Samantha Sotto Yambao's Blog, page 5

Medieval Torture, Bunny Sacrifices, and Writing Rituals

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I’m back! Sort of. Okay, okay. Not really. I’m still slaving away in the writing grave, er, cave, but I thought I’d pop in to let you guys know that I’m still alive.

I’m also here to do a post that was requested over on my Facebook page. Some of you wanted to know what my writing rituals were like. Your wish is my command.

My day starts at 5:00 AM. Ah yes, just one of the many joys of motherhood. Amidst the chaos of getting the kiddos out of bed and ready for school, the  little writing wheels start to turn in my head. S-L-O-W-L-Y.

Once the house quiets down, the ingestion of copious amounts of magic writing juice begins.

I then move on to medieval torture. I believe in some cultures this is called “exercise.” I might be wrong.

Whatever it’s called, it’s essential to the day’s writing. Agatha Christie once said: “The best time for planning a book is while you’re doing the dishes. ” I couldn’t agree more. In my case, I ditch dishes for cardio and crunches. There’s nothing quite like plotting out how to make your characters’ lives miserable while you’re dripping in sweat.

After a quick shower, it’s time to bust out the good ol’ notebook. This is where I jot down any writing ideas I’ve had before going to sleep. Most of the time, what seemed like a brilliant idea the night before looks like *bleep* in the morning. Oh, well.

8AM: Ready, get set, write!

Once I’ve hit the halfway point of my word goal for the day, I treat myself to my YouTube fix. I am ADDICTED to watching vlogs. Stalker, much?

More magic writing juice. But since I don’t want to die of a heart attack any time soon, I switch to decaf.

Cute graham bunny sacrifices are made to the writing gods.

Slurp. Slurp. Munch. Munch. Type. Type.

Proper tea break. Current fave: Oolong tea.

Type. Type. Type. SAVE. CLOSE FILE. Email to hubby and mom.

Writing goal guilty pleasure reward. (Oh, Lindsay…)

LATHER. RINSE. REPEAT.

Would You Read A Book Called “Master of the Universe?”

 

 

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

 

Or would it? The rule may apply to flowers but I’m not that sure about books. I have to wonder if “Twilight” would have become a monster hit if it had been published under its original title “Forks” and if “Fifty Shades of Grey” would have turned into a bestseller if E.L. James had stuck with “Master of the Universe?”

All together now..."By the power of Gray Skull..."

The classics have had their share of name swaps as well. Do you think the switches were for the better?

1. George Orwell – “The Last Man in Europe” turned into…”1984.”

2. Bram Stoker – “The Dead Un-Dead” became…”Dracula”

3. Margaret Mitchell – “Tomorrow is Another Day” switched to…”Gone with the Wind.”

4. William Faulkner – “Twilight” was swapped to…”"The Sound and the Fury.”

5. John Steinbeck – “Something That Happened” was exchanged for…”Of Mice and Men.”

6. Jane Austen’s father –  ”First Impressions” became…”Pride and Prejudice.”

7.  Leo Tolstoy – “All’s Well that Ends Well” was traded for…”War and Peace.”

8. F Scott Fitzgerald – “Trimalchio on West Egg” was tossed in favor of…”The Great Gatsby.”

How about you? Do you judge a book by its title?

(Trivia: Before Ever After changed titles TWICE — names that I’m taking with me to the grave )

 

 

 

Missing Game of Thrones?

 

 

Something to tide you over until the next season…

 

 

And yes, this counts as a blog post.

 

Great Book, Bad Review Quiz!

Welcome to Quiz Night, gang! *Offers beer and peanuts*

Tonight’s quiz topic is…Bad Reviews. Yup, you heard right. Bad Reviews. Writer’s Kryptonite. Curse-You-Google-Alerts-Moments.

Ow.

  “From my close observation of writers…they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review.” 

-Isaac Asimov

“A bad review is like baking a cake with all the best ingredients and having someone sit on it.” 

- Danielle Steel

I won’t lie. BAD. REVIEWS. SUCK.  Unfortunately, there’s no avoiding it. If you’re a writer, you WILL get a bad review at some point in your career. It’s a law of the universe right alongside gravity.

Noooooooo!

But wait! The good news is…it’s a law of the universe right alongside gravity. It isn’t personal. Getting a bad review does not mean that you’ve been singled out by a highly-trained, black ops book blogger hit squad. It simply means that…well…you’ve gotten a bad review. Congratulations. You are a certified human being! You can’t please everyone. Need proof? Take the quiz!

Through *ahem* extensive research I was able to determine the FIVE BEST BOOKS ever written (Googling “Greatest-books-of-all-time” counts as research, yes? You can find the complete list compiled by TIME  ENTERTAINMENT here.) See if you can match the novels above with the random 1 star Amazon customer reviews I found below. (Note: I edited out parts of the reviews due to length considerations. Everything – including the headings – are direct quotes.)

A) “THE BIG SNOOZER”

“Whomever claims this to be a great book needs their head examine or probably has been subjected to a lobotomy. This 900 page of rubbish is no more than a glorified, pompous, shallow soap opera nicely ensconced in a setting I would terrorize and throw rocks at with much enthusiasm. I gave it one star because it makes a much needed bookend on my shelf.”

B) “DULL AND BORING AND INCONCLUSIVE”

“This book seemed to continually go on. It never really came to any important lesson or moral in the entire book. The book was extremely vague, nothing really had a reason for happening it just did it was very disappointing after hearing all the praise that had gone into it.”

C) “GODAWFUL BORE”

“Dear lord this book was awful. One of the very few novels that I have been unable to finish, or indeed even get to half-way. It was just TOO BORING! Before throwing it in the charity bin I skimmed through the rest to see if something, anything, happened that I would be interested in. Nope. As for the much-praised language, maybe it was because I was reading the English translation but nothing about it struck me as being at all out of the ordinary. I see from other reviews that this is a high school text in some countries; had I had to read this dull, blowsy tripe for school I would have been tempted to drop out.”

D) “HORRIBLE”

“You will need a scorecard to keep track of the characters in this one. There must be hundreds, if not thousands. None of them were interesting enough to bother with and I quit the book after three hundred pages of being bored out of my mind. Every few pages, I had to try to remember which character was which as there were so many and many of them were indistinguishable from each other. (The author) writes pretty flat prose. It never soars or goes anywhere. He just describes and reports, as boringly as possible. This type of literature is not going to hold an audience anymore. So many people have the opportunity to live interesting lives nowadays why would they stop to read a novel of this length about a bunch of fictional charaters when they could be spending the time actually LIVING their own lives? It was a real drag.”

D) “BLAH”

“I thought I would like this book after reading the reviews, but I tried to start it and it went NOWHERE! Plus, it was really hard to read. And boring. Ugh. I don’t recommend this book.”

Answers: A) Anna Karenina;  B) The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn ; C) Madame Bovary; D) War and Peace

E) Lolita

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How’d you do? Really? That many? Woooot!

 

 So, dear friends, take heart. The next time you get a bad review, negative blog comment, or get disliked on Facebook, remember – you’re in good company

“I can’t tell you the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.”

— Ed Sheeran

Tea Party!

 

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Why, hello there! You’re just in time for the tea party. Come, sit over here and help yourself to cucumber sandwiches and scones.

One of the best things I’ve discovered in the course of this little writing adventure is the amazing amount of warmth and support one can get from wonderful people you meet in the blogosphere. I’m throwing this little tea party to let you get to know three lovely ladies whom I adore to bits! They all have amazing books out now which I’m sure you’ll love

Meet Kate Evangelista!

Kate Evangelista

When Kate Evangelista was told she had a knack for writing stories, she did the next best thing: entered medical school. After realizing she wasn’t going to be the next Doogie Howser, M.D., Kate wandered into the Literature department of her university and never looked back. Today, she is in possession of a piece of paper that says to the world she owns a Literature degree. To make matters worse, she took Master’s courses in creative writing. In the end, she realized to be a writer, none of what she had mattered. What really mattered? Writing. Plain and simple, honest to God, sitting in front of her computer, writing. Today, she has four completed Young Adult novels.

At Barinkoff Academy, there’s only one rule: no students on campus after curfew. Phoenix McKay soon finds out why when she is left behind at sunset. A group calling themselves night students threaten to taste her flesh until she is saved by a mysterious, alluring boy. With his pale skin, dark eyes, and mesmerizing voice, Demitri is both irresistible and impenetrable. He warns her to stay away from his dangerous world of flesh eaters. Unfortunately, the gorgeous and playful Luka has other plans.

When Phoenix is caught between her physical and her emotional attraction, she becomes the keeper of a deadly secret that will rock the foundations of an ancient civilization living beneath Barinkoff Academy. Phoenix doesn’t realize until it is too late that the closer she gets to both Demitri and Luka the more she is plunging them all into a centuries old feud.

Get to know more about Kate Evangelista and watch TASTE’s A-MAZING BOOK TRAILER here.

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Meet Tina L. Hook!

Tina L. Hook

Tina L. Hook grew up in Orlando, Florida where she earned a Bachelor of Liberal Arts from Rollins College. After spending her early career in Boca Raton, Florida, she eventually settled into small town life with her husband and two cats. When she is not daydreaming over a blinking cursor, she is blogging at GirlwithaNewLife.com. Enchanted by Starlight is her first novel.

While they don’t yet know it, Grace, Skylar and Alina are connected by destiny. When an enchanted comet crosses the night sky to the find them, their ordinary lives take a wanton detour. The most secret ambition of each woman ignites, turning each down a powerful but dangerous path.

Grace, emerging from her dejected childhood, develops the power to make men fall in love with her. Fleeing the confines of her impoverished past, Skylar leaves everything behind to ascend the social ladder and pursue the one thing she has always longed for: status. At a loss for any dreams of her own, Alina covets the power to unravel; she seeks revenge. Crashing into and away from each other in a cycle of envy, deception and love lost, each woman is left to look deeper into her own heart. The real miracle, as it turns out, is not what it seems.

Get to know more about Tina L. Hook and read SAMPLE PAGES of ENCHANTED BY STARLIGHT here.

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Meet C.M. Keller!

C.M. Keller

C. M. Keller is an award winning novelist and the author of SCREWING UP TIME. She loves old movies and poison rings. In her spare time, she searches for that elusive unicorn horn. She’s hard at work on her next YA novel, the second book in Mark and Miranda’s story.

Mark Montgomery is a slacker content with his life. He’s a senior at New Haven Prep, has a great friend, and after graduation he’ll get a brand new sports car from his parents, assuming he stays out of trouble. Then, she comes into his life—Miranda with her I-just-escaped-from-a-Renaissance-Fair clothing. Only, she hasn’t. She has come from Bodiam Castle in the Middle Ages and demands a secret ingredient and a book of recipes for traveling through the treacherous colors of time. Although Mark has never even heard of either before, he must find them, or Miranda will die. To save her, Mark must break into a psych hospital to visit his grandfather who once tried to kill him, pass through the colors of time, take on a medieval alchemist, prevent Miranda’s marriage to a two-timing baron, and keep it all hidden from his parents. The sports car is definitely in trouble.

Get to know more about C.M. Keller and read SAMPLE PAGES of SCREWING UP TIME here.

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credit *hands out party favors*

*Hands out party favors* Thanks for joining the party, guys!

If you’ve read any of the books in this post, I’d love to know what you think of them

Happy weekend, campers!

Downton Abbey, Matthew Crawley, A Cocktail Party, and a Panic Attack

 

My equation for a perfect evening is simple:

Downton Abbey + Rattiest pajamas + Hubby + Wine + Cheese + Dried figs/apricots + Chocolate = BLISS

This, however, would NOT be the best equation for the perfect blog post. While I do think that Downton’s  ”cousin Matthew” *swoons* would be a hit, I don’t think you’d enjoy seeing me in a shirt that has a larger hole to cloth ratio. Luckily, I have another kind of evening to share with you.

I got invited to Mega Magazine’s “Most Beautiful” Cocktail Party — and YOU are plus my one

Confession: Cocktail parties give me panic attacks. I do not have the “mingle” gene. In fact, I have come up with an entire volume of creative excuses (Ebook and paperback edition available on Amazon soon) to wiggle my way out of events that involve heels and lipstick. I could not, however, bring myself to say no to the lovely ladies over at Mega Magazine when they invited me to their event – even if I knew that it meant that I would be “presented” to the audience as part of the magazine’s “Most Beautiful” list. *cue heart attack* But I figured that with you by my side, I’d manage to survive. Are you ready? *Downs Red Bull* Let’s go!

The only thing worse than seeing an eight by eleven inch photo of yourself in a magazine is...seeing a Shrek-size version of the photo on a LED screen.

I guess I should stop hiding behind this plant now, huh?

Maybe I can just stand here and pretend that I'm one of those draped tables.

Okay, okay. I'll mingle, I'll mingle. *Gulp*

Breathe, Sam, breathe.

Thought balloon: Lord, HELP ME.

Ah, a friendly face! Yay! It was good to learn that I wasn't the only one dreading to be "presented." Thanks, Angel!

Showtime!

Let's play "Spot the hobbit!" Note to self: bring a stool when standing next to models.

 Phew! We made it! I think that deserves a “cousin Matthew” reward, don’t you?

Europe, Free Books, and Cleopatra

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*Sweeps away tumbleweeds*

Howdy, all! I know It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. I was swallowed by the Blog Slayer – also known as Summer Vacation (yup, it’s summer on my little island.). When I’m not driving the kiddos to piano, violin, drum, futsal or hiphop dance class, the little darlings have me corralled in Jenga blocks and Monopoly plastic hotels. But before my internment in Board Game Land, we did manage to do some travelling.

We ate our way through Europe (Paris, Normandy, Nice, Eze, Monaco, Barcelona, Madrid, Venice, Florence, Naples, and *pant* *pant* Rome!) and showed the kids some of the settings in Before Ever After. (I’ve posted TONS of photos from the trip on Facebook if you’re interested in pasta/pizza/gelato-hopping with me. Ten bonus points if you can recognize the places from the book and a gazillion points to Gryffindor if you can find Max’s house in Herculaneum )

Here are some of the…um…highlights from the trip…

Best. Pizza. Ever. (Da Michele, Naples)

And for dessert…

So you see, I’ve been really, er, busy. If you need me, I’ll be on the stepper.. for the rest of my life. I hope you forgive me for my long absence and accept my pizza peace offering. But if you need a little more convincing, I come bearing FREE BOOKS…

WIN A COPY OF BEFORE EVER AFTER ON GOODREADS!

Check out GOODREADS to find out how you can win!

(Psst…the US TRADE PAPER BACK EDITION of Before Ever After will be released on May 29!)

And if free books still aren’t enough to do the trick, I’m hoping this next offering will win me a full pardon. Try not to laugh too loud.

I present to you…me…in all my Cleopatra splendor for Mega Magazine’s Twenty Most Beautiful edition (the theme was gold and royalty)… *dies*

You can also find me in Town and Country (Philippine edition) this May but I think I’ll keep that photo under wraps. For now. I’ve sacrificed enough dignity for one day.

The Great Green Eggs and Ham Eggsperiment #4 : Surf’s Up!

Hey, guys! Welcome to the fourth installment of The Great Green Eggs and Ham Eggsperiment where I share the new things I’ve tried during the week. This week, I’m cheating. This isn’t the first time I’ve surfed  (the last and ONLY time I surfed prior to this was a year ago) but it is the first time I’m daring to post photos of  myself looking like a beached whale in all my post-holiday blubber glory.

Are you ready? Try not to scratch your eyes out.

Surfing is a lot like writing. Well…um…okay – no, it’s not – but since I haven’t posted anything about writing in a loooong time, I figured that I’d give the analogy a go.

Like surfing, writing requires patience. It is a waiting game. You wait for ideas to blossom, for inspiration to strike, and for coffee to brew.

Now you see me...

Sometimes you will catch a wave.

Now you don't.

Sometimes you will wipeout.

Half of the work in writing is about picking yourself up.

It helps to keep your eye on the shore…

…and to enjoy the ride.

***ANALOGY STOPS HERE.***

PROUD MAMA PHOTOS COMING UP.

My 9 y.o.got into the action too but daddy did not have the camera ready when he was finally able to stand. Oh, well. Next time.

Look at what washed ashore! The pink shark took her first surfing lesson that weekend

All good things must come to an end.

But maybe there’s time for just one more wave…

*** WRITING CAVE ALERT***

I have a March 1 deadline for my second novel and I will need to go on a blogging break until then. Hope you catch some great waves while I’m gone. See you soon!

The Great Green Eggs and Ham Eggsperiment #4 : Surf's Up!

Hey, guys! Welcome to the fourth installment of The Great Green Eggs and Ham Eggsperiment where I share the new things I've tried during the week. This week, I'm cheating. This isn't the first time I've surfed  (the last and ONLY time I surfed prior to this was a year ago) but it is the first time I'm daring to post photos of  myself looking like a beached whale in all my post-holiday blubber glory.

Are you ready? Try not to scratch your eyes out.

Surfing is a lot like writing. Well…um…okay – no, it's not – but since I haven't posted anything about writing in a loooong time, I figured that I'd give the analogy a go.

Like surfing, writing requires patience. It is a waiting game. You wait for ideas to blossom, for inspiration to strike, and for coffee to brew.

Now you see me...

Sometimes you will catch a wave.

Now you don't.

Sometimes you will wipeout.

Half of the work in writing is about picking yourself up.

It helps to keep your eye on the shore…

…and to enjoy the ride.

***ANALOGY STOPS HERE.***

PROUD MAMA PHOTOS COMING UP.

My 9 y.o.got into the action too but daddy did not have the camera ready when he was finally able to stand. Oh, well. Next time.

Look at what washed ashore! The pink shark took her first surfing lesson that weekend

All good things must come to an end.

But maybe there's time for just one more wave…

*** WRITING CAVE ALERT***

I have a March 1 deadline for my second novel and I will need to go on a blogging break until then. Hope you catch some great waves while I'm gone. See you soon!

The Great Green Eggs and Ham Eggsperiment Episode 3 (a.k.a. the only blog post where you will find Daniel Craig, Crickets, Bikes, and Tigers on the same page.)

Happy New Year, guys! Hope your year is off to a good start! Mine has so far involved a bout with stomach flu, a mouth sore, an exploding blowdryer, and a mouse in the bathroom. But hey, I'm not complaining. I'm still certainly better off than the mouse. May he rest in pieces.

Before we get to the first Green Eggs and Ham Eggsperiment of the year, I thought I'd give a little new year's treat to the twenty people who find my blog each day by typing in "How old is Daniel Craig?"

The answer is…

Per IMDB, his birthday is March 2, 1968.

You're welcome. (And if you'd like to check out a post that doesn't tell you his age but does feature a sexy photo of him, click here.)

Now where was I? Ah, yes. Green Eggs. But before we get to that, I thought you might like to join me on a little road trip…

One of the resolutions we made as a family this year was to be more active and go on more adventures together.

 And what adventure would be complete without a bowl of crispy crickets? We drove two and a half hours to find the best place to have them. The kiddos' verdict? "They taste like chips."

It took another hour to get to our destination.

Welcome to winter — tropics style.

In case my agent reads this and thinks that I haven't been busting my *bleep* off revising my second novel…

I spent most of the trip holed up here while I tamed the beast, er, manuscript.

Gentler beasts kept the kiddos busy at the Tiger Safari while I was in my writing cave.

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INSERT CLEVER SEGUE TO THE GREAT GREEN EGGS AND HAM EGGSPERIMENT HERE.

As you know, this next chapter of the blog is all about trying new things.

For experiment number 3, I recruited my family.

The last time I went biking was sometime after the thawing of the ice age and so I figured that hopping on a bike counted as something new.

Plus, we've never biked as a family. Sad, but true. It's my fault. I know how to bike – I'm just horrible at braking.

The kiddos quickly left me in the dust.

The hubby got me to try my luck on the trail. He led the way. This is how our conversation went.

Hubby: Use the front wheel brake here.

Me: The what?

Hubby: The brake!

Me: What?

Hubby: The brake!

Me: *thud*

Hubby: Sam?! Sam?!

 I'm okay… I'm okay.

Moral of the story: A family that bikes together…

…gets to eat Pannize together afterwards!

If you haven't tried Pannize yet, you're MISSING OUT.

The theory is that if you bury your Pannize strip in enough baby arugula and alfalfa sprouts, your tummy won't know you're eating pizza.

Until the next experiment, Bon Apetit!