Joshilyn Jackson's Blog, page 32

Merry Loot-mas

Christmas is for me mostly a religious holiday. I love both Midnight Mass and the traditional Protestant Christmas Eve service, love lighting the Advent candle, opening Advent calendars (preferably with chocolate, because...duh). I adore live nativities, especially the kind that...

See You Monday!

Best Beloveds, I am off to have a Merry Christmas with the family in Alabama. I will be back Monday to tell you about what PHAT LOOTS I garnered, because THAT, after all, is the TROO MEANING OF XMAS. Or...

Hep Cats

Schubert feels better. I know because during his illness, the cat food bowls that dwell in the basement managed to drift close to one another in the way of inanimate objects in a house full of pets and little children....

Math Doesn't Lie. Even if You Ask Nicely.

Problem 1. Solve for Vet, where Vet is X, and Y is a variable that = the number of times you refrained from punching anyone in the face while your poor old skeezixy kitty lost 3 pounds and cried and...

Hey Ariel, Aurora Dawn, Jasmine...

And you, whats-yer-face, you new chick wandering around new Orleans PERPETRATING AMPHIBIOUS KISSING. Ladies, I blame YOU for my girl's dedication to Taylor Swift love songs, her desire to see NEW MOON, and the drawing below: The child is SEVEN....

The Kind of Lie You Tell Yourself on Days When It Goes Badly

The true truthful truth is, IF I had a Netbook, THEN I could write this book. A Netbook has FIVE hours of battery life, and I truly believe in my pink heart that in NetBookSpeak, five hours means at LEAST...

Open Letters to Everybody

Dear Serial Killers and Opossums, Scott is home. You heard me. The window for murdering me in my bed/creeping me out by climbing up my grill to LICK the forgotten meat fork with your disgusting possum-tongue (respectively) has firmly closed....

In Which I Die of Something. Probably Swine Flu.

I have three things to tell you. 1) I feel like any minute I am going to go creep under a house and die like an inconvenient and terminal woodland creature. There I will begin to smell and ruin everyone's...

Cop-tastica!

With Scott out of town, my two biggest problems are 1) I do not sleep 2) I tell everyone on the internet---not just YOU, oh my friends --- but anyone who happens to surf through via a google which could...

Remit with Toe Scrubbing

I am SO ashamed of my hatefulness yesterday. I did not want to drive at night in the cold rain. I was foul and tiny-hearted and dread-filled. I do not like songs, true, but I forgot how very much I...