Benjamin Sobieck's Blog, page 48

Video: Ukulele Orchestra Covers MGMT's "Kids"

And that's all I have to say about that.

What is ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response)?

There's nothing I enjoy more than researching something weird and turning it into a short story.

I dove into hypnosis for Use the Pillow in the 4 Killer Crime Stories in 4 Minutes e-book (get it free here). Letters from kids to serial killers in jail got the same treatment in Timmy Says Put This in an E-Book (also part of 4 Killer Crime Stories). And let's not forget the bizarre world of medical billing, as chronicled throughout the Maynard Soloman short story series.

Yet nothing was stranger than ASMR. It stands for "Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response." I turned it into a short story called Murder Goes Viral for the new Dark Pages Vol. 1 anthology from Trestle Press.

Despite how it sounds, ASMR isn't a solid scientific term. It was coined in 2010 by the ASMR Research & Support website in an effort to formally explore the effect.

Here's its definition:

"Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) is a physical sensation characterized by a pleasurable tingling that typically begins in the head and scalp, and often moves down the spine and through the limbs."

However, not everyone experiences ASMR. The way to determine if you can is through exposure to a "trigger." According to that ASMR website, triggers could be:

* Exposure to slow, accented, or unique speech patterns
* Viewing educational or instructive videos or lectures
* Experiencing a high empathetic or sympathetic reaction to an event
* Enjoying a piece of art or music
* Watching another person complete a task, often in a diligent, attentive manner - examples would be filling out a form, writing a check, going through a purse or bag, inspecting an item closely, etc.
* Close, personal attention from another person
* Haircuts, or other touch from another on head or back

Weird, huh? I'm not sure if I've experienced a reaction from any of those triggers. What I do know is that thousands claim to have had an ASMR event. There are countless videos on YouTube of people executing these "triggers" in hopes of the viewer experiencing ASMR. They apparently do, if the comments are to be believed.

A common theme throughout the videos is that creative people are more likely to experience ASMR. The reason is unknown. Since ASMR is a mental experience, it would stand to reason creative people may be more open to it.

Although I consider myself to be creative, I can't say I had an ASMR experience after watching hundreds of these videos. But I can say it gave me great fodder for a short story. Here are thousands of people across the planet "triggering" each other to experience a murky mental phenomenon. What could the consequences be?

Thus the short story, Murder Goes Viral, was born. I let my imagination run wild. What if society views ASMR as a threat? What would happen to the people experiencing it? If those people are creative, would creativity be outlawed?

The answer, in the story, is "yes." Granted, I made things pretty sensational. But when a topic is this unexplored, you can't help but wonder.

If you're interested in reading more about ASMR, check out Murder Goes Viral in the Dark Pages Vol. 1 e-book from Trestle Press. It's only one of a dozen excellent shorts that are sure to "trigger" your senses.

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Benjamin Sobieck is the author of the crime novel, Cleansing Eden, the Maynard Soloman short story crime humor series and many other flash fiction pieces. He lives in Minnesota. His website is CrimeFictionBook.com.

Is Santa Claus Real?

It's a question that has dogged humans for centuries: Is Santa Claus real?

Fortunately, the world's crustiest and most profane detective, Maynard Soloman, has "put the pin" on this problem. After an intense encounter at church - some would call it a divine revelation - Maynard has the answer. In fact, he has proof.

It's all outlined in the new short story e-book, Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real. If you've ever stopped yourself and honestly wondered, "Is Santa Claus real?" then you need to seriously consider reading this e-book. (You also need to consider getting a job/hobby/significant other.)

Here's a quick excerpt of the evidence:

"Santa Claus distracts kids from celebrating Jesus Christ during this holy holiday. Makes them focus on material items of the flesh. So we forbid Santa Claus in the church," the preacher says.

This Ol' Badger is still confused. Wasn't Santa in the Bible? Had 12 elves follow him around the North Pole? "Let me put the pin on you, Arch Preacher Rodriguez. You think Santa is Satan trying to steer kids to hell during Christmas?" I say.

She says, "You can't spell 'Santa' without 'Satan.' It's no coincidence. They're the same entity."

I never thought of it that way. "So you straight up tell kids Santa isn't real? Don't even give 'em a few years to live in candy cane bliss?" I say.

The preacher nods and taps the cross around her neck. "That's right. All the focus needs to be right here."

My brilliant mind is startin' to connect the dots, see. "So if Satan's greatest trick is convincing humans he doesn't exist, and Satan is Santa Claus, aren't you playing right into Satan's hand by saying Santa doesn't exist? By your math Santa is real," I say.

And to think Mensa rejected my application.

The preacher gnaws this over. She's liking the cut of my jib less and less. "I suppose that's a true statement," she says.

Ladies and gentlemen, you may applaud. Your pal, Maynard Soloman, just proved the existence of Santa Claus. I can die happy knowing I contributed something important to the world.

Still wondering, "Is Santa Claus real?" Didn't think so. With hard logic like this, you can bet Maynard Soloman has even more world-changing revelations.

Click here to get Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real from Amazon for 99 cents.

Click here to get Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real from Barnes & Noble for 99 cents.

It's also available through other fine e-retailers across the North Pole and beyond.

P.S. Think Maynard got it wrong? Let him know on his facebook page.

Tired of All this Christmas Crap Already? This is the E-Book for You

Maynard Soloman is an old crusty badger of a detective with a potty-mouth straight outta 1932. Throughout his short story series, he's had some big cases. Yet none of them come close to his most recent in the e-book, Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real.

Exactly how he does this involves a drunk hound dog, an eccentric church and a baseball bat-wielding thief. Oh yeah, and some reindeer hooves on the roof of his Winnebago.

I won't divulge any details, but I will give you a taste of Maynard's approach to life. His Guide to Milk and Cookies appears as a bonus feature in the e-book, Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real. But I'll let you in on a little preview now.

Here is Maynard Soloman's Guide to Milk and Cookies:

When Santa Claus breaks into your home Christmas Eve, tramples through your living room and leaves a pile of shit to throw out in February, you'll be glad you read this guide.



Why? This greedy bastard expects some sort of tribute. Virgins, probably. But since you lack the upper body strength to hurl said virgin into that volcano, you'll do something else. You'll leave milk and cookies.



You're a sap.



Here's how to do it the right way:



1) Load your shotgun.



2) Stick the business end up the chimney.



3) When you hear noise, shoot.



4) As the remains of Santa beg for mercy at your feet, fetch the milk and cookies.



5) Taunt Santa while eating the milk and cookies.



6) Go on the roof and slaughter the reindeer. Tell Santa you know a nice meat processor.



7) Come out of your drug-induced haze, you stupid doper. There is no Santa and there are no reindeer. Also, the cops are here.



8) Use your one phone call from jail to tell your family you dropped acid on Christmas Eve. They will use words like, "extremely disappointed," "we're changing the locks" and - since you pissed away most of your life - "not surprised."



9) As you sit in jail, you will get a nickname from the other inmates. It will be "Milk and Cookies." You will not enjoy this name. Especially when the big fat guy with a beard comes over to "get my Milk and Cookies."



10) Let me know if you need some bail money. I'd be happy to laugh in your face.

If you enjoy this cynical take on Christmas, you'll especially like the new 99-cent short story e-book, Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real.

Last Day for Chance to be a Character in My Next E-Book

Want to get in on this world-changing crime humor short story? I'll randomly choose one person who "likes" Maynard Soloman's facebook page and write that person as a character. Just "like" this page by the end of today: http://www.facebook.com/crimenovel.

Be a Character in My Christmas E-Book

I thought it'd be really cool to have a reader be a character in the Christmas special edition of the Maynard Soloman crime fiction humor short story series.

If you want a shot at being in a world-changing, mind-blowing e-book, "like" this page before the end of Friday. http://www.facebook.com/crimenovel.

To see what you're in for, here's the latest installment of the series.

Be a Part of a World-Changing Event: "Maynard Soloman Proves Santa is Real"

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Since a monster surge of traffic ate my website's generous November bandwidth in less than 12 days (crimefictionbook.com), I've no choice but to make this extremely important announcement right here, right now. This could be the most significant few sentences of your entire life. One that will blow everything you thought about being human on this planet out of the water.

Yes, that's right. Santa is real.

And not in some "he's real in our hearts, kids," kind of way. We're talkin' a "he exists in flesh and blood" way.

Who could prove such a thing? Maynard Soloman, the profane and clueless private investigator with his own short story e-book series, is on the cusp of irrefutable evidence. It will all be detailed in the upcoming "Maynard Soloman Proves Santa is Real" e-book.

Here's where you come into the picture. You can have your name appear as a character in this ground-breaking e-book. All you have to do is go to Maynard's facebook page and "like" the post at http://www.facebook.com/crimenovel.

One "liker" will be randomly selected to be included in the story. Just "like" the post before the end of Nov. 18.

Again, all you have to do is "like" the post at facebook.com/crimenovel before the end of Nov. 18 for your life to potentially change. Forever.

Happy holidays!

Three Free Crime Fiction E-Books to Check Out

John McFetridge is the real deal. He's a Canadian crime author who also writes screenplays. Not just the speculative stuff that never makes it out of the bedroom office. He's written for TV cop shows that have hit the major networks, including the unfortunately short-lived The Bridge on CBS.

 

You wouldn't expect talent like this to be putting out work for free. But that's just what he did with three short story e-books I highly recommend. All are quick reads.

 

* Grow House, about a marijuana theft gone awry.

 

* Barbotte, about an illegal gambling house that gets ripped off.

 

* East Coast, about a narc agent

 

Don't do bad things in John's stories, that's the lesson here. Or drugs.

 

Then be sure to put down some cash for his novels and support this fantastic crime author.

 

 

 

Review: "Scream Catcher" by Vincent Zandri

Damn you, Vincent Zandri.

I've barked at ol' Vince before for taking noir stereotypes and making them feel fresh (re: my review of Godchild). He's like the Green Day of crime fiction. He'll take a feel that isn't exactly new and turn it on its head. That's what makes him one of the best crime authors writing today. (Note: That's not an endorsement of Green Day.)

As a crime author myself who runs as far away from familiarity as possible (re: Cleansing Eden, 4 Killer Crime Stories in 4 Minutes, etc.), this bugs the crap out of me. You can't just recycle something that's been done before and make it exciting. That's, like, against the rules, right? The rules of Being an Author Club?

I am wrong. Vincent Zandri is right.

So I say, "Damn you, Vincent Zandri," before launching into a review of his new Scream Catcher. Damn you for taking my expectations, shoveling them in front of a steamroller and cackling at the bloody smear you wipe across your pages. Scream Catcher is one hell of a crime thriller novel.

The premise involves Jude, an ex-cop turned author (a move that, as in Concrete Pearl, quietly serves as a pantomime for the real Zandri), who witnesses a bizarre murder late one night. The killer appears to be hunting his victim in a gravel pit. Right before the kill shot, the killer holds up an iPhone and demands the victim scream.

These screams are recorded for use in the killer's popular video games. They add a dimension of realism that satisfies the killer's perverse personality.

For the same reasons, he puts his victims through real-world simulations of his video games in development. Jude tries his damnedest to avoid winding up in one, but sure enough the killer comes knocking.

Jude has to stay alive inside the killer's "game" long enough to save his family, disarm a bomb and overcome a fear of "freezing up" - something that cost him his job as a cop.

The whole "let's put a 'player' through a real-world video game" trope has been milked raw before, mostly in movies starring Gerard Butler. But as I said, this is Vincent Zandri. He knows how to make people grind their nails bloody. And he does. In spades.

Jude's marathon of pain through the killer's "game" has to be one of the most suspenseful chunk of pages I've ever read. If you need a thriller pick-me-up, you're not going to be disappointed with those passages.

I give Scream Catcher my full endorsement. This is a guaranteed good read.

Click here to get Scream Catcher on Amazon for the Kindle.

Click here to get Scream Catcher on Barnes & Noble for the Nook.

Review: "Scream Catcher" by Vincent Zandri

Damn you, Vincent Zandri.

I've barked at ol' Vince before for taking noir stereotypes and making them feel fresh (re: my review of Godchild). He's like the Green Day of crime fiction. He'll take a feel that isn't exactly new and turn it on its head. That's what makes him one of the best crime authors writing today. (Note: That's not an endorsement of Green Day.)

As a crime author myself who runs as far away from familiarity as possible (re: Cleansing Eden, 4 Killer Crime Stories in 4 Minutes, etc.), this bugs the crap out of me. You can't just recycle something that's been done before and make it exciting. That's, like, against the rules, right? The rules of Being an Author Club?

I am wrong. Vincent Zandri is right.

So I say, "Damn you, Vincent Zandri," before launching into a review of his new Scream Catcher. Damn you for taking my expectations, shoveling them in front of a steamroller and cackling at the bloody smear you wipe across your pages. Scream Catcher is one hell of a crime thriller novel.

The premise involves Jude, an ex-cop turned author (a move that, as in Concrete Pearl, quietly serves as a pantomime for the real Zandri), who witnesses a bizarre murder late one night. The killer appears to be hunting his victim in a gravel pit. Right before the kill shot, the killer holds up an iPhone and demands the victim scream.

These screams are recorded for use in the killer's popular video games. They add a dimension of realism that satisfies the killer's perverse personality.

For the same reasons, he puts his victims through real-world simulations of his video games in development. Jude tries his damnedest to avoid winding up in one, but sure enough the killer comes knocking.

Jude has to stay alive inside the killer's "game" long enough to save his family, disarm a bomb and overcome a fear of "freezing up" - something that cost him his job as a cop.

The whole "let's put a 'player' through a real-world video game" trope has been milked raw before, mostly in movies starring Gerard Butler. But as I said, this is Vincent Zandri. He knows how to make people grind their nails bloody. And he does. In spades.

Jude's marathon of pain through the killer's "game" has to be one of the most suspenseful chunk of pages I've ever read. If you need a thriller pick-me-up, you're not going to be disappointed with those passages.

I give Scream Catcher my full endorsement. This is a guaranteed good read.

Click here to get Scream Catcher on Amazon for the Kindle.

Click here to get Scream Catcher on Barnes & Noble for the Nook.