Erik Amundsen's Blog, page 72

Hi LJ

Took me until now to get in.  I forgot what I was going to post, so, I suppose, everyone wins.

Run Blogging

Ran  to the base of the HILL, walked to the summit and walked some more.  Legs still not feeling it, so I am pushing them gently, but pushing them nonetheless.

Run Blogging

Just a quick turn around the building - legs are still uncooperative.  I'll walk some this afternoon.  Promise.

ETA: And I kept that promise.  Decided to walk the HILL, which is only slightly easier than running it.

Run Blogging

Today was a better day on a harder course, but I let myself try to keep up with some young guys who were also running and, instead, felt my age creep up on me.  Macho shit aside, I need to remember that I am not doing this to hone a good thing but to forestall further damage and bad things.

The Charnel House where the Gods all Died

Perhaps it's because darkpaisley and I have been more or less switching off playing Dragon Age these last couple weeks, because heaven knows, the silly story they have at the beginning about the golden city of the god of men turning black when men touched it and unleashing the orc analogues is not very new, but I have a fantasy notion about something similar where some hubristic jerk finds a way to get to the halls of the gods and finds them dead.  I have a notion to write something about the smell as said hubristic jerk opens the doors.  I've got nothing else for it, and I can't be certain this is not just some perverse, devil-aimed impulse to annoy superversive  and that crew.  Oh well, it's about if anyone else wants to do something with it.

Things

I try not to hunch up my shoulders now, make the conscious effort to let them drop and push them back.  I've been tense so long it hurts to relax.  I threw out the ugly shoes, which were very comfortable, but, indeed, ugly.  A year in them finished them off, and that is not bad.  Next. Next.  Next.  I am sneaking a few words of writing in, but this afternoon, I have other things that need attention.  Tutoring Red Dragon for one thing - my nephew, that shall be his pseudonym.  He is hyperkinetic and in kindergarten and already they are trying to track him into misery and shitty outcomes.  So fuck them.  I don't think I am a good teacher, but I am better at it than I am at anything else, and I don't have to teach for a test or lie for a bureaucracy, so I have a great set of advantages.  His mother is terrified of the computer, which is going to make this a lot harder, because I want to know what he's doing in school, so I can plan something complementary.

Run Blogging

OW.  Today was not a good day. 
I did get in a good hike on Sunday, though, which should be worth something. 

I really just want to call this poem "Koch"

I would take it from your ears,
the voice of the birds in the morning
the ones who sing before the dawn
and after the sleep you did not miss,
those hours when we toiled
and raked furrows in our minds.
You slept, or maybe you woke,
for I hear an early wake is a badge
of pride among the great.
I can't imagine that you listened,
awake or sleeping, but you heard
and I say you don't deserve it,
so be grateful I've no more authority
over birds than over you.

Run Blogging and Other

For the first time ever, when a coworker rode by and asked if I wanted a lift, I took them up on it.  I think I got a mile before my first walk and another 1/2 to 3/4 before I gave up, but recovering from sickness, my wacky sleep schedule (all day yesterday and then up until 5 ayem, as greygirlbeast  , who is well acquainted with the hour calls it) and, let's not mince words, severe depression are somewhat affecting my performance.

These things are beyond the power of anyone who cannot bring up to 14000 dead back to life in Japan, heaven knows how many in New Zealand, restore some means of life to Haiti, even after all this fucking time, contain three leaking radioactive powerplants, stop the autocrats of Bahrain and Libya from murdering their people and the would-be autocrats of this nation from taking state after state and making a mockery of the law... And I know there is at least one horrible disaster 4 cycles back in the news which I cannot even remember anymore. 

Anyway, combination of brain chemistry which only I have the power to manage and the existential shit, which, clearly no one or no many can manage.  The internal will right itself.  The external... well, eventually my over-saturated pea brain will forget.

Today, I have done a lot of sleeping.

And not a lot of anything else.