Bradley Convissar's Blog, page 10

Grey's Anatomy vs. Porn

[image error]I am sad to admit it, but I have sat through an episode or two or Grey's Anatomy.  I'm loathed to admit it, actually, because no straight male should ever be subjected to such… trash.   Between this program, and the even worse Private Practice, we get a glimpse at some of the most ridiculous story lines ever.  I mean, the writers must scour every 3rd world nation for their absurd, and oftentimes disturbing, medical cases.  And then consult the daytime soaps for plots (if we can call them that) to connect it all into one giant unwatchable mess.  I used to think that ER was too formulaic, but it doesn't come to close to ABC's Thursday night lineup.  And soon, lucky us, the two 'medical' dramas will be joined at 8:00 by a new law program, The Deep End, which appears to follow the same formula:

Outlandish cases + attractive men and women + plot threads that have everyone sleeping with everyone else = something women will watch.

I wonder if my wife will tune in.  If so, i guess I lose her for the entirety of Thursday evening.  But I can use some good old video game and comic book time.

Now why bring any of this up?  Just to make this final point, I guess:

I've seen better acting in 'made for the web" pornography than in Grey's
I've seen better, more cohesive, plots in the same made for the web pornography
I've seen more disturbing sex scenes on Gray's Anatomy than in professional porn
I've actually felt dirtier watching Gray's Anatomy than pornography

So the question is, why do women get so uptight and offended when men watch porn while they are allowed to watch such crap with little or no embarrassment?

That's it.  Just had to get my thoughts out.  Time to go watch some porn.

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Technorati Tags: Gray's Anatomy, porn, relationships, TV

Dogs Are People, Too

[image error]Guess what my father and my dog have in common?  If you said that they are both alcoholics, well, you're close. 

If you said they both have back problems, you would be closer.  After all, Friday is a daschund and my father is a dentist, both of which are prone to back issues.

But if you said they are both diabetic, well then, give yourself a pat on the back because you win the Kewpie doll. 

Less than a month after needing to have one of my dog's teeth extracted, he stopped eating and started drinking alot.  And peeing.  Alot.  He was always a little overweight, but we managed to get him down to a healthier weight recently.  But he was suddenly looking a little toothin.  Ribs too prominent.  Waist too narrow.  I can think of several women in my life who would love to shed four pounds in less than a month, but this is definitely not healthy for a dog who spends most of his life sleeping and gnawing on bones.

So, having our suspicions, we took the dog to the vet where they did some blood tests, and they came back with a diagnosis of canine diabetes.  After doing some research ourselves the night before, this basically confirmed our suspicions.

Freaking diabetes.  In a five and a half year old dog.

I know how much the vet bill is, and while not astronomical, its significant.  But I can't even imagine the cost of the soon to be needed daily insulin injections.  Or the cost for weekly or bi-weekly blood sugar tests at the vet.  But it is what it is. (My wife hates it when I use that expression)

Someone at work asked me what I was going to do.  I looked at her strangely.  But I guess that's the mindset of someone who doesn't own a dog.  What am I going to do?  Try to give him away (because there is a waiting  list for diabetic dogs)?  Put him to sleep?  Not get him the medication he needs?

The dog is almost 6.  My children are 2 1/2 and 6 months old.  He's part of the family.  And we treat him like part of the family.  He's been around twice as long as either of the kids.  Now, if his back gave out and he was borderline crippled, well, that's another story.  That's a quality of life issue.  But he's sick, and can be treated with meds, so that's what we'll do.

Its this part of pet ownership I don't think a lot of people understand.  You have kids coming out of college or grad school and living in their own house or apartment for the first time and they suddenly have the desire to have a dog.  But its not that easy, and I don't think enough people truly understand the responsibility of owning a dog.  It's more than feeding them and walking them and putting a house of their head and playing with them.   It's being aware that, like children, like adults, like people, dogs get hurt.  They get sick.  They get diseases.  And you must, as a potential pet owner, understand the financial toll of having a sick animal before you own one.

A dog isn't a fish or a hamster.  He's your friend.  Your strange adopted child.  And when you own one, you better be prepared, and willing, to do everything and anything required to maintain his health.  If not, you should probably get a fish instead.  That, at least, can be flushed down the toilet.

My dog has diabetes.  Maybe he will get better.  Maybe he won't.  But I love him, and if I have to sacrifice so that he is healthy and happy, then that's what I will do.

Because that's the price of being a dog owner.

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Technorati Tags: canine diabetes, daschund, diabetes, dogs, pets, vet, weiner dogs

Top 5 Inappropriate Spongebob Episodes

[image error]Of course, on the surface, Spongebob appears to be a cartoon designed for the 6-12 year old crowd.  The colors, the funny aquatic creatures, the underwater squirrel, the quirky music.  But anyone who has watched SB knows that, in general, this cartoon is more appropriate for the under 5 crowd, who are too young to understand the crude humor, and the high school and college crowd, who have created many a drinking game around Spongebob.  But for the impressionable 6-12 year group… this cartoon  can thrust many a bad lessons upon them.  And here they are, in my esteemed estimation, the top 5 inappropriate Spongebob episodes for impressionable children:

5.  Pest of the West-  This episode is just awful all around, and there is a reason why Atlantis Squarepantis and Dunces and Dragons and Where's Gary are shown all the time while Pest of the West stays locked in the vault.  The story is awful and the dialogue is offensive.  I haven't seen it in a while, but I remember being really turned off by the constant use of the word "stupid" and how SB constantly offended Patrick.  The lessons on how to treat friends in this episode are horrible, and thankly, second chances at viewing it are few and far between.  EVERYONE should avoid this episode, not just the 6-12 year old crowd

4.  Bubble Buddy-  This episode features Spongebob as a killer.  He buries some poor guy up to his neck in the sand during high tide, and at the end of the episode, we see the dead fish's angel going up to Heaven.  I mean, this is just wrong

3.  Frankendoodle-  Just like cartoons and shows that show monsters lurking in the closet and under the bed, striking fear into the heart of young children, this episode is just plain scary.  And kids these days already don't want to do  anything creative or artistic.  All they want to do is veg and play video games and watch TV.  So this episode, which features an innocent drawing turned into a blood thirsty monster look to erase Spongebob,  may be too much for children to handle.  The last thing we need is children afraid to even pick up a pencil

2.  #1 Fan- Mr Krabs digging up a corpse just to get a hat back.  Not only do we have grave robbing in this episode, we have zombie fish erupting from the ground and assaulting Mr Krabs.  As a child, there was nothing scarier that the walking dead.  After seeing the Thriller video, my insides knotted up every time we would pass a cemetery in the car, and I could just imagine the rotting corpses erupting from the dirt to hunt me down.  Now, this episode is not as bad as Thriller but still… grave robbing, zombie fish… not a good episode for children

1.  And finally, the most inappropriate SB episode for children… Nasty Patty.  Could there be any other?  I mean, Krabs and SB spend the entire episode trying to bury the health inspector, whom they think they killed.  Just awful.  Don't get me wrong, its a good episode… if your fourteen or over.  But for the youngest viewers, it is nightmare inducing.

Let me know what you think below.  And don't forget to check out my other Top 5 SB lists

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Technorati Tags: Cartoons, Lists, Nick, reviews, SB, Sponge Bob, Spongebob, Squarepants

Star Wars Legacy of the Force Review and Impressions

[image error]WARNING: Spoilers below.  Sorry, can't be helped.  But while I will ruin some of the surprises, I will not reveal the ultimate ending. 

Star Wars: Legacy of the Force is a nine part series set several years after the last major trilogy, New Jedi Order.  It is written by three authors, each penning three of the novels.  The authors include, in no particular order, Aaron Allston, Karen Traviss and Troy Denning.  Denning is the most well known, having written many Forgotten Realms trilogies for TSR, now Wizards of the Coast.

This story line, to be blunt, shows the transformation of Jacen Solo from a mere foot soldier in the new Galactic Alliance, into a new Emperor.  This story can not be read in a vacuum; to fully understand the characters and their motives, you must be familiar with the events of both the New Jedi Order story as well as the Dark Nest trilogy.  Jacen's actions and transformations are directly related to his experiences in these novels.

First off, it needs to be said, that this story was a little too long.  I think seven books would have been perfect (though, with three authors, each needed to be given an equal number of books, and six would have been too short, unless each was expanded 50 to 100 pages).  Anyway… I'm not going to judge whether the story was good or not.  This is not a stand alone story.  It exists within the framework of the expanded Star Wars Universe, and is an integral part of the mythology.  Its not a single, off-shoot story that can be easily judged based on its relevance and execution.  This story defines the characters and their futures, and as such, in my mind, simply exists.  now, their are elements to the story I liked, and others I loathed, but the series does follow the natural progression and evolution of the characters and the universe.

I'll tell you one thing I really disliked and felt slowed the story to a crawl at some point: Boba Fett.  We all love the Fett from the movies.  But each of Karen Traviss' novels dedicates half of the pages to Fett, his family, his home life, his home plant, and his status as the leader of the Mandalorean people.  It's interesting, I guess, fleshing out the character from mere mercenary to an actual, dynamic character, but it was too much.  Now understand, Fett plays an integral role in the end game of the story, and his back story and the associated characters to play a major role, but i felt it was too much.  I felt that the same results could have been achieved through different means with a more satisfying experience.  Whether or not focusing on Fett was Traviss' idea, or the idea of the braintrust behind the expanded universe, i don't know.  But what I do know is that too much time was focused on Fett.  Don't get me wrong, some people may like this.  or love this.  Because Fett is a beloved character in the Star Wars Universe.  But I felt that it lengthened the story too much, causing it bog down too much at times.

A second issue of mine was the villain in the books.  We have Alema Rar, a Twi'lik Jedi driven insane during the Dark Nest Trilogy, and Luminya, another Jedi from Luke's past.  Both play integral roles in the story, but quite frankly, neither of them are that interesting or compelling  characters.  The only villain worth the ink is Jacen Skywalker.

What did I like?  We get to see the deaths of many major characters (I won't ruin this for you), many Jedi battles, plot intrigues, and a lot of suspense.  We see the return of the Imperial Remnant and Admiral Daala.  And we get the slow, deliberate transformation of Jacen Solo into Darth Caedus.

The story of Jacen Solo is not original.  But what is these days?  We start with a man who wants to help the Alliance as it deals with the defection of Corellia and several other major planets.  We see a man who begins his quest with good intentions before being sucked into the Sith philosophy.  And like so many men in history and literature, the innocent desire to do good for the sake of all gets twisted into a philosophy of the means justifying the ends.  And over the course of the series, Jacen slowly grabs for power, doing horrible things in the same of the greater good.  He kills a terrorist during an interrogation.  He subverts Ben Skywalker.  He orders his parents killed.  He goes after Luke.  He kills a lot of innocent people.  He sacrifices his own fleet for nothing more than pride.  And, by the end, he is willing to do the same acts that Palpatine did, supposedly for the greater good. 

Watching Jacen's fall from grace is a sobering peek into the minds of men who think they know better than everyone else what's best for them.  At the beginning, you can sympathize with Jacen, with his actions, with his reasoning.  He is the most  tragic of figures, and the seeds of his rise and subsequent fall are evident early on.  The authors show us step-by-step how Jacen is drawn to the dark side and how he slowly becomes the monster he ends up being.  As a reader, its intriguing to look at the slippery slope Jacen finds himself on and wondering, on a personal level, how far we would go as individuals to achieve his goals.

This is a different type of series from New Jedi Order, in that NJO was several smaller, sometimes independent stories, woven together to form the larger tapestry of the Yuuzhan Vong War, and each individual trilogy or duology or stand alone book could be judged on how well it integrated with the larger story.  But this series is a single cohesive story and can't be jugded by the same standards.  And again, that's why I will not judge it on the merits of the meat of the story.  But in conclusion, I will say that I believe that same story could have been delivered in a shorter, more cohesive story where Fett, as well as other chaff, could have been minimized.  But in the end it was a good, thought sometimes very predictable and slow, expansion of the Star Wars Universe.  And like with any good story,  for every conflict that was solved another was created,  setting us up for the next intriguing chapter in the expanded Universe.

If you have any comments or more specific questions, feel free to comment.

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Technorati Tags: Allston, Darth Caedus, Denning, Expanded Universe, Jacen Solo, Jedi, Legacy of the Force, Luke Skywalker, New Jedi Order, Sith, Star Wars, Traviss, Yuuzhan Vong

The Truth About Wiener Dogs

[image error]Ahh, Daschunds, the lovable, goofy, just plain bizarre-looking wiener dog.

My wife and I adopted a wiener-pup over five years ago. We were told he was a tweenie, not quite a mini, up to 7 pounds, but not a massive standard dog, either. But the breeder was wrong. Our dog Friday is a beast.

To read the whole post and see some adorable pictures of Friday through th years, click over to the Lighter Side.

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Technorati Tags: Children, Daschunds, dogs, wiener dogs

Meth Mouth

Someone recently asked me if you could tell if someone had a crystal meth habit by looking at their teeth.  And the answer is a resounding: Hell yeah!  Just like you can tell if someone is bulimia (pitting of the enamel on the back of the teeth).  Or if they smoke (thick generalized stain).  The teeth offer a lot of clues to a person's habits.  Below is a classic example of Meth Mouth.  This is actually the least disgusting picture I could find:

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Why do the teeth end up like this?  Five reasons:

Obviously the Meth itself eats away the teeth.  This is the major cause of the break down


The craving for sweet food, which in turn eats away at the soft dentin inside


The lack of proper home care being high causes


decrease in salivary flow, which helps to neutralize acid and kill bacteria in the mouth


The lack of professional cleanings due to lack of caring about one's appearance

Yes, I have seen it on several occasions.  It is a very obvious, affecting every tooth in the mouth.  The only other thing that even compares to this is baby bottle cavities found in children who drink a lot of milk during the day and are put to bed with a bottle.  Obviously that is NOT as serious in the long run because baby teeth fall out, but there are still issues.

Once Meth Mouth prgoresses this far, there is little to do but extract the teeth and make a denture.

So there you are.  Just like severely stained teeth can point to a tobacco habit (though tea, coffee and wine can also lead to stain), teeth that are dissolved to the gumline is a telltale sign of someone who smokes Meth.

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Technorati Tags: crystal meth, drugs, Meth, methamphetamine, oral hygiene, teeth