K. Mathur's Blog, page 4
July 21, 2013
Guest Post - Husband in Hot Water
I first came to know Debajyoti when he let loose
a tongue-in-cheek cartoon about bloggers. Something funny with a large dose of
truth that makes people uncomfortable even as they laugh! I was hooked. Since,
I have visited his posts and have enjoyed not only his cartoons but also his
story telling skills. He has an unusual imagination. Want to know about a dog
with a positive attitude whose theme song is, “Nirma....Nirma”, visit Debajyoti’s
blog.
But today, please visit his blog to read my guest post about the story of
a stroppy wife and her poor, misunderstood husband and the wonderfully amusing
cartoon he’s drawn to compliment the tale. Incidentally, this was half my entry for the Harper Collins, "Get Published" contest.
The link again: http://factsandnonsense.com/a-husband-in-hot-water/
July 20, 2013
Two Organisations Helping My Veg-Growing / Swapping Efforts
My husband and I have recently taken to gardening. Our enthusiasm
must be catching for our daughter has made a very public pact with her brother and
cousins on facebook that when they grow old they promise not to bore
everyone with their gardening exploits. She belongs to a choir and
has promised if we talk of gardening, she'll sing songs at us :). Our response- don't push it till you've tried it.
Ambitious as I am, without becoming great at gardening and since the NZ government is encouraging city farming (which I've written about on the wonderful Pattu's terraced gardening blog ) I've started toying with the idea of a produce swap day in our area. I'm aware that some of the everyday fruits and veggies available in NZ (not talking about exotic ones like hapus keri, the queen of mangoes) use up a lot of fuel to get here. We do have our Saturday Farmers' Market where local growers sell their produce at half the price of supermarkets. But why not take it a step further - get to know the community we live in and help ourselves become more self-sufficient by growing and swapping our own veggies?
This post is about two organisations I feel are helping my efforts. The city council - amongst many things, offers free visits and advice to individual homes. For example, a plot in our garden was overun by weeds. We'd been eyeing it for weeks and were reluctant to use a weed killer. We knew there was only one thing to do. Get the shovel and start digging. After a day of hard labour my husband managed to get one weed out with half its roots. Those roots seemed to reach middle earth. One down, thirty to go. Seeing how hopeless the task was we decided to shut it out of our minds and concentrate on the rest of the garden.
The lady from the city council showed us an easy way to get rid of the weeds and prime our soil for our edibles. She said this particular weed (unfortunately I don't remember its name) is very rich in nitrogen and rather than pull it out we should bury it as it would decompose and enrich our soil. The following diagram says it all.
The lime makes the soil acidic
the cardboard prevents sunlight and air from reaching the weed
the third layer is basically a carbon rich (and dry) layer
the fourth is nitrogen rich (and wet) and
all this together slowly decomposes to form more compost ready for the next lot of plants even as we grow our edibles in the compost which is the top layer.
The Green Gardener has a .pdf document on creating a "no dig garden" that explains it in more general terms - the above was specific to our garden.
Next, I'd like to talk about the free course on starting a project - any project. It is through an organisation which has a strong presence in India. In fact, it is through the Indian branch that I heard about the course. The only qualifier - you can't go it alone. Between 2 and 6 people in a group are invited to enrol for the course - I asked my neighbour if she would like to do the course with me and she said she would. The course teaches "Human Centred Design" - design based on stepping out of our comfort zones, reaching out to people, formulating ideas, prototyping and evolving them, interview and feedback skills and more. It is a five week course and we are into the second week. All groups - from over 130 countries - keep in touch through google+. We get no certificate at the end of the course - only knowledge to improve our skills of going out into, and dealing with, the community.
Let's see how successful we are. We'll keep you posted. As for our daughter, I'm sure you'll agree, she owes us a song.
must be catching for our daughter has made a very public pact with her brother and
cousins on facebook that when they grow old they promise not to bore
everyone with their gardening exploits. She belongs to a choir and
has promised if we talk of gardening, she'll sing songs at us :). Our response- don't push it till you've tried it.
Ambitious as I am, without becoming great at gardening and since the NZ government is encouraging city farming (which I've written about on the wonderful Pattu's terraced gardening blog ) I've started toying with the idea of a produce swap day in our area. I'm aware that some of the everyday fruits and veggies available in NZ (not talking about exotic ones like hapus keri, the queen of mangoes) use up a lot of fuel to get here. We do have our Saturday Farmers' Market where local growers sell their produce at half the price of supermarkets. But why not take it a step further - get to know the community we live in and help ourselves become more self-sufficient by growing and swapping our own veggies?
This post is about two organisations I feel are helping my efforts. The city council - amongst many things, offers free visits and advice to individual homes. For example, a plot in our garden was overun by weeds. We'd been eyeing it for weeks and were reluctant to use a weed killer. We knew there was only one thing to do. Get the shovel and start digging. After a day of hard labour my husband managed to get one weed out with half its roots. Those roots seemed to reach middle earth. One down, thirty to go. Seeing how hopeless the task was we decided to shut it out of our minds and concentrate on the rest of the garden.
The lady from the city council showed us an easy way to get rid of the weeds and prime our soil for our edibles. She said this particular weed (unfortunately I don't remember its name) is very rich in nitrogen and rather than pull it out we should bury it as it would decompose and enrich our soil. The following diagram says it all.
The lime makes the soil acidic
the cardboard prevents sunlight and air from reaching the weed
the third layer is basically a carbon rich (and dry) layer
the fourth is nitrogen rich (and wet) and
all this together slowly decomposes to form more compost ready for the next lot of plants even as we grow our edibles in the compost which is the top layer.
The Green Gardener has a .pdf document on creating a "no dig garden" that explains it in more general terms - the above was specific to our garden.
Next, I'd like to talk about the free course on starting a project - any project. It is through an organisation which has a strong presence in India. In fact, it is through the Indian branch that I heard about the course. The only qualifier - you can't go it alone. Between 2 and 6 people in a group are invited to enrol for the course - I asked my neighbour if she would like to do the course with me and she said she would. The course teaches "Human Centred Design" - design based on stepping out of our comfort zones, reaching out to people, formulating ideas, prototyping and evolving them, interview and feedback skills and more. It is a five week course and we are into the second week. All groups - from over 130 countries - keep in touch through google+. We get no certificate at the end of the course - only knowledge to improve our skills of going out into, and dealing with, the community.
Let's see how successful we are. We'll keep you posted. As for our daughter, I'm sure you'll agree, she owes us a song.
June 27, 2013
Are Green Homes in India only for the Elitist?
Someone asked this question during a wonderful Q & A session with Dr. Chandrashekar-Hariharan, Executive chairman, BCIL Zed Homes, on the future of green homes in India. The written transcript of the interview on "IBN Live" is here but I'd like to reproduce part of his answer to the question whether going green is a fashion statement.
He doesn't deny that is the general perception in India and then lets us know how and why that perception should change. It is obviously in his interest - he builds and sells green homes - to say so but I believe what he has to say about it being in our own interest to go green.
Human activities put gases like carbon monoxide, carbon-,sulpur-,
nitrogen-dioxide into our atmosphere. Besides breathing them in we
ingest
them through our food chain because they have seeped into
our soil and waters. Green Homes not only help us save on our bills,
they also help us reduce the production of these gases.
[For
articles on why these gases are deadly dangerous and what exactly they
do to our health and medical bills please visit my page, "Fumes We Breathe In Besides Oxygen". The same articles are on the "Green Dream Foundation, India" blog.]
And now, over to Dr. C-H
"... we are going green in OUR OWN interest. We must
go green because it enhances our security on energy and water; because
it saves us money on energy and water bills.
We pay today nearly Rs 130 to Rs 180 per thousand liters when we import
water by tankers! And this cost will only rise. We have to get smart on
the demand for fresh water and energy.
We have to reduce -- if not altogether eliminate -- our dependence on
the city civic infrastructure for energy, water and waste. We must go
on-grid with local solar/wind solutions for powering our homes and
offices. The cost is very attractive today, and the savings are immense.
We must stop exporting all waste from our apartment and office blocks,
even from our individual homes. We must stop relying on the Govt water
supply boards for fresh water. We must avoid making deep borewells, and
work on shallow aquifers with water and watershed management systems
that ensure water availability in open wells, like in our grandfather's
home.
Yes, there will be challenges at the extreme specific levels of a
building in your personal context. That can be easily overcome with
inputs from professionals who have domain expertise."
Here's the link to the rest of the interview again and it is absolutely worth a read. Questions are from ordinary Indians.
Finally, to end on a positive note, here's good news for our air, our soil and our waters. It is an innovation known as "Bloombox". It is just a tiny little box which has (to date) a small carbon footprint and has been sold to huge companies like Google, Ebay and others. This little box produces electricity and is the brainchild of K.R.Shridhar. His customers seem to be very satisfied with the bloombox claiming their regular electricity grids are at least four times more expensive. Go, KR.
He doesn't deny that is the general perception in India and then lets us know how and why that perception should change. It is obviously in his interest - he builds and sells green homes - to say so but I believe what he has to say about it being in our own interest to go green.
Human activities put gases like carbon monoxide, carbon-,sulpur-,
nitrogen-dioxide into our atmosphere. Besides breathing them in we
ingest
them through our food chain because they have seeped into
our soil and waters. Green Homes not only help us save on our bills,
they also help us reduce the production of these gases.
[For
articles on why these gases are deadly dangerous and what exactly they
do to our health and medical bills please visit my page, "Fumes We Breathe In Besides Oxygen". The same articles are on the "Green Dream Foundation, India" blog.]
And now, over to Dr. C-H
"... we are going green in OUR OWN interest. We must
go green because it enhances our security on energy and water; because
it saves us money on energy and water bills.
We pay today nearly Rs 130 to Rs 180 per thousand liters when we import
water by tankers! And this cost will only rise. We have to get smart on
the demand for fresh water and energy.
We have to reduce -- if not altogether eliminate -- our dependence on
the city civic infrastructure for energy, water and waste. We must go
on-grid with local solar/wind solutions for powering our homes and
offices. The cost is very attractive today, and the savings are immense.
We must stop exporting all waste from our apartment and office blocks,
even from our individual homes. We must stop relying on the Govt water
supply boards for fresh water. We must avoid making deep borewells, and
work on shallow aquifers with water and watershed management systems
that ensure water availability in open wells, like in our grandfather's
home.
Yes, there will be challenges at the extreme specific levels of a
building in your personal context. That can be easily overcome with
inputs from professionals who have domain expertise."
Here's the link to the rest of the interview again and it is absolutely worth a read. Questions are from ordinary Indians.
Finally, to end on a positive note, here's good news for our air, our soil and our waters. It is an innovation known as "Bloombox". It is just a tiny little box which has (to date) a small carbon footprint and has been sold to huge companies like Google, Ebay and others. This little box produces electricity and is the brainchild of K.R.Shridhar. His customers seem to be very satisfied with the bloombox claiming their regular electricity grids are at least four times more expensive. Go, KR.
June 14, 2013
A POA to Make Us Disciplined Drivers. Really?
Yes, really.
I have recently read at least two posts on bad driving. Rachana Parmar feels it is best to go with the
flow. If you can't beat 'em... It is tongue in cheek and, although she has a few
hilarious suggestions about driving in Bengalaru, you can sense her
frustration..
Arvind Passey speaks of his being made to feel
guilty by other drivers who have the temerity to glare at him if he stops at
red traffic lights early in the morning. The prize idiot! The fool! their
glares seem to say.
They
won't be satisfied until you are part of the chaos they create, Arvind. Aren't
there times when you feel like saying "eff it, I'm late today and they are
all doing it and getting away so why not I?"
Reckless
drivers are often (dare I use the word),
stupid. They feel powerful behind that wheel. They know with unshakeable conviction that the roads are full of fools - pedestrians, beggars, vendors, other drivers and that ruddy cow; that everyone is bent on throwing a spoke in their wheel. Unfortunately, as our road toll shows, too many of them risk not only
their own life and limb but have complete disregard for everyone else's. As
they expertly manoeuvre their cars into a narrow gap in the next lane
and glance victoriously at the frustration on the face of the driver
behind them they think to themselves, this is how it's done. And those overzealous goody-two-shoe-upstarts want to teach us driving. Let them try and outmanoeuvre us, and then talk.
Let's get real. Only the truly bold (and foolish) would attempt to change that mindset. It is the very first hurdle in a long list to overcome. Are we willing to face the flak? If the end - that of seeing order on
our roads - is still irresistible, read on.
Disciplined driving saves time. Traffic moving along smoothly does move faster. Knowing what the other driver can and will do dissipates much of the tension of driving. Reckless drivers have near misses daily but they are conditioned to brush aside the momentary stab of fear that accompanies those. They've lived to tell the tale, haven't they? Perhaps by the skin of their teeth but they think they've learnt from that lucky escape and won't repeat that mistake again. In the long run, such a mindset does take its toll on our health.
To change that mindset we'd need
to think outside the box - beyond helplessness, frustration or a spirit that cowers at the mere mention of driving in India.
First,
let me give you a few links to very good sites that tell you about driving in
India. Next, I'd like to discuss why we should come up with our own POA.
Here are
the links.
http://www.wikihow.com/Drive-in-India
http://www.delhitrafficpolice.nic.in/...
and
http://www.theautomotiveindia.com/for...
Raj 5004
at the above forum has some advice for the government which is worth repeating
(cut and pasted here). I do feel, if we wait for points one and two before trying to have
disciplined driving on our roads we might wait forever.
1) build
better roads with proper lanes.
2) stop corruption.
3) install automatic sensors which will catch offenders & they can pay fine
online.
4) traffic rules are not only for car, even for pedestrians. pedestrians should
cross only at zebra crossings, roads are not for bullock carts & animals.
5) most importantly, be strict on lane discipline. catch snails moving in the
right lane & changing lanes without indicators.
6) non working brake lights & indicators is an offence & should be
fined.
Great suggestions. As we all know, the difficulty is in the detail. To make ourselves aware of the pros and cons of each suggestion we'd need to analyse them. For example
Point
#4 mentions pedestrians. With our footpaths taken over by beggars, vendors and street dwellers,
it is difficult for our poor pedestrians, cows and pariah dogs not to walk on the roads.
Point #5
mentions lane driving. Experience teaches us that our potholed roads demand
swerving and weaving like drunks to prevent damage to our cars.
Point #6 - the deplorable conditions of some of our cars. I would leave that out of the equation for now as the sole business asset of many (and their families) is their car.
Which
brings me to what the next stage should be if we want disciplined driving
in spite of the difficulties discussed above.
What we need is a detailed plan of action. If each stage of the plan is on paper
to discuss, dissect, weigh and perhaps even discard, it
doesn’t matter if it is proved ridiculous or farfetched. Speaking of which,
here's one to start the ball rolling :)
This plan
would involve our government spending money so it would definitely not be the
best. (As you can see I do know how to sell my plan.) Hopefully, in its
defence, it would be a huge income generator.
My
plan is an expansion of Raj5004's point #3 - Automatic Sensors
Background
preparation:
First,
let there be messages in all media throughout India telling people about the
benefits of disciplined driving. These messages could be sponsored by business. In turn, they'd have the right to sell the message on T-shirts etc. Any car
manufacturer / dealer would jump at the chance. Animated films would capture a
younger audience so that they grow up with a different mindset. YouTube videos like these might prove popular.
Start
plugging potholes on target roads.
Let CCTV
cameras be placed above targeted traffic lights and dummy cameras everywhere else so that drivers
don't know which is which. Let these cameras be interchangeable so that
different roads are targeted on different days. The cameras would capture
footage so that there is proof someone has actually skipped a traffic light and
innocents aren't punished. Or that someone swerved to avoid a pothole, in which
case, no fine.
Perhaps, let the
fine be nominal for two reasons. First, people pay up readily but realise after three
fines that it hurts to delve into their pockets too often. Second, they see that it isn't worth offering a smaller bribe than the fine to the traffic police - that they would rather pay up the nominal fine.
The
possible problems - suggestions welcome:
If fines aren't paid up what should the next course of action be?
If a driver is a repeat offender what should the next course of action be? A stiffer fine after the third offence?
The awarding
of contracts - how do we make the process transparent? For example
to make and put up CCTV cameras
to
create the software
to
fill potholes
How do we prevent drivers
and traffic police from doing aapas mey, under-the-table deals?
How do we ensure that funds collected from this project are used
to plug more potholes
to buy more CCTV
cameras
to improve the system and make it more foolproof
for anything connected with disciplined driving?
Here are
a few suggestions but I'm sure there's loads I haven't thought of.
Software
experts should come up with a programme that links incriminating photographs directly to a website. The website generates reminders to pay up and warnings for not doing so. It automatically wipes out a debt after the fine is paid up. Individual traffic cops shouldn't be able to ignore an offence depending on
their hands being greased or tied because someone with "influence"
has broken the rules. Anyone should be able to see what's on the website
although access to the website should only be in the hands of a few - who? is
the moot question.
One last suggestions - perhaps we should warn car or truck owners that the
onus is on them to pay the fine and not on the driver.
A plan
full of holes? I welcome you to dissect it, shoot it to smithereens if you must
- just do it as politely as possible please.
Do
you have a plan? Let's hear of it. If nothing else, it will show us the
difficulties of implementation. At best, we'll be actively participating in the much harder phase of planning to
achieve what, at present, looks like an impossible dream – that of having disciplined traffic on our roads.
I am writing on Be Bold Stay Real at BlogAdda
June 4, 2013
Footpath Vendors and Rape - Where's the Connection?
Rape is a horrible offence but this case of rape seems to be full of holes. I am talking of the Dr. Rustom Soonawalla case.
Isn’t a man innocent until proven guilty? And proven guilty, not by the police but by the justice system?
In this episode the alleged rape victim had TB and was cured by Dr. Soonawalla. She had come for a check up with her husband. The husband
claims that the doctor sent him out and raped his wife at his clinic in Khar
at 7 pm. This is what strikes me as odd. There are a lot of hawkers outside his clinic. The husband was in the waiting room as was the receptionist. Yet nobody heard anything.
Also, the woman had TB - no one was more aware of that than the doctor. According to this article she was 99% cured.
TB, according to wikipedia, is a lethal infectious disease. Wiki's exact words,
Tuberculosis, MTB, or TB (short for tubercle bacillus) is a common, and in many cases lethal, infectious disease caused by various strains of mycobacteria, usually Mycobacterium tuberculosis ... Treatment
is difficult ... Social contacts are also screened and treated if
necessary.
Knowing that, would he, a doctor, have raped her? Raped someone who still had that 1% chance of having TB? To my mind he wouldn't have touched her except to treat her out of compassion as a doctor. Dr. Soonawalla was known to do a lot of social service.
As for the newspapers - this is what they initially said - that he ran away and has disappeared. One account from the Indian Express, nine days later, states the police had no search or arrest warrant and in fact, told him that his clinic had been broken into and that he should accompany them to the clinic (or police station - not sure). On the way one constable who was in Dr. Soonawalla's car told him it was nothing to do with his clinic but that he was being arrested for rape. That is when the doctor called his lawyer who instructed him not to go to the police station. His lawyer, Freny Ponda has said that he has promised to give his semen and blood samples - something no guilty person would be willing to do, provided the police don't arrest him at the hospital.
The Hindustan Times states that a case was registered at around 9.30pm on Friday. A medical test to
confirm rape was conducted on the alleged victim, the result of which is
awaited.
I searched to see what the Times of India had to say and surprisingly, couldn't find anything till the 4th of June. Perhaps I'm mistaken. Later I discovered an article in the Mumbai Mirror (a Mobile e-paper of the Times of India) titled, "
And here's one from the Mumbai Mirror - Activists Rally behind Khar doc, police await medical report.
One of the comments on the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) fb site states that - This
is all completely fabricated. Dr Soonawala is a very imminent and
respected doctor of the community. He has been working for the poor near
his place of practice for years. There were a lot of hawkers where he
practices and when he asked them repeatedly
to move out from that place which was illegally occupied by them, they
approached the local politicians and in order to teach the poor doctor,
they have filled this wrong rape case on him.
This will have no bearing on the case as in no way can it be proved. If it is true - if the local politician pitted the vendors against the doctor I hope the Aam Aadmi Party resists the temptation to do the same. Siding with the accusers without listening to the defence is doing just that. Apparently, Anjali Damania of the AAP has demanded that the doctor be arrested and the two policemen who let him get away be charged. Here’s AAP's account of what happened on
their fb, Maharashtra site: https://www.facebook.com/AAPMaharashtra/posts/646191792061262 and there are comments from a huge number of the doctor's patients vouching for his integrity.
If India is to become a land that upholds justice so that crooked individuals aren't able to flourish, everyone, whether rich or poor, has to see that justice isn't in the hands of politicians but is part of the system. Dr. Soonawalla's lawyer is right to demand he be tried through the justice system and not be arrested by the police without proper warrants.
The Bigger Picture: Hawkers were a convenience at one time. One didn't have to go far to buy whatever one wanted. But now they are spreading to occupy every inch of every footpath. They, naturally, want to continue plying their wares. They don't care if they make certain places inaccessible - perhaps even dirty.
People who pay rent to carry on a legitimate business expect that their place of work should remain accessible to their clients. They also hope that it remains reasonably clean.
In such a scenario, how would justice be done? Simply by ensuring hawkers have a proper place to ply their wares and people who pay rent are ensured access to their work place. Instead politicians play one set off against the other as long as they have the power to be the arbiters of justice and to decide who gets what. That is not justice. It is concentration of power in the wrong hands.
Life is being choked out of our cities - they have two-story-high garbage dumps, slum cities within their confines, footpaths that are used for anything but walking.
As Bhagu says about the attractions of our city in Never Mind Yaar - "…our beaches - the sound of the sea - if we can reach it, that is, through the obstacle course of vendors and beggars; our parks and playgrounds … …taken over by,” he shook his head ruefully, “… the same vendors and beggars;"
Our politicians have, yet again, failed to see the bigger picture. Not one of them addresses the real issue - that of attempting to plan our cities and take the reality on the ground into account - in this case, by giving illegal vendors proper areas to ply their wares which doesn't obstruct access to legitimate businesses.
The success of our cities is to ensure the success of both.
.
May 30, 2013
A Husband In Hot Water- True Story
dosi - old lady
On one of our walks my husband and I came upon a five year old playing in his garden. When his eyes fell on our little dog, he came running to the gate. Our dog went up to him immediately, tail wagging furiously and eyes full of joyous expectancy. The boy stooped down to pat her.
"Hello, little doggy," he said. All of 800 millimeters high, I guess he felt mighty tall compared to her. Then he looked up at us and asked, "What's your doggy's name?"
"Kara," I said.
"Ka--ra," he felt the name on his tongue, stroking her gently.
"I like it," he pronounced, smiling happily. We were both absurdly pleased with his seal of approval.
“How old is Kara?”
"She's an old lady. She's sixteen," said my husband.
"Oh,” said the young fella, looking up at us with eyes that were suddenly anxious. Mystified, we looked back at his worried face. We could tell he wanted to say something. We waited, encouraging smiles on our faces, as Kara ran off to investigate a smell.
“I have a dog too,” he announced at last.
“Really? What’s your dog’s name?”
“Cuddles,” he said his eyes softening momentarily. The next second they clouded over again and he quickly turned away. We wondered what was bothering him as we watched him, fascinated. What an amazingly mobile face. Unable to keep his worry to himself a moment longer he turned to face us and blurted out, “He and my mum are very old. They’re twenty-one..." His voice trailed away.
If our hearts hadn’t melted at the troubled look on his little face we would have laughed. Instead, with grave faces we assured him twenty-one wasn’t old for humans. Only dogs. A bit comforted he bent down to hide his obvious relief and patted Kara again.
“Fre-dy,” called a soft voice from inside the house. We’d sensed her presence behind a window, ensuring her son was safe as he chatted with strangers at the gate.
“Bye, Kara,” he smiled, waving at us and our dog before running off. “Com-ing...”
With a wave at him that somewhat included his mum, we continued walking.
“I guess that was his old lady,” I smiled.
“We should meet her,” said my husband gravely.
“Why,” I asked, puzzled.
“Just to reassure her twenty-one isn’t old ...” he said, the look in his eye belying his serious tones.
I laughed. His being all of thirty-five I couldn’t resist teasing, “Coming from you that would be perfectly believable.”
“Wonder what the little chap would think of your age,” my darling hubby, four years my junior and not to be outdone, pondered solemnly as he looked for my reaction out of the corners of his eyes.
“Wonder what she’d think of yours,” I retorted, smiling grimly. It was his turn to laugh.
We continued walking in companionable silence. Braced by the heady scent of jasmine and pine mingled with roses we breathed in deeply. The New Zealand air felt crisp and cool. As we approached our favourite park we picked up our pace.
Suddenly, my husband took off from behind. “Come on my two dosi-s*,” he teased as he ran past. Kara would’ve easily caught up with him but unfortunately for her, she was stuck with me. We still chased after him but he was already sprinting way ahead. We ran around the park and slightly out of breath, reached the exit closest to home.
Settling back into a leisurely pace I said, “Even with you shooting off without any warning, us dosis came a very close second. Didn’t we Kara?”
Her tongue hanging right out, Kara looked up at me and wagged her tail. My husband, I could tell with an inward smile, was ready with something smart on the tip of his tongue. I waited, only to have him bite it all back. He darted a guilty look at me at exactly the same moment as I looked at him, puzzled. He looked away hastily.
As we neared home, I noticed him glance at me more than once. What’s bothering him? I wondered.
“Hope you’re not upset?”
“Why would I be?”
“That quip I made about your being a dosi? That was just a joke.”
Oh, so that was it. “I know,” I replied, lightly. Something in my tone must’ve been at variance with my words for his eyes went to my face and looked away warily. I pretended not to notice.
Why’s he going all apologetic for nothing, I wondered, ever so slightly annoyed. My mind had begun churning out thoughts I couldn’t help. Why does he think I can’t take his calling me a dosi? Does he think I have no sense of humour? Or does he think I’m so overly sensitive it will undermine my confidence?
Slight resentment began seeping through my mind and it showed in my stiffened bearing. Have I ever let my age dictate who I am? My thoughts were on a roll. There simply was no stopping them. Perhaps he has begun worrying about our age difference, I thought uncharitably, knowing it was neither true nor fair.
I kept ignoring his worried looks, pretending it would make matters worse if I said anything right then, while I was feeling negative. I gave myself a little pat on the back for wisely keeping mum. Had I examined my true motives closely, I might’ve had to face the uncomfortable fact that watching him stew in his apprehensions gave me a perverse sense of gratification.
Finally, realising I was unwilling to admit I was put off he gave up trying to probe. We passed the most majestic of golden ashes, a copper beech with outstanding red foliage that contrasted vividly with the greenery around it, and a eucalyptus that shone silver in a gentle breeze before I managed to get my own thoughts in order.
I felt vaguely ashamed of my silent tantrum but the moment to say anything had somehow passed. I’d apologise some other time. For the rest of our walk we indulged in our favourite pastime of peeking into and commenting on interesting front gardens of private properties. Both pretended to enjoy the exercise as much as we always did, but it was an uneasy truce.
Tired, yet refreshed, we reached home. As we let ourselves in I was acutely conscious of what lay ahead - the inescapable weekend grind. The house, the garden, cooking... I normally attacked it with vigour but today the thought made me grumpy. That I was trying hard to forget how small minded I’d been might have something to do with it. The kids were away – a sleepover and perhaps a blessing. I needed to work this feeling out of my system but not by slaving over the stove or attending to their needs. Damn the housework, I thought. It can wait.
“I am just not in the mood for cooking,” I sighed and flopped on to the sofa.
“Why don’t we go out for lunch,” he suggested.
“Oh no,” I replied, “Too soon after our walk.”
“What!” he exclaimed, feigning surprise. “Who’s getting ol..” and he stopped in his tracks.
I looked at him in dismay. Oh no, I thought, this has got to stop. This time, though, my anger spent, I just wanted to clear up the misunderstanding.
I began tentatively, “I’m sorry if I was upset during our walk.”
He shook his head and I don’t know why, it made me emotional. I continued in a distinctly wobbly voice, “I should have cleared the air right when it happened instead of letting it fester.”
“That’s oka...”
“But I was offended at the implied criticism – that I was so totally dour ...so lacking in confidence that I’d get upset if you joked about my being a dosi.”
He opened his mouth to protest but I was eager to carry on giving vent to thoughts I’d bottled up since the walk.
“It made me think to myself, am I such a frump?”
He winced and shook his head weakly. “I... no, of course no..” he began just as I reproached, “I thought you knew me better.”
“I..Yes, yes, of course I do. I mean - know...” and his voice trailed off in confusion.
Having spilt out all that had been spinning and buzzing at the back of my mind, I realised the poor chap needed a little time to gather his thoughts. I decided I’d wait patiently for his words of apology and when they came, I’d accept them graciously.
After an interminable silence I darted him a quick look. Why didn’t he say something? Anything? Oh no! Was he remembering the incident and feeling upset all over again. Should I simply have left well alone - not raked it up? Never mind his apology, wasn’t he at least going to accept mine?
My mind was racing but my heart had slumped into my shoes. I’d almost given up when I felt an arm slowly go about my shoulders. Then he patted them affectionately.
“Sorry, old girl,” he said
Had I heard right? I looked at him suspiciously. He was trying hard to look chastened but his lips were twitching. I watched him, my confused mind trying to grapple with what he’d just done. Three words and he’d managed to say it all. The ratbag! Struggling with how best I should accept those words I watched the tic that still worked at the side of his mouth. Then I caved in. Together, we laughed helplessly.
Never down for long my man was back to being his irrepressible self.
It had turned out to be quite a lovely day after all.
I am writing on Be Bold Stay Real at BlogAdda
dosi - old lady
17th July, 2013. If you've enjoyed my short stories please vote for them here
Also a guest post on, "Facts and Nonsense" - Deajyoti's blog. Deb has added a hilarious cartoon to the post. And thank-you to Deb's readers for their kind comments.
On one of our walks my husband and I came upon a five year old playing in his garden. When his eyes fell on our little dog, he came running to the gate. Our dog went up to him immediately, tail wagging furiously and eyes full of joyous expectancy. The boy stooped down to pat her.
"Hello, little doggy," he said. All of 800 millimeters high, I guess he felt mighty tall compared to her. Then he looked up at us and asked, "What's your doggy's name?"
"Kara," I said.
"Ka--ra," he felt the name on his tongue, stroking her gently.
"I like it," he pronounced, smiling happily. We were both absurdly pleased with his seal of approval.
“How old is Kara?”
"She's an old lady. She's sixteen," said my husband.
"Oh,” said the young fella, looking up at us with eyes that were suddenly anxious. Mystified, we looked back at his worried face. We could tell he wanted to say something. We waited, encouraging smiles on our faces, as Kara ran off to investigate a smell.
“I have a dog too,” he announced at last.
“Really? What’s your dog’s name?”
“Cuddles,” he said his eyes softening momentarily. The next second they clouded over again and he quickly turned away. We wondered what was bothering him as we watched him, fascinated. What an amazingly mobile face. Unable to keep his worry to himself a moment longer he turned to face us and blurted out, “He and my mum are very old. They’re twenty-one..." His voice trailed away.
If our hearts hadn’t melted at the troubled look on his little face we would have laughed. Instead, with grave faces we assured him twenty-one wasn’t old for humans. Only dogs. A bit comforted he bent down to hide his obvious relief and patted Kara again.
“Fre-dy,” called a soft voice from inside the house. We’d sensed her presence behind a window, ensuring her son was safe as he chatted with strangers at the gate.
“Bye, Kara,” he smiled, waving at us and our dog before running off. “Com-ing...”
With a wave at him that somewhat included his mum, we continued walking.
“I guess that was his old lady,” I smiled.
“We should meet her,” said my husband gravely.
“Why,” I asked, puzzled.
“Just to reassure her twenty-one isn’t old ...” he said, the look in his eye belying his serious tones.
I laughed. His being all of thirty-five I couldn’t resist teasing, “Coming from you that would be perfectly believable.”
“Wonder what the little chap would think of your age,” my darling hubby, four years my junior and not to be outdone, pondered solemnly as he looked for my reaction out of the corners of his eyes.
“Wonder what she’d think of yours,” I retorted, smiling grimly. It was his turn to laugh.
We continued walking in companionable silence. Braced by the heady scent of jasmine and pine mingled with roses we breathed in deeply. The New Zealand air felt crisp and cool. As we approached our favourite park we picked up our pace.
Suddenly, my husband took off from behind. “Come on my two dosi-s*,” he teased as he ran past. Kara would’ve easily caught up with him but unfortunately for her, she was stuck with me. We still chased after him but he was already sprinting way ahead. We ran around the park and slightly out of breath, reached the exit closest to home.
Settling back into a leisurely pace I said, “Even with you shooting off without any warning, us dosis came a very close second. Didn’t we Kara?”
Her tongue hanging right out, Kara looked up at me and wagged her tail. My husband, I could tell with an inward smile, was ready with something smart on the tip of his tongue. I waited, only to have him bite it all back. He darted a guilty look at me at exactly the same moment as I looked at him, puzzled. He looked away hastily.
As we neared home, I noticed him glance at me more than once. What’s bothering him? I wondered.
“Hope you’re not upset?”
“Why would I be?”
“That quip I made about your being a dosi? That was just a joke.”
Oh, so that was it. “I know,” I replied, lightly. Something in my tone must’ve been at variance with my words for his eyes went to my face and looked away warily. I pretended not to notice.
Why’s he going all apologetic for nothing, I wondered, ever so slightly annoyed. My mind had begun churning out thoughts I couldn’t help. Why does he think I can’t take his calling me a dosi? Does he think I have no sense of humour? Or does he think I’m so overly sensitive it will undermine my confidence?
Slight resentment began seeping through my mind and it showed in my stiffened bearing. Have I ever let my age dictate who I am? My thoughts were on a roll. There simply was no stopping them. Perhaps he has begun worrying about our age difference, I thought uncharitably, knowing it was neither true nor fair.
I kept ignoring his worried looks, pretending it would make matters worse if I said anything right then, while I was feeling negative. I gave myself a little pat on the back for wisely keeping mum. Had I examined my true motives closely, I might’ve had to face the uncomfortable fact that watching him stew in his apprehensions gave me a perverse sense of gratification.
Finally, realising I was unwilling to admit I was put off he gave up trying to probe. We passed the most majestic of golden ashes, a copper beech with outstanding red foliage that contrasted vividly with the greenery around it, and a eucalyptus that shone silver in a gentle breeze before I managed to get my own thoughts in order.
I felt vaguely ashamed of my silent tantrum but the moment to say anything had somehow passed. I’d apologise some other time. For the rest of our walk we indulged in our favourite pastime of peeking into and commenting on interesting front gardens of private properties. Both pretended to enjoy the exercise as much as we always did, but it was an uneasy truce.
Tired, yet refreshed, we reached home. As we let ourselves in I was acutely conscious of what lay ahead - the inescapable weekend grind. The house, the garden, cooking... I normally attacked it with vigour but today the thought made me grumpy. That I was trying hard to forget how small minded I’d been might have something to do with it. The kids were away – a sleepover and perhaps a blessing. I needed to work this feeling out of my system but not by slaving over the stove or attending to their needs. Damn the housework, I thought. It can wait.
“I am just not in the mood for cooking,” I sighed and flopped on to the sofa.
“Why don’t we go out for lunch,” he suggested.
“Oh no,” I replied, “Too soon after our walk.”
“What!” he exclaimed, feigning surprise. “Who’s getting ol..” and he stopped in his tracks.
I looked at him in dismay. Oh no, I thought, this has got to stop. This time, though, my anger spent, I just wanted to clear up the misunderstanding.
I began tentatively, “I’m sorry if I was upset during our walk.”
He shook his head and I don’t know why, it made me emotional. I continued in a distinctly wobbly voice, “I should have cleared the air right when it happened instead of letting it fester.”
“That’s oka...”
“But I was offended at the implied criticism – that I was so totally dour ...so lacking in confidence that I’d get upset if you joked about my being a dosi.”
He opened his mouth to protest but I was eager to carry on giving vent to thoughts I’d bottled up since the walk.
“It made me think to myself, am I such a frump?”
He winced and shook his head weakly. “I... no, of course no..” he began just as I reproached, “I thought you knew me better.”
“I..Yes, yes, of course I do. I mean - know...” and his voice trailed off in confusion.
Having spilt out all that had been spinning and buzzing at the back of my mind, I realised the poor chap needed a little time to gather his thoughts. I decided I’d wait patiently for his words of apology and when they came, I’d accept them graciously.
After an interminable silence I darted him a quick look. Why didn’t he say something? Anything? Oh no! Was he remembering the incident and feeling upset all over again. Should I simply have left well alone - not raked it up? Never mind his apology, wasn’t he at least going to accept mine?
My mind was racing but my heart had slumped into my shoes. I’d almost given up when I felt an arm slowly go about my shoulders. Then he patted them affectionately.
“Sorry, old girl,” he said
Had I heard right? I looked at him suspiciously. He was trying hard to look chastened but his lips were twitching. I watched him, my confused mind trying to grapple with what he’d just done. Three words and he’d managed to say it all. The ratbag! Struggling with how best I should accept those words I watched the tic that still worked at the side of his mouth. Then I caved in. Together, we laughed helplessly.
Never down for long my man was back to being his irrepressible self.
It had turned out to be quite a lovely day after all.
I am writing on Be Bold Stay Real at BlogAdda
dosi - old lady
17th July, 2013. If you've enjoyed my short stories please vote for them here
Also a guest post on, "Facts and Nonsense" - Deajyoti's blog. Deb has added a hilarious cartoon to the post. And thank-you to Deb's readers for their kind comments.
May 22, 2013
Trying Hard To Be Sensible
What’s the day today, my heart gives a lurch
I tell myself to be sensible, free as that bird on its perch
Photo courtesy A.Mathur
Its days aren’t crawling, it’s good to be alive
There’s work to be done, there’s life to be lived,
The sun on its back, a sudden flutter of wings,
A juicy worm for breakfast and now, time to sing.
In the end it is best to remember
Publishing is a business,
To make it viable they must pick stories they think will sell
And, (we are told) ones they think, will go together well.
There are so many considerations that the best might miss out.
Take heart. I know rejection is hard.
For later, like the bird in its tree, the joyful bard.
Photo courtesy A.Mathur
We will get back up and on with the business of
living
Photo courtesy A.Mathur
And on occasion,we’re sure to bring out our stories,
read them and rejoice in our talent.
This post was written on the eve of the results of the HarperCollins / Indiblogger short story competition. My story - A Husband In Hot Water: What does a poor man do when his stroppy wife takes offence? Find out what this husband did. Genre - Humour.
April 26, 2013
Can We Change the Mindset of People Who Condone Rape?
My post is limited in scope. It asks if we can change the mindset of people who condone rape. Here, right at the outset are a couple of well thought out, well researched and informed articles on rape in reputable newspapers - Tehelka and The Hindu.
"How Do We Stop Rapes and Challenging India's Rape Culture.
Going back to our ability to change people's mindset, according to ehow,
"To change a mindset you first need to know that your mindset needs
changing.
Many
people don't know that they need to change their mindset.
Then
there are those who are in denial, which means they know, but are too
scared to make the changes.
Finally,
there are those who know and do.
Take the rapists. Whatever their justification they certainly don't
acknowledge that their mindset needs changing. According to Ruchira Gupta in one of the articles mentioned above the rapists might feel it is gungho, macho "masculine" to rape. Where does that notion come from? Ruchira feels it is promoted by their role models in
politics, business and the media.
Who else won't acknowledge their mindset needs changing?
The ones who have grown up believing males will be
males and females ought to be more careful if they don't want to be raped have
that mindset. They might not be rapists themselves but they hold that firm belief. We've heard such comments from our politicians and the police - the "influencers" - a term used by Angela in her post about rape in India.
People who are in denial: We can
safely say the rapist's family is in denial. They don't want the perpetrator
to be punished. Some male police and politicians are in denial. This category
knows rape is the perpetrator's fault and the victim isn't to blame. They are
either intimidated by their peers, are apathetic or lack the courage to work
for change. Best to stay out of controversy and play it safe. Many of us - both
male and female, fall into this category too.
As
for the ones who feel it is
time this mindset changed - (the rest of us), we are only just learning
to make our voices heard. We've been subdued over time by the
indifference, ruthlessness and corruption of individuals
in our government and bureaucracy. Yet we are angered beyond belief by
the
brutality of the recent rapes. How exactly can we, who find rape
abhorrent,
change this mindset in India so that they
are forced to care about the safety of women in India
scrupulously register cases
of rape without question? (I've
always wondered why the police have this reluctance to register
rape
cases. One reason is that some of them are male chauvinists. What
are the
other reasons? Diktats from individuals in government with threats
of transfer if they don't do as they are told? Will someone please table
ALL possible reasons so we can understand their reluctance?) And
mete out swift justice to both, the perpetrator and the victim?
Keeping in mind what we can (not what they should) do:
We could stop accepting and
giving dowries. Isn't giving our precious daughter away enough? Or is she so worthless some of us feel compelled to offer a little(!) compensation to sweeten the rotten deal they are getting? How
long are we going to keep stoking the myth that men are vastly superior
to women? How long will marriage remain a deal between unequals rather than a rewarding partnership between two human beings?
The
economically backward won't
change that mindset because money from any source is welcome. But the
well off? (My instinctive belief is that the more they demand the worse
they'll treat your daughter as nothing will be enough for them. Is that
the kind of miserable family you are willing to give her into?)
Legally dowries are abolished but mindsets still haven't changed.
As G. Pandrang Rao
said in a comment in Angela's post, it is ridiculous that some people in India
don't rejoice at the birth of a baby girl.
The poor certainly don't. How can they? All they see is financial ruin and the heavy yoke of debt for life after her marriage.
Protest marches? People's
enthusiasm wanes after some time and the government knows they just have to
wait it out till people's energies and resources start wearing thin before they
are back in "business" - carrying on with other "important"
matters. And now, the police have started slapping protestors as we found out
recently. Ugh. Without speculating we've got to find out from the horse's mouth what they think their job really is.
Even if our marches aren’t that
successful – after all many of us are new to public protests - an expose makes
the perpetrators, the police and the government embarrassed. It hurts
their image. We cannot afford to give up on protest marches.
Office culture: We
could change it if everyone decides on zero tolerance for sexual harassment,
be it from the boss or the peon. It doesn't depend on the government nor does it depend on the
police. It depends on us, the so-called educated and the enlightened. Having said that I hope "zero tolerance" doesn't go to the other extreme. Decent men shouldn't be afraid to be within 6 feet of women nor should their every joke be misconstrued as sexual harassment.
We don't want a partition or a purdah nor do we want to kill light hearted fun - that would be a tragedy - we
just want sexual harassment in offices to stop and we want decent men on
our side.
Making the laws of our land work: Here's what
young Bharati said in Never Mind Yaar "The common umbrella we all share
is that of our humanity, guided by the laws of our city. This helps provide
order, peace and justice through which we share our city's resources. This
umbrella covers all of us in our diversity; all of us have to obey its dictates
to be able to live and prosper together, under its shade."
"Our humanity and the laws
of the country!" Unfortunately, today we have to conclude that the
humanity of people in power is questionable. The safety of women on the streets
isn't on their minds. The laws of our country? We have to acknowledge they haven't helped most victims of rape.
They are ineffective because the "influencers" either ignore them or
bend them at will. They are not afraid of the consequences of doing so.
With so much power in their pocket why would they even want to change their mindset about raping or condoning rape?
And so, the moot
question is,
How do we ensure people in power feel afraid of
the consequences of ignoring or bending the law?
To my mind there is an easy way. But first here's
what Singapore did to spruce up their government - to make it honest
and transparent. They made a concerted effort to eradicate corruption.
This is a UN report compiled by a member of the Singapore
"Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau" (CPIB). To give you a slight
taste -
In 1959, when Singapore
attained self-government, ..... enforcement action was difficult against the
corrupt because of:
a. weak laws: the offence was non-seizable and the powers provided to the
officers of the CPIB were inadequate to enable them to carry out their duties
effectively;
b. gathering of evidence was difficult because of the weak anti-corruption law
and this had resulted in many corrupt public officers getting away with their
crime;
c. the people generally were less educated and did not know their rights. They
were submissive in their dealings with public officers in authority and were
accustomed to unfair treatment by them;
d. public officers were not adequately paid compared with those in the private
sector. Many of them became indebted through lavish lifestyle. Integrity in the
public service was therefore lacking and some of the public officers resorted
to
corruption to make ends meet;
e. CPIB officers then were drawn from the Singapore Police Force on short
secondment. They were not fully committed to combating corruption especially
when it involved their fellow police officers. Furthermore, the short
secondment was disruptive as before an investigation could be completed, they
were already due for posting. After independence the political leaders amended
the laws to give more powers to the CPIB officers. To win public trust and
confidence, the leaders took it upon themselves to set good examples for public
officers to follow. They created a climate of honesty and integrity. Some of
the examples set were:
a. they divested themselves from any involvement in financial or commercial
ties;
b. they reported for work earlier than their subordinates
It is a nine page report and
worth a read. Do you see any similarities between Singapore in 1959 and us
today - 50 years later? Knowing so many members of our government and the major
opposition have been accused of corruption and that they hold India to ransom,
knowing they aren't interested in changing the status quo or knowing they
believe they are so powerful they can cut down anything or anyone who stands in
their way without any respect for life, property or the laws of our land,
knowing they have either raped, condoned rape or ignored it or even allowed rape to teach a whole (minority)
community a lesson, how we vote in the coming election could make all the
difference.
That, to my mind, is the easiest way to change their mindset.
Let us not be afraid to vote out
the looters, the corrupt, the arrogant, the indifferent; the ones who have fed off kickbacks as a result of which
they've make decisions that don't necessarily benefit India or Indians; the ones who've cheated farmers out of the land they were tilling, who haven't
declare their assets right at the outset and are billionaires now. Let us especially vote out the ones who've condoned rape (by their actions or inactions) and are rapists
themselves. Let us not be fooled by them mouthing platitudes to win our votes.
Let them not put fear in our
minds about voting them out. It isn't the consequences of our actions that we
should be afraid of. It is the consequences of theirs that they should
be afraid of.
Fear of punishment is the only thing that will make all our politicians accountable to India and Indians. It is the only thing that will force them to take swift action against rape (and corruption); to make our laws against rape effective. Nothing else will change their mindset.
"How Do We Stop Rapes and Challenging India's Rape Culture.
Going back to our ability to change people's mindset, according to ehow,
"To change a mindset you first need to know that your mindset needs
changing.
Many
people don't know that they need to change their mindset.
Then
there are those who are in denial, which means they know, but are too
scared to make the changes.
Finally,
there are those who know and do.
Take the rapists. Whatever their justification they certainly don't
acknowledge that their mindset needs changing. According to Ruchira Gupta in one of the articles mentioned above the rapists might feel it is gungho, macho "masculine" to rape. Where does that notion come from? Ruchira feels it is promoted by their role models in
politics, business and the media.
Who else won't acknowledge their mindset needs changing?
The ones who have grown up believing males will be
males and females ought to be more careful if they don't want to be raped have
that mindset. They might not be rapists themselves but they hold that firm belief. We've heard such comments from our politicians and the police - the "influencers" - a term used by Angela in her post about rape in India.
People who are in denial: We can
safely say the rapist's family is in denial. They don't want the perpetrator
to be punished. Some male police and politicians are in denial. This category
knows rape is the perpetrator's fault and the victim isn't to blame. They are
either intimidated by their peers, are apathetic or lack the courage to work
for change. Best to stay out of controversy and play it safe. Many of us - both
male and female, fall into this category too.
As
for the ones who feel it is
time this mindset changed - (the rest of us), we are only just learning
to make our voices heard. We've been subdued over time by the
indifference, ruthlessness and corruption of individuals
in our government and bureaucracy. Yet we are angered beyond belief by
the
brutality of the recent rapes. How exactly can we, who find rape
abhorrent,
change this mindset in India so that they
are forced to care about the safety of women in India
scrupulously register cases
of rape without question? (I've
always wondered why the police have this reluctance to register
rape
cases. One reason is that some of them are male chauvinists. What
are the
other reasons? Diktats from individuals in government with threats
of transfer if they don't do as they are told? Will someone please table
ALL possible reasons so we can understand their reluctance?) And
mete out swift justice to both, the perpetrator and the victim?
Keeping in mind what we can (not what they should) do:
We could stop accepting and
giving dowries. Isn't giving our precious daughter away enough? Or is she so worthless some of us feel compelled to offer a little(!) compensation to sweeten the rotten deal they are getting? How
long are we going to keep stoking the myth that men are vastly superior
to women? How long will marriage remain a deal between unequals rather than a rewarding partnership between two human beings?
The
economically backward won't
change that mindset because money from any source is welcome. But the
well off? (My instinctive belief is that the more they demand the worse
they'll treat your daughter as nothing will be enough for them. Is that
the kind of miserable family you are willing to give her into?)
Legally dowries are abolished but mindsets still haven't changed.
As G. Pandrang Rao
said in a comment in Angela's post, it is ridiculous that some people in India
don't rejoice at the birth of a baby girl.
The poor certainly don't. How can they? All they see is financial ruin and the heavy yoke of debt for life after her marriage.
Protest marches? People's
enthusiasm wanes after some time and the government knows they just have to
wait it out till people's energies and resources start wearing thin before they
are back in "business" - carrying on with other "important"
matters. And now, the police have started slapping protestors as we found out
recently. Ugh. Without speculating we've got to find out from the horse's mouth what they think their job really is.
Even if our marches aren’t that
successful – after all many of us are new to public protests - an expose makes
the perpetrators, the police and the government embarrassed. It hurts
their image. We cannot afford to give up on protest marches.
Office culture: We
could change it if everyone decides on zero tolerance for sexual harassment,
be it from the boss or the peon. It doesn't depend on the government nor does it depend on the
police. It depends on us, the so-called educated and the enlightened. Having said that I hope "zero tolerance" doesn't go to the other extreme. Decent men shouldn't be afraid to be within 6 feet of women nor should their every joke be misconstrued as sexual harassment.
We don't want a partition or a purdah nor do we want to kill light hearted fun - that would be a tragedy - we
just want sexual harassment in offices to stop and we want decent men on
our side.
Making the laws of our land work: Here's what
young Bharati said in Never Mind Yaar "The common umbrella we all share
is that of our humanity, guided by the laws of our city. This helps provide
order, peace and justice through which we share our city's resources. This
umbrella covers all of us in our diversity; all of us have to obey its dictates
to be able to live and prosper together, under its shade."
"Our humanity and the laws
of the country!" Unfortunately, today we have to conclude that the
humanity of people in power is questionable. The safety of women on the streets
isn't on their minds. The laws of our country? We have to acknowledge they haven't helped most victims of rape.
They are ineffective because the "influencers" either ignore them or
bend them at will. They are not afraid of the consequences of doing so.
With so much power in their pocket why would they even want to change their mindset about raping or condoning rape?
And so, the moot
question is,
How do we ensure people in power feel afraid of
the consequences of ignoring or bending the law?
To my mind there is an easy way. But first here's
what Singapore did to spruce up their government - to make it honest
and transparent. They made a concerted effort to eradicate corruption.
This is a UN report compiled by a member of the Singapore
"Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau" (CPIB). To give you a slight
taste -
In 1959, when Singapore
attained self-government, ..... enforcement action was difficult against the
corrupt because of:
a. weak laws: the offence was non-seizable and the powers provided to the
officers of the CPIB were inadequate to enable them to carry out their duties
effectively;
b. gathering of evidence was difficult because of the weak anti-corruption law
and this had resulted in many corrupt public officers getting away with their
crime;
c. the people generally were less educated and did not know their rights. They
were submissive in their dealings with public officers in authority and were
accustomed to unfair treatment by them;
d. public officers were not adequately paid compared with those in the private
sector. Many of them became indebted through lavish lifestyle. Integrity in the
public service was therefore lacking and some of the public officers resorted
to
corruption to make ends meet;
e. CPIB officers then were drawn from the Singapore Police Force on short
secondment. They were not fully committed to combating corruption especially
when it involved their fellow police officers. Furthermore, the short
secondment was disruptive as before an investigation could be completed, they
were already due for posting. After independence the political leaders amended
the laws to give more powers to the CPIB officers. To win public trust and
confidence, the leaders took it upon themselves to set good examples for public
officers to follow. They created a climate of honesty and integrity. Some of
the examples set were:
a. they divested themselves from any involvement in financial or commercial
ties;
b. they reported for work earlier than their subordinates
It is a nine page report and
worth a read. Do you see any similarities between Singapore in 1959 and us
today - 50 years later? Knowing so many members of our government and the major
opposition have been accused of corruption and that they hold India to ransom,
knowing they aren't interested in changing the status quo or knowing they
believe they are so powerful they can cut down anything or anyone who stands in
their way without any respect for life, property or the laws of our land,
knowing they have either raped, condoned rape or ignored it or even allowed rape to teach a whole (minority)
community a lesson, how we vote in the coming election could make all the
difference.
That, to my mind, is the easiest way to change their mindset.
Let us not be afraid to vote out
the looters, the corrupt, the arrogant, the indifferent; the ones who have fed off kickbacks as a result of which
they've make decisions that don't necessarily benefit India or Indians; the ones who've cheated farmers out of the land they were tilling, who haven't
declare their assets right at the outset and are billionaires now. Let us especially vote out the ones who've condoned rape (by their actions or inactions) and are rapists
themselves. Let us not be fooled by them mouthing platitudes to win our votes.
Let them not put fear in our
minds about voting them out. It isn't the consequences of our actions that we
should be afraid of. It is the consequences of theirs that they should
be afraid of.
Fear of punishment is the only thing that will make all our politicians accountable to India and Indians. It is the only thing that will force them to take swift action against rape (and corruption); to make our laws against rape effective. Nothing else will change their mindset.
April 16, 2013
Taken to Court for Growing Veges.
By now we know that traffic fumes and overcrowding are huge culprits in depleting our natural resources. One outcome - our fruit and veges (veggies) grow in very poor quality soil.
Last year my husband and I decided we'd try and enrich our soil. At first, after months of effort we managed to produce a smelly, gooey slop. Now we are producing much better soil - sweet smelling, although it is still a bit lumpy.
What are we doing wrong? We attended a free city council sponsored course to find out. Apparently we aren't using enough brown organic waste. We all know about the two types of organic waste but bear with me as I feel it is worth repeating.
Brown and green organic waste: Both are essential for
composting in approximately equal parts. Both need to be moist - not wet and aerated so that the micro organisms that convert it all to compost get oxygen.
Brown Waste includes: Brown, dried leaves, dried grass, hay, sawdust (in moderation as the carbon content is way too much) and all kinds of paper, preferably shredded.
Green Waste: Fresh (green) Grass clippings, Kitchen scraps (fruit, vegetables,
coffee grounds, tea bags), weeds, green leaves, etc.
As for methods of composting, I won't duplicate the advice of millions of online experts..
This summer we tried growing a few fruit and veges in our own home-composted soil. I can't begin to tell you how impressed we were with nature's bounty. We had a bumper crop each week and it lasted us throughout summer. Our capsicums were the sweetest and tender crisp, our cherry tomatoes were sweet and juicy and our mirchi, fat and not too teekha - exactly as we like them. Next season we are planning on more varieties of veges, fruit and herbs.
Eventually, once we are confident we have reasonably green thumbs we hope to get involved with our neighbourhood's community gardening efforts. If you'd like to find out about community gardens which are gaining popularity in NZ, I've written a guest post on Pattu's blog.
You might well ask what our composting, vege-growing and community efforts have to do with the title. That is Ron Finley's story. He's a great ambassador for community gardening and its benefits. He also has practical advice on making each community garden viable, long term and sustainable. And yes, someone did slap a case on him for growing veges.
Here's the link to his story in his own entertaining, humorous and
inimitable style - TedX talk by Ron Finley.
Last year my husband and I decided we'd try and enrich our soil. At first, after months of effort we managed to produce a smelly, gooey slop. Now we are producing much better soil - sweet smelling, although it is still a bit lumpy.
What are we doing wrong? We attended a free city council sponsored course to find out. Apparently we aren't using enough brown organic waste. We all know about the two types of organic waste but bear with me as I feel it is worth repeating.
Brown and green organic waste: Both are essential for
composting in approximately equal parts. Both need to be moist - not wet and aerated so that the micro organisms that convert it all to compost get oxygen.
Brown Waste includes: Brown, dried leaves, dried grass, hay, sawdust (in moderation as the carbon content is way too much) and all kinds of paper, preferably shredded.
Green Waste: Fresh (green) Grass clippings, Kitchen scraps (fruit, vegetables,
coffee grounds, tea bags), weeds, green leaves, etc.
As for methods of composting, I won't duplicate the advice of millions of online experts..
This summer we tried growing a few fruit and veges in our own home-composted soil. I can't begin to tell you how impressed we were with nature's bounty. We had a bumper crop each week and it lasted us throughout summer. Our capsicums were the sweetest and tender crisp, our cherry tomatoes were sweet and juicy and our mirchi, fat and not too teekha - exactly as we like them. Next season we are planning on more varieties of veges, fruit and herbs.Eventually, once we are confident we have reasonably green thumbs we hope to get involved with our neighbourhood's community gardening efforts. If you'd like to find out about community gardens which are gaining popularity in NZ, I've written a guest post on Pattu's blog.
You might well ask what our composting, vege-growing and community efforts have to do with the title. That is Ron Finley's story. He's a great ambassador for community gardening and its benefits. He also has practical advice on making each community garden viable, long term and sustainable. And yes, someone did slap a case on him for growing veges.
Here's the link to his story in his own entertaining, humorous and
inimitable style - TedX talk by Ron Finley.
