Roland Yeomans's Blog, page 125

DUH!_THAT QUIET VOICE THAT ASKS YOU, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

Humans aren't the only ones who suffer from sagging middles.

Novels do, too.

It's accompanied by that leaden feeling that weighs you down with the mocking question:

"What were you thinking of when you thought you could write a book?"

When you hear that voice, I want you to answer, "DUH!"


D ..... DISASTERS
U ..... UNDERLYING

H ..... HEROES





DISASTERS:
I.) Disaster


When your novel's middle sags, you certainly know that word. It's what you feel you are writing!

II.) Escalating Disasters ...
A.) are what make up the backbone of the best novels.

B.) without them, you're just writing a news snippet for CNN.

C.) Each disaster must lead logically from the last one to make a coherent whole.

D.) But to interest an agent, then the publisher, and finally the reader ...

you must have a destination in mind for your hero from the very beginning.

III.) If your novel's middle is sagging then ...

A.) Like with humans, the discipline of exercise is missing.

B.) The disciplined exercise of steadily working towards a pre-conceived ending, step by logical step.

C.) Without that compass to guide you, your novel will meander all over the place, subject to the whims of your imagination.


UNDERLYING:
I.) The trouble with a novel that its very structure invites sagging in the middle.

II.) Your novel's middle will more than likely take up fully half of your pages.

A.) After that many pages, things start to look alike.

B.) The fix : underlying that middle with a tremendous disaster, rocking your hero and his world to its foundations.

C.) Shaking things up like that will awaken your readers from the sameness doze they may have fallen into :

Think Obi wan Kenobi sacrificing himself so that Luke may escape. To all appearances, Darth Vader looks unbeatable.

D.) This enormous disaster shores up your novel's middle, firming it up and preventing sagging.



HEROES:
I.) A memorable character that leaps off the page and into your reader's imagination is the keystone to the success of your novel.

A.) Think Hannibal Lector.

What? Hannibal a hero? Of sorts.


He chose his victims quite carefully. Don't agree?


Think Dexter.


Same principle. We pull for Dexter, for he has chosen an acceptable outlet for his murderous impulses.

B.) UNDERLYING comes into play again with your hero :

Your hero was not born yesterday.


He/she has a past. It will determine his or her actions. You had better know your hero's backstory.

C.) In fact, your hero's backstory may very well provide the world-shaking disasters that braces your novel's middle.

D.) You see how DISASTER - UNDERLYING - HEROES all interweave with one another?


It is a support device that wraps around your novel's middle, keeping it firm.

E.) A fully developed hero with a past, flaws, hopes, failures will make him seem real,


sucking your reader into identifying with him, rooting for him, and thrilling with him when he succeeds.

F.) Without a backstory, your reader will not understand your hero --


and more than likely, neither will you. And that slippery slope ends with a sagging middle and confused muddle of an ending.

G.) Backstory is an iceberg;

1.) The part that is important to you as a writer is the 9/10 of it that the reader cannot see.

2.) The part you must tell your reader is the tiny 1/10 above the water line.

3.) Sensory and data overload is one of the hallmarks of a sagging middle.

H.) What determines the backstory you reveal to your reader?
1.) Core truths.

2.) They determine your hero's motivations, acting as a rudder in the flow of events in your novel.

3.) They often conflict.

You know why Miss America wants "World Peace?"


She wants to impress those fuddy-duddy judges and win the war of the beauty pageant!


Stated values often clash with the real ones, motivating your hero.

II.) A relatable hero like the underdog Chris Evans portrayed at the beginning of THE FIRST AVENGER,


has the audience feel for the man behind the mask when he is transformed.


*) I hope you've found something of value in this little post. Happy New Year, Roland!
***

LET ORSON SCOTT CARD TEACH YOU HOW ...

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0812509234/

... NOT to begin your novel.
Sigh.
I listened to the first 15 minutes of this book on one of my blood runs this wet weekend. 
The unidentified narrator spent the whole time telling, re-telling, and rationalizing
why he could not tell the story.
By the end of that agonizing time, I heartily agreed that neither he nor Mr. Card could tell the story.
I switched off the audiobook and reflected
on why such a talented writer as Orson Scott Card could go so far off the mark.
As a fledging writer, I suddenly thought of one possible explanation
since I have fallen victim to the problem myself.
HE COULD NOT GET BACK INTO THE FLOW OF THE STORY HAVING LEFT IT FOR SO LONG
So he pumped out word after word in a desperate attempt to tap into the fires of his tale once more.

I think we all have been there. 
But once we grasp the lightning once more, we edit those stumbling chapters out of the novel.

In fact, I have adapted that flailing into a way to add depth to my long-lived hero, Samuel McCord.

I write the first beginning chapters of my newer novels as earlier episodes of his long life,
taking enemies and friends made in those exploits
and weaving them into the tapestry of the latter chapters taking place years later.
You get a sense of time passing, of lessons learned, of mistakes haunting the better man he became.

Which leads to another chaffing thing to JOURNEYMAN ...
Alvin and his love, Peggy, are too old to continuously make the same mistakes made in their teens. 
They seem forced to act in ways, contrary to people in their late twenties,
just to advance the story where Mr. Card wishes it to go.
This series is supposed to be the Saga of Alvin Maker ...
and yet halfway through the novel,
(I was driving 15 hours straight Sunday so I kept on listening)
Alvin is in perhaps 10% of this novel so far.

I am in no way close to Mr. Card's caliber of writing ...
not even in the same galaxy even ...
So I am not holding my own novels in comparison to his.
Yet, reading ALVIN JOURNEYMAN is like going to the Louvre
and see da Vinci had given the Mona Lisa a pig's snout.
The first three novels are excellent though so read them ...
and you may well find yourself of a different opinion than mine about this novel.
Here's hoping Orson Scott Card does not know my address!

DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE SUNSET_IWSG post

The movies have taught many in the entertainment field (like we writers)

that either you soar and reach the rarefied air of Super-Stardom or you are a failure.

Was Emily Dickinson a failure just because she was never recognized in her lifetime?


She tenderly crafted the words singing to her soul 

and wrote what she felt was beautiful and true even if no one else felt the same.


Do you think she felt herself a failure?  I hope not.


What will we do to our souls 

if we follow the Yellow Brick Road left by the footprints of some best-selling author?


Sean Rowe's song, TO LEAVE SOMETHING BEHIND, 

heard at the end of the excellent movie, THE ACCOUNTANT, speaks to me on this.


Did it speak to you?

You may never reach Mt. Everest's top, 

but if you reach the peak of your own abilities and help others along the way ...

your pockets may be empty, but your soul will be full.



Perhaps the sun has set on your dream of best-sellerdom, 

but sunsets have their own beauty and their own quiet peace.


 And sunsets are but the promise of new dawns.  I wish you new fulfilling dawns, my friends.

WHAT WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU DO THIS NEW YEAR'S EVE?

What will be the last thing you do this New Year's Eve?

Or if it has passed, what was it?

What will be, or was, the last meal for you in 2016?


STRANGE NEW YEAR'S EVE BELIEFS
1.) IF YOU DON'T KISS SOMEONE AT MIDNIGHT, YOU WILL BE UNLUCKY IN LOVE ALL YEAR


2.) EMPTY CUPBOARDS MEAN THEY WILL STAY EMPTY ALL YEAR

I wonder if that goes for empty heads as well -- which would explain the politics of this last year!


3.) OPEN ALL THE DOORS JUST BEFORE MIDNIGHT
 
That is to let out the Old Year and let in the New Year will all its promise.

All the Democrats across America are not only flinging open all their doors tonight, but their windows, too!


4.) EAT 12 GRAPES AT MIDNIGHT

One for each month -- that is just in case you do not like cabbage and black-eyed peas!


5.) NO LOANS TONIGHT

A full wallet seems to give promise for a full bank account during the New Year!


6.) NO TEARS AT MIDNIGHT

Lest you have a year full of sadness.


HERE IS MY WISH  FOR ALL OF YOU TO HAVE  MORE SMILES THAN TEARS  THIS NEW YEAR!

WHOSE FOOT?

The shades of years past watch us.We, of the modern age, stumble and bumble our way,
sure of our sophistication and education.

But what if there are principles of which we are unaware that take no notice of our ignorance of them ...

only chastise us when we break them.



After all, gravity takes no breaks ...

it only gives them

Take "First Foot,"



a custom concerning the first visitor of the New Year to a home.

His function is to bring prosperity and good fortune for the ensuing 12 months to those he visits.



He comes just as soon as possible after midnight, bringing gifts which symbolize plentiful food, health, and wealth. Sometimes he carries an evergreen branch as a symbol of continuing life.

Strict rules govern the choice of First Foot:



Male always for he symbolizes the New Year.



No redheads need apply.





The luckiest representative is a dark-haired stranger, symbolizing a new year full of undiscovered mysteries.

An old form of First Foot has the visitor entering silently, greeted by none.



He goes straight to the hearth, laying the evergreen branch on the fire and a sprig of mistletoe on the mantle above.



Then, he turns and greets those living in the home, and festivities ensue.


I wonder what thought first visited the homes of our minds last year?

Did it symbolize the atmosphere, the temper of our thoughts for the remaining 12 months?

What thought do you think should first visit your mind this New Year? What First Foot will be your physical first visitor?


Can you remember who first entered your home last January? Did he or she reflect the luck and temper of the following 12 months?

Just thought it would be fun to think on these questions, Roland

THE OLD YEAR WAS DYING

The old year was dying,

the tolling bells ringing out its dirge in the night.



Alice squeezed my hand tight,

her death-cold fingers reminding me that I had someone to be strong for.

Shadows were heavy in the LaPrete Mansion's upper dining room.

Of all the places I wanted to spend New Year's Eve with the ghoul of my dreams --




this was the very last.

Cezar Prodanescu, wheezing the prelude to his death rattle, spoke from the oak chair at the head of the dining table.



"Victor Standish, you and your ghoul cost me. That building was going to be my last project."

I shook my head. "The thousands of Katrina orphans needed that place."

"You made the buyers think it was haunted!"

"What can I tell you? My mother's good at making ghosts."




Cezar's son scowled at me. "Because of you we have been made to endure this tedious Romanian ritual."

His wife, sitting beside him, patted his hand. "Andrei, remember your blood pressure."

Cezar snorted, "All you care about, Andreea, is the million dollar bearer bond right beside that New Year's Eve Mask."

Her daughter whined, "Grandpapa, must I wear this mask, too?"




He flashed a dying wolf's smile at her.

"If you want your own bearer bond, Doina, yes.

Besides, I made yours a faerie princess. And you only have to wear the mask until the bells stop."

Her brother glowered at the mask on the table before him. It bore an uncanny resemblance to Alfred E. Neuman.


"Look at what he wants me to wear!"

Cezar snorted, "Then, don't wear it, Gavril. But you will receive nothing!"

Reluctantly, Gavril put it on.





Andreea looked with disgust at her own mask in the shape of a wrinkled old shrew. She fondled the bearer bond.

She put on the mask.

Andrei flicked dead eyes to the pig mask and barked an insult of a laugh.



"You have made me wear so many masks, Father. What is one more?"

He put it on.

Cezar pointed to the braying donkey mask in front of me.





"Wear it and I will call off my lawyers from delaying that orphanage."

I shook my head. "The deal was you would do it if I showed up."

His smile reminded me of a snake's - but without as much humanity. "The deal has changed."

I shook my head. "My word hasn't. I've showed up. No jumping through hoops."

Alice lightly touched her mask on the table top done up like a snake's face. "Victor, the orphans."

Cezar turned to her. "Don your mask, and I will still call off my lawyers."





She took her hand from mine. She picked up the mask, slowly bringing it to her face.

I went cold.

Something was brewing, but I knew Alice. If I told her not to, she would do it out of spite.

Cezar looked nothing so much as a vulture as he watched her, then turned to me.

"Tell her not to, boy. You want to."

"I - I love Alice too much to take away her right to choose."

Alice's eyes rimmed in black tears. "So I choose ... you."



She placed the mask down.

Cezar scowled and put his skull mask on.

He slid Alice's mask to Doina. "Wear it, and you will receive ten bearer bonds."

"T-Ten?" She tore off the faerie mask, putting on the snake one.

The tolling bells were reaching the end of their countdown.

The Prodanescu clan glared at their patriarch. Alice smiled softly and took up my hand again.

The tolling died away.


Andreea wrenched her mask off. Doina screamed wetly. I felt like screaming myself.

The mother's face was an exact copy of her mask.

Andrei ripped his mask off.

A wet pig's snout quivered at me.


Doina sprang from her chair, sending it to the carpet.

She raced to the ornate mirror. A snake's face stared slit-eyed back at her.


She started screaming in peals I knew would never stop until her last breath.

Gavril just sat shivering in his chair. Alice slowly, slowly reached out to Cezar's mask.

As soon as her fingers touched the mask, the rubber band crumbled to ash.

Cezar's skull mask dropped.



Andreea began to titter in gibbering madness.

Though dead, Cezar looked merely asleep.

I turned to Alice. "Next New Year's Eve? No parties."
***

POST-CHRISTMAS DEPRESSION?

"Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were."
 - Samuel McCord


"We don't receive wisdom.  We must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us but ourselves."
- Oscar Wilde






Many Americans are experiencing Post-Christmas Depression.


They feel like a dead Christmas Tree tossed on the side of the road.


Often we have a loopy, taffy-twisted vision of what Christmas should be like.


It doesn't mean everyone has to pretend to be happy when they're not.


Geez, that can be depressing all by itself.




Sometimes we remember the Christmases of our childhood through time-fogged glasses. 


As older adults, we see more clearly the social dynamics going on all around us.


Take heart if you are currently suffering from it. 


Post-holiday depression generally only lasts for a short period of time.




STEPS TO TAKE TO TACKLE THOSE BLUES







1.) CREATE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO


That movie you've been wanting to see.  Make time to see it -- hopefully it will be a comedy.


Start counting down the days to when you can do that special something.  It will help.






2.) THE FUNNY BONE IS REALLY A MUSCLE


Remember what I said about that movie comedy?  Rent that DVD all your friends are talking about like CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE with the Rock and Kevin Hart.


Exercise that funny bone of yours and you will feel better.










3.) DON'T PAY TO BE DEPRESSED!


There are books, TV shows, and movies that leave you feeling depressed even if you weren't before the experience of viewing them!


Viv of ZEN & THE ART OF TIGHTROPE WALKING:
https://zenandtheartoftightropewalking.wordpress.com/2016/12/28/comfort-literature-the-new-trend-for-2017/


writes that she


"would like to see trending in the new year a literature that comforts.


Not schmaltzy, saccharine candy-fluff books that pretend everything is nice and rosy


but books that have a strong core of something special, something strong and real and comforting."


Me, too.


COMFORT LITERATURE she calls it.








4.) GET A MOVE AND YOUR GROOVE ON


A buildup of carbon dioxide in your blood (from shallow breathing) is a natural depressant --


as is alcohol (so drinking to feel better is an emotional oxymoron.)


So although feeling glum is unlikely to put you in the mood to exercise,


getting up and active is actually one of the best things you can do.


Jog, walk, or dance (by yourself if need be) each day. 


You will find yourself in a far better mood at the end of those steps!








5.) YOU FEEL WHAT YOU EAT


While it may be tempting to bury your sorrows under piles of junk food,


a healthy diet is actually much more effective at helping you feel good.


Some mood-boosting foods to stock up on are those containing B vitamins


(which help the brain produce serotonin)


such as wholegrains, nuts and marmite, and those containing Omega-3 fatty acids


(which can help lift depression), such as oily fish or flaxseeds.








6.) LOOK OUTSIDE YOURSELF


In our world are those who could do with just an unexpected small kindness. 


Be a distributor of random acts of kindness.


A cat or dog rescued from the pound could be the very thing to turn your mood completely around.








Just research the personality types of the different breeds, trying to match them to your own.






HAPPIEST OF NEW YEARS, MY FRIENDS!!

SUPERSTITIONS OF NEW YEAR'S EVE

Although many of us do not admit to it, we do believe or follow some superstition at one time or another.

Knock on wood?  

I do, usually have to resort to knocking on my head, the universality of plastics you know.

Have you known people to stop a dog from howling to prevent death or 

to get married on a rainy day to insure a long and happy marriage?

 New Year’s Eve also has its fair share of strange myths and weird superstitions 

that are followed by many around the world. 

Here are a few:

1. No sweeping on New Year’s day.  

They say that it is an ominous act and can sweep away the good luck of the entire family.

Well, why not? Anything that keeps you from the nasty chore of cleaning is welcome, right?


 2. Wearing new clothes on New Year's Eve.

 They believe that it ensures a constant supply of new clothes for the whole year to jazz up the wardrobe.


 3. No empty pockets
 
There are people who insist that one should take care to avoid wearing a dress with empty pockets on New Year’s Eve 

since it may be a sign of very low or no income in the year to come.


4. Say no to chicken
 
If you cook any chicken dish on New Year’s day, you will have monetary troubles for the rest of the year.
 
So now you know who is responsible for all your financial troubles this year… 

Colonel Sanders!


5. Don’t do laundry
 
They say that if you do your laundry, you will certainly wash off your luck or will face a year of hard work. 

Even more ominous, doing laundry on this day is also associated with facing a family member’s death.
 
What can I say? These myths sound like work-relieving fun to me!


6. Don’t cry, honey!
 
The wise men (and women) say that one should not be miserable on this day and neither should one cry because that depression will follow you in the year to come.

So, wipe away those tears and be happy! After all, it is a new beginning.

  
7. Be Scrooge on New Year's Eve!

You should not give your cash, ornaments, precious items or other valuable things to anyone

 on the first day of the year because it may be a sign that wealth will be flowing out in the entire year. 

So, hang on to your cash until January 2nd!

  
8. Make noise and hang a lemon at New Year's Eve.

Have you ever wondered why there are fireworks on New Year’s Eve? 

It is to scare away the evil spirits and evil thoughts. 

Even hanging a lemon in the doorway helps in warding off bad spirits.

* The First Foot of New Year has a whole post coming soon here. 


Do you know of any New Year's Eve superstitions?

NOW SHE BECOMES LEGEND

There are times when words are inadequate: ( Thanks to Jeremy Hawkins for the photo)
And I miss Kenny Baker, too.

HOW BAD WAS 2016 FOR YOU?

It has not been a year filled with wonder, has it?  

Unless you are wondering how it all got this crazy.

But time is not an episodic TV program.  

It flows from one season to the next without pause or commercial break.


The Calendar Year is not some sort of Cosmic Etch-A-Sketch 

that gets shaken blank by the final descent of the Glowing Ball over Time's Square.


The whole world will stay as much a war zone as it was during 2016.

Remember when 2015 was the worst year ever, according to everyone in your Twitter timeline? 

How about 2014? 

Here’s the thing: 

Each year is the sum of hundreds, if not thousands, of years 

of oppression, class conflict, and geo-political maneuvering. 

Horrible things are going to happen regardless of the calendar year. 


We look into the mirror of our memories from the past year and see not an objective representation of what was ...

but a reflection of who we were and who we became. 





 On this day in 1936, Clare Boothe Luce's The Women opened on Broadway, 

the first of its record-breaking 657 performances.

The play was attacked by harsh criticisms, but Boothe rose above it all.

The Women brought first-fame to Luce, and opportunities 

which her beauty, considerable ambition and adequate talent would not waste.

 Her writings extended from drama and screen scenarios to fiction, journalism, and war reportage. 

She became the wife of Henry Luce, publisher of Time, Life, Fortune, and Sports Illustrated.

Clare Boothe Luce became the first American woman 

appointed to a major ambassadorial post abroad. (Italy)


What am I saying?

Life is an unknown, dusty road winding in surprising, often unpleasant ways.

I choose to look at the moments of this past year filled with kindness, compassion, and beauty, 

leaving the thorns behind for they have drawn as much blood as I want to give them.

No need to carry their pain with me down the path ahead, right?


In the pages of the book 2016, 

what did you find that was worth carrying with you into 2017?

How did the past year treat you?  

I pray it treats you better in 2017.