Ruth Harris's Blog, page 11

A woman, a babe, a bitch, a nutcase, a holy terror (not necessarily in that order).

Here they are:
Clarice Starling, the FBI agent in Silence of the Lambs (played by Jodie Foster in the film), must face her fears—and Hannibal Lector—to solve the identity of a serial killer but she has no personal life that we know of.  She's a nun, FBI-style, and she doesn’t give up until the case is solved.Jane Tennison, the DI in television’s Prime Suspect, played by Hellen Mirren, is a “woman of a certain age” as they say in France. Her love life is on the gritty side, she drinks too much, she can be flinty—not flirtatious. The men she works with give her a hard time and she isn’t shy about pushing back.Carrie Mathison, the bi-polar CIA agent in Homeland, who has sex with the suspected terrorist. Carrie is also “single,  childless, moody, and she refuses to fit in.”Maya, The young CIA officer, played by Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty, is tough-minded, focused and willing to contradict senior officers in her quest to find the al Qaeda terrorist, Osama bin Laden.Nurse Ratched, in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. Wikipedia describes her like this: “the ward is run by steely, unyielding Nurse Mildred Ratched (Louise Fletcher), who employs subtle humiliation, unpleasant medical treatments and a mind-numbing daily routine to suppress the patients.”Annie Wilkes, a former nurse, cuts off her favorite writer’s foot with an axe and cauterizes the wound with a blowtorch. Played by  Cathy Bates in the movie, Annie is the unforgettable, over-the-top “difficult” woman in Stephen King’s bestseller, Misery.Riley, as played by Sigourney Weaver, is the warrant officer in Alien. She is courageous, authoritative and has no personal life that we know of. She’s a sci-fi heroine who must rely on her own guts, brains and fearlessness.Mrs. Danvers, the creepy housekeeper with no first name in Rebecca, is dedicated to her dead employer, the first Mrs. Maxim de Winter. She is intimidating, manipulative and willing to drive the second Mrs. DeWinter to suicide.Glenn Close, the murderous seductress in Fatal Attraction lives alone, has no family that we are aware of and is psychopathically determined to get what she wants.Judi Dench as M is the head of MI6. She is blunt, unmarried as far as we know although in one scene it is clear she is sleeping with a male companion. She is James Bond’s boss and does not flinch from bossing him around and dressing him down for his recklessness.   So what does the tough, determined, bossy, or downright crazy woman offer the reader—or the writer?
Shock: The “difficult” female character can—and will—do the shocking, the unexpected and, as a consequence, will give your story an immediate jolt of energy. She is the character who doesn’t fit the mold. She is the boss (M), the beginner (Clarice Starling), the domestic employee (Mrs. Danvers).Sizzle:  The “difficult” female character will live in the “wrong” neighborhood, drink too much, have sex with the “wrong” partners—all good ways to add sizzle and wow! plot twists.Stock car races:  She will not take her niece or nephew to Disney World but to a stock car race one day, to the ballet the next and teach him or her how to run a bulldozer, how to roast the perfect chicken and how to rob a bank. Drama:  She will most likely not be a secretary or a dress designer but a (believable) nuclear physicist,  petroleum engineer or cat burglar. If she is a secretary or dress designer, it’s because she’s got a dramatic secret that will give your fiction a buzz.Rescue:  She will never do the expected or the conventional: she will not give up a career or a promotion for Mr. Right. She will not fall madly in love, swoon into someone’s arms and make irrational choices although she might be an excellent and loyal lover. She can be stubborn, pathological, repellent but she can be the larger-than-life character who will come to your rescue.
So, Ruth, what did she ever do for you?
A holy terror named Chessie Tillman bailed me out of a dead end in Brainwashed, a thriller that takes place in the sour, paranoid 1970’s of Watergate and Vietnam. Because the book is a political thriller, I needed a politician and I had one. I thought. Except he was so stupefyingly boring he brought the plot, the book—and me—to a dead halt.
I fretted and stewed. Bitched and complained. I couldn’t figure out what happened next or who did what to whom. Color me one very very unhappy writer.  Then, popping out from the murk of my unhappiness, along came Chessie.

Senator Chessie Tillman’s parents wanted a boy. What they got was her. She was short, dumpy, and dressed like a rag picker. She smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish, swore like a sailor. She had been married three times, each husband richer and more handsome than the one before.  

A roof-rattling orator and take-no-prisoners arm-twister, Chessie Tillman had mowed down men twice her size. In a series of headline-making speeches, she expressed the nation’s disgust with the sleazy goings-on of the Watergate scandal. In Senate hearings she faced down the beribboned generals who were bullshitting the public about the alleged “progress” being made in the high-body-count, vastly expensive, and increasingly pointless war in Vietnam. 

She was blunt, fearless, and had a big mouth. When something bothered her, she didn’t give up and she didn’t give in. America had never seen a politician like her. Right now, sitting behind the desk in her shambles of an office in the Senate office building, she had a new bug up her ass.”

Lesson learned: When in deep doo-doo, don't forget the woman, the chick, the babe, the nutcase, the bitch. She can—and will—come to your rescue.

Question asked: If you're a reader, what over-the-top female characters do you recall most vividly? If you're a writer, has an over-the-top female character ever come to the rescue?


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Rules for renegades: good housekeeping for writers.

Are you drowning in a sea of ugly clutter? Is your kitchen a dingy mess? And what about those annoying dust bunnies under the sofa? 

You know: when the plot mystifies even the author, when a character has all the charm and allure of a dead flounder, when verbs are passive, nouns meh and adjectives rust in the front yard. 

Take a hike /go to the gym/get on your bike. Or, God forbid, do the dishes, take out the garbage or get out the vacuum cleaner. Bottom line: get away from your desk and move. I’ve told my DH at least a million times that a body in motion is a mind in motion. (Who says living with a writer isn’t one thrill after another?)

 Coffee? For me, it’s tea. Freshly brewed Darjeeling, Assam, Keemun or Green Jasmine delivers a mild hit of caffeine. Leaving my desk, going into the kitchen, warming the teapot, boiling the water, measuring the tea, waiting for it to brew—often breaks the oh-shit-now-what? cycle. 

Switch to a pad and pen if you write on your computer. Or, if you write longhand, vice versa. Slowing down or speeding up makes a difference. At least it does for me.

Talk the problem out with someone. In my case, my DH (lucky man). Very often, it’s not what he says. It’s what I say. Turns out I had the solution all along; I just didn’t know it.

Read . Sports writers are great at describing  action. (Good verbs on the sports page.) Fashion magazines, style blogs and catalogs are filled with inspiring descriptions of clothing. Beauty and grooming sites focus on looks. The business pages are a source for occupations and careers. The tabs are an endless wellspring of sex and scandal. Niche magazines or blogs—bass fishing, ice climbing, stamp collecting, arctic biology—can jar you out of your impasse.

Blurb  the book that’s giving you grief. Sometimes I get lost in the trees and need to step back and see the forest again. Writing the blurb is a way to re-focus.

Procrastinate . Seriously. Take a nap. Or a shower. Knit or crochet. Build a model airplane. Pull weeds in the garden. Try a new recipe. Go to a party. Watch a movie. Go to a concert or the ballet or a baseball game. Sometimes you get ahead of yourself and just need a little time (procrastination)  to catch up.

Kill your darlings—not. Every time I start a new book, I open a file called “To Be Used?” Whenever I wonder if a darling should be killed, I park it here so I haven’t actually killed my darling, just put him/her into the literary equivalent of a medically-induced coma. You never know when a darling is going to come to the rescue.

Hit the delete button. When your prose is lumpy and clumpy, when the plot grinds to a halt, when whatever can go wrong has gone wrong, don’t spend time/waste energy trying to fix the problem. Just cut that sucker and paste it in your “To Be Used?” file and continue. Either it will die a slow death in there or else the solution will pop into your head later. Either way, it’s a win-win.

Indulge . Booze, wine, chocolate have been tried and found guilty of putting that inner scold/second-guesser in its place and unleashing the imagination. Just don’t get so loaded you can’t read your notes the next day or so fat you can’t waddle to your computer. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Go back to work and give it another try. It’s gonna be OK. Really.

Buy one of my books. Because you never know where your next great idea will come from. ;-)

Yay! Long weekend. Enjoy!

No post today just my best wishes for a great weekend.
If you love notebooks, check out last week's post, one of my most popular evah!
If you're in the mood for a good book, why not try one of mine or one by Anne R. Allen?
Other than that, stay safe and have a blast!

My name is Ruth and I'm addicted. To notebooks.

Because no writer ever knows when his/her next great idea will strike, I am surrounded by notebooks. On my desk, at my place on the dining room table, on my night table, in my bag, in pockets and purses. Made in the U.S., France, Germany, Japan. Wherever I go, I love to browse stationery and office supply stores and now that back-to-school shopping is in full swing, I will indulge my obsession with notebooks. Here are some of my faves:


"I'm not writing it down to remember it later.
I'm writing it down to remember it now."
Field Notes Love the color!
Rollbahn, despite the German-sounding
 name, is Japanese. German and superb quality. Amazon has them here. I've used Rhodia notebooks for years. Widely available.
 I get them at my local stationery store but Amazon has them here. Moleskine in snappy Hermès orange.  Here. Kokuyo makes beautifully designed notebooks.
 I first found them in a Japanese store in NYC
 but Amazon has them as does Jetpens. Clairfontaine is also widely available.
If I were French, I probably would have used these in school.


I am relieved to report that I am not alone in my notebook obsession. There's an entire blog devoted to notebooks here. Must reading!
Office Supply Geek, obsessed with all things office, dedicates time and space to notebooks here. More must-reading for the notebook obsessed.
Do you have a favorite notebook? Are you obsessed? Is there a notebook I haven't mentioned that I absolutely must have? Please do share in the comments.
These notes of mine end up in books so here's the pitch:Award-winning historical romance and USA Today Bestselling contemporary romance winner, Vanessa Kelly's take on The Chanel Caper in Love Rocks.

"Set primarily in the world of fashion and advertising in New York City, THE CHANEL CAPER features a fifty-six year old heroine who is smart, sardonic, and whose marriage to her sexy, ex-cop husband has hit a rough patch. Blake Weston makes for a fabulous heroine, watching in some bemusement as her husband Ralph, now head of security for a large international corporation, goes into mid-life crisis. For Ralph, this involves extreme workouts in an effort to recapture his youthful vigor, a new wardrobe, and a flirtation with a bombshell war correspondent doing everything she can to get Ralph between the sheets. Blake, naturally, has no intention of allowing her beloved husband of twenty-five years to slip away from her.


"In an ongoing effort to upmarket her own outdated style and rekindle some romance in her marriage, Blake buys a faux Chanel handbag from a street vendor. This sets off a chain of wild events that includes murder, explosions, counterfeit drug rings, and the pursuit of suspects and warlords from Shanghai to Afghanistan. The Chanel Caper is a romantic comedy, a thriller, and a send-up of the big city lifestyle in the wake of the global financial crisis. All the disparate elements of this very funny story are tethered by the engaging Blake, a smart, sensible, and dryly witty heroine intent on saving her marriage. It’s definitely a romance for the grownups, set against the backdrop of the bright lights of the city that never sleeps."


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Downhill (or not what it used to be). Not that I'm in such great shape, either.

DOWNHILL (OR, NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE)From Edward R. Murrow to Wolf Blitzer.From Audrey Hepburn to Lindsay Lohan.
From JP Morgan to Bernie Madoff.From Julia Child to Paula Deen.From Ernest Hemingway to EL James.From Dr. Freud to Dr. Phil.From Rockefeller and Vanderbilt to The Donald.No wonder I’m so p*ssed off. Not just because pretty soon I’m going to turn sixty and not just today but just about all the time and just about everywhere.On line at the supermarket where I have to pack my own groceries.At the gas station where I have to pump my own gas.On hold listening to the robot telling me my call is important.At the twenty minutes of trailers and commercials that precede every movie.At the ads that precede internet videos.At cellphones and their rude, clueless users.At Metro cards that don’t work on first swipe, at double length buses that make Manhattan’s terrible traffic worse.At a decade that began with Enron and ended with Bernie Madoff & Too Big To Fail.You name it, it bugged me.And, right now, you could add Ralph to the list.
Just because we’d been married since about forever did it really mean he had to go on a diet, start exercising, and buy a fancy new wardrobe?How come he had more—and more expensive—beauty products than I did?Since when did he spend more time in front of the mirror than I did?Was it really fair that, almost sixty, he looked like Gregory Peck while I, just a few years younger, was beginning to look like Phyllis Diller?Why did women who weren’t even born the year we got married look at Ralph with goo-goo eyes and why did Ralph have to look back?“The male menobleep,” diagnosed Julia Makins, my bff who’d been married three times, divorced twice and widowed once.Still, I wondered what happened to Ralph and me. The sizzle was gone, domesticity had set in, time and gravity had had their way with both of us.Or was it just me?
I remember college like it was yesterday and our first apartment, a fourth floor walkup, in a neighborhood so crummy local gang members wouldn’t even hang out there. I remember my first job at Click magazine and the day Ralph retired from the NYPD. I remember when and why George Profett, the city’s most neurotic billionaire, hired Ralph to be his Vice President in charge of Security.I remember all those things—and more—but the more important question is how did I get to be almost sixty?What happened to all those years between college and now? How did they go by so fast? What was I doing? Why didn’t I notice?When, exactly, did I get to be invisible?When did empty taxis start passing me by and when did the feral perfume ladies in Bloomingdale’s no longer bother to assault me with a spritz? When, exactly, did people stop listening to me—even when I knew more about the subject at hand than anyone else in the room?When did my shoe size go from 7 to 8 and my bra size from 34 to 36 even though I hadn’t gained weight (well, not much, anyway)?When did I stop reading Vogue and start sleeping in flannel pajamas all year because our apartment was cold in the winter and Ralph blasted the air conditioner in the summer?Was I one of those women who had let herself go?Was I about to get dumped for someone newer and younger?Did I need bikini boot camp, a face lift, a Brazilian wax?Would a new hair color, a different shade of lipstick or a pair of crotchless panties get Ralph to pay attention to me?As it turned out, not one of those things made a damn bit of difference. What made the difference was murder in Shanghai, a dire threat from Billionaire George delivered in a cheapo Vietnamese restaurant, a gung-ho war correspondent with a humongous pair of 36 Double D’s, a washed-up Martha Stewart wannabe trying to make a come back with the help of a red balconette bra and a showdown with a one-eyed, one-lagged Afghan warlord who didn’t speak a word of English.It all began the day I bought a fake Chanel bag from a sidewalk vendor on East Fifty-third Street. I was thrilled with my purchase and knew Ralph, a label snob, would be impressed. Anxious to show off my new bag, I headed for the office, moving faster than I had in years.So fast, I didn’t notice I was being followed.
So, readers, how has it been for you? Are you getting older? Or better? Please share in the comments. I'm listening.
If you liked ↑that↑, you'll (probably) like ↓this↓

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The Writer's Toolbox: Must-Haves for Today's Author, with Links to FREE Downloads

As a follow up to Anne R. Allen’s recent post, How To Get A Book Published, I listed the must-haves and the beyond-the-basics that belong in every writer’s toolbox last week on Anne's blog. Since so many found the information helpful, I thought I would publish an encore here for those who missed it first time around.

Even writers just starting out will probably already have at least some of these tools, but there is so much out there on the web with new stuff appearing constantly, much of it FREE, that we want to round up what’s currently available.

The tools vary in cost from pricey to moderate (usually meaning around $35 or $40) to modest (under $10) and many are FREE. Most of the paid apps offer generous try-before-you-buy terms and conduct occasional sales or specials. All provide tutorials, on-line manuals, user forums and/or reviews on-line.

The popularity of ebooks and self publishing has also caused a revolution in word processors. They have evolved far beyond the usual spell check and grammar check. Most can compile your book or short story into epub and mobi files and some even give you the tools to create your cover.

THE MUST HAVES

MSWord is the Big Kahuna, the most basic word processor of all and comes in versions for the PC and the Mac. For years MSWord has been the industry classic: the app editors and agents prefer. Has its lovers and haters but it’s powerful, sometimes kind of klutzy, and can do just about anything.

In addition to all the word processing basics, MSWord can format your book into epub and mobi files for upload. India Drummond, an indie publisher, has created an excellent video tutorial here.

MSWord also provides the tools that will allow you to create your cover. I did say it was powerful, didn’t I? Here’s one on-line tutorial about making a cover in MSWord. 
Scrivener comes in PC and Mac versions and is coming—soon! everyone hopes—for iOS. Almost infinitely flexible, Scriv is a must-have for many writers including me. If you’ve never used Scriv, there’s a bit of a learning curve but it’s quite intuitive and very logical once you get the hang of it.

The manual is extensive, the video tutorials are excellent and the help forumis outstanding. Keith Blount, Scriv’s developer, often appears to answer questions and his savvy crew is responsive and will walk you through any dilemmas.

Like MSWord, Scriv compiles to both epub and mobi and does it so fast that at first I thought nothing happened and I’d done something wrong. Bottom line: 5 stars all the way.

Nisus (pronounced Nice-us, for Mac only) is a less well known but superb word processor, one I’ve used for years. Moderately priced Nisus works well with Scriv, it’s elegant but powerful, very stable, and you can compile your epubs and mobis from within the Pro version. Their user forum is terrific and Martin—I think he’s one of the developers—is there to answer questions and help troubleshoot.

Atlantis (PC oriented) is a full-featured, moderately-priced MSWord lookalike. Comes with a try-before-you-buy offer, offers on-line help and user’s forum. Atlantis can do much of what MSWord does including turn your text into an epub or mobi file.

Google Documents is cloud based, fast, responsive, and FREE. Google docs does its job well and is particularly useful for collaborators who can log in from different locations and work together. Since Docs is cloud based, you get off-site back up along with a fine basic word processor.

Pages (Mac only) is iOS native, a modestly priced ($9.99) word processor to use on your iPad, iPhone, iPod. Pages also compiles to epub and mobi.

In addition to the brand names listed above, there are also FREE word processors available on-line. You will find a round up plus reviews of FREE word processors for the PC here. 

FREE for the Mac is a clean and simple word processor called Bean.

BACK UPS

You do back up, don’t you? Because if you don’t you’d better start NOW! (For a tragic, cautionary tale, here's a story from the Kindleboards about a writer whose laptop was stolen from his car recently.)

Dropbox is so ubiquitous and so essential for off-site back up that it’s a must-have. It’s FREE, creates one file in the cloud and another on your desktop as you work. DB also synchs all your devices and works seamlessly with both mobile and desktop apps.

Microsoft offers FREE cloud storage called SkyDrive and Apple’s version is called (guess what?) iCloud. Google’s cloud storage, Drive, is also FREE and works on all popular systems.

Mozy, Carbonite, and CrashPlan are remote backup services. All offer a FREE trial and various subscription plans for personal and business back up.

In the two weeks since I wrote the post, more FREE apps have come to my attention. Today (August 8, 2013)  The New York Times profiles three of them: Box, Cubby, and CloudMagic. The deets are here.

Publishing blogger Passive Guy—he’s worked on computers for thirty years and knows first hand the soul-searing tragedy of lost work—details his belts-and-suspenders back up method here.

ORGANIZATION

Evernote is a powerful, FREE note keeping app that works on all platforms. Searchable by keyword or tags, includes reminder and web clipping functions, great for keeping research including images, for brainstorming ideas, for parking stuff you’re not yet sure what to do with. Cloud-based, syncs across all your devices. I consider Dropbox (or some form of cloud backup system) and Evernote indispensable.

Blogger Elizabeth Joss wrote a helpful post about how she uses Evernote to get organized and be more productive.


E-BOOK MANAGERS AND CREATORS

Calibre is a FREE e-book manager that does e-book file conversion, synchs your devices and manages your library.

Sigil, another FREE download runs on Windows, Linux and Mac. Sigil lets you edit epub files and comes with an on-line manual and user forum. As far as I know, right now there is nothing similar for editing mobi files which is where Calibre comes in. You edit your epub in Sigil, then use Calibre to convert to mobi.

Jutoh (Windows, Mac, and Linux) is a moderately-priced app that creates ebooks (including covers) in all the popular file formats.

ADD-ONS AND NICE TO HAVE


Do you have any useful to can’t-live-without apps I’ve overlooked? Anne and I want—and need—your help in building a useful writers’ resource!
BOOK BARGAIN OF THE WEEK
This month, Anne's irresistible bestseller, Sherwood, Ltd, is 99c for Kindle US, UK, Nook, and FREE on Smashwords and  on Kobo. And for book-sniffers, it is available in paper for the marked-down price of $8.54. (regularly $8.99 on Amazon and $12.99 in stores.)  It's also on sale in paper in the in the UK for £6.81.


"It's not yer typical whodunnit, nor is the protagonist anything like a cop. Ms. Allen has crafted a wily tale of murder, deceit, and intrigue that can stand with the best of them. Her characters are all too real and her dialogue took me from laughter to chills to suspicion of everybody in the book. Good on her!

Editorially, the book is also refreshingly well-done and all but devoid of grammatical or other such gaffes. This was obviously written by an intelligent woman who is also a fine story-teller. My congratulations to her.

My suggestion? Read this book. It will be well worth the time."...David Keith

Special note from Anne and me to Camilla fans: If you've enjoyed any of the Camilla books, I hope you'll consider writing a review here. Once a book makes the bestseller lists, the trolls come out. And of course, comedy is always subjective. Genuine reviews from Camilla fans would be a huge help right now.

Scene Rescue—When Collaborators Disagree & Live To Tell The Tale

Love doesn’t always run a smooth path (no kidding!) and neither does collaboration. There are inevitably going to be times when you and your co-author—in my case my DH, Michael—don’t see a character, a scene, even a line of dialogue the same way. Most of the time while we were writing HOOKED Michael and I were in synch but there was one scene about which we had radically different opinions. I hated it so much I deleted it. Michael, appalled, retrieved it from the trash.The scene occurs midway through the book and involves two characters. One is Gavin Jenkins, the brilliant and charismatic doctor who is at the center of the story. The other is Adriana Partos, a world-famous concert pianist who retired at the request of her lover, billionaire tycoon, Nicky Kiskalesi. Now, however, Nicky misses Adriana’s fame and celebrity and wants her to come out of retirement.The problem is that arthritis has made it impossible for Adriana to play without pain. Nicky, who didn’t get rich by giving up, suggests she consult Gavin Jenkins, a doctor who, it seems, can cure almost anything. Adriana, reluctant but also afraid of losing Nicky, agrees to meet with Gavin.As the scene was originally drafted, Adriana dislikes Gavin for intuitive reasons: she finds him slick and cold although no specific reasons are given. The scene, based on her instinctive dislike, seemed weak and unconvincing to me: ergo, the delete button. Michael convinced me the scene was necessary and could be made to work.The question was: how? I trust Michael’s opinions so we had several conversations about why I hated the scene and why he thought it essential. We finally got to an agreement point when we decided that “something” specific had to happen in the scene to validate Adriana’s dislike of Gavin, a dislike so intense that she slaps him and walks out of his consulting room.Having no idea of what the “something” was, I went to the computer to rewrite the scene. I took out the language referring to her “intuitive” dislike of his “coldness” and “hidden” personality. When I got to the exact lines that describe Gavin taking her arm in an intimate, almost caressing way and giving her the shot for which he has become known, the words, coming straight from my unconscious to the keyboard, emerged on the screen: “You’ve never felt this good, have you?” he whispers as he presses down on the syringe and the fluid enters her vein.That brief line of dialogue—completely unanticipated—was a result of our previous conversations about the characters and the scene and gave us the “something” we needed.In response, Adriana slaps Gavin, he calls her a bitch and tries to give her a second (different) injection but, by then, she has left. The scene ends with her standing outside his office and remembering the bulge in his pants. Was she seeing things? Imagining things? Or did he have an erection as he administered the shot?Since we already know about Gavin’s sexual quirks from earlier scenes, we now had a compelling scene that advances the plot, creates conflict between Adriana and the gifted doctor whose help she will need and adds a new dimension to Gavin’s intriguing, mysterious character.Sometimes disagreement is the friction that produces the pearl. You just have to get from there to here.


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The Beatles, Ed Sullivan—and my DH, Michael

Ed first learns I have written a book when I hand him a finished manuscript. Naively, I imagine he'll be flattered, but when he reads it, he blows his stack and stops speaking to me.  He's furious. I am revealing more about him, more backstage gossip and more details about the inner workings of the show than he wants made public.
Fortunately for me and for Always On Sunday, Ed simmers down eventually and decides my unauthorized biography is "magnificent." He promotes it in his newspaper column, in interviews and in joint television appearances with me.  Ed helps turn the book he initially hated into a national bestseller.
During my 11 years on the Sullivan show, no one created more excitement than the Beatles. February 7, 1964: Kennedy Airport.  Their first trip to the United States.  The screaming fans!  The haircuts!  The sassy answers!  Welcome to New York!  The entire country focuses on this place and these young men.  Including me.  I am meeting their plane. A CBS public relations executive for years. Now the network's press representative on "The Ed Sullivan Show."
Ed was warned not to sign the Beatles: "You're crazy! No British group has ever made it big in this country." A month before they arrive, they are still unknown in America. Every reporter I contact turns down my invitation to go with me to JFK.
Two weeks later, "I Want To Hold Your Hand" rockets to the top of the charts.  Beatlemania crosses the Atlantic, and I am besieged by thousands of ticket requests. Reporters plead to join me at JFK.
On February 14, I greet the Beatles again, this time in Miami for a second Sullivan show.  I do my best to stay out of the way but, thanks to papparazzi determined to cash in on every shot of the Fab Four, I appear in photos published around the world (including the NY Post). In the captions I am called a Beatle, a case of mistaken identity I still laugh about with my wife, best-selling novelist Ruth Harris.
When I return to New York, Ed searches for me backstage. One stagehand is impressed.  "Ed must really like you," he says.  "You've only worked for him for four years, and he already knows your name."
SALE! Short time only! 99c
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Baby Boomers' special: Like It Was Yesterday.

I remember the Fonz and Archie Bunker.I remember when LBJ meant the President (Lyndon B Johnson) and not a basketball player (LeBron James).I remember the California Raisins, Louis the Lizard and the Budweiser Frogs.I remember when the NY football Giants moved to the NJ Meadowlands.I remember pin curls and garter belts, home perms and "Which twin has the Toni?"I remember Dick and Pat, Jack and Jackie, Ronnie and Nancy, Jimmy and Roslyn, Bonnie and Clyde, Steve McQueen and Ali McGraw, Liz and Dick, Ken and Barbie.I remember when you had to get up and cross the room to change the channel.I remember gas station attendants, newsstands and soda fountains.I remember streakers, est and transcendental meditation.I remember consciousness raising, encounter groups and the Manson Family.I remember Bullitt, The Godfather, and The French Connection.I remember Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd and Marvin Gaye.I remember Sergeant Pepper, Tricky Dick and Flower Power.I remember the Bouffant, the Beehive, the Shag, the D.A, The Wet Look, The Dry Look and Greasy Kid Stuff. I remember Joy, "the most expensive perfume in the world" and  "Modess...because"I remember Pan Am and TWA.I remember disco and Donna Summer, hula hoops and Rubik's cubes.

I remember lots but I can't remember:What I had for dinner last night.Where I put my glassesWhy I went into the kitchen and what I was going to do thereWhy I clicked on Google and what I wanted to look up (Thanks to Anne R. Allen for this one!) 
I got the idea for this post while writing THE CHANEL CAPER. If you relate to ups and down of being in your fifties, I think you'll enjoy the adventures of Blake and Ralph as they navigate their way through that sexy and sensational decade.

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A brief but true tale about a kinky-sex-billionaire-international-paranoid spy thriller.

I'm in anecdote mode again today:


Back in the day, a writer of my acquaintance—let's call him Todd—had a decent career writing kids' sports bios for schools and libraries. You know: Derek Jeter, Tom Brady, LeBron James, Maria Sharapova.  Anyway, Todd, who was one of your basic good guys, took a break from athletic heroics to write a kinky-sex-billionaire-international-paranoid-spy epic and, somewhat to his surprise, the thing took off. 

Big six figure sale, foreign sales, tv and movie interest.  The offers poured in, the mention of large sums of money were tossed around and Todd was thrilled.

"I didn't know there was that much money in the world," he told me, astonished and delighted by the speed with which everything was happening.

A few weeks later, I ran into him on Lexington Avenue and 57th Street. He looked upset and quite downcast, especially for someone for whom everything was coming up roses.

"Todd, what's the matter?" I asked.

"I just came from my lawyer's office," he told me. "It was about the movie deal—"

"That's wonderful," I said.  "Congratulations!"

He shook his head. "I was really happy but do you know what he told me?" he said. "He said, 'Todd, they got ways to fuck you you haven't even thought of yet—'"

Lawyer turned out to be right. Todd wrote a treatment but the producer who was so hot to get the rights, couldn't make up his mind, maybe couldn't get the star or the financing he wanted/needed, asked for a rewrite, then another, finally decided he wasn't sure, wouldn't (or maybe couldn't) say exactly what had turned him from hot to lukewarm to cold. He stopped returning Todd's phone calls, and Todd's epic went from Big Deal to what? to who? to turnaround to nowhere.

Movie never got made.  Publisher moved on to next-big-thing. Book, naturally, never earned out. Todd didn't get a contract for his next kinky-sex-billionaire-international paranoid-spy epic. The big bucks turned out to be gossamer and Todd went back to writing sports bios. Something he does well, something he enjoys doing and at which he makes a decent living.

Sometimes all that glitters isn't gold.

No commercial today. No sales, no specials. If you looking for a book, though, why not check out mine?  You could probably do worse. :-)