Kimberly Kinrade's Blog, page 27
July 3, 2011
Why We Stay
[image error]I wrote of this once. In fiction. It was easier to speak in third person, hiding behind the characters I created. "When he choked her to near unconsciousness", I could protect myself with that invisible wall.
But it's time. To speak out. To use my name in telling my story. For myself. For others. Because I have the words to speak of it when so many others don't. And then the question inevitably arises…
Why do women stay in abusive marriages? This is what most people think, if they don't ask it outright. Hell, I STILL ask this question, as I have yet to come up with an adequate answer for myself.
The short answer is I don't know. But it's not why you think. How do I know? Because I stayed for almost 10 years. And it wasn't for any reason that most people imagined.
After all, why does a dying frog stay in a boiling pot of water? Because it takes time for the heat to be a true threat.
By then it's too late.
The signs were there from the beginning, but to a young girl blind with love (or lust?) they were easy to ignore.
We met at a bar, but it was a fluke, right? I rarely went to bars. No reason to think he was an alcoholic just because he was there that night too.
He promised to cut back, and he did. Our whirlwind courtship left little room for the demon of doubt to wiggle his way into our love.
The first time his arms wrapped around my body, not in love, but in hate and anger, I was unprepared. He was drunk. I was desperate to keep him from driving. I ended up in a heap on the floor, throat sore from choking, the sound of his screeching tires telling me I'd lost him.
I was still there three days later when he finally decided to come home.
It was then that I knew I'd also lost myself. (And everything in our joint bank account!)
Next, the demon of war came to our home. He was on alert to fight in Iraq. To save lives with his medic training. In and out of these threats, we tried to stay strong. Ignoring the heat building around us.
This death of soul crept into me slowly. Stealing away at who I was, while I fought to keep my life from falling apart. Then the demon of fear came to live with us. It was to him I was married for nearly a decade.
If you had asked me 13 years ago what I would do if a man strangled me, threatened to kill me, or hurt me in any way physically, my answer would have involved many expletives and a detailed description of what his key body parts would be doing without him.
I was strong. Beautiful. Independent. Intelligent. Educated. Trained in martial arts. A feminist. I was all the things you would NEVER expect of an abused wife. And then I became an abused wife. And all those other adjectives fell to the wayside as I became a ghost of myself, haunting my own life.
My husband wasn't an evil man. I wasn't a spineless, uneducated wimp. These are stereotypes that people like to imagine are true, so they feel immune to the realities of what could be.
Why do women stay in abusive relationships? Because we don't feel the heat until death has already stolen our bodies and destroyed our souls.
~~~
You can read the rest of this 'Unbreakable Heart' blog series on Lifarre, a wonderful network for women.
You can read the rest of my story in "Bits of You & Pieces of Me" for 99cents on Amazon.
But whether you read more or not, please know that Domestic Violence is real, and is probably happening to someone you know ~~ and you'll never even know.
June 29, 2011
Down with Dystopia a guest post by Mickey Reed
First of all, if you aren't familiar with what dystopian means, here's the deal: dystopian novels revolve around the idea of a new society that represses its citizens and has power over everything. Usually the world as we currently know it is over for one reason or another – be it war, disease, or something like that. This fresh society has all new rules and is closely controlled in an attempt to make a utopia. These mostly fail because there is always someone (usually the protagonist of the novel) who wants to break free.
Adult dystopian literature has been around for quite a while, starting perhaps most notably with H. G. Wells, Jack London, and E. M. Forster. Aldous Huxley's Brave New World was inspired by H. G. Wells, and on it went. Fahrenheit 451, Lord of the Flies, and Atlas Shrugged were written in the 1950s. Even A Clockwork Orange is part of the dystopian genre. Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale is still a popular feminist dystopian (or speculative fiction, maybe?).
Then there came The Giver by Lois Lowry, a young adult version of this genre, and the face of popular dystopian
changed. Quite a few authors have noted this one as their favorite novel (to which I say, "Really??" but I digress).
Lately I've noticed a crop of young adult dystopian novels filtering in. Is this good? Yes. Lots of readers are into YA novels at the moment and would be more likely to read this genre (and expand their horizons) in YA format. Is this bad?
Yes. Dystopian novels aren't always pleasant. I'm not saying young kids can't handle it, but even if you've only seen the movie version of A Clockwork Orange or any of these books, you know what I'm getting at. In my opinion, YA dystopians get watered down a bit.
I have only just begun reading The Hunger Games, but I've heard nothing but excellent things. Divergent is another one very much on the rise. Tons of book bloggers on Twitter are raving about this one! These two happen to be favorites of Engarde99 in the dystopian world. She is "LOVING the dystopian in YA fiction.
" Perhaps there was so much hype that Divergent didn't live up to my ideas, and I'm afraid the same might happen with The Hunger Games.Either way, I'm always willing to give most things in the world of words a shot.
And give dystopian a shot I certainly have. Brave New World (adult) is one of my all-time favorite books, and I finished Wither by Lauren DeStefano (YA and definitely not watered down) recently. I very much enjoyed that one. I've also read The Giver, The Handmaid's Tale, Divergent, and Matched, and I didn't particularly care for any of them. My biggest problem is that these books generally require a whole new set of vocabulary words for their new ideas and rules.
Stories have been and can be told using English words and ideas already known to the majority, and I guess that's what I prefer.
Dystopia seems like it's hit or miss, but isn't that most genres? I guess it just depends on what you like, but you do need to give it a try to find out. I know I said that it is a "love it or hate it" kind of genre, but I'm basically in the middle. I've enjoyed YA and adult dystopian, and author Darynda Jones said on twitter that dystopian novels "will never get old" to her.
So is this a trend or a redesigned staple in the literary world? It's up to you! Let us know what you think.
~~
[image error] Mickey is a natural reddish-headed mid-twenties entertainment-of-all-kinds [image error] lover, girlfriend of boyfriend, mother of reptiles (and a cat), and addict of dessert. Anything chocolate is a welcomed gift in her life. Oh yeah, and she likes to blog.
Stalk her at her…
Blog
Twitter: @imabookshark
June 28, 2011
10 WINNERS of a signed copy of BITS OF YOU & PIECES OF ME
[image error]I had the most rockin' Facebook promo this week. OVERNIGHT I went from 270 LIKES to 513 and counting!
Never did I expect such a turnout! So, I have promised each NEW LIKE and each person who referred a new LIKE a free ebook of Bits of You. You will all receive an email with a PDF version of the book, plus a Smashwords coupon for a free ecopy in a version of your choice.
I hope you enjoy my book and will consider reviewing it on one of the site when you are done.
And I know you are all anxiously awaiting the announcement of who will get the 10 FREE signed copies promised when I reached 500.
Here is the list. For those of you who have NOT provided an email, please email me you physical address and email ASAP! Kimberly dot Kinrade at gmail.com If I do not receive your email within 24 hours, I will pick a new winner. For those of you who did provide your email, I still need your physical address to get you your book!
ok…
In no particular order…
Diana Phillips – no email – referred by Bookaholics Book Club.
Michelle Grayce – no email – referred by Booksaholics Book Club
Food Photo Hussy – no email – referred by I Love Books
Paula Sofia – email! - referred by Imabookshark
Erin Seiersen – email! – referred by Paranormal Reads
Jamie Boswell - email! - referred by Paranormal Reads
Mindy Janicke – email! – Paranormal Reads
Sassy Book Lovers - email!- TrAsh Pan Bags & Crafts
Jessica Galczynski – email! – referred by I Love Books
Sabrina Ford – email!- no referral
Congratulations!!! I wish I could give out signed copies to EVERYONE!
For those who still want a paperback version, you can order it on AMAZON for $8.99 or…for a limited time you can order a book directly from me and I will sign and personalize it. It's $8.99 plus $6 S&H for US residents and $12 for Intl shipping. You can pay via Paypal at my donate button with the coffee cup to the right >>
Thank you again for all of your LIKES and support. And a special thanks to Paranormal Reads for referring SO MANY! You will get 2 signed copies of my book as an extra thanks!
Thank you all again for participating. If you would like to leave a review after you read my book, you can find it on Amazon, Goodreads & Smashwords.
I hope you will also join me on Twitter & my Lifarre blog so we can get to know each other better. I also write a love blog with my fiancé at Writing In Love if you are a die hard romantic. I know, I'm a busy girl 
Stay tuned for more books to come.
I will be publishing a YA Paranormal Novella called "RENT-A-KID" this summer, and an[image error] upper YA Fantasy "Death by Destiny" and younger YA fantasy "The Reluctant Familiar" late summer or early fall. Death by Destiny is the first of a trilogy and The Reluctant Familiar is the first of a series. I hope you enjoy them all!
See you in the cyberworld!
A special thanks to my awesome assistants! Rebecca Bond & Teresa Burns for helping me process the overwhelming response to this GiveAway!
June 27, 2011
Rent-A-Kid a YA Paranormal Novella ~ Sneak Peek
I can read minds.
I know, I know. This is sooo boring. I mean, everyone can read minds these days. That vampire Edward. That weird chick Sookie who hangs with vampires. A bunch of people on X-Men.
But, what can I say? It's my "gift." We don't really get to pick and choose.
Like my friend Luke, he can disappear AND walk through walls! How cool is that? And Jessica can fly! Reading minds seems pretty lame compared to all that.
But it's useful to some people. Which is how I got here. At the Rent-A-Kid dorms in the middle of nowhere. Honestly I don't even know what country we are in. We have a whole village right on this property and we are drugged unconscious whenever we are transported to our new "assignment," so we could be anywhere in the world.
We are taught so many languages, I've forgotten more than you've probably even heard of. And we are always watched. Even on assignment. We are never left alone. Ever.
I've been here since I can remember. I'm not even sure how I got here, but it's all I've ever known. Which is why I'm writing this.
My name is Sam. Samantha, actually. I don't have a last name. I get those on assignment and it always changes. Of course, the organization that owns me isn't actually called Rent-A-Kid, that's just what we call it. They have their own secret name that they use in their top secret meetings. They probably even have a secret website, but I wouldn't know what that is.
I realize this is starting to sound like a James Patterson novel, or an episode of X-Men. But it's not. It's real life, and I'm probably going to die trying to escape.
This isn't some happy hideaway run by a kind old balding man who takes us under his wings and helps us out. No. There is no kindness here. Only fear and pain. And once a kid turns 18, they disappear.
We are told that they get to go home. To their real home. That fairytale place we make up stories about when the young ones cry themselves to sleep. But no one believes them. At least not those of us who have been here awhile. How could they just let us go after enslaving us for our whole lives?
They say our parents gave us up willingly. Yeah right. I'm sure some parents would give up their freakish kids for enough money. But THIS many? Not likely.
No, they kidnapped us. Harvested us for their business ventures. We are slaves. And I'm 2 months shy of my 18th birthday.
So you see why I have to get out of here. And you see why I'm likely going to fail.
If you find this, get it to someone who cares. The best I can hope for is that someone reads this who can do something about it. Who can save the others. Then at least my death will have a purpose.
My name is Sam. And this is my story.
Unwritten
[image error]I am writing today, and nearly everyday. Creating worlds. Telling stories. Sometimes my mind is so busy creating, that my body forgets to move.
So today, I danced.
And even as I danced, I'm inspired by a song that is about writing our own story in life!
"I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned"
Obviously Natasha Bedingfield is a panster rather than a plotter! Lol
But seriously, this song is so inspiring to me. As Dmytry and I danced around the house with our kids, I couldn't help reflect on what this song means to me.
As a writer.
As a human.
As a woman creating and shaping her own life.
"Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find"
So often we get stuck. Blocked. Unable to move forward in our story or our life. Not knowing what it is we are looking for.
"Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it"
We stay trapped in our own fears, not willing to let ourselves be fully seen by those around us. Scared that our story is not worth telling.
"Release your inhibitions[image error]
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"
But we are all unique. We each have our own voice and our own perspective. Our own life experience. There are themes, archtypes, ways of telling story that might be similar. But in the end, the way I tell my story and the way YOU tell your story will never be the same, because we aren't the same.
And yet we are united by these common themes, bringing to them our unique voices, making them relatable and new to those whose hearts resonate with ours. How exciting!
"I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way"
In the process we make mistakes. Color outside the line. Break molds and invent new ways of doing something! Nothing ever was gained by the fear of making a mistake. It's only through mistakes that we grow and learn and create!
Truly creation can only happen when we open our arms and let ourselves feel the rain on our skin, allow ourselves to speak the words only we can speak. Embrace the blank page and unknown ending and keep writing!
Whether a story, novel or the very script of our lives, we have to dance in the rain, make our mistakes, and play in our world in order to find the joy that has been there all along!
What we are looking for isn't OUT THERE! It's right in us. We just have to let it out!
Enjoy this video today and think of ways you can live your life with arms wide open!
What's one thing you will do this week that might scare you? Me? I'm going to dance everyday and let my body play as much as my mind!
June 22, 2011
Time
a guest post by Neil B. Smith
When Time was young there was a king,
who ruled the world and everything
When Time matured a little more,
It passed by faster than before
This enraged the king to know,
For he had ordered Time to slow
Not only was his wish denied,
The opposite had been applied
The king had not before been made
To see an order disobeyed
But the king had failed to see
One clear cut reality -
Time does not report to kings
Nor any man, nor anything
The king would have to learn his place,
So that's when Time sped up its pace
The lesson only made the king
Dangerous to all living things
The king made into law that day
An order that all must obey
Time was now to be ignored,
No reference to It anymore
And so the king slept well that night,
convinced that he had won the fight
But Time's not easy to ignore,
Especially when you make It sore
The king awoke on that next day,
To find his kingdom gone away
Then the news had reached his ears
That Time had jumped a thousand years
Time stripped the king of all he knew,
And gave him a new job to do
The king was made to build a place
Where Time could always show Its face
He created with a magic rock
A strange device he called a clock
And all that looked upon its face,
Would then see Time and know Its pace
The king's job was so superb,
That Time gave to the king Its word
Time would pass at constant rate,
Never to accelerate
But I think we've all seen days,
When Time has simply slipped away
Other days you truly feel
That Time is simply standing still
So if Time ever feels the need
To do some tweaking to Its speed
I think that's okay, don't you?
It's fun to see what Time will do
So heed this warning from the king
Ignoring Time's a dangerous thing!
~~
[image error]The wickedly talented Neil B. Smith is my brother and the man who inspired me to start a blog and bring my writing to the world. Follow him on twitter @NeilBSmith and tell him to start his own blog so we can enjoy more of his writing! He's also an incredible artist. Ask him about it!
[image error]
Neil & Kimberly Related by blood & law (when your brother marries your sister, it makes the family tree a tangled bush indeed!)
June 20, 2011
Just Call Me Queen Kimberly
[image error]Don't worry, you get to be royalty too! Actually, if you are reading this, you already are.
Now, before you spend hours researching your family lineage to prove me right or wrong, let me explain.
This morning we lost all electric and water to our house for maintenance. Only we didn't know we were going to lose it for 4 hours, so we weren't prepared.
Here's how the morning looked.
No water for morning routine of brushing teeth, taking vitamins, washing face, giving water to dogs.
No power for keeping our food fresh, microwaving or blending various breakfast items.
And *gasp* no internet, or even power to turn on our computers!
We were literally in the dark, with nothing to do.
All my work is online.
Nearly all my social connections are online. *this is not as pathetic as it sounds…*
Even my music and entertainment require my computer and internet.
Without these things I was stuck in a house that I couldn't clean (without power and water), in a body I couldn't wash, with work to do that I couldn't access.
Now what does this have to do with royalty, you ask?
Everything.
Let's imagine the days of old, shall we? When only royalty had access to baths, nice clothes and most importantly, information.
And consider how much more we have than even those queens and kings.
We have the entire world at our fingertips.
With the click of a button I can access almost anything I want. (Barring top secret military information and anything requiring HTML knowledge.)
But still, I have everything I need right here. And when my life is running normally, I can also bathe regularly, brush my teeth, heat up a meal in seconds and wash several loads of laundry in a few hours with minimal effort.
Not even the Emperor of Rome could claim such feats.
So all in all I feel pretty damn lucky to be living in a time and place that grants me so much wealth.
My bank account may be a little sparse from time to time, but I am the wealthiest person alive, and so are you![image error]
Now rise, my dear subjects and claim your own royal heritage by appreciating daily the vast splendor in which we live.
*On a side note, I look damn good in a crown!*
June 13, 2011
On Publishing, Marketing & More
[image error]Saturday morning I had the awesome opportunity to be a guest on John Rakestraw Talks where we discussed short stories, publishing, marketing & social media.
My life changed in more ways than I can count when I embraced social media and found my voice on Twitter.
A year ago I had an emo blog no one read, no Twitter account (I didn't even know what Twitter was!) and a Facebook that was only for family.
Now I have a website I'm proud of, with a strong following on Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads and my blog.
I have a new book out, Bits of You & Pieces of Me, and two more books coming out this fall, Death by Destiny & The Reluctant Familiar.
Social media is more than just about self-promotion. It's about making real connections to real people. Finding those like minded souls who find the value in your work and embracing it!
It's not a necessary evil, but a blessing. But more on that in another post. For now, enjoy the interview. (Oh, I come in about 10 minutes or so into it as I couldn't get reception out in the country!)
Listen to internet radio with John Rakestraw Talks on Blog Talk Radio
June 6, 2011
Publishing in the New Economy
[image error]I have heard every possible variation on how best to publish in this new economy. And I'm more confused than ever! I've written a few posts on my publishing dilemma.
Self-Publishing is SOOOThis Year…
To name a few.
And I'm still confused as hell!
PUBLISHING CHOICES
Pros and Cons from one who (admittedly) doesn't know much!
The traditional route
Does it work for mid-level authors anymore? Sure, you get the prestige of being backed by a big house. Maybe you get an advance. But a big advance? #notlikely This article on self-publishing argues that the days of authors making tons of money going the traditional route is over.
PROS: You get to pat yourself on the back for publishing with the big boys and you get the prestige of that recognition. You also, presumably, get their name and resources for marketing.
CONS: You aren't likely going to get a big advance, or even a lot of backing and marketing once you do publish. Your book won't come out for a year or two AFTER you get picked up. You'll have very little control over the marketing and publication of your own book and they will take most of your money.
Small Press
So what about a small press? Do they offer any better options for the ambitious author?
PROS: You get to put a publishing house on your book, giving you slightly more credibility then self-publishing, but less credibility then going traditional. You get more one-on-one attention and some help with marketing. Plus, they cover the publishing costs.
CONS: Some say small presses are dying. That they don't have the juice to properly back a book and end up taking money from your pocket while you still have to put in all the work to market and promote yourself.
Self-Publishing
Many are choosing to self-publish. Even traditional authors are turning down book deals to do it themselves. With Print on Demand (POD) options so easy and inexpensive, this is a great choice for many.
PROS: You get to stay in control of your own book. Marketing, editing, cover. It's all you. You also get to keep a MUCH higher portion of your sales, and you can determine your own publishing launch dates. You want to put out 12 books this year? Go for it!
There's a rise of support for self-published authors as well. I'm a part of the team at the Indie Book Collective where we offer tools and tips to help indie authors make their name out in the world. It's a fun time to be indie!
CONS: You get to stay in control of your own book. Marketing, editing, cover. It's all you. This is a double edged sword. Self-publishing still has something of a stigma, though that's shifting. There are some who don't think self-published books are very professional. #Andsomearent But we've all seen this with books of all publishing option. The key to success as an indie is to go pro in all you do.
Bottom Line: I don't have any answers. I've got two books, Death by Destiny and The Reluctant Familiar, that will be ready to publish by the end of summer and I don't know what option I will choose. Every day I change my mind.
I self-published Bits of You & Pieces of Me knowing it would be a hard sell no matter what route I went. A collection of short stories, poetry and essays that tell the story of a girl in love with love who discovers the demons of a splintered heart when that love turns violent. Not exactly my normal YA fantasy fun! But it was a great experiment and taught me a lot.
Now I'm about to enter the big leagues with books that I am truly excited about. I've been building my platform, promoting, marketing, making friends. I Tweet and Facebook and Goodread…I'm doing all I can to make my splash when my books come out.
But I'm still scared I will make the wrong choice.
We can really never know how our books will do until we just do it! Nike was onto something with that killer slogan.
So my advice? (And since this is my blog, I get to give it!) Just Do It! Go for it. Build yourself up, polish your books to a shine and get them out there. We will all make mistakes on this road, and we will keep learning from ourselves and each other!
What's your take on publishing in the new economy? Inquiring minds want to know!
May 9, 2011
Leaving Narnia
[image error]The Chronicles of Narnia were always my favorite books growing up. (They still are, actually!) But they always made me so sad.
Namely because at the end, the characters I'd invested my emotions into always had to leave Narnia.
I understand now that it's part of the hero's journey. It's the last step one must take, going back to your old world wiser and more skillful. Changed.
But how?
How do you go from being a grown King or Queen in Narnia, with talking beasts and tree nymphs and magic, back to war-ridden England? And now a kid again to boot! How do you find any cohesiveness in yourself after that kind of reality shift?
Even just being a kid reading the books, I dived so deeply into the world that the ending always shook me. I didn't want to go back. To my world. To my reality. I wanted to stay in Narnia and be Queen and rule in peace and prosperity. I wanted to chase white stags and roam the countryside talking to the trees. I wanted a world different than the one in which I lived.
I largely still do. And herein resides the major reason most of us are unhappy. We are all secretly pining away for our own version of Narnia.
It's "the grass is always greener" syndrome. That somehow that magical world will bring me more happiness than my boring ordinary one with dishes and laundry and noisy kids and chore after chore after chore.
If I lived in Narnia, all would be better.
But it's not really true, is it? Narnia would have its own share of problems. (Like the fact that they subsisted on a largely British diet. No offense to my British friends, but I can think of better cuisines to emulate!)
The point is to be happy now. In the Narnia you have, not the Narnia you dream about. Narnia is the magic filled wonder of those simple moments in life that hold the all the happiness we could ever imagine. If we allow ourselves to experience it.
So I'm tasking myself to see the Narnia in those simple moments. To live in my own Narnia, and find the magic that already exists in my life.
Though I do hope to write books that make people wish they could stay in them forever! I also hope you will find magic in those times you aren't reading. Those times you are doing dishes with your lover or holding your child and talking. My books are full of magic, but none that is as real as the magic you have right now in your kitchen!
Onward and upward!
