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GAME OF THRONES Recap: Eastwatch By the Bastards

Hello, fair citizens of the Realm! It’s that time of year again—the most wonderful of them all— Game of Thrones  season. And, in addition to winter: spoilers are coming! (And maybe a few swears, too. Woops!) As this is a recap, it goes over everything in crazy detail, so proceed at your own risk and don’t say we didn’t warn you!

Trueborn Dany may have been the one spitting fire, but it was all about the bastards in this week’s fifth episode of Thrones, “Eastwatch.” Named after the castle at the easternmost point of The Wall, Eastwatch by the Sea did not turn out to be the home of Gendry Baratheon (as we so long hoped), but he did end up there, alongside the other two (Jon and Tormund) of this particular recapper’s boyfriends, leaving the game for power and into the fight for life. DAMN WHAT AN EPISODE OF THRONES, Y’ALL.

But first, we have a beef to pick with a one young, fresh Samwell Tarly. I feel like Leslie Jones right now:

Yo Sam she just gave you some info there man!! Listen!! pic.twitter.com/QqRkIVYWJh

— Leslie Jones (@Lesdoggg) August 14, 2017

Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam: did you bump your little head between your first scene and the last? What gives, bruh? How are you going to be the one who’s always hyper-obsessed with detail and the connections of history and STOP GILLY IN THE MIDDLE OF HER TELLING YOU ABOUT RHAEGAR AND LYANNA. Boy, I could smack you silly! Do you know what this means? IT ONLY MEANS THAT JON SNOW IS TECHNICALLY AND ACTUALLY THE RIGHTFUL KING OF WESTEROS. If Rhaegar got an annulment from his wedding, in Dorne, and married Lyanna Stark before she gave birth then technically—technically!—Jon Snow is no bastard at all, but actually the heir to Rhaegar’s throne, a.k.a. the one that was taken from him by Robert Baratheon after he died.

Just let that one sink in for a minute. Because for all of the importance of his parentage, I did not anticipate that Jon would be a “true-born” son. And here I was thinking this was only important to him in the context of his future as a dragon-rider. Oh George, even when you aren’t writing your own story, you never cease to surprise us (if this is part of your plan, natch).

But now it seems VERY plain who the three heads of the dragon truly are: Dany (because duh), Jon (because also duh), and Tyrion, because he too had a moment in Meereen where a dragon did not immediately bite off his head for touching it. Don’t think for a second that moment was anything other than a signifier of that, particularly when one takes Dany’s shocked response to Drogon’s tranquility in Jon’s hand, and that passionate mention of how Tywin Lannister hated Tyrion for “what he was,” and the mention of Tyrion being a monster, into consideration. These are our three heads of the dragon, y’all.

(The moment starts around 3:23, below.)

But how happy do we think Dany will be if and when she realizes Jon Snow is the true Targaryen heir? Our money is on “probably none too pleased” because, well, she’s been living her whole life for this moment — to arrive and be the queen, the last Targaryen. It was promised to her and she worked hard for what she thought was due (mistake number one). But also what if technically Tyrion is because he’s secretly Aerys’ last living son by way of an affair or rape of Tyrion’s mom? What if she finds out there are MULTIPLE SECRET TARGARYENS?!

OK OK OK we may be getting ahead of ourselves so let’s just stop. HAMMER TIME!

First of all, not only did we find out where Gendry’s been all this time—right back in Fleabottom, King’s Landing because of course/god damn it—he’s joined the Good Guys (for now) thanks to Ser Davos bringing him aboard Team Triple D (the “d” stands for oh you get it). AAAAND he has his chill new mega-hammer (that plus his old bull helm and sheesh I have the vapors), which will no doubt do well for him once he ends up in front of the army of the dead, based on what it did to those Lannister guardsmen. (Thanks for saving Tyrion, btw.)

Also: did anyone else notice how much darker the metal of his hammer is? And how Gendry mentioned that he “knew” he was getting ready for something? Of course this can be taken at face value with no mystical undertones whatsoever (and it’s probably best you do that), however we can’t help but wonder if there wasn’t some magic involved there thanks to Melisandre. Or whatever steel he used to forge his hammer (leftovers from Ned’s longsword mixed in with some others?!). Or maybe his blood intertwined with it to create some sort of Valryian magic in that steel as a byproduct of the magic she used on him! MYSTERIES ABOUND is what we’re saying, also I feel like a conspiracy theorist right now.

Still, to see Stark and Baratheon boys coming together in the name of “saving the Realm” was an exciting if no doubt purposeful mirror — but will their war actually be the one to end the real war worth winning? Ned and Robert’s games were the stuff of power, not of life and death. Of course, Ned and Robert never traveled North of The Wall with a Red Priest and a Wildling and their friends before, so who knows? Maybe they’ve finally learned from their fathers’ adherence to the games of control. And don’t think for a second we aren’t going to learn (hopefully!) that being cured of Greyscale means Ser Jorah can’t be turned into a wight.

Or maybe he will be and he’ll be the one they bring to the Dragonpit to show Cersei! (Or maybe he’ll give her greyscale or she’ll turn into a Wight Queen or something .)

Speaking of control! Let’s talk about Dany, who’s clearly in dire need of some reigning in. (Also yes I know there’s a direwolf Jon/Dany joke there but I’m leaving it.)

First we need to apologize to Varys, who so clearly has his finger on the pulse of what’s best. We’re sorry we ever doubted you. He sees how unwieldy her quest for power can turn her actions, which Tyrion knew, too, but tried to reason away. “That’s what I used to tell myself about her father,” he uttered ominously. “I’m not the one doing it.”

Now, obviously Dany is not as all-out-evil and mad as her father, but homegirl still comes from his stock so she’s gotta learn. Here’s hoping her crush on ol’ morality map Snow—and the return of SER JORAH OF HOUSE FRIENDZONE—will help guide her to what’s just and right. Or, better yet: she learns all on her own, frees the Realm from tyranny, smashes the army of the Dead, kills the Night King, and makes Jon and Jorah and Gendry all her boyfriends. And Tyrion and Jaime can go off and raise Cersei and Jaime’s NEW (which: ugh/oy/SERIOUSLY?!) child after they murder Cersei.

I mean hey, a girl can hope.

But back to Cersei because, ugh, it always comes back to her. She has yet another brotherloverbaby in her sisteroven (barf), but this time she doesn’t care if everyone knows it. Oh, and she’s also apparently keen on meeting with Dany (HELLO DRAGONPIT SCENE WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR) in order to try and trick her and beat her on the field. Because all she cares about is her family, and power, and the ugly little lie she’s created for herself—that she deserves any of this.

Side note (and I’m going to hate myself for saying this, but): how heartbreaking was it to see Jaime so seemingly defeated and in want of death? Bronn knew it, Dany probably knew it, Drogon definitely knew it, we all knew it—you just don’t stare down a dragon and try to murder its mom and think you’re going to come out fine the other end of it. So definitely get ready for more of his redemption arc later on. He already feels thisclose to joining the other side after his reunion with Tyrion.

And, in the end, the most exciting and satisfying reunion of last week—that of the sisters Stark—may turn out to be the deadliest, if Littlefinger has anything to do with it. You see, he knows Arya doesn’t trust him (and he likely remembers her being quite the adept little spy/sort from when he was traveling with Tywin back in season two), so he’s definitely setting her up with that little runaround letterchase. DON’T BELIEVE IT, ARYA! TRUST YOUR SISTER! MURDER LITTLEFINGER! HE’S THE WORST!

But who knows, guess we’ll have to wait and see for next week, a.k.a. the penultimate episode of the season when everything traditionally goes to shit.

OTHER ODDS AND ENDS:

NOT HAPPY WITH DANY’S TREATMENT OF THE TARLY’S if for nothing more than the Dickon jokes. R.I.P. them
Quote of the night, Ser Davos: “Nothing f***s you harder than time.”
Choices words from Ser Beric: “And we serve it together whether we know it or not.”
Choicer words from Gendry about Jon Snow: “And you’re a lot shorter.”

UGH CAN THESE TWO GET IN ON A TRIPLE KISS WITH TORMUND?

Again: a girl can dream, right?




Do we think Arya’s just good at reading people, or did the Faceless Men also teach her literal mind reading?
According to Sam, Bran “survived for years beyond the wall” so, OH, OKAY THAT’S WHERE ALL THE TIME WENT ON THIS SHOW.
Do we think Dany will figure out Jon’s already dead? And if so, what does that mean??

What did you think of this week’s episode? Let us know in the comments below.

Images: HBO

Alicia Lutes is the Managing Editor, creator/co-host of Fangirling, and resident Khaleesi of House Nerdist. Find her on Twitter but only if you really want because, like—I’m not your boss.

Unique Vintage’s Disney Villains Collection Is Rotten to the Core (Exclusive)

Unique Vintage kicked off summer by launching The Happiest Collection on Earth, a whole pile of fashionable duds inspired by Disney Parks. They’re following up those wholesome looks and bright colors with a release that’s more on the wicked side of things because it’s all about Disney villains. The likes of Gaston from Beauty and the Beast, Captain Hook and Smee from Peter Pan, Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty, and more infuse The Happiest Collection on Earth with a little mischief for the Villains Edition, and we have your exclusive sneak peek of the smashing offerings.

The nefarious separates in the Villains Edition include pants, swing skirts, purses, and everything in between. As you can see from the outfit photos above and below, the collection is practically made for dastardly DisneyBounding. Think of it like everyday cosplay you can put together by crafting outfits inspired by a character. So for Gaston, it’s all about a red shirt, black pants, and tall boots. For Maleficent, it’s a long black dress.

DisneyBounding is emulating a character without crossing into full costume territory.

Look into a magic mirror and travel to the gallery below to see more villainous DisneyBound looks you can put together using pieces in the collection. Then, visit Unique Vintage to place orders and to see even more of the line, including fascinators, Disney villain t-shirts and tops, and more accessories.

Do any of these looks call out to you? Scroll to the comments and tell us about what you like and if you’ll be working any of these items into your fall Dapper Day ensembles.

Images: Unique Vintage

GAME OF THRONES Characters Give Us Their Rendition of “Ice Ice Baby”

Many of you reading this have only lived in a world where rapper Vanilla Ice is a reality TV star and occasional actor in Adam Sandler movies. But for a very brief, shining moment back in 1990, he was the biggest musical star on the planet, thanks to his single “Ice Ice Baby,” which propelled his debut album to a staggering sixteen weeks at #1 on the Billboard top 100 and selling an enormous 11 million copies. All of this success powered by one insanely catchy (and fairly ridiculous) single, which ended up launching and ending Vanilla Ice’s career at almost the exact same time. It’s maybe the quickest rise and fall in American music history.

And yet, some 25 years later, “Ice Ice Baby” continues to persist in popular culture. The latest example is something of a no brainer, as someone thought that Vanilla Ice’s “classic” frostily titled song would go perfectly with all those pesky White Walkers and “Winter is coming” talk from Game of Thrones. And you know what? They were right.

Via The Laughing Squid, YouTube channel Retro Miami Nights has created a cleverly edited video of “Ice Ice Baby” being sung by characters from HBO‘s Game of Thrones. Here is the original song, if you need to reacquaint yourself with all of its posturing and silliness, and here is the wonderful Game of Thrones mash-up above.

That video alone makes it worth Vanilla Ice ever having been a thing.

What do you think of the latest, clever Games of Thrones mash-up? Be sure to let us know down below in the comments.

Images: HBO / Universal Pictures

Mimi Choi’s Makeup Optical Illusions Might Make Your Stomach Flip

Brace yourself for images that will dazzle you, confound you, and probably squick you out. Those are just a few of the side effects you can expect after viewing makeup artist Mimi Choi’s astounding work. Her optical illusion makeup came to our attention through Bored Panda, and we are sufficiently impressed. Look at this magic:

A post shared by ＭＩＭＩ ＣＨＯＩ (@mimles) on May 5, 2017 at 4:02am PDT

Before she turned her attention to turning the human face into a piece of trippy art, Choi was a preschool teacher. She wasn’t satisfied with the profession, and after she left that job, she decided to try her hand at makeup. She went to a local beauty college and studied YouTube tutorials. Those studies led to an Choi applying an array of makeup styles from straightforward to otherworldly. You can guess which ones we’re going to focus on.

A post shared by ＭＩＭＩ ＣＨＯＩ (@mimles) on Jun 22, 2017 at 8:52am PDT

Insert multiple lines of the shocked emoji here.

A post shared by ＭＩＭＩ ＣＨＯＩ (@mimles) on May 11, 2017 at 1:23am PDT

Snake lips, anyone?

A post shared by ＭＩＭＩ ＣＨＯＩ (@mimles) on May 9, 2017 at 12:09am PDT

Choi doesn’t limit herself to putting makeup on only the face. This is a sushi hand. Seriously.

A post shared by ＭＩＭＩ ＣＨＯＩ (@mimles) on Feb 7, 2017 at 10:01am PST

To get regular doses of impressive and wild makeup illusions, follow Choi on Instagram. Just maybe don’t scroll through her feed right before bed.

Are Choi’s makeup illusions giving you inspiration for Halloween? You have over two months. Start practicing now.

Images: Mimi Choi

Best Cat Owner Ever Builds His Cats an Epic Cardboard Box Maze

August 8 was the world’s most important holiday, International Cat Day. It’s a meaningful holiday that demands respectful observance, and cat owner Chris Poole decided he needed to kick his celebrating up a notch. Poole lives in a home with two cats named Cole and Marmalade. To help his feline friends enjoy their special day, he presented them with the perfect gift: a maze made out of 50 cardboard boxes (and a few hidden snacks scattered about the maze as well).

The video is nothing short of delightful. So ignore the news and forget about anything stressing you out today, and just watch the pure, unfiltered joy of cats playing in boxes.

This is basically the best thing in cat-related content since the discovery of cat island and the advent of cosplaying cats. Clearly, Cole and Marmalade loved their maze, and though it’s unclear how long they actually spent exploring the maze they do a very good job of navigating the cardboard labyrinth. And apparently, the maze seems like fun for man and beast alike. There were even a few comments on the video of people wishing they were able to play in a human-sized version of the maze. Which honestly, if it also had cats to play with and some snacks hidden throughout, I’d be game.

If you need more videos like this, you can check out the rest of Poole’s YouTube channel, aptly named Cole and Marmalade. Poole has loads of videos of his cats playing, exploring his house, as well as some how-to videos about life with cats, and videos encouraging people to adopt and care for abandoned cats. Basically, it’s internet gold.

Have you ever made something this elaborate for your pet? How did they like it? Tell us about it in the comments!

Feature Image: Cole and Marmalade/YouTube

Beautifully Detailed Marvel Jewelry Lets You Bring Out Your Inner Superhero

We all have a little bit of superhero spirit inside of us, but some days you may want to show it off while keeping things subtle. Rather than wearing full cosplay to feel heroic, you can show off your super inclinations with this spectacular jewelry.

These pieces of fine jewelry look just like the real thing thanks to incredible detailing. Made of sterling silver and 14K gold, Doctor Strange’s Eye of Agamatto pendant is screen accurate and will make you feel like the Sorcerer Supreme.

Feeling more like a man out of time? Captain America’s shield pendant has little gold straps on the back—making it more than just a necklace—it’s as if Cap himself was handing you his shield! Well, maybe if you were Ant-Man.

The detailing even makes its way down to the smallest of secrets. The Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. ring is available in its regular form or—plot twist— the double agent version which has a hidden Hydra symbol underneath. Tsk, tsk… Make good choices, folks.

For fans of Ms. Marvel, an Avengers A necklace just like the one Kamala Khan wears on the cover of issue #1 of the Ms. Marvel series is the perfect accessory for everyday cosplay.

All of the jewelry is handcrafted and officially licensed by Marvel. Every piece also comes with a certificate of authenticity lined with gold foil and packaged in a custom-designed box that doubles as a display case.

Let’s hope you’re worthy enough to wield the Mjolnir pendant, otherwise you’ll never be able to put it on.

See more of the Marvel jewelry in the gallery below or online at comicbookjewelry.com.

Which piece of jewelry brings out your inner superhero? Let us know in the comments and tell us by tagging @nerdist and @justjenn on Twitter!

Images: comicbookjewelry.com

This Video of 20,000 Glow-in-the-Dark Dominoes Falling is Mesmerizing

Nothing is better than watching an arranged group of dominoes get knocked over with expert precision. We mere mortals may not have the patience and skill to create some of the more elaborate pieces of domino art, so it’s easy to lose huge chunks of time watching domino designs fall. However captivating domino art can be, a group of domino artists called Austrian Domino Art have taken things up a notch by introducing glow-in-the-dark dominoes.

The Laughing Squid first posted about the delightful and impressive display, and we simply haven’t been able to stop watching the video. The artists set up 20,000 glow-in-the-dark dominoes in total for this build, and the video is nothing short of fantastic. Watch the amazing work for yourself!

Watching domino art topple over is one of the most inexplicably soothing of all our digital pastimes, but there is just something about adding in the glow-in-the-dark aspect that makes it an even more captivating video.

Of course, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that this team has made such a creative and cool domino build. After all, back in 2015, the team set the Guinness World Record for the largest stick bomb, setting off an elaborate chain reaction with over 30,000 sticks and an impressive domino display to set off the stick bomb. This is clearly a team with a ton of patience and awesome creativity.

What are some of your favorite domino art videos? Have you ever tried to do an elaborate domino build like this one? Tell us about it in the comments!

Feature Image: Austrian Domino Art/Youtube

This Time-Lapse of a Spider Building Its Web is a Reminder of How Beautiful Nature is

Humans have a love-hate relationship with spiders. They’re creepy, have too many legs, and we don’t want them anywhere near us, but yet, if they’re off in the corner of a room trapping flies and eating them out of our lives, then they’re like our allies. And as much of a drag it may be to walk through an unseen spider web, let’s not forget that they really are amazing and beautiful structures.

You’ve probably seen a spider in a web, and perhaps even a spider working on building a web, but have you ever had the patience to stick around and watch the spider actually construct a web from start to finish? We doubt it, but the folks at BBC Earth did, and the resulting footage is hypnotizing (via LaughingSquid).

First, the Orb spider builds a foundational bridge line across the top, then adds anchor points. Once the basic frame is in place, the spider takes a break, starts producing sticky “capture silk,” and lays that in place. That’s a grossly oversimplified breakdown of the process, which the video explains and illustrates in greater detail. It’s a truly fascinating process that shows the myriad ways the creatures on our planet get through their days and feed themselves.

Check out the video for yourself above, and let us know in the comments below what other “animal build” videos you’d like to see. Perhaps a beaver constructing its dam?

Featured image: BBC Earth/YouTube

GAME OF THRONES’ Deaths Get a POKÉMON-Style PokéRap

All men must die.

Game of Thrones seems to take that quite literally, since the average life expectancy for characters on the show is roughly a scene-and-a-half. However, all of that murder and mayhem doesn’t seem so bad, now that Dorkly has set all of those deaths to a fun PokéRap-style parody tune.

That’s right, that infamous Pokémon song, the one that will live inside your head forever, was the inspiration for this musical journey through all of the deceased from the Seven Kingdoms. And seven bloody hells the show has had so, so many dead people.

“Gotta kill ’em all” is right. We knew the death total on the show was massive, but seeing just how long the song is really drives that home. Especially how many babies they have killed off. So many babies!

This is fantastic, but we especially appreciate how they included a spoiler warning directly in the song before getting to the current season’s deaths. Also, since we live in a constant state of anxiety over when George R.R. Martin will (hopefully) finish the books, we enjoyed getting to laugh at how much we worry about that.

If you’re just like us and you have to listen to the original PokéRap now we got you covered.

As much as we love this crossover, this should be as far as it goes.

Because if Pokémon existed in Westeros, Team Rocket would currently be sitting on the Iron Throne and we’d all be too sad to talk about Ash’s death at the Battle of the Zapdos.

For more Game of Thrones and Pokémon, check out how actor Jerome Flynn’s mailman won’t speak to him after last week’s Game of Thrones, and Pokemon: Sun and Moon‘s new Lycanroc form.

Which lyrics from this parody are your favorite? Sing it to us in the comments below.

Featured Image: HBO

Realm Round-Up: The Biggest GAME OF THRONES Stories for “The Spoils of War”

Warning: Spoilers are ahead for season seven of Game of Thrones. Stop and catch a dragon out of here if you’re not caught up to “The Spoils of War.”

It’s a busy time in Westeros. With season seven moving along at a speed akin to spreading wildfire, we can barely keep up with analysis, theories, and breakdowns. The roots of Game of Thrones go several seasons deep, and each episode brings new connections. In other words, there’s a lot to dig into and we don’t hold back.

“The Spoils of War” featured a ton of elements to ponder upon, so, to help you make sure you caught everything, we’re kicking off Realm Round-Up, a collection of Game of Thrones stories tied to the most recent episode linked in one place. This week it’s about Jaime Lannister, dragons, Valyrian steel, and more.

Remember When. First things first, relive every moment of “The Spoils of War” from the catspaw dagger gift (Littlefinger is the worst at giving presents) to Drogon’s column of flame in Alicia’s recap. With all the details fresh in your mind, we can move forward.

Dragon! The Battle of the Reach (which is a better name for the Loot Train Attack, so it’s what I’m using) would have been far less, well, everything without Drogon. I break down why Drogon was the MVP of the episode right this way. [Image: Tumblr/Fictional Dreams]

So. Much. Coordination. Speaking of the battle—which is kinda what this episode hinged on—HBO shared a 14 minute video showcasing the massive amount of planning and work that went into making the attack look realistic. Yeah, it was dressed up with visual effects, but the practical aspects blew my damn mind. Watch the video here.

Blow by Blow. We can’t get enough of the battle, okay? And why would we want to what with all the intensity and burning flesh? Jessica Chobot took a deep dive into the ebb and flow of the fight in Nerdist News.

‘Splodin’ Minds. You’ve refreshed your memory about “The Spoils of War,” now take a deep dive on the latest All Kings Considered. The group goes deep on Daenerys Targaryen‘s bold move, the Stark reunion, and all the things.

Off the Deep End. Jaime Lannister was saved from Drogon’s fire and knocked into an apparently quite deep part of the river. How did it happen when the river seemed shallow? Reddit has an explanation. Learn about it over yonder.

Aww. Bronn fired a bolt into Drogon’s side, and though it didn’t bring Drogon down with any sort of finality (as far as we know), it stung. Actor Jerome Flynn hasn’t been feeling the love since the episode aired. Read more.

Dagger Questions. The dagger that ended up being passed to Arya Stark is made from Valyrian steel and has some sort of important role to play. We saw it featured in a book Sam Tarly was reading earlier in season seven. The open pages of the book may have a clue about why Valyrian steel is so effective against White Walkers—and it’s not just because of being forged in dragon fire. Go deep into Valyrian steel in this post.

Homework Assignments. If you don’t already know, Mike Walsh kills it on the regular with his History of Thrones series. Two columns in particular are relevant after “The Spoils of War.” Go learn more about Aegon’s conquest and what happened when he brought dragons to Westeros and get intel on the Children of the Forest and the White Walkers.

Where’s Gendry? To close this week’s Realm Round-Up, let’s spin about Gendry. He could finally be coming back this season, and as Chobot theorizes in the above Nerdist News, he might change the whole damn game.

Do you have any lingering thoughts about “The Spoils of War?” Share it all in the comments.

Images: HBO