S. Evan Townsend's Blog, page 104

Flash Fiction Friday: "The Boss from Hell" or "Killer Employee Evaluation"

"Why do we have to have these meetings at night?" Owens asked as the elevator ascended to the executive level.

"The boss," Larson replied. "He's allergic to the sun. Be grateful it's getting winter. We can have these meetings at five in the afternoon rather than nine at night."
"So I'm expected to work my standard twelve-hour day, then if the boss wants to see us, we have to stay later?" Owens sounded unhappy. He was unhappy.
"That's why they pay us the big bucks," Larson said with a smile.
"And what kind of screwy meeting is this?" Owens asked. "No agenda, no preparation, just a cryptic email: 'Come to my office at 8:00 P.M.'"
"Yeah," Larson said, "The boss sometimes likes to get you unprepared, see how well you think on your feet."
Owens shook his head.  "I don't like it. Why does the board put up with this stuff?"
"Because he's doubled the stock price in six months," Larson said. "He's turned this company around. Hell, pretty soon we'll be knocking on Apple's door."
Owens scoffed. "I doubt that."
"You just watch," Larson said.
The elevator stopped and the doors slide aside silently. Owens took in a breath. The executive level was much nicer than the lower floors, with thicker carpet, dark wood paneling, and what looked to be original art work in decorative frames. Sure beet the motivational posters on painted-white drywall where he worked.
"This way," Larson said, indicating they should to left. There were double glass doors and a large antechamber with chairs and couches. It was empty this time of night. Larson led Owens through the massive wooden door into the CEO's office. Again, Owens was impressed. The room looked larger than his apartment.
"Come in," the boss said from behind an imposing oak desk.
The two men approached.
"You asked to see Daniel Owens, sir?" Larson said.
"Yes, yes.  Thank you, Larson, you may go now."
Owens thought Larson looked too relieved. He wondered what this was all about.
When Larson had left and the door was closed, the boss stood.  He was very tall but thin.  He smiled. "Mr. Owens, I've been looking at your last employee evaluation."
"Yes?" Owens asked. Surely they CEO wasn't going to fire him. That would be handled by someone a bit more junior.
"It seems you are not much of an asset to this corporation," the CEO continued.
Jeez, Owens thought, maybe he was going to get fired.
"Well, sir," Owens started, "I am working hard and I have goals that I am supposed to meet before my next evaluation.
"Yes, yes," the CEO said, holding up a hand to silence him.  "But we both know you're not going to make it.  You're not going to achieve your goals.  You're a poor executive and one thing this corporation can not tolerate is mediocrity at any level."
Owens realized he was about to be fired. But why was the CEO doing it.  As he thought this, the boss walked around his desk and put his hand on Owens' shoulder.
"Now, this won't hurt . . . much," the CEO said.
Owens frowned, "What won't-"
The CEO sank his fangs into Owens' neck, and sucked the man's blood.
Drain, the corpse collapsed to the carpet.
Larson walked back in.
"I assume you want the body disposed of in the usual manner?" he asked.
"Yes," the CEO said, licking his lips and sitting behind his desk. There were chemicals that could render a body a black sludge which could easily be poured down the drain.
"Yes, sir," Larson said.  Yes, Larson did get paid the big bucks. The board hired him to protect the CEO. And see to his needs.

It Could Have Been Worse . . . It Could Have Been Better

Last Saturday's college football game between the University of Washington Huskies and the Stanford Cardinal (it's a color) could have been worse. Stanford, ranked #16 at the time, came into the game with the best defense in the FBS. The Huskies had a defense that had not distinguished itself in the first four games of the season (despite the Huskies managing to win all four). I was worried that Stanford would have no trouble scoring and the Huskies would not be able to move the ball against the Cardinal defense.

But it actually turned out better than expected. The Husky defense held Stanford to 20 points. Of four trips to the red zone, the Huskies held Stanford to two field goals, one touch down, and force a fumble. Without the Husky defense stepping up, Stanford could have easily scored a lot more points.

And, yes, the Huskies managed to score 13 points against Stanford's supposed brick-wall defense. But it could have been more. Coach Chris Petersen repeatedly took gambles including trick plays, faked punts, and one time had great field position after a kickoff and (and I'm not quite sure how this worked) asked for another kickoff in the hopes of getting great a run-back. We didn't.

As I tweeted during the game, gambling only works if it pays off. And it didn't.

So while it could have been worse, it could have been much better. But the positives are that the defense showed up for this game, and we did manage to move the ball against Stanford. Now if Coach Petersen would be a bit more cautious, we might win more games.

Next week we have a bye. The week after (October 11th) we play Cal in Berkeley. Then we hit the meat grinder of #2 Oregon in Eugene and Arizona State at home. Arizona State was looking good this year (they were ranked until they lost to #8 UCLA 64-27). Later we play UCLA at home.

We're two wins from being bowl eligible. We should manage to squeak out two wins in the eight games left (we'd better beat WSU!). But we play a lot of very good teams in the interim. It's going to be tough.

Meet the Character Blog Hop

I was nominated by Frances Pauli to do the "Meet the Character" blog hop. You should "hop" on over to her webpage and check out her great books. Click "Blog" to meet her character.

Today we're going to meet Peter Branton from Gods of Strife , the fourth novel in the Adept Series.
1.What is the name of your character?
Peter Branton. Well, that's his alias. He never reveals his real name because to do so would give others power over him.
2. Is he/she fictional or a historic person?
He's fictional, 100% a creation of my mind.
3. When and where is the story set?
The story is set in 1976. A lot of the action takes place in San Francisco but it also goes to New Orleans, Tehran, Quito, and Johannesburg, South Africa.
4. What should we know about him/her?
Peter isn't as confident as he'd like you to believe. He has strong powers but he hesitates to use them unless needed. His horrific childhood has left him scarred and unsure of his place in the universe.
5. What is the main conflict? What messes up his/her life?
Someone is trying to kill him and his boss. That someone is a very beautiful blonde woman. In pursuit of her, he finds it's part of a larger plot to foster a nuclear war, a war he must stop.
6. What is the personal goal of the character?
Other than stopping nuclear war, and staying alive, he wants desperately to be loved.
7. Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it?
As mentioned above: Gods of Strife .
8. When can we expect the book to be published or when was it published?
It was published May 15, 2014
Hope you enjoyed this little journey into my character's mind.
And now I nominate Joann H. Buchanan, Alexandrea Weis, and Trish McCallan.

Yes, Beta Readers are Important

So, you've written the great American novel. You've pounded out that first draft, you edited (and edited and edited). You might even have paid for a professional edit or proofread. So, now you think it's ready to send to a publisher (or to indie publish).

Now hold on a minute there, pardner. You're not quite ready yet. You need "beta readers."

Like "beta testing" software (having users try it out before releasing it to see if there's major problems with it), beta readers read your novel before you publish it.  While they can be an extra set of eyes for typos for proofreading, their primary function is to make the writing better.

Beta readers can point out inconsistencies in plot or characterization. "I really don't think a nun would become a streetwalker to raise money for Mother Superior's operation."

Beta readers will show you were you've used clumsy prose or, as often in my case, passive voice. Beta readers will make your work better.

Beta readers will have different knowledge and experience than you. They may know that a ".45 automatic" isn't necessarily a M1911, for example.

And the best part is, you get to decide what advice to take and what to keep.

It's always good to have more eyes on your novel before publication. They will see things you won't because you're too close to it. Maybe you'll have to beef up a plot point that they didn't understand. Or maybe they'll think you're being redundant. Or maybe they'll smack you for poor apostrophe usage. You never know and you should get as many beta readers as you can.

How do you find beta readers. Your writers' group is a great source. Or social media such as Facebook and Twitter (I found one beta reader on Twitter just by tweeting that I needed beta readers).

Before you publish or submit that masterwork of writing, have someone else look at it. You'll be amazed how useful beta readers are.

Huskies are 4-0!

Now this is normally the time I would be giving a detailed, incisive discussion on yesterday's University of Washington Husky football game.

Only problem is: I didn't see it. I as at a family gathering. So I DVR'd it to watch today with the plan to studiously avoid hearing anything about the game. But then my Husky-hating cousin had to point out that Georgia State, a three-year-old football program whose single victory this year was against Abilene Christian, was leading 7-0 in the first quarter, and then leading 14-0 at halftime.

(My cousin doesn't like the Huskies and really doesn't like the Huskies since they picked up Chris Petersen as head coach. Petersen coached Boise State and, as an University of Idaho alum and fan, he hates Boise State.)

I was worried the Huskies had gone in over-confident and were blowing it as they nearly did against Hawaii. But I thought Husky head coach Chris Petersen would light a fire under the Huskies at half time and they would come out and win the game.  And that's apparently what happened because Georgia State never scored in the second half while the Huskies ran up 45 points to win 14-45. This has given UW a 4-0 start and only two games away from being bowl eligible. A pretty good begining for the new head coach.

Next week we play Stanford at home. The Cardinal (yes, the team's mascot is a color) was, last week, #16 (this week's poll is not out, yet) and has a 2-1 record, their only loss being to USC. They are also coming off a bye week, not playing this week (well, apparently the Huskies only played half a game this week). We'll have home-field advantage but Stanford is tough. The Huskies will have to be damn near perfect to win this game. The Huskies have a history (at least in the century) of winning games where they are considered the underdog (e.g., the win over USC in 2009). So maybe we can pull the upset again.


On a side note, as much as my cousin hates Boise State, I hate Washington State (the Cougars). But I have to commend the Cougs, for last night in Pullman they played the #2 team in the nation, the Oregon Ducks, and they lost. But it wasn't the blow-out everyone expected. The final score 38-31 Oregon. Be interesting to see if this affects their #2 ranking in the polls. Oregon is still undefeated but Wazzu came within 7 points of a tie game. And I do hate Oregon, too, so I was kind of hoping they could both lose.

When the polls come out I'll update!

UPDATE: And apparently Oregon's performance against the Cougars didn't hurt them: they are still #2 in the AP FBS poll. Stanford is still #16.

UPDATE #2: UW started at #25 in the preseason poll. After their difficult win over Hawaii, they dropped out of the poll never to be seen again (Hawaii is, so far, 1-3 this season, was 1-11 last season). A win over Stanford might get us ranked again. A decent showing might even do the trick. We'll have to see what happens next week. Only problem is, I have a Toastmaster speech contest I'm competing in that morning and while I'm DVR'ing the game, will probably not be able to watch all of it (if any) live.

The Math

I currently have two works in progress (WIPs). One is a western/fantasy mashup that is in beta reads (oh, the commas!). The other is a science fiction novel that I've just finished the first draft on and am waiting to start edits.

In the science fiction novel, my heroes (sort of anti-heroes) are space pirates and they have 10,000 kg of gold that they've extorted from two different planets.

This sounds like a lot of gold, but because gold is so dense, I calculated that it would easily fit in a one-cubic-meter of space. I've quadruple-checked that math so I'm pretty sure I'm correct.

So, as I'm waiting to do edits, I think about the novel. And I started thinking that the pirate ship has a maximum acceleration of 5 gees. So everything on board would weight 5 times more (a 200 pound man would weigh 1,000 pounds). And would the gold, which is very soft, at the bottom of that cubic meter deform under the nearly 50,000 kg of weight (the bottom layer of gold not included) it would sustain at 5 gees?

So I went to the internet. Gold has a yield stress of 205 MPa or "megapascals" or 205 million pascals. A pascal a unit of pressure like "pounds per square inch" and is defined as one newton per square meter.

The bottom layer of gold would have a surface area of one square meter so it would take 205,000,000 newtons to deform that layer of gold (I have said the gold is in 1-kilogram bars which would be about the size of two of your fingers put together and am approximating it as one solid layer for ease of math).

To convert newtons to weight you need the formula F=ma (Newton's Second Law) so algebraically (see, I use algebra after high school), m=F/a, where "m" is mass in kilograms, "F" is force in newtons, and "a" is the acceleration. So mass equals newtons divided by acceleration. The question is, how much mass would you need to deform bottom layer of gold at 5 gees. So its m=205,000,000/5, right? Wrong! Because newtons is a kgs unit (that's kilogram, meters, seconds) and mass in in kilograms so I need to convert gees to a kgs unit. One gee is 9.80665 meters per second squared (or some say meters per second per second). That means at one gee you accelerate 9.80665 meters per second for every second you accelerate. Are you lost? Don't worry about it.

So five gees is 5 x 9.80665 = 49.03325 meters per second squared.

So the mass needed to deform gold at 5 gees is: 205,000,000/49.03325 = 4.18 million kilograms (in round terms). Or about 83 times the mass there is on top of the bottom layer of gold.

I am slightly worried that using a square meter of gold rather than numerous small gold bars is throwing off my math too much. But I have trouble believing it is different by a factor of 83. Because a gold bar only a few centimeters in surface area is going to have a correspondingly less amount of mass over it.

A Decisive Win

Last week I said of this week's University of Washington Huskies game against Illinois that "it's going to be an ugly game if the defense is as bad has they have been the last two games." In both of the first two games of the season, the Husky defense was awful. They managed to squeak out wins about Hawaii (a team that went 1-11 last season) and Eastern Washington (a Division II team, albeit, ranked #2 in the FCS). Illinois was prior to yesterday's game 2-0 (although that was against two FCS teams, apparently). While Illinois is a Division I, FBS team, they were only 4-8 last year.  Still, I was worried, if the Husky defense was as bad as it had been, the Huskies could have lost easily.

Turns out I needn't worry. Not only was the Husky defense in the game they made two big plays, scoring touchdowns on an interception and a fumble. They did make some mistakes giving Illinois some opportunities, but the Fighting Illini couldn't capitalize on them. In the end they were held to 19 points while the Huskies put 44 on the scoreboard.

Our quarterback, Cyler Miles, is looking good but I wish when he runs with the ball he'd tuck it in better. The Huskies' first turnover of the season came on a Miles run that ended with a fumble. The offense is getting better and better with each game and yesterday was only Miles' third college start (he started once last season and was suspended for the Hawaii game). The defense still needs more work before we go into play against the meat grinder that is the PAC-12. Allowing Oregon 19 points could lose you the game.

But, as I went into this match nervous, I found my fears were somewhat allayed by the performance of the defense. And they should only improve. Next week we play Georgia State and I'm not worried at all about that game. But the week after is Stanford, currently ranked #16 in FBS. We do play them in Husky Stadium so that will help (and the place should be packed for a PAC-12 game).

So far I'm liking our new head coach Chris Petersen who has gone 3-0 to start his career at U-Dub. I hope he is as successful with the Huskies as he was with Boise State.

Flash Fiction Friday: Guest of Honor

Today's Flash Fiction Friday is: Guest of Honor.

"You seen the Twilight Zone, right?" the man, who said his name was Darby, had both hands cradling his beer as he sat at the bar.

"Yeah," Jones replied, "I've seen some of them. Reruns, you know." He was nursing his seven and seven because be ethanol had deleterious effects upon his body chemistry.

"You seen the one where the aliens come down with a book called 'To Serve Man'?"

Jones shrugged. He looked at the clock behind the bar. He'd been there nearly an hour and he had to meet someone. That and this Darby was boring company. "Maybe. That's where the book turns out to be a cook book?"

Darby nodded. "Yeah, that one."

"And The Simpsons did a parody of it for one of their Halloween episodes," Jones added.

"I guess," Darby said. "But, it's true, you know."

"What's true?" Jones took a sip of his drink, thinking this would be his last.

"Aliens, man. They're eatin' people."

Jones scoffed.

"No, man, they are," Darby insisted. "Do you know how many people go missing each year from the U.S. alone?"

"No idea," Jones said, barely engaging in this conversation.

"Nine-hundred thousand. That's almost a million."

Jones turned to look at Darby. "Seriously?"

"Yes. And the aliens are eating them."

"Some have to be murders or people who just purposely disappear."

Darby scoffed this time. "Yeah, but 900,000 of them?"

"Well, I find it hard to believe aliens are eating the rest."

"Yeah, you'll see," Darby said.

"Right," Jones replied, deciding the sooner he left the better it would be. This has been a mistake now he was running late.  He swallowed down the rest of his drink, feeling the whiskey burn, not quite quenched by the Seven Up.

"Good night, Mr. Darby," Jones said.

"You don't believe me," Darby said as an accusation.

Jones smiled. "No, sorry."  And he slipped off the bar stool and walked out the door before Darby could reply.

Jones wasn't worried about driving, he'd only had one drink.  He got in his old Ford Taurus with the oxidized and speckled paint, and started driving.  He had to make his appointment and now he was running late. The shortest route took him through some woods where houses were far apart. It was pitch black out as there was no moon and there were no street lights on this road. He drove for nearly two hours until he reached the designated spot. He turned off the car's engine and waited, glancing at his cheap watch. He'd just barely made it.

Without warning a bright, actinic light hit his car from above. It temporarily blinded him, it was so harsh. Holding on to the steering wheel with one hand, he tried to shade his eyes with the other.

But suddenly he was not in his car. The light was gone to be replaced with a soft green glow. Before him were two beings that he immediately identified as not human nor even from the Earth. They looked like every cliched portrayal of aliens with the big black eyes and small mouths.

"Welcome, Mr. Jones," one said, its mouth moving as it spoke.

"Thank you," he replied. "Did you make the pick up?"

"Just as you ordered, Mr. Jones," the second alien said. "The guest of honor is here."

Jones smiled. He heard movement behind him and turned. A portal had opened. He took a step toward it, his stomach already growling with anticipation. Slowly he let his form return to normal, and now he had big black eyes and a small mouth.  The mouth bent in a smile as he entered the room.

On a long table surrounded by many chairs was a human body: a trussed, dressed, and roasted Mr. Darby, the look of surprise on his face still present.

The Internet is Impossible

The internet is impossible.

Today I went to a website that required a log in and a password.  I hadn't been there for a while so I hadn't needed to log in and I was nervous about remembering the password.

The log in was my email, so no problem there. But I had indeed forgotten the password. So I had to go through the "Forgot your password?" routine, have them email me a link, and change my password.

The internet is impossible!

You’re supposed to have a different one for every website/application you deal with.   That’s probably at least 10 (email, Facebook, Amazon.com, etc.) and probably more.

You’re supposed to use passwords that are at least 8 characters long, with numbers, caps, and special characters and no common words.

You’re supposed to change passwords every 30 days and never repeat a password.

And you’re not supposed to ever write a password down.

This is humanly impossible.

Good Enough Isn't

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I saw a graphic on Twitter that had a picture of a woman exercising and said "Strive for progress, not perfection." And I thought that was good advice for pretty much everything (especially since I am, once again, trying to lose weight), including writing. If you strive for perfection in your writing, you will have the mother of all writer's block episodes.
However, I'd like to add a caveat. When I worked in the corporate world (shudder) I worked in quality. And we had a saying; "Good enough isn't." You don't do a thing "good enough" because that isn't good enough. You do things as perfectly as you possibly can.

Now, no human system or built/designed thing is ever going to be perfect. But you should make what you produce (including your writing) as perfect as you can.
Now you might think I'm contradicting myself saying "Strive for progress, not perfection" and "Make things as perfect as you can." But stick with me.
I also say "Just keep writing" and have said it so much a friend made a graphic of it for me. Britta Kaye(A friend I used to babysit when she was an infant. She liked my beard and when I had to shave it off for a job, she would no long let me hold her.)
And I've said, "Your first draft will suck, get over it and write the damn thing."
But, it is all part of a process. You write your first draft, not trying to make it perfect, but you just keep writing. Then you edit. I edit a lot (but I make a lot of typos/spelling errors even with computers). Now you are striving not for perfection, but progress. Make it better and better and better than it was. Now is when you worry about perfection, now is when you improve it until it is as perfect as you can make it. You should never, ever say, "that's good enough."

And believe me, there's few feelings worse than opening a novel you wrote that is now published and finding something you know you could have written better.
Then when you write your next book, you try to make it better than the last book. 
It's a process of striving for progress, while trying to make it as perfect as possible. And you can only do that if you just keep writing.