Cardeno C.'s Blog, page 134

Different Men for Different Tastes -- by BG Thomas

    So I was asking a few people “in the know” about certain trends in M/M books these days. Some of it surprised me and some of it didn’t. And I didn’t know whether to be surprised or not when I was told…“Young gorgeous protagonists…that’s the way to go every time.”Really?Apparently that’s what sells. And covers that look like Japanese cartoons.Frankly I was stunned…  More often than not, when I get an email from a reader, they tell me how grateful they are that my heroes have more…human traits.Which means most of my heroes are at least thirty and go into their fifties. They rarely have washboard abs. They almost never have long hair. They usually aren’t thin. They sweat. They have hairy chests and sometimes are going bald.I am a bear. I am not a twink and am certainly no longer young, although older people call me “young man.” It makes me laugh.Because of all these things, I like to write about imperfect people. People with flaws. People who have hang ups, who fly off the handle, who have to lose weight (if only for their health), who have been through bad breakups, and who can barely pay the rent. And almost none of them want anything to do with raising children. Believe it or not, I don’t know but a few gay men who want kids. They don’t even want to be uncles.   Now understand, I like kids. I have a grown daughter whom I love. If she has kids and brings them by, I am sure I will do a bang up job as a grandpa.

I guess—in this big ramble—I want to ask…Is it true? Do most readers like to read about young, boyish, girlish, or gorgeous men? Sidebar—when asking women why they liked gay porn, and when asking them how they can imagine themselves as one of the two men since they are a woman… I was also shocked to discover that they don’t imagine themselves as either man. When I asked gay men about why they watched gay porn, overwhelmingly they picture themselves as one man or the other, or imagined themselves joining in. I like what I like to think of as “real men.” I am rarely, if ever, attracted to pretty boys. Facial hair is a huge turn on as well as hairy chests. I am not into men who wear makeup, or women’s underwear, or who perfume themselves within an inch of their lives. Once in a while I will like a young man, or a smooth-chested man, or a pretty boy. I love the guy who played Peter in the Chronicles of Narnia, and I like Danny on Revolution. But most of the time?It’s Hugh Jackman, or Ben Cohen, or Bradley Cooper for me. Bearish guys if not downright bears.  I think that is why I loved Rick Reed’s new book, Chaser. The men in the book are GAY. They are not women with a penis. They like to suck cock and get fucked and shoot all over each other. They don’t demand that you shower first. They have no interest—that I saw—in raising kids.They are flawed. Caden likes heavy men. Kevin is heavy, but not happy about it. Caden has to go away for five or six weeks and Kevin goes on a crash diet and loses a lot of weight and works out like a MF. When Caden gets back home, he is shocked and stunned by Kevin’s appearance. He has a very hard time dealing with it. As a matter of fact, he has trouble getting hard. I could hear certain readers everywhere saying how much they hated Caden for not being able to see below the surface. I loved Caden because he was real and acted real. I understood. If I went away for six weeks and my hot bearded, hairy chested man had gotten laser hair removal, I would be appalled. And I love him more than life itself. But I was attracted to him precisely because he was bearded and hairy. I fell in love with the man inside. But men? Most of us are very sight fixated. We can look at someone and—BOING!—be attracted to them and want to fuck them or get fucked by them. Dating and candles and wine and romantic car rides are rarely needed. That’s the truth of it.I think all this is part of why I loved Chaser.  I hope you will read it. AMAZING book. Read this to find out about real gay men! All of this was the inspiration for my first novel All Alone in a Sea of Love. Flawed men who learn better. Who learn to look within and find love in some of the most unexpected places, even while their dicks get them into trouble. Or at least that is what happens to my main protagonist. He has to stop thinking with his dick and think with his heart, and when he does? Then the outside isn’t nearly as important as what he finds on the inside of his new found love.I would love love love to know what you think on these subjects.What kind of man turns you on? And is it really that appalling that men sometimes think with their dicks?As long as in the end, we do what’s right and think with our hearts?Let me know?Namaste,BG Thomas  To Purchase Chaser:  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/advanced_search_result.php?keywords=chaser&osCsid=n2n0lcd04hucl6u64l4u33jm82&x=22&y=4 To Purchase All Alone in a Sea of Love:  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/advanced_search_result.php?keywords=All+Alone+in+a+Sea+of+romance&osCsid=n2n0lcd04hucl6u64l4u33jm82&x=49&y=8

Randomly Random (cuz that's how I roll)

Okay, so as Kiernan said the other day, it's getting to be time for GRL. This means I'm going more than slightly nuts with trying to figure out what to bring and how to get it there. Heh-heh. (This seems to be a theme for those of us attending as authors.)

So instead of posting about that (because Kiernan already covered it, and far better than I would have managed myself), I'm just going to share my NOH8 picture. I figure it'll give you guys a giggle. Lord knows I had to laugh when I saw it... if only to keep from crying. I really don't photograph well. Haha!


See what I mean? Though I have to admit, all that white makes my eyes look scary! Talk about a green-eyed monster! LOL

Personal dissatisfaction with the picture aside, though, the NOH8 Campaign is a great organization with a really great message. I heartily encourage everyone to have a photo done if there happens to be a shoot happening nearby. Even if, like me, you truly hate pictures of yourself! Hahaha!

And with that, I'll be toddling off. Until next week, when I'll hopefully have some fun dirt to share about GRL! *hee*

When Swag Attacks

Gay Rom Lit is next week. For those of you who aren't familiar with it, GRL is a yearly gathering of writers and readers of GLBT romance. This year, it's being held in Albuquerque, New Mexico, which necessitates (horrors!) a plane flight for me. 
Not that I'm afraid of flying. I'm not. At least, not any more than most people, meaning I'm a little nervous at takeoff and landing. And in between the two, I like to keep my mind off the fact that there's nothing between me and the ground except lots and lots of air, and have lots of those itsy bitsy bottles of booze handy. Other than that, I'm golden.
No, the problem with flying to GRL is my swag.
It has to fly too. 
Again, for those reading this that need an explanation, swag is the term used in the industry (as well as many other businesses) to describe items emblazoned with our names that are given away to readers for promotional purposes. Swag can be virtually anything, as long as it advertises your name and website, and possibly your book title – pens, mugs, t-shirts, toilet paper...although readers wiping their butts with your book cover tends to send the wrong impression, in my opinion.
GRL is the swag-intensive convention I do each year, meaning I bring the most crap with me to this one. Not that my swag is crap. Not by a long shot. Not for what it cost me. 
For what I shelled out for it, my swag should not only advertise my name and website, but sing, dance, serve margaritas, and give backroom blowjobs as well. 
In any case, there's a lot of it, currently taking up all the available flat surface space in my kitchen. The table and counters are covered with it; the floor is stacked with boxes and bags, all of which needs to be consolidated into two large cardboard boxes for shipping.
Ah, excess, thy name is Kiernan Kelly.
Seriously, shipping is going to cost me almost as much as my plane ticket.
Not that I'm complaining. I'm not. I have no one to blame but myself. I'm the one who chose to buy the heaviest, bulkiest freaking swag on the market. I could've gone with the lightweight key chains, or pens, but no, not me. 
That would've been too easy.
In any case, by tomorrow it will all be stuffed, wedged, and squashed into the shipping boxes and on its way to the Hard Rock in Albuquerque. 
Where it had just better arrive on time, or there will be much teeth-gnashing and nail-biting in at the Hard Rock in Albuquerque, and many screaming phone calls to UPS. Believe me, UPS, you don't want that. The Hard Rock doesn't want it. Nobody does. It won't be pretty.
Next week, I hope to have a recap of GRL 2012 for you. For now, I need to get to stuffing those shipping boxes full of my crap. 
Er, swag.

ARe Recipe Book by Cardeno C.

Happy Monday, y'all. Today I'm going to do a little promo for the All Romance ebooks Passionate Cooks recipe book. It's a free ebook with recipes from a bunch of romance authors. My kale chips recipe is included - whoot! 

Before I give you the blurb ARe has for the book, here's a little bonus tip, if you're in the mood to spice up the kale chips, put a little bit of ceasar dressing (or any other garlicy dressing) on them when they're done cooking. That extra little kick is very nice.

I hope you enjoy it and happy cooking! - Cardeno C. (www.cardenoc.com)




Food and love have had a long association, for Passionate Cooks: Free Recipes From Today’s Hottest Romance Authors, over 150 authors of the genre have put their pens and computers aside to don aprons, get down and dirty in the kitchen, and share their love of food.Much like romance novels themselves, the dishes range from spicy to sweet. There is something for every taste and every level of culinary expertise. The cookbook includes New York Times and USA Today bestselling author Mari Carr’s “Wild Irish” Cream of Crab Soup recipe. Western GBLT author BA Tortuga contributes a dish as spicy and colorful as the straight-shooting author herself with Ranch Hands—a blend of Tabasco, salsa, onions and cumin, added to pinto beans, eggs, Canadian bacon and cheddar cheese and served in a tortilla. And for those of you who are feeling extra creative and sexy, there’s the Avocado Dip that doubles as body paint from mystery writer Marcia James.

Some recipes are simple, such as Down Home Mac & Cheese, while some are more exotic, such as Spicy Shrimp Risotto. There are even some gluten-free selections, like the Sweet and Spicy Gluten-Free Lo Mein-ish Noodles from erotica author Sommer Marsden. And a few are perfectly timed for a Halloween, such as Tracey H. Kitt’s Gamberi del Diavolo or Shrimp of the Devil.
Best of all, they are FREE!

Reg and Jean-Andre on Wine by Augusta Li and Eon de Beaumont, Guest Authors

Today, we're happy to have Augusta Li and Eon de Beaumont here at the blog. We get a fun glimpse of characters from their new book and check out the stunning cover by Anne Cain.  Amazing! Welcome, Gus and Eon. I'm glad you could join us! - Cardeno C.  


Hi. I’m Eon de Beaumont. Apart from being the co-author of Boots for the Gentleman and its sequel, A Grimoire for the Baron, I'm a wine specialist. So Gus and I decided to buy a bunch of wine and post it to Reginald Whitney and Jean-Andre, two of our wine enthusiast characters from the series and see what they came up with. Enjoy a bit of silliness.


Reg: Well, Jean-Andre, here’s the first bottle that Gus and Eon sent us. It’s from Domaine de la Chanade.
J-A: It smells delightful. Like flowers and citrus.
Reg: Mm. This reminds me of the wine the fey drink. Where is this from?
J-A: Gaillac. It’s in France, which is their version of Belvais. This is called Loin de L’Oeil, which means "Far From the Eye." It’s from a rare native grape. And you’re right, Reggie. This tastes just like the floral wine the faeries favor.
Reg: It’s quite nice. Unique. I’m not as a rule a fan of white wine, but I quite like this.
J-A: Oui. I agree.
Reg: Shall we move on?
J-A: Please. If the rest are this good, we’re in for a treat.
Reg: This one is a sparkler.
J-A: Champagne?
Reg: No. Cremant de Gascogne. Cremant means sparkling, but it’s not actually from Champagne. Francois Montand is the producer. How do you find it?
J-A: Clean. Crisp. A hint of yeast on the nose. Is this expensive?
Reg: Not at all. That’s one of the good things about lesser known areas, you can find high-quality wines at more affordable prices. Sometimes you pay for a name.
J-A: I know what you mean. It’s like the difference between Colerand’s Clockworks and Matherite’s Mighty Machinations. Colerand’s inventions are far superior, but Matherite’s are better known and cost more. Ridiculous.
Reg: That’s progress, I suppose. Back to the wine. I like this. I would definitely recommend this to someone who wants to celebrate on a budget.
J-A: Well, if your lover is a master thief, you don’t have to worry about a budget, non?
Reg: Jean-Andre, don’t bring Querry into this. I try not to utilize his gifts in that way. What? What’s that smirk?
J-A: I was just imagining which of his gifts you are willing to utilize.
Reg: Good lord. Do you always have to take it there?
J-A: Where else would you suggest I take it? I’m willing to try anything once, mon ami.
Reg: Ahem. Yes, well—I, um. That’s not why Gus and Eon sent us this wine. Shall we get back on topic?
J-A: By all means. If you blush any harder, your face may actually bleed. What’s next?
Reg: How about this? Oh no.
J-A: What?
Reg: I hate these funny labels. I’m always suspicious of them. If the wine inside is good, why sully it with a label featuring an animal character? It seems deceptive to me.
J-A: Let’s have a taste. What is it?
Reg: Eagle Eye Winery Cabernet Sauvignon. It’s from California, which is a state in their version of Allied Libertannia. It’s quite a prosperous wine-growing region.
J-A: I like the label. It’s cute.
Reg: Well, I suppose. It smells delightful. Fruitier than other New World Cabs.
J-A: Mm. It says there’s a bit of Cabernet Franc and Merlot in it as well. Full-bodied. Black currants. This is delicious.
Reg: A pleasant surprise. Nice, long finish. It appears you can’t judge a book by its cover.
J-A: Or a bottle by its label?
Reg: Indeed. This winery has an interesting story. The husband is the wine-maker and the wife paints the labels.
J-A: That’s kind of sweet.
Reg: Jean-Andre, are you a secret romantic?
J-A: It’s no secret, mon ami. I love romance. Would you like to hear a poem I wrote?
Reg: No. That’s fine. I think we should move on. Here, open this.
J-A: Oui. What’s this one? Ravenswood?
Reg: Eon says this is one of his favorites. It’s a red blend called Icon. Ravenswood is another winery in California.
J-A: This label has birds on it as well.
Reg: It’s very artistic though. Reminds me of something from Tartan.
J-A: Over there they call it Celtic, I think.
Reg: Oh my. That’s dark!
J-A: It almost looks like ink. What’s the blend?
Reg: Zinfandel, Carignane, Petite Sirah and something they call Mixed Blacks.
J-A: Mm. It smells like blackberries. Violet. Spices.
Reg: Yes. Amazing.
J-A: Dark fruit flavors. Integrated oak. Velvety with a long finish. I love this.
Reg: It’s quite special. This will age for some time, I should say. I can see why Eon likes this so much.
J-A: I’ll have more of this, please.
Reg: Well, what do you think over all?
J-A: I think your wine-stained lips look extremely kissable.
Reg: Jean-Andre! I meant about the wines.
J-A: I know.
Reg: Maybe you should stop drinking.
J-A: Maybe you should drink a little more.
Reg: Stop waggling your eyebrows at me.
J-A: But you’re so cute, Reginald.
Reg: All right. That’s it. Thanks for stopping round and helping me with this, but you need to go now.
J-A: Reggie. Don’t be so uptight.
Reg: No. No sir. Time to go. Good to see you.
J-A: Reggie, wait. Stop. Reg!
At that point, Reg pushed Jean-Andre out of the house and returned to the wine. Jean-Andre knocked incessantly but ultimately gave up and headed to the local tavern. It wasn’t long before Querry and Frolic returned to help Reg finish off the wine we sent them. Frolic couldn’t drink and Querry didn’t appreciate it as much as Reg did, but the day ended in a really hot threesome, so everybody wins, right?
Make sure you check out the next book in the trio’s adventure, A Grimoire for the Baron. It’s a wild ride. Here’s the blurb:
Former archivist Reg Whitney, expert thief Querry Knotte, and the clockwork boy known as Frolic are fugitives from Halcyon living on a small island. While Reg is content to lead a safe and settled life, there is trouble in paradise: Querry is bored, and Frolic can’t help but ponder his own existence.

When Querry and Frolic get caught breaking into Baron Starling’s villa, all three men are bamboozled into accompanying the baron on a quest for arcane knowledge. But their jungle destination holds more danger than anyone on the expedition expects.

Reg knows their crew is made up of criminals—the kind who can’t be trusted—which puts a strain on the trio. He’s certain the baron and the mercenary Jean-Andre are hiding something that puts them all in danger. Querry and the baron grow close, leaving Reg and Frolic feeling alienated. Frolic’s friendship with a fey servant just strains the trio’s dynamic further. Even if Reg, Querry, and Frolic survive the quest, their relationship will never be the same.
Buy A Grimoire for the Baron: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3283
Buy Boots for the Gentleman:http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=2483
And here are some links to the wines Reg and Jean-Andre enjoyed, if you would like to try any of them!
Domaine de la Chanade "Les Rials" Loin de L’Oeil: http://www.liquiddiscount.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=5276&osCsid=40147aacd03d8d0ae2416e04d5c9486c
Eagle Eye Wines: http://www.eagleeyewine.com/
Ravenswood Icon: http://www.ravenswoodwinery.com/wines/release/2008_icon_mixed_blacks#home

All Alone in a Sea of Love; by B.G. Thomas

 So today is the day! Today is the release of my very first novel. It's pretty exciting. Two and a half years ago I made my first submission and was fortunate enough to sell it in less than a week. At this point I've sold seventeen stories and it all seems too good to be true. It's like something right out of a story, like fiction, but I assure you it's true.  I was also fortunate enough that I started getting to know the people behind the scenes, the publishers, editors, and found I was establishing good relations with almost all of them. Many of them soon seemed to be more like friends than peers or co-workers. It gave me an idea. What would it be like to write a story about the MM industry and small presses? With the knowledge I was gaining with friendly editors, I was beginning to get a picture of what it was all about. Then another stroke of luck. The fabulous editor Julianne Bentley agreed to do an interview with me and I found out all the more. It was really cool to peel back that layer between "me" and "them" and find out how close I'd figured things out--and how far I was wrong. Julianne was a delight, and I enjoyed every minute of our very long conversations.   The story began to take shape in my head. Unlike most of my stories, which are serious or moody or sad (with happy endings) or moral filled, I wanted to do a romantic comedy. What some call--if it was a movie--a "chick flick." I'm one of those rare men that likes those kinds of movies! Of course being gay might be part of that, but that's not what's important. What I realized was missing in this world, at least for me and as far as my search went, was a gay romantic "flick." Where it's a pretty boy that gets discovered by the millionaire, the homo versions of "When Harry met Sally" or "About a Boy" or "Bridget Jones's Diary" or "Amélie" or even "Ruthless People."  That was my goal anyway...   Here's a little excerpt from the novel. Jude and his best friend Jeannie have arrived at the convention and are taking their over laden cart to their table where they can set up the books they're going to be selling. Right away Jude is starting down the wrong path!: Jeannie rolled her eyes and took off, me hot on her heels, at least as much as I could be with the crappy hotel luggage cart. 
“Jeez,” I muttered. “How far back are we?” “Far!” she snapped. “By the time I talked Gail into this, they didn’t have many tables left.”  “Well, will we sell anything way back here?” Jeannie didn’t answer. In fact, I forgot what my question was. We’d both frozen in place at the sight of two hugely muscled men wearing itty-bitty tank tops and shorts. One of them had chosen that precise moment to bend over and stick his mind-bogglingly amazing ass in our direction. I just stared. It was all I could do to not fall to my knees. “Hey,” said the second godling, and somehow I tore my gaze from the Michelangelo sculptured glutes and the inviting trench between them. “H-H-Hey,” I stammered. The second man was simply gorgeous, and I realized he looked familiar. Now where could I know him from? Was he a movie star? A celebrity? He had long brown hair that fell to his shoulders, deep black eyes, a lantern jaw, and big pink nipples that were strategically revealed by his tiny tank top. My mouth watered at the sight. “How are you two doing? Ready to party this weekend?” “I… uh… uh…,” I fumbled. “Party,” Jeannie managed. “Yeah. Party.” 
“You want to help me with this,” said the man who was sticking his glorious butt in our direction. 
“Sure,” said the godling and bent to help his friend. For a brief instant two sets of magnificent buns were there for our mutual perusal. Then the men lifted up a huge panel. It was a photograph of the brunette who had bid us hello. He was standing at the bow of a classic sailing vessel, balloon-sleeved shirt torn wide, his hair blowing in the wind. A big-bosomed woman clutched at him while he somehow held both her and the ship’s wheel. Large flowing letters proclaimed “Pirate’s Hostage.” Of course! He was a cover model! And so was his equally gorgeous, blond friend. Mesmerized, we watched their muscles flex as they raised a second panel. This one had the blond raising a sword high over his head, another woman wrapped around his enormous thighs. “Barbarian’s Time Lost Love” this panel proclaimed.
 
They both turned to face us and—intentionally or not—posed. “I’m Brock,” said the brunette.
 
“Of course you are,” I said, and Jeannie elbowed me. Brock held out a massive hand, and when I somehow unfroze myself, I saw mine vanish inside his huge paw. His hand was rough and warm, and I felt goose flesh rush up my arm and across my back. God! Brock took Jeannie’s hand and with a slight bow, kissed her knuckles. She positively preened. “And I’m Dino,” said the stunning blond, his sapphire-blue eyes flashing, his voice the rumble of a Boeing 747. One tiny, but fiercely erect, nipple peeked out from a tank top strap. The other was hidden from my view but not my imagination. I could see the bump of it beneath fabric that was strained to the ripping point. And did I mention that those little running shorts did nothing to hide what was clearly a rather large endowment?
 
I felt my butt cheeks clench. Oh, oh, what he could do to me with that! He shook Jeannie’s hand like Brock had mine, and then with a twinkle of those amazing eyes, he bent to kiss my hand as Brock had Jeannie’s.
 
I gushed. 
He looked up at me over my knuckles, and from beneath heavy lidded eyes. I got an instant erection. “You should come by later when we’re all set up,” Dino said huskily, and I wondered if he had he written that out if it would have been spelled “cum by later,” or if that was only wishful thinking on my part. I was fat after all, Lionel had said so, and I was a hundred and forty-one in gay years. Why would this man make a pass at me? “Sure,” I muttered.
 
“You can get your picture taken with me.” There was only one kind of picture I wanted taken with him, but I was sure that was just more wishful thinking. “I’d-I’d love to,” I said. Dino winked and pulled away. At some point another godling had arrived, this one all swarthy and with raven blue-black hair that fell to nearly his waist. Sheik? Native American? Indian Prince? All the above? He and Brock were lifting a third panel, and I saw that our new arrival was indeed, at least on the giant-sized book cover, Native American. His hair was flying back as he sat upon a black horse, a woman clad in nothing but some kind of nightie holding desperately to his back. “I’ve died…” whispered Jeannie. “… and gone to heaven,” I whispered back.
 The craziness takes off from there, and yes, Jude does find love. But how? You'll have to check it out!  You can find the ebook here: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3257and the paperback here: http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/store/product_info.php?products_id=3258
 Special Note! The first twenty people who order the paperback get autographed copies and a fun little extra that I included!  
 

Just When Things Were Going Well

I am convinced there is an imp, a gremlin perhaps, following me from place to place, just waiting for the best time to strike. The best time being, of course, whenever I think I have things under control.

Oh, silly, silly, me for allowing optimism to raise it's pretty little head.

There I'd be, foolishly allowing hope to rub against me like a cat loving on a catnip-filled mouse, fully confident that I would beat whatever deadline was looming, when...POW! The gremlin smacks me upside the head with a hefty dose of reality.

This happened to me just last week. Now, I'd been having trouble with my left foot for a couple of weeks. Nothing terrible - it's not like I couldn't walk on the damn thing. It hurt enough only to be annoying. I figured I'd pulled a tendon or strained a ligament or something, and ignored it, trying to concentrate on the many tasks awaiting my attention. I had edits to do on my upcoming anthology, Fifty Gays of Shade. I had swag to finish for Gay Rom Lit, a convention/retreat for GLBT-romance writers and readers taking place in Albuquerque in two weeks. I had postcards and book covers to design for a short story, Zero's Fist, that I was putting up on Amazon (it had gone out of print a year or so ago, and I was tired of it collecting dust on my desktop). Not to mention the dozen or so works-in-progress I have, all piteously crying for my attention.

Anyway, there I was, working feverishly, feeling more and more confident that I would finish my work in a reasonable amount of time, when for some strange reason known only to the WTF gods, I decided to get my foot checked. Maybe it was the fact that it still hurt after two weeks, or maybe it was because the fucking thing kept swelling up and I couldn't fit it into my brand new, awesomely cute cowboy boots (most likely the latter, and by "most likely" I mean definitely), but I turned to the hubs and said, "I think I should go to the foot doctor."

It was the announcement, evidently, he'd been waiting for. He jumped up, donned his superhero cape, shouted, "To the bat-phone!" and raced into this office. He must've used his super power of persuasion on the doctor's office staff -- usually, you need to wait at least a decade to get in to see a specialist -- because before I could blink, I had an appointment with a podiatrist for two days later.

At this point, I was still confident I could complete my work in a timely fashion. I was certain the doctor would find nothing wrong with my foot other than a strain or sprain. I'd get a dose of meds, maybe an ace bandage and a warning to stay off the stilettos, and go home.

Well, I was right about the ace bandage and stiletto parts, at least. Not so much on the diagnosis.

I should have known better than to remain optimistic. It only instigates the gremlin.

I was in the x-ray room when the tech paused and looked at me cockeyed.

X-Ray Tech: Could I ask you a question?

Me: Um, sure.

X-Ray Tech: How old are you?"

Me: Why? Are you serving alcohol along with my x-rays? Great idea, by the way. I'll have a cranberry vodka, hold the cranberry.

X-Ray Tech: Uh, no. I was just curious. You look good.

Me *blushing*: Well, thanks! I've been on a diet. Lost forty pounds so far. But to answer your question, I'm fifty-two."

X-Ray Tech *looking crestfallen and not at all impressed*: Oh. That explains it, I guess. They had your birth year down as 1916.

So, either I look really, really good for 96, or really, really bad for 52. Fucking gremlin.

In any case, the doctor read my x-rays (no doubt marveling over the 96 year old infrastructure and ready to call the folks at the Journal of Medicine and Ripley's Believe It or Not until the X-Ray Tech informed her of my real birth date), and determined the injury was not a sprain or a strain.

It was broken.

Fucking malevolent, asswipe gremlin.

I left the office with my foot encased in a Frankenstein's Monster-esque hard-plastic boot, looking a lot like Optimus Prime's mother caught in mid-transformation.

Well, on the plus side, I guess I don't need to worry about squeezing my foot into my new boots for a while. On the other hand, I'll be stomping around GRL in Albuquerque wearing my Transformer-meets-Frankenstein's Monster boot on one foot, and a brand new, awesomely cute cowboy boot on the other.

In any case, it all set me back a few days on my schedule. Now, I'm banging on my keyboard, trying to play catch-up.

I may actually do it, too.

I only hope the gremlin isn't watching.

Reader Reviews by Cardeno C.

Happy Monday, y'all. Today I'm sharing another review from a reader about one of her favorite books. This one is by Shirley Frances and it's for a book I haven't read (yet): Loving Luki Vasquez by Lou Sylvre. Please leave a comment here for Shirley to let her know how much you enjoyed her review (I sure did!).


Loving Luki Vasquez by Lou Sylvre
"Loving Luki Vasquez isn't all that easy."
Wow, what a roller coaster! Luki is a tough guy with many insecurities, quirks and a rough past. While Sonny, sweet on the outside but strong on the inside, likes control and keeps himself away from any form of emotional attachment, except when in regards to his nephew Delsyn. 
These two are thrown together in the most unusual way. At first, the story was dragging and I could not connect to any of the characters. But as the story progressed I totally understood where they were coming from and that in a way, they were the perfect match. 
"What are you looking at?"
I thoroughly enjoyed the dialog between these two. It was filled with humor, banter and deep emotion. Lou Sylvre managed to give a very deep insight into each character's personalities and struggles. With each detail that was revealed I felt more connected to them and they became more real to me. Their insecurities were very easy to relate to, which in turn, made me more intrigued in their story. 
"You're crying most of the time, and everyone knows it but you." 
I liked that Sonny could 'see' Luki right away. That he could look beyond his scars and accept him and love him even when he usually kept himself closed off. Luki had this wall of ice so firmly in place that at times I thought it was a hopeless situation for Sonny. There was a point in the book that I just wanted to shake some sense into Luki (really, I wanted to smack some sense into him, but I'm trying to be all proper here!). I did understand his struggles but he broke my heart in that moment. But, I am a sucker for romance and this is fiction, so I forgave him and he made it up to me...err, Sonny along the way. So, all is good.
"You're a jackass, Luki, not a monster." 
The writing was very good, although the pacing was a bit slow there in the beginning. However, I think it was more a personal thing than anything. I really just wanted to connect with Luki and Sonny and it took me a while. In the end, I am glad I took my time and waited out my impatience because it was worth it. Looking forward to the next installment. This was a great read! 
Keep spreading the love!
xoxo, 
Shirley Frances
LeAnn's Book Reviews

Thanks for sharing this review, Shirley. I bought all the books in the series based on your recommendation. 
If y'all have a favorite book, please consider sharing your thoughts with other readers. Send me an e-mail and I'll post your review of a book you loved so other readers can enjoy it. New release, old favorite, doesn't matter. As long as it touched you, made you laugh, or warmed your heart, someone else will appreciate reading it too.
- Cardeno C. (www.cardenoc.com)

Opening My Mind - by B.G. Thomas

  Goodness I love to read. I’ve read since I was little. Mom got me a subscription to the “I Can Read Books,” so I was one fish, two fish, red fish, and blue fishing it from an early age. Thank you, Mom! Books taught me to question and to expand my mind – raised in a quite Christian home, mom nevertheless read me all kinds of books. When I was very young, one of those books was about the coelacanth, the ancient fish that was supposed to be extinct millions of years ago but was found to still be living. Millions of years ago, I wondered. But the Earth is only supposed to be six thousand years old. Mom unintentionally opened my mind to far more than a dogmatic view of the world. Without meaning to, she caused me to question, to wonder, and to look for answers that weren’t often contained in her Bible. Thank you Mom! Trapped at a very menial job that doesn’t in any way take my gifts and use them, it is books that save my sanity. They take me (for 15 minutes at a time) away from work and to other countries, different circumstances, other planets, other times and more. They entertainment, they teach me, they expand my spirit. I love to read! It stuns me when someone tells me they’ve tried, but they just can’t get into reading. O.M. Gosh! Of course books can get us into trouble. They taught me I was gay. I was in my late teens and I was working at a bookstore that no longer exists called Kroch's and Brentano's and it was coming into the holiday season and we were getting tons of boxed books sets. Everything from a dictionary/thesaurus set, to the “All Things Great and Small” series, “Star Trek” sets and so much more. It was the so much more that got me. To my shock we got a set with these two men on the box looking longingly into each other’s eyes. My heart started beating faster. What the hell was this?  When no one was looking I grabbed a set and checked them out. It was the “beloved” and “New York Time’s Bestselling” Peter and Charlie Trilogy. I wound up sorta stealing them. I found a set that was the same price, bought them, and put that set back on the shelf and took the Peter & Charlie books instead. So I did pay the bookstore! I just didn’t pay for what I said I was paying for. I took those books home and opened the first page of the first book to a quote that said: “I say it’s love and the Lord won’t mind, there’s too much hate in the world.” I then read Charlie’s slow seduction of Peter and the amazing sex they had. I got that far, stopped, looked out my bedroom window onto a sunny day… …and cried. I knew that I was like Peter and Charlie. And I didn’t want to be! It took me a lot longer to really come out. A six year relationship with a woman, lots of struggles with God and religion issues, and more. But I did it. I had a set back—a very long term and quite mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. But today? I have a grown and fabulous daughter and I am about to hit the twelve year mark with my wonderful and amazing and malespouse. Along the way there were so many books that helped me on my path. Thank God for books! “The Front Runner,” “The Persian Boy,” “The Stand,” “Stranger in a Strange Land,” “The Four Agreements,” “Awakening the Buddha Within ,” “Eat, Pray, Love,” and so many others. These books entertained me, they taught me, and they expanded my spirit.  And they taught me to respect other people’s opinions and beliefs. I love to read. I walk and read at the same time so I can get in more reading time. I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t read. A nightmare was that episode of “The Twilight Zone,” where Ernest Borgnine breaks his glasses after some kind of Apocalypse and can no longer read! Heavens! I would love to know what some of your favorite books are or were. How they changed you. Thrilled you. Taught you. Books. Can you get much better than that?Namaste,BG Thomas   

LIVE!!! (music, that is...) And Marriage Equality! (T.C. Blue's week in review)

Well, it's Thursday again, and you know what that means! That's right, it's time for another rambling and (largely) irrelevant collection of words from Tis. (This has been likened to white noise in the past, so just be glad you're reading rather than listening. Heh!)
It's been an interesting week since last Thursday, full of craziness and frustrations, but we'll not focus on that. Instead, I'm going to talk about music. LIVE music, in point of fact, as I've been to two different shows, both at the same venue in DC.
Monday night was Gossip, and that was amazing. The two opening acts were energetic and very talented and I was quite glued to my spot on the balcony. Then Gossip came on and proceeded to bring the house down. (Not literally, of course, but figuratively? Oh, yeah. They left the 9:30 Club a broken pile of rubble. Amazing!)
In addition to many of their incredible songs, they also performed covers from Madonna, Nirvana, and Tina Turner. The entire band was in great form, and Beth Ditto was, as always, a joy to watch and hear. She clearly loves what she does, and so do I. They really need to play here more often.
By the time I headed home, my brain was buzzing, and not merely from the drinks I may or may not have indulged in. Ha!
Tuesday night I was at the 9:30 Club… again. This time it was to see Adam Lambert perform a charity show for Marylanders for Marriage Equality, which is an organization I volunteer with, so it was just that much more special to me. How amazing was it to see so many people there to show their support? Pretty fucking awesome! People actually came from all over the country. (I spoke with one guy who'd driven down from New York, and a gal from… I want to say Arizona, but I could be wrong, though it was definitely somewhere in that part of the country.) All of them there to see La Lambert, and all of them seemingly happy to spend a fairly large chunk of change to support a good cause.
I was fortunate enough to get a ticket for the meet and greet, and that was lovely as well. Open bar for that part of the event (though I don't actually drink rail liquor, but I know it was handy for those who do), and there was a photographer to snap pics of each person with Lambikins. These photos will apparently be emailed to us, though I'm still waiting for mine. Granted it's only been a day and a half, so I really need to work on my patience. Haha!
After this meet and greet, it was out into the club proper from the back bar, and a short while later, Lambikins and the band took the stage. When I say they took it, they really TOOK IT. They owned that damned stage for the rest of the night, and the stage seemed to love it, so… no harm. *hee*
I'm not one of those people who takes pictures and video. I'm just not that skilled with technology and have no clue about the method of accomplishing that with my phone. (To be fair, my old phone died and I just got the new one on Monday, so that's why I'm clueless at the moment. My old phone? There would SO be video. Sadly, they no longer make my old phone and the new one is… Let's say it functions less logically.)
So the band is there, the lights are good to go, and then… it started.
I'm not going to exhaustively describe every moment. Nor am I going to wax poetical. I will say that they played for just about an hour and fifteen minutes and performed some of my favorite songs, as well as couple that I'm more meh about (even those were great live, though).
So we got (in random order because I just don't remember the actual set list) Kickin' In, Shady (love this song to an unnatural degree), Outlaws of Love, Trespassing, Never Close Our Eyes, Naked Love, Cuckoo, If I Had You, Pop That Lock, Whataya Want From Me… and maybe a couple more that I can't recall right now. I do seem to recall a (short) cover of Thank You (For Lettin' Me Be Myself).
We also got to hear La Lambert's thoughts on marriage equality, and as always, he was extremely well-spoken and presented his thoughts on the matter in a very clear fashion. Not surprisingly, he received loads of applause, not just for his words, but for the entire show.

The whole band was awesome and I couldn't be happier to have seen them.After the show ended, there was an enormous queue outside the club, by the alley. It seemed Lambikins was going to be coming outside to sign things and allow for brief photo ops with those who had attended. I have to say that the club handled that whole scenario very well. They're clearly quite used to that sort of thing, which was a relief. That sort of situation always has the possibility of becoming a clusterfuck of immense proportions, and that didn't happen here. It was surprisingly civil and even polite, with very little pushing and shoving. To the best of my knowledge, everyone who waited left with whatever they'd been there for, whether that was a photo or an autograph, and Adam Lambert was unfailing nice, as far as I know. Meaning I wasn't there for long, but while I was, he was very personable and kind and went out of his way to give each person a smile or a hug or a laugh. I have no idea what he's like in his real life, but he's a shining example of how to have a great public persona.
His performance raised a lot of money and awareness for Marylanders for Marriage Equality, and on that basis alone I'd have to adore him, even if I didn't think he was a lovely, talented and smart man. As I DO think those things about him, I have to say he's definitely in the running as Tis's Favorite Entertainer 2012. (This is a highly coveted title, or should be, and is never awarded lightly. Just sayin'.)
So that's been my week. Gossip (fucking incredible show), and La Lambert (also wicked-great).
Anyone interested in seeing video of these two shows, there's stuff up on youtube. For Gossip, plug in "Gossip 9:30 Club 2012" and it should give you a decent assortment. For La Lambert, "Benefit for Marriage Equality 9:30 Club 2012" works well. I hope you guys will check it out because seriously, both shows were insanely good.
Now if I could just get a Gossip/Lambikins/Scissor Sisters/Blood On The Dance Floor show, I could die happy. *hee*