Gloria Feldt's Blog, page 17

Flourish Over 50: Gloria and Susan Tolles Talk Texas Pasts and Flourishing Futures

Mitt Romney recently described contraception coverage and abortion rights as “shiny objects” used by Democrats to distract voters from “more important” issues. At a moment in which women’s reproductive rights are being dismissed by America’s Republican presidential hopeful, it is important for us to know our history! For me, the advent of the birth control pill accompanied a defining moment in which I realized my “power to.”

I discuss my life journey—from Texas to working with Kathleen Turner on a memoir to why 2012 may finally again be the year of the woman—with writer Susan Tolles for this interview. The article originally appeared on Susan’s website Flourish Over 50.

SUSAN TOLLES:    Welcome to Flourish Over 50. I’m just so excited that you’re here, and I want to talk about your lifelong passion for really empowering women.

GLORIA FELDT:    I first had to empower myself. I didn’t start out knowing much about this power stuff. I grew up in small towns in Texas in the 1940-50s, where girls were not encouraged to get an education, have a career, or have real aspirations for themselves. I mean, my family actually did expect me to get educated, but only in order to be a better mother, a better mate, etc. So I really didn’t start out thinking that I had power and agency myself; I grew thinking that the agency was outside of myself. I had to learn by trial-and-error along the way, and I am still learning it.

SUSAN TOLLES:    Right, we all are. It’s always a work in progress.

GLORIA FELDT:    It is a work in progress. So I’ll give you the real quick rundown of what happened: I was a teen mom; I got pregnant, married my high school sweetheart when I was 15. I had three children, bing-bing-bing, and then I was 20 years old. I think it was the combination of maturity and the advent of the birth control pill where I just woke up. That was one defining moment.

I realized two things: Firstly, I had three children, and although I had a husband who was earning a salary, I kept thinking, “What if I have to support these children?” I had no employable skills whatsoever. Secondly, I was starting to get a little bored and I realized that this life was not as much fun as I thought it was going to be. I, in fact, had a brain and I was eager to go to school.

And so, I finished high school by correspondence, and then the birth control pill came along. It was that defining moment that allowed me to see that I could create a life for myself. I could plan. If I wanted to have more children, I could have them by my own choice at whatever time I wanted to. But if I didn’t want to have more, then I had that option, and it meant I could go to college. I would say that was the first big defining moment for me. There were a series of other moments.

So I often ask people when I speak, “When did you know you had the power to _______?”

SUSAN TOLLES:    Hmm, great question.

GLORIA FELDT:    It’s a really interesting question. Some people have these blinding moments of light, and for others it’s a gradual process. For me, it was a gradual process. I sort of fell into my first job with Planned Parenthood; I’d been teaching at Head Start. I got to know the organization because of a co- worker who was on the board there. I was finally able to finish my degree [when] the University of Texas opened a branch in Odessa. It took me 12 years to finish, because I had to wait for UTPB (The University of Texas-Permian Basin) to get there.

Photo: Susan kindly sent me pictures of beautiful Texas bluebonnets after I told her I was pining for them. They make me feel like I’m “home.”

SUSAN TOLLES:    Oh, goodness. Bless your heart for living in Odessa!

GLORIA FELDT:    Yeah, no kidding! And that was the big city at that time – that was the biggest one I’d lived in. At that point I was able to finish my degree and I had to do a paper on Planned Parenthood. In the course of doing that, I met the executive directors and board members and nurse practitioners. Two weeks later the executive director called me and said, “I’m leaving. You should submit a resume.”

I had never met this woman before. I thought, “Well, you know, I’ve never had a real job interview and I’m imminently unqualified for this. It’ll be a really good experience to put a resume together and go have an interview.”

Well, as they say, the rest is history, and 30 years later, I left Planned Parenthood as the national president.

SUSAN TOLLES:      Wow. Like you say, Don’t follow your dream – lead it.

Lead it, yes. You were leading your dream, and you were becoming a leader and not following anybody at that point. Good for you!

GLORIA FELDT:    After I left Planned Parenthood I had already written two books. I had been wanting to write since I was five years old. I was persuaded by my book agent to write a book with Kathleen Turner, the actress, about her life. I was told that it would be helping other women if I would chronicle the life of this powerful woman. Well, in order to sell the book, publishers wanted “celebrity.” So it ended up becoming a memoir of Kathleen rather than my biography of her.

Kathleen and I have a great relationship and we are 50/50 partners the whole way; we never had an issue. When we were at a publishing office, having a big publicity meeting, the publicist turned his back and looked only at Kathleen. In that moment I thought, “Gloria, you have done it again. You are speaking in somebody else’s voice.”

It’s just like I loved Planned Parenthood for those thirty years. I was always speaking in its voice; my own voice didn’t come out. I was always speaking for the organization. And now I was speaking in Kathleen’s voice and nobody cared about me. I thought, “I’ve got things I want to say!”

And so, there I was, already in my mid-60s and a grandmother many times over before I really started feeling like I was embracing my own power.

SUSAN TOLLES:     Before I read the book, I thought, “Okay, this is really going to be geared toward women who really want to get out and be front and center.” But then I realized that this is exactly what I teach! And interestingly enough, I have created a program myself called, Powerful Me: Embrace Your Passion, Purpose and Power for an Extraordinary Future. You know, these are the same principles that I teach women in midlife who are just searching for an identity. So it does apply across the board.

GLORIA FELDT:    Also, I see so many books that tell women what’s wrong with them; I realized I didn’t want to do that. I’m a positive, optimistic person to begin with. Secondly, I have been an activist all my life, so my interest is not in saying, “Well, research shows that this is what is wrong with you.” My interest is in saying, “Let’s figure out what to do.” I prefer to give concrete, specific, bite-size, usable tools and tips that can help you in whatever relationships you’re negotiating or whatever goals you have in your life.

Not only do we already have what we need inside of us, we also (without always realizing it) have external power. For example, women purchase 85% of the consumer goods. That’s huge power! We could have almost any consumer product designed the way we want it, if we got together and said, for example, “We want this kind of, food for our children in our schools.” I have this personal mission: I want pockets, big pockets in my clothes.[Laughter] I know that if enough women got together and started telling designers, “We want pockets,” we would have pockets.

SUSAN TOLLES:    You say in one media release that 2012 will be the Year of the Woman. Tell us a little bit about that.

GLORIA FELDT:    People love to dub years, “Year of the ___,” and this is supposed to be another Year of the Woman. The way I see it, this can be the Year of the Woman if we decide that it’s going to be. Clearly, women are 51% of the population, we are 54% of the voters, but we are only 17% of Congress and less than 25% of state legislatures. That Year of the Woman term is usually applied to politics.

You can’t win if you don’t run, and women are half as likely as men to even think about running for political office. I’ve talked to women who run organizations that help women run for office, such as the White House Project and the Women’s Campaign Forum.

Republican, Democrat, nonpartisan- they all said the same thing: A man will get up in the morning, look at himself in the mirror, and say, “Well, I believe I’ll run for Senate.” He will not question whether he’s qualified or whether he should even run.

A woman may be interested in politics, but she’ll think, “Well, maybe I should learn something first. I should probably take some courses. I should probably work in a few campaigns.” While this is a good idea, by the time she runs, the man was already elected and received the committee chairmanship who sets the agenda. So she’s a little bit too late for the party.

SUSAN TOLLES:     Well, I love your book and I’m just so excited to bring this to Flourish Over 50, and it really is an excellent book for the month. Again, it’s not just for women who want to be out there front and center in the business and corporate and political world; it’s really for any woman. You know, step in to your power as uncomfortable as that word is – just step into your power.

GLORIA FELDT:    Step into it and then walk with intention, deliberately deciding where you want to go. I love that you adopted the notion leading your own dreams, because I do think that’s so important. We’re better at responding; we’re used to following when we dance, right? We’re used to being responsive to people, to caring about what they think about us – and that’s good. But there’s a balance in it.

The world would be better if more men had those same qualities, and I think the world would also be better as women become more comfortable leading themselves.

SUSAN TOLLES:    Absolutely – and to never think it’s too late. Look at you, you said you were in your 60s before you finally started really stepping in there and seizing that.

GLORIA FELDT:    Exactly. Who knows what’s going to happen in my 70s?

She’s Doing It: Chicke Fitzgerald Has Solutionz

One of the best things about writing a book about women’s relationship with power is that I get to talk with so many interesting people about it. And since it seems that everyone is using my No Excuses Power Tool #8 – “Employ Every Medium” – by being the media these days, I have the opportunity to appear on many web-based radio shows, emanating from anywhere, and available for listening, often along with an accompanying blog post, at any time of the day or night. Media that simply could not have existed in years past.

One example of that trend is an interview I did with Chicke Fitzgerald, founder of the business development consulting firm Solutionz and the Executive Girlfriends’ Group (EGG).

EGG is a platform for executive women (both corporate and entrepreneurial). And it’s a ‘real world’ connection, not an electronic one, hosting a by invitation only conference call weekly, on Fridays from 4pm ET to 5:30pm ET. The website provides support to the group and allows the members to connect one on one, ask and answer questions, and to benefit from one another’s expertise.

I caught up with Chicke for our interview on her cell phone. Turns out that she was sitting at the Starbucks situated in the very Safeway store where I shop when I’m in Arizona. Though she lives in Tampa FL, she was in Arizona bringing her daughter to a summer camp.

In describing the mission of EGG, Chicke says she believes that our role in life is to leave behind a legacy and that one on one relationship is the best way to produce lasting results. So I want to share the interview with you!

Here’s the Executive Girlfriends’ Group show on blogtalkradio and also on iTunes, where you can download the MP3 files.

And if you want more, here’s how to read the accompanying blog post; join EGG then get the blog post here.

I’m delighted to have spoken to many new Executive Girlfriends via Chicke’s radio show, and to share EGG with you. Check it out—maybe you’ll find the very Solutionz you need!

Claudia Chan’s Vision: Number One Leadership Attribute

Last summer just about this time, I received an e-mail out of the blue asking me to be interviewed by someone I’d never heard of for a women’s lifestyle website that hadn’t yet been created.

And by the way, would I have lunch with Claudia Chan—who described herself as a women’s lifestyle expert and entrepreneur and former co-owner of a Shecky’s Girlfriend events company I’d never heard of—to learn more about this chimera?

How could I refuse after I read Claudia’s vision, included in the e-mail?

By profiling influential women and sharing their experiences and advice, my mission is to ignite today’s generation of women to thrive both personally and professionally by creating mission-driven lives they love—as well as inspire their necessary participation in, or contribution to the global advancement of women and girls. There are so many amazing causes, nonprofits & companies doing great work for women (domestic and abroad) so we’re targeting many interviewees with these affiliations & passions. They set the example for our next generation that women must help women.

I was hooked.

I was hooked because I was inspired by a big idea, one that taps into values and accomplishments larger than myself. Claudia’s mission statement declared her vision so I knew what she intended to achieve. I agreed to have lunch and to be interviewed.

Whatever the pursuit, whether in business, politics, the nonprofit sector, or life in general, the most successful leaders have one attribute in common—the ability to articulate a vision and mobilize others to join them in achieving it.

Vision is the #1 leadership attribute.

I learned this from my own work and life: Start with a vision. Not a small, incremental vision, but a bold, audacious, flaming red, bigger-than-yourself vision.

A bold vision creates meaning, not just as a focus for the visionary, but equally as aspiration for the rest of us. We are then able to see ourselves in the vision, and actions begin to manifest themselves as a result. As Professor of Business Administration and leadership studies pioneer Warren Bennis puts it, “The leader’s goal is not mere explanation or clarification but the creation of meaning.”

Nothing rejuvenates an old, tired, or demoralized organization like going through the process of creating a bold vision. Leading a diverse constituency to create a shared vision was the task before me in 1996 when I became national president of Planned Parenthood. It spurred a decade of growth and innovation that is still bearing fruit today.

Endurance is characteristic of a bold vision. It continues to compel action even after the originator has gone. And even if its goals weren’t 100% achieved.

Risks of being a visionary

Speaking the truth of one’s vision takes courage. It’s risky. If you’re too far ahead of your time, or if you are fomenting major change that angers the power elite, you may be laughed at (President Grover Cleveland said in 1912 about women who dared seek the right to vote, “Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.”), fired (you can think of many a CEO or politician to fit this description), or even killed like Martin Luther King, Jr.

And to be sure, vision without action doesn’t count for much. As humorist Will Roger once said, “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.”

Yet without vision, action doesn’t satisfy people intellectually or emotionally, doesn’t instill loyalty or motivate others to take action.

Gender lens vision

Traditionally, men with leadership proclivities have tended to start businesses and create wealth. Women with leadership proclivities, on the other hand, have tended to start social movements and nonprofits: Susan B. Anthony and women’s rights, Jane Addams and the Settlement House, Margaret Sanger to call up some women from history. Candy Lightner and Mothers Against Drunk Driving, Emily May and Hollaback just to name a few from more current movements.

But all of them started with vision.

Personally, I’d like to see more women thinking of vision as big as, say, Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg, and create world-changing technologies or business ventures.

[youtubevid id="9LVJjP5bk40"]

Claudia’s launched.

Meanwhile, Claudia has launched that new site (claudiachan.com) she envisioned—and I predict it will be hugely successful because it started with her clear vision that combines doing good with doing well.

I’m honored to be featured talking about leadership, loving chaos, and why you should send yourself roses.

And I’m very excited to be attending the launch of her to-be-annual SHE Summit. Grab your ticket here if you can come join me and hundreds of remarkable women who share the vision.

And consider:

What’s your bold vision for your career?

How have you observed yourself or others using the power of a vision to lead effectively?

This article originally ran in a blog post for FORBESWOMAN. Check it out here.

 

She’s Done It for 40 Years: Ms. Magazine Honored for Auspicious Anniversary

When did you first see Ms. Magazine?

I can’t recall exactly the first time I saw it, but I do remember subscribing to it soon after it launched in 1972. I lived in Odessa TX, not exactly the bastion of feminism. But within the pages of Ms., I found women from all over the country saying what I’d been thinking. And I realized I wasn’t alone in feeling that something was terribly unfair about the way women were treated in society.

I also learned about the National Organization for Women from Ms. I joined as an at-large member and located the other five or six at-large members within a 100-mile radius.

Ms. has had bumps in the road necessitating several incarnations and relaunches over the years and is currently published by the Feminist Majority.

I gave a party to honor one of the relaunches about a dozen years ago and found myself marveling that I was in the same room with its founders, including Gloria Steinem and if I remember correctly, Letty Cottin Pogrebin, Pat Carbine, and Suzanne Braun Levine. More importantly, it was clear from the magazine’s content and the reception invitees that in this reinvention, the magazine would appeal to a younger generation—or perhaps more accurately, women the age we second wave feminists were when Ms. was first published.

Today I’m going down to City Hall to celebrate Ms. Magazine’s 40th Anniversary.

The occasion will be honored by the City Council of New York – Wednesday, June 13, 2012. There will be a tribute at City Hall at 1:00 p.m. with a ceremony for the First National Feminist Publication “Born in New York.”

Even if you’re not in NY, you can join the celebration – Make the Ms. WONDER WOMAN first issue cover your profile picture on June 13th. Better yet, send a check or buy a subscription to help make sure Ms. will be around for at least another 40 years.

Please share your thoughts on the impact and importance of Ms. to you and to women.

Women’s Leadership Fund of Orange and Duchess Counties

Luncheon Event

June 12, 2012 - Women’s Leadership Fund of Orange and Duchess Counties in New York. Luncheon event sponsored by Chambers of Commerce and other groups. Held at Anthony’s Pier 9, New Windsor, NY.

I presented a No Excuses keynote speech during the luncheon to hundreds of business women and men.

Endorsements and Comments

“Wonderful presentation this afternoon! I thoroughly enjoyed listening to you and look forward to reading your book. Thank you for helping our Women’s Leadership Fund.” —Megan McKann, Marketing and Communications Manager, United Way of Duchess-Orange Region (Photo: Megan and me)

“You came along as I needed a boost of energy and for that, I thank you. Keep making change.. I’ll be watching and doing some of my own. Thanks again for a terrific presentation and for the book. Can’t wait to read it.” –Miriam Frawley

“Got a power boost at the Chamber luncheon today from Gloria Feldt. You go, girl!” —e-Diner

“Liberty Enviro Mgmt ‏@teamlibertyem @GloriaFeldt your speech was amazing today at the @OrangeNY Chamber breakfast!” (from Twitter)

“I was truly inspired. As a 21 year old recently graduated student your speech meant and taught me A LOT.”  —Lauren Hoheusle

“Thank you very much for your inspiring presentation yesterday. I only heard great comments from the audience. You reminded me of where I was only a short time ago. My story is similar to yours but an ugly divorce left me alone with four little children. I had to raise up to meet the challenge and I did.

I am now 64 years old (I don’t tell very many people that) and everyone around me thinks it is time for me to retire. I am not in any way ready to do that!  I love working and I love my job. I have been hearing the talk of hiring younger people who have new ideas and new ways to do things. You have empowered me to have the courage to speak up once again. Thank you again for your presentation and your book.” — Carol Smith, Vice President Government Initiatives and Special Projects. Orange County Chamber of Commerce

Media Reports
Women should change how they think about power, feminist author says

This article appeared in the Mid Hudson News on June 13, 2012. Apparently written by a staff writer, the article included this photo.

 

Tips on Boosting  Women’s Wages

This article was written by Jessica Dinapoli and appeared in the Times Herald-Record on June 1, 2012.

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I know I talk with my hands, but this is ridiculous.

Orange County NY Chamber of Commerce Women in Business luncheon brought in a respectable number of men too. There were many great questions from the audience. On pretest, about 10% of the attendees raised their hands to indicate they are 10′s on the “I love power” scale. By post test, it looked like about 20-25% identified as perfect 10′s.

 

 

Tips on Boosting Women’s Wages

I’m looking forward to speaking tomorrow to the Orange County (NY) Chamber of Commerce Women in Business lunch. I  never know which of the No Excuses Power Tools I’ll include in my presentation till I get there. But I always know there will be a lively conversation when I have the privilege of sharing ideas and tips with hundreds of women in business.

(This article, written by Jessica Dinapoli, appeared in the Times Herald-Record, June 1, 2012)

Most people would not pass up $500,000.

But many women do exactly that when they start their careers, said Gloria Feldt, an author and former Planned Parenthood CEO. Feldt is speaking at the Orange County Chamber of Commerce’s Women in Business lunch June 12.

Women leave a significant chunk of change on the table by not negotiating as aggressively for their salaries as men do in their entry level job, Feldt said. Being shortchanged from the get-go adds up over time and might mean a smaller retirement nest egg or less Social Security, Feldt said.

Taking a strong negotiating stance has a lot to do with power. It’s an issue women are ambivalent on, Feldt said. She wrote about it in her book “No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think about Power,” which she will talk about at the chamber event.

Women are ambivalent about power because they know what it’s like when it’s used negatively, Feldt said. Women have been discriminated against and are often the victims of domestic abuse, experiences in which power is used against them, she explained.

“‘Power over’ means it can make you do something,” she said. “If you shift the definition of ‘power’ to ‘power to’ instead of ‘power over’… it’s positive.”

The Orange County chamber is working on helping more female business owners get certified by New York state, which opens up doors for government grants, said Carol Smith, the organization’s vice president for government.

Working mothers in New York state earn 14.6 percent less than men. In Orange County, that equates to a $118 difference in weekly pay between men and women, according to U.S. Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, D-N.Y. There are more than 10,000 households wholly dependent on mothers’ earnings in the county.

Feldt, who had her first child at 16 years old in rural Texas, struggled with her relationship to power after she left Planned Parenthood and became self-employed as an author and commentator.

It was easy to ask for donations or use her power for the Planned Parenthood cause but, she said, it’s more difficult to price her own services and say “No.”

Event Details:

June 12, 2012 -Women’s Leadership Fund of Orange and Duchess Counties in New York. Luncheon event sponsored by Chambers of Commerce and other groups.

She’s Doing It: Jane Fonda Rocks the Power of Grandmothers at Women’s Media Center Event

“Making women visible and powerful in the media,” the mission of the nonprofit New york and D.C. based Women’s Media Center http://www.womensmediacenter.com/, was on full display Monday night June 4. The evening’s centerpiece was the premiere of “Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding,” starring the incomparable Jane Fonda  as a marijuana-growing and selling, tie-dye-wearing, sexuality-embracing, moon-howling grandmother who never left the 1960′s.

Jane Fonda, Amy Litzenberger, Christy Smith

 

Set in bucolic Woodstock  NY, home of the last remaining 60′s hippies, the independent film is a sweet and savvy story of generational conflicts and reconciliation. I’ll be writing more about its characters and especially Fonda’s flowing-haired grandmother power.

Meanwhile, watch for the movie in your neighborhood or put it on your Netflix  queue. Highly recommended.

 

Sneak peak at Jane and her beau Richard Perry

 

The incomparable gossip columnist Liz Smith

 

Cindy Wgglesworth, Jane, and Gloria at Circo before the show

 

I took this photo for my collection “The Right to Shoes or a Step Backward?”

WMC board member Lauren Embry's shoes

 

They’re Doing It: AAUW and NASPA Honor 5

Ever work so hard that you forget to take time to celebrate what you’ve accomplished? I do it all the time.

So today, here’s a shout out to the American Association of University Women (AAUW) and the National Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education (NASPA) who on May 31 will take time to celebrate six outstanding women.

Women who are clearly doing it for themselves and other women.

These women are innovators in media, advocacy, politics, and business, and they will be honored at the National Conference for College Women Student Leaders (NCCWSL).

Afghan women’s activist Noorjahan Akbar,

Alta Bicycle Share CEO Alison Cohen,

New Yorker cartoonist Liza Donnelly,

Women’s health care advocate Sandra Fluke,

NPR host Michel Martin,

Former Hillary Clinton campaign manager and political consultant Maggie Williams

All will receive Women of Distinction Awards at the 27th annual conference at the University of Maryland, College Park.

In addition to the Women of Distinction Awards, NCCWSL will feature keynote speeches I wish I could be there to hear from fair-pay icon Lilly Ledbetter and spoken-word performer Mayda del Valle on Friday, June 1, and Saturday, June 2, respectively.

“This conference is special because we are connecting women across generations, experiences, and communities. It’s not every day that college students have the opportunity to rub elbows with world renowned leaders, award-winning journalists, news makers, and passionate women philanthropists,” said AAUW Executive Director Linda D. Hallman, CAE.

“Those of us in student affairs are committed to educating the whole student and integrating student life and learning,” said NASPA President Kevin Kruger. “We look forward to the ways in which the young women attending this conference will return to their campuses with the tools needed to effect positive change in their communities.”

This year, more than 550 college and university students from around the world will attend the conference, which includes skill-building workshops, networking, and volunteer opportunities in addition to inspiring speakers. Past conference attendee Bethany Petek of Pacific Lutheran University remembers the event fondly. “This conference and being around hundreds of driven, passionate, strong, and smart women has climbed the charts to be one of the most defining points in my life,” she said.

A full listing of NCCWSL supporters and a conference schedule are available on the NCCWSL website.

Take a moment to check it out and celebrate with them, even if only over a cup of tea at your desk. It’s gratifying to see some of the nation’s most impressive and inspiring news makers gathering to help groom the next generation of women leaders.

Then take a moment to celebrate yourself. I should make that No Excuses Power Tool #10!

This article originally ran in a blog post for FORBESWOMAN. Check it out here.

Leading With Intention

Not long ago I sat down with freelance writer Corine Garcia for this interview. The article originally appeared as a blog post at Womenetics.

Years ago, as a teenage mother without a college education, one could only imagine that Gloria Feldt felt somewhat limited in career options. But with the right amount of optimism, the proper use of power and her penchant for saying “Yes” to every opportunity, Feldt paved her way to leadership success as the former president and CEO of Planned Parenthood.

Now, after recently being listed as one of “America’s Top 200 Women Leaders, Legends, and Trailblazers” by Vanity Fair magazine, Feldt’s latest bestselling book “No Excuses: 9 Ways Women Can Change How We Think About Power” offers well-founded advice to other women.

Womenetics: Vanity Fair named you one of “America’s Top 200 Women Leaders.” To what do you attribute your success as a leader?

Gloria Feldt: My grandson Michael recently interviewed me for his college essay and asked, “Grandmother, what factors do you think most contributed to your success in spite of the challenges you faced as a teenage mother without a college education when you started out in your career?”

I blurted out, “I was either dumb enough or lucky enough to say ‘Yes’ to almost every opportunity.”

It took a question from an 18-year-old to make me realize the power of optimism. In the form of saying ‘Yes’ to job offers I hadn’t sought and challenges I hadn’t imagined I was capable of meeting, I had profoundly influenced my career path. My penchant for seeing the possibility of a pony when others saw only a little pile of you-know-what in their path also helped!

But I wasn’t consciously aware of this power and that I had used it to positive effect until Michael asked his question. It’s a sea change for me to assert that my own agency — being optimistic and taking the risk to say ‘Yes,’ rather than pure dumb luck as I usually tell the story — has fueled my success. Even though I exhort other women to do just that.

I reveal this for two reasons: 1) to emphasize that it’s a lifelong process, and one can always learn new things about leadership; and 2) to illustrate that the main thing holding women back today is that we often fail to realize and embrace the power in our hands.

Womenetics: How did you develop and cultivate your leadership skills?

Feldt: Woody Allen has said that 90 percent of success is showing up. I don’t think leadership is a big, mysterious thing. A leader is someone who shows up and gets something done. After I said yes to opportunities, I showed up, studied the situations and got things done. And I learned from each experience, whether I was successful or failed miserably.

One of the nine “Power Tools” I talk about in my book “No Excuses” is “Wear the shirt.” That means to wear the shirt of your convictions. Let people know what you stand for and be accountable for what you intend to do. Telling people what I intend to do holds me accountable, so I have to face whether I did well or poorly. By wearing the shirt, I grew my skills. And I grew courage muscles too: the courage to take responsibility, the courage to put forth a bold and audacious vision, the courage to stay true to my convictions when others opposed me, and the integrity to admit if I was wrong, learn from it, and get up and try again.

Womenetics: Did you have any outside leadership training?

Feldt: I would give credit to the Western Behavioral Sciences Institute’s remarkable International Leadership Forum that I was fortunate to find just at the moment when I needed to learn from successful executives across many sectors of business, government and nonprofit organizations. I remain in touch with people I met there and who have mentored and advised me over the years. It was important to my success that I talk not only to the people in my field, but also to learn across disciplines, especially to get new insights for big and seemingly intractable problems.

Womenetics: Do you think leadership is an innate or learned skill?

Feldt: Both. Anyone who has more than one child knows how different personalities emerge from the same genetics and same environment. And anyone who has taken leadership roles knows the importance of learning every day.

Women leaders seem to have an insatiable desire to keep learning, which is a good thing. I was a teacher before I was a CEO and before I became a writer. Perhaps that’s why I’m now most passionate about teaching women in workshops and keynote speeches about how to use the 9 Ways “Power Tools” I share in “No Excuses.”

Women must learn to use the power we have in our hands if we are ever going to get a fair shake for ourselves and make the leadership contributions of which we are capable.

Womenetics: Can you explain what you mean in your book about women redefining power? Why is this important?

Feldt: I found in my research, in interviews with women across the country and by looking into my own experience, that many women have an outdated definition of power, created by men in a traditional hierarchical world. It’s the “power over.” And that’s not functional for men or women any more.

Women would tell me they don’t like the idea of power, and I realized they were talking about not wanting power over others. Why should they? Women have borne the brunt of that negative kind of power for millenia. It implies that power is a finite pie and if I take a piece, there’s less for you.

But once we redefined power as the more expansive “power to,” I would see women’s faces relax and they could wholeheartedly say, “Yes! I want that kind of power.” Power to is not a finite pie. The more there is, the more there can be, and I believe women inherently understand that concept. “Power to” is innovation. It’s how you make life better for your family, your company, the community or yourself.

“Power over” is oppression. “Power to” is leadership. Women will truly transform the world for much better when we redefine power in this way.

Womenetics: Why are women stuck in 18 percent of leadership roles, as you claim?

Feldt: There are many historical, cultural and structural reasons why women in the U.S. haven’t reached parity. But there are no excuses not to go forward with intention to accomplish what we want. Legal barriers are down. At least one woman has shattered almost every glass ceiling, and doors are cracked enough to get through them.

We’re better educated than men, holding 60 percent of college degrees. Studies by McKinsey and Co., Ernst and Young and other experts show that more women around the decision table result in better decisions and even a better return on investment. Women have the very leadership skills the world needs right now. It’s women’s moment, but do we know it yet?

Apparently not! We keep focusing on the negative statistics, when we would be better served to focus on the opportunities. 
I don’t say it’s easy. I say it’s possible and that we not only have the capability, but also the responsibility to our sisters and ourselves make it happen. I say this not to blame women, but rather to inspire them.

Womenetics: What mediums should women use to harness more power and become effective leaders?

Feldt: The first medium is ourselves, and the power we communicate with our self-presentation and speech.

In the film “The Iron Lady,” we see scenes of former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher practicing how to make her voice pleasant but strong. I’m not saying women should remake themselves or become inauthentic, but I do recall that when I was writing “Send Yourself Roses” with the actress Kathleen Turner, she emphasized that women spend a great deal of time and money on our clothing but often overlook the rest of our stage presence, and in particular our voice quality.

From the “No Excuses” Power Tool “Employ every medium,” here are a few tips to help ensure you are taken seriously, and that your voice is heard in business meetings or interviews:

Be the media: Think of media not as an add-on but integral to what you’re doing, even if it’s just internal communication within a company. Use personal, social and traditional media proactively. Beyond your workplace, you can also help support groups like the Women’s Media Center that works to get fair and realistic media portrayals of women.
Say the first word: Don’t wait to speak up if you have an idea to contribute. The first speakers almost always set the tone and define the whole conversation. Be poised, prepared and proactive. Don’t hesitate or apologize. And for goodness sake, don’t end every sentence as though it were a question.
Say the last word: Speak it with authority and clarity. Use simple declarative sentences. Don’t hedge your words or use too many diminishing words like “just,” “maybe” or “little.” Speak as though you know you’ll be respected and believed. Sit up straight and make eye contact.
Speak the language: Understand the conversational rituals that distinguish different types of communications and deploy them to your advantage. This is not about being disingenuous or inauthentic, but rather showing respect for others as well as garnering it for yourself. With men and women in the workplace, I liken this to being bilingual.

Your vision, ideas and plans have the power to shape the future, but not if you keep them to yourself or if you wait for others to set the agenda.

Womenetics: What are the biggest obstacles standing in the way of women leaders?

Feldt: While some external barriers remain, and implicit bias in the workplace still exists, the biggest obstacle is our own ambivalent relationship with power. Companies especially need their high-performing women to stay with them if they are going to be successful, and they know it.

Many women are concerned with work/life balance, for example. But many men today want the same thing, or at least enough that you can use the power tool “create a movement” to get workplace policies that allow for people to have a life and earn a living.

It’s a strategic choice at this point. My goal is to give women the inspiration, information and practical tools to stand in their power comfortably and walk with intention to achieve whatever goals they set and in the end to be able to lead unlimited lives.

Womenetics: How can women use leadership skills in other areas of their lives, aside from work?

Feldt: One of the remarkable things I discovered as I began to study women’s relationship with power is that the dynamics are the same at work, in civic and political life and in personal relationships. It’s important to be aware of that, and then you can apply the same skills in any situation.

Womenetics: Who were your leadership mentors; who has inspired you?

Feldt: I love to talk about the leadership lessons I learned from Margaret Sanger, the founder of the American birth control movement. I’m inspired by the fact that she started with nothing — no money, no supporters, and the laws were all against her — and yet she had the power of an idea that has changed everything for women. There is not a woman today in the workforce who could be there if not for the ability to plan and space her children.

I am also grateful to colleagues from the International Leadership Forum; my first boss, Mildred Chaffin, who saw in me more than I saw in myself; and my father, who always told me I could do “anything your pretty little head desires.” An unusually feminist message for a father in that time.

Womenetics: And last, do you take time for yourself and if so, what do you do?

Feldt: I exercise every day or else I become very crabby. Sometimes it’s hard to give an hour or two to working out, so I often ask people who want to meet with me to do walking meetings, which are much more enjoyable. Since I no longer go to an office daily, I languish in bed in the mornings with my husband, and that feels like a real luxury. Right now, I’m on a mission to get speaking or workshop opportunities at spas so I can combine two of my passions, fitness and sharing what I’ve learned about leadership. Any takers out there, please email me!

Corinne Garcia is a freelance writer and editor living with her husband and two young boys in Bozeman, Mont. She has also written for Women’s Adventure, Christian Science Monitor, Northwest Travel, Pregnancy, Fit Pregnancy and Fit Parent.

She’s Doing It: Katie Couric’s Advice for Making Media Breakthroughs

At the start of this video interview with Katie Couric, the first female major TV network evening news anchor, Katie politely but pointedly calls out interviewer Katie Corrado for introducing her initially as “the lovely Katie Couric.” Much like her interviewee, Corrado is perky and cute. She appears to be a generation younger than Couric.

That Corrado needed to be called out is cause for concern about what lessons are being transmitted from one generation to another, and how the dominant cultural narratives imprint even an obviously intelligent young media professional.

Fortunately, Katie’s willingness to apply No Excuses Power Tool #9 Tell your story, is the best antidote for those women whose consciousness needs to be raised about the remaining barriers to gender equality.

Corrado then asked a stereotypically leading question about whether women compete or support each other in the cutthroat media business. This was also handled deftly by Couric. “It’s a very competitive world for both men and women,” said Katie, and proceeded to counsel on the benefits of women helping one another up the ladder.

Be sure to check out Couric’s examples in the video of using Power Tool #2, Define your own terms.  At a time when, according to her description, there was a desire to “Keep the broads out of broadcasting,” she took the initiative to draft story ideas and present them to producers. Impressed, they not only began to use her story ideas, she found that several of the male anchors took note and began to mentor her and open the door to opportunities that might have otherwise eluded her as a young woman in broadcasting.

Success requires passion for what you do, she counsels, but also hard work.

Corrado looked convinced, and I suspect she learned more than she had anticipated she would in this interview, which was recorded for the New York Women in Communications “Connect With the Women Who Connect the World” feature.

Head to http://www.nywici.org/membership/best-advice to see additional interviews with  media women you’ll know as well as 25-second self-recorded interviews by other members of New York Women in Communications (NYWICI) who wanted to tell their own stories.

You can record your story too and submit it, or else you can record right on the “Best Advice” tab on the organization’s Facebook page. It’s a great organization, one I highly recommend joining if you are working or aspire to work in any aspect of media or public relations.

And stay tuned for Katie’s new talk show set to launch in September. Will she be the new Oprah?