Joshua Becker's Blog, page 85

Don’t Trade Your Passion Just to Gain the World

Very few people, if you were to sit across from them over coffee, would proclaim that owning everything in the world is their greatest goal in life.

Most people would answer quite differently.

When you engage in heartfelt conversations and ask people what they want to accomplish in life, most speak of love, relationships, impact, and significance. They desire to live meaningful lives, close to the people they love the most. Many speak of faith. Or they talk about solving important problems. But very few proudly declare, “I just want to make as much money and own as much stuff as I possibly can.”

Our hearts speak of something greater, more fulfilling, and longer lasting.

I bet yours does too.

And yet, too often it seems, we trade our heart’s greatest pursuits and greatest passions for the temporal possessions of this world.

I once had dinner with a man who mentors outgoing CEO’s and corporate executives in the Pacific Northwest. I asked him about his work and how he got started in it. He told me, “Joshua, I had a surprising number of retiring executives come to me and say something along the lines of, ‘I feel like I wasted my life.’”

He went on to tell me more. That these men and women had spent their lives investing into and building companies that were successful by almost every standard of measurement. But at the end, the only question they were asking was, “Was it all worth it?”

Now, just to be clear, this is not a post about the merits of corporations or their executives. Indeed, some of the people I most look up to in life are highly successful in business and live meaningful lives at the same time.

This is a post about something else entirely. This is a post about the temptation that surrounds each of us, every day, to trade our greatest passions for the things of this world.

Because minimalism is about more than owning less.

Minimalism is also about alignment.

It is about removing the burden of unnecessary physical possessions from our homes and lives. But it is also about reevaluating the esteem that possessions hold in our affections. And being intentional about removing the distractions that keep us from realizing our most important goals.

It is freeing to own less. Owning less frees up money and time and energy and focus. But it frees up more than that.

Minimalism frees our lives to realign our resources around the greatest passions of our heart. (tweet that)

And this is a benefit that cannot be overstated.

Grab a sheet of paper. Across the top, write, “The Three Most Important Things I Want to Accomplish with My Life.”

Quietly, make your list.

When you are finished, begin asking yourself hard questions about alignment. Am I spending my money pursuing these accomplishments? Have I crafted a life that devotes enough time and energy toward this list? Have I allowed any distractions (whether physical possessions or time commitments) to take precedence over any of these items? Are there other, less important pursuits in my life keeping me from fully accomplishing this list?

Have I allowed my greatest passions and most important desires to be usurped by the world around me? Have I chased society’s definition of success rather than my own?

In the end, we’re all going to ask ourselves, “Were the things I devoted my life to worth it?”

And if we discover at that time, that we traded our most meaningful passions for the things of this world, it will be a trade we’ll regret making.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

F ill your life with stories to tell, not stuff to show.

The simplicity/minimalism movement is a beautiful community. And I enjoy any opportunity to promote writing that encourages people to live more by owning less.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea. Find a quiet moment this weekend. And enjoy some encouraging words to inspire more simplicity in your life today.

What I’ve Learned After One Year of Tiny House Living | Love Liberty Shelter by Liberty. The truth is, this past year of tiny house living has packed quite a punch in surprise, discomfort, upending old notions . . . and somehow, it has also ushered in a new breakthrough in living.

I Wore a Black Dress Every Day For a Week — And It Changed How I Look At My Closet | This Is Insider by Lindsay Mack. The basic idea is that uniforms allow you to spend less time and effort putting together outfits, so you have more resources for the other areas in your life.

To Cure Affluenza, We Have To Be Satisfied With The Stuff We Already Own | The Guardian by Richard Denniss. We have been trained to love the thrill of buying new stuff. We love things not for their material function, but for the symbolic act of acquiring and possessing them.

Wellbeing Enhanced More By Places Than Objects, Study Finds | The Guardian by Caroline Davies. Research using brain scans finds people experience feelings of contentment from places more than from objects such as photographs or wedding rings.

Let Go of What Was to Make Space for What Will Be

Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui of A Life in Progress.

We are afraid to let go for different reasons.

For one daughter of mine, her eclectic collection of books helps inform her identity. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in poverty and fear of lack can compel him to gather and hoard. Personally, I find myself afraid to let go because I struggle to trust that there is yet more goodness and beauty to come my way.

But I know I must let go of what was to make space for what will be.

Organization and order come naturally to me. I maintain a minimalist wardrobe, resist the pull of busy, and release habits or belongings that no longer merit space in my life. My challenge with letting go is emotional, not physical.

As I give away the favorite storybooks and games and buckets of Legos that marked my years as mama of little people, what I’m really letting go of is a beautiful season of life where I knew my role, was good at it, and felt needed. That was my dream—to build a nest and raise family. As my kids grow up and leave home, I’m shocked at the unexpected grief mixed with hope. Sometimes I want just a few days more to hug their little bodies tight. Fear tells me it will never again be as sweet as this.

Though I ache, I let go of what was to make space for what will be.

I am learning to coexist with discomfort and take action anyway so I can do the work to which I am called in this new season. But after years of numbing and running and wrestling with anxiety that incapacitates, this is hard work, emotional work, and sometimes I want to quit because even at 46 growing up is hard to do. Fear whispers I will fail anyway so it’s better not to try.

I challenge fear with truth and let go of who I was to make space for who I choose to be.

Each day I practice loving with less judgment, meeting people where they’re at. I notice my tendency toward impatience and frustration, and remind myself to take a breath and trust the journey. Instead of stepping into each day with a rigid agenda, I show up with curiosity. Fear warns that if I don’t control tightly, I will miss out or fall behind.

But I’ve opted out of the race, so I loosen my grip on what I think should be to make space for joyful possibility.

Doing the hard work of digging into the muck, hands dirtied, unhurried, to unearth what it is that draws me to hold on tight for dear life is the first step to letting go. It is only in this messy, uncomfortable place that I begin to untangle the roots of my fear and find my way to freedom. Slowly. Surely.

It is here that I identify my own compelling reason to let go of what was to make space for what will be.

The only way to true growth is through.

And if we are not careful we can fool ourselves into thinking we are doing the deeper work while we sleepily traipse along someone else’s path. We must find a way to quiet the noise, for there’s no replacement for living open heart, quiet mind. If we run from the inner work, disappointment tends to follow.

She is an excellent rule follower and with a surge of energy and stamina creates a fall capsule wardrobe, declutters her home and life, only to have the stuff, the busyness and the overwhelm creep back in slowly and stealthily. She didn’t get to the root of her issue.

He lives in shame because even though he faithfully devours the simple-living books and blog posts and knows his current life pace is unsustainable, still he struggles to find momentum to slow down. He hasn’t identified his own compelling reason to initiate purposeful and lasting change.

You jump wholeheartedly onto the minimalist train and conform well but because you haven’t spent the time to gain clarity around what you truly want or who you are, you still feel as sad or lonely or unfilled as before. You forgot along the way that we are each knit-together uniquely and in order to live aligned with your mission, your life will, by necessity, look different from mine.

We must do the inner work.

Only then can we shake off the unessential, eliminate, reduce. Craft a life that is uncluttered and rich with purpose. A life with room to breathe so that we are freed up to share our voice and gifts. Whatever the excess that overstuffs our life we are served by getting honest about why we hold on tight.

This is the way to freedom.

Once we’ve done the inner work, we let go of what was to make space for what will be.

***

Krista is a stubborn questioner, honest storyteller, and Joyful Living Educator. Her mission is to help women live unshackled lives of purpose, health, and joy. Connect with her at A Life in Progress or on Facebook.

All The Reasons You Keep Hearing About Minimalism

The term, , refers to the phenomenon when you are introduced to a new idea and suddenly start seeing it everywhere you look. Frequency Illusion is another phrase used to explain the cognitive bias.

For example, you have no idea so many people are playing Settlers of Catan until your friend introduces you to the game. Once he does, you start noticing people talking about it everywhere you look. Or you don’t notice the number of Jeeps being driven on the road until you start driving one yourself.

This is one of the reasons you keep hearing about minimalism. A phrase you knew little about… until you were introduced to it… and now you are pleasantly surprised to see the word being talked about everywhere… even among some of your friends.

Let’s talk about that for a minute. Other than the phenomenon of frequency illusion, why are we seeing minimalism used more and more?

—

Ten years ago, I was introduced to minimalism by my neighbor. It was a short conversation that took place after a long morning of cleaning out my garage. After listening to a few sentences of me complain, my neighbor responded, “Yeah, that’s why my daughter is a minimalist. She keeps telling me I don’t need to own all this stuff.”

Those two short sentences changed the course of my life forever.

When I first heard the word “minimalism,” I searched for the phrase online. To my relief, I found some folks taking about it: Leo, Tammy, Everett, Colin. These men and women became my source of motivation and accountability. I was also encouraged by authors who were writing about a more culturally accepted phrase: “decluttering.” While not synonymous, many of their thoughts and ideas about owning less helped me along the way.

But still, relatively speaking, there were very few people writing or talking about the topic. It was certainly not a phrase being used frequently. And to the best of my knowledge, there were no websites dedicated entirely to the lifestyle (until this one, I suppose).

But a lot has changed over the ten years since I first started this blog. And these factors have led to a new world where minimalism is far more common today than in recent history.

Let’s look at the reasons you keep hearing about minimalism:

1. We own too much stuff. This blog has grown from just a handful of readers to over 1 million readers each month. When explaining this growth, I respond with a simple rationale, “Most people own too much stuff. And when somebody offers a countercultural approach that focuses on owning less, people are drawn to it.” There are a few exceptions, but most people these days recognize their lives would probably benefit from owning a little bit less.

2. The evolution of the word. Not long ago, when people heard the word minimalism, only the most extreme examples came to mind. While I craved a life with less, extreme applications of minimalism did not align with my most significant values. Correctly applied, minimalism ought to be rational, intentional, and an approach to life focused on purpose, not material possessions. Over time, people have latched on to this application of the word and living a more minimalist lifestyle has begun to look different than even a decade ago.

3. The use of the word in design. Minimalism as a term for design has been growing in popularity since World War II. It is currently used to describe movements in art, architecture, music, interior design, website design, and more. For the most part, this website is dedicated to minimalism as a lifestyle in owning fewer possessions. But that doesn’t mean the word is not used elsewhere in other ways.

4. The use of the word in advertising. Of greater concern to me is the use of the word “minimalism” in marketing campaigns. As the lifestyle grows in popularity, more and more people and businesses will seek to capitalize on its momentum for financial gain. As a result, I know of ads featuring minimalist wallets, pants, belts, watches, shirts… and countless other products. It’s the natural life cycle of a movement. And I’m thankful that the movement has grown in popularity to a point where marketing campaigns can be built around it, it just makes me sad to see it happen. If you think you need to spend a lot of money to become minimalist, you’re doing it wrong: minimalism is about owning less, not more.

5. The documentary “Minimalism” appearance on Netflix. Late last year, Minimalism: A Documentary about The Important Things made its debut on Netflix. It’s a film I’m thankful to play a small part in. I am unaware of the actual number of viewers since its debut, but I know they are significant. Special thanks to Joshua and Ryan over at The Minimalists for using the medium to help spread the life-giving message of owning less.

6. Internet Data Mining. I include this reason not because I love it, but because it is true and belongs on the list. Social media giants (actually Internet companies of every stripe) have made gathering data about users as their platform for profit. As a result, they are able to tailor your experience based on your preferences as displayed online. Visit Amazon because you need a new pair of shoes? Don’t be surprised to see those same shoes being advertised to you the next time you visit Facebook, or Google, or any number of websites. Stumble upon a website dedicated to minimalism? Don’t be surprised if you start seeing the word any number of future places you visit online.

7. Increased global social awareness. Injustice, poverty, and malnutrition have always existed. But as new technology has made the world smaller by making global images more accessible, our awareness of the disparity has increased. Some are responding to the call and using their finances to make a difference on a global scale by feeding the hungry, providing clean drinking water, fighting back epidemics, and speaking up for the voiceless wherever it is needed. Generosity, in so many ways, fuels minimalism as a lifestyle.

8. The continued growth of minimalist blogs, books, and stories. There are more blogs and books today focused on the topic of minimalism than at any point in human history. I love it! Becoming Minimalist has been featuring new and upcoming writers in the world of minimalism since 2010. And we will continue to do so in the future. A wide range of voices, cultures, and stories is healthy and needs to be championed. I have honestly never been more proud or excited about the movement.

The Baader-Meinhof effect may describe why you are more open to seeing minimalism today than ever before. But the fact remains that you had to be introduced to it at some point. If this blog played a small role in that happening, I am thankful. If not, I am glad you found us.

Minimalism may be more prevalent in our world today than ever before. But it is still counter-cultural… and there still a whole bunch of people who need to hear about the life-giving benefits of it. Let’s keep spreading the message together.

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

There’s more to life than buying stuff.

There are many wonderful people pursuing and promoting simplicity. Fortunately, some of them are gifted in communication and choose to encourage and inspire us with their words. I enjoy reading their unique perspective. I’m sure you will too.

So fix yourself a nice warm cup of coffee or tea on this beautiful weekend. Find a quiet moment. And enjoy some encouraging words about finding more simplicity in your life today.

‘I could live simpler’: Floods and fires make Americans rethink their love affair with stuff | Washington Post* by Lisa Bonos and Jura Koncius. “I think the coverage has affected people. It reminds them to think, ‘What do I have in my house and how would I gather those things and put them in my car and leave?’ ”

Lowering Your Life’s Requirements | Mnmlist by Leo Babauta. When something becomes a need, a requirement, it locks us in. We have to have it, which means we start structuring our lives around it.

Understanding The Marginal Utility of New Gadgets | Simple Living Daily by James. I used to be a big sucker for new electronics…

Albert Einstein’s Theory of Happiness Sold For $1.5m | The Independent by Maya Oppenheim.  “A quiet and modest life brings more joy than a pursuit of success bound with constant unrest.” —Albert Einstein

Fall Wardrobe Challenge: 10 Pieces, 10 Outfits, 10 Days | Unfancy by Caroline Joy Rector. Here’s how it works: Pick 10 items of clothing from your closet. Include tops, bottoms, and shoes for your everyday life. Then, for 10 days, create a new outfit each day using your 10 items.

*Editor’s note: The Washington Post limits the number of free Post articles nonsubscribers can read to 10 per month.

Why Families Need Minimalism

Note: This is a guest post from Zoë Kim of The Minimalist Plate.

Seven years ago, my husband was in the military. During one deployment to Africa, despite our careful planning, the kids and I were left alone to pack up and move everything while he was gone.

“You never realize how much stuff you have until you try to put it in a box,” Allison Fallon once said. Or in my case, until you try to put it in a box for the 10th time with kids in tow.

It was during this move that the real cost of my clutter started becoming painfully obvious. In this stress and overwhelm, my desire for simplicity was born.

At every opportunity, I peeled away the layers of my clutter—the broken stuff, the perfectly good stuff, and the sentimental stuff.

Eventually, my useful things now all had a home with room to breathe! With an uncluttered home, I spent less time looking for and taking care of my things and more time doing things I love. And, yet still, there was clutter.

Hadn’t I gotten rid of all my clutter? Indeed I had. But I was learning, as Eleanor Brownn once said, “Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.”

Clutter. Busyness. Overwhelm.

Clutter takes many forms—it finds its way onto our calendars and to-do lists, it leads us to Pinterest perfection, fear of missing out, mindless scrolling, and constant discontent. Clutter is anything—good, bad, or indifferent—that distracts you from a more meaningful and intentional life.

What’s the first step? Less. When your family is living in the land of tired-busy-and-overwhelmed, the first step is almost always less.

Minimalism isn’t just reserved for the single, the college student, the baby boomers, and people who seem to live a less complicated life than you do. Minimalism is for everyone, for families: small families, large families, especially for families.

Families need minimalism too.

It’s Time for Calm.

In a survey of a thousand families, Ellen Galinsky, the head of the Families and Work Institute, asked children, “If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?” Most parents thought their kids would say spending more time with them, but they were wrong. The kids’ number one wish was that their parents were less tired and less stressed.

Studies have shown that parental stress depletes their immune systems, weakens children’s brains, and increases their risk of obesity and mental illness just to name a few.

Becoming a minimalist family helps you and your kids let go of the things creating undue stress in your family’s lives.

It’s Time to Stop Doing It All.

If your family is living like it’s an iPhone—always on, always connected, with an app for whatever needs to be done—you’re sure to be drained.

The desire to do more keeps our family doing just that—more—counting the things we do instead of doing the things that count.

So let’s say we start saying “no” to always being connected, and always doing, and honor each other’s right to do the same?

Denaye Barahona Ph.D., a Family Wellness expert at Simple Families and author of the foreword for my new book, says, “The world our children are growing up in today isn’t just cluttered, it’s chaotic. The chaos is leading to an epidemic of stress and anxiety in childhood.”

Becoming a minimalist family gives you the tools to filter out the clutter and chaos causing stress and anxiety in your child’s life. Isn’t that a worthwhile cause?

It’s Time to Stop Being Broke.

“If time is money, then I’m broke. I think a lot of us are.” — Jeff Shinabarger.

And by our own accounts, many families are broke, time-wise. What is the most common short answer to the question, how are you? Busy. Tired. (Or both!)

The world says a successful family has the perfect house, obedient and adorable children excelling in multiple extracurricular activities, parents doing it all perfectly (just like advertisements show us) while climbing their career ladder flawlessly.

Where does this successful-family-focus often lead us? Broke in our busyness—spending time working to have things we won’t have time to enjoy. Why are we doing this?

No family says, “Our goal is to raise our family spending more time pursuing status, possessions and money, and less time on relationships, contribution, purpose or faith.” Yet sadly, many of us live that way only to realize later how backward we had it.

Becoming a minimalist family helps you see (and have time for) what really matters.

It’s Time for Gratitude.

Gratitude helps us appreciate the value of something and the things we already have. It’s hard to want more things you don’t need when you’re resting in gratitude. Gratitude sounds more like, “I have more than enough. I’m going to give some more away.”

As a family, maybe the only thing we really need is more gratitude.

It’s Time for a Healthier Diet.

If you’re juggling the needs of others while living in clutter and overwhelm, it’s likely affecting your family’s diet.

A recent study found that participants in an orderly environment chose healthier snacks than those in a cluttered environment.

As Dr. Eva Shalom explains, “Clutter is stressful for the brain, so you’re more likely to resort to coping mechanisms such as choosing comfort foods or overeating than if you spend time in neater surroundings.”

It’s Time to Get Organized.

The National Association of Professional Organizers reports we spend one year of our lives looking for lost items. It’s time to get organized once and for real! And I couldn’t agree more with The Minimalists when they said, “The easiest way to organize your stuff is to get rid of most of it.”

The truth is most of us don’t have an organization problem; we have an own-too-much-stuff-problem. (tweet that)

It’s Time for Better Relationships.

Relationships are a bedrock for living well, and healthy families are an essential element of any healthy society. Our family plays a defining role in teaching us how to connect and contribute to society.

Clutter and busyness distract our attention from the present moment. When you have a family, this means you’re distracted from the important moments with your family. Relationships suffer when we spend too much time plugged into all the wrong connections.

A minimalist life holds benefits for everyone—especially for those of us with families. Giving up excess stuff is always a gain—more time, space, and energy to pursue our purpose, passion, and meaningful connections with those we love.

If your family struggles to stay organized and clutter-free, I’ve written a book just for you. It’s called Minimalism for Families and it will help you begin and continue living a minimalist lifestyle with your family.

Here’s to you and every family making room for what matter most. In your home, in your mind, and in your heart.

***

Zoë Kim blogs at The Minimalist Plate where she inspires others to live an intentional life by owning less, creating new habits, and cultivating opportunities to give.

Her new book, Minimalism for Families, comes with a whole bunch of family-based bonuses if you pre-order now. I was happy to provide an endorsement for it.

A Body In Motion…

…stays in motion,” Isaac Newton explains in his first law of motion.

This is true of objects. It is also true of us.

Recently, I received an email from a reader with this question:

Did you know what your passion was when you started downsizing? What advice would you give to people that don’t know because they’ve spent decades just accumulating things that don’t matter?”

I thought I’d share my answer here. First, because it is a question I am asked frequently (not necessarily at every speaking event, but most of them). And second, because I think the answer leads to a larger principle I hope we all find helpful.

To those who are struggling to discern their passion in life, my suggestion is to pick just one good that you’d like to bring into the world and take a step toward it—whether donating your time, your talents, or your financial resources. Choose one, any one, and get started in some small way.

If you have a passion or know of a problem in the world you would like to solve, there is probably an organization nearby working on that very thing. Maybe your first step is a Google search and a short email asking if there is any way you can help.

You may be surprised what you discover. You may quickly realize your talents and skills and uniqueness fit perfectly into their needs.

Or, you may discover that they do not…

You may discover that your giftedness aligns better with a different organization or a different passion or a different problem that you want to solve. But it seems to me, in either scenario, you’d never make that discovery without taking a first step.

Any step.

Because it’s easier to find a vision or identify a passion if you are actively engaged searching for it.

A body in motion stays in motion.

This principle applies to finding passion in life. But I think it also applies in countless other areas:

Want to be healthier? Take just one step—even a walk around your block. A body in motion stays in motion.

Want to declutter your home? Take just one step—minimize one drawer, closet, or shelf. A body in motion stays in motion.

Want to travel more? Take just one step—plan one short trip. A body in motion…

Want to get out of debt? Take just one step—make one extra payment on a credit card balance this week. A body in motion…

Want to be a better parent?

Want to start a new hobby?

Want to become more spiritual?

Want to write a novel or start a blog?

Want to improve or save your marriage?

Want to read more?

Want to get more organized?

In every regard, a body in motion stays in motion. For every change or discovery we desire to see in ourselves, it begins always with putting ourselves in motion toward it. And then building on the momentum we started.

Your first step in a new direction doesn’t have to be a big one. And while one small step probably won’t result in the entire change you are hoping for, the second step doesn’t always reveal itself until you’ve taken the first.

Further reading on this subject: Are You Taking The False First Step?

Inspiring Simplicity. Weekend Reads.

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a countercultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of overconsumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

For that reason, I hope you will make an effort this weekend to find a quiet moment with a cup of coffee or tea and enjoy some of these hand-picked articles to encourage more simplicity in your life.

A Survivalist Filled His Massive Basement With Food—Then decided Puerto Rico needed it more | The Washington Post by Kristine Phillips. The food that the Badames had intended to eat in case of crisis will now feed starving people in two Puerto Rican towns devastated by Hurricane Maria.

This Technique Might Actually Clear Your Clutter Once and For All | News.com.au by Hannah-Rose Yee. The new decluttering trend is called Swedish Death Cleaning and it’s a game-changer.

I Didn’t Understand Money So I Stopped Calling It Money | TIME by Whitney Cummings. To change the way I thought about money, I started substituting the word “money” with the word “freedom.”

Buy Nothing Project: Free clothes, toys, food — even a wedding | The Seattle Times by Scott Greenstone. Inspired by a Himalayan village society, Buy Nothing links a half-million people with their neighbors and eschews consumerism.

Why Experiences Are Better Than Things

I enjoy baseball and I like cheering for the hometown team. So my son and I decided to attend an evening of postseason baseball this week when the Arizona Diamondbacks hosted the Los Angeles Dodgers.

If you follow baseball, you know the Diamondbacks lost the game… and the series… and their season ended that night. In that regard, the night was a bummer. But in every other way, the evening was close to perfect.

The crowd was boisterous. The weather was amazing. The food was delicious. And the conversation was stellar.

We make choices every day with our financial resources. But this particular night of baseball was a helpful reminder to me that experiences are almost always a better investment than things.

Consider the reasons:

Experiences result in greater happiness. According to research, experiences result in longer-lasting happiness than material possessions. This is the case for several reasons (including some listed below). But in the article provided, the driving argument is that humans quickly adapt to their external surroundings. As a result, the happiness provided by new material possessions is short-lived. Over time, people’s satisfaction with the things they buy decreases, whereas their satisfaction with experiences over time increases.

Experiences provide better memories. One reason I enjoy baseball so much, is undoubtedly, because of the many memories I have watching it with my father. Growing up in South Dakota, an annual trip with the family to watch the Minnesota Twins play was a highlight of summer. Decades later, I look back on those moments with great joy and fondness. I remember them far better than almost any of the physical gifts I received as a child.

Experiences result in less clutter. Most physical possessions eventually become a burden on our lives. They take up physical space in our homes and mental space in our minds. They require care, attention, maintenance, organization. Experiences, on the other hand, are accompanied with little to no physical baggage. The only thing I brought home with me from the game were a few photos on my phone.

Experiences provide greater opportunity to connect with other people. This is the nature of experiencing things with others. Because we enjoy time together around a common purpose and activity for an extended period of time, we are afforded numerous opportunities to talk and connect with one another. My son enjoyed the game on the field, so did I. But I also enjoyed the opportunity to simply talk and connect about school and sports and friendships.

Experiences result in greater mindfulness. In 2010, Matthew Killingsworth and Daniel Gilbert published an important study in Science magazine. Their research concluded that “a wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” And the greater a person’s ability to “stay present” in a given moment, the greater happiness they experience during and after. Experiences provide greater opportunity in this regard. In fact, to discover more helpful techniques about how to stay present in the experiences of life, read How to Make Good Moments Last Longer by Allison Niebes-Davis, PhD.

Experiences result in less comparison with others. According to research done by Ryan T. Howell and Graham Hill, another significant reason experiences result in more happiness than material possessions is because experiences result in less comparison with others. Or, as they put it, “It’s easier to feature-compare material goods (how many carats is your ring? how fast is your laptop’s CPU?) than experiences. And since it’s easier to compare, people do so.” This doesn’t mean, of course, that comparisons don’t still occur at events (“I wish I had that guy’s seats!”). But overall, both during and after, we are less inclined to compare with others the experiences we enjoy than the material possessions we own.

When we first began pursuing minimalism nine years ago, I remember asking myself what might I begin to do with the newfound benefits of owning less. If we were no longer purchasing, pursuing, and caring for excess possessions in life, what might we do with the excess money, time, and energy?

Over the years, we’ve been able to do a lot. But enjoying memorable experiences together as a family is certainly near the top of the list of my favorite.

Compared to buying more things, I’ll take enjoying memorable experiences any day. Even if my team did lose on Monday night.

What I Learned About Minimalism in Poland

Earlier this week, I spoke in Warsaw on the topic of minimalism. It was at a conference of 1,000 fathers from a number of European countries. But most men in attendance were from the host country, Poland.

It was, as you might imagine, fascinating.

On Friday evening, my wife and I attended a gala honoring some leaders of the Fatherhood Movement in Poland. There was recognition offered for individuals, industry leaders, and government officials—all of which, in one way or another, were committed to building stronger families in the war-torn nation.

At dinner, I met a man named Piotr (pronounced: Peter) who would serve as our translator for the evening. Piotr is my age and teaches English in the schools. Other than conversations with organizers of the conference, Piotr was the first to offer me a glimpse into daily life in Poland.

Forgive me if you know the historical details already, but here’s a snapshot into Poland’s recent past. It’ll be important.

Germany’s march into Poland during September of 1939 served as the beginning of WWII. German armies traveled east into Poland while the Soviet Union advanced from the west. By the end of 1939, after the conquest, many of the Polish intelligentsia, noblemen, clergy, and teachers were killed by the Germans in an attempt to completely destroy Poland’s identity as a nation.

The entire territory was divided between Germany and the Soviet Union—an agreement between Hitler and Stalin to not advance any further. Hitler would break that treaty in 1941 in hopes of eventually defeating Russia (he didn’t). And Warsaw would feel the full brunt of his decision being tossed back and forth between the two superpowers.

By 1945, the city of Warsaw had been entirely destroyed. First, by the Germans. And then again, by the Russian army as they marched west to occupy the city and defeat the German army. To this day, Warsaw is called the “City of Memorials” as there is not a single street in Warsaw that did not see death during World War II. The city’s prewar population of approximately 1.3 million had been reduced to 150,000.

And if you think 1945 was a long time ago, you would be mistaken. If a generation lasts 40 years, many of the fathers I met at the conference last weekend are the sons of the men and women who were almost entirely eradicated during World War II and grew up with a difficult family life because of it.

But history does not end there. It continues. Following World War II, much of Poland’s land was given to the USSR, the entire country was put under Soviet influence. Poland would continue to exist under rule of the Communist Party until 1989. It wasn’t until 1991 that Poland’s transition from a communist party rule to a Western-style democratic political system would be completed. And with it, a free-market, capitalism-based economic system.

1991 sounds much more recent. But again, it may be closer than you realize. I mentioned earlier that Piotr, my translator and dinner companion, is roughly the same age as me, with kids back at home the same age as mine. However, very different than me, Piotr grew up in a Communist country and vividly recalled for us looking out his apartment window as a child watching bread lines gather outside the corner store. His childhood was very different than mine.

25 years ago, these men were living in a Communist country. Today, their reality in a free-market, capitalist economic system is very different.

And into this environment, I was invited to present the benefits and the invitation of minimalism. A task I do not take lightly.

Many in the audience could relate to my story of how possessions begin to distract us from meaning and happiness and fulfillment. I have spoken in numerous countries around the globe on this topic and found the message resonates wherever I go. Many would nod their head at the notion of closets too crammed and garages filled with excess possessions.

However, given the historical, political, and economic realities of this audience, I concluded the conversation from a new vantage point. Poland is not a nation that is over-steeped in conspicuous consumption… at least not yet, but personal disposal income continues to rise.

My message for the men in attendance that day? Take every advantage of your freedoms and entrepreneurial opportunities. However, in so doing, do not lose sight of the things that matter most. And keep your passions centered on pursuits that matter in the long run.

Following my presentations on Saturday, I sat down with the organizer of the event over dinner. A lovely meal surpassed only by the lovely company. Darek, the organizer of the conference, shared his appreciation with me for coming. More importantly, I was able to hear more about the important work his organization is doing in Central Europe building stronger families and healthier societies.

He asked me for my impression of his country. I told him it was beautiful and filled with rich history and examples of human resiliency. I also spoke to him about my conversations with Piotr—Poland’s past and its trajectory into the future.

And this is where, I think for maybe the first time, the importance and weight of the message of minimalism began to weigh on me even heavier than before.

“Joshua, can I tell you more about why I invited you here today,” Darek responded with a measured tone. From across the table, I could tell he was debating whether or not to share with me what he was thinking.

“Of course, please do.”

He began to answer, “When I was younger, I had an important mentor. He was a survivor of Auschwitz who would live almost his entire existence in an occupied Poland—first by the Germans and then by the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.”

“This man once made an observation to me I have never forgotten. After a trip he had taken to Western Europe, he pulled me aside and said,

‘I have come to realize that materialism holds people captive in many the same ways Communism does. Communism, by force, seeks to destroy personal identity. Materialism does the same. But materialism destroys personal identity by choice.’

“And that is why I wanted you here today. To inspire us, both as individuals and as a society, to not use our newfound freedom to acquire further bondage.”

In that moment, I realized he was right.

Minimalism is an important message. It frees up our most important resources to pursue things that matter. In this way, it is a very personal decision. One that I will continue encouraging each person to consider with their lives. Own less stuff, live more life. My mantra will remain the same.

However, let’s remember, this is not just a personal decision. This is also a societal movement that must be advanced and pushed forward. Minimalism is not just about regaining personal passion, it is about establishing a new identity—both as individuals and as a society.

Freedom is a gift. But our freedom is only as valuable as what we choose to pursue with it.