Gregory Koukl's Blog, page 131
June 21, 2013
Exodus International Is Closing
I was saddened and surprised to hear that Exodus
International is closing
down. For over a decade, I’ve benefited from their conferences, teachers,
and insight. I’ve also referred many people with unwanted same-sex attractions
to them. Since Exodus boasted the largest network of agencies providing
therapy, they were one of my first go-to organizations when I needed to connect
people to a trustworthy ministry.
During the last year, however, I’ve been hesitant to
recommend Exodus to others. I read Exodus blogs and heard their staff say
things that I wasn’t comfortable with, theologically. I noticed that people who
I respected were leaving or distancing themselves from the organization. The
closer I paid attention to what was going on, the more I sensed things were
amiss.
I’m not privy to all the details surrounding Exodus and its
leadership. I’m not writing to point out their mistakes. I’m more interested in
looking to the future with Restored
Hope Network (RHN). This is an organization that sprung up last year that I
believe will serve to meet similar needs that Exodus once did. In fact, several
of the board and staff that left Exodus years ago started RHN. They all seem to
be theologically sound.
Their mission statement reads: “Restored Hope is a
membership governed network dedicated to restoring hope to those broken by
sexual and relational sin, especially those impacted by homosexuality. We
proclaim that Jesus Christ has life-changing power for all who submit to Christ
as Lord; we also seek to equip His church to impart that transformation.”
Be sure to also read their press
release responding to the closure of Exodus.
June 20, 2013
June 19, 2013
Fathers Don't Mother
In the past when I’ve claimed that mothers and fathers are
both necessary because they make unique, complementary contributions to the
lives of their children (e.g., see “We
Don’t Need ‘Mother’ and ‘Father’ Anymore?”), some have expressed
skepticism, asking for more evidence and a better description of the
differences.
In an article
in The Atlantic, W. Bradford Wilcox
explains what research is revealing on this subject:
What this view [that
dads are dispensable] overlooks, however, is a growing body of research
suggesting that men bring much more
to the parenting enterprise than money…. As Yale psychiatrist Kyle
Pruett put it in Salon:
"fathers don't mother."
Pruett's argument is that fathers
often engage their children in ways that differ from the ways in which mothers
engage their children. Yes, there are exceptions, and, yes, parents also engage
their children in ways that are not specifically gendered. But there are at
least four ways, spelled out in my new book, Gender
and Parenthood: Biological and Social Scientific Perspectives
(co-edited with Kathleen
Kovner Kline), that today's dads tend to make distinctive contributions to their
children's lives.
Some excerpts from his description of these four differences:
The Power of Play: "In
infants and toddlers, fathers' hallmark style of interaction is physical play
that is characterized by arousal, excitement, and unpredictability,"
writes psychologist Ross
Parke, who has conducted dozens of studies on fatherhood, including a study of 390 families
that asked mothers and fathers to describe in detail how they played with their
children. By contrast, mothers are "more modulated and less arousing"
in their approach to play…. [F]athers typically spend more of their
time engaged in vigorous play than do mothers, and play a uniquely physical
role in teaching their sons and daughters how to handle their bodies and
their emotions….
Encouraging risk: In their
approach to childrearing, fathers are more likely to encourage their children
to take risks, embrace challenges, and be independent, whereas mothers are more
likely to focus on their children's safety and emotional well-being.
"[F]athers play a particularly important role in the development of
children's openness to the world," writes psychologist
Daniel Paquette….
Protecting his own:
Fathers play an important role in protecting their children from threats in the
larger environment…. Of course, mothers can do this, to an extent. But fathers,
by dint of their size, strength, or aggressive public presence, appear to be
more successful in keeping predators and bad peer influences away from their
sons and daughters. As psychologist Rob
Palkovitz notes in our book, "paternal absence has been cited by
multiple scholars as the single greatest risk factor in teen pregnancy for
girls”….
Dad's discipline:….
In surveying the research on gender and parenthood for our book, Palkovitz
observes that fathers tend to be firmer with their children, compared to
mothers. Based on their extensive clinical experience, and a longitudinal study
of 17 stay-at-home fathers, Kyle Pruett and psychologist Marsha Kline Pruett
agree. In Partnership
Parenting they write, "Fathers tend to be more willing than
mothers to confront their children and enforce discipline, leaving their
children with the impression that they in fact have more authority”…. In
their view, mothers and fathers working together as co-parents offer a diverse
yet balanced approach to discipline.
According to Wilcox, studies also
show that the presence of a good father in an intact family greatly lowers the
risk of delinquency for boys, teenage pregnancy for girls, and depression for
both boys and girls.
Read the rest of the article
for more details.
June 18, 2013
Links Mentioned on the Show
The following are links that were either mentioned on this week's show or inspired by it, as posted live on the @STRtweets Twitter feed:
Darwin's Doubt: The Explosive Origin of Animal LIfe and the Case for Intelligent Design by Stephen Meyer
Intelligent Design 101: Ground Zero, the Burgess Shale at Evolution News & Views
Darwin's Dilemma: The Mystery of the Cambrian Fossil Record – Illustra Media video
Flight: The Genius of Birds – Illustra Media video
Metamorphosis: The Beauty and Design of Butterflies – Illustra Media video
Race, Sex, and Marriage by Amy Hall
Same-Sex Marriage Quick-Reference Guide by Greg Koukl
It's Not About Equality by Amy Hall
Does God Hate? Video by Greg Koukl
Drifting toward Darwin by Greg Koukl
Listen to today's show or download any archived show for free. (Find links from past shows here.)
To follow the Twitter conversation during the live show (Tuesdays 4:00–7:00 p.m. PT), use the hashtag #STRtalk.
When Youth Pastors Ought to Feel Responsible
My first year as a youth pastor was a challenging year of self-evaluation. When I was initially offered the job, I wasn’t sure I could lead or teach high-schoolers; I’d been working with younger students and my own children were not yet teenagers. But I was ambitious and eager, so I accepted the position. I spent several months trying to decide what the teaching focus should be for my group. I surveyed some of the key seniors who had been in the ministry to see what they thought. We ended up doing a series on James and Ecclesiastes, and most of my energy that first year was expended on designing the Sunday service. I was concerned about “relevance” and spent a lot of time trying to understand how to communicate to this age group. I thought experience was as important as content. Actually, I thought experience was more important than content. My students got their money’s worth every Sunday. It was a musical, visual smorgasbord of video, images, interactive eclecticism and burning candles. It was ridiculous.
At the end of the first school year I could tell something was amiss. Most of my key seniors seemed disconnected and disinterested. I got through that first summer and the first semester of the next school year, striving continually to capture the imagination and attention of my student congregation. At Christmas break that year I had an epiphany. One of my key seniors from the prior year returned from Sonoma State where she had been attending her first year as a College freshman and announced to her parents that she was no longer a Christian. I got the call from her mother. I met with this student and she told me about her new life as an atheist. While I was frustrated and didn’t seem to be able to persuade her otherwise, I also wondered if she was the exception or the rule. I did some research on my other graduating seniors from the prior year. All but one had left Christianity, and they were only in their first semester as freshmen!
I knew I was a large part of the problem. I spent several weeks learning the truth about the flight of young people from Christianity and then committed myself to be a part of the solution. I overhauled my youth ministry and became a Christian Case Maker. I’m still upset that I didn’t do it earlier. I came to faith through a careful and exhaustive examination of the evidence (as I’ve described in my book) yet I abandoned that approach once I had the chance to work with students. I falsely assumed they would be more interested in an experience than an education. I got caught up in fun rather than facts. Of course, I realized now this was a false dichotomy. I began to shape my ministry around the evidence and found ways to present this evidence to the age group I was leading. I stopped teaching and started training.
When young people are asked why they walked away from Christianity, their responses typically fall into two large categories. Most express some form of intellectual or rational doubt, but others reveal a more self-indulgent motive. For many young Christians, the allure of our hedonistic culture is too much to withstand. College becomes the place where they decide to explore their selfish passions and desires. As a youth pastor, I certainly talked a lot about the moral temptations that face all of us as Christians trying to live Godly lives in an ungodly culture. But I told my students, as their leader, I felt a distinct responsibility to equip them with the evidence first, so they could make their own decisions related to their passions and desires. When parents asked me why I spent so much time training young people in “apologetics” I typically offered the same response:
“If your students leave the faith because they want to pursue their selfish desires related to sex, drugs or drinking, that’s on them. I was an atheist until the age of thirty-five; I know what it’s like to chase after all that stuff. I get it. But if your students walk away from Christianity because they don’t believe it is factually true, that’s on me. It’s my responsibility to prepare them with the truth in a way they can understand and then defend for themselves.”
As youth pastors, we need to recognize that we aren’t responsible for some of the poor choices our students will make if they decide to chase after their own lusts and passions. But we are responsible for teaching them the complete and robust truth about the Christian worldview, including the evidences and arguments they will need to defend what they believe. That’s our responsibility and that’s why it’s so important for youth pastors to be competent Christian Case Makers.
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Challenge: Jesus Is Just Like All the Others
Here's an image I came across online:
If your friend were to post this on Facebook, probably the first thing you'd need to do would be to have him clarify what claim he's making, since the image doesn't state any conclusions from its data. What questions would you ask to have him clarify his position and to challenge him? Once his position is clear, how would you refute it?
Give us your thougths in the comments below, and then we'll hear from Jim on Thursday with his answer.
June 17, 2013
What is the proper use of giving your testimony when witnessing? (Video)
June 14, 2013
One Important Reason the Church Will Continue to Compromise
Have you noticed the slow but growing compromise within the Church? It’s harder and harder to get two Christians to agree on anything related to sexuality, the exclusivity of salvation through Christ alone or even the historicity of Adam. We are a divided family, even though we share the same canonical foundation and have over two thousand years of family wisdom to guide us. I predict it will get worse. I think the Church will embrace the truth claims of the culture at an ever increasing rate because we’ve failed to make young Christians our priority. Let me explain.
It’s pretty obvious that young people are leaving the church, especially during the college years. It’s also true, however, that some will eventually return to church as older adults. When you examine why young people leave and compare it to why they return you’ll start to understand the reason the church is struggling to maintain its classic, orthodox teachings.
When surveyed about the reasons they stepped away from Christianity, most young Christians say they no longer believe it is factually true. In their book, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers, Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton asked an open-ended question of young people who said they were no longer Christians: “Why did you fall away from the faith in which you were raised?” Smith and Denton did not provide a series of multiple choice answers; they simply allowed the respondents to answer freely. The majority said they left faith behind because of intellectual skepticism or doubt:
“It didn’t make any sense anymore.”
“Some stuff is too far-fetched for me to believe.”
“I think scientifically and there is no real proof.”
“Too many questions that can’t be answered.”
Young people are walking away, in large part, because they don’t think Christianity is true. The vast majority will never return to the faith. According to a 2007 Lifeway Research Study, only 35% of church dropouts will eventually return to church (by the age of 30). My question is simply this: Why do these few returnees come back at all? Not much has been done by researchers to answer this question, but the same Lifeway study provided the following data:
51% of returnees said they were influenced by the encouragement of either family or friends
34% simply felt a desire to return
28% felt that God was calling them to return to the church
24% had children and felt it was time for them to start attending
20% got married and wanted to attend with their spouse
See the problem here? Most people leave Christianity because they no longer believe it is true; most come back because something about church “works” for them. It doesn’t have to be true, but it’s a great place to get married, find community, and raise your family. Like my dad (a lifelong atheist) has always believed: The Church is a useful delusion.
When people leave Christianity because they no longer believe it is true, then return only because there are useful aspects of the Church community, don’t be surprised to find the resulting group struggling to come to agreement on the historic teachings of the Church. Many will return, but not necessarily because they believe the Bible teaches the truth. Instead, these returnees have been profoundly impacted by their young adult experiences away from Christianity (mostly in their college years). Yes many of them will return to our family, but they come back with a new view of the world. It’s not an entirely Christian view. It’s been compromised.
This is why I think it’s so important for us to make young Christians the focus of our efforts as Christian Case Makers (“apologists”). It’s not just about reversing the trend related to the departure of young Christians. It’s about securing a future Church that has been inoculated from compromise.
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June 13, 2013
Losing Your Salvation in Ephesians 1:14-3
I’ve used Ephesians
1 in the past, usually focusing on the last two verses, when asked if a
person can lose his salvation:
[H]aving also believed, you were
sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our
inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the
praise of His glory.
But Fred Sanders has come up with a concise way of expressing
the complexities of what it would look like to lose your salvation, in light of
the full flow of thought in Ephesians 1:
Instead of asking, “can you lose
your salvation,” ask, “if Ephesians 1 is true of you, how could it reverse its
momentum and come untrue of you?”
By Ephesians 1, I mean specifically
the one long Greek sentence that is verses 3-14, which explores the “complete
spiritual blessing” with which God has blessed us in Christ. As far as I can
tell, for it to run in reverse would require something like this:
The guarantee on our inheritance
has been voided and its possession will now be forfeited; God has removed his
seal, the Holy Spirit, from us. We no longer believe the word of truth, so it
is no longer the gospel of our salvation. We have been un-predestined, have
lost the inheritance, and are back outside of Christ. The mystery of God’s will
for the summing up of all things in Christ in the fullness of time has gone
opaque and become irrelevant. An unlavishing of grace has taken place. We do
not have redemption through the blood of God’s beloved Son, so our trespasses
are not forgiven. We are unadopted, have stepped out of our predestination to
that goal, so we will never stand holy and blameless before God in love. We
have been unchosen from before the foundation of the world. No longer being in
Christ, we are no longer recipients of every spiritual blessing in him. And
perhaps God’s glorious grace, and his wisdom in salvation, will still be
praised, but not by looking at us. Avert your eyes.
We don’t talk enough about how much is involved in our
salvation. When we flatten it out to merely a decision we make, without
reference to the work of God and how and why our status has changed due to our
union with Christ, the idea that we can stop believing and fall away seems a
lot more credible than when we look at the big picture of what has taken place.
June 12, 2013
The Art of Leading Congregational Worship
I suspect you’ve seen this in church before: The worship
band begins to play a well-known hymn. The congregation confidently joins in.
Then the band creatively adds a little unexpected extra space between stanzas,
and a few people get caught singing loudly through the silence. Everyone is
immediately on guard, hesitant. Sometimes we recover, but as the creative
liberties increase, the number of people worshiping steadily decreases. We wait
quietly, listening, watching the band worship as our limited time together
slips away.
The art of leading congregational worship is being lost, and
I think we are all poorer for it. James K.A. Smith sums up very well my
thoughts on this in his “An
Open Letter to Praise Bands”:
1. If we, the congregation,
can't hear ourselves, it's not worship. Christian worship is not a concert.
In a concert (a particular "form of performance"), we often expect to
be overwhelmed by sound, particularly in certain styles of music. In a concert,
we come to expect that weird sort of sensory deprivation that happens from
sensory overload, when the pounding of the bass on our chest and the wash of
music over the crowd leaves us with the rush of a certain aural vertigo. And
there's nothing wrong with concerts! It's just that Christian worship is not a
concert. Christian worship is a collective, communal, congregational
practice--and the gathered sound and harmony of a congregation singing as
one is integral to the practice of worship. It is a way of
"performing" the reality that, in Christ, we are one body. But that
requires that we actually be able to hear ourselves, and hear our sisters and
brothers singing alongside us. When the amped sound of the praise band
overwhelms congregational voices, we can't hear ourselves sing--so we lose that
communal aspect of the congregation and are encouraged to effectively become
"private," passive worshipers.
2. If we, the congregation,
can't sing along, it's not worship. In other forms of musical performance,
musicians and bands will want to improvise and "be creative,"
offering new renditions and exhibiting their virtuosity with all sorts of
different trills and pauses and improvisations on the received tune. Again,
that can be a delightful aspect of a concert, but in Christian worship it just
means that we, the congregation, can't sing along. And so your virtuosity gives
rise to our passivity; your creativity simply encourages our silence. And while
you may be worshiping with your creativity, the same creativity
actually shuts down congregational song.
Worship leaders, if you look out over the congregation and
you see that we are not singing with you, something has gone wrong. Are you
jamming alone up there for extended periods of time? Are you changing
well-known melodies just enough to surprise us and make us hesitant to sing
out, and/or adding flair that we can’t follow? Are you choosing soloistic songs
with complicated melodies rather than musically simple ones designed for group
singing?
The best thing you can do is to consider carefully the purpose of your role as you make your decisions for each service. You have the noble position of enabling all of us to draw together as one before God to express our love and honor through a powerful medium. If you can keep that goal in mind—the goal of enabling the congregation to worship—and ruthlessly shed anything, however musically tempting, that doesn't advance that goal, we will thank you.
[HT: Justin
Taylor]
