Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2095

ALIEN: COVENANT Prologue Gives PROMETHEUS Some Closure

Aside from the general “Oooh, Ridley Scott‘s doing another Alien movie!” reaction after we first heard about Alien: Covenant, our next was a lot of speculation about how this movie would tie-in to the previous movie, Prometheus, since that one pretty much ended on the mother of all cliffhangers–with Dr. Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace) and the android head of David (Michael Fassbender) flying in an Engineer’s ship, back to the Engineers’ homeworld, ready to find out where humans came from. The Covenant trailers didn’t make anything clear, however, and looked disconnected, but a new prologue has given us two minutes of “Ohhhhhhh!”

Holy cats, SO MUCH happens in this 120 seconds–titled The Crossing–that we’re surprised this isn’t the whole movie. David narrates how Dr. Shaw, bestowing on him a kindness he never got from the rather evil Weyland, reattached his head to his body as the ship made its way to wherever the Engineers are from. (Paradise or whatever, right?) David conveniently downplays how it was pretty much his fault that all the bad crap happened to the crew of the Prometheus in the first place, but he later puts Shaw into suspended animation again and we see gorgeous shots of the ring ship arriving on the planet and reconnecting with the larger ring ship, and boy howdy does it seems like Alien: Covenant might give us more answers than we thought.

I have to admit, I was pretty disinterested in Covenant, but if there’s any kind of connective tissue with the (deeply flawed by enjoyable) Prometheus, that and the visuals might be enough to get me jazzed again. We didn’t know if Rapace would even be in the movie, but she surely wouldn’t have come out to film a two-minute thing that isn’t even in the movie, right? And, hey, we got Danny McBride and proper Xenomorphs to look forward to, so what else could we really need?

Let me know your thoughts on Alien: Covenant‘s relationship to Prometheus in the comments below!

Images: Twentieth Century Fox

Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor for Nerdist and the host of the horror documentary series One Good Scare. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Twitter!

Wanna be the Neomorph?

Pizza Cooks Really Fast in a 1600-Degree Forge Oven, It Turns Out

Making a decent pizza from scratch really isn’t that hard: Get your dough, put pizza stuff on it, and cook until it the crust becomes golden. Yet, there’s one thing most of us don’t have in our homes that’s necessary to make a really fine pizza: heat. Our ovens kick out enough degrees to burn our faces off, sure, but real pizza ovens are generally set at somewhere between 500 and 600 degrees Fahrenheit, which your home appliances probably can’t achieve.

So if heat is what gets the job done, what happens when you try cooking a pizza in a forge that’s capable of melting metal at 1600 degrees? The folks from YouTube channel Essential Craftsman tried it out, and as you’d image, it cooks a pizza pretty darn fast (via Tastefully Offensive).

Although the forge got up to around 1600 degrees, he let it cool down to around 800 before sliding the pizza into it, but that was still plenty hot. They checked the pie after a minute and it was nearly ready, but not quite, so they slid it in for a bit longer, and after a minute and 35 seconds, a taste test confirmed that it was totally ready to eat.

A forge like this one is probably best suited for other purposes, and perhaps it isn’t the most efficient way to prepare a pizza, but it’s definitely one of the most fun ways to get the job done. Have you ever come across any other creative ways to cook a pizza that actually work? Get at us on Twitter and share your thoughts.

Featured image: Essential Craftsman/YouTube

How THE HANDMAID’S TALE is a Story of Quiet Defiance

The below contains spoilers for the first three episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale , which are now available to view in their entirety courtesy of Hulu. If you haven’t watched all three episodes yet, come back when you’ve caught up.

“My name is Offred, and I intend to survive.” These words, internalized by the protagonist of The Handmaid’s Tale, may seem like a simple declaration on the surface, but what they represent is far more important than any straightforward vow. They’re a testament to the significance of resistance in the face of overwhelming odds, and to the power that’s derived from retaining control over one’s mind, even when every other part of your being doesn’t belong to you.

For Offred (Elisabeth Moss), her mind’s ability to endure the horrors of her current situation is what contributes to the most compelling storytelling within the show’s first three episodes. Much of her inner monologue is conducted via voiceover, perhaps a natural extension of adapting The Handmaid’s Tale to series, since the book is told from first-person perspective. However, Offred’s voiceovers aren’t just a means of exposition; they’re a direct line to her resilience. She may be a paragon of virtue and good manners in her verbal interactions with characters like Serena Joy (Yvonne Strahovski) or Aunt Lydia (Ann Dowd), but inside the privacy of her thoughts, Offred doesn’t hold back about even her most tenacious opponents.

In a rigidly structured society like Gilead, Offred’s very existence as a Handmaid is a contradiction; as a woman who has the ability to bear children she is set apart from others who cannot, but her value is limited to her fertility. As far as the world is concerned, her body–her womb– is not her own, and if she cannot conceive a child then she will be put to use on other tasks, like going grocery shopping.

The Handmaid’s central paradox is exalting certain women for their potency while subjugating all of them in almost every way possible. Women are forbidden to have an occupation, handle money, or read. Even speaking up in defense of yourself is prohibited. When Ofglen (Alexis Bledel) is arrested for pursuing a romantic relationship with another woman, she is gagged while the charges against her are read, rendering her unable to utter a mere syllable in her own defense. Ultimately Ofglen’s life is spared because she still has the ability to bear children, but the woman she loves is sentenced to death. Blessed be the fruit.

The timely echoes of The Handmaid’s Tale reverberate through the present; there’s a reason so many of the images from the trailers and these three released episodes have struck a chord that continues to resound. We’re not living in Gilead, but it’s not unimaginable to consider our uncertain future and how we might find ourselves in a similar dystopia. Women’s bodies are already the subject of frequent discussion, debate, criticism and legislation. Is it really so impossible to imagine now?

Many critics have already dubbed this series mandatory viewing for television audiences, but several of the people behind the show have warned viewers not to binge-watch. It’s true that a series like The Handmaid’s Tale deserves thoughtful contemplation and unrushed absorption, but that is not because the show leaves the viewer feeling hopeless. Offred’s thoughts are her own. Gilead, the government, the Waterfords may have control over her body, but they do not control her mind, and in her mind, she is free and will continue to defy in every way she knows. “My name is June,” she thinks to herself, reaffirming her true identity and reassuring us, by extension, that she has not given up the fight to belong to herself again.

Images: Hulu

Macaulay Culkin Plays Kurt Cobain in Father John Misty’s New Music Video

Father John Misty has never been one to take a backseat when it comes to sharing his views about the media, humanity, and other existential concerns in the age of unceasing information and constant entertainment. Those are points he addressed in “Total Entertainment Forever,” from his new album Pure Comedy, and now the song has an accompanying video that sure does have a lot going on (via Stereogum).

Explaining this clip might work best as a list, so here are a few stray things we noticed about the video:

George Washington takes a Viagra before putting on virtual reality goggles
Macaulay Culkin portrays Kurt Cobain as a Jesus-like figure, complete with a crucifixion inside a knockoff McDonald’s
A papier-mâché Ronald McDonald bursts out of Misty’s chest/crotch and shoots a laser gun at somebody who looks like the Wendy’s mascot
Garfield’s Jon Arbuckle and a saxophone-playing Bill Clinton are there too

So what actually happens in this video, though? We’re not sure if it’s nothing, or if it’s everything. That’s the kind of broad-yet-nuanced observations Misty strives to make with his art, and his asking of the big questions leaves it to us to keep on asking.

He’s an enigmatic guy, which is why his work is generally so thought-provoking. What do you think the message is behind this video? Or it it just vacuous imagery? And maybe that’s a message in itself? Give us a shout on Twitter, and let us know what’s on your mind.

Featured image: Father John Misty, Sub Pop

What Can We Expect From the SPLIT and UNBREAKABLE Sequel?

In a twist worthy of his earliest films, M. Night Shyamalan‘s Split was not only the director’s best movie in years, it was also a stealth sequel to Unbreakable, a low key superhero movie that predates most of the modern blockbusters. After 17 years, Unbreakable is finally going to get a full fledged sequel, and today’s Nerdist News is going to tell you what that means for David Dunn, Kevin Wendell Crumb, and of course, the man they call “Mr. Glass.”

Join host, and the first heroine to defeat the Horde, Jessica Chobot, as she breaks down Shyamalan’s next movie, Glass. As the name of the movie implies, Samuel L. Jackson‘s physically frail and diabolically crazy villain, Elijah Price, will step into the spotlight. It’s what we’ve always wanted to see since Bruce Willis‘ David Dunn led the authorities back to his one-time friend at the end of Unbreakable.

Shyamalan wrote on Twitter that “my new film is the sequel to Unbreakable and Split. It was always my dream to have both world collide in this third film. But what really has us intrigued is this tweet that Shyamalan shared a few weeks ago: “Writing the climax of the new film. Had to step away. Heart pounding. Too scared!”

Assuming that Shyamalan was talking about Glass, it could be a sign that he’s fusing together the horror and superhero elements from the first two movies in this unexpected trilogy. That’s an unusual blend for a comic book movie, and the success of Split may allow Shyamalan to push the line even further than before. The real question now is what role will James McAvoy‘s Horde play in the inevitable final clash between David Dunn and Elijah Price? Are we looking at a supervillain team up? Or will all three men go to war with each other?

Are you excited about the new Shyamalan sequel? Let’s discuss in the comment section below!

Nerdist Podcast: Dave Gahan

Dave Gahan (Depeche Mode) talks to Chris and April Richardson about doing early morning radio, when he knew he wanted to be a musician and growing up in England. He also talks about meeting his father for the first time, bands he was in before Depeche Mode and Depeche Mode’s upcoming tour!

Image: Vittorio Zunino Celotto / Getty

The Pupa Stage of a Hercules Beetle is the Stuff of Nightmares

Fair warning: Last chance to save yourself from what you’re about to see.

The male Hercules beetle (Dynastes hercules) in its adult form is pretty rad looking with his characteristic horn. (No, this is not the horrifying part. That comes next.)

While that fine-looking gent didn’t turn out so bad, what he looks like while he’s en route to maturity is a whole different story. A horror story, to be specific. The Hercules beetle’s chrysalis looks like some sort of prop from an alien movie…

(Are you SURE you’re ready for this? We don’t need to do this. Really. It’s OK… Alright. fine.)

Here it is, a thing of nightmares:

That video, by insect enthusiast Hirofumi Kawano, was posted via a tweet that you’re bound to see again at the rate it’s being re-shared. It shows the wriggling nightmare-inducing pupa stage of the Hercules beetle. The video is accompanied with the caption, “A lot of people think that a chrysalis does not move,” as if to suggest people grill this person on a constant basis about the ambulatory tendencies of transforming insects.

Even if the video creeps you out, it’s hard to deny how captivating it is to watch and makes us wonder what sort of evolutionary benefits a moving chrysalis has. We imagine it’s got something to do with being able to flip itself over, dig itself into soil, or slowly evade predators whilst trapped in it’s armored sleeping bag.

Any guess to why this happens? Where my entomologists at?! Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Featured image: Disney/Pixar

Image: Dynastes hercules ecuatorianus | Didier Descouens

7 WTF-worthy movie monsters that time forgot

Watch This Horrifying Video of a Prop Baby Being Inflated

Ready for a nightmare? Because boy oh boy, has the Internet found one for you. Our latest bit of unknowable hell is a video of a rubber baby movie prosthetic (try to say that three times fast) being slowly inflated with an air hose. I’m sure that sounds hilarious if you’ve grown up on a lot of Looney Tunes cartoons and think blowing somebody up like a ballon is a fun goof, but it’s actually pretty horrifying to look at:

How to turn a baby into Kim Jong-un!

A post shared by Kevin Yagher (@yagherfx) on Apr 14, 2017 at 12:39pm PDT

While this video was first discovered and blown up (get it?) by the good people of the r/whoahdude subreddit, it was uploaded by special effects designer Kevin Yagher, who’s best known for creating the Freddy Krueger make-up that appeared in Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge, Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, and Nightmare On Elm Street: The Dream Master. He also designed Chucky for the Child’s Play movies, which is where he met his wife, actress Catherine Hicks. Aw, who says horror movies can’t be romantic?

His Instagram is brand new, but it’s already got lots of cool behind-the-scenes makeup and technical effects from his work on Bones, Windtalkers, Starship Troopers, Tim Burton’s Sleepy Hollow, and this excellent animatronic from Cradle 2 the Grave (spoilers, in case you’ve never seen that movie and don’t want to know how this character looks when he dies):

Found another inflating head! Vintage test footage of our animatronic Mark Dacascos puppet head for Cradle 2 the Grave #markdacascos #cradle2thegrave #cradletothegrave #explodinghead

A post shared by Kevin Yagher (@yagherfx) on Apr 17, 2017 at 4:13pm PDT

Funnily enough, Yagher also created the effects for Baby Adam in Honey, I Blew Up the Kid!, the sequel to Honey, I Shrunk the Kids! that ends with a giant toddler terrorizing the streets of Las Vegas. That’s not where his inflating baby prosthetic is from, though. Could you imagine how much seeing that as kids would have traumatized us?

Image: Kevin Yagher/Instagram

Could Kirby inhale a human?

VALERIAN Funko POP! Figures Are Space-Age Slick

You can always count on certain collectible merchandise to be released with every big pop culture film, and none are as beloved (or as everywhere) as the oh-so-cute vinyl Pop! figures by Funko. With the upcoming July release of the highly anticipated Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets on the horizon, Funko did not disappoint and are planning to release six new figures for the film.

What we’re excited for is the nearly endless possibilities Funko has for this film and (hopefully) the eventual franchise. Judging by the trailer, the film is so jam packed with different alien species that we can’t even imagine how tough the meetings at Funko were to determine which characters to create first. Of course, there are some obligatory ones needed like the protagonists, Valerian and Laureline.

And what MIGHT be the villain of the film, Igon Siruss.

The gallery below has the other Valerian Pops (including Clive Owen’s Arün Filitt) but what we find interesting is Funko’s ability to do so much more with their designs. We’ve come to expect the standard default human head on most figures, but the company has done a lot to branch out in recent years. The figure for Doghan Daguis, for instance, shows that Funko is continuing to sculpt different features in their figures, which is great news for a film like Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets and its seemingly endless array of alien life.

It gives us hope that we’ll see more figures from this universe and can recreate the film and graphic novels in all their glory in the comfort of our Pop!-filled homes. Check out the rest of the set in the gallery below.

What Valerian characters do you hope to see Funko-fied? How about the ones you want to see in the film? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Images: Funko

We broke down that sweet Valerian trailer right here!

Jeff Goldblum Returns For JURASSIC WORLD Sequel

“If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us, it’s that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, uh…well, there it is. I’m simply saying that life, uh…finds a way.”

Those wise words of one Dr. Ian Malcolm still ring true today, as it was just announced that Jeff Goldblum has joined the cast for the Jurassic World sequel.

Exclusive: Jeff Goldblum joins '#JurassicWorld' sequel https://t.co/XMjSthjOXa pic.twitter.com/4EFl74CQaP

— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) April 26, 2017

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Goldblum is set to reprise his role as Dr. Malcolm in the forthcoming Jurassic World sequel, joining stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard. This will make it his third appearance in the JPU (Can we call it that? Is that a thing yet?) after appearing in 1993’s Jurassic Park and 1997’s The Lost World: Jurassic Park. No word on how large Goldblum’s Malcolm will factor into the next film, but we can imagine he’s probably even more fed up with being right about the dino-mayhem that seems to plague the world despite his best efforts.

We’ve got our fingers crossed that the filmmakers will finally listen to the fan fiction we keep sending in where he and B.D. Wong’s Dr. Henry Wu battle to the death on yet another island where Wu’s made Human/Dino Hybrids. We call it “The Island of Dr. Dineau.”

If not, we’ll settle for this to somehow happen:

Image: Giphy

Kidding aside, we absolutely can’t wait for plot details to trickle out, and we really hope Goldblum’s involvement is more than a mere cameo. The world needs more Ian Malcolm in it and having him and Pratt’s Owen Grady onscreen as much as possible feels like the best move any film could ever make.

What do you hope for the Jurassic World sequel? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Featured Image: Universal Pictures

7 WTF-worthy movie monsters that time forgot