S.C. Skillman's Blog, page 15

Eleanor Peterson and the Ancient Diary

Today I reblog one of the dry satirical offerings from my son Jamie’s very funny blog: The Lower Strangling Chronicles. I happen to know the inspiration for this particular episode: a delightful pub not far from the Tower of London called The Hung, Drawn and Quartered, with a quote from Samuel Pepys’ diary on the wall.

The Lower Strangling Chronicles

In the morning, I went out to Charing Cross, to see Major–General Harrison hanged, drawn, and quartered; which was done there, he looking as cheerful as any man could in that condition.

Newly-turned-eleven-year-old Eleanor Peterson closely examined the 362 year old diary, completely forgetting the world around her.

Ever since she’d received the Diary of Samuel Pepys from her parents for her 11th birthday that morning, she’d been so engrossed in it that she’d forgotten that she’d had other presents to open.

“Are you going to open any other presents, darling?” Sarah said.

Eleanor said nothing, still transfixed by the diary.

“I think we’ve lost her, love.” Dave said.

“Hmm,” Sarah replied.

“Nerd.” Will said.

“Don’t say things like that about your sister, Will.” Sarah said.

“But she is, just staring at that leather book like that. It’s weird.” Will said.

After a while, Eleanor…

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Introducing Golden Healer, new YA paranormal fiction by MJ Mallon, out now

Today I am delighted to be sharing with you everything you need to know about ‘Golden Healer, ‘ the newly-published Book 2 in MJ Mallon’s ‘The Curse of Time’ series. Author Marje Mallon is a member of my authors’ community; I had the pleasure of meeting her at a Bloggers Bash event in London, and over the past few years she has been a great support to me, along with fellow authors and bloggers. I’ve read and reviewed other books she has written, along with the first book in this series, which I found fascinating. I look forward to reading ‘Golden Healer’ soon and putting my review on Amazon. The series is now out with Next Chapter Publishing and I love the covers of both books. Reading Marje’s YA stories, I must say I can see Tim Burton directing the film of the books! Her kaleidoscope of imaginative, quirky ideas with a dark element captivated me. You will see what I mean when you read the blurbs.

Genre: YA Paranormal Fantasy

Series name: The Curse of Time Book 2

Release Date 23 January 2022

ASIN: ‎B09R1MTQPY

ISBN:  979-8407305149

Page Count  336 kindle

Buy Link: https://books2read.com/u/mgjY67

Author MJ Mallon in Cambridge, England

Dedication

Dedicated to the one and only rollercoaster that I ever rode. It was in Portugal, and I was on holiday with my young family. I’ll never forget that day, I overcame my fears and rode a rollercoaster with the encouragement of my much-loved family, my husband, David, and daughters Natasha and Georgina. So, it’s time to ride another rollercoaster… I hope you will come along with me for this crazy ride! Let’s meet our fears together…

Blurb – Golden Healer

Golden Healer is The 2nd in The YA Paranormal Adventure Series – The Curse of Time.

I didn’t think my life could get any weirder, until the dreaded rollercoaster…

Amelina Scott’s destiny is to be a Krystallos: a magician of light, chosen to learn the ways of crystal magic on her 16th birthday. Located on a river pathway in a mysterious part of Cambridge, the Crystal Cottage is guarded by mythical beings.

Unfortunately, there are those who seek to harm this haven of light. Learning of Ryder – a Shadow Sorcerer with hypnotic powers – Amelina discovers that her own magic is now threatened, and that the Curse of Time might be unleashed again.

As secrets abound and the creatures of the Chronophage come alive, can Amelina become the true magician she needs to be?

A unique, imaginative mystery full of magic-wielding and dark elements, Bloodstone is a riveting adventure for anyone interested in fantasy, mythology or the world of the paranormal. NOTE: this book contains mention of self-harm, mental health issues and alludes to the potential dangers of sexual attraction, which may trigger younger/sensitive readers.

The two books in MJ Mallon’s ‘Curse of Time’ YA fiction series

Bloodstone (The Curse of Time Book 1)

Genre: YA Paranormal Fantasy

Series name: The Curse of Time Book 1

Release Date 22nd June 2021

ISBN:

Paperback 979-8525375833

Hardback  978-1006529818

Page Count 290 pages

Buy Link: https://books2read.com/u/bOyrgW

Blurb – Bloodstone

I didn’t think my life could get weirder, but I was wrong…

Fifteen-year-old Amelina Scott lives in Cambridge with her dysfunctional family, a mysterious black cat, and an unusual girl who is imprisoned within the mirrors located in her house.

When an unexpected message arrives inviting her to visit the Crystal Cottage, she sets off on a forbidden path where she encounters Ryder: a charismatic, perplexing stranger.

With the help of a magical paint set and some crystal wizard stones, can Amelina discover the truth about her family?

A unique, imaginative mystery full of magic-wielding and dark elements, Bloodstone is a riveting adventure for anyone interested in fantasy, mythology or the world of the paranormal.

TRIGGER WARNING: this book contains mention of self-harm, mental health issues and alludes to the potential dangers of sexual attraction, which may trigger younger/sensitive readers.

Awards:

The First book in the series Bloodstone has received many fantastic reviews and a finalist book award recently from Amazon influencer N. N. Light, receiving a review rating of 5+ stars. Yes, she loved it a lot!

N. N. Light’s review – Bloodstone:

A magical invitation, that doesn’t tear up, urges Amelina to go to Crystal Cottage to seek out the hidden secrets of her family. Amelina Scott knows her family isn’t what you call normal and neither is her house. No one she knows has a girl trapped in the mirrors. When she receives an invitation to visit Crystal Cottage, she doesn’t know what to make of it. Is it a prank? Is it a trick? She decides to ignore it and throws it in the trash. Only it doesn’t stay in the bin. She tries to cut it up but it doesn’t cut. It sings, it dances, it is somehow alive. She finally decides to travel to the Crystal Cottage to see what happens. Along the way, she meets Ryder and discovers magic (both light and dark) is all around. She interacts with magical people, beings, and objects while learning the truth of her family. What happens next will astound you, the reader. Are you ready for an adventure?

Bloodstone is an imaginative fantasy adventure I enjoyed from start to finish. From the first page, I connected with Amelina. She’s a delightful heroine. I could relate to her on so many levels. Everything from her curiosity to her reactions to her emotional state rang true. While it’s tricky these days to write an original fantasy story, M.J. Mallon wrote one of the most original fantasy books I’ve read in a long time. Taking bits from fantasy authors of the past, M.J. Mallon adds her own blend of magical realism and emotional coming of age to make Bloodstone a gem. The plot moves at a good pace with each chapter starting with a puzzle. What a creative way to keep the reader invested. The world-building is intricate and riveting. The characters are engaging and easy to connect with. Overall, Bloodstone is a brilliant story and when I finished, I wanted to read it all over again. If you’re a fantasy reader, you need to read Bloodstone. Highly recommend!

Disclaimer: I received a copy from the author in the hopes I’d review it. My thoughts are all my own.

Her Rating: 5+ stars

https://www.nnlightsbookheaven.com/post/bloodstone-br

https://www.nnlightsbookheaven.com/post/2021-book-award-finalists/

MJ Mallon’s published books The Series is inspired by:

The Corpus Christi Chronophage clock on King’s Parade, Cambridge. Find out more here:

http:// http://www.johnctaylor.com/the-chronophage/

https://mjmallon.com/2017/09/17/poetry-inspiredby-the-dragon-chronopage-colleens-weekly-poetrychallenge-no-50-haiku-tanka-haibun-voice-watch/

And Juniper Artland – artist Anya Gallaccio’s sculpture The Light pours out of Me. https://www.jupiterartland.org/art/anya-gallaccio-the-light-pours-out-of-me/

And the 2nd book Golden Healer mentions a popular old haunt of Cambridge  which has since closed down – Clowns Cafe.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

My alter ego is MJ – Mary Jane from Spiderman. I love superheros!

M J Mallon was born in Lion city Singapore, a passionate Scorpio with the Chinese Zodiac sign of a lucky rabbit. She spent her early childhood in Hong Kong. During her teen years, she returned to her father’s childhood home, Edinburgh where she spent many happy years, entertained and enthralled by her parents’ vivid stories of living and working abroad. Perhaps it was during these formative years that her love of storytelling began bolstered by these two vivid raconteurs. She counts herself lucky to have travelled to many far-flung destinations and this early wanderlust has fuelled her present desire to emigrate abroad. Until that wondrous moment, it’s rumoured that she lives in the UK, in the Venice of Cambridge with her six-foot hunk of a rock god husband. Her two enchanting daughters have flown the nest but often return with a cheery smile.

Her motto is to Do what Your Heart Desires.

And her favourite genre to write is fantasy/magical realism because life should always be sprinkled with a liberal dash of extraordinarily imaginative magic!

Accolades: M J is a finalist in the Fantasy category of N. N. Light’s Book Award for her novel Bloodstone and a finalist in the International author. She has also contributed best-selling short stories to Dan Alatorre’s Box Under The Bed anthologies.

Winner of the Blogger’s bash blogging prize with her flash fiction piece The Queen’s Dress Down Day. https://mjmallon.com/2018/03/21/the-bloggers-bash-blog-post-competition-2018-the-queens-dress-down-day/

Winner of Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Contest with her murderous piece: Mr. Blamey https://carrotranch.com/2017/12/19/winner-of-flash-fiction-contest-7/

Also By M J Mallon

Next Chapter Publishing

Bloodstone (The Curse of Time Book 1)

https://books2read.com/u/bOyrgW

http://mybook.to/bstmm

https://www.nextchapter.pub/books/bloodstone

Kyrosmagica Publishing

Mr Sagittarius ( Poetry , p rose and p hotography )

http://mybook.to/MrSagittarius

 This Is Lockdow n ( Anthology/Compilation ) 

Kindle: http://mybook.to/Thisislockdown

Paperback: http://mybook.to/Thisislockdownpb

Lockdown Innit: Poems About Absurdity ( Poetry Collection )

http://mybook.to/Lockdowninnit

Amazon Author Page:

***

Contributor to:

Writing Skills Anthology

100 Ways to Write A Book compiled by Alex Pearl: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09PHHC2YX/

Chasing Driftwood’s A Year of Writing Through Lockdown:

Short Stories in Anthologies:

Bestselling horror compilations

Nightmareland edited by Dan Alatorre

Scrabble Boy (short story)

Spellbound edited by Dan Alatorre

The Twisted Sisters (short story)

Wings & Fire  edited by Dan Alatorre

The Great Pottoo (short story)

Authors Links:

Authors Website: https://mjmallon.com
Authors Amazon Page: https://www.amazon.co.uk/M-J-Mallon/e/B074CGNK4L

Buy Link Bloodstone (multiple platforms): https://books2read.com/u/bOyrgW

Next Chapter Publishing Author Page: https://www.nextchapter.pub/authors/mj-mallon
Twitter: @Marjorie_Mallon – https://twitter.com/Marjorie_Mallon 

Authors Bloggers Rainbow Support Club on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1829166787333493/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/17064826.M_J_Mallon

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/m-j-mallon 

Author Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mjmallonauthor/

Bookstagram: https://www.instagram.com/mjm_reviews/

Clouds

Today I share with you this reblog of a post by artist Adam Tucker. I follow Adam on Instagram and love his art: I have prints of four of his paintings in my house. Every year, when Warwickshire Open Studios is held, Adam is one of the artists I visit. This year I have just joined Warwickshire Open Studios myself, and hope to exhibit some of my paintings at their Summer Art Weeks. ( see ‘My Artwork’ on the menu).
In this post, Adam writes about painting clouds – and that’s something I’d like to become better at myself so I shall study this post carefully!

Adam Richard Tucker

Most of us, I am sure, have at some point or another looked up at the clouds and imagined the animals we can see in their shapes. This has got a name. It’s called pareidolia. Can you see the two cats fighting below? Or is that just me?

I don’t know about you, but I very rarely look up nowadays, and even notice the clouds. They’re just there. Oh of course I notice them if they’re doing something strange or out of the ordinary, like being lit by a wonderful sunset. But whole days can go by and I don’t even look up at all.

And that is a great shame. The clouds are awesome! I remember early experiences of flying above the clouds and seeing their amazing castle-like shapes rising beneath the airplane. I used to imagine that that was what Heaven was like. I actually Heaven is nothing…

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Cover Reveal: Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire, due out from Amberley on 15 April 2022

Today I’m delighted to be able to share with you the Cover Reveal for my new non-fiction book, which will be published on 15 April 2022 by Amberley Publishing.

Full cover of Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire by SC Skillman, pub 15 April 2022 by Amberley Publishing

On the front cover, from top left, you will see a statue of Warwick’s hero Guy of Warwick; the Bear and Ragged Staff insignia, whose origins go back to the Norman earls of Warwick; and a view of the courtyard at Warwick Castle, taken from the top of Guy’s Tower. On the bottom row, from left, you will see the Percival Guildhouse in Rugby, the former home of Matthew Bloxam who rediscovered a Roman town on Watling Street, over a thousand years after it had disappeared from history; a picture of Plum Jerkum, Warwick’s own Border Morris side who tour Warwickshire villages to celebrate the Wassail and numerous other traditional ceremonies; and a view of the Judges House and Old Shire Hall, Warwick, very close to the site of the former town gallows and gaolhouse, formerly the scene of many macabre and curious ancient customs.

On the back cover you will see a photo of the gothic tower of St Mary’s Church, Warwick, a church rich in history, founded nearly 900 years ago. This photo was also taken from the top of Guy’s Tower at Warwick Castle.

In Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire I share many quirky and intriguing tales from around Shakespeare’s county.

The book is on pre-order so why not head over and register your interest right now!

Do sign up for my mailing list here

A Visit to Compton Verney, Warwickshire, in December 2021

Compton Verney in Warwickshire is one of my favourite places; an elegant Georgian house set in a glorious landscape. A visit here and a walk through the Capability Brown parklands always gives me a feeling of bliss and tranquility.

Compton Verney, Warwickshire: house seen from across the lake, with a floating Castaway Christmas tree, December 2021

Capability Brown knew what he was up to when he rode through the grounds of these English stately homes in his carriage, framing numerous views on his journey, and visualising the hills sweeping round a peaceful lake as if enfolding the viewer in a gentle embrace.

We visited in time to see some of the Christmas lights and decorations still in place in this wonderful park and art gallery, as well as two of the current exhibitions: the paintings and story of magnificent British 20th century painter John Nash (the brother of artist Paul Nash) and 17th/18th century master carver Grinling Gibbons.

I tell a few intriguing stories about Compton Verney in my forthcoming book Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire, due out from Amberley Publishing on 15 April 2022. and now on pre-order.

Here are a few views of Compton Verney.

Views of Compton Verney, Warwickshire: parkland and art gallery, showing the floating Castaway Christmas tree in the lake, and the trees of light in the entrance hall, December 2021 Please do subscribe to the SC Skillman mailing list here

A Tribute to a Gifted Friend: Multifaceted Artist Alison Hird-Beecroft

Today I want to celebrate a rare soul and gifted artist, a lover of the structure and form and beauty she found in the world, both in nature and in the built environment, who cunningly wove that into her own exquisite artefacts: Alison Hird-Beecroft.

Alison was a dear friend of both myself and my sister Julia, since the time she and her family moved into a house just up the road from us, and while we were in the early years of primary school in Orpington, Kent.

Alison passed away on Christmas morning, 25 December 2021, just four months after the death of her husband, Brian Beecroft.

Sheila (SC Skillman author) and Alison Hird-Beecroft textile artist in London 2018

We played together as children and created fantasy worlds: I was in awe then of her instinctive skill for using fabrics, assorted materials, embroidery threads and iridescent metallic papers to craft beautiful things we could both admire and play with. She would tease out embroidery threads to create glossy hair of many colours, to stick to the heads of ping pong balls to make the dolls who inhabited our fantasy world.

Over the years we also shared a love of music and singing, writing and art, and the beauty to be found in nature. Alison has left a collection of glorious artworks, and I present some of them here. These are part of a project of shadow and light photography using her stitched structures, water, glass and iridescent cellophane. Her plan was to print these on canvas.

A gallery of photographic images by artist Alison Beecroft-Hird using shadows and reflections with threaded structures and different light sources.‘Ships That Pass in the Night’ by artist
Alison Hird-Beecroft.

Of the image above, Alison wrote: ‘I looked at the photos I had taken with the two light sources and I suddenly saw what looked like ghostly ships with strange masts and rigging coming out of the mist.’

On the website of the New Embroidery Group you may find Alison’s exquisite works.

These are some of the things those who have known and loved Alison have said about her:

Thank you for posting the very sad news about Alison and her husband Brian. I was one of her school friends at St Philomena’s in St Mary’s Cray near Orpington. We used to make enamel jewellery and scrap books of our favourite pop stars in the 60’s. I will miss her very much. (Elizabeth)

I met her age 17 when we both went to the South East College of Further Education in Lewisham. She was wearing a cape and she looked extraordinary. I looked at her and was so amazed by what she was wearing and how beautiful it was, that I went straight across to her. I am very shy and it’s unheard of for me to do such a thing. But I looked at her, and straightaway I just wanted to be her friend. (Susan)

Alison was sitting next to Brian at the church art club, and Brian started to talk about an exhibition he had recently been to, and some artworks he had seen, and he began to describe them. As she listened, Alison felt a sense of recognition. She said, ‘Do you know, I think you may be talking about my artworks…’ Her hunch proved correct: Brian was. They became close after that, and later on, in 2013, they married. (Alison and Brian)

I like to imagine her being swept up by the angels on Christmas night, joining with the stars and knowing Jesus, her saviour, Immanuel, close with her. ‘The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.’ I remember singing round the piano with her one time. She will be adding her creative beauty to heaven now… Alison was certainly blessed with so much creativity… and fun. She would certainly want you to enjoy Christmas and raise a glass to her! (Caroline)

Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire Cover Reveal Coming Soon…

It’s not long now till Christmas 2021, and I was delighted to receive the first proof of my forthcoming book Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire, and of the cover design. I love the choice of photos for the cover, and their design and layout. I look forward to being able to share my Cover Reveal with you soon, early in the New Year 2022.

Hall’s Croft in Stratford-upon-Avon, the scene of many uncanny tales – photo from Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire by SC Skillman – photo by author

Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire is due to be released by Amberley Publishing on 15th April 2022.

But it is now on pre-order, which means you can go to many online book retailers, such as here or here to register your interest, add it to your “wishlist” and make sure of getting your copy, well before publication date.

Farmyard scene in Warwickshire village Lower Quinton – an idyllic rural community where a notorious murder took place decades ago which remains the longest unsolved case in the records of Warwickshire Police. Photo taken from Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire by SC Skillman. Photo by author.

Illustrated Tales of Warwickshire is packed with quirky and intriguing stories of ancient legends and ceremonies, folklore and folk customs, and unusual Warwickshire people. The 100 photos in the book are mainly taken by myself, and by my son Jamie Robinson and my daughter Abigail Robinson both of whom are excellent photographers besides their other talents: Jamie is a satirical blogger and aspiring screenwriter; Abigail is a filmmaker, editor and videographer.

To join my mailing list, please do click here

Excitement as Our Film Maker Daughter Abigail Robinson Graduates as Master of Screen Production

This morning we feel so proud, as our daughter Abigail has just graduated from Griffith University Film School, Queensland, with a Master in Screen Production.

Abigail Robinson, film maker, graduating as Master of Screen Production, Griffith University Queensland 14 December 2021

I watched the live-stream at midnight as Queensland is 10 hours ahead of the UK. It was an emotional moment as Abigail went across the stage to greet Henry Smerdon, the University Chancellor! This is the culmination of two and a half decades of passion for film making for Abigail: she started as a film-maker at the age of seven. Her first film location was the front room; her actors were soft toys; and they performed The Sound of Music. The soundtrack included Abigail singing the songs. We still have the footage to prove it! From then on Abigail never stopped: she continued to film videos at every opportunity, to construct miniature film-sets out of cardboard and other materials; and to produce short animations.

Abigail’s journey has taken her from studies in Media at Trinity School, Leamington Spa, on through Creative Media Production at Stratford-upon-Avon College, a BA in Media Production at the University of Gloucestershire and now to her Master in Screen Production from Griffith University Queensland.

Now Abigail is a fully fledged film maker and she is set to join an industry which, as James Curry, film maker, said in his keynote speech at the graduation ceremony, “is full of charlatons and con-tricksters and creative geniuses “. In a funny, honest, and very ‘real’ speech, he enjoined the new graduates to be “Bold, fearless, and above all creative.” James Currie’s credits include sound designing, acting and music, on several films, including the Australian comedy drama Ten Canoes .

Henry Smerdon, the Chancellor of Griffith University at the Graduation Ceremony 14 December 2021 in the Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre, with Abigail Robinson as she receives her Master in Screen Production

Abigail’s website may be found here. Please do contact her if you would like to hire a professional for your photography, music, promotional, corporate or book-trailer video production or editing, or indeed for your film crew. She is currently filming a troupe of Torres Strait Islander dancers in Cairns, and will soon complete a book-trailer video for my YouTube Channel – I highly recommend her to those of you who are writers, building your online promotion through video.

Reblog: A Tale of Four Villages-With-Gruesome-Sounding-Names-But-Are-Actually-Quite-Nice-Really

“Here you are, sir. The bread you ordered, all ready to go.” The miller said to John, the owner of the Hangman’s Noose.

“Thank you,” John said as he picked up the bread and went back to his car.

John always felt daunted whenever he set foot in Lower Slaughter, which was far more exclusive and upmarket than Lower Strangling, which is saying something as Lower Strangling was quite exclusive and upmarket in itself.

Simon, the vicar of Lower Strangling’s church and the chairman of the village council, had on many occasions called for some villages-with-gruesome-sounding-names-but-are-actually-quite-nice-really alliance with the Slaughters. But the Slaughters had pushed back against the motion, stating their reason as the fact that the Slaughters got their name from the Old English word for wet land, whereas the Stranglings got their name from the infamous Strangling of the Hethans in 670, an incident that was swiftly brushed…

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Reblog: A Vagrant Enters the Lower Strangling Literary Festival

https://thelowerstranglingchronicles.com/2021/11/22/a-vagrant-enters-the-lower-strangling-literary-festival/

Today I reblog this wonderful post by my son Jamie Robinson on his satirical blog. It was surely pure coincidence that he had recently been to the Brechin Bookfest in Scotland!

“Well, everything seems to be in order.” The Rev. Simon Abernathy said as he observed the various tables dotted around the village hall; awaiting their respective authors.

“Yes, I think we’re ready to welcome people.” Dave said.

Lower Strangling had never held a Literary Festival before, in fact it was never considered. But the economic setback from the numerous COVID lockdowns was so great that the money made from the Village Fete in July was not enough to cover it. So, other ways to make money had to be considered.

It was Dave who put the idea of a Literary Festival forward to the village council. Initially the idea was rejected. After all, they didn’t have a connection to books and literature like Hay-On-Wye had, and Upper Strangling up the road seemed a more likely place to hold one. But eventually they went with it, as it seemed more original than a charity bake sale. Also, this was Lower Strangling. Anything they did was guaranteed to bring in loads of people.

And so, here Dave and Simon were, in the village hall waiting for the authors and visitors to arrive.

A whole range of authors had been signed on to attend. An amalgamation of local smaller authors and more famous ones; including legendary fantasy writer Tristan Vimes.

“When are the authors arriving?” Dave asked.

“Sometime between now and 10:00, I believe.” Simon said.

“Ok.” Dave said.

Just then, as if on cue, a man with scruffy black hair, unkempt stubble, and a long black coat entered the village hall and walked towards Simon and Dave.

“Ah. I wasn’t expecting vagrants to turn up.” Simon said.

“We’ve never had a homeless person here before, have we?” Dave said.

“No. The Stranglings aren’t really a place homeless people congregate.” Simon said, before walking up to the vagrant in question.

“Hello, sir.” Simon said politely. “We are delighted you’ve come to visit us this morning, but you’re not allowed in here I’m afraid.”

“Hmm?” The man said, vaguely bemused.

“If you’d like to go to the vestry, I’ll be with you shortly and I can contact a local homeless shelter for you to go to.” Simon said.

“Oh no, I’m Tristan Vimes.” The man said to Simon, realising what was going on.

“Ha, ha. Yes. Very funny.” Simon said. “Now then, I’ll show you to the vestry.”

“No, really. I am Tristan Vimes.” The man said. “I’m here for the Literary Festival.”

Simon laughed again.

“I’m serious.” Tristan said. “Would it help if  I got my books out of my car to show you?”

Simon laughed once more, not really listening to the man.

“Simon, I think he is Tristan Vimes.” Dave said.

“No he isn’t. Look at him, he’s clearly homeless.” Simon said. “I admit he’s very funny, but he’s still homeless.”

Just then, a women entered the village hall with a suitcase.

“Hi,” the woman said, “Felicity Addaman, I’m here for the Literary Festival.”

“See. That is an author, this is a vagrant.” Simon said.

“Simon, I think he actually is Tristan Vimes.” Dave said. “Maybe you should let him unpack his car and set up his stall.”

“Yes. Listen to him.” Tristan said.

“You can’t honestly think this man is a successful fantasy novelist.” Simon said. “He probably doesn’t even have a C in GCSE English.”

“Actually, I have an A*.” Tristan said. “It’s on my website.”

“A likely story.” Simon said. “Now please, go to the vestry and I’ll join you in a moment.”

Tristan sighed.

“Fine.” He said, before leaving to go to the vestry.

“Now then, if you’d like to follow me, Felicity.” Simon said before showing Felicity to her table.

“That may have been Tristan.” Felicity said. “He’s not like other people.”

“Not you as well.” Simon said. “Now please, come.”

Simon showed Felicity to her table and then went to the vestry to help the vagrant.

But when Simon got to the vestry, the vagrant had gone. Upon realising this, Simon went back to the hall.

“The vagrant seems to have gone.” Simon said once he’d got back. “I’m sure he won’t bother us again.”

“But what if that person was Tristan Vimes?” Dave said.

“Trust me, he wasn’t.” Simon said. “If you don’t believe me now, you’ll believe me when he enters the village hall later on with a more professional appearance.”

“Fine.” Dave said.

After a while, all the other authors had arrived and set up their stalls. Every genre was represented, non-fiction was too.

Even Micheal Richard James, the New York History professor who wrote the definitive history of Lower Strangling and had lived in the village during the 80’s had flown over from the States in order to sell his iconic book; Lower Strangling: the definitive history of Christ’s settlement and the final resting place of the Holy Grail.

There was something for everyone.

However, there was just one problem; a table was still empty. Tristan Vimes had not arrived.

“Do you still think that person you shunned wasn’t Tristan Vimes?” Dave said.

“Yes. I’m sure Tristan is just running a bit late.” Simon said. “Rye is a long way away.”

“Hmm.” Dave said.

When the Festival officially begun, the village hall was packed. All the authors had sold at least a few of their books. Everything had gone without a hitch as was expected.

But Tristan’s table was still empty, and people were beginning to notice.

“Has Tristan had to cancel?” The woman said. “We only came here because Susie wanted to see him.”

“No he is still coming.” Simon said. “He’s just running a bit late that’s all.”

“Or, he was the first to arrive and the organisers turned him away because they thought he was homeless.” Dave whispered to Simon.

“Best not to dwell on it.” Simon whispered back.

“It was bad enough that H. P. Granger was cancelled because she was murdered by those activists.” The woman said before leaving the village hall with her disappointed daughter.

Despite the lack of Tristan, the crowds still came to the festival, bought books, listened to talks, and generally enjoyed themselves.

But then, all of a sudden, they left. The village hall was empty two hours before the festival was due to end for the day.

“Oh, that’s odd.” Simon said. “The festival isn’t due to end until five. Where’s everybody gone?”

“They’ve probably had their fill.” Dave said. “But oh well, there’s always tomorrow.”

“There’s still two hours to go.” Simon said. “I’m sure people will come flooding back in once Tristan finally shows himself.”

“You still think that’s going to happen?” Micheal said to Simon.

“Yes. Anything is possible.” Simon said.

Eventually the clock struck five and no one had turned up. Simon, Dave and the other authors left the village hall and locked up for the night, ready to do it all over again the next morning.

“No idea why everything suddenly died two hours before the festival ended.” Simon said.

“No, neither do I.” Dave said.

And so the two men bade each other goodnight and went home.

Meanwhile, two miles away at the Golden Pheasant in Upper Strangling, legendary fantasy author Tristan Vimes was still signing books for the large queue of people in front of him… and he was only halfway through.