it in the blog post, but there’s already one image today, so you’ll have to click on the above link to see the first Amazon Queen and read about the birth of this drawing! And then you have Selene the Huntress and her sister Aurora – first drawings with new graphic tablet mentioned in previous post! Doesn’t look different, does it? That’s why you Wacom lovers and true artists shouldn’t hiss at me. I know Wacom is the best, but for my skills Trust works fine too!
