Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 2073

GAME OF THRONES Re-Throned: “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken” (S5, E6)

Winter is coming, but not soon enough. So to help pass the time until season seven of Game of Thrones, we’re doing a weekly re-watch of the series, episode-by-episode, with the knowledge of what’s to come and—therefore—more information about the unrevealed rich history of events that took place long before the story began. Be warned, though: that means this series is full of spoilers for every season, even beyond the episode itself. So if you haven’t watched all of the show yet immediately get on that and then come back and join us for Game of Thrones Re-Throned.

Because the next best thing to watching new episodes is re-watching old ones.

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Season 5, Episode 6: “Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken”

Original Air Date: May 17th, 2015

Director: Jeremy Podeswa

Written by: Bryan Cogman

I have always considered season five of Game of Thrones to be the show’s weakest, so going into this re-watch I wanted to see if I had been too hard on it, and through the first five episodes the answer was yes, it was much better than I originally gave it credit for. The Sand Snakes introduction was still awful, and Jaime and Bronn‘s covert trip to Dorne to take back Myrcella was as asinine as ever, but those were small elements in an otherwise compelling year. Season five has been far superior to how I remembered it.

Until this episode, where two truly awful scenes reminded me why I have always ranked it at the bottom.

The first terrible scene is a far more forgivable transgression than the second, because it stands out as a rare example of illogical writing on the show, with the totally absurd story of Jaime and Bronn sneaking into Dorne clashing (literally) with the underdeveloped and wholly uninteresting Sand Snakes (show version only!).

Jaime and Bronn sneak into the Water Gardens of House Martell via the old trick of dressing like Dornish soldiers, because that would definitely work if Prince Doran were a cartoon. They try to grab Jaime’s “niece” Myrcella and then—and this is honestly their plan—just sort of figure out an escape. She doesn’t want to leave her betrothed, Trystane Martell, but it doesn’t matter because the three Sand Snakes show up to stop them and kidnap Myrcella themselves. The five fight, until Dornish soldiers arrive—far later than they should have—and mercifully put an end to all of it.

None of it makes sense and it’s all ridiculous. Everyone is acting stupid, and the normal authenticity behind characters’ motivations, the ones that make a show with dragons and magic feel real, disappears in a burst of foolishness. From the time Oberyn—one of the greatest, most dynamic characters in the show’s history—was killed by The Mountain, everything related to Dorne has felt pointless and boring, and this scene is the nadir of all of it.

There’s still time from a storytelling perspective for the Dornish plot line to be redeemed now that they have thrown in with the Mother of Dragons, but you wouldn’t know it from this episode.

However, that’s not even the worst scene in the episode. That ignominious title goes to the final scene, when Ramsay rapes Sansa on their wedding night while making Theon watch, a decision from the show that is much harder to forgive than characters acting dumb.

It is in contention for the worst scene in the show’s history, up against another uncomfortable rape scene that also felt gratuitous and did not service the story, Jaime and Cersei’s “sex/rape” next to Joffrey’s body.

I remember thinking throughout season five, there was no way the show would actually marry Sansa off to Ramsay, even though she had been given a different character’s arc from the books (Jeyne Poole), and that character did marry Ramsay and he brutalized her in unimaginable ways. I figured Sansa had already been through enough horrors to get her character to the point she needed for her next development, and it would be unnecessarily cruel to add physical abuse to the list of crimes committed against her.

Then the show not only did it, they showed us her being raped. And if that wasn’t enough, her abuse was used to further Theon’s story, because he had to watch the girl he had grown up with experience this monstrous abuse.

It made the rape of Sansa more about Theon than it was about her; a compelling female character was victimized, and that was used to also make a man a victim. The entire plot line felt unnecessary (overkill really) to Sansa’s story, cruelty for cruelty’s sake, and then the show mitigated her abuse by making it about someone else.

Theon did not need to literally see what happened to Sansa that night to understand what kind of horrors his actions had sown. Nor did we, the audience, need to see what Ramsay did to her to know it had happened. I will always hate that Sansa’s story went down this road, but once the decision was made to put her through the nightmare of marrying Ramsay the show should have trusted us to understand what that meant for the characters involved.

When Ramsay ordered his dogs to eat his step mother and baby brother, they didn’t show us the actual act. The horror of the moment was enough. If you’ve made it this far into the show, you’ve accepted this is a horrible world where people do horrible things, and that includes murder and rape. The show shouldn’t be expected to ignore those realities. But the decision when to actually show us those crimes should only be in service to the story, and they need to be handled with both deftness and an understanding that these scenes are not viewed in a vacuum.

But for all of the intentions behind the scene—and we do trust that the show was trying to achieve a very different result—it was grossly mishandled, making it feel gratuitous and cruel.

Season five has been better than I originally thought (even the rest of this episode was typically great), but when the stupidity of cosplaying Jaime and Bronn fighting the Sand Snakes isn’t the worst scene in an episode, you know something has gone horribly wrong.

But what do you think of this episode? What about season five? Tell us in the comments below.

Images: HBO

Watch Megadeth’s Tribute to Chris Cornell and Soundgarden in Tokyo

To those of us of a certain age, the death of Chris Cornell–particularly by suicide–is absolutely gutting. Among the big four of the Seattle grunge scene (Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, and Eddie Vedder being the other three), he alone was the one who always seemed to be having a blast, from drinking the bile juice generated by the Jim Rose Circus Sideshow at Lollapalooza to cavalierly mashing up U2 and Metallica and somehow creating something beautiful…

But as hard as it may be on fans, the news has to have hit his peers even harder. Megadeth‘s Dave Mustaine heard the news while on tour in Japan, and while the two frontmen may not instantly be associated in people’s minds as part of the same scene, they hit career highs around the same time, as Megadeth’s Countdown to Extinction and Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger both broke big into the mainstream in 1992, 25 years ago now.

Mustaine’s gravelly growl was in many ways the opposite of Cornell’s haunting wail, but in tribute to the late icon, Megadeth switched up their set in Tokyo today to include a cover of Soundgarden’s “Outshined,” in which, rather than use his familiar range, Mustaine attempted to hit those high notes, and did a lot better than you might expect.

Be forewarned: language on the clip is NSFW, as a visibly shaken Mustaine has to start by somewhat patiently explaining to some of his younger fans who Cornell was, and (less patiently) get some of the rowdier fans to stop yelling out requests so he can properly pay tribute. And of course, it’s not the smoothest, most well-rehearsed “Outshined” you’ve ever heard, but the heart and energy behind it is unmistakable…and that’s pretty punk rock.

Have you all seen any other good Cornell tributes? We’d love to see them. Please share in comments below or on our Facebook page.

Image: YouTube/JC Pix

Watch Nick Offerman Try to Open a Whisky Distillery in Scotland

Serious question: Why did it take this long for everyone’s favorite human, Ron Swanson Nick Offerman, to try and open a whisky distillery? Ron Swanson loved whisky. Nick Offerman loves whisky. It feels wrong that it took the Parks and Recreation star this long to finally try his hand at making this barrel-aged nectar of the gods. I mean, the man owns a gosh dang woodworking shop in Los Angeles. You’d think he would’ve made himself some barrels and started aging the stuff eons ago. But alas, I guess being a comedian and working actor and woodworker and author and superhero of balancing hyper-masculine do-it-yourselfer activities and feminist tendencies does take up a lot of one’s time. (Besides, if you were the very funny husband to the iconically funny Megan Mullally, wouldn’t you just want to spend all day goofing off and laughing about hilarious y’all are?)

Well thankfully, Offerman is trying to remedy any whisky blind spots (which, ha) over on YouTube in his “My Tales of Whisky” web series. It’s like that London episode of Parks and Rec brought to life (but with less of the lovely earnest sappiness of Leslie Knope).

In it, the man that all the bacon and eggs built visits various distilleries across Scotland, and the resulting videos are exactly what you’d expect. Like this one, where Offerman decides that the Isle of Skye is the perfect place for a distillery of his very own:

Unfortunately…Nick Offerman is not as patient as his sitcom counterpart, so the dream is quickly dead. But hey: at least we got this cute video out of it, eh?

Featured Image: My Tales of Whisky/YouTube

Wizarding World of HARRY POTTER Universal Studios Hollywood Announces Nighttime Light Spectacular

Over the last few years, Universal Studios has given the Disney Parks quite a run for their money, especially with the addition of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in both their Orlando and Southern California parks. And just like Disney ‘s spectacular light shows such as Fanstasmic and World of Color, Universal is looking to do the same with J.K. Rowling’s world of Harry Potter in the Hollywood Studios theme park.

According to Slashfilm, back when Universal Studios Hollywood held the grand opening of the West Coast version of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, they displayed an incredible, high-tech light show onto the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Now, The Nighttime Lights at Hogwarts Castle will be coming to the park on a regular basis, in a new projection mapping show that is said to spotlight the four houses of Hogwarts: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.

The nighttime spectacular will have a rousing ending with giant beams of lights that will shoot out into the night sky, accompanied by a special musical arrangement created by Academy Award-winning composer John Williams, based on his original scores composed for the film series. There will be multiple shows each night, and live rehearsals for annual pass holders are said to be starting in June, in advance of the June 23 grand opening.

You can check out a video down below of the opening night ceremony show at Universal Studios Hollywood, which around the 11 minute mark, shows a light show that uses projection mapping on the castle. While the new show won’t be the exact same thing, it gives Harry Potter fans a good idea of what to expect come June.

Are you as excited as we are about this cool new addition to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter? Let us know your feelings down below in the comments.

Images: Warner Brothers

Did Kevin Feige Offer Hope For an AVENGERS and X-MEN Team-Up Movie?

Next year, Avengers: Infinity War will push comic book movies to their limits with an all-star line-up that includes Spider-Man, Doctor Strange, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and every freakin’ Avenger in the MCU for a showdown with Thanos. The only way an Avengers film could possibly be an even bigger experience is if the unthinkable happened: an X-Men and Avengers team-up movie. Today’s Nerdist News is gonna tell you why that idea may not be as impossible as it used to.

Join host and the Daily Bugle’s top reporter, Jessica Chobot, as she walks us through the comments that Kevin Feige made about the possibility of Marvel striking a deal with 20th Century Fox to share the X-Men and Fantastic Four characters. In a roundabout way, Feige indicated that he couldn’t talk about that even if there was something happening, but he also indicated that he would absolutely welcome the chance to make it happen.

Spider-Man’s entrance into the MCU could serve as a template for any deal that Marvel potentially strikes with Fox. Essentially, Sony and Marvel allow each other to use their respective characters free of charge, which is why Iron Man has such a prominent part in Spider-Man: Homecoming. In return, each side keeps the rights and profits from their own movies, which means that Sony could potentially get a big windfall from Homecoming, while Marvel gets the same deal from Infinity War.

This would be particularly ideal for Fox’s Fantastic Four, which has failed to ignite at the box office after its most recent reboot. It seems that the best way to give Marvel’s first family a cinematic mulligan would be to let Marvel Studios produce the film and welcome those characters into the MCU. Whether that will eve happen is still a long shot, but there is some evidence that the two sides have been talking. Ego the Living Planet is only in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 because Fox needed permission to make some changes to Negasonic Teenage Warhead in Deadpool. That was a win-win situation, and the two companies could have even bigger wins if they decide to finally play nice and unite their biggest comic properties.

One other thing to consider: Hugh Jackman has previously said that he’d be up for bringing Wolverine into the Avengers. It’s not too late to see this happen.

Do you want to see the Avengers and X-Men collide on the big screen? Let’s discuss in the comment section below!

Nerdist Podcast: Michael Fassbender and Danny McBride

Michael Fassbender (X-Men, Inglorious Basterds) and Danny McBride (Eastbound and Down, Pineapple Express) talk with Chris about doing jokes on set, adding improv into scenes and how they got into acting. Michael also talks about racing cars, Danny talks about his Halloween movie he is writing and they talk about Alien: Covenant!

Chris Cornell Was Grunge Music’s Virtuoso

When David Bowie died last year, Chris Cornell wrote, “You don’t know how important someone is to you as an artistic influence until suddenly they’re gone. I’ve certainly been having that experience. It’s kind of equal parts sad and celebratory to think, ‘Awesome. What an amazing career he had and what an amazing legacy he’s left for everybody.'”

It’s in somber celebration that we can now apply those words to Cornell himself, who died last night after performing with Soundgarden at Detroit’s Fox Theatre. The band closed the show, as they had regularly for years, with a cover of Led Zeppelin’s “In My Time of Dying,” a harbinger, but a song perfect for Cornell’s ethereal range.

The natural heir to Joe Cocker, Cornell’s voice sounded like it had been dragged through a gravel quarry after a dynamite detonation. But it was balletic too. Ranging four octaves, his vocals sounded as smooth and bitter as mud-black coffee, the perfect medium for the haunting, adrenalizing poetry he shared throughout four decades.

Cornell was proof that the word “virtuoso” shouldn’t be reserved solely for those classically inclined. His style was centered in the Seattle Sound, but experimentation proved his vocals meshed well with folky jams (“Before We Disappear”), poppy tribal grooves (“Can’t Change Me”), bluesy ballads (“Sweet Euphoria”), and countless other genres.

Out of the glitter-strewn ashes of ’80s rock, Soundgarden (alongside Nirvana and Pearl Jam) offered something that felt more dangerous. Instead of bathing in neon excess and manic, spandex smiles, grunge permitted musicians and fans an outlet for exorcising pain. In plain t-shirts and jeans, Cornell rejected the theatrics of the previous decade: “Black hole sun/ won’t you come/ and wash away the rain” was simultaneously baptismal and apocalyptic.

Stripped-down and raw, Cornell’s clear tones were a perfect sonic foil for Kim Thayil’s distorted–often psychedelic–guitar riffs. A similar partnership emerged when Cornell merged with a Zack de la Rocha-less Rage Against the Machine to slam 1970s hard rock together with the signature 1990s alt energy both Rage and Soundgarden helped invent. Tom Morello’s driving, muted guitar chords and alien solos offered a coarse counterpoint to Cornell’s precision, but what made the partnership soar was Cornell’s ability to belt it out when the guitars kicked into overdrive. He had a huge stadium voice that didn’t have a single drop of sunshine in it, and his most magical gift was his ability to add distortion to his tone exactly like an electric guitar.

Despite the dozens of Audioslave and Soundgarden tracks to blast today, I genuinely hope that Cornell’s solo work isn’t lost underneath the mosh pit. “Euphoria Morning” (originally intended to be called “Euphoria Mourning” before a typo) is a masterpiece. It signaled an incredible artist in transition, rooted yet exploratory, disturbingly easy to listen to. His final studio solo album, “Higher Truth,” is similarly outstanding, but it both benefits and is hampered by his status as an elder statesman. It’s a bit safer, a bit more stable, and it allowed his voice to take the spotlight. Cornell’s grinding, repeated “He will say I Love You” in the simple ballad “Only These Words” is magnificently heartbreaking, and as usual, his writing offers bold visuals and a true sense of emotional space.

Cornell was also the rare musician who understood how to cover other musicians’ songs. With skillful integrity, he allowed the core of the work to persist while adding his own, unique layers. From Whitney Houston to Pearl Jam to The Beatles to Prince, he honored their music as a fan first, giving each tribute its own flare. His cover of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” is a legitimate reason to change religions.

Pain was not something Chris Cornell ever hid. I’ve always thought that Cornell’s vocals hovered exactly between heaven and hell, mildly tormented. He faced depression throughout his life, but, while tinged with distress, his music transcended single-minded obsession with hurt. On the contrary, it offered a wide range of experiences, vivid imagery, and exultant passions. I can only assume that legions of fans, like me, discovered the liberation of honestly and directly expressing vulnerability because of Cornell. This was his parting gift, and his music, thankfully, lives on.

The national suicide prevention hotline is at 1-800-273-8255.

Images: A&M Records, BB Gun Press

ARROW’s Stephen Amell Makes the AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR Course Look Easy

Stephen Amell is perhaps the greatest special effect on Arrow. Amell has the look of a superhero, and he’s got the physicality and the athleticism to back it up. Amell can not only climb a salmon ladder, he’s a really compelling performer as well. It’s hard not to admire Amell’s willingness to take on challenges outside of his TV show. Two years ago, Amell took part in a match at WWE’s SummerSlam. And later this month, Amell is setting his sights on American Ninja Warrior.

Via TVLine, the first footage from Amell’s appearance on Celebrity Ninja Warrior: Red Nose Day has emerged. And unsurprisingly, Amell doesn’t seem to be phased at all. If anything, the famous obstacle course appears to be too easy for Amell, who actually plays to the crowd between the challenges.

The rest of Amell’s appearance on Celebrity Ninja Warrior will air on Thursday, May 25th at 8pm, as part of NBC’s Red Nose Day programming. But Amell won’t be alone: Erika Christensen, Derek Hough, Natalie Morales, Mena Suvari, Nikki Glaser, and Jeff Dye will all make their own runs through the course, in addition to Olympic gold medalist Ashton Eaton and former Yankees player Nick Swisher.

The Red Nose Day special will be hosted by our very own Chris Hardwick, and the entire evening features celebrities contributing to comedic sketches and stunts while raising money for various charities. You can find out more about Red Nose Day by visiting the official site.

Are you excited to see Amell and the other celebrities take on American Ninja Warrior? Let us know in the comment section below!

Image: NBC

This STAR WARS Tattoo Sleeve Shows Dark Side Dedication

First of all, I don’t intend to feature so many Star Wars tattoos in Inked Wednesday, but readers keep sending me awesome ones. I can’t help it! Case in point: Chris G. just sent me photos of a ridiculously detailed and colorful sleeve that’s a dedication to all things Imperial.

What he calls his “dark side dedication sleeve” took about five months and over 50 hours to complete. That’s a lot of time sitting in a chair with a needle piercing your skin. Chris and his tattoo artist, Megan Emery at Bijou Studio Tattoos, had 4.5-6 hour sessions every two weeks. The fully operational tattoo was completed on May 6. Chris told me, “The sleeve was a collaborative effort between myself and my tattoo artist. I sent her several Star Wars images prior to my first session & she came up with the design/layout of the sleeve.”

The images included Chris’ must have characters like Darth Vader and Boba Fett and vehicles like the TIE fighter.

The tattooist is also the owner of Bijou Studio Tattoos in Austin, Texas. You can follow her on Instagram and drop by the shop’s website if you’re interested in stopping by.

Catch a ride on an AT-AT to the gallery below to see the sleeve from additional angles.

Submit your ink

If you have nerdy ink on your skin or you’re a tattoo artist that applies pop culture, STEM, music, or other nerd-inspired ink (tl;dr: I want to see basically all of the tattoos) on a regular basis, then please hit me up because I’d like to highlight you in a future Inked Wednesday gallery. I’m especially interested if you have a sleeve or other large tattoo. You can get in touch with me via email at alratcliffe@yahoo.com. Send me photos of the tattoos you’d like me to feature (the higher resolution, the better) and don’t forget to let me know the name of your tattoo artist if you have it, as well the name of the shop he or she works out of. If you are the tattoo artist, give me links to your portfolios and/or Instagram accounts so I can share them with our readers.

Images: Chris G.

This Designer POKÉMON Watch Costs More Money Than You’ve Ever Seen

Just now, I did a search for “Pokémon watch” on Amazon, and you probably wouldn’t be surprised to find out that I came across a few options in different designs and colors for between $10 and $40. If you’re looking for a timekeeping device to represent your favorite battling monster franchise on your wrist, one of those products ought to scratch that itch. If you have a few more dollars to throw around for a premium product, though, Swiss luxury watchmaker RJ-Romain Jerome has just the thing for you (via Kotaku).

It has a bunch of features that admittedly don’t mean much to us watch ignoramuses but that sound like quality things to include, like a lighting bolt-shaped Tourbillon bridge, an oscillating weight that’s shaped like a back view of Pikachu, and an alligator strap. If that sounds like it’s for you, then check that you have $258,000 in your checking account before you buy, because that’s how much money you’ll be parting with during this transaction.

Over a quarter of a million dollars for a timepiece that frankly looks way too colorful and busy is steep, we get that. Thankfully, RJ-Romain Jerome offers a more simple watch that features Pikachu on a dark gray background and with a yellow strap, and that one only costs $20,000, which is also known as the Kelley Blue Book price for a brand new 2017 Hyundai Sonata.

Is this watch for you, or would you rather pay off your student loans? Let us know what you think in the comments below!

Featured image: RJ-Romain Jerome