Chris Hardwick's Blog, page 1820
March 5, 2018
Will TERMINATOR 6 Revive the Franchise or Finally Kill It?
Arnold says he’ll soon be back with another Terminator movie, but do we really want a sixth movie in the franchise, or do we just prefer going back in time and rewatching the first two? We discussed it on today’s Nerdist News Talks Back, along with the latest from Marvel, our reaction to the new Mary Poppins teaser, and the new directors for Flashpoint.
Joining Jessica Chobot today was Nerdist News writer Aliza Pearl, producer Jesse Gill, and senior editor Dan Casey. They started with word we could get a new trailer this week for Avengers: Infinity War with the release of A Wrinkle in Time. With less than two months before it hits theaters is it too late for another one?
Arnold Schwarzenegger has confirmed Terminator 6 will begin filming this summer. Are we excited for this, or have the last few films in the franchise left us ready to move on? We also discuss whether we think Deadpool‘s Tim Miller is the right choice to direct it.
We got our first look at Emily Blunt as Mary Poppins last night, which is getting the coveted December release slot from Disney. Are we looking forward to Mary Poppins Returns? If you had to rank all Disney’s films, where would Mary Poppins land for you?
Finally, Flashpoint not only has a director finally, it has two, with John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein signing on officially. With their comedy backgrounds, we ponder whether they’re right people for the job.
Remember Nerdist News Talks Back airs live on our YouTube and Alpha channels Monday through Thursday at 1 p.m. PT, before we end the week with Nerdist News What the Fridays, our hour long pop culture recap that airs Fridays at 1 p.m. PT only at Alpha.
This means we’re always around to talk new a new Terminator movie with you whenever they release one. Even if we didn’t ask for it. We still want to hear from you on today’s show, so talk back to us about it in the comments below.
Images: TriStar Pictures, Disney
More of the latest entertainment news!
First look at Infinity War‘s Iron Spider armor.
How Wonder Woman 2‘s villain is changing the DCEU.
What the new characters mean for Stranger Things 3.
Join Us at the Nerdist House in Austin, TX for Pinball, Live Music, and More!
Grab your cowboy boots, pinball skills, and an empty stomach, because Nerdist is headed back to Austin, TX for SXSW! This week (Friday, March 9 – Sunday, March 11) we’ll be taking over the delightful Banger’s Sausage House and Beer Garden on Rainey Street again for games, live music, giveaways, and much, much more. Best of all, entrance is totally free and you don’t need a SXSW badge to enter.
This year, Nerdist House highlights include a high-score tournament on Star Wars, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Batman Stern pinball machines; a ton of live music including Geek & Sundry’s Jason Charles Miller and Dead Musical Capital, a macabre zombie marching band; custom alter ego silhouettes made on site; a Sunday brunch featuring a renegade brass band, and much, much more. Plus, Alpha members enjoy exclusive access to food and drinks all weekend on us! If you’re not an Alpha member yet, there’s still time to sign up for a free month and join the fun at SXSW.
Check out the full SXSW weekend lineup below, and let us know on Twitter using #NerdistHouse if you’ll be joining us so we can say hi!
Friday, March 9
12:00pm – 5:30pm Pinball tournament with Jack Danger
12:30pm – 2:45pm KP and The Boom Boom
8:00pm – 9:45pm Sour Bridges
10:15pm – 12:00am: Jason Charles Miller
Saturday, March 10:
12pm – 5:30pm Pinball tournament with Jack Danger
3:00pm – 4:45pm Tameca Jones
5:15pm – 7:00pm Jason Charles Miller
7:30pm – 9:30pm Dead Music Capital
10:15pm -12:00am Sip Sip
Sunday, March 11:
10am – 11:45am Jason Charles Miller
11:00am – 1:00pm Pinball tournament with Jack Danger
1:30pm Pinball tournament finals
12:30pm – 2:45pm The Minor Mishap Band
THE LAST JEDI Concept Designer Shares Art and Behind-The-Scenes Porg Photos
Like every chapter in the Star Wars saga before it, The Last Jedi was filled with an assortment of amazing creatures and aliens. But all of these new life forms came from a long and rigorous pre-production at Lucasfilm before getting their chance to appear in the final film.
Now ILM concept artist and designer Jake Lunt Davies is sharing many of the original creature concepts for the movie on his Instagram, from the very first sketches to the puppets used in the final film. And yes, this does of course include the porgs. Didn’t think he’d forget those precious little guys, did you??
Below you can see an early concept for the Thala-siren, which you might remember is the lumbering sea beast from which Luke Skywalker gets his daily helping of milk, straight from the source. You can also see on the puppets which were used on set in Skellig-Michael island. One thing this new trilogy of films has brought back to Star Wars is the use of practical effects, as seen by the giant puppet below.
A post shared by Jake Lunt Davies (@jakeluntdavies) on Feb 22, 2018 at 1:09am PST
A post shared by Jake Lunt Davies (@jakeluntdavies) on Feb 26, 2018 at 1:12am PST
The Canton Bight sequence in the casino was essentially this film’s version of the Mos Eisley cantina from A New Hope, with a huge abundance of new aliens introduced. But not all of these aliens made it into the final cut of the film, like this little cyclops guy down below; hopefully he shows up down the road somewhere:
A post shared by Jake Lunt Davies (@jakeluntdavies) on Mar 3, 2018 at 8:05am PST
It seems no one knows what to call the new First Order ball droids, even those who designed it! Is it BB-9E, or BB-H8? I guess 9E is it’s official name, but we all know what we are calling it when it’s not around.
BB-H8s looking at YOU!! Another TLJ design #bb9e #bbh8 #starwars #thelastjedi #conceptdesign #bb8
A post shared by Jake Lunt Davies (@jakeluntdavies) on Sep 2, 2017 at 2:15pm PDT
And, as promised, there are porgs. The little bird like creatures who lived on the island of Ahch-To were created by a mix of CGI and practical effects, and you can see some of the puppets used on Skellig Michael down below.
A post shared by Jake Lunt Davies (@jakeluntdavies) on Mar 4, 2018 at 9:00am PST
More Porg concept art from The Last Jedi. DON’T swipe if Porg injury might be upsetting
First Look at INFINITY WAR’s Iron Spider Confirms Key Feature
Warning: Potential spoilers ahead for Avengers: Infinity War are ahead. Continue at your own risk!
At the end of Spider-Man: Homecoming, Tony Stark offered Peter Parker a significant costume upgrade as part of permanent membership in the Avengers. While Peter turned down the opportunity, his Iron Spider suit is coming much faster than he expected. Avengers: Infinity War has moved its release date up a week, and new details have already been leaked that confirm some of the Iron Spider’s key features. Today’s Nerdist News is spinning a few webs to explain it all.
Join host and weaver of the Spider-verse, Jessica Chobot, as she takes a closer look at the Iron Spider armor. Tony Stark took Peter under his wing when they were both a part of the New Avengers just over a decade ago in Marvel’s comic book universe. Stark went on to create the Iron Spider armor, which gave Peter a few new options, including additional appendages. Thanks to a new toy leak, we know Infinity War‘s Iron Spider costume is also coming with a few extra legs of its own.
So, what’s the big deal about the Iron Spider suit having multiple legs? If the increased maneuverability isn’t enough for you, then how about the ability to use the armor’s internal cameras to give Peter even greater visibility from all directions? The Iron Spider costume also has internal web wings and even more bells and whistles that have yet to be revealed.
What do you think about the Iron Spider armor? Let us know in the comment section below!
Images: Marvel
More the latest entertainment news!
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Did Rebels change everything we know about Star Wars?
Avengers prelude comic revealed Infinity War‘s biggest threat.
Stunning WAY TO THE WOODS Trailer Gives Us All the Ghibli Feels
If the video game Way to the Woods wasn’t on your radar, it’s probably because its creator, Anthony Tan, is still a full-time high school student. Tan first showed off his project nearly three years ago, when it quickly earned a following online. He’s previously cited Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke as two of his primary influences, and the new trailer for the game definitely feels informed by those films.
Via Polygon, Way to the Woods has one of the most fascinating premises we’ve ever seen for a video game. The title puts players in control of a male deer (stag) and his young buck as they go on an otherworldly adventure through a post-apocalyptic wasteland. The game’s tagline is “all of the lights will guide you to the woods.” Judging from the way the stag’s antlers light up, there may be something supernatural in play as well.
The new trailer shows the deer exploring an abandoned mall and even sharing a conversation with a cat about the cat god who rules over a town. While it may sound like a joke, we actually see the cat god later in the trailer.
However, it’s not all beauty and wonder in this world. The trailer hints the stag and his child have enemies who will prey upon them. The haunting tone of the music and visuals make a strong first impression. Tan has signed with publisher Team17 to release Way to the Woods in 2019 for consoles and PC. If this footage is any indication of what we can expect from the finished game, then this could be something truly special.
What do you think about the first trailer for Way to the Woods? Let us know in the comment section below!
Images: SweetDawg
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See Studio Ghibli food in real life.
Tribute art for Hayao Miyazaki’s birthday.
Stardew Valley multiplayer beta is coming in spring.
READY PLAYER ONE Recreates 11 Classic Film Posters
If we’ve learned one thing from the internet’s reactions to teasers for Ready Player One it’s that the movie’s success depends on how it utilizes its many (many) pop culture Easter eggs. If done right they could end up creating an obsessively fun hunt for film-goers, but if handled clumsily it could have a worst landing than Humpty Dumpty. But no matter how you have felt about the trailers so far, we doubt anyone will find much fault with the new perfect posters for the movie, because they pay homage to some of our favorite films of all time.
The posters replace iconic characters from classic films with Ready Player One‘s OASIS avatars. These haven’t formally been released by Warner Bros. yet, they have only been spotted by fans out in the real world, making them maybe the best form of nostalgia for the film yet. Thanks to Imgur user RahulBhatia10 though we can see them now. They recreate famous movie posters from The Matrix, The Goonies, Lost Boys, The Iron Giant, Rambo, Risky Business, Back to the Future, Blade Runner, Bullitt, The Breakfast Club, and Beetlejuice.
At this point we all know far too well that nostalgia can just as easily sink a movie or TV show as make us fall in love with it, which is likely why some people have been skeptical about how Steven Spielberg will manage to successfully use so many reference in the movie. At some point they go from homage to lame. However if they end up feeling anywhere near as good as these posters look, this will be one memorable Easter egg hunt.
Which one of these posters is your favorite? What other classic poster would you love to see them recreate? Tell us in the comments below.
Featured Image: Warner Bros.
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View a Ready Player One poster.
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Hear LONELY ISLAND’s Rejected Oscar Song About Overlooked Blockbusters
We’re still upset The Lonely Island isn’t known as the The “Oscar-Winning” Lonely Island after they got robbed for The LEGO Movie song “Everything is Awesome” they co-wrote with Tegan and Sara. But that’s nothing compared to how bummed we are after learning they wrote an original song for this year’s Academy Awards that got rejected. Because not only is it a touching, sweeping homage to our favorite Hollywood blockbusters that never seem to get Oscar-recognition, it would have required a 200-million dollar budget to produce it.
The band said they were asked to write a song for this year’s show, but their track “Why Not Me?” about how beloved smash hits like Thor: Ragnarok, Wonder Woman, and IT was turned down “because it was ‘financially and logistically impossible.'” In fairness to ABC and the Academy, the storyboard video they made for it would seem to support that.
If this were any other band we would be skeptical they actually wrote this song for the Oscars, but it’s totally plausible for The Lonely Island. When it comes to it being too expensive to film, I don’t know, maybe they could have spent less on all those crystals to make the stage look like a geode. Then they would at least be The “Oscar-Composing” Lonely Island. After another year of Oscars disappointment, the guys must be asking “why not us?”
What do you think of this song? Should ABC have ponied up to make it happen? Chip in your thoughts to our comments section below.
Featured Image: The Lonely Island
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A new podcast all about film scores.
Bass guitar played in a nuclear power plant.
Weird Al’s Hamilton polka parody.
March 4, 2018
THE WALKING DEAD Reminded Us (Again) That Negan Is a Terrible Ruler
Warning: Spoilers are ahead for the season eight of The Walking Dead . Keep reading at your own risk.
This week’s episode, “The Lost and the Plunderers,” gives us a glimpse of life after Carl Grimes, and it seems pretty bleak. Carl represented a potential hope for the future, and while not every character in “Plunderers” cares that he’s gone, the episode still revolves around a feeling of inertia and hopelessness. It’s broken up into several short vignettes, with each focusing, in turn, on Michonne, Enid, Jadis, Rick, Simon, and Negan.
These shorts vary in effectiveness and emotional pull, but three in particular stand out. In one, we finally see Jadis break “character,” as Ezekiel did, after Simon and the Saviors suddenly massacre her people. Will Jadis grow as a character or is she doomed to die atop that trash compactor? Another segment features Rick calling Negan to tell him Carl is dead; Negan seems genuinely mournful at first, but the two fail to come to any sort of reconciliation. Finally, with all of Negan’s lieutenants dead or missing, and Alexandria and the Hilltop still openly rebelling, Simon confronts Negan about his methods: why even “save” people? Why is Negan so adamant that his system of government is the right way?
We see in “Plunderers” that Simon doesn’t have any better solution for establishing order than Negan does, but it’s worth exploring Negan’s belief system. How is Negan’s society supposed to work? Why does he think it works? And why does he even feel there needs to be a unified order?
In season seven we got a glimpse inside of Negan’s Sanctuary, a community that exists within a dusty old factory. It’s clear that the Sanctuary has a rigid hierarchy in place. There are the captured prisoners, whose job seems to be to “maintain” the walker yard outside; the workers, who live on the ground floor (literally, on the floor) of the factory and provide menial labor; the Saviors, who serve as both the military force and a sort of ruling class, being given their own rooms and special amenities; Negan’s harem of unwilling wives, who can move more freely within the Sanctuary than the workers, but who are indentured in their own way; and Negan himself, the despotic king.
We’re also told the Sanctuary functions under a point system. The prisoners and workers aim to gain Negan’s favor, and he gives them points that allow them to barter for goods and food. Laura tells Eugene in “Hostiles and Calamities” that the Saviors and wives are exempt from this and are given carte blanche. While ComicBook theorizes this makes Negan’s society a communist one, it’s more accurate to say it’s closer to an absolute monarchy, with his kingdom made up of the people he’s conquered. While the Saviors’ “I am Negan” slogan would imply a Communist-like structure, Negan was certainly not elected by the workers (and even some of the Saviors, in Dwight’s case); the distribution of goods is incredibly unequal and based on Negan’s whims; and Negan holds ultimate power to do what he likes, as we see when he throws their incredibly valuable doctor into the smelter.
The society is also intensely stratified; the workers sleep on cots in refugee-like conditions while Eugene plays video games up in his own room. It’s a system practically built to breed dissent. Negan doesn’t allow his “subjects” to thrive. Many of them are confined to live in a dark, dank warehouse (which is confusing, considering the apocalypse has opened up a considerable amount of free land). Trapped in a warehouse he overlooks, he can easily control the minutiae of their lives. How is that any better than just making a go for it out in the open?
Negan’s methodology looks increasingly more medieval when you look at how he deals with other towns like the Kingdom and Hilltop. Here the relationship mirrors more of a feudal system, with Negan demanding resources in exchange for what he claims is protection. This trade-off is incredibly unequal and baffling though, as we don’t see any Saviors stationed within the Kingdom or Hilltop’s walls. How is Negan supposed to protect them if they’re suddenly overrun? In season seven’s “Go Getters,” the Saviors show up at Hilltop to reiterate that they provide zombie-killing services, but this is after they themselves unleashed walkers into the town at night, and Maggie and Sasha had to deal with it. With their metal gates, Alexandria and the Kingdom also seemed unlikely to have to deal with random walkers getting in, so this system was only ever built to benefit Negan and his most fanatical Saviors. Negan is trying to impose a ruling class on people who quite literally don’t need or want it.
And then of course, on top of all that, Negan beats to death members of each group, and separates husbands from wives, as a way of keeping everyone in line. It’s a fantastically bad system, and Simon is right in questioning its merits (even though his conclusion is wrong).
Negan is, at the end the day, a colonizer and a conqueror, a despot and a tyrant. His entire system breeds insurgency, not loyalty; fear is a powerful motivator, but so is revenge. It’s perhaps unsurprising that finally realizing his system is terrible is what causes Rick to get the drop on him in the comics. We’ll have to see how it plays out between Rick and Negan in the show, but suffice to say, Negan is in the wrong here, and it’s only a matter of time.
Images: AMC
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Emily Blunt Flies in With the First Teaser For MARY POPPINS RETURNS
The winds have changed, and there’s a new Mary Poppins movie blowing into town a mere 54 years after Julie Andrews starred in the classic Disney original. This time, Emily Blunt is stepping into the titular role for Mary Poppins Returns, the first teaser trailer for which debuted during the Oscars. While the new footage is light on story details, we do witness Mary’s arrival from the clouds and her reunion with Jane and Michael Banks, who are now grown with children of their own. And if Mary’s trick with the mirror is any indication, then she’s still “practically perfect in every way.”
Hamilton‘s Lin-Manuel Miranda is costarring in the film as Jack, a lamplighter who is going to help Mary turn around the lives of the Banks family after they suffer a tragedy. And they won’t be alone. Meryl Streep is playing Mary’s eccentric cousin, Topsy, and Disney veteran Angela Lansbury is playing the Balloon Lady, a character from P.L. Travers’ original stories. Even original Mary Poppins star Dick Van Dyke is back for the sequel, but he won’t be playing Bert the chimney sweep. Instead, Van Dyke is portraying Mr. Dawes, Jr., the chairman of Fidelity Fiduciary Bank.
Mary Poppins Returns was directed by Rob Marshall, with Ben Whishaw, Emily Mortimer, Colin Firth, Pixie Davies, Joel Dawson, Nathanael Saleh, and Julie Walters in supporting roles. Disney will release the film on December 25.
What do you think about the first teaser for Mary Poppins Returns? A spoonful of sugar helps the comments go down in the most delightful way!
Images: Walt Disney Pictures
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2018 Academy Awards Live-Blog (Updated With All Winners)
It’s an exciting Oscar race this year, as we have some real skin in the game in terms of favorites. No longer do we have to hang our hat on an extreme longshot win for Deadpool; two of our faves are near-locks to win at least one award tonight, with Guillermo del Toro the Best Director Favorite for The Shape of Water, and Jordan Peele in the lead for Get Out‘s Best Original Screenplay. And while we’ve known since at least Galaxy Quest of the greatness that is Sam Rockwell, tonight may be the night Oscar acknowledges that fact too.
Sure, we have longshot picks as well — will Blade Runner 2049 pick up any awards for its visuals and soundscapes, for example? Will there be inappropriate jokes about the disgraced producer whose name rhymes with Larvae Finebean? Will the wrong envelope get opened again? (Probably, but as a deliberate gag, yes?) Can Dunkirk spark a 70mm revival where The Hateful 8 and The Master could not? Might we cry harder than Daniel Kaluuya?
Sit back, relax, and let us do all the reminding of who won. A year from now, you’ll want to look back at this to win at trivia night. Today, stay for the updates. We’ll let you know if anything important happens.
5 p.m. – Fake out intro saying “Celebrity Street Fights With Mario Lopez” will be preempted tonight. The intro is mixing vintage footage with new footage in black and white. Armie Hammer is described as being born when a witch put a spell on a Ken doll. Salma Hayek is sitting next to Amphibian Man from The Shape of Water.
Jimmy Kimmel is introduce in black and white, but then the screen rises and he’s in color. “This year when you hear your name called, don’t get up right away.” Says he chose not to do a comedy bit with the accountants last year, so they decided to do some comedy on their own. “Oscar is 90 years old, which means he’s probably at home watching Fox News.”
“Here’s how clueless Hollywood is about women: We made a movie called What Women Want, and it starred Mel Gibson.”
Kimmel touts #TimesUp and #MeToo, says it’s all about positivity, and we’re going to see a tribute to many inspirational movies tonight that all got crushed by Black Panther. “If you are a nominee tonight who isn’t making history, shame on you.” Goes off on Mark Wahlberg getting more money for All the Money in the World reshoots than Michelle Williams despite their having the same agent. “If we can’t trust agents, who can we trust?”
“We don’t make movies like Call Me By Your Name to make money. We make them to upset Mike Pence.” Asks Christopher Plummer how Lin-Manuel Miranda compares to the real Alexander Hamilton. Kimmel encourages nominess to speak out on issues if they win, encouraging people to march with the high school students if they choose, or just thank family; it’s their platform. But the person who gives the shortest speech will win a new jet-ski. In the unlikely event of a tie, it’s going to Christopher Plummer.
Before Best Supporting Actor, a montage of previous winners. Viola Davis to present, coming out to the Austin Powers theme for some reason.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR – Sam Rockwell, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
“I’d like to thank the Academy – never thought I’d say those words.” Recalls his dad getting home out of school saying something happened to his grandma, then revealing they were actually going to the movies instead. Thanks everyone involved with Three Billboards, and “anyone who’s ever looked at a billboard.” Dedicated his win to Phil[ip Seymour] Hoffman.
Kimmel says if your speech runs over this year, there won’t be music but “this”–and Lakeith Stanfield comes running out in costume yelling “Get out! Get out!”
BEST HAIR AND MAKEUP – Darkest Hour. No surprise; the rare old-age makeup that was totally convincing and always on-camera. First winners to thank their cats.
Eva Marie Saint comes out, preceded by an On the Waterfront clip. Standing O. She looks and sounds great for someone “older than the Academy.” She lost her husband last year; says that applause makes up for it and she knows he can hear it.
BEST COSTUME DESIGN – Phantom Thread. A bit of a surprise, but the movie is all about costumes, after all.
Kimmel says since the show started, Black Panther has made another$48 million. Cut to Chadwick Boseman rubbing his hands with glee. Laura Dern and Greta Gerwig introduce documentary nominees with the expected plea for the importance of fact and truth.
BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE – Icarus. Statement against Vladimir Putin? Affirmation of Russian ban in the Olympics? Directors say they hope their movie is a wakeup call not just about Russia, but also about telling the truth. Kimmel: “Now at least we know Putin didn’t rig this.”
Taraji P. Henson introduces Mary J. Blige’s song nominee from Mudbound. Blige starts solo against a backdrop of clouds; joined by a choir as the back projection turns into the Mudbound shack during a rainy day, until finally at the end the sun shines through. Use of back-projection A+.
A montage mixing footage of science fiction and movies about making movies is here to make a point about imagination. It segues into more classic films, many of them genre, then Roger Ebert talking about empathy, then lots of lines about hope, freedom, and empathy. Ah, it’s a 90-year anniversary montage. 90 years of dreams. Ends by thanking audiences for going to the movies (can you thank us by making tickets a bit cheaper?).
Kimmel says he’s about to read the first joke ever made at the Oscars, 90 years ago: “Christopher Plummer is tonight’s youngest nominee.”
BEST SOUND EDITING – Dunkirk. A well-edited movie all-around.
BEST SOUND MIXING – Dunkirk. For excellence in immersive combat.
Kimmel goes into the audience, asks Steven Spielberg if he has any pot.
Lupita Nyong’o and Kumail Nanjiani make jokes about people having trouble pronouncing their names. Kumail says his real name is Chris Pine, but he’s not allowed to use it. They tout their status as immigrants, and say like everyone in the room, they’re dreamers — dreams are the foundation of Hollywood. “And so to all the dreamers out there, we stand with you” – Kumail.
BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN – The Shape of Water.
Euginio Derbez introduces a performance of “Remember Me” from Coco. After a modest first verse, the backdrop opens up for a brightly lit Dia de los Muertos palace, staircase, and Flamenco dancers.
The costume designer from Phantom Thread is in the lead for shortest speech with 36 seconds. Kimmel’s now adding to the prize with a Lake Havasu vacation, where the jet-ski can also be used.
Rita Moreno is also looking and sounding great, presenting Best Foreign Language.
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM – A Fantastic Woman. From Chile. Not sure many people had that one in their pool, but if you did, you just shot ahead.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS – Allison Janney, I Tonya. Tough, tough competition in this field. No doubt she was good, but so were all of them. She jokes “I did it all by myself!” then confirms she means nothing could be further from the truth. Thanks all her coworkers, and Joanne Woodward for helping her believe in herself. However, we do not get to say “Never thought I’d see Tonya Harding thanked at the Oscars,” because she was not mentioned this time.
The Star Wars cast is about to come out, so Kimmel wishes his 9 year-old self could be there. A boy comes out and claims to be exactly that, chastising his older self for looking 60 and being in bad shape. Older Kimmel tells him to shut up and read the prompter, because he knows where the magazines are hidden.
Mark Hamill jokes about a Jedi pension plan. BB-8 complains he’s not in a tuxedo like the rest of them. Kelly Marie Tran says it’s sensitive: nobody would dress him.
BEST ANIMATED SHORT – Dear Basketball. Kobe Bryant wins an Oscar! He says as a basketball player he’s supposed to shut up and dribble, but tonight he can do more than that, and thanks his family.
BB-8 beeps. Tran asks how Oscar Isaac can understand him; Isaac says he’s speaking Yiddish. Tran asks how he knows they’re meant to present two awards, and Hamill says he’s the only one who came to rehearsal.
BEST ANIMATED FEATURE – Coco. Filmmakers thank their spouses, two of whom are same-sex. “Marginalized people deserve to feel like they belong. Representation matters.”
Daniela Vega introduces Sufjan Stevens’ song from Call Me By Your Name. As befits the movie, a much more modest performance.
BEST VISUAL EFFECTS – Blade Runner 2049. It won one! CGI Sean Young beats out two different CGI Andy Serkises.
Matthew McConaughey talks about how movies are an illusion and a magic trick. He sounds like he’s never thought about how movies were made ever before. Or that he tapped his Dallas Buyer’s Club stash.
BEST EDITING – Dunkirk. No surprise. Three storylines and time-cheats made coherent is an obvious win.
“And back to a windowless room full of Avids he goes” – Kimmel. Transitions into thanking the moviegoing public. Has a hidden camera in the Chinese Theater, where a recruited audience is watching a sneak preview of A Wrinkle in Time, and now he’s rounding up a posse to go thank them in person. Emily Blunt, Mark Hamill, Gal Gadot, Guillermo del Toro, Margot Robbie are among the group he gets together. Commercial break while they walk over. Seems de rigeur every year now to do at least one stunt that surprises the general public, a.k.a. Hollywood tourists.
Ansel Elgort and Armie Hammer have hot dog cannons. They’re going to stop the movie in the middle! Sorry Ava! Hope they’re only pausing it. And now I really want a hot dog cannon. Those things are cool.
Kimmel brings up a bearded audience member named Mike Young to introduce the next Oscar presenters: Tiffany Haddish (whose name he fumbles) and Maya Rudolph. They complain about their feet in the fancy shoes, and tell the audience not to worry, that more white people will be out soon.
BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT – Heaven Is a Traffic Jam on the 405. A title every Angeleno must only assume is ironic somehow.
Rudolph compliments Haddish’s urination scene in Girl’s Trip; she reciprocates by complimenting the defecation scene in Bridesmaids.
BEST LIVE-ACTION SHORT – The Silent Child. Short film about deafness, so the acceptance speech is signed as well as spoken, with a plea for awareness despite the fact that deafness isn’t life-threatening.
Dave Chappelle is here! “Thank you for that smattering of applause.” Here to introduce the song from Marshall. Jokes that you never see someone in a fancy car who says they made a killing in activism. Common gives a new intro, full of current events references, to the NRA (“in God’s way”), Parkland, Puerto Rico, and immigration, among others. He adds more off-the-cuff lyrics throughout, telling the crowd to stand up for what they believe in. This may be the first Oscars where people are being encouraged to speak more politically than they planned to.
The#TimesUp moment, with Ashley Judd, Salma Hayek, and Annabella Sciorra touting inclusion, intersectionality, diversity. It leads into a video that kicks off with Mira Sorvino, Lee Daniels, Dee Rees and more touting their diverse offerings this year. Kumail Nanjiani says it won’t be that hard to relate to people who don’t look like you; “I’ve done it my whole life.” Mentions wife Emily V. Gordon’s idea to start a website called “Muslims having fun” because she gets to see that and most of America doesn’t. Geena Davis remembers how Thelma and Louise didn’t change the game as it should have. Ends with Greta Gerwig telling everyone to just go make a movie, on their phones if need be.
T’Challa and Harley Quinn now out to present for screenplay.
BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY – Call Me By Your Name. James Ivory thanks all his colleagues who are no longer with us, and says by honoring him you’re honoring them.
BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY – Get Out. We can’t really say “get out!” in response, because this was expected and hoped for. Jordan Peele begins by telling the crowd to be quiet because they’ll mess up his jet ski win. Dedicates his award to everyone who helped to raise his voice. And everyone who bought a ticket or told somebody to buy one.
Wes Studi as a presenter! (Sagat forever!) Mentions his service in the National Guard and Vietnam, and says that as a veteran, he appreciates movies about people who have been in the service. It’s an introduction to a montage of war movie honorees, and he does it in both English and Cherokee.
Kimmel apologizes to the troops afterward for the inclusion of Matt Damon in that montage.
Sandra Bullock is introduced as the star of Speed, Gravity, and Crash, which Kimmel says are three reasons never to get in a plane with Harrison Ford. She asks for the lights to be lowered so she can look 35 again. “Here are the four men and the one trailblazing woman who are nominated for achievement in cinematography.”
BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY – Blade Runner 2049. Yes, Roger Deakins finally gets it after 14 nominations. Says he’d better say something or else they’ll give him a jet ski, and he doesn’t want one.
Zendaya introduces the Greatest Showman song, “This Is Me, ” by Keala Settle. And it’s following the pattern: just Settle in the dark, then a big reveal of the choir and band behind her.
Christopher Walken gets an intro with a clip from The Deer Hunter. He’s wearing a regular tie — not a tux — and loosely. Goes straight to the nominees for score.
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE – The Shape of Water. Perennial winner Alexandre Desplat congratulates his mother for also being 90, and dedicates the win to his daughters.
Emily Blunt and Lin-Manuel Miranda are going to give that Mary Poppins seal of approval to the best song.
BEST ORIGINAL SONG – “Remember Me” from Coco. Same writers as “Let It Go.”
Jennifer Garner is here! Let’s get her back in more movies. And she’s here to introduce the death reel, with Eddie Vedder singing Tom Petty’s “Room at the Top.” Ah dammit, we’re gonna cry, aren’t we?
Emma Stone, to present for directing: “These four men, and Greta Gerwig…”
BEST DIRECTOR – Guillermo del Toro! The Shape of Water. Nothing “fishy” about this win, except everything in the movie, of course. He talks about loving to live all over the place, and we should erase lines in the sand instead of making them deeper. But of all the places he’s lived, he likes to live at Fox Searchlight the best because they greenlit this crazy movie.
A historical Best Actor montage brings us back from commercial. And Jane Fonda and Helen Mirren are presenting. Fonda compares the sets to the Orgasmatron in Barbarella., and makes a pitch for unity by saying everyone can be mesmerized by a great performance.
BEST ACTOR – Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour. Think we all called that one. Only his second nomination. He thanks America for the wonderful gifts it has given him: his home, his family, his friends…and now his Oscar. He tells director Joe Wright it only took them 20 years to work together, but it was worth the wait. Close by saluting Sir Winston Churchill for being a marvelous companion, and his wife for being at his side. Obviously, he notes, he won’t win the jet ski, so he congratulates his mother, who is about to turn 99, and thanks her for her love and support. “Put the kettle on, I’m bringing Oscar!”
A Best Actress montage follows right away, and includes likely winner Frances McDormand. Jodie Foster (on crutches) and Jennifer Lawrence are presenting.
Lawrence: “What happened to you?”
Foster: “Streep. She I, Tonya‘ed me.”
BEST ACTRESS – Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Ya, you bet’cha. McDormand says that if she falls over, somebody pick her up because she has something to say. Thanks her husband and son for being well-raised by their feminist mothers. She invites all the female nominees in the room to stand up with her, then says everyone in the room needs to talk to these ladies about projects — not at the parties tonight but in their offices during business hours. Ends by saying she has two words for us: “inclusion rider.”
Kimmel: “This is the home stretch. nothing could possibly go wrong from here on.” Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway are out again for a do-over. Beatty: “It’s so nice seeing you again.” Dunaway: “As they say, presenting is lovelier the second time around.”
BEST PICTURE – The Shape of Water. Del Toro double-checks the envelope just to be sure. He says Spielberg told him that if you win and get up to the podium, remember that you’re part of a legacy. Says anyone who thinks you can use genre-fantasy to talk about real issues…you can. Kick down the door.
And finally, Helen Mirren comes out on the jet ski to present it to the winner: Phantom Thread‘s costume designer.
Fantasy won for the first time since Return of the King, y’all. Now go watch The Walking Dead.
What do you think of the show and winners so far? Comment below to add your thoughts and snaps.
Images: Flickr/David Ortmann, Fox Searchlight, Dreamworks, Focus Features, Marvel Studios, Warner Bros., Universal, Comedy Central, ABC
How we reviewed them the first time around:
The Shape of Water.
Get Out.
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri.
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