Kimberly Davidson's Blog: Author Kimberly Davidson, page 4
June 4, 2013
Who Do You Want to Be Like?
This pop culture, via the media, has made it quite clear: celebrities (or “celebs”) matter—and we are star-struck by them. The gospel of celebrity is powerful in many Christians lives. As a culture, we are fascinated with celebrities because they appear to live extraordinary lives.
The word extraordinary literally means extra ordinary, as in, way more than average, exceptional. Based on what we read, hear, and see, we believe celebrities live amazingly full lives and get to do extraordinary things—things we’d really like to do. But we must ask ourselves, is that to live authentically, which is to live as your real self, the person God created you to be?
There is nothing wrong with seeking to live extraordinarily. God put that desire in each of us. He has called us to live an authentic life, to shine and rise above the ordinary. Countless teens and adults seek authenticity and the extraordinary. Yet they spend too much time aimlessly looking for value in the wrong places while it is right in front of their face. Obsession keeps us from living an authentic, fulfilling life—unless that obsession is on God. He is much more concerned about what is happening on the inside of us. He wants our passion to be directed toward himself and his Son, Jesus Christ, not a celebrity lifestyle.
2 Peter 1:3 promises: “His [Jesus’s] divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him” (NIV). We have available to us the kind of power it takes to avert ourselves from idolizing tragic figures of fantasy. We are all weak. But there is Jesus, who is powerful enough to make us strong. We must rely every day on God’s dynamic presence. As our inner life grows and prospers in him, our outward life follows. God wants to make us living letters to the world that shows everyone what he can do with human life. Everyday authentic people, young and old, are doing extraordinary things powered by God.
This world desperately needs authenticity. What our souls really desire is not mere imitation but radical identification. That is, becoming one with Christ as his life becomes enmeshed with ours. The Bible says that God, “In kindness he takes us firmly by the hand and leads us into a radical life-change” (Romans 2:4, MSG). The trademark of a Christian is the transformation into a new and far more authentic person.
Many today say they don’t want “religion” because it’s too binding and controlling. They’d be right; many religions and practices are. Bob Dylan sang, “You’re gonna have to serve somebody.” God even said, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve” (Joshua 24:15, NIV). Every person has a choice between serving two masters: an icon or Jesus Christ.
In first chapter of A Purpose-Driven Life, Pastor Rick Warren writes,"It’s not about you. The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It’s far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose."
Consider the words of the Shorter Westminster Catechism: “The chief end of man is to serve God and enjoy him forever.” In fact, empirical evidence now shows that human beings may be born with a desire for a relationship with a “Transcendent Other,” and that longing begins to reveal itself in children as young as three years old.
God tells us, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart” (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV). Our purpose is not to copy or out do the next person or to become famous and wealthy. We shouldn’t be trying to fit in so hard when God has made each one of us an original. Every person has been set apart to do something no one else can do.
The apostle John said, “…in this world we are like him [Jesus]” (1 John 4:17). In other words, as a believer we can be the mirror image of Jesus. The Bible says we have been created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). What we see and hear in Christ is what God intended man to be. We learn about the image of God by studying the life and work of Jesus Christ—the divine prototype.The starting point is realizing that developing an authentic relationship with Jesus takes time, intention, risking trust, and may involve traveling on some tough roads—just like any other important relationship. As we come to know Jesus on a personal level and fix our thoughts on him we become more like him and difference makers in this tough world.
The best coaches will tell you that their job is to push each person on the team do what they don’t want to do so they can reach the goals they’ve dreamed about. These people don’t have to do what the coach tells them—they choose to. Basketball Hall of Fame player and coach John Wooden said, “There is a choice you have to make in everything you do. So keep in mind that in the end, the choice you make, makes you.” So again I ask you, “who do you want to be like?”
Food for thought: BIll O'Reilly's book Killing Jesus is coming out soon. I will be curious to see how it sells compares to his best-sellers Killing Lincoln and Killing Kennedy. We'll see! Thanks for checking in today!
May 30, 2013
The Denial Trap
Most professionals agree: denial is the unintentional failure to deal with pain. Ask any kid—if they know punishment is inevitable they are tempted to lie to avoid pain. It is not necessarily all bad because it can be a coping skill which initially numbs us to changes we don’t wish to acknowledge due to circumstances such as a loss or death or grave disappointment. It can be a buffer to the psyche. In these kinds of cases, denial is usually the first stage of the grieving process.
While we all use denial to a certain extent to cope with pain, we never do so without risk. It tends to catch up with us when we fail to accept the truth. Denial is a powerful tool the enemy uses to convince us we have control of our lives. Scripture says, “Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light” (2 Corinthians 11:14).
We find it in the workplace: “My job is safe”; in schools: “It’s the teacher’s fault I got an F”; and most often, in relationships: “The reason he hurts me is I don’t show him the respect he deserves.” We hang onto the misbeliefs in an effort to soothe the inner anguish. It allows us to avoid coming to terms with what’s really going on.
Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Luke 6:41). The Message paraphrase reads, “It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own.”
Never underestimate denial’s ability to cloud your vision. Remember, facts don’t cease to exist because they’re ignored. Take responsibility and say, “I have an issue. I want to deal with it now.” Confess to God. Then tell one safe person. Ask the person if she or he would be an accountability and prayer partner. It is essential to walk in the light of a Christian community.
We can choose to see truth and reality. We can grab God's hand and choose to step out of our comfort zone and begin the transformation process into Christlikeness. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes! Yes! Yes!
This is an excerpt from my book Something Happened On My Way to Hell by Kimberly Davidson.
May 21, 2013
Drunk and Stupid
Friday night…Barney’s Bar & Grill…downtown Cedar Rapids…that’s where you’d find me. Barney’s was my Cheers; a place where I belonged; a place where I could sing and laugh; a place where I could get smashed and not be judged by other drunks. On this particular night a parental figure, concerned for my safety, gave me twenty dollars and told me to take a cab home. He made me promise. Of course I will! Take one guess where the money went.
The lights flickered on and off to the sound of, “We’re closing. Time to go!” I staggered to my car, a brand new Olds Cutlass which belonged to my employer. Unfortunately, unlike many other Friday nights, I located the car, got in, started the engine, and aimed for home.
A light turned red. I failed to stop. Crunch! Bang! I hit the truck in front of me. A man in his thirties emerged and appeared fine. His bumper took the brunt of the impact. However, the entire front end of my new company car was damaged extensively. A police officer arrived on the scene…and he wasn’t in a pleasant mood. He had come from another alcohol related accident which involved a fatality. Sobbing, I pleaded, “I live only two blocks away. You can take me home. …Please!” He didn’t accommodate my request. I went through the usual booking process and was then led to my cell for the night. I cried myself to sleep. When I woke in the morning I met two young women in the next cell who also were charged with DUI. They placated my guilt and shame for the moment. Then the time came to stroll next door for arraignment. Hand cuffed and completely humiliated, I conformed to the rules so I’d be released as quickly as possible. A first time offender, I was riddled with guilt and anxiety—guilt about what had happened and anxiety about my future. Trouble had only begun. A whole assemblage of stressors waited in line ready to wreak havoc.
As I look back to the countless times I drove drunk, I am truly blessed I never killed or severely hurt anyone. God had been very gracious. There is no such thing as karma, luck, or coincidence in the Christian life. If God is in control of everything, then what appears to be karma, luck, or coincidence is really a divine appointment made by God. It is no accident that today I teach and minister to women in a federal prison. My soul-hole was deep and stressed out. Because I chose not to fill it with Almighty God, I continued to live in the dark and in bondage. I drank in a futile attempt to self-medicate. Over the years friends called me on my bad behavior. My response, “I was drunk.” In other words, I’m not accountable for my actions! Addiction alters the brain chemistry affecting the process of thought and decision making. Denial, minimization, and justification are common.
There was no joy, no hope; only fear and self-condemnation. The shame kept feeding every destructive behavior: the bulimia, drunkenness, and promiscuity, which continued to feed the shame, fueling a never-ending cycle over which I had no control. Asking for help meant admitting I failed. People would see me as a phony. It felt safer to wear a mask of secrecy and deception.
The apostle John said, “People who do what is wrong hate the light and don’t come to the light. They don’t want their actions to be exposed” (John 3:20, GW). Long term recovery is possible with our great Physician. After surgically repairing my heart and mind, I eventually healed after twenty years of substance abuse (to alcohol, laxatives, diet, caffeine pills). Never give up, “For nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).
Facing temptation is unavoidable. Even Noah, a God-fearing man, wasn’t immune. We find in Genesis 9:20-25, Noah, the man who walked with God and did all he commanded, laid drunk and uncovered in his tent.
After the account of the Flood and the divine promise given through a rainbow, why did the author include a story of drunken stupor, sexual immodesty, family shame, and a curse? Why didn’t the writer take a red pencil and “x” it out. What I know is, “All Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). There must be a moral and spiritual lesson for us.
In this story we’re reminded of mankind’s heart condition toward dysfunction. God saved Noah and his family, but salvation is not the same as transformation. Believers still fall into sin. We are not guaranteed of instant holiness when we say yes to Jesus Christ. It is the beginning of a journey into spiritual growth and godliness called sanctification.
Noah reminds us that we’re all sinners and mortal. Growing certainly involves an obedient response. But the Christian life isn’t about God barking orders from on high and we dutifully obey…or else. Rather, we choose to be obedient as our hearts and minds are changed by his grace.
Another reason for including the text might have been to highlight the consequences to Noah’s behavior. Noah’s grandson, Ham, and his descendants are cursed for his actions. As my life story illustrates, there are always consequences to destructive actions. We should understand our roots. Some of us inherited our troubles. Alcoholism frequently recurs in one’s children despite evidence that addictive behavior is not inherited. Children of alcoholics, for example, often become alcoholics because their parents modeled addictive behavior. “Monkey see, monkey do.” Many substance and behavioral addictions are passed on from generation to generation. It will continue until the behavior is stopped permanently.
God is the only one “who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things” (Psalm 103:3-5).
This is an excerpt from the book "Something Happened On My Way To Hell" by author Kimberly Davidson
May 17, 2013
Transform Your Thinking
Whenever people try to make changes in their lives, there is a tendency to start out well but they end up doing exactly what they do not want to do. The apostle Paul experienced this in, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do” (Romans 7:15). Like us, Paul struggled with his human nature. If we can stop the negativity going on in our heads, we can also stop our negative behaviors; therefore, we are not helpless nor are we captive to our genetics or predispositions over which we have no power. Instead, we have the power to change and stop the cycle of destructive behaviors and attitudes.
When the apostle Paul wrote "be transformed by the renewing of our mind” (Romans 12:2) he knew God would not have told us this if God didn’t give us the ability to do it. To renew our mind is to begin to replace all the faulty thinking, the lies and misbeliefs, with truth—with the Word of God. This is exactly what Paul was talking about when he wrote in Philippians 4:8, "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." [It is noteworthy that he wrote this while in prison under conditions that would make any normal person depressed!]
God gives us the ability to think like this. Think of your brain like a snowy hill in winter. Aspects of that hill—the slope, the rocks, the consistency of the snow are a given—like our DNA and family history. When we slide down on a sled, we can steer it and will end up at the bottom of the hill by following a path determined both by how we steer and the characteristics of the hill. Where exactly we will end up is hard to predict because there are so many factors in play.
What will definitely happen the second time you take the slope down is that you will more likely than not find yourself somewhere or another that is related to the path you took the first time. It won’t be exactly that path, but it will be closer to that one than any other. If you spend your entire afternoon sledding down, walking up, sledding down, at the end you will have some paths that have been used a lot, some that have been used very little…and there will be tracks that you have created, and it is very difficult now to get out of those tracks.
We all have mental tracks that get laid down. They can lead to good habits or bad habits. It is possible to get out of those old tracks and start new ones. It can be difficult because once we have created these tracks, they become “really speedy” and very efficient at guiding the sled down the hill. Our usual obstacle is giving up familiarity and comfort. Additionally, stress, fatigue, and not having basic needs met, will tempt us to stay on the same course.
Every day we make thousands of choices. Much of what we do comes from habitual behaviors. Most of our decisions are made by our unconscious. We gravitate towards familiarity; even though it may be unhealthy, it is comfortable. To take a different path becomes increasingly difficult unless a roadblock of some kind is put in the path to help us change direction.
It works this way: You have a thought. Your brain releases chemicals which can be emotionally toxic or not. An electrical transmission goes across your brain. Then you become aware of what you’re thinking. Thoughts stimulate emotions that result in an attitude which finally produces behavior. Allowing our minds to dwell on envy, lust, greed, or revenge only leads to bad behavior. All negative or wrong behavior starts with that one thought. Ongoing negative behavior eventually wreaks havoc on our minds and bodies.
When we become aware of a negative thought, we have a choice: to let it go through or put up a road block. The answer: put up a road block. Where do we get this road block? The living Word of God. It’s the God tool we use to erect a road block.
Eugene Peterson, The Message, paraphrases 2 Corinthian 10:5-6, “We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.” The NIV Bible says, “we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” That means we interrogate it and toss it out, or let the thought through.
Author Kimberly Davidson
- Kimberly Davidson's profile
- 4 followers
