R.M. Strong's Blog, page 6
June 4, 2012
I'd Rather Eat Hospital Food
Much has been said recently about the sorry state of American children and much of the blame has been placed on the food that they eat. Because of this, and because of a family history rampant with adult-onset diabetes and other food-related illnesses, we have taken it upon ourselves to try and eat less processed, corn-syrup-laden foods. We drink a lot of Sierra Mist Natural on those rare occasions we are able to buy pop and eat home-cooked most of the time.
My son is taking swim lessons the next two weeks, and we are, some would say, fortunate enough to have a free lunch program running in the summer set up right next to the municipal pool. Since we get out of lessons right at noon, and it is a 1.5 mile walk home, why not stop and have lunch before we go? Fortunately, we do have have to walk a mile and a half from the pool to home and this helps work off the "nutritious" (though free) lunches (lunches which I could enjoy for the paltry sum of $3.25).
So, just as an example of what school lunch will be able to provide my soon-to-be Kindergartener (and for something to do while he's eating lunch), I will document the next two weeks worth of "lunches."
Day 1:
Foster Farms Corn Dog, (unwashed, and with no way of washing) Apple, (frozen) Fruit Juice (I applaud them for their choice of 100% juice with no corn syrups), "Fancy Ketchup" (fancy, apparently, because it has TWO kinds of corn syrup in it) and chocolate milk (loads of sugar but no corn syrup).
My son ate the apple and drank the milk. We brought the juice home and waited to drink it until it was thawed, the ketchup went straight in the trash, and the corn dog was nibbled at only before being thrown away. We walk by the local hospital on the way home, so I decided to try some cafeteria lunch; I knew that despite hospital food's reputation, I would be able to get a more nutritious lunch. I had a build-your-own salad, got the boy a fruit-and-granola parfait snack, and we shared a bottle of water (which we will refill and freeze and take with us tomorrow). My lunch/Boy's snack $5.60, and everyone's still full five hours later. Tomorrow, I think, I will brown-bag it.
My son is taking swim lessons the next two weeks, and we are, some would say, fortunate enough to have a free lunch program running in the summer set up right next to the municipal pool. Since we get out of lessons right at noon, and it is a 1.5 mile walk home, why not stop and have lunch before we go? Fortunately, we do have have to walk a mile and a half from the pool to home and this helps work off the "nutritious" (though free) lunches (lunches which I could enjoy for the paltry sum of $3.25).
So, just as an example of what school lunch will be able to provide my soon-to-be Kindergartener (and for something to do while he's eating lunch), I will document the next two weeks worth of "lunches."
Day 1:
Foster Farms Corn Dog, (unwashed, and with no way of washing) Apple, (frozen) Fruit Juice (I applaud them for their choice of 100% juice with no corn syrups), "Fancy Ketchup" (fancy, apparently, because it has TWO kinds of corn syrup in it) and chocolate milk (loads of sugar but no corn syrup). My son ate the apple and drank the milk. We brought the juice home and waited to drink it until it was thawed, the ketchup went straight in the trash, and the corn dog was nibbled at only before being thrown away. We walk by the local hospital on the way home, so I decided to try some cafeteria lunch; I knew that despite hospital food's reputation, I would be able to get a more nutritious lunch. I had a build-your-own salad, got the boy a fruit-and-granola parfait snack, and we shared a bottle of water (which we will refill and freeze and take with us tomorrow). My lunch/Boy's snack $5.60, and everyone's still full five hours later. Tomorrow, I think, I will brown-bag it.
May 28, 2012
"Is That an Ostrich?"
Um no. That, my friend, is a 4-week-old chicken. "Lady Buffy Peckington," to be precise.Gandalf once said, "You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month and yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you." He could have been talking about chickens just as readily as hobbits.
Backyard chickens are the new "it" craze. With so much in the news lately about salmonella outbreaks and conditions of "factory" chickens, more and more people are considering the more humane (and cheaper) option of getting eggs from their own back yard. No longer relegated to being pets of "the crazy lady down the street," urban chickens are now legally permissible in many very urban areas of the United States, including cities like Atlanta, GA; Houston, Texas; Seattle, Wash.; Boston, Mass.; and even L.A. and New York!
My Valentine's Day present from my husband this year was a flock of 10 chickens. Our city voted last year to allow for urban chickens, and I had been planning on getting the max ever since. Since April--at about six weeks--the girls have been free ranging outside, eating grass, bugs, and kitchen scraps.
From Day 1, they have amazed. It is mind-boggling how much information is contained in those itty-bitty heads, even at a day old. Because of supply issues (and then untimely deaths), we got our current flock in stages. Our oldest girls, though, had no one to teach them how to be chickens. We picked them up when they were a day old from the hatchery. And yet, no one to teach them that those small crumbs in the dish are food. No one to show them how to drink without drowning. No one to teach them how to take a dirt bath or preen their feathers. No mama taught them how to be good mothers in return.
When our oldest girls were two weeks old, we got the second set. We were told by all the books and the people at the hatchery to expect fights over dominance (establishing their pecking order), but at the first peep, our older girls fell in love with the babies and taught them everything they knew. The younger girls learned how to be chickens much faster than the older set.
As the girls grew, they began to show different personalities. We have a mama (who, at 6 weeks, adopted two chicks to replace two who were got by predators), the baby, the one who thinks she's people (Buffy, pictured above, who is a "lap chicken"), the leader, the "enforcer" (who makes sure the leader's orders are carried out), the dumb blonde, the stuck-up pretty one, the sidekick, the timid one, and the bully--whose favorite thing is to go after our cat if she feels he's getting to close.
Despite their small "bird brains," they all know their names, recognize my mother as "the one who brings treats," put themselves to bed at night, what is good to eat in the back yard (which, unfortunately still includes my pea and bean starts) and what isn't, and exactly how far the dog's tie-down will reach.
In a few months, each girl will start laying about one free-range not-quite-organic egg every 26-28 hours--eggs with various shades of shell, from blueish green to brown to white, with dark yellow yolks. But they have already brought so much in the areas of organic insect control, fertilizer, and entertainment that they have already earned their keep.
Is That an Ostrich?
Um no. That, my friend, is a 4-week-old chicken. "Lady Buffy Peckington," to be precise.Gandalf once said, "You can learn all that there is to know about their ways in a month and yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you." He could have been talking about chickens just as readily as hobbits.
Backyard chickens are the new "it" craze. With so much in the news lately about salmonella outbreaks and conditions of "factory" chickens, more and more people are considering the more humane (and cheaper) option of getting eggs from their own back yard. No longer relegated to being pets of "the crazy lady down the street," urban chickens are now legally permissible in many very urban areas of the United States, including cities like Atlanta, GA; Houston, Texas; Seattle, Wash.; Boston, Mass.; and even L.A. and New York!
My Valentine's Day present from my husband this year was a flock of 10 chickens. Our city voted last year to allow for urban chickens, and I had been planning on getting the max ever since. Since April--at about six weeks--the girls have been free ranging outside, eating grass, bugs, and kitchen scraps.
From Day 1, they have amazed. It is mind-boggling how much information is contained in those itty-bitty heads, even at a day old. Because of supply issues (and then untimely deaths), we got our current flock in stages. Our oldest girls, though, had no one to teach them how to be chickens. We picked them up when they were a day old from the hatchery. And yet, no one to teach them that those small crumbs in the dish are food. No one to show them how to drink without drowning. No one to teach them how to take a dirt bath or preen their feathers. No mama taught them how to be good mothers in return.
When our oldest girls were two weeks old, we got the second set. We were told by all the books and the people at the hatchery to expect fights over dominance (establishing their pecking order), but at the first peep, our older girls fell in love with the babies and taught them everything they knew. The younger girls learned how to be chickens much faster than the older set.
As the girls grew, they began to show different personalities. We have a mama (who, at 6 weeks, adopted two chicks to replace two who were got by predators), the baby, the one who thinks she's people (Buffy, pictured above, who is a "lap chicken"), the leader, the "enforcer" (who makes sure the leader's orders are carried out), the dumb blonde, the stuck-up pretty one, the sidekick, the timid one, and the bully--whose favorite thing is to go after our cat if she feels he's getting to close.
Despite their small "bird brains," they all know their names, recognize my mother as "the one who brings treats," put themselves to bed at night, what is good to eat in the back yard (which, unfortunately still includes my pea and bean starts) and what isn't, and exactly how far the dog's tie-down will reach.
In a few months, each girl will start laying about one free-range not-quite-organic egg every 26-28 hours--eggs with various shades of shell, from blueish green to brown to white, with dark yellow yolks. But they have already brought so much in the areas of organic insect control, fertilizer, and entertainment that they have already earned their keep.
April 5, 2012
The Love of Reading
As a writer, it warms my heart to see anyone reading. It doesn't matter which author is doing well--I applauded J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series because it encouraged kids to start reading again--the fact that storytellers or instructors are doing well warms this writer's heart. Whether the story or non-fiction is in paperback, hard cover, or electronic format, Reading, well, is Fundamental.
The UN, however, says that the United States is only tied for 10th when it comes to adult literacy... and that high rank is only "assumed" because of the country's high development and high income level (source). And according to reading.org, only 3% of 8th graders read above their grade level, and only 1 in 3 of the nation's 8th graders rank as "proficient" or greater in reading tests (and that includes the above-mentioned 3%). Lest you think that it is just our middle school students that are dropping the ball, the same study showed that 2 in 5 high school students lack the basic literary skills employers are looking for.
Our world is moving more toward written communication. More and more information is being found online and less and less in books. Most children know how to navigate the computer, smartphones, tablets, and other electronic devices long before they even start school. Kids figure out how to play simple video games long before their parents did. Most of those games, websites, and the like require some kind of reading. So why are literacy rates among our kids so horrible?
While the problem is--like most other problems plaguing our children today--of course, multifaceted, combining issues such as parents with multiple jobs, preschools that are nothing more than daycare, overtaxed classrooms, parents who are poor readers themselves, and other issues, reading is entirely fundamental in every aspect of life in our Western world and there is no reason for only 40% of our high school seniors to be ready for a college-level writing course. Being able to read, and read quickly and well, will be nothing but beneficial to anyone, no matter what the age.
But any kid or adult can learn to read, or read better than they can now. So what should other parents do when their children are struggling with reading? There are programs that help children (even as young as six months or younger) learn to read, but those can be expensive. Libraries, though, are wonderful resources. Find a subject that interests your child (for mine, it was dinosaurs and now Mars) and encourage them to check out books at their reading level (which may or may not be at their grade level). Just like most everything else, practice makes perfect. Most schools make (or at least encourage) students to read for a certain amount of time each day as part of their homework.
Also, let them see you reading. Kids, of course, imitate the actions of the adults around them. If your child has to read for half an hour a day, turn off the TV and computer and read on the couch next to them. If you are a poor reader, this will also help you. Read more than just "fluffy" fiction. Let your kids see you learning something new. Learning doesn't end when you stop going to school. Many children do not like school because it's, well, school, but because reading is difficult. But whether it's for a college class, a job, or a hobby, everyone will have to continue learning after high school, and that will always require at least some degree of reading. Henry Ford said:
When our son was three, he loved video games that were less voice-acted and more text-based. We easily tired of reading the screen--or half the screen before he advanced past a rather important part--so we told him that he could no longer play those video games until he learned how to read, thinking we would get more time to play our games or get other things done for a few years. By the age of four, he had taught himself how to read and was playing his favorite games again. Having some great incentive was just the encouragement he needed to make reading beneficial for him.
Today, he brought home his first Scholastic Book order, which included four Nick Bruel's "Bad Kitty" series, One, Two, Tie Your Shoe, and some science-based space books (he wants to go to Mars when he's a grown up). The first thing he did when we unwrapped the books was open up Bad Kitty Gets a Bath and read the first two chapters.
He will start kindergarten in September.
The UN, however, says that the United States is only tied for 10th when it comes to adult literacy... and that high rank is only "assumed" because of the country's high development and high income level (source). And according to reading.org, only 3% of 8th graders read above their grade level, and only 1 in 3 of the nation's 8th graders rank as "proficient" or greater in reading tests (and that includes the above-mentioned 3%). Lest you think that it is just our middle school students that are dropping the ball, the same study showed that 2 in 5 high school students lack the basic literary skills employers are looking for.
Our world is moving more toward written communication. More and more information is being found online and less and less in books. Most children know how to navigate the computer, smartphones, tablets, and other electronic devices long before they even start school. Kids figure out how to play simple video games long before their parents did. Most of those games, websites, and the like require some kind of reading. So why are literacy rates among our kids so horrible?
While the problem is--like most other problems plaguing our children today--of course, multifaceted, combining issues such as parents with multiple jobs, preschools that are nothing more than daycare, overtaxed classrooms, parents who are poor readers themselves, and other issues, reading is entirely fundamental in every aspect of life in our Western world and there is no reason for only 40% of our high school seniors to be ready for a college-level writing course. Being able to read, and read quickly and well, will be nothing but beneficial to anyone, no matter what the age.
But any kid or adult can learn to read, or read better than they can now. So what should other parents do when their children are struggling with reading? There are programs that help children (even as young as six months or younger) learn to read, but those can be expensive. Libraries, though, are wonderful resources. Find a subject that interests your child (for mine, it was dinosaurs and now Mars) and encourage them to check out books at their reading level (which may or may not be at their grade level). Just like most everything else, practice makes perfect. Most schools make (or at least encourage) students to read for a certain amount of time each day as part of their homework.
Also, let them see you reading. Kids, of course, imitate the actions of the adults around them. If your child has to read for half an hour a day, turn off the TV and computer and read on the couch next to them. If you are a poor reader, this will also help you. Read more than just "fluffy" fiction. Let your kids see you learning something new. Learning doesn't end when you stop going to school. Many children do not like school because it's, well, school, but because reading is difficult. But whether it's for a college class, a job, or a hobby, everyone will have to continue learning after high school, and that will always require at least some degree of reading. Henry Ford said:
My husband and I have been reading "bedtime books" to our son since he was born. Choosing, usually, chapter books (wanting to see pictures would keep him awake), he was exposed to a greater vocabulary than other kids his age. But he showed no interest in learning the alphabet or learning what those funny symbols meant."Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at 20 or 80. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young."
When our son was three, he loved video games that were less voice-acted and more text-based. We easily tired of reading the screen--or half the screen before he advanced past a rather important part--so we told him that he could no longer play those video games until he learned how to read, thinking we would get more time to play our games or get other things done for a few years. By the age of four, he had taught himself how to read and was playing his favorite games again. Having some great incentive was just the encouragement he needed to make reading beneficial for him.
Today, he brought home his first Scholastic Book order, which included four Nick Bruel's "Bad Kitty" series, One, Two, Tie Your Shoe, and some science-based space books (he wants to go to Mars when he's a grown up). The first thing he did when we unwrapped the books was open up Bad Kitty Gets a Bath and read the first two chapters.
He will start kindergarten in September.
March 17, 2012
Maewyn Succat's Legacy
"If I have any worth, it is to live my life for God so as to teach these peoples; even though some of them still look down on me." ~Saint PatrickSt. Patrick is one of my favorite people of all time. For those not familiar with his story, here it is in 8 minutes:
One of the reasons I love Maewyn Succat is because he allowed his experiences to change him. Some say he was the son of a bishop in the church, but even if he wasn't, as a Holy Roman citizen in England, he would have been going to church at least once a day ("No soccer balls in church!"). He could have easily believed that God had abandoned him to a heathen land for no reason. However, just like the biblical Joseph, who (eventually) came to be in authority over his captors, and (eventually) told those who sold him, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)--Patrick came to (eventually) see his slavery as something good. He speaks of it later on as a positive turning point in his life.
Before I was humiliated I was like a stone that lies in deep mud, and he who is mighty came and in his compassion raised me up and exalted me very high and placed me on the top of the wall.
He doesn't call his slavery a punishment, but a "humiliation," something to make him humble. After leaving slavery, he could have very easily left Ireland behind and never returned again. But his love for and trust in God was so strong that he not only entertained the idea when it popped in his head, but felt so compelled to go that he risked being returned to his master whom he abandoned as a runaway slave. He did not allow his bad experiences with the Irish to color his views of of the people.
Maewyn Succat's work with the Irish colored every aspect of their lives, so much that the ancient mythologies of the Celts, not 100 years after his death, told the stories of gods coming to believe in the son of the Most High God.
Whether religious or not, his life is a wonderful example of forgiveness, of "turning the other cheek," and helping those who have wronged you. I only hope that, given the chance, I can show the same grace and fiery determination he showed when the soldiers of Coroticus murdered and enslaved the Irish.
I am Patrick, yes a sinner and indeed untaught; yet I am established here in Ireland where I profess myself bishop. I am certain in my heart that "all that I am," I have received from God. So I live among barbarous tribes, a stranger and exile for the love of God. He himself testifies that this is so. I never would have wanted these harsh words to spill from my mouth; I am not in the habit of speaking so sharply. Yet now I am driven by the zeal of God, Christ's truth has aroused me. I speak out too for love of my neighbors who are my only sons; for them I gave up my home country, my parents and even pushing my own life to the brink of death. Can it be out of the kindness of my heart that I carry out such a labor of mercy on a people who once captured me when they wrecked my father's house and carried off his servants? For by descent I was a freeman, born of a decurion father; yet I have sold this nobility of mine, I am not ashamed, nor do I regret that it might have meant some advantage to others. In short, I am a slave in Christ to this faraway people for the indescribable glory of "everlasting life which is in Jesus Christ our Lord." My chief request is that anyone who is a servant of God be ready and willing, to carry this letter forward; may it never be hidden or stolen by anyone, but rather, may it be read aloud before the whole people — Yes, even when Coroticus himself is present.
May God inspire these men sometime to come to their senses in regard to God again, so that they may repent, however latter day, of their grave crimes, namely homicide against the brothers of the Lord, and that they free these baptized women whom they have taken, so that then they may deserve to live to God and be made whole once more, here, now and for eternity.
One of the reasons I love Maewyn Succat is because he allowed his experiences to change him. Some say he was the son of a bishop in the church, but even if he wasn't, as a Holy Roman citizen in England, he would have been going to church at least once a day ("No soccer balls in church!"). He could have easily believed that God had abandoned him to a heathen land for no reason. However, just like the biblical Joseph, who (eventually) came to be in authority over his captors, and (eventually) told those who sold him, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." (Genesis 50:20)--Patrick came to (eventually) see his slavery as something good. He speaks of it later on as a positive turning point in his life.
Before I was humiliated I was like a stone that lies in deep mud, and he who is mighty came and in his compassion raised me up and exalted me very high and placed me on the top of the wall.
He doesn't call his slavery a punishment, but a "humiliation," something to make him humble. After leaving slavery, he could have very easily left Ireland behind and never returned again. But his love for and trust in God was so strong that he not only entertained the idea when it popped in his head, but felt so compelled to go that he risked being returned to his master whom he abandoned as a runaway slave. He did not allow his bad experiences with the Irish to color his views of of the people.
Maewyn Succat's work with the Irish colored every aspect of their lives, so much that the ancient mythologies of the Celts, not 100 years after his death, told the stories of gods coming to believe in the son of the Most High God.
Whether religious or not, his life is a wonderful example of forgiveness, of "turning the other cheek," and helping those who have wronged you. I only hope that, given the chance, I can show the same grace and fiery determination he showed when the soldiers of Coroticus murdered and enslaved the Irish.
I am Patrick, yes a sinner and indeed untaught; yet I am established here in Ireland where I profess myself bishop. I am certain in my heart that "all that I am," I have received from God. So I live among barbarous tribes, a stranger and exile for the love of God. He himself testifies that this is so. I never would have wanted these harsh words to spill from my mouth; I am not in the habit of speaking so sharply. Yet now I am driven by the zeal of God, Christ's truth has aroused me. I speak out too for love of my neighbors who are my only sons; for them I gave up my home country, my parents and even pushing my own life to the brink of death. Can it be out of the kindness of my heart that I carry out such a labor of mercy on a people who once captured me when they wrecked my father's house and carried off his servants? For by descent I was a freeman, born of a decurion father; yet I have sold this nobility of mine, I am not ashamed, nor do I regret that it might have meant some advantage to others. In short, I am a slave in Christ to this faraway people for the indescribable glory of "everlasting life which is in Jesus Christ our Lord." My chief request is that anyone who is a servant of God be ready and willing, to carry this letter forward; may it never be hidden or stolen by anyone, but rather, may it be read aloud before the whole people — Yes, even when Coroticus himself is present.
May God inspire these men sometime to come to their senses in regard to God again, so that they may repent, however latter day, of their grave crimes, namely homicide against the brothers of the Lord, and that they free these baptized women whom they have taken, so that then they may deserve to live to God and be made whole once more, here, now and for eternity.
February 3, 2012
Bullies... What are they good for?
Bullieshave been around since the beginning of time. We had to deal with bullies, andour parents had their own. There have always been bullies and their prey. Bullyingis also not confined to boys. Girls are getting more and more violent. Wherefemale bullies used to just lay into their classmates psychologically, some arenow turning to violence. With the advent of YouTube and the (supposed) anonymity of the Internet, bullying has now gone viral. Asin our day, today's bullying can cause fear, imagined illnesses, bruises, andtwice as much homework. But where our parents and counselors told us to suck itup and learn to defend ourselves, students today are being encouraged tounderstand the bully. Somebullies are mean because that is the environment in their house—everyone yellsand calls names as their form of communication. Others are looking for someoneto dominate. Some bullies may just be looking for attention. Some have lowself-esteem or are confused about life. Apparently, there are no moregarden-variety jerks anymore. Nowdon't get me wrong—bullying is completely wrong. Other people or animals arenot a good outlet to vent frustration. There are better ways to take out anger,and we need to teach our children this. As more and more pressure is placed ontheir little shoulders earlier and earlier there needs to be an outlet fortheir frustration. Some find outlets in musical instruments, some find it inhanging out with friends, some with writing or art, some turn to comedy, somefind their outlet in making others feel as bad as they do. Bulliesnow have the same arsenal we recognize from our childhood—their fists, theirwords, and their actions. Bullying takes on many familiar forms: shunning,ignoring, name-calling, spreading rumors, hitting. As technology changes, so dothe bully's arsenal: camera phones, social media, and e-mail are used to bully anotherstudent at school. Ifyour child suddenly begins to avoid school, or begins to regress—such aswetting the bed for the first time in years—those are good signs that yourchild may be bullied at school. Speak with your student, encourage them to goto an adult such as a teacher, counselor, bus driver, or playground attendantwhen they are being bullied. Let your child know that it is an almost certaintythat when confronted, a bully will lie to authority and deny the accusations. Ifyour child comes home with visible signs of abuse—bruises or cuts—do notoverreact, but do take pictures. Takethe pictures to the school principal and ask about your child's injuries. Presscharges on the student or his or her parents (depending on your state'sparental responsibility laws) if you have to. Humorcan also be a useful, disarming, tool against a bully. All the great comedianshave said that they started using humor to get out of fights at school. Justmake sure your student knows not to use the humor to make fun of the bully—thatjust makes them mad. Who knows, your child could have a wonderful stand-upcareer ahead of him. What you do not want to do is encourageyour student to go after the bully. Defending himself is good—and I believeevery child, and adult, should know how to defend himself against attack—but going after abully just makes you as bad as him
Almosthalf of all students admit to bullying atleast one child in their school career, so bullying isn't confined to those "bad kids" any longer. So what should you do when you get thecall saying that your child is the bully, rather than the bullied?Don't act in anger. When you get the call from the school, don't go straight toyour child and lay into him or her. Spend some time thinking about what to say,perhaps even write out the main points to make sure you get through everythingyou want covered.Plan to have the conversation where your child feels safe. Go to your child'sfavorite restaurant or have the conversation in your child's room. If your sonis the bully, Dad or another trusted male role model should speak with him. Ifyour daughter is the culprit, Mom or trusted female role model should speakwith her. Do not gang up on your child for this conversation. A familydiscussion can be planned for later, but this conversation should beone-on-one.Set aside a significant block of time to speak with your child, you may need tolet your child think about things. Give your child your full attention. If sheis just looking for attention, it may be your attention she is trying to get.If he is angry, it may be he is angry at you. This should not be a simply,"Don't do it," type of conversation, or a conversation you have in the cargoing to the store. If bullying stems from anger and frustration at a situationthey have no control over, understanding that situation is the first step inmaking changes.Ask questions and then do not interrupt the answers. Let your child say whatshe needs to say. You may learn a lot about your child and her school life. Askquestions such as: How do you think things are going at school and at home? Doyou get along with other kids at school? How do you treat other children? Whatdo you think about being considered a bully? Why do you think you're bullying?What might help you to stop bullying?Don't let your child get away with one-word answers. If you need to, askfollow-up or clarifying questions. "I don't know" or shrugs are not adequateanswers. If you need to, leave a list of questions with your child, and havethem think about the answers.Do not get defensive. If you are the root of your child's frustration, don'tdefend yourself. If your child is angry that you spend more time at work, outwith your friends, with your significant other, with other children, playingwith your toys, etc., than spending time with them, don't defend yourself.Apologize and work on it. Your child is screaming for your attention, give itto him.Revisit the issues more than once. Set out some reasonable goals and rewardsfor those goals. Keep up with your child, make sure that she is meeting thegoals in the time-frame and reward every little baby step forward. Get help if you need it. If you need help speaking with your child, or if yourchild's problems are out of your control, or you suspect he needs mental help,get it. Bullyingis a normal part of growing up, but one that is completely sucky. We cannot, and should not, shelter our childrenfrom every unpleasant experience, but there are, of course, limits to what we should allow. There are bullies in every part of life—fromschool to work to the old folks home. No one can get away from their bully. But,as parents, it is our responsibility to teach the bully how to act properly,and how to teach the bullied the correct outlet for their anger and frustration
January 31, 2012
"Step Outside" a Guest Post by Staci Stallings
It'struly amazing to me how God puts certain understandings in my path. I think I see clearly what He's doing, whatHe's done, and then click a new piece falls in and "Wow!" Sometimes,there just is no other word for it. Ina sermon today, Dr. Lee A. Simpson related the story of Abram. This was a man who God had given a promiseto. God's promise was that Abram wouldbe the father of many nations, but as Abram got older, he looked around, andthis thing that God had promised just was not happening. And Abram began to question God and questionthe promise. It began to look to Abram likeGod just didn't know or understand how things worked down here on Earth. SoAbram went into his tent, and he started praying and explaining to God thatyouth had passed him by. He was nolonger a young man. In fact, he was old,and so was his wife, and this whole father of nations business was just nothappening the way Abram had thought it would when God promised him this. Haveyou been there? I know I have. "God, I thought You were going to use mywriting to touch other people's lives. What's up with that? I feel likeI sit here and I do all of this stuff, and what's it even doing? Is it helping anybody? Because frankly I don't see it. I don't see Your plan. I don't see You in this like I thought Iwould." Then(I love this), God said two words to Abram. "Step outside." Yousee, Abram was in his tent--his own little world. In that tent he was safe. He probably had his bowl right by his favoritemat—you know like that glass you have right by your favorite chair. He probably had all of his littleknick-knacks just so and his schedule down pat. And then God came and said, "Step outside." Stepoutside YOUR comfort zone. Step outsideYOUR plans. Step outside what YOU thinkis possible, and when you do, you will step into MY world. AsAbram came out of the tent of his own limited experiences, his own limitedvision, his own limited perspective, he saw the stars above him, and God said,"Count them." Understandnow, Abram had been used to praying in his tent. He didn't think about what was outside. So the stars were amazing to behold. "Lord, if I cannot count this multitude ofstars." Thelesson then went on that God wanted Abram not to just count the stars that hecould see but also the ones he couldn'tsee. Because the truth is, there multitudesand multitudes of stars that we can't even see to count as well. As Dr. Simpson says, "God is asking you to countthe stars you can see, and the ones you can only imagine…" Ah,that's beautiful. Count the stars youcan see and those you can only imagine. Somy question to you is, are you inside that tent? Are you comfortable where you are in theknowledge that you have, or are you ready to come when God calls you to stepoutside? Whenyou do, I challenge you to count the stars—your blessings, those things God hasput into your life to bring His light and His love to a darkened world throughyou. And then, breathe, and begin toalso count the stars that you cannot see, those that only He can right now. Asyou may know, Abram went on to become Abraham, truly the father of manynations, but it took stepping out of his tent, out of his comfort zone for himto begin to see the world God wanted to give him.So,step outside… You will be amazed at what God has in store for you!Copyright Staci Stallings, 2008
Staci Stallings is a Contemporary Christianauthor and the founder of Grace & Faith Author Connection. The full line of Staci's books, which include Contemporary Romance,Bible Studies, and short story collections can be found at: http://stacistallings.wordpress.com
Her blog is at: http://spiritlightbooks.wordpress.comHere's more about oneof her books..."I absolutely loved this book. I am a sucker for Cowboys inWrangler jeans and boots!" COWBOY by: Staci Stallings
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January 23, 2012
Grey Rainy Days
I love grey rainy days... mostly because they were, more often than not, the only things I would see growing up. I grew up in the Willammette Valley of Western Oregon, a place that includes Eugene, Salem, and Portland. A place where the grass is, literally, always green (except for a few month in the summer) and forests are so thick you could hike all day long and never see the sky. It rains so much that I now joke that I was born with webbed feet and gills.
We moved to Idaho in 2004 and the year in general, and winters especially, became exponentially drier. I came to love the "dry heat" as it was much easier on my joints than the humidity. This winter, especially, up until lat week, had only had negligible precipitation, it was the absolute driest winter I had ever experienced in my 31 years of living.
And I hated it. It was too foreign. I know that many around here in the Treasure Valley (yes, we traded one valley for another) do not appreciate the rain, but I do. Rain is soothing. The grass turns a special shade of green when watered by the rain. Rain gives us all an excuse to stay inside, drink cocoa, and curl up on the couch with a movie or good book.
I know that many of my friends and family still in Salem, Turner, and elsewhere are experiencing too much rain. The campground where I spent most of my summers growing up has water waist-high in places. My uncle's car was parked in a low-land parking lot and was flooded up to the windows. The house we lived in for 18 years, which nearly flooded in 1996, is still situated between two creeks.
To them, I say: Send it all over here. At 2500 feet above sea level instead of under 500, and snow pack and reservoirs low for the lack of snow and rain, we have much less standing water than you.
We moved to Idaho in 2004 and the year in general, and winters especially, became exponentially drier. I came to love the "dry heat" as it was much easier on my joints than the humidity. This winter, especially, up until lat week, had only had negligible precipitation, it was the absolute driest winter I had ever experienced in my 31 years of living.
And I hated it. It was too foreign. I know that many around here in the Treasure Valley (yes, we traded one valley for another) do not appreciate the rain, but I do. Rain is soothing. The grass turns a special shade of green when watered by the rain. Rain gives us all an excuse to stay inside, drink cocoa, and curl up on the couch with a movie or good book.
I know that many of my friends and family still in Salem, Turner, and elsewhere are experiencing too much rain. The campground where I spent most of my summers growing up has water waist-high in places. My uncle's car was parked in a low-land parking lot and was flooded up to the windows. The house we lived in for 18 years, which nearly flooded in 1996, is still situated between two creeks.
To them, I say: Send it all over here. At 2500 feet above sea level instead of under 500, and snow pack and reservoirs low for the lack of snow and rain, we have much less standing water than you.
January 16, 2012
An End to Pain
Nine more days. The countdown has begun. After six months of testing and diagnostics and, off and on, 10 years of treatment, it is very likely the pain will go away, at least for a time, in nine more days.
Living in chronic pain is no easy task. I should know--a fall down a staircase when I was 10 inducted me into this special club. After 21 years of living with chronic low back pain (and developing quite the tolerance for the stuff), the prospect of living a back-pain-free life makes me almost delirious.
In deference to my pain, I have had to make lifestyle choices that some have called "unhealthy." I have lived a very sedentary lifestyle in order to avoid more pain than is absolutely necessary. But I don't enjoy my life as it is right now.
I want to be able to roughhouse with my 5-year-old and not pay for it for the rest of the day. I want to dance with him to his cartoons' goofy credits songs. I want to be able to do things with my family. I want to be able to go on road trips and camp and hike and garden in the back yard without pain. In this culture of childhood obesity, and my family history of diabetes, I desperately don't want my son to pick up my sedentary lifestyle. I want to have a body that will let me exercise every day so I can lose weight and feel even better. I want to be able to clean the entire house in one day, rather than in stages over weeks. I don't want to have to ask my husband, when he gets home from a long day of work, if he could do the dishes for me because I wasn't able to get to it. I want to be able to go all day long without having to rest my back for a few hours. I don't want to get upset when my son crawls into bed with us at night because it causes even more pain the next day. I don't want to live on pain killers and muscle relaxers that simply knock me out. My son deserves a better mom and my husband deserves a better wife than that.
The writers of the show House have my utmost respect. They have done their research and recognize that those of us who live in chronic pain simply think differently. Hugh Laurie--who I have loved since he was "The Prince Regent" in Black Adder--does a superb job of capturing the desperation those of us who live with chronic pain feel.... we will do nearly anything in our power to just make the pain go away.
Fortunately, my pain should end--I have been told for anywhere from eight months to five years--without a Vicodin addiction and pushing away everyone around me.
Living in chronic pain is no easy task. I should know--a fall down a staircase when I was 10 inducted me into this special club. After 21 years of living with chronic low back pain (and developing quite the tolerance for the stuff), the prospect of living a back-pain-free life makes me almost delirious.
In deference to my pain, I have had to make lifestyle choices that some have called "unhealthy." I have lived a very sedentary lifestyle in order to avoid more pain than is absolutely necessary. But I don't enjoy my life as it is right now.
I want to be able to roughhouse with my 5-year-old and not pay for it for the rest of the day. I want to dance with him to his cartoons' goofy credits songs. I want to be able to do things with my family. I want to be able to go on road trips and camp and hike and garden in the back yard without pain. In this culture of childhood obesity, and my family history of diabetes, I desperately don't want my son to pick up my sedentary lifestyle. I want to have a body that will let me exercise every day so I can lose weight and feel even better. I want to be able to clean the entire house in one day, rather than in stages over weeks. I don't want to have to ask my husband, when he gets home from a long day of work, if he could do the dishes for me because I wasn't able to get to it. I want to be able to go all day long without having to rest my back for a few hours. I don't want to get upset when my son crawls into bed with us at night because it causes even more pain the next day. I don't want to live on pain killers and muscle relaxers that simply knock me out. My son deserves a better mom and my husband deserves a better wife than that.
The writers of the show House have my utmost respect. They have done their research and recognize that those of us who live in chronic pain simply think differently. Hugh Laurie--who I have loved since he was "The Prince Regent" in Black Adder--does a superb job of capturing the desperation those of us who live with chronic pain feel.... we will do nearly anything in our power to just make the pain go away.
Fortunately, my pain should end--I have been told for anywhere from eight months to five years--without a Vicodin addiction and pushing away everyone around me.
January 9, 2012
Guest Post: Daniel Lower
Thanks to Daniel Lower of Keyboard Theologians for the guest post today!
Hi!
I should probably start by saying: "I'm not Rikki. I'm her cousin Dan, who normally blogs on a thing called Keyboard Theologians."
So I was told by my cousin, who writes this thing, that I could guest post if I wanted.
To paraphrase that great literary mystic G.K. Chesterton, it may have been an incautious suggestion to make to a person ready to write blog posts upon the feeblest provocation.
Now I can't really talk much to young adult Christian fiction. Most of my experience of that was the Wally McDoogle series from Bill Myers, which was awesome. I think I also read some guy whose last name was Lewis, on occasion.
But I digress.
Christian fiction! More recently than my childhood, I've read two Chestertonian novels, three Graham Greene books and five of six novels by Walker Percy. One Flannery O'Connor, and Young's The Shack, and I reread one from that Lewis guy. I should warn that Chesterton's really the only one of those three first writers that is safely readable by those in their teens, though if the current canon of high school lit is any indicator, nobody's really got any right to object to high schoolers reading the lighter of Percy and Greene's works. Just don't expect them to get theology.
While I've written one or two things you could call Christian fiction I'm going to make three observations about the things I've found inspiring and good in Christian fiction. Essentially, I'm going to talk about, on an inspirational/theological level, what makes these authors awesome.
(1) Good Christian characters are sinful, not perfect or evil. But they are believing Christians.
The world already suspects enough that we Christians are people who clean the outside of our bowls and leave the insides dirty. An unbelieving world will not find truly saintly believers believable--at least, not if the whole world seems to be full of them.
That said, if all our Christian characters never strive for Sainthood, if they're not trying to "be perfect" as Our Heavenly Father is, this would be equally flawed, and is probably the biggest danger of a writer like Greene.
Note that there can be something edifying about a bad believing Christian in a novel, or even an evil one. But I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that for YA fiction, it's probably best to keep at least one good example front and center.
(2) God is found throughout the book.
That may be kind of an odd phrase.
What I mean is, there should be a pretty consistent and continual presence of grace. If the book comes from a Christian perspective, one will notice this in the book as a whole, but not only there, but fairly consistently throughout. I'm certain there are exceptions, but the only big one coming to mind is if something near the end of a novel makes you realize just how providential everything was behind the scenes. While he's not necessarily the world's most Christian author, John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany is the only work I have under my reading belt that really seemed to do this. But I do feel it is good, if a novel reflects the faith, if it does so consistently, not coming and going chapter-to-chapter.
(3) A reader experiences a moment of the grace and/or the beauty of God in the reading.
This one's probably the most dangerously subjective of the three, but I think we've all had it. There will be moments, of God's beauty, or grace, or both, that a book finds ways to communicate to us. And though, due to the nature of the thing, I can't quite communicate how it feels to me, it's almost as if the work becomes a bit sacramental, and pulls me out of the almost dream-like state of living for a second, or into a place of understanding. Some variations make you want to laugh at the moment of grace or beauty. Others will make you want to cry.
Examples of books that do these things:
G.K. Chesterton:
ManaliveThe Man Who Was Thursday
Graham Greene:
The End of the AffairThe Power and the Glory
Walker Percy:
The Last GentlemanLove in the Ruins
C.S. Lewis
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Hopefully these are generalized enough for people to get stuff out of even if they haven't read the authors in question, but they are good authors and were orthodox, if not always good, Christians in their time, so they're definitely not bad reading.
It's definitely true that not every Christian book I've read has done all three of these; while I consider Walker Percy a fantastic author, one or two of his novels lost me on point number two, and one lost me on points two and three. Graham Green rode the line in Brighton Rock of just how bad of Catholics his characters can be.
In fact, I'm not sure if I can name a book right now that I can confidently say did all three of these things beginning to end, flawlessly, though the writers I've been putting out there in this post definitely came close.
Anyway, there's my thoughts. Hopefully they were somewhat useful. I highly recommend that anyone aspiring to good Christian fiction or even good fiction in general go out and read that list of books; if nothing else they ought to make you think.
Hi!
I should probably start by saying: "I'm not Rikki. I'm her cousin Dan, who normally blogs on a thing called Keyboard Theologians."
So I was told by my cousin, who writes this thing, that I could guest post if I wanted.
To paraphrase that great literary mystic G.K. Chesterton, it may have been an incautious suggestion to make to a person ready to write blog posts upon the feeblest provocation.
Now I can't really talk much to young adult Christian fiction. Most of my experience of that was the Wally McDoogle series from Bill Myers, which was awesome. I think I also read some guy whose last name was Lewis, on occasion.
But I digress.
Christian fiction! More recently than my childhood, I've read two Chestertonian novels, three Graham Greene books and five of six novels by Walker Percy. One Flannery O'Connor, and Young's The Shack, and I reread one from that Lewis guy. I should warn that Chesterton's really the only one of those three first writers that is safely readable by those in their teens, though if the current canon of high school lit is any indicator, nobody's really got any right to object to high schoolers reading the lighter of Percy and Greene's works. Just don't expect them to get theology.
While I've written one or two things you could call Christian fiction I'm going to make three observations about the things I've found inspiring and good in Christian fiction. Essentially, I'm going to talk about, on an inspirational/theological level, what makes these authors awesome.
(1) Good Christian characters are sinful, not perfect or evil. But they are believing Christians.
The world already suspects enough that we Christians are people who clean the outside of our bowls and leave the insides dirty. An unbelieving world will not find truly saintly believers believable--at least, not if the whole world seems to be full of them.
That said, if all our Christian characters never strive for Sainthood, if they're not trying to "be perfect" as Our Heavenly Father is, this would be equally flawed, and is probably the biggest danger of a writer like Greene.
Note that there can be something edifying about a bad believing Christian in a novel, or even an evil one. But I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that for YA fiction, it's probably best to keep at least one good example front and center.
(2) God is found throughout the book.
That may be kind of an odd phrase.
What I mean is, there should be a pretty consistent and continual presence of grace. If the book comes from a Christian perspective, one will notice this in the book as a whole, but not only there, but fairly consistently throughout. I'm certain there are exceptions, but the only big one coming to mind is if something near the end of a novel makes you realize just how providential everything was behind the scenes. While he's not necessarily the world's most Christian author, John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany is the only work I have under my reading belt that really seemed to do this. But I do feel it is good, if a novel reflects the faith, if it does so consistently, not coming and going chapter-to-chapter.
(3) A reader experiences a moment of the grace and/or the beauty of God in the reading.
This one's probably the most dangerously subjective of the three, but I think we've all had it. There will be moments, of God's beauty, or grace, or both, that a book finds ways to communicate to us. And though, due to the nature of the thing, I can't quite communicate how it feels to me, it's almost as if the work becomes a bit sacramental, and pulls me out of the almost dream-like state of living for a second, or into a place of understanding. Some variations make you want to laugh at the moment of grace or beauty. Others will make you want to cry.
Examples of books that do these things:
G.K. Chesterton:
ManaliveThe Man Who Was Thursday
Graham Greene:
The End of the AffairThe Power and the Glory
Walker Percy:
The Last GentlemanLove in the Ruins
C.S. Lewis
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
Hopefully these are generalized enough for people to get stuff out of even if they haven't read the authors in question, but they are good authors and were orthodox, if not always good, Christians in their time, so they're definitely not bad reading.
It's definitely true that not every Christian book I've read has done all three of these; while I consider Walker Percy a fantastic author, one or two of his novels lost me on point number two, and one lost me on points two and three. Graham Green rode the line in Brighton Rock of just how bad of Catholics his characters can be.
In fact, I'm not sure if I can name a book right now that I can confidently say did all three of these things beginning to end, flawlessly, though the writers I've been putting out there in this post definitely came close.
Anyway, there's my thoughts. Hopefully they were somewhat useful. I highly recommend that anyone aspiring to good Christian fiction or even good fiction in general go out and read that list of books; if nothing else they ought to make you think.
