Kate Genet's Blog, page 2

Don’t worry, honey.

Don’t worry honey,

so do we.

Poem in a moment

Hmm. Thinking this one might need some more work. Let me get back to you with version two…

Summer fun!

Perfectly organised and perfectly independent, Mabel and Jo were set for holidaying in their own unique and quirky style.

Shine On.

Gay the wholesome way.

Sounds so healthy and wholesome!

Fridge poetry.

– I’ve always wanted to do this. It’s quite a challenge and I already think I’ll need another set of words. This one doesn’t have the word ‘us’, for heaven’s sakes! It’s the Poet’s Set, so I will get the basic set too, and see what we can come up with. I love the challenge of it, of having to be flexible with phrasing, and really think about what you want to say, and how it can be said in different ways. Certainly stops you being precious about it all.

Let’s go places.

Don’t worry darling. We have a fast car. They’ll never catch us.

The plumpness of a pigeon.

Dear kereru,
how is it your chest is so large
and your head so small?

(The kereru is our native woodpigeon here in NZ and is quite a large bird, – except for its head. It is however, rather a wonderful sort of bird, and we are lucky enough to have some of their favourite food in our new garden, and thus are visited by a few hungry fellows almost every day).

All I See Is You

By Lily Hammond – first chapter first look

Finally, we have a new Lily Hammond historical romance coming up for you to enjoy – in fact, we have more than one this year, with the long-awaited sequel to The Way Home also coming out this year.

But before that – here is the first look at All I See Is You, a lush and almost epic love story set in Dunedin, NZ, in 1932. Read, enjoy, and if you haven’t signed up for our newsletter yet, pop your email into the form at the end, and you’ll be the first to know when the book comes out – especially helpful if your preference is to read on something other than the Kindle.

All I See Is You







Chapter One

Someone had left a newspaper behind. Eliza inched
closer to it and touched it with the tip of a finger. It was folded, columns of
print tightly packed on the page. She leaned over the yellowed tablecloth to
peer at it. The ink was smudged, and a corner of the page had been scrunched by
an angry hand. Eliza imagined it had been an angry hand that had done the
damage – how else would such a procession of cramped words
make anyone feel?

She swallowed, her throat dry. Then tried breathing
slow in through her nose, pursing her lips to blow out the breath, just the way
her grandmother had taught her when she was a child grown frustrated with the
world incomprehensible and obtuse around her.

If only her
grandmother was here now. But she had died years ago. Eliza wasn’t sure how many years – not because she couldn’t
count, because she could, she knew her numbers. But because often inside her
head time blurred together, the days bumping up against each other without
order or reason.

She touched the
newsprint with her finger and left a sweaty print behind. Snatching back her
hand she rubbed palm and fingers on her skirt.

But the paper sat
there on the table, the reason why she’d chosen this
seat, or at least, one of the reasons, and Eliza huffed out a breath again,
knowing it held the information she needed. She tried again. Tugged the paper
towards herself sitting tucked against the wall where she felt safest, barely
noticeable.

Her mouth was
parched. Staring down at the paper, she groped out a hand for the teacup. There
was a mouthful of cold tea left and she gulped at it. The cup clattered against
the saucer when she put it back down and she hunched tighter at the noise.

If only her mother
was here. But like her grandmother, her mother was no longer of this world but had
moved on towards the next. The ship’s captain had been
very solemn about that, standing on the deck of the ship, a book with pages
that rustled like onion skins in the breeze clasped in his hands. Her mother had
lain on the planked decking at their feet, bound in a sheet, and once the
Captain had stopped his talking, he’d made some sort of gesture, and some of
the sailors had stepped forward, hefted her mother between them, and tipped her
overboard.

Eliza had shoved a
hand over her mouth then, although whether to claw out a scream or hold one in,
she still didn’t know. But she’d
leaned over the railing, fingers of one hand hooked around it and she’d watched
as her mother, a thick white slug in the sheet, drifted from view, the salt
water washing over her, pulling her down into green depths the colour of moss.

‘You having anything else?’

The voice jarred
her back from the side of the boat, and she jumped in her chair, twisting
around to see a grubby apron over a dark cotton skirt, the weave heavy and
uneven. The shoes beneath were of cracked brown leather.

‘Only you can’t sit here if you’re not having anything
more. We don’t allow loitering.’

Eliza didn’t know what loitering was, but she knew the tone, and
she understood the rest of the words. She wasn’t stupid.

The brown shoe
tapped on the floor.

Eliza thought of
the coins in her little purse. She’d felt rich when
she’d got off the boat, the city blooming around her in a rich cacophony of
noise and smells and blessedly steady land. She had her suitcase and her
mother’s, and her mother’s gold wedding ring, taken from her hand by one of the
other ladies on board and pressed into Eliza’s with a piercing gaze. You keep
this, the lady had said, and Eliza had nodded dumbly and closed her fingers
over it.

It was on a thread
of cotton around her neck. She wanted to reach up and press her fingers to the
circle of thin, dull gold under her blouse, but she resisted.

Instead, risking a
glance at the waitress’s face, Eliza
nodded, and pointed to the teacup.

The woman in the apron and cracked leather shoes had thick eyebrows, and she folded them down at Eliza in a frown.

‘Another pot of tea, then?’

Eliza creased her
mouth into a smile and nodded. Shoving her hand into her deepest pocket, she
snatched out her purse and snapped it open, digging for one of the unfamiliar
coins. She put one of them on the table and slid it towards the woman. There
was a smudge of ink on her finger and she tucked it back into her lap before
the woman could see.

Opening her mouth, Eliza
worked her throat. No words came out. They never did, and she subsided into
another smile instead and stared back at the tablecloth.

There was a slight
pause, then the coin was plucked up from the table and with a clatter, the
teapot, and the waitress disappeared. Eliza breathed out then in again, her
chest expanding in sudden pride.

She’d made the right decision. There was the newspaper.

This one didn’t have any pictures, or not on the page to which it
was folded. Eliza reached out with both hands and pressed them against the
newsprint, made brave by the order of more tea, and smoothed out the scrunched
page. She squinted at the columns of words.

She liked the
papers with pictures. They had had those at home sometimes and she would sit at
the table and leaf through the pages after her mother was done with them. It
would be after work, with her hands red and raw from the laundry, her back and
feet aching from standing all day over the copper vats, but the sun would be
slanting its last through the window and there would be a hot cup of tea and a
slice of bread, and the pictures were always interesting. Some of them were
even funny and she would bark out a wheeze that was a laugh and her mother
would pinch her shoulder as she walked past and laugh with her for a moment. If
her mother was in a particularly good mood, she would tell Eliza the story that
went with the pictures and Eliza would laugh some more.

But that was then.
The words swam before Eliza’s eyes, black
squiggles that marched across the page, refusing to stay still, never
coalescing into some order than she could discern and translate. She gritted
her teeth and narrowed her eyes further, looking desperately for something she
could recognise.

There were no words
she could read. She didn’t know why the words
made no sense to her as soon as they were written down. Or why they refused to
make it past her throat. It had always been like that, or so her mother had
told her. There’d been a doctor once, when she was little, who had opened her
mouth and peered about, holding down her tongue and making tsk tsk noises as he
squinted at her insides. He’d moved onto her eyes and ears after that, which
made her confused – there was nothing wrong with those. She could see, she
could hear. She just couldn’t speak.

Eliza looked at the
newspaper. Perhaps, after all, there was something wrong with her eyes, for
they could not make head nor tail of the words on the paper.

The waitress came
back with the fresh pot of tea and set it down on the table above the newspaper.

Eliza struggled
around her thick tongue, wanting to say thank you. She bowed her head instead in
gratitude.

The waitress paused
in her turn away from the table. She jabbed a hand at the tiny rows of things Eliza
knew were words and said something that made Eliza melt in sudden gratitude.

‘You looking for work?’

Light-headed, Eliza
nodded vigorously. The waitress removed her finger from the paper and Eliza
pointed at it instead, then glanced up at the woman, who was young, despite the
thick eyebrows, her eyes a muddy brown under them.

‘You won’t find any.’

Eliza blinked at
her.

The skin around the
eyes was sallow, as though the waitress didn’t get quite enough sleep, or good food. Eliza moved
her hand and touched her own face unconsciously. It had stared back at her,
pale and drawn, from the cracked mirror over the sink in the bathroom this
morning. When she touched it, the skin felt hot and papery. She thought again
of the dwindling account of coins in her purse.

Communicating took
concentration. The sounds – the words – in her head never made it as far as her
tongue. Sometimes she got lost in the swirl of them inside her head.
Swallowing, she put a finger to the paper again, crumpling her eyebrows at the
waitress with the cracked leather shoes and the tired face.

The waitress stared
at her a moment. ‘Something wrong
with you?’ she asked.

Eliza dropped her
eyes, feeling her face relax into slack humiliation. She wanted to shake her
head, say no, but of course, the woman was right. There was something wrong
with her.

She couldn’t read, or write, or even talk. The only real conversations
she ever had were inside her head, which was a place that couldn’t always be
relied on. Things got crowded in there sometimes, and then she would go for a
time not knowing where she was.

If only she could
talk. If she could open her mouth and have strings of words flow out the way
they were supposed to, like a sparrow, like the bird that was the other part of
her name. Eliza Sparrow. Then, if they could do that, things wouldn’t get stoppered up inside, and she could breathe
properly. She was sure if she could talk then things wouldn’t always hurt so
much.

‘You an imbecile, or something?’

The waitress’s eyebrows were tented over her muddy eyes, her whole
face dubious, ready to grow twisted in disgust and turn away. Eliza shook her
head vigorously.

‘So, what’s wrong with you then?’

Eliza spread her
hands and shrugged, touched cold fingers to her throat, shook her head, and
found the smile she tried to use in these conversations. Then she turned and
pointed to the newspaper, tapping the squiggles of print with a hopeful glance
at the waitress.

The woman looked at her for a long moment, then glanced back at the counter, blinking.

‘Don’t know how you haven’t heard,’ she said, deciding to talk.

Eliza nodded along with the words, trying to encourage her.

‘But there isn’t anyone who has jobs going at the moment. People are being laid off all over town, for that matter. It’s the Depression.’

Eliza frowned over
the word. She recognised it as the name of something according to the brooding
way the waitress had pronounced it, but she didn’t understand what. She worked her mouth. Nothing came
out.

‘The Depression,’ the waitress repeated with a damp
shake of her head. ‘I’m lucky to have a job, even though it doesn’t pay much.
Hardly anything, really, but more than lots of men and women at the moment.’
She gazed over Eliza’s head out of the window and her eyebrows rippled across
her forehead like twin caterpillars. ‘There’s no money around. I don’t know all
the whys and wherefores, just that you’re not going to find a job – especially
not if you can’t talk.’ She frowned back at Eliza. ‘You’re best to go back
where you came from, get your family to look after you.’ She nodded at the
newspaper. ‘There’s nothing in there for anyone these days. People are going
hungry now, all over the country.’

With that, she
turned away, walking back across the café, her leather shoes thudding on the bare floorboards.

Eliza sat back to
stare at the table, at the empty cup, the full pot with steam twisting up from
the spout, and the newspaper sitting hatefully there in front of her. She put
out a hand and pushed it away, closing her eyes as she did so. It clattered
against the cup and she jumped.

Her hands shook as
she poured the tea. She didn’t really want it,
wanted to get up and leave the grimy little café but she’d paid for it and
right now, the way things were, it would be bordering on a crime not to drink
it down once she’d handed over good money for it.

So she sat and
sipped the tea, staring out the window. It was bright out there, summer at the
wrong time of year. When she’d left England
with her mother, boarding the boat that would take them to find her father at
the end of the journey, it had been winter and bitterly cold. Her small
suitcase was full of winter clothes, such as she had, and she’d not worn her
coat once since setting foot on this upside-down land.

The seat was hard
under her and she squirmed in it. Her bones had grown closer to the skin on the
trip over. She had a feeling she’d known already
what the waitress had just told her. It was why they’d left home after all, her
and her mother. They’d lost their jobs at the laundry, and her mother had come
home from trying to find them other work only to sit at the table staring out
at nothing. She’d told Eliza there were no jobs for them.

She’d told Eliza they needed to use the little they’d saved
to go find her father. He’d always said New Zealand would look after them – and
hadn’t he sent money back to them? Not much recently, and nothing in the last
few months, hadn’t even sent a letter, but they had his address, and they had
nothing to lose now, did they?

Eliza had listened
and nodded along, knowing all the while that whatever her mother decided was
what they would do. What could Eliza do otherwise? She couldn’t very well get along on her own.

The tea was gone,
and Eliza put the cup down on the saucer, being very careful with it, feeling
brittle, and somehow still parched even though she’d drunk two small pots of tea.

Pushing the chair
back from the table, Eliza stood up, smoothed her clothes, then let her hand do
what it wanted to, sneaking to her pocket to feel her purse there, then up to
her neck to touch the round outline of the wedding ring. She took a deep
breath, carefully made her mind blank and visited the bathroom, relieved
herself, flushed, and rearranged her clothes. She was wearing a woollen skirt
and it was heavy and old, the fabric sagging at the hem.

She left the café and stepped out into the hot, bright sun.

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