Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 1974

Terry Pratchett’s 10 Unfinished Novels Were Just Destroyed By a Steamroller

According to the BBC, as many as 10 unfinished novels from fantasy great Terry Pratchett were permanently erased from this good earth in appropriately foolish fashion: by an old-timey steamroller running over a hard drive.

Normally news of an acclaimed, beloved author’s work that hasn’t seen the light of day being erased would be depressing. It’s the end of potential. It’s a bunch of words in a particular order that we’ll never get to see. It’s a shame.

But we’re also in an era where AI is writing George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire because he’s “too slow,” and new “Agatha Christie” books are on shelves, and J.D. Salinger’s purposefully hidden tomes may get published, so you know what? Good on you, Mr. Pratchett. Kudos to Rob Wilkins, long-time assistant to the late, great author, who ensured that books that Pratchett never intended to meet the public will, in fact, never meet the public.

We’ll never get to see into the worlds of these ten obliterated works, but we’ll also never have another writer “finish” the books on Pratchett’s behalf. It was Pratchett’s intent that we never read them, and that no one else work on them, so it’s fitting and just that his wishes were carried out.

It’s also not like Pratchett left us without a gigantic pile of other books to read. From Disc World to collaborations with Neil Gaiman and Stephen Baxter, Pratchett wrote 70 novels.

Plus, it’s not wholly accurate that we can never see those unfinished books. We can’t read them, sure, but we can see the crushed hard drive at a Pratchett exhibition at the Salisbury Museum starting in September.

How silly is that?

Image: Terry Pratchett and Rob Wilkins Twitter

How Dany’s House of the Undying Vision Prepares Us for GAME OF THRONES’ Endgame

Editor’s Note: this post contains Game of Thrones spoilers — don’t say we didn’t warn ya!

To look forward, you’ve gotta look back. So, before heading into the eighth and final season of Game of Thrones, let’s take a moment to consider the second season finale, “Valar Morghulis,” in which King Joffrey (long may he reign) named his granddad Tywin Hand of the King, Jaqen H’ghar helped Arya, Hot Pie, and Gendry escape Harrenhal, and Daenerys went on a druggy trip in the headquarters of some skinny male witches.

She’d come to Qarth to convince one of the wealthy masters there to get her the ships necessary to bring an army to Westeros, but she was betrayed, and her dragons were stolen. To get them back, she ventured into The House of the Undying.

Her visions there and the symbolism planted all those years ago are blossoming alongside the plot now that she finally got some ships and made it to the other side of the world.

Here’s a quick refresher of what she saw back then:

A ruined Red Keep, hollowed and roofless, covered in snow.
The Wall and the Haunted Forest beyond, which she weathers to get to…
A Dothraki hut where she speaks with (the spirit of?) Khal Drogo and her stillborn child Rhaego.
Hearing her baby dragons, she leaves love behind to save them.
They save her by breathing fire on their captor, the Qarth warlock Pyat Pree.

Game of Thrones is all about its prophesies and symbolism. Maggy the Frog’s prognostications about Cersei. The Prince That Was Promised. Whatever Bran’s talking about at any given time. Like all great portents, Daenerys’ stroll through the potential future was vague enough to be read in multiple ways, but they ring with a finality that should be familiar to fans of traditional fantasy storytelling — which is exactly where Game of Thrones ended up after all its beheadings.

Her first encounter evokes her father’s plot to destroy King’s Landing with wildfire (which has been brought up again this season as those around her worry about her following those insane footsteps), and her journey takes her all the way to the throne. However, she doesn’t sit on it. She doesn’t even touch it. She draws away from its allure upon hearing her dragons’ cry.

At The Wall, she faces the wind we see every time the White Walkers appear, and trudges on to a heartfelt conversation with Drogo where they theorize they’re all dead and together as a family. Again, she draws painfully away from the scene after hearing her dragons, although it’s clearly much harder to leave Drogo and Rhaego than to dismiss the Iron Throne.

How you read these visions depends on whether you see them as happening in the past, happening in the future, or never happening at all because they were tempting lies crafted to keep Daenerys locked in an imagined realm, forever away from her dragons.

If they spell out anything for the final season, it’s that winter has come to King’s Landing. Does that mean the army led by the Night’s King will make it that far south? Does it merely foretell of Jon and Daenerys bringing one of the undead to the capital? Is that ash falling in the cold destruction because dragons have rained down hell?

The only element that seems clear is that the Red Keep is headed for some hefty repair bills—that should serve an end fitting for a series finale. Saving Westeros will require its wreckage (either symbolic, physical, or both). After all, Daenerys wants to build a new government in the center of a new world. The vision of a razed Red Keep suggests she’ll succeed.

Taken as a whole, the visions also suggest that she’ll succeed by turning away from the throne, facing the White Walkers, embracing death’s reunion with her first loves, and then returning to save her young dragon. It’s possible that Jon Snow (nee Targaryen) is that young dragon who Daenerys must choose to save. If so, we may see her sacrifice her life for his (is his heart even still beating?), perhaps Nissa Nissa style, and then come back to life via Lord of Light magic.

In her darkest moment in the House of the Undying, Pyat Pree summons chains to bind her for eternity, but Daenerys commands her dragons to kill him with fire, which means that Jon Snow may very well save Daenerys in return.

The big question is whether she can claim the Iron Throne then, or at all. The visions seem to say that she’ll stop just short of seizing it, the thing she’s wanted more than anything, in order to achieve something else. All that snow on the throne is pretty suggestive, (!!!).

Still, it’s only a vision, and it’s not like they can’t build a second throne for a young aunt and nephew in love.

Of course, you could argue that almost all of this prophetic imagery has been satisfied already in season six. Daenerys has turned away from Drogo and her past life by venturing across the sea. She’s landed in Westeros (symbolized by the Red Keep) which has been torn apart by war and threatened by Winter. She’s turned away from the throne by refusing to take it by flaming force, she’s battled the undead, and she’s saved Jon Snow’s dumb ass along with the dirty dozen who got trapped at the frozen lake. That’s the fun of ambiguous prophecies, right?

Yet if we take the visions as what will ultimately take place in her quest to rule the Seven Kingdoms, they’re preparing us for a complicated, bittersweet conclusion with a lot of ice and fire.

WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON IN GAME OF THRONES?

Conleth Hill insists that Varys is not a merman.
Could Cersei become a Night Queen?
RIP Littlefinger, a real player in the Game of Thrones.

Images: HBO

Nerdist Comics Panel #115: Eisner 100th Birthday Event

Celebrating Will Eisner and comics in general with James Tynion IV (Detective Comics; The Woods), Ben Blacker & Ben Acker (Death Be Damned; Star Wars: Join The Resistance), Jackson Lanzing & Collin Kelly (Hacktivist; Batman & Robin Eternal), and Megan Hutchison (Rockstars; Will O’ the Wisp). Moderated by Julie Benson and Shawna Benson (The 100, Batgirl and The Birds of Prey).

Recorded at the Pasadena City Library on Saturday, March 11, 2017.

Follow @BenBlacker and @HeathCorson on Twitter!

Sizing Up RICK AND MORTY at Season Three’s Midpoint

We turned ourselves into a Rick and Morty pop culture talk show! We’re Nerdist News Talks Back: All Ricks Considered! But in addition to breaking down the darkest season of Adult Swim’s hit animated series, today’s panel also goes into the first teaser for Super Troopers 2, and whether we just got as close as we ever will to Half-Life 3.

“Cinnamon Challenge” victor and host Jessica Chobot was joined by Nerdist editor and Because Science‘s Kyle Hill, Nerdist News writer Joan Ford, and associate editor and Doctor Who expert Kyle Anderson. We’ll leave it up to you to decide if these four are as co-dependent as Rick and Morty.

The group discussed whether Morty is becoming the “new” Rick as he loses more and more of his empathy, or whether the Morty we saw in the last episode was just embracing his best and worst traits to survive. Find out what everyone thinks about the show’s most emotional season and where the show’s newest song ranks all time.

Also, what did everyone think about Super Troopers 2‘s first teaser? Did they even want a sequel? If not, what comedy franchises should get one instead? And will this be the first real success for Broken Lizard in years? Now that we think about it, has any comedy sequel ever been successful?

Finally, they broke down the fan fiction/possible Half-Life 3 story writer Mark Laidlaw posted to his website. Is this as much closure as the franchise will ever get? Would that be less disappointing than the game failing to live up to the massive expectations people have for it after all this time? If we’re never getting a new Half-Life, what other “Developmental Hell” game would they like to see?

Of course, if you ever want your questions answered on Nerdist News Talks Back, tune in live every weekday at 1:00p.m. PST on Nerdist’s YouTube and Alpha channels.

It’s the internet’s squanchiest interactive show.

But in the meantime, talk back to us with your thoughts on today’s topics by sharing them in the comments below.

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Featured Image: Adult Swim

Snooze Soundly with a Snorlax Bean Bag Chair

Most of us already find the notion of naps luxurious and enticing, but ThinkGeek‘s trying to make a midday snooze even more appealing with a new Pokémon bean bag chair. The best possible candidate for this pillow-y cushion of cute is Snorlax. When you curl up for a break, you won’t dream about trying to catch them all. No, you’ll only dream of catching… zzz.

Sorry, I’m awake now.

This cozy bean bag came to our attention thanks to Mashable. Since it’s over four feet tall and two feet wide, you’ll have plenty of room to stretch out for sleep, for a marathon video game session, or for epic TV bingeing. Of course, I also like ThinkGeek’s idea of having a Snorlax nap room:

Let’s start a “Get us a Snorlax bean bag chair!” petition for all the human resources departments in the world. Or, if we want to be more flexible, we’ll say we can accept any sort of Pokémon bean bag chair.

The Snorlax snooze pad is a ThinkGeek creation and exclusive. You can order the adorable not so little monster for your home (or workplace) at their website. And if you want to go full Snorlax, ThinkGeek has a matching pair of slippers. You know, just a FYI.

If you could take a nap with any Pokémon, which one would you choose? Share your pick in the comments.

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Images: ThinkGeek

Here’s Why That GAME OF THRONES Sex Scene Was So Vanilla

Editor’s note: Halt! This here post is dark and full of spoilers for season seven of Game of Thrones. If you’re not caught up, turn away and head back to the Citadel to complete your homework.

Fire and ice came together in a brand new way in “The Dragon and the Wolf.” After some subtle flirting and lots of intense and meaningful eye contact, Daenerys Targaryen and Jon Snow jumped into bed for a private planning session in the Game of Thrones finale. The most notable part about Dany and Jon’s sex scene was Tyrion creeping outside the door with an odd expression on his face–which is saying something. The episode’s director, Jeremy Podeswa, spoke with IndieWire about the scene (which we saw on Entertainment Weekly) and explained he wanted to focus more on the emotion than the actual sex.

So, the scene was vanilla on purpose. Podeswa didn’t want the scene to be at all “prurient.” Instead, he said, “It was shot very, very simply. It’s basically just one steady push in shot to Jon and Dany and then that very important look between them at mid-level. And then a one-shot looking at Jon, then looking down at Dany. It wasn’t about shooting a big lovemaking scene. Once they’re making love, that’s the story. There’s no reason to kind of linger on that.”

This approach probably meant Jonerys shippers were disappointed, but I get it. Even without the whole incest factor, a relationship between the duo is a questionable move–Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington agree with that sentiment. Between the Night King and Cersei, Westeros has serious problems ahead. I’m not saying Dany and Jon shouldn’t enjoy some extracurricular activities, but given their status and position, it’s a tricky situation. From the story point of view, the fact that they’re sharing a sex scene is enough. We don’t need to see the specifics, I guess.

What’s your take on Jon and Dany’s up close and personal time? Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Images: HBO, Tumblr/Black Panther Storm

Professional Clowns Are Blaming the IT Remake for Fewer Jobs

We are inching ever closer to the September 8 release of It, a new film based on one of the creepiest works in Stephen King‘s catalogue. However, while horror fans are excited to see the movie, those suffering from coulrophobia are not the only ones bummed to see Pennywise return to pop culture. Real life, professional, and staunchly non-evil clowns are also pretty upset Pennywise is rearing his disturbing head once again, and it turns out it is actually costing some professional clowns actual work.

As it was explained in The Hollywood Reporter, schools and libraries have cancelled professional clown appearances, and according to the World Clown Association (an actual organization) it’s all thanks to It. According to the WCA’s spokesperson Pam Moody, children are naturally wary of costumed characters, and parents forcing their kid to interact with a clown when they’re frightened can trigger coulrophobia. However, pop culture–and It specifically–have given rise to the “horror clown” rather than the totally normal doers of fun and good. #NotAllClowns

And while you have to be sympathetic to these real people who are just trying succeed at a job they love while hopefully bringing joy to kids’ lives, I don’t know that It is solely to blame for our cultural fear of clowns. After all, it’s absolutely creepy to see a grown person in ridiculous clothes, huge shoes, crazy hair, and garish face paint that exaggerates their facial expressions walk through your front door, right? Just like a row of porcelain dolls can send a shiver up your spine, a clown elicits that same instinct to run because it’s something that is human-adjacent, but just off enough to be hella creepy.

Pennywise definitely was not the first creepy clown. We’ve been scared of clowns for as long as clowns have been a thing. Edgar Allen Poe had a creepy jester in his short story The Hop Frog; Batman’s most famous villains, The Joker, is a creepy clown; there is an urban legend originating in the early 80s of phantom clowns luring children into vans; and let’s not forget real-life serial killer and clown, John Wayne Gacy. These all came well before It first hit bookstores. Because of this, Stephen King isn’t terribly sympathetic to the clowns’ plight.

The clowns are pissed at me. Sorry, most are great. BUT…kids have always been scared of clowns. Don’t kill the messengers for the message.

— Stephen King (@StephenKing) April 10, 2017

Ultimately, I think we can all agree that the moral of the story here is this: all clowns aren’t evil, but whatever age you are, they all are pretty damn creepy.

Do you have a fear of clowns? Do you think clowns get a bad rap? Tell us in the comments!

Feature Image: Warner Bros. 

Gif credit: Giphy, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert/Giphy

BLADE RUNNER 2036 Short Film Bridges the Gap Between the Sequel and the Original

It’s been 35 years since the original Blade Runner was in theaters, and the world depicted in that film has become a very different place by the time of Blade Runner 2049. The future isn’t what it used to be, but we’ll soon learn how and why the Replicants are still around three decades after Harrison Ford‘s Rick Deckard went underground. Collider has debuted Blade Runner 2036, a new short film that fills in some of the gaps between the first film and its sequel.

As explained by Blade Runner 2049 director Denis Villeneuve in the introduction for this video, he invited a few filmmakers to create three shorts that set the stage for his film. Blade Runner 2036: Nexus Dawn was directed by Luke Scott, and it reveals that Replicant technology was outlawed in the intervening years. That can’t be considered too much of a surprise, considering the Replicants of 2019 were able to elude conventional detection.

The short officially introduces Jared Leto‘s Niander Wallace, as he makes a personal request to repeal the anti-Replicant laws. In reality, Wallace had no intention of abiding by those rules, and he’s already created at least one new Replicant whom he describes as an “angel.”

Intriguingly, Wallace argues that the new Replicants are necessary for humanity’s survival in the off-world colonies, and he promises that his Replicants will never rebel and will only obey. But we’ve heard that promise before! And it never ends well.

The two remaining prequel short films will presumably be online before Blade Runner 2049 hits theaters on October 6.

What did you think about this short? Let us know in the comment section below!

Images: Warner Bros. Pictures

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8 Things You Missed in RICK AND MORTY’S ‘Rest and Ricklaxation’

The darkest season of Rick and Morty keeps getting darker! During last Sunday night’s episode, “Rest and Ricklaxation,” fans witnessed the birth of Rick and Morty’s toxic doubles, and the wildly hilarious battle between the Ricks over which versions would survive. But there was much more to this episode than just the surface, and today’s Nerdist News is squanching it all down to tell you what it means!

Join the only non-Cronenberged host from dimension C-137, Jessica Chobot, as she points out the eight things that you may have missed from Rick and Morty’s latest misadventure. The entire premise could have easily been lifted from one of Star Trek‘s many transporter accident episodes. But this episode took its movie references to an even higher level, with callbacks to Star Wars, American Psycho, Glengarry Glen Ross, Wolf of Wall Street, and Boiler Room. The Voltron reference was more overt, but we loved it!

This episode also paid homage to previous seasons of Rick and Morty, with the miniature power cells from season 2 and “The Days and Nights of Mrs. Pancakes” TV show that Summer was watching. But the biggest shock may have been non-toxic Morty’s transformation into an amoral prick. It seems that both Rick and Morty define their toxic traits differently. While Rick rid himself of any lingering personal attachment to Morty, it was Morty who disposed of his compassion along with his fear and self-loathing.

Jessica also played a much larger role in this episode as she helped Rick track down Morty. Jessica and Morty’s date may have been a disaster, but the implication is that even the darker version of Morty still cared for Jessica. Remember, Morty knew exactly why Jessica was calling him, and he conveniently forgot to hang up before Rick traced the call. Subconsciously, Morty must have wanted to be caught. And it’s probably no coincidence that Morty’s rebound from his crush on Jessica just happened to look a lot like Jessica herself.

What did you think of our “Rest and Ricklaxation” breakdown? Share your thoughts in the comment section below!

Images: Adult Swim

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Custom JUMANJI Game Board Looks Exactly Like the Film Version

Later this year, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle will bring moviegoers back into the realm of Jumanji. As much as we’re looking forward to seeing that, the first Jumanji film starring Robin Williams, and the original novel by Chris Van Allsburg will always have a special place in our hearts. Now, one fan has taken his love for Jumanji to the next level by creating a screen accurate replica of the board game as it appeared in the movie!

Within the story, the Jumanji game features this warning: “Adventurers beware: do not start until you intend to finish.” Steven Richter seemed to take that to heart in this timelapse video. Via Shropshire Star, Richter took seven months to complete this project, and that’s not counting the years he spent learning how to do it!

Richter is an immensely talented woodworker and sculptor, so it should be no surprise to learn that he does this for a living with Tom Spina Designs, a movie prop restoration company. “I’ve been working there for five years over which I’ve honed in my sculpting skills and picked up various other hobbies and skills.”

Richter is not selling his beautiful creation, but you can to buy the Jumanji game pieces and dice, as well as his cover casting for the game board. For more pictures of the Jumanji game, you can find Richter’s gallery here.

What did you think about this Jumanji custom board game? Share your thoughts below!

Images: Steven Richter