Jason Arnett's Blog, page 4

Wait For Me There

What a month March was. I had COVID for the first time. Traveled for my day job. Had multiple extra curricular obligations. And my favorite event of the spring, Planet Comicon happened. That three weeks was intense and I took a couple of days just to reset afterwards. Later, in a meeting at work, I admitted I hadn’t been at my best for several months and that I hoped having some time off would help me get back to where I needed to be for myself and everyone who depends on me. 

Hi, I’m Jason and I write stories I hope you’ll read and like. Thanks for coming over to read. (Some of this may be familiar ground if you read each of these entries. Not an apology, just a heads up.)

Organ of Record: The Envoy and War In Vain

Once I’d gotten over being sick, I dove back into revisions on THE ENVOY. I had begun a Big Fix pass because the the middle of the story was really – soft. If you’re a writer, you’re familiar with the term Mushy Middle and that was the problem with that draft of Envoy. It wasn’t bad even though it didn’t live up to the promise of the first third, but it wasn’t exciting and moved things forward very slowly. It was mushy in the way quicksand of 1970s TV shows was mushy. And about as dangerously boring. 

Amid the various obligations and unacknowledged depression that was mounting I started the Fix. Then I got sick, then and then and then. My process involves paper and red pens and then going back to type so I’ve been dragging the manuscript back and forth with me to work on it when I have five minutes. Two days ago I finished the red pen fix and am typing up the changes. I’ve read this book over a dozen times now and I love how it’s getting better and better with each draft. It’ll go out to a couple of trusted readers before the end of the week.

And while I’m doing that, because I can’t spend all my day in front of screens, I’m going back to revisions on WAR IN VAIN, the next installment of The Wave stories with Rob Schamberger. The benefit to that one having been sidelined as long as it has is that I’ve learned a lot from what’s happened with Envoy so I’m hoping I can speed this process up with War. 

I recently took a test that claims I’m familiar with 22,400 word families. Using those word families to create stories – choosing the right ones and then placing them strategically so that they are coherent – is harder than it looks. That’s the battle. That’s what makes writing difficult. There are over 140,000 words in the English language in regular use throughout varying industries and realms, so the math of stringing words together is formidable when you think about it. Writing is work, friends.

We’ll Remember Distant Times & Places

At Planet Comicon, I acquired a Batman book I’d been looking for since I was a kid for a great price. Since I didn’t table this year at the show I was able to spend time in the comic boxes looking for the stuff I would like to have in my collection, even though I recently downsized it considerably. Finding that DC Special inspired me to search further for the others in that line with the Flash and Superman. I’m pleased that now I have all three and treasure them as much as if I’d been able to buy them at The Town Crier back in the day.

Batman Spectacular (DC Special #15), Flash Spectacular (DC Special #11), and Superman Spectacular (DC Special #5). Covers by Marshall Rogers (Batman), Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez (Flash), and Jose Luis Garcia-Lopez with Dick Giordano (Superman). Man, I just REALLY love the Dollar Comics format. It made the books special and they stood out on the rack. I also have the Jonah Hex and one of the Swamp Thing books in the DC Special series. JLGL did the Hex cover and Swampy’s cover was Wrightson because who else could have?

And I’ve been a fan of Shawn Levy’s adaptation of THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU since I first encountered it on cable a few year back. In fact, the most recent viewing of it reminded me (again) that Jonathan Tropper’s book was still out there for me to read so I went to my library and borrowed a copy yesterday. (Having just finished Michael Moorcock’s THE ELRIC SAGA PART I, I was between books even though I have Anne McDermott’s WHAT ABOUT THE BABY? essay collection and I need to review SEE YOU AT SAN DIEGO for a potential project that will occupy my summer while I’m revising.)

There’s a scene in this movie with Tina Fey and Timothy Olyphant where her character (Wendy) asks if his character (Horry) hates her for leaving him after the accident that leaves him brain damaged. It’s a beautiful moment that tells almost their entire story in about 2 minutes. 

But it’s not just that one moment, the script is full of shortcuts that reveal a ton about the characters while moving the plot. It’s funny, bittersweet, and just about perfect, I think, as is the cast. I recommend it.

At Capacity

I will never be embarrassed to admit that I struggle sometimes. I tend to overcommit myself at work and in my writing ambitions, and that contributes to the overwhelm which contributes to the feelings of dismay and disappointment that builds and builds on my metaphorical shoulders until it sinks me. I want to accomplish so much and be the person I see in my head. When I can’t get that image to match up with the guy in the mirror looking back at me I despair. 

Look, you’re not alone if you have times you feel like this, too. I find talking it out with my wife, with my colleagues, with my brothers and friends helps me put it in perspective. The bags under my eyes get heavy and pull me down but not nearly as fast as it used to. I hope you have a process that works for you in those situations and if you don’t, I hope you keep looking until you find it. You matter to the ones who love you I’m glad you’re here. 

I’ll see you when I see you.

First Quarter Finish

Oh, boy, it’s been a busy, BUSY first three months of the year. The day job saw me take on several projects, an important hiring committee, and join a task force. There’s been a time-consuming volunteer project for my professional organization and a conference I traveled to Michigan for. And after avoiding it like the plague, COVID-19 finally got me. I was down for a week with what amounted to a really bad flu but I’m glad I’ve had all the shots that mitigated it to that.

Hi, I’m Jason and I write science fiction stories that I hope you’ll like. Welcome.

Pole Shift

The last part of that sequence above is Planet Comicon in Kansas City just happened. This is a now HUGE show for the Midwest and KC in particular. The first night saw it competing with a WWE event basically next door, the end of spring break week for local school systems, a cold St. Patrick’s Day parade, and two years of trying to get ‘back to normal.’

And boy did Planet get back to normal and beyond this weekend. Wow. Record sales for Saturday following a Friday the like I’ve not seen since before the pandemic. Not only that, the cosplay was so varied and wide that it was hard to spot a trend except that there were far fewer Harley Quinns and Deadpools than in recent years.

Universe BJerry and Cullen of The Worst Comic Podcast Ever at the Hero Initiative booth with me at Planet Comicon in Kansas City 2023.

I did not table this year at Planet because I didn’t have any new books to hawk and as noted above I had been busier than normal heading into it. So it was fun to just buy a weekend pass and be a tourist. I saw a number of the cohort I run with at this show and missed some others. A couple of conversations inspired me to rethink something I’d considered a number of times in the last year. It’s cool to give things a project or code name, so I’m going to call this thing The Dodge Activity which has almost nothing to do with what it is.

As is usual at the beginning of any undertaking, I’m super-excited. This is different than most things, though, and feels an awful lot like when I knew THE ENVOY was really working. I’m sure this is going to carry through because I’ve already got a lot of information about how it could go wrong. It’s likely I’ll make mistakes along the way but I am confident in a way that tells me this is the right move. I’m going to do this and when I tell you what The Dodge Activity is, I think you’ll agree it’s the right thing for me.

Big Buzz

The update on the above-mentioned story, The Envoy, is that the re-write is at about 75%. I’ve got a bit more clean-up to do before it goes back out to beta readers. I am positive it will be out before summer but having this kind of control is important. Deadlines are self-imposed, but I treat them with respect though I don’t share them with anyone but my wife, and that will apply to all my creative things. I don’t want to promise you all anything I can’t deliver.

Lessons were learned about outlining and not falling too much in love with what you write. Also, the promise you make in the first third has to be followed through in the middle or it’s going to fall apart at the end.

At Capacity

I’m about 65% extrovert and the rest is undeniably introverted and can be overwhelmed. I’m creatively recharged but socially exhausted. I’ve taken a couple of days for myself to reconnect back at home after the marathon of the first quarter of this year. I’m looking forward to dropping back into a regular routine that gives me time to do things around the house, spend time with my wife, and focus on my writing and the things I need to do around that.

Never be afraid to step back and take care of yourself. Drive hard to accomplish the stuff you want because you want it that much, but then take time to breathe. Do something you need to recharge or just rest up so those batteries refill. It’s important. Whatever success I have is because I didn’t give up or just haven’t yet and I don’t intend to. Stubborn, that’s me. If that’s you, too, I understand. We’re in this together.

JLA/Avengers and Avengers/JLA

I took some time to put down some thoughts on the brilliant DC/Marvel crossover at my Tumblr. I just finished a reread for the first time in a long time since I unearthed the series when I offloaded a bunch of comics recently. Expect more of this but also some more current readings, too, as I pick them up from my LCS.

Look at that rubble! Nobody does rubble like George Perez. That iconic image of Superman holding Cap’s shield and Thor’s hammer is pretty cool, too.

By the way, did you see this great guest announcement for Planet Comicon?

Planet Comicon Kansas City is thrilled to welcome Kansas City to our March event for all three days! Best known for its contributions to jazz, the culinary traditions of barbecue, and professional football, its most notable roles include appearances in The Last of Us, Queer Eye, The Day After, and numerous other popular films and television series.

bit.ly/pckc2023fb
bit.ly/pckc_ops2023fb

For more info, visit PlanetComicon.com.Additional guests to be announced.

Very clever PCC social media managers. Well done.

That’s all for this time. The Super Bowl is Sunday and my Chiefs are facing off against the Eagles. I’m looking forward to a good game. Be good to one another, keep the rivalries friendly, and stay warm and dry. Drink lots of water.

I’ll see you when I see you.

The Socials part II

Back at the first of the year I mentioned I was trying to figure out my social media presence a little more. The first step I took that I think will hold for a while is to start keeping track of the comics I read this year, so I’ll use my Tumblr for that.

I’ve already started with a couple of posts:

First up are my thoughts upon rereading John Byrne’s Elseworlds/Imaginary Tales of Superman and Batman: Generations 1, 2, & 3.Then I looked back on Timothy Hunter’s exploits in Books of Magick: Life During Wartime.

So if you’re interested, those thoughts are there for you to consider. I’ll try to keep up because I really want to track not only what I read, but what I watch and what I’m listening to for a while. See if there’s a pattern. Follow along and see what fun I’m up to, I guess. I’ll try to remember to post links here every so often.

I’m revisiting Kurt Busiek’s and George Perez’s JLA/AVENGERS for the first time since roughly 2003 next, but I’ll also keep track of the current books I’m buying and enjoying from my LCS. The Brubaker/Phillips books are top of the list as is any compilation of Tynion’s THE DEPARTMENT OF TRUTH plus monthly titles like the animated Harley Quinn series LEGION OF BATS and POISON IVY.

Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate your time and I’ll see you when I see you.

Necessary Energy

This winter is tough for some and not so much (yet) for others. Snow and cold signal the rebirth of the year and maybe that’s the theme of this post. Hi, I’m Jason and I write things I hope you’ll like. There will be an announcement of a new book soon while I’m revising a second again and will begin to write a third.

Melnibone Got Nothin’ on Me

I haven’t been writing much this year yet. There have been some organizational things in the home office that required my attention for the last years while I was in school. It’s been chaos all around me and it’s time to change the energy in the room.

Ugh.

The bookshelf on the right is one of those cheap, crappy things I’ve had for fifteen-ish years and was all I could afford at the time. Of course, since then I’ve continued to acquire all sorts of objects (books and comics among them) that end up in various places jammed into whatever available space there might be. I’m naturally a pack rat and that’s something I’m working on continually so it’s no wonder this has happened. My very patient wife often dumps piles of books and papers I’ve accumulated throughout the house in my little office. (Actually it’s not tiny at all, just filled to the brim with all my shit.

So early in the month, I decided to finally divest myself of some stuff. I started with my comics collection. This was the second purge in my lifetime and it was remarkably easy to let comics I thought I would treasure for my lifetime. Over the course of ten days or so, I pulled out all 30 short boxes, sorted out the books I absolutely had to keep and ended up with 3 empty short boxes and 12 that were filled with books I could let go. Last time I purged, I ended up donating them to my public library’s book sale. This time, I decided I would pursue selling them.

Midway through the initial sorting process.

Here’s the thing about selling anything you think of as collectible: it’s worth exactly what you can convince someone to pay for it. In comics, you see people searching for runs, upgrades to better copies of books they already have, and copies of books they always wanted to read. I’m not connected to a collector’s network, so I had to look for someone who would do the work for me. To maximize the return on a collectible, you have to spend time and energy to convince a potential buyer that what you have will be easy to turn around for a profit. Long story short, you have to offer what you have at a reasonable price. This means, realistically, my books (ranging from the 70s to last year) were ‘worth’ at most 50 cents apiece. A vendor at a comic convention would buy my mostly common titles and turn them around for about a dollar on average.

Anyway, the comics and some graphic novels/collections left my home to seek new readers who will love them as much as I did. I turned the money into a couple of new bookshelves and some bookends. Then I turned my attention to the mess on the other side of the room in the first picture above. I am letting books and DVDs and other stuff go, too. I even found another stash of comics that had to be sorted through. This stuff will go to local used bookstores, again for minimal cash.

Arioch in front of the Chaos Star from Michael Moorcock’s Elric stories, illustrated by Jeff Dee in TSR’s Deities & Demigods.

I’m ready to write again, but this project has helped me begin to understand that what I need to write is a more organized space. I can write in the mess I existed in before, but at this moment in my life I crave some order to create the chaos of a story in. And if it doesn’t work, well, over time I’ll surely acquire more stuff that I will be sure I will treasure for the rest of my life. Just so you know that I’m serious, here’s a picture of the new shelves in place with all that physical media sort of heaved up on them.

Still chaotic, but there’s a plan and a lot of this stuff in front is going away.At Capacity

It’s weird to think that I’ve been able to work in an environment like that. I want to find out if it’s necessary. I hope not. Humans are adaptable and capable of achieving change over time and I want to initiate that change to make other changes to see what takes. Being open about this stuff might help someone else decide to do some work so that’s why I’m sharing my – weaknesses? fallacies? – whatever you call them here.

I hope you’re having a good day. It’s important to recognize when you need to make a change and then to take the actions that make that change possible. As scary as it can be, that’s living and that’s what I need to be doing at the moment. I want that for all of us and when we’re together next we can talk about it, whenever that may be. Until then, be good to one another because how we treat each other is all that matters in the end. I’ll see you when I see you.

The Socials

Here we are now, some of us, with three new social media accounts since the debacle over at Twitter exploded. Each has its strengths and weaknesses and some are greater or lesser depending on what you want out of it, right?

Find me as @ajasont on these platforms, if you like.

Mastodon is interesting but it doesn’t engage me the way Facebook or Twitter did. Its interface is not friendly to me though I can’t pinpoint exactly why. I see there are things happening there and maybe they’re interesting, but I’m not 100% there enough to find any of them. Hive, on the other hand, massively struggled to keep up with the influx of new users and still hasn’t quite shaken out many of the bugs. It’s infernally slow loading and the servers (I think) are still being taken offline at times. POST on the other hand, is a rich environment to write in, though their sensible approach to adding users makes it a bit lonely over there.

For my money, I want to like Hive the most, but its ups and downs are making that difficult. POST, then, becomes the default but I’m not sure I want to be there all the time. Maybe it’s because I am so comfortable in other social media arenas, or maybe it’s my age, or maybe it’s that I’m kind of burned out on social media. I think that’s why Mastodon doesn’t appeal to me; it’s a lot of work to find things there. Or it was. It’s been several weeks since I tried anything there.

So if you’re out and about on the socials, you can find me pretty easily. Maybe it’s about finding my people, or maybe I’m thinking that the time I spend on social media would be better spent writing. I’m lousy at self-promoting, anyway. Hit me up if you’re in those spheres, though. It’d be nice to talk occasionally. Or you can leave a comment here.

See you when I see you.

Wrap Up and Reset

A Sense of Elation

2022 was supposed to be the year everything moved into place and things were going to change. It’s true that everything moved and change was initiated, it just didn’t go the way I thought it would. But that’s okay. In the end, I’m as happy (and maybe happier) than I would have been if my predictions had come true. The added bonus is that from this vantage, I can enjoy everything a lot more than I might have otherwise. The world turns, mysteries still abide.

Writing was committed.

(And hey, there’s some discussion of GLASS ONION down below so when you see that pop up again, there are potential spoilers. You can’t claim you weren’t warned. It’s not my fault if you’re skimming…)

Hi, I’m Jason and I write stories for you to enjoy if you choose to seek them out.

Through Light and Laughter FlowORGAN OF RECORD

In July I finished a draft of one novella and thought I would dive right into fixing up the other one I had in my hard drive. With some disappointments both personal and professional affecting me more deeply than I had thought at first, I fell into a funk that I didn’t come out of until September. (And that’s the end of the recap, promise.)

But in September I attacked the remaining manuscript and did a bunch of work in revising it. Draft after draft after draft, I was still in love with the story I was creating in THE ENVOY and now, having completed five distinct drafts, I’m still in love with it. I’ve read it a dozen times at least and each draft improved it measurably until its current state of readiness for beta readers. I’m not nervous about sending it out (I’ve been sending a short story out regularly all year without any bites, so I’m even more hardened to rejection) and I know my beta readers are a little anxious to get a look at what I’ve been working on. 

Here’s a tentative pitch, which is the part I struggle to write the most:

A secretive military order goes public in their bid to take over the galactic Empire of Futusin Sah to enrich and empower themselves. The entrenched government wants to maintain the status quo. As the struggle spills into public, Walt’s life and family are in danger. A once powerful envoy trusted by the hereditary ruler of the Empire until his exile, he’s ready with a third option.

Political intrigue and family drama collide in this slam-bang space opera spanning worlds, cultures, and events at once familiar and strange. Can the envoy save anyone?

This is a first blush, or the first blush I’m willing to share, and it’s sure to change but you saw this here before anyone else. It’s running around 43,000 words and will hopefully be out in the first quarter of 2023. I’ll be sure to let you know.

But that wasn’t all I’ve been working on. I’ve got half a dozen short stories almost or completely done and I’ll be figuring out what to do with those in the new year, too. Then there’s the other novella that’s close to ready but needs some love. It will drop before the middle of next year, too. And I’ve begun outlining another solo novella that will continue the story of THE ENVOY from another perspective and I promise that makes sense because there are two more in that series. Stay tuned on that front.

As writing goes, 2023 will be a productive year and will include projects that may never see the light of day but which will inform the writing that does get out into the wild. 

Which is the point of writing. The more you do it, the better you get and it’s not easy to begin with. I haven’t reached the heights I thought were my sure destiny 10 or 15 years ago but that hasn’t discouraged me.

There’s a fire in me stoked by completing a story, a novella, a novel, a script. I want that fire burning hot and I work hard to make sure it’s got the necessary fuel. When the flames flicker and gutter nearly to extinction, that’s a low point like it was this past summer. If I let that happen, if I stop trying to create, I’ll wither. 

Maybe you need to hear this as much as I need to keep saying it to myself, but don’t give up on your creative output. It’s easy to say and fucking difficult to follow through, (for me at least) but each time I think I want to stop I find I can’t. I’m not ready to give up and I’ve been trying to do something positive and creative for over 30 years with varying degrees of success.

I can’t stop. I won’t. I need to keep going.

Don’t Underestimate Our Resolve

I only read 13 books this year, not counting comics and graphic novels, but that’s easily more than I read in the previous two or three years. My favorite book was NOOR by Nnedi Okorafor who I think is an author that every science fiction fan should venerate alongside all the Grandmasters of the genre and I loved NOOR because I’d read her REMOTE CONTROL right before it and I am enamored of all the stories of hers I’ve read. 

Okorafor is a fascinating thinker, too, and between her and Haruki Murakami (his FIRST PERSON SINGULAR hit me hard when I read it this year) I’ve got new heroes to learn from (also including N.K. Jemisin whose latest book is in my to read pile.) Move over Vonnegut, Bradbury, and Heinlein.

And my wife and I finally made it back to a movie theater to see GLASS ONION for the week it was released. We re-watched on Netflix the other day and we found it, both times, to be as much fun as KNIVES OUT was though in different ways. 

I tend to not actually review things here, only say I like them and give a brief explanation of why. (I try very hard not to talk about things I don’t like but AI art may eventually make it into a blog in the future. Sorry.) But there’s a thing in GLASS ONION I want to mention. 

There have been a couple of articles I’ve seen that seem to write off the character of Derol as just a chance for the actor and director to work together again. This actor, Noah Sagen, played the enthusiastic Trooper Wagner (no first name mentioned) in KNIVES OUT. In his first scene there’s a big deal made out of the fact that no one should pay attention to him and Edward Norton’s character plays him off by saying that Derol is “going through some things” and staying on the island but isn’t to be taken as being part of the events of the movie.

This raises some questions for me. It’s classic misdirection and when you note the opening date (May 13, 2020) the story takes place in the midst of the pandemic. Now who knows how far apart KO and GO are in their universe, but there’s no date assigned to KNIVES OUT. That seems like a clue and misdirection is another clue. And each time Derol pops up, it’s to remind us that he’s there more than anything else. 

So here’s the thing: KNIVES takes place before ONION so it’s not that much of a stretch for Rian Johnson to be building a story out of three movies (which he was denied the chance to do in the Star Wars universe, a complicated and typical adventure, all things considered) by taking a character like Trooper Wagner (no first name given) through the pandemic the same way we traversed it. Wagner is, after all, the fanboy of KNIVES and a kind of Greek chorus for the audience. 

I believe that Trooper Wagner IS Derol and we will find out what’s going on with him in the third Knives Out Mystery, whenever that drops. The kicker is that Derol is there watching everything blow up with Benoit Blanc at the end, before Blanc asks his final question of Helen, who ran into Derol when she was creeping through the house earlier. 

There are just too many clues for it to be two friends continuing to work together. I’ll be happy to be wrong about this, but I don’t think I am. Unless this somehow gets to Rian Johnson and I’ve spoiled the fun. I hope not. I don’t know what’s happening with Trooper Wagner/Derol. I only know that I want to know.

At Capacity

This missive has gone on long enough. I leave you with the thought that I hope you have a happy holiday season, that you are warm and fed and loved and have a good piece of entertainment to distract you. I’ll be back in the new year with more about my writing and what I’ve liked. 

Thanks for being here and reading along. I love you for that. I’ll see you when I see you.

LA SOURCIERE

WHISPER A PRAYER FOR THE DYING

It seems the world is already mourning the death of social media because of the acquisition of Twitter by a billionaire whose approach to business is — interesting.

A lot of friends are migrating away from Twitter, looking for the next thing. I’ve been on Twitter since 2008 and I was late to the party then. The history of social media will decide what the issues really are/were and for some it won’t be pretty. I curated my feeds well enough I didn’t experience “the hellsite” that many people (many friends, too) did and I’m not famous enough to have attracted terrible followers. I’m not interested in celebrity blatherings but I do follow politics and that’s always a shitshow but the various dust ups around things I’m interested in always had that element of trolling that I find distasteful.

But I’m not giving up on social media. I’ll maintain my Twitter account, my usually fallow Instagram, and a Facebook presence as well as implement long-simmering plans for my YouTube ‘channel’. I also have a Tumblr that recently celebrated ten years of very irregular posts and a WT.social account that is dusty around the edges but which holds some promise as it aggregates posts according to my interests rather than people I know. 

As we see what’s coming next for social media, I will keep this blog open no matter what. I doubt I’ll ever do a newsletter, but if I’m always here you’ll always know where to find me.

This is your monthly update on things in my world. Hi, I’m Jason and I write stories that I hope you’ll like if you read them. 

ORGAN OF RECORD: Busted

If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll have seen that I’m into revisions on BLACK MOON and it’s going pretty well so far. I started the draft of this novella in February of 2021 when I was searching for something to write that I could come and go from as I finished up my degree. Following an exploratory experience with the periphery of Hollywood, I dug through my files, and found an old mini comic of mine that I am still proud of but which shows a lot of weaknesses in my writing then and definitely in my art. I thought, “why not adapt this into prose and see what happens?”

So I did. I turned a slice of life story into a space opera that wants to be a political thriller, too. I finished the draft in January of 2022 (43,000ish words) and set it aside until I matriculated in June. What I didn’t anticipate was the exhaustion that would take over when I was done with school. Or the emotional toll it would take when my day job career arc was suddenly (and somewhat unexpectedly) scuttled. Or the dozen other things that mounted up and rode like the devil down the slope at me all at once between May and August. 

All the plans I’d made to publish both novellas and begin writing two more this year as well as the plans for 2023 were blown to hell. Nothing will be published this year and next year’s schedule is pushed back at least six months. What’s the maxim about best laid plans?

But I’ve got two manuscripts that I’m proud of. They’re in the queue and I’m plotting one of the novellas and thinking hard about the other. BLACK MOON, however, is taking more time to revise than I might have anticipated back in April. It’s evolving into something more than a straight adaptation and that’s requiring some back-filling to make it look like I knew what I was doing all the time when you get the finished product in hand. Look, writing isn’t as easy as some people may think. To anyone who says they can write a book on a subject (or create a painting based on an abstraction they’ve judged to be equivalent to the work of a pre-schooler) I will always say, “Let me know when it’s done. I’d love to read it.”

(To be honest: I was depressed for several months when everything blew up, and it took things I learned from my therapy experiences to help me deal. [Therapy is important and can be terribly helpful years and years later. If that hand is ever extended to you, I encourage you to take it.] I’m considering going back soon to address some other issues, actually, but we’ll get to that in a minute.)  The point is, I can’t stop creating. If I do, I’ll descend into a miasma of depression with a tendency toward suicidal ideation and I don’t want to go there ever again if I can avoid it. 

Instead, I get so much joy in typing “The End” that when I push the button to publish a thing I’m happy for days and nothing can beat that.

I’M HERE IN YOUR FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE

Nowadays, everyone’s an expert on everything from fixing a leaky toilet to the proper execution of adapting books and comics to film and television (as well as the special effects involved). It’s a blessing and a curse and we, as a society, are smug when we get the inside joke or understand an oblique reference such as the Wilhelm Scream.

2022 was a good year for me learning more about the planet Krypton prior to its destruction. As a lifelong Superman fan, getting WORLD OF KRYPTON (by Venditti and Oeming) and HOUSE OF EL: THE ENEMY DELUSION (the second of Claudia Gray and Eric Zawadzki’s trilogy of graphic novels, the third of which is coming next month) is a real gift. Superman is a character that some people struggle with and these two stories don’t address the Man of Steel directly, but rather give the reader an idea of where he came from and how that society might reflect or intersect with our own.

Because we’re human and we have no idea what an alien society actually is, the authors and artists have to put themselves in a position where they’re taking ideas common among Earth societies and extrapolating them to different conclusions. Sometimes it’s successful (as in these two series) and sometimes it’s not, or it’s successful to far lesser degrees. 

I think what makes “experts” ‘hate’ a piece of fiction (or storytelling) is that they disagree with the conclusion the creator reaches in their work. They think it’s ‘untrue’ for whatever reason and then take it to an extreme and allow emotions to take control. This leads to less understanding of what the intention of the work is and a self-satisfied social media post that sometimes goes viral, garnering more comments from more experts with more and more opinions that reinforce the initially uninformed one. 

My feelings about 2013’s MAN OF STEEL film are mixed, but overall I find the film entertaining and a fine entry into the filmed adventures of Superman (making me one of a very small minority). (In general I find a lot to like in adaptations of comics to film and tv. They are such different mediums that not everything translates, and after all – the source material will always exist for your enjoyment if the adaptation is not to your taste.) Your mileage may vary from mine and that’s okay. I understand the issues of the film clearly, but the intent of the filmmakers didn’t reach a large swath of viewers because of them. (The wanton destruction is appropriate to a hero who isn’t in full possession of his powers yet but there’s no heroism shown when he should have realized they were destroying everything in sight, is the big one.) Still, if we took the time to be a little more understanding, to see the creators as human beings doing their best even if they fall short, perhaps we’d be less acidic on social media. 

And that would apply to a lot of things, not just entertainment. The opening sequence of the film shows a Krypton I want to know more about and I’m getting that from Venditti & Oeming’s comic as well as Gray & Zawadzki’s graphic novels. (Why is Jor-El more in tune with nature than Zod? Were there others like him? How did this sit with the council?) If the intent of the film was to create an opening for stories like these to be told and for us to accept them and enjoy them, then it’s a success. I don’t know if that’s the intent, but I would like to believe that someone in the chain said “let’s keep these things connected in some small way because they’re worthwhile.”

If ultra hardass Army Colonel Hardy (Guardian) comes to the conclusion that “[t]his man is not our enemy” maybe the rest of us can, too. As for how to come to terms with Superman as a character, I highly recommend reading SUPERMAN SMASHES THE KLAN by Gene Luen Yang and Gurihiru. 

AT CAPACITY

Well, that’s a lot isn’t it? After my annual physical, I got some news that I need to change some behaviors for health reasons. It’s the usual stuff for someone my age and I’m not in any danger — yet — but if I don’t change, I will be. The problem is these behaviors are so deeply ingrained it’s going to be a real challenge for me to make these necessary changes to my lifestyle. I want to live a longer, happier, more active life because I’ve got a lot of stories I want to tell. What am I going do? 

I’m going to try. 

That’s all we can do, right? If I’m as determined to change my behavior as I am to tell my stories I can do this. I will need help, likely from a therapist, so I can address the whys of my behaviors and with the support of my wife and some dear, dear friends, I’m confident I can change and make it stick so that I’m around a good long while to keep growing as a creator and a person. 

If we all keep trying to be better in some small ways, there’s nothing we can’t accomplish. Believe in yourself. Find a way through and when we get to the other side it’ll all be worth it.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate your time and if you’ve read any of my books, please leave a review (even just a rating) and help others find my work. I love you all. See you when I see you.

The Hum

Scritchy Scritchy

When I was in school, especially the last two years, I fell in love with pencils again. I bought a little sharpener and box of No. 2 pencils and used them for all my notes and homework in that time. Since I graduated, I’ve continued the use and find that I love the way the graphite scratches across paper, the feel of the pressed wood barrel in my hand, and even the smell of them. When I’m typing I may tuck them behind my ear or grip it with my teeth like a dog with a bone. There’s something very, very satisfying about pencils that recalls grade school and childhood.

Hi, I’m Jason and I write science fiction (mostly) adventures that I hope you’ll read and enjoy. I’m the only one to blame for that.

Pencils, man. They make you look smarter.Organ of Record

When I finished school I had such grand plans to write and write and capitalize on my newly ingrained homework habits. Life, of course, had other ideas and August and September have turned out to be a total loss as far as creativity goes. However, the last two weeks have seen me start and nearly complete 1 short story, begin 2 others, and finish the first pass revisions on a solo novella. So as bad as things were – and there was despair at times – there’s blue sky above for as far as I can see. I feel like myself again. The ideas are flowing freely. Words are coming, my critical eye is kicking in, and I’m back. I’m finally fucking back at it.

There was a lot going on – a LOT – in my life in July and August and September just sort of got caught up in it all and gave in to the melancholy. Some of that translated into the shorts that are in progress and somehow more promising than what I anticipated but a lot of it I had to actually deal with. It’s the sort of average, everyday stuff that everyone deals with but my focus had been so finely tuned to one aspect of my life that when it all blew up, I wasn’t sure what to do. Crying wasn’t enough, drinking sure didn’t help, and being a lump on the couch watching whatever was on TV was worse for me than the things that exploded. Grief gets into you and doesn’t let go, doesn’t relent. Grief is powerful and can be overwhelming, especially when piled up, but it ends, eventually, and life begins anew.

Or at least, that’s where I’m at now.

I finally finished my read-through of BLACK MOON and have copious notes about this and that, but most of it was about character. When I sat down to start compiling these notes (because I print out the manuscript and write on it like I’m grading a paper) I realized I should focus more on the characters and see what delineating them more would do for the plot.

Turns out quite a lot. As I’m fleshing out these wonderful and not-so-wonderful people, I’m making more notes about scenes that need to be added that show the things that are now really important about the characters and add a whole lot more depth to the world of the story. It’s a wonky process to write, read, define the characters, then revise, but that’s exactly what I’m doing. And I like it. It’s got me excited for the story AND the process. I feel like, after months of crap, I’m finally back to where I thought I would be at the end of June.

So I’m revising my plans, as one does, and settling in for some writing that I hope will indicate a leveling up for me. Cross your fingers.

At Capacity

Please don’t hesitate to reach out to that person in your life who can help you work through the bullshit that weighs you down. Your friends love you and want you to be happy, which I’m sure you want for them, too. The thing you have to do is recognize what it is that will get you to a place where you can be happy. In my experience it’s not money or time to do whatever I want, but time spent doing the thing that I love the most: writing.

I have to create in any way I know how, or my mental health will skid off the rails and send me careening down a dark, dark path. So I take time off from work to take a day and just be with a piece I’m writing. Recently I had about three and a half days that I spent with friends, my wife and a manuscript and it was the most glorious vacation I’ve had in months. The pandemic did things to us, changed us in fundamental ways that it will take years to recover from.

But one of the things I hope doesn’t change is that comfort of being alone with my thoughts. When we were in lockdown, I spent time alone in the house with my wife also spending time alone when we both would have been working if the pandemic had never happened. I find, now that things are returning to what once was ‘normal,’ that I miss those hours I don’t get any more. Or not as often. Routines were disrupted into new routines that have also been disrupted but aren’t quite the same as they were before.

So if you’re like me, you should take the time to do what makes you happiest then share that with your loved ones. I hope you take care of yourself and get regular physicals as well as check in on your mental health. You’re the only you we’ve got.

Truer words were never printed. Source: https://boingboing.net/2010/09/01/woody-guthrie-pencil.html

I’ll see you when I see you.

The Breaks

One Minute Here, One Minute There

Our future is determined by the choices we make, yes? Good or bad, we are in a place of our own making because we did or said something that led to here. (Of course there are things that exert pressure on us to choose one way or another, but we are each mostly in control of what we choose.) Would it be valuable to go back and explore different choices or is it better to simply leave well enough alone and try to make better choices in the future? Hi, I’m Jason and I hope that you’ll choose to read things I write.

Organ of Record

Not much actual writing since the last entry other than doing research on the Milky Way, making notes, and hammering at some plot things, but that’s okay. Sometimes you need to reset after major life changes: take some time to rest, to do things you’d been putting off, see friends, or just sleep.

One of the things I’ve been working on is cleaning up my home office. For four years I worked away to get my bachelor’s degree and once I’d finished class I had time to figure out I was capital-Tee Tired. Exhausted is probably more accurate, but either way my brain was fried. Add in some stress in seeking a promotion at the day job and ultimately not getting it and you will have an inkling of what kind of tired I’ve been. It’s cool that I’m finally starting to think in terms of what I want to write and how I want to present it again, but it’s been too much to focus on actual fingers on keys writing.

But the home office. It was a wreck. Not the desk, necessarily, but my bulletin board over it is full of exhortations to keep plugging away, old deadlines now passed, ideas stuck willy-nilly here and there on scraps of paper and multicolored Post-Its and a couple of notes about the Kansas City Chiefs and their Super Bowl appearances. And the rest of the space is a junkyard of stacks of books, clothes I need to get rid of, and tons of paper that needs to be filed, shredded, or recycled. The path around my desk to the closet is just wide enough for the dog to turn around in and that needs to change. My time in chaos is over.

As I’ve been reorganizing, I’ve been reading bits and pieces of manuscripts I’ve unearthed (as I noted last time) and if I think about all the things I want to do with my writing, and the time I have now to do them, it will still take 10 years to accomplish it all. The least I can do is organize it. For now, it’ll be strategically placed piles because the jones to write is growing again.

Last week on Twitter, I pointed to this thread. Here’s the initial tweet:

From Twitter: https://twitter.com/rapscallison/status/1562442998717509635

And that dovetailed with a rabbit hole I’d been down recently regarding workshops, which can be great for some and terrible for others. I’d never considered anything about workshops being difficult for anyone based on the model. I think it’s essential that every person have enough information to determine that a group or service (of ANY kind) is of value to them, and that there are alternatives as much as possible. It’s a lofty dream, friends, but one I hope comes true. If you’ve got time, read up on the phenomenon starting with S.L. Huang’s history of writer’s workshops.

Remember, friends, writing isn’t just about the act of writing a story.

At CapacityA recent shopping list of mine.

A couple of friends have made forays back into music recently and I, still possessing an instrument from my youth, decided that I would like to learn some songs that I’ve been listening to obsessively. I retrieved the dusty Bentley acoustic with ancient strings from a corner of the office, struggled to tune it, and spent an hour reacquainting myself with chords and progressions I loved when I played in bands a hundred thousand years ago. I enjoyed it enough that I went out to buy new strings for the first time in 20+ years.

Playing some music and noodling around in an art I haven’t participated in for a while brought me real joy, which I desperately needed. My wife was surprised to hear me playing and seemed pleased by it and so did the dog. My fingers, however, showed that they were very unfamiliar with the process of forming chords and trying to move around the fretboard quickly.

There’s little danger of me inflicting any music of my own on you, so don’t worry. But having this other form of expression available again has kindled some excitement for writing more sooner than later. Recovering from the stress of the past 4 years is taking longer than I hoped, but playing some music and learning some new songs is something that I didn’t know I needed 6 months ago. My heart is full again, I guess.

I’m reading more (two books at once: Monica Byrne’s THE ACTUAL STAR and William MacAskill’s WHAT WE OWE THE FUTURE, with a collection of Haruki Murakami short stories on deck) and catching up on shows I’ve missed (including LOCKE & KEY, which is wonderful and compares nicely with SANDMAN (yes, I’m aware of the comics crossover)).

All that’s missing is the diploma that’s coming next month. I think once that’s here, I’ll be able to really get started again on being my creative self. Thank you for spending some time with me here, I’ll have more when there’s something to report. In the meantime, take good care of yourself. I hope your boss sees you as a whole person, too. I’ll see you when I see you.