Jennifer Niven's Blog, page 399
August 31, 2015
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
This is one of the loveliest things I’ve ever seen.
August 28, 2015
One year ago today, I lost my very best friend and the most...
A video posted by Jennifer Niven (@jenniferniven) on Aug 28, 2015 at 8:06am PDT
One year ago today, I lost my very best friend and the most amazing, beautiful person I will ever know. My mom died unexpectedly Aug 28, 2014, and I still can’t wrap my mind around it.
theglow-ofultraviolet:
lovely is a lovely word that should be...
lovely is a lovely word that should be used more often… because it’s lovely to be lovely to the one you love.
Harry! ❤️️
feel-the-flight:
My new favourite book! I’ve tried to wander...
My new favourite book! I’ve tried to wander around the town following Finch’s orders, and I just feel so special at the moment. It’s like my soul is finally out of its cage,
❤️️
All the Bright Places
Petition to have All the Bright Places taught in schools, it covers multiple topics such as mental illness, depression, grief, bipolar disorder, family relationships, suicide, and many others.
sorrythatiexistuniverse:
Yesterday I have finished reading the...
Yesterday I have finished reading the book All The Bright Places. I will say that this is one of the best books that I have ever read about depression and suicide.
In the past few days, I have been struggling in motivating myself in living, I often deactivate my social media accounts because I am too tired of people and my life as it is. I was in dire need of motivation because suicidal thoughts were never living my mind, and as close as it is, I nearly started writing my suicide notes to the people I loved.
Anyway, most people who know me especially my best friend, know that I will not end my life because I can control myself still. However, when I started reading this book, I started to feel that maybe reading is really my solace. Books are the place that I can have the comfort that I usually look in people.
As I ended the book, I have one thing that I’ve learnt most. It is that, no matter how unlovable I am, no matter how undesirable I can be, no matter how unworthy or however I can be, people will still cry when I die. Because I am a part of their lives, and they will feel a great loss when I leave this world.
Upon reading the book, I can relate so much in Finch. His feelings, his mind, and to him himself. Especially the part where he said that, (non-verbatim) No matter how you have changed, the label will never leave you. That is actually one truth about life, no matter how you will change yourself or how puberty change you, the label on you or how the people see you will never change.
In our subject here in college called Communication Theories and Models, there is this thing called the Generalized Other. It means that a person can become “that” person they see him to be. For instance, Finch is labelled as a “freak” in their campus, and so he lived as a “freak”. Finch cannot escape the label he is in, that’s why instead of escaping it, he lived it.
I experienced the same thing, I was labelled as someone negative and sad all the time. I cannot escape it, my mind cannot escape it. I lived it. I became negative and sad. But when I learnt that I actually can be a positive and happy one, why should I imprison myself in a label that I know I can knock-out?
On the one hand, continuing in the book, in the part where Finch started feeling constant headaches, I already have the feeling that he will die. And I was right.
The part after his death is the best part – for me – of the book. As I said earlier, I have no idea how do people react to someone who commits suicide. Because being a suicidal person, I only know that people won’t mind if I die. They won’t notice or whatnot.
And then I knew that they will. They always will. Especially those people whom you have fight with before you die, or someone you had an argument with, someone you had misunderstanding, someone you love. They will feel that they are the reason of your death.
Because Violet felt that way. Mrs. Finch felt that way. Embryo felt that way.
And that broke me. I almost cried to everyone’s reaction.
I know now that when I die of suicide, everyone will feel the loss of me. Some people will feel that they are the reason of my death. And I don’t want that to happen.
It is true, suicidal people have their choice, but they don’t think they have.
And as of this moment, I will always remember that I have a choice. I always have.
“Your hope lies in accepting your life as it is now lies before you, forever changed. If you can do that, the peace you seek will follow.”
I am forever changed.
❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️
