C.L. Ragsdale's Blog, page 3
March 2, 2013
Chasing Lady Midnight - Chapter 6
Chapter 6 - Magenta The Mentalist
Fortunately for us she’s retired and she’s married to Ted, a fact that did not go over well with her former teammates. When they found out. After the wedding.
Yeah that was on purpose.
You see she figured since they made her retire she didn’t have to answer to them anymore. The Squad, as they usually do, disagreed. However, seeing as they are not exactly sure what secrets Magenta knows (and she’s not about to tell them) it convinced them to back off.
Needless to say Magenta doesn’t get invited to the reunions.
Magenta, or as she prefers these days Kari, is the only other person who knows what’s going on with me right now. Truth to tell, I was leery about that, seeing as she was one of the original members of The Squad so she might feel it was her duty to fink on me. However as Ted pointed out he couldn’t keep a secret from his wife, besides the fact that you really can’t keep a secret from Kari because she’s a mind reader.
Don’t tell her I said that, she hates the term. According to Kari you can’t really read people’s minds anyway, at least not as easily as they make it out in comic books and TV shows. There’s just too much stuff going on up there at the same time. It’s confusing. You know how people tell you to focus? Turns out there’s a reason for that. Then you have to block out the noise from anyone else’s mind that’s around. Needless to say it takes a lot of practice. From what I’ve heard tell The Squad’s most current telepath, Gamma Wave is nowhere near as good as his predecessor because he hates to practice.
So why did Kari take the alias Magenta? Well it wasn’t because she has purple hair. Her hair is white, it’s always been white, it was her superhero outfit was that was the pinky purple color. Apparently that was a trend in superhero names at the time.
You’ve got watch out for fads in everything.
“Why so serious my little cherry?”
Ted has always called her his little cherry, only he says it in Russian which I am not even going to try to pronounce. It drove Kari crazy for a long time because he started back in the day when they were on opposite sides. So what’s so bad about being called a cherry? From what I’ve been able to figure the way he used it referred to a sour cherry, something about her personality …it’s one of those Russian things. Anyway once Ted served his term and they got together he couldn’t get out of the habit and Kari got used to it.
Ah love it’s… strange.
Kari gave him a stern look and admonished, “Aside from almost getting our girl put into lockup you mean?”
“You agreed to test run,” her husband reminded her.
“I know, I’m not blaming you. I was just worried when Protostar showed up. The last thing I want is to start a family fued.”
“That may be inevitable,” he warned.
Man, I hope not, I kind of like my family.
Fortunately Kari doesn’t pursue the subject and says to me, “By the way kiddo, not bad for your first time out.”
That’s tall praise indeed, when you consider Kari’s a perfectionist when it comes to her mission plans, and this one hardly went according to plan. Also I’m a twenty-oner.
What’s that?
Historical Fact Check Break
The way of super powers is always, or should I say almost always, been for the super being in question to start to develop their powers from young childhood and evolve as they grow up. This gives ample time for the fledgling superhero, or villain as the case may, to be trained in controlling their powers so they can be the best super that they can be.
However, every once in a blue moon (so rare that everyone is sure that it is only an old super wives’ tale) the super powers remain dormant until the super being reaches twenty-one. Then they hit all at once. Full strength.
So why does no one believe that twenty-oners actually happen in the superworld? Well, even before The Squad, there was another set of control freaks, the super scientists, who decided to get into the genetic control business by picking who all the supers were going to marry and with whom they were going to …oh there’s no other way to say it…breed.
Ick.
So if the super scientists say it isn't possible who can disagree with them?
I guess they forgot that the only one who is truly in control is God, and He has a wonderful sense of humor. Me being a case in point.
End of Historical Fact Check Break
You know, I wanted a new laptop for my twenty-first birthday, what I got made my whole life go wacky.
Because these powers of mine are just ON and I don’t know what all I can do because they decide to reveal themselves when they feel like it. For instance, I knew I could manipulate shadows and that I could travel through them. I practiced and was pretty good at it as evidenced today. What I didn’t know is I that I have shields. Good thing to have on defense. I wished I had known about it..
Also there was something else weird going on, but I’m almost afraid to find out that it wasn’t an adrenaline induced delusion like I hope.
For the moment however I answer Kari, ““I’m just happy to still be in one piece, I’d forgotten how much my sister’s Star Blasts hurt.”
“She used to blast you?” Kari asked in an appalled tone.
“Not on purpose,” I assured her, “She just didn’t have best aim, especially at the beginning. She hit herself more than she did me, especially once I learned to dodge.”
“Well I am glad to hear that. We’ll do a debriefing in a minute. I want to go over what you did today. There were some surprises.”
Why do I get the distinct impression that she’s not just talking about the shields?
“Was good. Protostar and friends never knew what hit them,” Ted insisted.
“The Platoon was expected once an UNA was identified. What I want to know is what Tracker was doing there. That is overdoing it.”
“My guess is that the plan for him to take the credit if things went according to plan or place the blame on The Platoon if the thing went south, which it did,” I suggested.
“Sounds reasonable. The Squad’s been taking some public relations hits lately. They might have thought bringing you in would help. Face it honey you look scary with the black hair, green eyes and black outfit. Beautiful, but scary,” Kari said.
“I thought the fedora was supposed to help lighten things up?” I complained taking off the black hat, mask, and leather gloves.
Kari smiled and said, “No I just thought it looked cool.”
“Hair and eyes are going back to normal,” Ted noted.
Normal? What is normal for me these days? Still I look over at the mirror and note that the black hair is lightening to the dark blond I am used to and my eyes are changing from emerald green to blue.
I told you my life was wacky.
“So it sounds like I’m going to end up being public super villain number one if The Squad has anything to say about it.”
“There are already starting,” Kari agreed, “It seems our hostage is a well-known blogger for a site that’s been critical of superheroes in general and The Squad particularly. There are already rumors of a hoax being thrown around.”
“A hoax? What are they going to do with the bank robbers? Let them go?” I asked with concern. They may not have super powers but you didn’t need those to be dangerous.
“I hope not,” Ted answered, “But when it comes to Squad protecting reputations these days all lots are switched.”
I think he means all bets are off.
Kari gives a sigh. This has got to be tough on her. That group has a lot of her friends in it, or at least they were her friends. Also she knows that The Squad was never meant to be what it has become. But it was inevitable as they made their first mistake at the beginning when they wouldn’t let God into the briefing room.
There’s a way that seems right to man….
“It’s too bad we can’t bring your parents in on this,” she finally said, “Quazar and Lightening Lass are amongst the best thinkers in The Squad.”
Like I hadn’t wished that a hundred times? But….it’s complicated. Like everything else in my life right now.
“Kari you know why we can’t tell them about any of this,” I reminded her, “Remember, all is not well in superhero land."
Fortunately for us she’s retired and she’s married to Ted, a fact that did not go over well with her former teammates. When they found out. After the wedding.
Yeah that was on purpose.
You see she figured since they made her retire she didn’t have to answer to them anymore. The Squad, as they usually do, disagreed. However, seeing as they are not exactly sure what secrets Magenta knows (and she’s not about to tell them) it convinced them to back off.
Needless to say Magenta doesn’t get invited to the reunions.
Magenta, or as she prefers these days Kari, is the only other person who knows what’s going on with me right now. Truth to tell, I was leery about that, seeing as she was one of the original members of The Squad so she might feel it was her duty to fink on me. However as Ted pointed out he couldn’t keep a secret from his wife, besides the fact that you really can’t keep a secret from Kari because she’s a mind reader.
Don’t tell her I said that, she hates the term. According to Kari you can’t really read people’s minds anyway, at least not as easily as they make it out in comic books and TV shows. There’s just too much stuff going on up there at the same time. It’s confusing. You know how people tell you to focus? Turns out there’s a reason for that. Then you have to block out the noise from anyone else’s mind that’s around. Needless to say it takes a lot of practice. From what I’ve heard tell The Squad’s most current telepath, Gamma Wave is nowhere near as good as his predecessor because he hates to practice.
So why did Kari take the alias Magenta? Well it wasn’t because she has purple hair. Her hair is white, it’s always been white, it was her superhero outfit was that was the pinky purple color. Apparently that was a trend in superhero names at the time.
You’ve got watch out for fads in everything.
“Why so serious my little cherry?”
Ted has always called her his little cherry, only he says it in Russian which I am not even going to try to pronounce. It drove Kari crazy for a long time because he started back in the day when they were on opposite sides. So what’s so bad about being called a cherry? From what I’ve been able to figure the way he used it referred to a sour cherry, something about her personality …it’s one of those Russian things. Anyway once Ted served his term and they got together he couldn’t get out of the habit and Kari got used to it.
Ah love it’s… strange.
Kari gave him a stern look and admonished, “Aside from almost getting our girl put into lockup you mean?”
“You agreed to test run,” her husband reminded her.
“I know, I’m not blaming you. I was just worried when Protostar showed up. The last thing I want is to start a family fued.”
“That may be inevitable,” he warned.
Man, I hope not, I kind of like my family.
Fortunately Kari doesn’t pursue the subject and says to me, “By the way kiddo, not bad for your first time out.”
That’s tall praise indeed, when you consider Kari’s a perfectionist when it comes to her mission plans, and this one hardly went according to plan. Also I’m a twenty-oner.
What’s that?
Historical Fact Check Break
The way of super powers is always, or should I say almost always, been for the super being in question to start to develop their powers from young childhood and evolve as they grow up. This gives ample time for the fledgling superhero, or villain as the case may, to be trained in controlling their powers so they can be the best super that they can be.
However, every once in a blue moon (so rare that everyone is sure that it is only an old super wives’ tale) the super powers remain dormant until the super being reaches twenty-one. Then they hit all at once. Full strength.
So why does no one believe that twenty-oners actually happen in the superworld? Well, even before The Squad, there was another set of control freaks, the super scientists, who decided to get into the genetic control business by picking who all the supers were going to marry and with whom they were going to …oh there’s no other way to say it…breed.
Ick.
So if the super scientists say it isn't possible who can disagree with them?
I guess they forgot that the only one who is truly in control is God, and He has a wonderful sense of humor. Me being a case in point.
End of Historical Fact Check Break
You know, I wanted a new laptop for my twenty-first birthday, what I got made my whole life go wacky.
Because these powers of mine are just ON and I don’t know what all I can do because they decide to reveal themselves when they feel like it. For instance, I knew I could manipulate shadows and that I could travel through them. I practiced and was pretty good at it as evidenced today. What I didn’t know is I that I have shields. Good thing to have on defense. I wished I had known about it..
Also there was something else weird going on, but I’m almost afraid to find out that it wasn’t an adrenaline induced delusion like I hope.
For the moment however I answer Kari, ““I’m just happy to still be in one piece, I’d forgotten how much my sister’s Star Blasts hurt.”
“She used to blast you?” Kari asked in an appalled tone.
“Not on purpose,” I assured her, “She just didn’t have best aim, especially at the beginning. She hit herself more than she did me, especially once I learned to dodge.”
“Well I am glad to hear that. We’ll do a debriefing in a minute. I want to go over what you did today. There were some surprises.”
Why do I get the distinct impression that she’s not just talking about the shields?
“Was good. Protostar and friends never knew what hit them,” Ted insisted.
“The Platoon was expected once an UNA was identified. What I want to know is what Tracker was doing there. That is overdoing it.”
“My guess is that the plan for him to take the credit if things went according to plan or place the blame on The Platoon if the thing went south, which it did,” I suggested.
“Sounds reasonable. The Squad’s been taking some public relations hits lately. They might have thought bringing you in would help. Face it honey you look scary with the black hair, green eyes and black outfit. Beautiful, but scary,” Kari said.
“I thought the fedora was supposed to help lighten things up?” I complained taking off the black hat, mask, and leather gloves.
Kari smiled and said, “No I just thought it looked cool.”
“Hair and eyes are going back to normal,” Ted noted.
Normal? What is normal for me these days? Still I look over at the mirror and note that the black hair is lightening to the dark blond I am used to and my eyes are changing from emerald green to blue.
I told you my life was wacky.
“So it sounds like I’m going to end up being public super villain number one if The Squad has anything to say about it.”
“There are already starting,” Kari agreed, “It seems our hostage is a well-known blogger for a site that’s been critical of superheroes in general and The Squad particularly. There are already rumors of a hoax being thrown around.”
“A hoax? What are they going to do with the bank robbers? Let them go?” I asked with concern. They may not have super powers but you didn’t need those to be dangerous.
“I hope not,” Ted answered, “But when it comes to Squad protecting reputations these days all lots are switched.”
I think he means all bets are off.
Kari gives a sigh. This has got to be tough on her. That group has a lot of her friends in it, or at least they were her friends. Also she knows that The Squad was never meant to be what it has become. But it was inevitable as they made their first mistake at the beginning when they wouldn’t let God into the briefing room.
There’s a way that seems right to man….
“It’s too bad we can’t bring your parents in on this,” she finally said, “Quazar and Lightening Lass are amongst the best thinkers in The Squad.”
Like I hadn’t wished that a hundred times? But….it’s complicated. Like everything else in my life right now.
“Kari you know why we can’t tell them about any of this,” I reminded her, “Remember, all is not well in superhero land."
February 21, 2013
Chasing Lady Midnight - Chapter 5
Chapter 5 – My fearless leader
A few seconds later, yes it only takes that long, I walked out of the shadows into the secret lair (aka the workshop at the back of his house) of Fyodor Makariy Oleg Shereshevski, formerly known as The Russian Accelerator. As his real name is a bit of mouthful his friends call him Ted, fortunately I’m one of his friends.
Did I mention he’s reformed? Well he has, and it’s a good thing for me. You see Ted is my mentor and teaching me in the way of all things super powered. It might seem odd taking lessons from a former super baddie, but my options were limited. Besides we go to the same church.
Ted used to be the fastest man on the planet, and one of the cleverest super villains around. But he never wanted to take over the world. When I asked him why he explained that the profit margin stunk. Besides taking over the world is one thing, running it is another matter entirely and involved way too many headaches.
Anyway, like all the villains do sooner or later do, he pushed it too far. The corporation who was taking the loses for his clever thievery got sick of it, and requested The Squad to convince him to decease. It was a win-win, as the Squad loves to do favors. For a price.
Well after that it was only a matter of time. Ted got caught and got locked up in the super security facility where The Squad keeps their captured super villains. Most spend their time getting bitter and plotting dire revenge, but Ted decided on different route. Instead of becoming bitter, he returned to the faith of his youth and become a model prisoner. Eventually he was paroled after promising to behave himself. Yes there is overcrowding even in super villain jail. He’s still pretty speedy for a man pushing sixty, but he can’t keep up with the new speedsters, The Roller Derbies.
Oh the hits just keep on coming.
“So I see we had some issues on our training run,” he said amicably not looking away from his computer screen.
“We?” I ask him, “I don’t remember any “we” out there fending off four superheroes at once.”
“We all have our place in God’s plan my dear,” Ted responded calmly, “Besides, been there done that. I’m concluded it.”
Sometimes it’s kind of hard to get what Ted means when he tries to use American expressions with that thick Russian accent of his. Most of time I get what he means. Most of time.
“You mean you’re over it?” I asked.
“Right, concluded. So did you wish to see what you did today? It was a Special Report and you are the hottest thing on internet.”.
“I knew those cameras were somewhere. So how bad did I come off? Did I make the 10 most wanted list?”.
“Actually, not so much. Captain Cornflake…”
“Cornflake?” I interrupted, “You mean Captain Courageous? You’d better let him hear you call him that or he'll throw you back in the slammer. The man has an ego bigger than his muscles and takes himself way too seriously. Where did you get Cornflake from anyway?”
“Has gotten stuck in brain will show in a minute. He tried to make suggestion that you were in league with bank robbers. Squad even tried to obtain not only bank images, but all outside cameras footage as well for their investigation.”
“Investigation? You mean smear campaign.”
He nodded and agreed, “Exactly. Fast as they were they were too late to stop footage from getting on web. Once that happened, not even Squad can stop it.”.
“Now I wonder how that happened?” I mused, “They are usually so good a spin control.”
“Lots of people with cameras these days, and many groups, both good and bad, always trying to make Squad look bad,” he pointed out as he looked for the computer link he wanted..
“The opposition must be getting better. That could be good or bad.”
“Depends on how paranoid Squad gets.”
That thought worried me. They were already control freaks, but paranoid control freaks that had super powers? That could be really bad.
“You wanted to know where I got Captain Cornflake from? Watch,” Ted said as he played a video.
“So you think this new super being was in with the robbers?” the reporter asked congenially.
“Well Scott,” the Captain said his dark brown hair, costume and cape all in perfect order, “We still need to gather evidence but it does look…”.
“Don’t any you listen to the talkin’ head here,” the victim said coming into camera, “That girl risked her life and limb for me and I am not going to forget it.”
“The Captain was speaking,” the reporter admonished her, obviously appalled at the idea that anyone would dare to interrupt the Number 1 Superhero of the World. At least that was what his agent kept assuring everyone.
“That’s quite all right Scott,” the Captain assured him benevolently, “The victim has had a shock and most likely cannot remember the full details…”.
“The victim” looked anything but shocked, she looked outraged. Don’t, I thought, don’t do it, let it go. I won’t mind..
You know, I think even if she heard me, she wouldn’t have listened to me.
“Now look here Captain Cornflake…”
“See how brave she is?” Ted smiled as he sat back and crossed him arms.
“I don’t know that I’d call it brave,” I disagreed. Making fun of a super guy with no sense of humor? One step closer to oblivion is what I would call it.
Fortunately the Captain held on to his temper, as he corrected through gritted teeth, “Courageous.”
“Whatever. I suppose I imagined your partner Private Pervis…”
“Sargent Strong.”
“WHATEVER!”
“We take our names very seriously….”
“And I take the fact that I came that close,” she illustrated her point by pinching her thumb and forefinger together, “To meeting my maker today, and you and your bully boy over there are trying to make me say that poor girl attacked me…”
“Are you saying The Squad suggested you lie?” the reporter asked eagerly actually sounding like a reporter.
“Of course not,” the Captain denied with righteous indignation, “I’m sure there was a misunderstanding. We would never…”
“Oh so why are you two shooting around terms like shocked and can’t remember details? I remember just fine and I know a frame job when I see it…”.
Ted paused the play and looked at me.
“Who is that?” I asked.
“That,” another voice announced, “Is a lady who just got into a lot trouble. Along with both of you.”
Ted and I looked up and saw Magenta the Mentalist, one of the founding members of The Superhero Security Squad standing in the doorway.
A few seconds later, yes it only takes that long, I walked out of the shadows into the secret lair (aka the workshop at the back of his house) of Fyodor Makariy Oleg Shereshevski, formerly known as The Russian Accelerator. As his real name is a bit of mouthful his friends call him Ted, fortunately I’m one of his friends.
Did I mention he’s reformed? Well he has, and it’s a good thing for me. You see Ted is my mentor and teaching me in the way of all things super powered. It might seem odd taking lessons from a former super baddie, but my options were limited. Besides we go to the same church.
Ted used to be the fastest man on the planet, and one of the cleverest super villains around. But he never wanted to take over the world. When I asked him why he explained that the profit margin stunk. Besides taking over the world is one thing, running it is another matter entirely and involved way too many headaches.
Anyway, like all the villains do sooner or later do, he pushed it too far. The corporation who was taking the loses for his clever thievery got sick of it, and requested The Squad to convince him to decease. It was a win-win, as the Squad loves to do favors. For a price.
Well after that it was only a matter of time. Ted got caught and got locked up in the super security facility where The Squad keeps their captured super villains. Most spend their time getting bitter and plotting dire revenge, but Ted decided on different route. Instead of becoming bitter, he returned to the faith of his youth and become a model prisoner. Eventually he was paroled after promising to behave himself. Yes there is overcrowding even in super villain jail. He’s still pretty speedy for a man pushing sixty, but he can’t keep up with the new speedsters, The Roller Derbies.
Oh the hits just keep on coming.
“So I see we had some issues on our training run,” he said amicably not looking away from his computer screen.
“We?” I ask him, “I don’t remember any “we” out there fending off four superheroes at once.”
“We all have our place in God’s plan my dear,” Ted responded calmly, “Besides, been there done that. I’m concluded it.”
Sometimes it’s kind of hard to get what Ted means when he tries to use American expressions with that thick Russian accent of his. Most of time I get what he means. Most of time.
“You mean you’re over it?” I asked.
“Right, concluded. So did you wish to see what you did today? It was a Special Report and you are the hottest thing on internet.”.
“I knew those cameras were somewhere. So how bad did I come off? Did I make the 10 most wanted list?”.
“Actually, not so much. Captain Cornflake…”
“Cornflake?” I interrupted, “You mean Captain Courageous? You’d better let him hear you call him that or he'll throw you back in the slammer. The man has an ego bigger than his muscles and takes himself way too seriously. Where did you get Cornflake from anyway?”
“Has gotten stuck in brain will show in a minute. He tried to make suggestion that you were in league with bank robbers. Squad even tried to obtain not only bank images, but all outside cameras footage as well for their investigation.”
“Investigation? You mean smear campaign.”
He nodded and agreed, “Exactly. Fast as they were they were too late to stop footage from getting on web. Once that happened, not even Squad can stop it.”.
“Now I wonder how that happened?” I mused, “They are usually so good a spin control.”
“Lots of people with cameras these days, and many groups, both good and bad, always trying to make Squad look bad,” he pointed out as he looked for the computer link he wanted..
“The opposition must be getting better. That could be good or bad.”
“Depends on how paranoid Squad gets.”
That thought worried me. They were already control freaks, but paranoid control freaks that had super powers? That could be really bad.
“You wanted to know where I got Captain Cornflake from? Watch,” Ted said as he played a video.
“So you think this new super being was in with the robbers?” the reporter asked congenially.
“Well Scott,” the Captain said his dark brown hair, costume and cape all in perfect order, “We still need to gather evidence but it does look…”.
“Don’t any you listen to the talkin’ head here,” the victim said coming into camera, “That girl risked her life and limb for me and I am not going to forget it.”
“The Captain was speaking,” the reporter admonished her, obviously appalled at the idea that anyone would dare to interrupt the Number 1 Superhero of the World. At least that was what his agent kept assuring everyone.
“That’s quite all right Scott,” the Captain assured him benevolently, “The victim has had a shock and most likely cannot remember the full details…”.
“The victim” looked anything but shocked, she looked outraged. Don’t, I thought, don’t do it, let it go. I won’t mind..
You know, I think even if she heard me, she wouldn’t have listened to me.
“Now look here Captain Cornflake…”
“See how brave she is?” Ted smiled as he sat back and crossed him arms.
“I don’t know that I’d call it brave,” I disagreed. Making fun of a super guy with no sense of humor? One step closer to oblivion is what I would call it.
Fortunately the Captain held on to his temper, as he corrected through gritted teeth, “Courageous.”
“Whatever. I suppose I imagined your partner Private Pervis…”
“Sargent Strong.”
“WHATEVER!”
“We take our names very seriously….”
“And I take the fact that I came that close,” she illustrated her point by pinching her thumb and forefinger together, “To meeting my maker today, and you and your bully boy over there are trying to make me say that poor girl attacked me…”
“Are you saying The Squad suggested you lie?” the reporter asked eagerly actually sounding like a reporter.
“Of course not,” the Captain denied with righteous indignation, “I’m sure there was a misunderstanding. We would never…”
“Oh so why are you two shooting around terms like shocked and can’t remember details? I remember just fine and I know a frame job when I see it…”.
Ted paused the play and looked at me.
“Who is that?” I asked.
“That,” another voice announced, “Is a lady who just got into a lot trouble. Along with both of you.”
Ted and I looked up and saw Magenta the Mentalist, one of the founding members of The Superhero Security Squad standing in the doorway.
February 14, 2013
Review - Good, Clean, Murder by Traci Tyne Hilton
Well here is my promised review of a new Cozy Mystery Series by Traci Tyne Hilton due for release whenever Traci says so, but it will be soon. The series is called Plain Jane Mystery and the first entry is entitled Good, Clean, Murder.
Okay let’s get the disclaimers out of the way. I was provided a free copy of the book by the author for review purposes. I liked the book. Now it is also true that I have new covers for my books, and they are way cool (look at my page). Traci did them for me only because my previous book covers were truly pathetic and she loves to make book covers. I love to read and I needed a reading fix.
Just so you know, on with the review!
Jane Adler has a lot going for her. She’s hardworking and running her own cleaning service called Plain Jane’s Good Clean Houses. She has an apartment with a roommate. She’s attending Bible College to advance her ambitions towards becoming a missionary, and has met a wonderful man there with boyfriend potential. Ultimately though, Jane truly wants God’s Will for her life.
One problem, she’s 20 years old and thinks she knows everything.
Consequently over the past two years when her parents moved out of state and Jane decided to stay behind in Portland she made a series of bad decisions. All of which are now coming back on her at the same time. In a matter of days she will find that she’s homeless due to her less than ethical roommate, the man she’s attracted to is a teacher which may get her kicked out of school, and that may not even matter as the certificate she has worked so hard for is probably worthless.
Well at least her business is going well. That is until she finds one of her clients, the wealthy owner of Roly Burgers, in his bed, dead, with his wife in same condition in the master bathroom. And it’s payday!
Jane is having a tough week.
If that all sounds very entertaining it’s because it is, and yes I liked this book a lot. Jane is a heroine we can all relate to because if we are honest we have all been in her position. Young, making mistakes, okay a lot of mistakes, and learning the hard lesson (hopefully) that wanting God’s Will in your life is not the same thing as allowing God to do His Will in your life.
You see Jane has habit of doing first and praying later. God always comes through, not always the way she wants just the way she needs. Trouble is that Jane doesn’t always, scratch that, hardly ever, scratch that, NEVER listens to Him until it’s too late. She’s repentant, but she’s not as willing to let Him have control over her destiny as she would like to believe.
Jane’s misadventures are hilarious, especially when she decides she’s going to play detective and find out just who killed her employers. If anyone did. They could have been done in by one too many Roly-Poly burgers. She’s aided in this endeavor, when she can get him to pay attention, by her deceased employer’s son and former classmate the lackadaisical Jake Crawford. Who she finds herself a little too interested in despite the fact that he definitely Mr. Wrong.
Oh those bad boys, even Christian girls have a soft spot for them. Well, he’s not that bad, just lost.
During the subsequent “investigative” process, Jane manages to clear all of her suspects and is no closer to solving the crime than when she started. If there was a crime, remember those burgers. You will groan, in a good natured way, at Jane’s varying degrees of competence and naiveté. Jake too is surprising helpful, when he had a mind to do so. He may be lazy and have a lot bad habits but he really likes Jane. A lot.
Not to be forgotten is the ever steadfast and good looking Isaac Daniels, the teacher who almost got Jane kicked out of school. A lapse in judgment, nothing malicious about it because he also likes Jane. A lot. He is supportive, shares her faith, gives very good advice regarding the investigation, and tries to steer her towards more realistic life goals. Advice Jane can understand, but doesn’t agree with. Remember, listening is a skill she needs to improve on.
Jane does eventually solve the crime, yes there is a crime, but that is due more to luck, or the hand of God, then her deductive skills. Well she’s new to it, and besides how could she have foreseen all of the roadblocks that came her way?
Like her parents riding to rescue, the over enthusiastic fast food protestor that gets her father arrested, the roommate issue that just will not go away, trying to get her mind on the right man and off the wrong one, or the troubles with her car, not all of them mechanical.
Welcome to Jane Land, sit back enjoy the ride.
February 6, 2013
Chasing Lady Midnight - Chapter 4
Chapter 4 – Exit, Stage Down!
On the face of it, the cause of our shock might not be readily apparent to everyone. Because it’s a woman, not a superwoman, just a normal person standing in the midst of the chaos looking way scarier than any super villain I’ve ever seen on TV.
Did I really just say just a normal person? I never knew how good I had it when I was “just” normal. Until I wasn’t anymore.
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be superheroes, at least not these days.
Anyway she’s a well-dressed middle age black woman, slightly rumpled, her hat askew on her head, but still maintaining a sense of dignity. She’s also staring down all of us super beings and somehow managing to be intimidating. At least I’m scared, and Ballistic Attack looks like he desperately wants to climb into that manhole with Protostar. Max is holding it together fairly well except he does take a step or two back. I assume they’re surprised she’s there because she is normal. I’m surprised because it’s her, the woman who got me into this mess.
Although to be fair it wasn’t her fault. She just had the bad luck to get caught up in the middle of a bank robbery and when the scumbags decided they needed a hostage she got picked. I was simply practicing to see if I could use my powers in public without being noticed. Yes, I can hide in the shadows too, but to be safe I had put on the costume. First time in the thing and wouldn’t you know it? Suddenly three fleeing men appear before me, with guns, one of them pointed at this poor woman’s head as they drag her along with them.
I had to do something. So I did the superhero thing and saved the day. I used the shadows to get the guns, pulled the hostage away from her captor, and set the three no goods into the back of the nearest police car. All in record time and with no one getting hurt, thank you very much. I had pulled the hostage towards me and bent down to make sure she was okay, which she was fortunately, but that was when Protostar blasted me from behind and started the whole drama.
You see The Squad is always on the lookout for an UNA, short for Unknown Non-Affiliate, what they call a super whatever who is not registered in their rosters on one side or the other. Now I know that sounds really creepy, but trust me it’s much, much worse.
So now to see this same unknown woman standing in the middle of a super fight, looking more mad than scared of any of us was a little disconcerting.
“Ma’am you need to evacuate this location immediately…” Metallica Max finally started authoritatively when the woman stopped him. She didn’t shout, but said with deadly calm, “Don’t mess with me sonny, I’ve had a DAY and you are dangerously close to working my last nerve. Just what do think you are doing anyway?”
Now this is where I think The Squad’s training regime falls short. Supers kids start their training at a very young age, and as a result they have very little contact with the general public. The result of which is they learn how to interact with other super beings, but they don’t have a clue on how to relate to a normal person.
As a result Max, not expecting confrontation, wasn’t sure how to react to it. What he should have done was to be a respectful, calming influence and try to convince her to remove herself from what he was certain was harm’s way. What he did was to look down his nose at her and get all super superior.
Bad idea.
“You do not seem to understand. I am Metallica Max, member of The Protection Platoon and under the authority of The Mighty Superhero Security Squad I order you to…”
“You WHAT?”
As his antagonist puts her hands on her hips and looks ready to take his head off at any minute, Max does what he should have done in first place and shuts up.
“I know who you are,” she continued, “And I know who you work for, and I know you don’t have the authority to order me off a public street my taxes paid for and which you are in the process of tearing up. Do YOU understand?”
Max, now totally without confidence, says nothing but nods quickly.
“Now back to my original question. Why are attacking this poor girl? Because she has a better sense of style than you do?”
I always did think that Max’s red and gold outfit was a bit too gaudy. Max, however, is too scared to do what he usually does when anyone points this out to him and take offense.
“Well,” he offered weakly, “She’s a criminal and we were ordered to…”
“Criminal? She didn’t do anything wrong!”
Finally! Someone agrees with me! I could have kissed her, if I wasn’t still behind my shields that is, and if I wasn’t afraid she’d hit me or something.
“She stopped and saved me from real bad guys. Unlike you other so-called hero types who never will give a normal person the time of day. Oh be a big time politician or business tycoon with a splinter in their finger and you people are there in a second with a first aid kit. Be a nobody like me taken by gunpoint by no-goods robbing a bank and you don’t even have time to give a look see.”
“I assure you,” he tried again but with a slight stammer this time, “We have ample reason to believe…”
“Okay, so what did she do? I haven’t seen her picture on the 10 most wanted super villains list. I should know you all broadcast it often enough. Some special update always interrupting my viewing pleasure.”
It was then that Max’s expression went blank, making it obvious that he had no idea what I was supposed to have done.
Oops.
It is then that all of my suspicions were confirmed. The Platoon had been set up. They had been dispatched with Tracker once I was identified as an UNA. I’m not even surprised by how fast they got to my location, these are super control freaks we are talking about. Anyway depending on how it went down either the kudos would go to Tracker’s superior leadership or the blame would be put on the young inexperienced team.
Lovely people my sister and her friends work for. Not that they any choice, they just don’t know that.
At Max’s indecision the woman pounced, “That’s what I thought. No good reason whatsoever am I right?”
Fortunately for Max, my sister quite unknowingly comes to his rescue.
“Hey,” I hear Protostar call out plaintively from under the man hole, “Can someone get me out of here? Please?”
Ballistic Attack and Metallica Max look at each other obviously both too terrified to move. Finally, they both look at me with pleading eyes. I feel like saying, “Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the bad guy?”
But I don’t. Because that is my sister down that hole. Even if no one but me knows it.
Besides, she did say please.
So once again using their shadows I pull back the truck and open the man hole. I have to admit to being a little worried when instead of flying out, she climbs out. I hope she’s okay.
However, at that moment I notice two flyers in the distance heading in our direction fast. Dark blue spandex and black capes can mean only one thing, Captain Courageous and his sidekick the ever stoic Sergeant Strong (these guys really need to a hire a writer) are rushing to the scene to perform damage control.
That means the media, the police, and worse, other super whoevers are not far behind.
It is definitely time for me to make an exit.
Ballistic Attack is still the closest to me and is distracted by Protostar and the victim who is still reaming them all royally (It’s nice that one person is on my side). So I drop my shields and take a few steps forward until I am in his shadow. Sensing me he turns quickly. I smile, give a little wave and drop straight down into the sidewalk.
Hey, it’s a cool way to travel when I can get it to work.
Blog Alert: Just to let you know next week we take a break in the action as I will be posting a review on a new cozy mystery by Tracy Tyne Hilton.
Lady Midnight (how did she get that name anyway?) and company will be back the next week
On the face of it, the cause of our shock might not be readily apparent to everyone. Because it’s a woman, not a superwoman, just a normal person standing in the midst of the chaos looking way scarier than any super villain I’ve ever seen on TV.
Did I really just say just a normal person? I never knew how good I had it when I was “just” normal. Until I wasn’t anymore.
Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be superheroes, at least not these days.
Anyway she’s a well-dressed middle age black woman, slightly rumpled, her hat askew on her head, but still maintaining a sense of dignity. She’s also staring down all of us super beings and somehow managing to be intimidating. At least I’m scared, and Ballistic Attack looks like he desperately wants to climb into that manhole with Protostar. Max is holding it together fairly well except he does take a step or two back. I assume they’re surprised she’s there because she is normal. I’m surprised because it’s her, the woman who got me into this mess.
Although to be fair it wasn’t her fault. She just had the bad luck to get caught up in the middle of a bank robbery and when the scumbags decided they needed a hostage she got picked. I was simply practicing to see if I could use my powers in public without being noticed. Yes, I can hide in the shadows too, but to be safe I had put on the costume. First time in the thing and wouldn’t you know it? Suddenly three fleeing men appear before me, with guns, one of them pointed at this poor woman’s head as they drag her along with them.
I had to do something. So I did the superhero thing and saved the day. I used the shadows to get the guns, pulled the hostage away from her captor, and set the three no goods into the back of the nearest police car. All in record time and with no one getting hurt, thank you very much. I had pulled the hostage towards me and bent down to make sure she was okay, which she was fortunately, but that was when Protostar blasted me from behind and started the whole drama.
You see The Squad is always on the lookout for an UNA, short for Unknown Non-Affiliate, what they call a super whatever who is not registered in their rosters on one side or the other. Now I know that sounds really creepy, but trust me it’s much, much worse.
So now to see this same unknown woman standing in the middle of a super fight, looking more mad than scared of any of us was a little disconcerting.
“Ma’am you need to evacuate this location immediately…” Metallica Max finally started authoritatively when the woman stopped him. She didn’t shout, but said with deadly calm, “Don’t mess with me sonny, I’ve had a DAY and you are dangerously close to working my last nerve. Just what do think you are doing anyway?”
Now this is where I think The Squad’s training regime falls short. Supers kids start their training at a very young age, and as a result they have very little contact with the general public. The result of which is they learn how to interact with other super beings, but they don’t have a clue on how to relate to a normal person.
As a result Max, not expecting confrontation, wasn’t sure how to react to it. What he should have done was to be a respectful, calming influence and try to convince her to remove herself from what he was certain was harm’s way. What he did was to look down his nose at her and get all super superior.
Bad idea.
“You do not seem to understand. I am Metallica Max, member of The Protection Platoon and under the authority of The Mighty Superhero Security Squad I order you to…”
“You WHAT?”
As his antagonist puts her hands on her hips and looks ready to take his head off at any minute, Max does what he should have done in first place and shuts up.
“I know who you are,” she continued, “And I know who you work for, and I know you don’t have the authority to order me off a public street my taxes paid for and which you are in the process of tearing up. Do YOU understand?”
Max, now totally without confidence, says nothing but nods quickly.
“Now back to my original question. Why are attacking this poor girl? Because she has a better sense of style than you do?”
I always did think that Max’s red and gold outfit was a bit too gaudy. Max, however, is too scared to do what he usually does when anyone points this out to him and take offense.
“Well,” he offered weakly, “She’s a criminal and we were ordered to…”
“Criminal? She didn’t do anything wrong!”
Finally! Someone agrees with me! I could have kissed her, if I wasn’t still behind my shields that is, and if I wasn’t afraid she’d hit me or something.
“She stopped and saved me from real bad guys. Unlike you other so-called hero types who never will give a normal person the time of day. Oh be a big time politician or business tycoon with a splinter in their finger and you people are there in a second with a first aid kit. Be a nobody like me taken by gunpoint by no-goods robbing a bank and you don’t even have time to give a look see.”
“I assure you,” he tried again but with a slight stammer this time, “We have ample reason to believe…”
“Okay, so what did she do? I haven’t seen her picture on the 10 most wanted super villains list. I should know you all broadcast it often enough. Some special update always interrupting my viewing pleasure.”
It was then that Max’s expression went blank, making it obvious that he had no idea what I was supposed to have done.
Oops.
It is then that all of my suspicions were confirmed. The Platoon had been set up. They had been dispatched with Tracker once I was identified as an UNA. I’m not even surprised by how fast they got to my location, these are super control freaks we are talking about. Anyway depending on how it went down either the kudos would go to Tracker’s superior leadership or the blame would be put on the young inexperienced team.
Lovely people my sister and her friends work for. Not that they any choice, they just don’t know that.
At Max’s indecision the woman pounced, “That’s what I thought. No good reason whatsoever am I right?”
Fortunately for Max, my sister quite unknowingly comes to his rescue.
“Hey,” I hear Protostar call out plaintively from under the man hole, “Can someone get me out of here? Please?”
Ballistic Attack and Metallica Max look at each other obviously both too terrified to move. Finally, they both look at me with pleading eyes. I feel like saying, “Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the bad guy?”
But I don’t. Because that is my sister down that hole. Even if no one but me knows it.
Besides, she did say please.
So once again using their shadows I pull back the truck and open the man hole. I have to admit to being a little worried when instead of flying out, she climbs out. I hope she’s okay.
However, at that moment I notice two flyers in the distance heading in our direction fast. Dark blue spandex and black capes can mean only one thing, Captain Courageous and his sidekick the ever stoic Sergeant Strong (these guys really need to a hire a writer) are rushing to the scene to perform damage control.
That means the media, the police, and worse, other super whoevers are not far behind.
It is definitely time for me to make an exit.
Ballistic Attack is still the closest to me and is distracted by Protostar and the victim who is still reaming them all royally (It’s nice that one person is on my side). So I drop my shields and take a few steps forward until I am in his shadow. Sensing me he turns quickly. I smile, give a little wave and drop straight down into the sidewalk.
Hey, it’s a cool way to travel when I can get it to work.
Blog Alert: Just to let you know next week we take a break in the action as I will be posting a review on a new cozy mystery by Tracy Tyne Hilton.
Lady Midnight (how did she get that name anyway?) and company will be back the next week
January 31, 2013
Chasing Lady Midnight - Chapter 3
Chapter 3 – Me and Everyone’s Shadow
Fortunately my initial analysis of the situation seems to have been a bit premature. Because instead of attacking me, which I had assumed was the object of this endeavor, Tracker begins laying into Protostar for not leading me into his planned ambush (I knew it!). Of course it could be an act to put me off my guard, but I don’t think so. I know Tracker, he is a brilliant tactician, but he doesn’t handle variables very well. The variable in this case being me not doing what he thought I should do.
Superhero men with their super egos, I will never figure them out.
Now at his criticism and I mean really harsh criticism, Protostar actually has tears welling up into her eyes. She really is a sensitive little thing and her feelings get hurt easily. Come on, she’s only eighteen and just graduated into an actual superhero team, even if it is the junior squad. I know she wanted to do well and would do exactly as she was told. I almost feel bad that I couldn’t help her out by letting her lead me into an ambush. Because when she’s not trying to Star Blast me into oblivion I’m rather fond of her. Which is what makes me so furious because I know exactly what Tracker is doing.
His plan didn’t work so now he’s shifting the blame onto her. Because he and everyone else knows that the media is somewhere close by filming the whole thing and airing it as a special report. So we can’t have the premier battle mastermind of The Mighty Superhero Security Squad looking fallible now can we?
I could relate the whole diatribe, but in spite of the politically correct language he uses he basically calls her a dumb blond incapable of following simple orders. Now my hair is currently black, but for most of my life I have been exclusively a blond. A dark blond but blond nonetheless. I’ve heard all of the blond jokes, they are not funny, and my sister is not dumb! So now Mr. Super Obnoxious has got my blood pressure up not only for being responsible for me being chased all over town for no reason, reaming my little sister for all of the world to see for something that was not her fault, but also for being prejudice against blonds!
Oh I am definitely going do something to this guy. I don’t know what yet, but I hope it hurts. Not the most Christian attitude, I admit, but hey I only want to hurt him a little. Okay a lot, but I’ll settle for a little.
To their credit both Ballistic Attack and Metallica Max immediately stand up for their teammate. Good boys. In fact, they are all so intent on each other that I’m beginning to wonder if they remember I’m here. Now would be a good time to escape, but again the shadows aren’t close enough to…wait a minute.
As I notice Ballistics’ huge shadow I get a glimmer of an idea of how I may be able to make my first offensive move of the day. I look at the shadow and bend my fingers in a beckoning motion. The shadow moves towards me, but Ballistic hasn’t.
That’s when the idea solidifies, and it’s a good one. Must be from God, I’m not this smart.
Looking at Tracker I verify he still barking recriminations and even more orders. You would think the guy would take a breath somewhere. Anyway, trying not to draw to attention to myself, I look off in the distance until I see what I am looking for. A very tall building with a flat roof. That should work, if I can reach that far, or rather if Ballistics’ shadow can reach that far.
I look back to the shadow and give a gesture of my hand towards Tracker. It immediately responds, and fortunately no one notices as it begins to slide over the street towards my target. Once there I give an upward circular motion with my hand, and the shadow follows my movement off the ground and loops Tracker around the waist lifting him into the air. Before anyone can react, I point my arm towards the building and the shadow carries him to the roof and at my release motion it drops him.
Okay, it’s more of a slam than a drop, but that’s what he gets for picking on my baby sister and insulting our hair color. Even if it’s not my hair color just at the present time.
I figure it’s a good 20 minute run from there, even with Tracker’s speed and endurance, and assuming the roof access isn’t locked. Oh wouldn’t that be too bad?
As I release my control, the shadow retreats back to its original position in front of Ballistic Attack. The Protection Platoon look stunned, and I can’t say as I blame them. I’m a little shocked myself that worked.
Max shouts, “Protostar go get Tracker! Ballistic get her shields down.”
You know that’s not a bad plan. Who knew Max had it in him? Too bad I can’t let him get away with it.
Ballistic Attack immediately rushes forward and begins to pound on my shields with his huge fists. Fortunately they hold, but I can it feel it and know if I give him enough time he will distract me enough to weaken them. The trick is not to give it to him.
As Protostar starts to take off towards Tracker I decide to use both her own shadow and Max’s to stop her. First I catch her with her own shadow around the ankle, then using Max’s shadow I open a metal manhole cover a little father back on the street. I then quickly pull her in, and bring down the cover. To keep her there I pull forward a large semi-truck, abandoned by one of the many sensible civilians, so that the front wheels rests on top of the cover. I hear Protostar’s blast hit it, but the Peterbuilt will not be moved. So when the blast comes back on her Protostar gives a loud, “Ow!”
Ooh, at that close a range that must have stung. Not that I’m not worried, I’ve seen her hit herself plenty of times during practice sessions before her aim improved. It doesn’t cause any major damage, as she absorbs the energy, but that doesn’t mean it feels good when it hits. I can attest to that.
Now I know I made all of that sound easy, but when a behemoth is pounding on your shields, you’re trying to control two shadows at the same time, and not hurt your sister (Mom and Dad would not be happy) nothing about that maneuver was easy.
But easy doesn’t matter, what matters is that it is now two against one and not four against one.
Booyah.
At Protostar’s yell Ballistic Attack stops pounding on my shields, thank goodness, and looks to Metallica Max obviously not knowing what to do. Hey, the guy’s got brains but he’s not leadership material. Max, who is proving to be more than competent in that department, is obviously trying to come up with a plan, any plan.
Hey, I feel for the guy, seeing that I was in the exact same position just a few minutes ago. To give Max his due he doesn’t give up and shouts, “Get Protostar out then we’ll regroup and …
“You have done quite enough!” a voice shouts from the side.
Everybody, me included, look in the direction of the voice, and we all astonished by what we see.
Fortunately my initial analysis of the situation seems to have been a bit premature. Because instead of attacking me, which I had assumed was the object of this endeavor, Tracker begins laying into Protostar for not leading me into his planned ambush (I knew it!). Of course it could be an act to put me off my guard, but I don’t think so. I know Tracker, he is a brilliant tactician, but he doesn’t handle variables very well. The variable in this case being me not doing what he thought I should do.
Superhero men with their super egos, I will never figure them out.
Now at his criticism and I mean really harsh criticism, Protostar actually has tears welling up into her eyes. She really is a sensitive little thing and her feelings get hurt easily. Come on, she’s only eighteen and just graduated into an actual superhero team, even if it is the junior squad. I know she wanted to do well and would do exactly as she was told. I almost feel bad that I couldn’t help her out by letting her lead me into an ambush. Because when she’s not trying to Star Blast me into oblivion I’m rather fond of her. Which is what makes me so furious because I know exactly what Tracker is doing.
His plan didn’t work so now he’s shifting the blame onto her. Because he and everyone else knows that the media is somewhere close by filming the whole thing and airing it as a special report. So we can’t have the premier battle mastermind of The Mighty Superhero Security Squad looking fallible now can we?
I could relate the whole diatribe, but in spite of the politically correct language he uses he basically calls her a dumb blond incapable of following simple orders. Now my hair is currently black, but for most of my life I have been exclusively a blond. A dark blond but blond nonetheless. I’ve heard all of the blond jokes, they are not funny, and my sister is not dumb! So now Mr. Super Obnoxious has got my blood pressure up not only for being responsible for me being chased all over town for no reason, reaming my little sister for all of the world to see for something that was not her fault, but also for being prejudice against blonds!
Oh I am definitely going do something to this guy. I don’t know what yet, but I hope it hurts. Not the most Christian attitude, I admit, but hey I only want to hurt him a little. Okay a lot, but I’ll settle for a little.
To their credit both Ballistic Attack and Metallica Max immediately stand up for their teammate. Good boys. In fact, they are all so intent on each other that I’m beginning to wonder if they remember I’m here. Now would be a good time to escape, but again the shadows aren’t close enough to…wait a minute.
As I notice Ballistics’ huge shadow I get a glimmer of an idea of how I may be able to make my first offensive move of the day. I look at the shadow and bend my fingers in a beckoning motion. The shadow moves towards me, but Ballistic hasn’t.
That’s when the idea solidifies, and it’s a good one. Must be from God, I’m not this smart.
Looking at Tracker I verify he still barking recriminations and even more orders. You would think the guy would take a breath somewhere. Anyway, trying not to draw to attention to myself, I look off in the distance until I see what I am looking for. A very tall building with a flat roof. That should work, if I can reach that far, or rather if Ballistics’ shadow can reach that far.
I look back to the shadow and give a gesture of my hand towards Tracker. It immediately responds, and fortunately no one notices as it begins to slide over the street towards my target. Once there I give an upward circular motion with my hand, and the shadow follows my movement off the ground and loops Tracker around the waist lifting him into the air. Before anyone can react, I point my arm towards the building and the shadow carries him to the roof and at my release motion it drops him.
Okay, it’s more of a slam than a drop, but that’s what he gets for picking on my baby sister and insulting our hair color. Even if it’s not my hair color just at the present time.
I figure it’s a good 20 minute run from there, even with Tracker’s speed and endurance, and assuming the roof access isn’t locked. Oh wouldn’t that be too bad?
As I release my control, the shadow retreats back to its original position in front of Ballistic Attack. The Protection Platoon look stunned, and I can’t say as I blame them. I’m a little shocked myself that worked.
Max shouts, “Protostar go get Tracker! Ballistic get her shields down.”
You know that’s not a bad plan. Who knew Max had it in him? Too bad I can’t let him get away with it.
Ballistic Attack immediately rushes forward and begins to pound on my shields with his huge fists. Fortunately they hold, but I can it feel it and know if I give him enough time he will distract me enough to weaken them. The trick is not to give it to him.
As Protostar starts to take off towards Tracker I decide to use both her own shadow and Max’s to stop her. First I catch her with her own shadow around the ankle, then using Max’s shadow I open a metal manhole cover a little father back on the street. I then quickly pull her in, and bring down the cover. To keep her there I pull forward a large semi-truck, abandoned by one of the many sensible civilians, so that the front wheels rests on top of the cover. I hear Protostar’s blast hit it, but the Peterbuilt will not be moved. So when the blast comes back on her Protostar gives a loud, “Ow!”
Ooh, at that close a range that must have stung. Not that I’m not worried, I’ve seen her hit herself plenty of times during practice sessions before her aim improved. It doesn’t cause any major damage, as she absorbs the energy, but that doesn’t mean it feels good when it hits. I can attest to that.
Now I know I made all of that sound easy, but when a behemoth is pounding on your shields, you’re trying to control two shadows at the same time, and not hurt your sister (Mom and Dad would not be happy) nothing about that maneuver was easy.
But easy doesn’t matter, what matters is that it is now two against one and not four against one.
Booyah.
At Protostar’s yell Ballistic Attack stops pounding on my shields, thank goodness, and looks to Metallica Max obviously not knowing what to do. Hey, the guy’s got brains but he’s not leadership material. Max, who is proving to be more than competent in that department, is obviously trying to come up with a plan, any plan.
Hey, I feel for the guy, seeing that I was in the exact same position just a few minutes ago. To give Max his due he doesn’t give up and shouts, “Get Protostar out then we’ll regroup and …
“You have done quite enough!” a voice shouts from the side.
Everybody, me included, look in the direction of the voice, and we all astonished by what we see.
January 24, 2013
Chasing Lady Midnight - Chapters 1 and 2
Okay I got a request to post my little superhero story here as well. I'll be posting on Thursday, if you want to catch it earlier it will be on my personal blog www.shortmysteriesandtalltales.blogsp... on Wednesday. Anyway, this week you get Chapters 1 and 2, after this it's one a week. Hope you enjoy it!
Chapter 1 - Some Have Greatness Thrust Upon Them – Whether They Like It Or Not
Look, I understand the whole concept of sibling rivalry, but when your superpowered baby sister wants to clean your clock I call that a bit extreme.
Not that she knows it’s me she’s trying to blast to kingdom come, and who can blame her? I am wearing a mask and my hair and eyes are the wrong color. Also her older sister (she always stresses the “older” part) is not supposed to have superpowers. It’s a long story, which I would be happy to relate in detail, except just at the moment I’m too busy running, trying not to get blasted again and figure out what to do next.
My sister (superhero handle Protostar) is flying, which is not the advantage you would think in a busy city street during morning rush hour. Now I can’t fly, but if I could get a minute to think I could use the shadows to make an escape. But that’s not as easy as it sounds….again long story I do not have time to go into right now.
I’ll get back to it, if I live that long.
At first I was a bit shocked that Protostar (man that’s a dumb name) sucker punched me the way she did starting this whole chase. It is just not the type of behavior you would expect from the heir apparent to the title of America’s Sweetheart of Superheroes.
Isn’t there some super rule discouraging attacking from behind when the attackee hasn’t done anything wrong? Especially seeing how she’s a member of The Protection Platoon, one of many the junior divisions of the supposedly squeaky clean Mighty Superhero Security Squad.
The names just keep getting worse so get used to it.
Makes you wonder what they’re teaching her in that fancy superhero school she attends. But why am I asking silly questions? I do know, and I can tell you it’s not all Truth, Justice and The American Way.
But back to the chase.
I’m sure my sister and her teammates have a plan for the new unknown costumed supergirl on the block which I think I’ve figured out. I’m just not sure if it that will do me any good.
I’ve noticed that Protostar is now aiming her shots wide, thus missing civilians, who are all sensibly running for cover, and minimizing property damage. It also keeps me going forward, driving me somewhere, I think, not so in the public eye. Although how they think they’re going to lose the media who are hot on our tails is a mystery. Where do those guys come from anyway? You’d think they had superpowers.
That is a scary thought.
Anyway, I figure once Protostar and her crew get me where they want me there is an ambush in my immediate future to neutralize and take me into custody on some pretext or another. None of which sounds particularly appealing and I hope to avoid it.
To accomplish that I’m going to have to stop and fight which means coming up with my own plan, on the spot, against at least three superheroes, one of them my own sister, not hurt anybody and make a clean getaway.
No problem.
I guess you’re wondering if I’m not a supervillain, which I’m not, how did I get on the wrong side of all these superheroes?
Well this is what happens when you don’t join the union.
Chapter 2 – Fight Or Flight, When You Can Only Flight For Long
Okay I suppose now would be a good time to come up with a strategy. However, having stunk at the game of chess my whole life in a family of chess enthusiasts, strategy is not exactly my strong suit. I can’t even win at checkers!
But I need a plan, and the only one that comes to mind is taking the high ground. Seeing as I’m up against a flyer that one doesn’t seem very practical.
Okay Plan B, pray! Please God, a little help down here. If you’ve got any ideas…
Silly question.
Because then I see it. A small alcove in one of the buildings I’m running towards. Okay, note to self, make praying Plan A.
Although officially I suppose it’s not an alcove, but I’m also not architect, and anyway who cares what it’s really called. That weird thing in the wall, whatever! I have other things to concern myself with at the moment. Like NOT GETTING AMBUSHED!
True, it will box me in, but that also means it will protect my back and my flanks. Also it’s too long and narrow for Protostar to get over my head and aim with any accuracy. Her team members are earthbound so that means they can only come at me from the front, and only one at a time. This is good because as a team they are as green as I am. Trust me, these people have been my house, well my parents’ house, I hear all about their trials and tribulations being superheroes in training.
Logically speaking this is a good battleground for me because it’s my battleground choice not theirs. Meaning they will have to adapt along with me. But it begs the question...
How am I going to get out?
I know God knows what He’s doing, but I can’t figure this one.
So going on faith I duck into the alcove, weird thing in the wall, whatever. Not anticipating the move Protostar actually overflies my position and has to flies back. She fires her force blast, which everyone calls Star Blasts. Hey the lame names just keep on coming.
Fortunately my shields come over me like a dome…
Wait, I have shields? Cool.
That must have been a defensive instinct on my part because right now my instincts are way better at controlling this new power of mine than when I try on purpose. It’s all part of that long story I mentioned earlier.
Anyway, the shields are not only deflecting Protostar’s power surges, but they are also acting like giant filter against the sun which is blaring in my eyes. That's good, what's bad is the sun's position also means there are no shadows near enough that I can use as an escape route. They are all in front of me and to get to them I would have to lower my shields and be right back where I started.
What all that means is that now that I have a defensive position, I will need an offensive plan to get out of this mess.
You know, this superhero stuff involves way too much thinking.
God, a little more help would be greatly appreciated, if it’s not too much bother.
For her part, Protostar looks downright disconcerted behind her cute little blue mask that goes with her cute little white and blue outfit...uh-oh, here comes the back up at full speed.
In the lead there’s Ballistic Attack, who resembles a human tank with a ton of muscle. An effect only enhanced by his orange and yellow costume. Whoever chose that outfit was not into subtlety. But when you’re a guy who’s seven foot tall, has muscles that Mr. Universe would envy and could pound everyone and everything that gets in his way into a pulp if he wanted, I don’t think subtlety would help. By the way, don’t let the bulk fool you there are brains behind all that brawn. This guy does geometry problems for fun.
Just behind Ballistic is Metallica Max, he’s the leader of the junior superhero team, you can tell that from the flashy red and gold costume. Guess you got to see your leader in battle. He can change his skin into any metal from platinum to tin. Now if he only had a heart. Sorry the guy gets on my last nerve, which is kind of too bad since he was my best friend growing up. That is until he discovered superheroes weren’t supposed to mingle with the common folk.
Now there’s irony for you.
Wait a minute, there’s another one? But the junior teams are always in threes. Who…Tracker??? What the heck is he doing here? He’s on the A-list team. Don’t let the simple, and not lame, name or understated costume of brown leather and fancy sunglasses for a mask fool you. This guy is seriously scary. Heightened senses that a blood hound would envy, a practically unbreakable bone structure, and a tactical mind (which I could use right now) that works faster than the speed of light. I’d rather face Colonel Courageous and Wildcat Woman together than this guy. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like I’m going to get that option.
In the immortal words of Ed Grimley, I am as doomed as doomed can be.
Chapter 1 - Some Have Greatness Thrust Upon Them – Whether They Like It Or Not
Look, I understand the whole concept of sibling rivalry, but when your superpowered baby sister wants to clean your clock I call that a bit extreme.
Not that she knows it’s me she’s trying to blast to kingdom come, and who can blame her? I am wearing a mask and my hair and eyes are the wrong color. Also her older sister (she always stresses the “older” part) is not supposed to have superpowers. It’s a long story, which I would be happy to relate in detail, except just at the moment I’m too busy running, trying not to get blasted again and figure out what to do next.
My sister (superhero handle Protostar) is flying, which is not the advantage you would think in a busy city street during morning rush hour. Now I can’t fly, but if I could get a minute to think I could use the shadows to make an escape. But that’s not as easy as it sounds….again long story I do not have time to go into right now.
I’ll get back to it, if I live that long.
At first I was a bit shocked that Protostar (man that’s a dumb name) sucker punched me the way she did starting this whole chase. It is just not the type of behavior you would expect from the heir apparent to the title of America’s Sweetheart of Superheroes.
Isn’t there some super rule discouraging attacking from behind when the attackee hasn’t done anything wrong? Especially seeing how she’s a member of The Protection Platoon, one of many the junior divisions of the supposedly squeaky clean Mighty Superhero Security Squad.
The names just keep getting worse so get used to it.
Makes you wonder what they’re teaching her in that fancy superhero school she attends. But why am I asking silly questions? I do know, and I can tell you it’s not all Truth, Justice and The American Way.
But back to the chase.
I’m sure my sister and her teammates have a plan for the new unknown costumed supergirl on the block which I think I’ve figured out. I’m just not sure if it that will do me any good.
I’ve noticed that Protostar is now aiming her shots wide, thus missing civilians, who are all sensibly running for cover, and minimizing property damage. It also keeps me going forward, driving me somewhere, I think, not so in the public eye. Although how they think they’re going to lose the media who are hot on our tails is a mystery. Where do those guys come from anyway? You’d think they had superpowers.
That is a scary thought.
Anyway, I figure once Protostar and her crew get me where they want me there is an ambush in my immediate future to neutralize and take me into custody on some pretext or another. None of which sounds particularly appealing and I hope to avoid it.
To accomplish that I’m going to have to stop and fight which means coming up with my own plan, on the spot, against at least three superheroes, one of them my own sister, not hurt anybody and make a clean getaway.
No problem.
I guess you’re wondering if I’m not a supervillain, which I’m not, how did I get on the wrong side of all these superheroes?
Well this is what happens when you don’t join the union.
Chapter 2 – Fight Or Flight, When You Can Only Flight For Long
Okay I suppose now would be a good time to come up with a strategy. However, having stunk at the game of chess my whole life in a family of chess enthusiasts, strategy is not exactly my strong suit. I can’t even win at checkers!
But I need a plan, and the only one that comes to mind is taking the high ground. Seeing as I’m up against a flyer that one doesn’t seem very practical.
Okay Plan B, pray! Please God, a little help down here. If you’ve got any ideas…
Silly question.
Because then I see it. A small alcove in one of the buildings I’m running towards. Okay, note to self, make praying Plan A.
Although officially I suppose it’s not an alcove, but I’m also not architect, and anyway who cares what it’s really called. That weird thing in the wall, whatever! I have other things to concern myself with at the moment. Like NOT GETTING AMBUSHED!
True, it will box me in, but that also means it will protect my back and my flanks. Also it’s too long and narrow for Protostar to get over my head and aim with any accuracy. Her team members are earthbound so that means they can only come at me from the front, and only one at a time. This is good because as a team they are as green as I am. Trust me, these people have been my house, well my parents’ house, I hear all about their trials and tribulations being superheroes in training.
Logically speaking this is a good battleground for me because it’s my battleground choice not theirs. Meaning they will have to adapt along with me. But it begs the question...
How am I going to get out?
I know God knows what He’s doing, but I can’t figure this one.
So going on faith I duck into the alcove, weird thing in the wall, whatever. Not anticipating the move Protostar actually overflies my position and has to flies back. She fires her force blast, which everyone calls Star Blasts. Hey the lame names just keep on coming.
Fortunately my shields come over me like a dome…
Wait, I have shields? Cool.
That must have been a defensive instinct on my part because right now my instincts are way better at controlling this new power of mine than when I try on purpose. It’s all part of that long story I mentioned earlier.
Anyway, the shields are not only deflecting Protostar’s power surges, but they are also acting like giant filter against the sun which is blaring in my eyes. That's good, what's bad is the sun's position also means there are no shadows near enough that I can use as an escape route. They are all in front of me and to get to them I would have to lower my shields and be right back where I started.
What all that means is that now that I have a defensive position, I will need an offensive plan to get out of this mess.
You know, this superhero stuff involves way too much thinking.
God, a little more help would be greatly appreciated, if it’s not too much bother.
For her part, Protostar looks downright disconcerted behind her cute little blue mask that goes with her cute little white and blue outfit...uh-oh, here comes the back up at full speed.
In the lead there’s Ballistic Attack, who resembles a human tank with a ton of muscle. An effect only enhanced by his orange and yellow costume. Whoever chose that outfit was not into subtlety. But when you’re a guy who’s seven foot tall, has muscles that Mr. Universe would envy and could pound everyone and everything that gets in his way into a pulp if he wanted, I don’t think subtlety would help. By the way, don’t let the bulk fool you there are brains behind all that brawn. This guy does geometry problems for fun.
Just behind Ballistic is Metallica Max, he’s the leader of the junior superhero team, you can tell that from the flashy red and gold costume. Guess you got to see your leader in battle. He can change his skin into any metal from platinum to tin. Now if he only had a heart. Sorry the guy gets on my last nerve, which is kind of too bad since he was my best friend growing up. That is until he discovered superheroes weren’t supposed to mingle with the common folk.
Now there’s irony for you.
Wait a minute, there’s another one? But the junior teams are always in threes. Who…Tracker??? What the heck is he doing here? He’s on the A-list team. Don’t let the simple, and not lame, name or understated costume of brown leather and fancy sunglasses for a mask fool you. This guy is seriously scary. Heightened senses that a blood hound would envy, a practically unbreakable bone structure, and a tactical mind (which I could use right now) that works faster than the speed of light. I’d rather face Colonel Courageous and Wildcat Woman together than this guy. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like I’m going to get that option.
In the immortal words of Ed Grimley, I am as doomed as doomed can be.
January 13, 2013
To Start Out 2013
Okay I am still working on my next book in the Reboot Files series, but I'm going to be posting a little novelette on my personal blog, Short Mysteries and Tall Tales, and by popular demand, well one person, The Cozy Mystery Magazine starting next week. I'm splitting it up into chapters and will post one a week.
It's going to be a superhero story. Hey! It's a tall tale. It counts!
So why a superhero story? Well back in the day I was a major comic book geek. That’s right, I was absolutely obsessed with them for a few years. Then I got older, they got out of my price range, they started crossing story lines into so many different titles you didn't know what was going on (did I mention they got really expensive?), and the story lines got way too dark and disturbing for my taste.
Also I moved, didn't want to move them, so I gave it up for mysteries which I could check out at the library before the ereader was even out. This was a long time ago.
Anyway, at the time, like any comic book lover, I made up my own super characters and stories. Warning! I cannot draw worth beans so do not expect any illustrations. Anyway, I decided to dust one of hem off, make a proper story out it and post it.
Is it good? Well I think so, but I wrote it so I don't count. This is just for fun, and I hope whoever comes by likes it.
So what's it about? Well it's all takes place in an America where superheroes are common, of course, where this one particular family who are all superheroes resides. All except that is for the first born daughter who didn't inherit any superpowers. This is kind of embarrassing all the way around. Especially as her younger superpowered sister could whip her behind very easily, if there wasn’t a super rule against it of course.
Well one day, out of the blue, this loan normal person in a family of extraordinary people suddenly has superpowers. And she didn't even get bitten by a radioactive anything!
So that should make everyone happy right?
Well there's just one problem, she can't tell anybody about it except an ex-supervillain she goes to church with. Why?
Well, that's the story.
See you next week!
It's going to be a superhero story. Hey! It's a tall tale. It counts!
So why a superhero story? Well back in the day I was a major comic book geek. That’s right, I was absolutely obsessed with them for a few years. Then I got older, they got out of my price range, they started crossing story lines into so many different titles you didn't know what was going on (did I mention they got really expensive?), and the story lines got way too dark and disturbing for my taste.
Also I moved, didn't want to move them, so I gave it up for mysteries which I could check out at the library before the ereader was even out. This was a long time ago.
Anyway, at the time, like any comic book lover, I made up my own super characters and stories. Warning! I cannot draw worth beans so do not expect any illustrations. Anyway, I decided to dust one of hem off, make a proper story out it and post it.
Is it good? Well I think so, but I wrote it so I don't count. This is just for fun, and I hope whoever comes by likes it.
So what's it about? Well it's all takes place in an America where superheroes are common, of course, where this one particular family who are all superheroes resides. All except that is for the first born daughter who didn't inherit any superpowers. This is kind of embarrassing all the way around. Especially as her younger superpowered sister could whip her behind very easily, if there wasn’t a super rule against it of course.
Well one day, out of the blue, this loan normal person in a family of extraordinary people suddenly has superpowers. And she didn't even get bitten by a radioactive anything!
So that should make everyone happy right?
Well there's just one problem, she can't tell anybody about it except an ex-supervillain she goes to church with. Why?
Well, that's the story.
See you next week!
November 20, 2012
My New Inspiration!
Well I am hard at work on my newest Reboot Files with a working title of "The Straw Man Myth". We'll see if that sticks, but you all know me and titles. They tend to change by the time I'm done.
Anyway this time out Irene and her trusty cameraman Troy will be in pursuit of some creepy scarecrows hanging around a frustratingly intricate corn maze which was designed by no less than Bob Cullens from The Mystery of Hurtleberry House.
What's that you say? Didn't Bob retire? Well he was on his way to his daughter's house and...to be continued.
Come on, you didn't really think I was going to tell did you? To make it up to you here are a few more hints.
Irene's techno sister Matty will have an expanded role in this book, of course The Records Department will be around plotting their plots although their end game is not yet clear (sorry), and I will be giving away a few secrets of just who Bernie aka Barnaby Youngstown is and what his issues are with The Records Department. Also The Voice will be identified! That's right, God finally let me in on it! Yes, it's a character I've already established in the other books and I hope it's a shocker for you. I would hate for it to be a let down. I can only promise to do my best.
Anyway, I was having a bit of trouble with my villains, the scarecrows, so I thought I'd go out and get some inspiration. What do you think?
Does he make your blood run cold from terror?
Well I guess the little guy is a bit too cute to be scary, but don't tell him. He tries so hard.
Anyway, my books are hardly scary, so that's probably just as well.
I'll have to think of a suitable frightening name for him.
What you do think? Sandy the Scarecrow?
Wait, Sandy is my brother-in-law's name.
Oops, sorry Sue!
Anyway this time out Irene and her trusty cameraman Troy will be in pursuit of some creepy scarecrows hanging around a frustratingly intricate corn maze which was designed by no less than Bob Cullens from The Mystery of Hurtleberry House.
What's that you say? Didn't Bob retire? Well he was on his way to his daughter's house and...to be continued.
Come on, you didn't really think I was going to tell did you? To make it up to you here are a few more hints.
Irene's techno sister Matty will have an expanded role in this book, of course The Records Department will be around plotting their plots although their end game is not yet clear (sorry), and I will be giving away a few secrets of just who Bernie aka Barnaby Youngstown is and what his issues are with The Records Department. Also The Voice will be identified! That's right, God finally let me in on it! Yes, it's a character I've already established in the other books and I hope it's a shocker for you. I would hate for it to be a let down. I can only promise to do my best.
Anyway, I was having a bit of trouble with my villains, the scarecrows, so I thought I'd go out and get some inspiration. What do you think?
Does he make your blood run cold from terror?
Well I guess the little guy is a bit too cute to be scary, but don't tell him. He tries so hard.
Anyway, my books are hardly scary, so that's probably just as well.
I'll have to think of a suitable frightening name for him.
What you do think? Sandy the Scarecrow?
Wait, Sandy is my brother-in-law's name.
Oops, sorry Sue!
October 18, 2012
A Review: The Birds by Daphne du Maurier
Real Birds Wouldn't Pose Again, But Even The Fake Ones Look Like They're Up To No Good
I admit that I am a fan of the movie The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. So when I found out it was basked on a short story by Daphne du Maurier (of Rebecca fame) I decided to check it out.
First question I know you are going to ask. Was it as scary as the movie? No.
It was way scarier.
Of course my state of mind might be a little off (yeah I know isn’t it always?) when a few days before I read The Birds an Angry Bird of some sort swooped down at me, for no reason whatsoever (really!) while I was minding my own business just going into a store. I actually felt its little belly rubbing against the top of my head, and it was so fast that I didn’t even see what kind of bird it was. Don’t worry, no damage done, but isn’t it the wrong time of year for them to be defending their nests or whatever their excuse is for swooping at people?
You’d think it had read my post where I call birds creepy. Of course that would mean that birds can read, and have access to a computer and know how to surf the web…
Did I mention birds are creepy?
Creepiness aside, you may wonder how a story about birds could possibly be scary. I mean we don’t really take them all that seriously as a threat now do we? Well I do, but then I have turkey vultures hanging around the creepy trees in the back of my place. I know, life is conspiring to give me a bird and tree phobia. Still aside from those neighbors what could possibly make our feathered friends scary?
How about this. What if the birds all got together, I mean all of them, got organized, and decided to take over at the top of the food chain? This means they decided that we would make for good eating.
See what I mean about creepy?
Well this is supposed to be a review, so here’s the plot in brief. Farm laborer notices that the birds are acting strange. (Sorry guys, no gratuitious blond in this plot that was all Hitchcock.) Farm laborer and children are attacked in their home that same night by swallows. Wife thinks he’s exaggerating the whole thing. (Why do wives always think that?) The next day the birds are amassing into large groups, and flying every which way as if they have a specific purpose in mind. Farm laborer senses the birds are up to no good. He’s right but no one takes him seriously. (Do they ever?) Their lack of concern is explained by one character asking our hero even if the birds are hatching a plot of some sort (sorry I couldn't resist) what can they do?
Quite a lot as it turns out.
Well at least the wife is taking him more seriously.
The laborer is determined to protect his family from the bird threat, but the situation does not look good for humanity.
What I really liked about the short story, and I liked it a lot, is it better explains what is going on with the birds than the movie did. Now I say this as a fan of the movie. Hitchcock was a master filmmaker, but the movie shows the birds running amok, but the explanation, or theorizing, of the behavior is not clear enough. At least I never got it. You may be smarter than me.
In the short story the birds are a ruthless, invading army dedicated to the total annihilation of the enemy. Us.
There is this one description of a gannet, a really big seabird, preparing itself for an attack that will definitely take out our hero which was terrifying.
See? I told you birds were creepy. No one ever listens to me.
So if you like the scary (but not gross) stuff The Birds is good reading.
Although you might want to reconsider that bird feeder.
October 7, 2012
Review: Little Bad Wolf and Red Riding Hood by Bruce Lansky and Timothy Tocher
Little Bad Wolf and Red Riding Hood by Timothy TocherMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
Hi Everyone.
Well this week we’re moving from Mysteries (don’t worry they’ll be back) over to the Tall Tales, or in this case, fairy tales.
There is a popular trend in books with the retelling of fairy tales. It’s been around for a while, are you old enough to remember the Fractured Fairy Tales from the original Bullwinkle and Rocky Show? If you not just a do an internet search, they were really fun. The fun is still around although others take it really seriously. The good guys are the bad guys, the bad guys are really good guys or at least they had a good reason for being bad so that counts as being a good guy, the good guys and bad guys are zombies…ZOMBIES?!
Zombies? Really? Fairy tales weren’t creepy enough in the first place, with evil queens wanting to eat princesses’ hearts, granny eating wolves, giants grinding bones to make their bread and such that they had to go to zombies? On second thought, maybe that isn’t such a big leap. Fairy tales aren’t exactly Disney in their original forms.
Still new entry of the list of the things I do not do, I do not do zombies! Creepy is one thing, gross is quite another. Sorry zombie lovers.
Zombies, brrr.
Moving on this particular fairy tale retelling is a sample story called Little Bad Wolf and Red Riding Hood by Bruce Lansky and Timothy Tocher.
In this version of Little Red Riding Hood we have L.B. (short for Little Bad) Wolf trying to locate his missing father Big Bad Wolf. His mother doesn’t want him to go after his father, having had relatives who had issues with Three Little Pigs and a boy named Peter, but like all youngsters L.B. ignores his mother and is off to track his father down. Kids, they know everything. He runs into a little girl who turns out to have been the last person to see his father. She’s called Red Riding Hood, so named due to her mother taking advantage of a fabric sale and being determined to use every scrap of the yardage, much to her daughter’s dismay. Who know fabric sales could be so ruinous to a child’s self-esteem? Anyway Big Bad apparently went off to Red’s granny’s house and now Red is taking goodies to granny every day. L.B., after some negotiation, takes Red’s place, and her goodies, and is off to granny’s to see what has become of his errant father.
SPOILER: No grannies or girls wearing unfortunate red clothing are eaten during the course of this story! And there are no Zombies either, which is just as well as I don’t do zombies. Oh right, I already covered that.
Anyway it’s a fun little story, especially the 1, 2 Thousand (read the book if you want to know what it means). Also being a sample book it gives you the idea of what the full book New Fangled Fairy Tales is about, where other fairy tale classics get the same humorous treatment.
I liked it and maybe you will too.
Unless you were expecting zombies.
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