Dayna Ingram's Blog, page 5

Being an adult is kind of weird.

I'm nearly 26 and doing things like budgeting my grocery list and switching car insurance providers and paying rent and washing my own butt still feels weird, like someone else should still be taking care of these things for me. Some weeks ago, I fixed a red flag on my credit report and got really excited, like super triumphant, like Take that, The Man! And it became like my best story for an entire week, and I would tell everyone as if I'd just taken down a cyclops with merely my wit and a rock. At some point I realized this was the most boring shit ever to be excited about, but it made me no less excited. I just felt weird about feeling excited. Kids are always all like, Oh man it's not fair I want to be older so I can drive and eat cookies for dinner and stay up all night and get an STD. And sure, those things are great, but no one really warns you about the bills, and the making-your-own-doctors-appointments, and the bills, and the 40 hour work week, and the bills, and all the list-making, and the bills, and the Ambien. I think if someone did warn me as a kid, though, I'd still be like, "Fuck you, Pops, you just don't want me to live my own life! I have my own life, Pops, I want to LIVE!" Then Pops, if he was smart, or a smart-ass, would toss a pen and a checkbook at my pimply face and be like, "Start living."

Anyway, I have to deal with some car insurance stuff today, and get an oil change, and go grocery shopping. But before I do that, I want to spout off here for awhile, and tell you all about how much time I have been spending on Goodreads. Man, what a time-suck. I really like informally reviewing books because it's like thrusting my opinion on the world, but in kind of a benign way that I don't have to feel guilty about. I also like reading other people's reviews. Some people get really into it, and that always makes me happy, because people being into books is kind of a huge turn-on, amiright? I also find some cool titles to check out which I will read some day if they come into the bookstore or if I get less cheap and spring for them on Amazon.

Speaking of books to read, I am currently seeking some recommendations for: zombie fiction written by women, and/or sci-fi/fantasy fiction involving major lesbian or bisexual characters (they don't have to be, like, major lesbians, but they have to be major characters, like have a lot to do with the overall story). I found this cool site the other day that lists sci-fi books featuring lesbians/bi characters, so that's awesome. Anyway, help a sister out.

In my own writing news, there is none. I'm patiently waiting on my free bound copy of EAT YOUR HEART OUT (provided by Createspace as a spoil of winning the NaNoWriMo war), and then I will probably order some more to give to friends as gifts, but I can't make it available to the public until I figure out the laws regarding fictional depictions of real people, namely celebrities. Also, I might write a short story today or tomorrow. I haven't decided yet. But I am reading this amazing book of short stories, Jenny and the Jaws of Life, that is really inspiring, so who knows.


Anyway, go read some things. Happy New Year!

Eat Your Heart Out

I made a cover, just for funsies:




Clip art courtesy: www.wpclipart.com

The Dead Shall Rise...

....And Eat Your Brains! And then vomit them up! In the form of words! How many words? Fifty thousand words, bitches!

Needless to say, I finished NaNoWriMo on time and won the sweet, sweet prize of personal gratification (and bragging rights). The story itself has not quite round down yet, but it only needs like 10 to 20 pages to get there. Pages I will work on next week, once school is officially over for winter break.

Speaking of school, I have to write an essay for my character-building class about my own "rules for writers" when it comes to writing fiction. I haven't had to write a final in so long that I was complaining about this to a friend and she was like, "How long does it have to be?" And I was like, "Five pages." And she was like, "Um." Then I was like, "And I only have to use examples from my own work." And she was like, "....." And then she slapped me.

Anyway, this post was just to assure everyone that I did make it to 50k (though it was looking pretty grim in that final 24-hours, staring down the barrel of 10k words), thanks to copious amounts of junk food, my boss giving me the 30th off, my lovely long-distance writer pals, and lesbians. (Who should be thanked for all things, really.)

I leave you with some NOVEL FACTS:

Title: Eat Your Heart Out

Chapter Titles: All's Dead That Ends Dead; Eat You? I Hardly Know You; The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Dead; A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two if You're Dead; Dead if You Do, Dead if You Don't; A Midsummer Night's Dead; And You Will Know Us By Our Trail of Undead; A Zombie For Your Thoughts





Number of In-Scene Deaths: 3 (awww crap, that's gotta be amped up!)

Number of Sex Scenes: 2-ish (that's right, -ish.)

Opening Line: "My first real-life zombie encounter was a pretty low-key affair, considering I didn't even realize at the time what I was dealing with."



Also of note, I was reading Middlesex all November, so at various points during my story, my main character inexplicably becomes omniscient. I LOVE YOU, NANOWRIMO!

So little time!

This passed week has been a toughy for NaNo scribblings. Last week, I experienced a remarkable upsurge of productivity, pounding out 7,000 words in two days. This was only made possible because of Veteran's Day, which my class observed by not having it. So instead of doing homework for two days, I wrote. And then I felt hella burnt out. (About 5k of those 7 were written longhand, so not only did I have to generate new content, I also had to find time to transcribe the older stuff.) But writing so much pushed me back up to be trailing the ideal word count by a comfortable 6k. I've managed to write the minimum (1,667) every day since then, to keep the gap steady. Lots of things have kept me busy this week, and I don't anticipate another surge of productivity until next Wednesday, when class is out for T-Week. Until then, I plan to keep my head at least slightly above water by doing my minimums every day (most of these tend to be longhand also, as I spend a lot of time on BART and during break at work). Sure, my sleep may suffer, and my friends may forget what I look like, but it's all for the greater good. THE GREATER GOOD!

Anyway, here are some more juicy highlights:

From Chapter One - All's Dead That Ends Dead
 
"There in the soft haze of this perfectly surreal moment between myself and someone whose image I have repeatedly masturbated to, materializes my first ever real-life zombie."

"And because I've watched so many movies in this piece of shit, do-nothing town, and because I don't believe in God or divine invention, and because I've read about the fucked up experiments science has sanctioned in its quest for knowledge since the invention of psychoanalysis, I know this man is a fucking zombie."

From Chapter Two - Eat You? I Hardly Know You

"I guess, looking back, that's when the stupidity took over. Or it may have been this: Michelle Rodriguez shouts into my ear, "Rain, stop," grabs at my flailing arms, and I, caught up in the desperation of the moment, lost in the pale emptiness of Biff's half-closed eyes and swimming in his blood, I elbow Michelle Rodriguez in the face." 

"I close my eyes and bite my lip and pee a little but hopefully nobody notices."

" "You're not how I imagined you." It's not the first stupid thing I've said to Michelle Rodriguez, but it certainly is the latest."

"Her left hook connects with the zombie's loose jaw, sending its remaining teeth up into its skull with a sound like Gallagher sledge-hammering an unsuspecting watermelon."

From Chapter Three - The Weather is Here, Wish You Were Dead

"Michelle plunges a hand into the side pocket of her camo pants and pulls out her wallet. She takes out her insurance card and hands it over. "Yeah, she's my cousin."
    "I thought she was your friend?" The other nurse says.
    "We get along," Michelle says.
    "This insurance company only gives coverage to immediate family," the counter nurse says.
    "Yeah, she's my sister."
    "But you just said...."
    "Sometimes I don't like her too much so I pretend she's my cousin to piss her off."
    "But..."
    "Hey look, guys - I'm bleeding!" 
    While they were occupied in their verbal battle, I surreptitiously drove my fingers into my bandage until I almost blacked out from the pain and felt the bandage grow soggy with my blood. I am the queen of quick distractions. Also, I may need to throw up."

From Chapter Four - A Bird in the Hand is Worth Two if You're Dead


"Quick Shot Guns & Ammo shares a rectangular parking lot with two other stores: a Check & Go, and Quick Shot Liquors. Some years ago there was talk of putting in a Quick Shot Mini Golf course across the street, but the town ultimately decided against adding to the confusion."


" "Ever shoot before?" She asks.
    I pump the shotgun, open the barrel and load up nine cartridges from the box Michelle holds out to me, slap the barrel back in place and cock a round into the chamber. "Alaskan hunting trips every other summer since I was ten."*
    "Must have a pretty cool dad," she says.
    I grab the box of bullets from her. "My mom took me." "




* I am aware this is not exactly how a shotgun operates. NaNoWriMo is not for researching or editing.

Updates!

This appeared when I googled "update".Website News - I updated the "Published Works" section of my site to reflect the current availability of my book. Expect further updates in December, if I survive the insanity of November (holidays, prepping for finals, writing writing writing!).

Press News - Yes, I consider A Librarian's Life in Books to be the press. I have a nice interview over there where I talk about self-publishing, my Antioch experience, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, of course, Rupert the Magical Pony. Check it out! If you look closely, you'll find a link to my infamous film project, Come Out! Come Out! A Magical Musical Journey.


NaNo News - You guys, I was so super excited to start NaNoWriMo until I sat down to do it and remembered what a soul-killer it is! Still, I managed to get through roughly 1500 words the first night (falling short of the daily goal, but it's something). I missed out on writing Tuesday because I had too much homework that I had foolishly put off until the last minute (plus also Rock Band 3 finally came, soooo...yeah). After my 12-hour school day on Wednesday, I managed a scant 260 words, and then on Thursday I pushed myself back up to roughly 1500 words long-hand, on the way home on BART. The more I write, the more I want to write, but finding time is always an issue.


Don't be emo, M.Rod!Here is a NaNo Fact Sheet for my (untitled) future novel:

Basic Plot: Rain is a young queerling working at a furniture outlet store in rural Ohio, trying to make a go of it with former-stripper girlfriend Carmelle (aka Carmel Apple). She's plodding along in a haze of mediocrity until one day
Zombie Origins: A bored scientist created them. (It could happen!)

Where I'm at Now: About three thousand words in, Michelle Rodriguez has finally showed up at the furniture store.

That's more like it!Highlights: From Day One - "Biff Tipping is a big man, like a bear who transmogrified into a person. He moves uncertainly in his new, plastic environment, navigating around desks and chairs like he wishes he'd just staid a frikkin' bear. " From Day Three - "Mostly I tune out and start thinking about things like Carmelle's boobs or a nice plate of seafood pasta, but I haven't had either of those things in a long time and it is getting hard to picture them. " From Day Four - " 'Want to know a trick I use to calm myself down during a tough sale?' Cherry asks. She leans in close to my ear and whispers, 'I simply picture all of the customers with a cock in their mouth.' I blink at her. 'A cock?' She nods and smiles, 'In their mouth.'"


Check back next week for more updates.

Goodreads News - So far, something like 567 people are hella eager to win some free shit, and there's still time for you to get in on this action! Click here to enter for a chance to win 1 of 5 free copies of my book! (Contest ends November 12th.) Also, there appear to be, like, 45 people who have tagged my book on their "to-read" shelves. I am not entirely certain what this means, but hopefully it means 45 people will someday read me book!





Thanks to everyone for your continued interest in my work or my rantings!

Is it Taboo to Review Your Own Book?

Sleep Like This is alive and ready to be read! Click here to purchase from Amazon.

Here is my review:

"I think it is fair to say that this book is better than the Bible. It is less preachy but has approximately the same amount of plagues, and what it lacks in disciples it more than makes up for in girl-on-girl make-outs. It's shorter than the Bible so you can read it in a few hours and still make it to church before the first group prayer. Once there, you can tell the congregation how much time they are wasting on that ridiculously verbose tome of theirs, when there is a much thinner, superior version available on Amazon for only $12. Probably, you will not go to Hell for reading this book, but I can't make any guarantees because I would not like to be sued by your eternally suffering soul. I believe you will feel the Holy Spirit enter you about the same time Brena's tongue enters Regina's ear. By the time the crime is solved, you will be convulsing with joy and speaking in tongues, and only a few of you will experience the stigmata.

You know that part in the Bible when Jesus disappears for, like, twelve years? He was off in the corner of some quiet library reading Sleep Like This.

Disclaimer: Sleep Like This has nothing (or very little) to do with the Bible or any religion, but it does have sex and death, so it's still pretty rock n' roll."


There is also a legitimate review posted on Amazon and Goodreads by my fabulous friend Amy Campbell of A Librarian's Life in Books.

AND I am giving away 5 copies of the book through Goodreads in exchange for a review (please). What a deal! The giveaway ends November 12th.




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    Goodreads Book Giveaway
 

 
   
   
     
       
     
   
   
   
     
       
          Sleep Like This
       
     
     
       
          by Dayna Ingram
       
     
     
     
       
         
            Giveaway ends November 12, 2010.
         

         
            See the giveaway details
            at Goodreads.
         

       
     
   
   
   
   
      Enter to win
   
   
 

 (It's still pending approval but should be ready in a couple of days.)

I'm also gearing up for NaNoWriMo, so expect some posts about that in October. Thanks for reading! 

Website!

I have a website now, but it is under construction.

SITE of the WEB

It's Week Nine of my third semester in this here MFA program, and I am super busy. Next month, I have decided to be stupid and participate in National Novel Writing Month, for which I will write 50,000 words of a zombie novel featuring Michelle Rodriguez kicking zombie tail. If I have the energy, perhaps I will chronicle my failure on this here blog.

Anyway, the website. Check it out. 

Can I Take a Nap in Your Dorm Room?

"Revolutionizing the way people get hit by cars."So I have this four hour break between classes on Wednesday, and this passed one (yesterday), I forgot to bring a book and I didn't have any homework to do! I ate some lunch at the mall and walked around and bought a video game. I went into a Border's and found a new book by Larry Doyle but it cost $24 dollars, and no matter how much I loved his first book, I can't take a chance for $24 dollars.

Oh look, a segue!

When I publish it, my book will only cost $13. Thirteen dollars. That is about the same amount most people spend on a single lunchtime meal. My book is like lunch for your eyeballs and brains! (Low calories, no carbs, mmmm!). Also, it will be available as an eBook, but I don't know how much that will cost.

Anyway, here is the jacket cover blurb:

Regina Scott, a freshman at a small town college, has many problems, all of which begin (and end) with the dead girl lying in the bed ten feet away. To deal, Regina's psyche breaks into two people - the first being zombie-led through the fire-rings of local police trying to squeeze out a confession; the second traveling back through her memories to trace the incidents that have landed her with blood on her hands and cuffs on her wrists.

Meanwhile, forensic pathologist Julia Breigan is called to assist Sheriff Davies in proving Regina's guilt. Breigan would be delighted to help out, except Davies happens to be her stepsister and the catalyst for her hasty departure thirteen years ago.

Having abandoned hope for finding resolution in her own life, all Julia Breigan wants is to help Regina find the truth in hers. All Sheriff Davies wants is an open-shut case. And Regina Scott, well, she just wants to wake up.


This blurb fails to mention that this story also includes lesbians. Not in a sensational way, although my professor in college did mention (more than once) that the sex scene made her wish she was a lesbian. I'm just saying.

Not a SegwayI'd also like to assure potential readers that I have personally edited out all spelling and grammatical errors. Well, okay, I can't promise that, but I did read this bitch like a twenty times, so if something's wrong, it's your fault. Also, the bulk of the manuscript was professionally edited over the course of my final year at Antioch, so again if there is something wrong, it's my professor's fault. Just kidding! Can't you people take a joke?

Anyway, my final proof is on order and will be here (probably) September 22nd. If everything's good, it'll be available in the first or second week of October. Then I will launch my grassroots marketing campaign which involves free copies (hard or electronic) in exchange for reviews on Amazon! More on that later.

Meanwhile, I must find a quiet place on campus to curl up and nap on Wednesdays. Time to hit The Craig List. 

Experiments in Self-Publishing

There is a general belief held by The Public that self-publishing only happens because the author's work wasn't "good enough" to get a book deal (or "be published for real"). It's like when a college student and a professor hook up: it's not against the rules, but it is frowned upon (plus, sometimes, super hot). This same Public, on the other hand, praises indie rock bands and gets super pissed when their favorite underground band does, after many years, get a record deal, lambasting them for "selling out".

"Do I get an A, professor?"Well, friends, the reality of the publishing industry is that it is a business; their bottom line trumps all else. While many a good book is published every year, there are thousands that aren't so much "good" as they are "marketable." The ridiculous hoops an author must push their work through just to get someone of any level of influence to read passed the blurb on their query letter is daunting, exhausting, and discouraging. Unless, of course, you have "networking skills," which basically means schmoozing your way into collecting names and numbers of the people who can help you out. Only the strongest survive in the cut-throat world of publishing - and, friends, strongest does not always mean "best," but rather "most persistent."

But there is hope! And that hope takes the form of technology. E-readers and internet publishing, along with print-on-demand publishing, are not only greener alternatives to traditional publishing but also take some of the power away from the publisher to decide what is "good" and puts it back into the hands of the authors and the consumers. Because a publisher's cost to put out an ebook is drastically lower than a bazillion hardbound copies that are on an indirect journey to the local landfill or recycling plant anyway, the cost to the consumer is also drastically lowered. Lower fiscal risk to the publisher means they will take more chances on unknown authors or unconventional work, and the consumer, paying now ten or fewer dollars as opposed to twenty or more dollars to try something new, will take more chances on these same books. Print-on-demand publishing offers the same benefits.

p.s. don't actually watch this movie, it is terrible
One advantage traditional publishing (or having a literary agent) does give the author is a paycheck. But most authors worth their weight in words (even those you suspect are being paid quite highly per manuscript) have a "day job", usually teaching or in a similar field, and certainly don't expect to make a living off their passion (though, wouldn't it be nice?). It's more about getting the work out there, finding a readership, and sharing the love. Which, I admit, traditional publishing, once again by means of shelling out the greenbacks, can help the work reach more readers than if the author does all the marketing themselves. But if it's a choice between letting your manuscript collect whatever the microchip equivalent of dust is sitting on your hard drive, or putting it out there to possibly connect with even one reader who doesn't know you or owe you anything who might just like it, then I choose the former.




All of this to say, I'm experimenting with self-publishing through Amazon's print-on-demand imprint, CreateSpace.  In the next few weeks, I am going to be publishing my novel Sleep Like This, which I would tell you more about but, man, I wrote a lot of stuff here already. So I leave you with the cover image of the book, provided by the awesome and generous Louise ORourke, and a promise to tell you more about it as the release date nears.

Summer Reading in Review

Gay, straight, whatever. Pls lern to spel.My goal at summer's outset was to read everything by my current professors that I could get my hands on, everything by Martin Amis that I had recently purchased, and everything by Philip K Dick that I had also just purchased. Lofty, lofty goals. Here is what I actually ended up reading (in the order in which I read them):

1. A Boy in Winter - Maxine Chernoff. This story explores the aftermath of a child's fatal mistake from the point of view of first his mother and then himself. It's interesting terrain, but I must say I felt the ending was too "oh no this thing needs a plot?!? crap." Because, really, it didn't need that extra plottiness at the end; I was digging it as just a kind of portrait.

2. Battle Royale - Koushun Takami. Ohhhh yeah muthafuckin society all defunct to shit with government sponsored kiddie battles to the death, yo. This was really way more interesting to read to discover the parallels and disparities between it and its movie counterpart than for any other reason. Which I seem to recall having reviewed many months ago.

3. House of Leaves - Mark Danielewski. This is definitely one o' them love 'em or hate 'em books. My money is on love, but I do have to admit that I skipped sizable chunks of what I considered to be the secondary narrative and concentrated on only reading the "essay" of the house and its explorers. It was pretty creepy.

4. I Drink for a Reason - David Cross. Sometimes when I am on break at work I just try to read books that don't make me think too hard about anything. This is one of those.

5. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Steig Larrson. I finally caved to the hype over a six hour plane ride and subsequent vacation cruise. There is not a lot to do on a cruise ship besides eat, drink, gamble, sunbathe and read. This first installment lives up to the hype - I especially like its "closed room" mystery feel, and the characters are definitely original and finely tuned. Too bad this is the only book in which the main characters, Lisbeth and Mikael,  truly interact face to face.

Weresheep!6. Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - Philip K Dick. This book has, hands down, the most hilarious opening scene I've ever read. The entire book is actually quite funny (and brief), completely different from the movie, which was turned into some sci-fi crime romp entirely devoid of humor. And sheep, incidentally.

7. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Truman Capote. I'd seen the fantastic Infamous, which spurred me to read In Cold Blood, but never had I read any of Capote's straight fiction. This was a fascinating piece of literature, and I was surprised (though perhaps I shouldn't have been) at how little has changed over the years in regards to language and what is considered taboo. Sex and sex work, real or imagined, is kind of still regarded in the same "wow that's kind of erotic...maybe we shouldn't talk about it" kind of way. (Interesting side note, depending on what you find interesting: a had a customer sell some books the other day whose last name was Golightly. I asked if that was her given name, and she said, "Yes. At least my parents didn't name me Holly." I forget what her first name was.)

8. The Girl who Played with Fire - Steig Larsson. I ran out of things to read on my way back form vacation, so I bought this second installment in the airport, even though I had a perfectly good copy waiting for me back home. It got me through the flight, but it was not nearly as captivating as the first, especially with all the convenient "twists" in Salander's past. Whatevs, SAPO, who gives a shit...I wanna see Mikael and Lisbeth hug it out, dammit!

9. Soon I Will Be Invincible - Austin Grossman. Man, this guy killed a promising premise by faltering into the first-time novelist trap of summarizing instead of giving us scenes. I don't actually know if this was his first novel, but it sure felt amateurish. Seriously, I can pick out like maybe seven actual, full scenes that went on for at least five pages. SEVEN. It was all exposition, exposition, cardboard characters, exposition, explosions, the end. Disappointing.

10. The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest - Steig Larsson. Speaking of disappointing. This final installment takes this series into full-on conspiracy thriller mode and leaves me wondering why I wasted the time slogging through the six-hundred page tome in the first place. Granted, I did skip many sections, scanning the pages for mention of Lisbeth Salander. She's the real draw. NO ONE CARES ABOUT SAPO. It's like the editors were too afraid to dissect Larsson's manuscript after he passed, and the story suffers immensely for it.

11. Silent Bob Speaks - Kevin Smith. Haha, Kevin Smith thought Jersey Girl was the best thing he'd ever done.

"My mom says yum."12. I Love You, Beth Cooper - Larry Doyle. This is the second best book I read this summer, and probably one of the funniest books I've ever read. It is an excellent example of how deeply a unique narrative voice can effect a story; I mean, it was all about that voice. Which, unfortunately, could not be translated to the screen, as the film adaptation clearly demonstrates. But Hayden Panettiere. Yum.

13. Geek Love - Katherine Dunn. This was the best book I read this summer, maybe even of all time, I have not decided yet. It is just one of those stories that claws its way into your stomach and nests there, seeping its juices into the rest of your bodily functions on the daily. It's just so incredible. I had the same reaction to this as I did when I first read The Poisonwood Bible a few years ago: "Holy shit, how have I not read this before now?" Life is not the same after you read this. Trust me.


Well, there it is. Only thirteen books the entire summer seems small for me, but let's not forget this list does not include graphic novels or books I started but could not get through out of supreme lack of interest (cough Children of Men cough).


Yay!  Books!