Michael Kindt's Blog, page 465

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"Yossarian was cold, too, and shivering uncontrollably. He felt goose pimples clacking all over him..."

"Yossarian was cold, too, and shivering uncontrollably. He felt goose pimples clacking all over him as he gazed down despondently at the grim secret Snowden had spilled all over the messy floor. It was easy to read the message in his entrails. Man was matter, that was Snowden's secret. Drop him out a window and he'll fall. Set fire to him and he'll burn. Bury him and he'll rot, like other kinds of garbage. That was Snowden's secret. Ripeness was all."

- Catch-22

What happened to the Snowdens of yesteryear?

Snowden took some shrapnel in a bomber over Italy. Yossarian was there and attempted to treat him, thinking the terrible gash on Snowden's leg was the only wound. They were still in the cramped, noisy plane. Snowden complained of being "cold, so cold" and Yossarian covered him with a parachute. That was when he noticed the gash on Snowden's side. Attempting to get a better look at this new wound, Yossarian tried to move the bloody shirt out of the way….and everything inside of Snowden: heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, intestines, spilled out of him. That was the "terrible secret", Snowden's terrible secret that he "spilled". It was the secret of life. We are, all of us, simply meat.

Did dinosaurs really once roam the earth?

They still do, in fact. They're called Republicans.

How do you shoot a rubber band?

With a Mossberg 500 "Persuader" shotgun:

was it seriously the terrorist who caused 9/11?

No, so yes. Conspiracies are invented to provide structure to a random and therefore terrifying universe. The idea that a dozen or so religious lunatics could cause so much destruction so easily, could change the very course of human history, is beyond horrible and difficult for many puny little human brains to grasp. So, a conspiracy is applied to make it seem like there's a plan, a reason behind it. But there isn't. It's just hatred and evil and nothing else.

Are alternate forms of sexuality ever going to be accepted as viable and normal?

No, so yes. As far as sexuality is concerned, we are still in the Middle Ages. We're gradually climbing out of it, though.

Dishonesty hour.

In which you ask me questions and I feed you lies. Think of me as your government. GO!

The Old Fashioned: World's Greatest Drink

So I'm drinking these and am in love. They're perfect for writing. I have one right here next to me. It is my friend and I have named him Steve.

I make them this way:

I teaspoon turbinado sugar on which I drizzle 3 or 4 drops of bitters (till the sugar is basically soaked). Then I stick in an orange slice and a cherry and muddle, which basically means lightly smash with a pestle since who has a muddler? Then I put in some ice and a shot and a half of whiskey, currently Powers Irish, but also rye or bourbon will work. Bourbon is more traditional, I understand.

Stir, stir, stir. Go to computer and write and drink until you feel silly and lose confidence in what you're writing.

Then post the entire episode, including the drink recipe, on Tumblr, marveling at how self-referential everything is.

Go to bed.

Watching a bunch of "Intervention"

It's much more honest in these later seasons than in the first. I hated it in the first season, because it was so full of shit. Little Johnny got straight A's, was the captain of the football team, was liked and loved by everyone, and would give you the shirt off his back. Then BAM! he's suddenly blowing some dude behind a dumpster for eight bucks so he can't get his fix. We have no idea what happened!

These people in the later seasons are more real and are damaged in some way like you and me and everyone else. Some of us damaged people choose to take drugs, and some of us aren't rich and so need a mom/girlfriend/wife/grandma to be co-dependent with us so we can keep taking drugs. Then we need that co-dependent person to be clueless and not realize that they are killing us. Then we need A&E to come along, make money by filming our pain and struggles, and giving us some really great treatment options in exchange.

Woo hoo!