Jonathan Janz's Blog, page 31

Fantastic New HOUSE OF SKIN Review!

Hey, All. Got an awesome new review from Literal Remains. Thought I’d post it. Editing my fifth novel right now. Better get back to it.

Stay real bruthas and sistas.

(I just wanted to see if I could write a blog post in under fifty words. I did it!)

http://www.literalremains.com/house-of-skin/

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“This is a great haunted house story. It’s a great haunted people story.” —Literal Remains

One Hundred Kisses

My wife’s always telling me I should post more about myself on here. She claims not everyone is as fixated on Stephen King and Richard Matheson as I am.

Could it be?

So before I go to bed to read the final pages of THE EXORCIST, I’ll share something I do every day. Well, almost every day.

No job on the planet is as important as being a parent. I pray every night to be a better dad, and every night I feel I’ve fallen short. I ache to be the dad that my three children deserve. I might not get much right, but I do make sure I do this:

One hundred kisses every night. For each kid. Sometimes it’s the forehead, other times (usually with my two-year-old daughter, who tends to get squirmy at around the twenty-four or twenty-five kiss mark) it’s the forearm. But I kiss them each a hundred times so they’ll have that before they fall asleep.

I love my kids more than I could explain with a lifetime of words. I’m blessed far more than I deserve.

And I love being their father. I feel like it’s what I was born to do.

That’s all for tonight.

 

The Sorrows by Jonathan Janz

Reblogged from Mika Reads Horror Fiction:

A satyr of Greek myths and legends haunts a secluded island in the debut novel by Jonathan Janz. Setting off with a quote from The Great God Pan (1890) by Arthur Machen, the Sorrows (2011, Samhain) proceeds to drag Pan's horns and hooves into the 21st century with laymonian gusto. Interspersed with backstory from the 1920s, the novel follows a pair of present-day composers and their associates as they seek the solitude of the island to compose a film soundtrack for an upcoming horror movie.

Read more… 600 more words

Stumbled across this review last night. I found it very well-written and thought it contained some cool insights. See what you think...

THE DOWNTON ABBEY WALKING DEAD: A Mash-Up Idea from a Guy Who Doesn’t Read Mash-Ups

Confession: the concept of mash-ups elicits a negative kneejerk response from me: vague annoyance. When I take a step back and analyze it, I really don’t have a specific reason for my response to things like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, and since I haven’t read that or any other mash-up, I admit that I haven’t given mash-ups a chance. And perhaps I should.

Apocalyptic and Addictive

What’s my point?

Well, the two shows I’ve been watching lately—the only two television shows I’ve watched in half a decade—are Downton Abbey and The Walking Dead. The shows don’t share many commonalities except for great writing, excellent direction, outstanding acting, fantastic theme music, pitch-perfect editing…

Okay, perhaps they do share some commonalities after all.

And despite the anachronistic problems a mash-up of the two might create, wouldn’t you like to see the following things (and please remember that I’m only halfway through Season Three of DT and halfway through Season Two of TWD, so I might be talking about people who have already been written out of the shows or torn apart by zombies)?

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“Brrrraaaaains!!!!”

The Dowager Countess being bitten by a zombie and pursuing her rival, Cousin Isobel Crawley, through the stately drawing rooms of Downton.

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“I hate to waste an arrow on you, but you’ve really got it coming.”

Norman Reedus putting a crossbow arrow right between an undead Mrs. Bates’s eyes. (Come on. You know you’d like to see her suffer more.)

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“DO YOU MIND?!?!?”

Carson demanding that the zombies show some decorum as they shamble into the parlor room during tea.

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“At least we’ll get to spend the next thirty seconds together in peace and happiness–that’s more than we’ve had in three seasons!”

Bates and Anna declaring their love while the undead batter and claw at their bedroom door. And really, that would be the only terrible thing left that hasn’t yet happened to Bates and Anna, so they might as well face a legion of zombies, right?

Where Our Heroes Make Their Last Stand

And could one conceive of a better last bastion than Downton Abbey itself? The place was practically constructed for a cataclysmic siege.

Okay, people. It’s time to make this happen. I’ll have my people on the phones with Julian Fellowes and Frank Darabont this afternoon. If all goes well, the project should gain traction for the upcoming fall season.

Wish me luck!

Public Service Message: THE EXORCIST

I’m reading THE EXORCIST right now. It started out decently, and though I didn’t think it was bad, I didn’t really see why it’s considered a classic.

I’m over halfway through the book now.

Now I see.

If you value your sleep, don’t read this book. It’s not perfect—I find myself not liking Chris (the mother) as much as I’m supposed to, and some of the early dialogue bugged me with its preciousness.

But Father Karras is an incredible character. The detective (Kinderman) is very cool too.

And the horror scenes? Good gravy.

I’ll tell you what I think of this thing when I’m done, but if it keeps going like it has over the past hundred pages or so…well, I doubt I’ll be sleeping much this weekend.

Wish me luck.

 

Top Six Underrated Quotes from THE BIG LEBOWSKI

I have a longer post about THE BIG LEBOWSKI that’ll be up soon, but for now, I thought I’d share my favorite six quotes (yes, the number six is completely arbitrary) from this amazing movie that few people talk about. I’ve had to forego about fifty of my favorite quotes (some famous, some not) because they contain a lot of profanity (which I avoid here, though not in my books). And If you’ve never seen the movie, stop reading now and go watch it. If you’ve watched it and don’t like it, stop reading now and never talk to me again. No, seriously. I mean it. Okay, well, if you like my books and don’t like THE BIG LEBOWSKI, I suppose I’ll be civil to you. Perhaps even cordial. But my civility and cordiality will be feigned.

Because I can never trust you. And I can certainly never love you.

On to the countdown!

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6. Walter Sobchak (John Goodman): “Smokey, this is not ‘Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.”

♦

5. The Dude talking to Maude Lebowski (Julianne Moore) after The Dude (Jeff Bridges) is assaulted by the chief of the Malibu Police Department…

Maude: “Now, what happened to your face? Did Jackie Treehorn do that as well?”

The Dude: “Ah, no, that was the chief of police of Malibu. A real reactionary.”

♦

4. In the home of Arthur Digby Sellers…

Walter: (looks at Sellers, who lies wheezing in an iron lung) “Does he still write?”

Pilar, the Housekeeper: “Oh no. He has health problems.”

♦

3. Walter: “Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!”

♦

2. The landlord asking The Dude for his delinquent rent check…

Landlord: “Dude, uh…tomorrow’s already the 10th.”

Dude: “Far out, man.”

♦

1. Talking to Bunny Lebowski (Tara Reid) poolside whilst she paints her nails…

Bunny: “Blow on them.”

The Dude: “You want me to blow on your toes?”

Bunny: “I can’t blow that far.”

The Dude: (looks at man lying unconscious on a pool raft) “Are you sure he won’t mind?”

Bunny: “Uli doesn’t care about anything. He’s a nihilist.”

The Dude: “Ah, that must be exhausting.”

♦

*End list*

So there you have it, folks. Six great moments from a movie whose greatness I’ll soon talk more about. In case you’re wondering, my very favorite exchanges in the film contain some profanity, and if I had to choose two I’d pick the “I Am a Walrus” scene/argument and the Malibu Police Chief’s warning to Lebowski (followed by The Dude’s infamous answer).

Now go bowl a round or two. Or listen to some Creedence.

Or simply abide.

 

Brian Keene Names THE SORROWS the Best Horror Novel of 2012!

*Brian Keene’s Ten Best Books of 2012 can be found here.

Forgive me if this post sounds awkward. I sometimes get awkward when I receive praise because, well, I don’t expect it. Don’t get me wrong—I love it when people say kind things to me or, in this case, when they say kind things about my work. I just feel…surprised. Like every writer, I get excited when someone likes my work, but I always seem to struggle for the rights words with which to respond.

See what I mean about sounding awkward?

So when one of my favorite writers in the world—a writer whose work I was studying as recently as last week—names my debut novel THE SORROWS one of the ten best books of 2012 and calls it the best horror novel of the year, I really don’t know how to respond. I suppose “Thank you” would be appropriate, but the phrase is so overused and threadbare that it scarcely holds any meaning. We say “Thank you” when someone hands us food at a drive-thru. And this is obviously a much bigger deal than that.

Brian Keene

Perhaps a flawed analogy would work best here. Imagine you’re a minor league baseball player in double-A who gets a surprise June call-up to the big leagues when the major league team suffers a rash of injuries. You’re awestruck, frightened, and more than a little overwhelmed. You doubt that you belong and suspect you’re really not very good after all, and your inclusion on the major league roster is one big practical joke that the entire league is in on. But you do your best, you work your hardest, and end up happy with your first year in major league baseball.

Then, at year’s end, one of the best pitchers in the league—for the sake of the flawed analogy, I’ll pick Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers—approaches you and tells you he thinks a lot of your pitching. You know that you should have the confidence and coolness to take such a compliment in stride, that you should nod politely and tell him you appreciate it, but the fact is you simply can’t act cool and unmoved.

Because it means so much more than that.

I don’t write for awards or accolades. I write primarily because the stories in my head have to be told, because I believe we should use whatever talents we’ve been given, because I believe writing is one of the finest pursuits anyone can undertake, because it sets a good example for my children, because I believe in the definition of fiction (Telling lies about people who never existed to tell us the truth about ourselves), because I believe that writing can illuminate human nature and act as a redemptive force, and because writing is a natural extension of my full-time job as a teacher. Sure, if I make money at it, that’s cool too, but money isn’t what drives me.

Having said all that, it is still a huge thrill to have someone whose opinion I value so highly say such kind things about my work. So I’m sorry if this sounded awkward or contradictory or whatever, but the truth is that I poured a great deal of myself into THE SORROWS, and the fact that Brian Keene, one the best writers alive, thought I did a good job means the world to me.

So thank you, Brian. You’re an incredible writer and someone who has already taught me a great deal.

Audio Version of A Gathering of Crows

And if any of you haven’t read Keene’s zombie classic THE RISING…why not? If zombies aren’t your thing, don’t worry. A GATHERING OF CROWS is one of the strangest, most wonderful depictions of good vs. evil you’re likely to find. And if a scrappy, erudite outcast Amish protagonist doesn’t intrigue you (and if he doesn’t, you likely don’t have a pulse), how about DARK HOLLOW, the book that helped guide me as I edited THE SORROWS?

I’ll bring this bizarre thank-you post to a close by telling you that you can find THE SORROWS here, here, and here. And once you’ve read that one, you might want to check out HOUSE OF SKIN too.

And read Brian Keene if you haven’t. You won’t regret it.

My Next Keene Read

“Ball” or “How My Son and I Recreate the Violent Glory Days of the Roman Coliseum”

My Basement

I’m sweating as I write this, but not because keystrokes are gargantuan tasks or due to the mental energy I’m expending. In fact, the only real mental energy I’m using up right now is the effort it’s taking to block out the Pandora station my wife chose to play before she left to pick up groceries. It’s called Family Christmas, and though ordinarily I’d love to hear the Disney characters belt out “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” (and don’t even ask me to show you my Goofy impression—seriously, I could get voiceover work right now if the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Goofy called in with laryngitis), the cacophony of Donald Duck squawking out Christmas carols makes it awfully difficult to concentrate.

Ah. The song just ended. Now we’ve got Frank Sinatra singing “Let It Snow,” which is a slight improvement (though I can’t help but wonder if there are veiled mob threats imbedded in the seemingly innocuous lyrics).

But like I said earlier…I’m sweating. The reason for my perspiration is a game my son and I play called “Ball.” Wild, ferocious, and occasionally dangerous, Ball is one of my absolute favorite pastimes.

It involves a small, durable (note: VERY durable) inflatable ball (ours has Winnie the Pooh holding a jar of honey…you know, because you don’t get manlier than Winnie the Pooh), the basement landing, and our gladiatorial spirits. You think I’m exaggerating? If you could see us play this game, you’d swear you’d been transported back to the time of bloodthirsty crowds, wronged generals, and depraved emperors.

My Son

Dash (code name for my seven-year-old boy and fellow gladiator) begins the game by tossing the ball against the wall of the landing (the wall faces the main basement family room). You score by hitting the wall with the ball. Sometimes we riff off of this and award him points for blocking my attempts. Dash attempts to further complicate the scoring process and thus enhance his prospects of conquest by ratifying the “Ball” bylaws with mid-game amendments (“No, Daddy. Here’s another way I can score: if I throw the ball and it hits you in the face, I get five points,” or “If I bounce the ball off the wall and catch it, I get twenty points and you go back to zero. And I get to eat Doritos for dinner tonight”).

The Weapon of the Modern Gladiator

The game involves strange bounces, a lot of wrestling, Dash vaulting over furniture to retrieve the ball, Dash getting furious with me if I score more than two or three in a row, and Dash knocking me senseless with a blindside tackle.

Why, you might be wondering, am I blogging about Ball?

Because I’m really, really happy. And exhausted. Playing with my kids tends to have those dual effects on me. So now my baby daughter is waking up from her prolonged nap. My wife and my older daughter will be home any minute with Christmas groceries.

Dash Finishing Me Off

And I return you to your regularly scheduled programming. On our stereo Nat King Cole is singing “Oh Holy Night.” My son is tickling me to get me off the computer. My awakening daughter will soon be clamoring for Keputch (her name for ketchup).

And yes, we feed her more than just ketchup!

If she behaves.

THE SORROWS Named One of the Top Five Novels of the Year!

Gef at the Wag the Fox book blog has been announcing his top fives of 2012 in multiple categories this week. Today, he announced his top five novels of the year. Here’s what he had to say about THE SORROWS…

“The Sorrows by Jonathan Janz - Samhain’s line of horror novels is handily picking up where Dorchester’s Leisure line disastrously left off, and this haunted castle novel was a real stand out. I have Janz’s followup novel, House of Skin, and I’ve read a couple reviews that lead me to think it’s better.”

You can read the full list right here, which includes Harbor from John Adjvide Lindqvist (Let the Right One In). Can you imagine how excited I feel about my debut novel being mentioned on a Best-of-the-Year blog AND sharing the list with such incredible writers? Are you imagining it? Okay, now quadruple that and you’ll be in the neighborhood. Maybe.

You can purchase your copy of THE SORROWS right here and HOUSE OF SKIN here. And feel free to mention the book to your friends. I’m offering the first twenty readers who refer other readers to my work a free in-home body hair removal, eyelash extension, or termite inspection. But you’ve got to act fast!

Another Satisfied Customer

 

 

Downton Abbey

Here’s an unsolicited insight into my psyche and emotions: every single thing that I do must be worthwhile to me. That doesn’t make me unique, of course, but the rub is in one’s definition of worthwhile. For me, this magical word means that an endeavor somehow brings about a positive ultimate effect. Whether it’s enriching my family, nurturing me spiritually, teaching my children, strengthening my bond with my wife, expanding my mind, making the world better (even in some minute way), or becoming healthier, the things that I do must be productive or life-affirming in some way.

What on earth does this have to do with a BBC television series?

Brilliance

I’ll do my best to make the connection. I resist watching television because most shows are a waste of life. That doesn’t mean that I hold those who watch Jersey Shore in contempt or anything else so dismissive or unkind—it simply means that shows like that offer me nothing redemptive, nothing enriching. There are other shows I avoid watching simply (and ironically, I realize) because I know I’ll enjoy them. You see, a television show equals a commitment. I know that if I start watching Sherlock, which by all accounts is brilliantly written, acted, and directed, I will be hooked. The fact that absorbing the show would, subconsciously, make me a better storyteller is sometimes enough to justify it. But I need a little bit more irrational personal justification to commit to watching it.

I started watching The Walking Dead last week because I can lift weights and/or run while I view it. There! I think. I’m improving my body and my health and improving my storytelling craft simultaneously! The aggregate of these positive effects means that The Walking Dead, in my own strange mind, is a justifiable endeavor. I want to learn more about the characters, which means I want to watch more episodes, and that in turn magnetizes the weight bench and the treadmill so that a television show about zombies becomes symbiotically linked to my physical well-being. I realize how stupid that probably sounds to you, but in my mind it makes perfect sense.

McGonagall on Sabbatical

Which brings us to Downton Abbey.

It’s not exactly the kind of show you watch when you work out. There aren’t a whole lot of adrenaline rush scenes or moments of high intensity butt-kicking (unless you count verbal butt-whuppins). So I can’t watch it while I work out. It’s too sophisticated for my kids (who are seven, five, and one), and anyway, they’re already my justifications for watching movies like The Incredibles, Tangled, and Toy Story 2 over and over.

Ahhh, but my wife…?

Yes, I realized the other day. It’s just the sort of beautiful convergence of our tastes. We loved the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice (a future blog post, no doubt), my wife loves Titanic, and I’m a sucker for Jane Austen‘s fiction. And though I know I’m mixing eras here, Downton Abbey does possess a similar vibe to the aforementioned works. So we watched it last night.

And now I’m obsessed.

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This show crackles with intensity. The scenery is breathtaking, the period details impeccable. Each character is sharply drawn and distinct, and there are multiple story lines interweaving in fascinating ways. What I love most, I think, is the dialogue—both what is said and what is left unsaid. Indirect dialogue like the kind in Downton Abbey offers something for every storyteller, regardless of one’s chosen genre. I love books, movies, shows, etc. that leave me itching to write—not to play copycat or to parrot anything specific; rather, a great story inspires me to tell one of my own. And subconsciously, I know a great story will permeate my thinking in the most delicious and unexpected ways, which is part of the wonder and joy and discovery of writing.

So tonight my wife and I will experience Episode Two of Season One. We’ll spend time together and bond through the show. I’ll be entertained, intellectually stimulated, and very possibly, moved. There’s a certain Bates character to whom I’m already deeply attached. I want to know what will happen with him. I’m dying for him to be treated with dignity. I’m rooting for him as though I’ve known him for a dozen years.

A Haunting Character

And as if this weren’t all enough, the show comes with a haunting main theme. Here it is…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7ULKKJ5UpI

Now I’m off to work on my vampire western. And if you can believe it, somewhere in the deepest recesses of my mind, I’ll be mulling over Mr. Bates and how he can help me better draw my own characters.