Icy Sedgwick's Blog, page 56

How to write a Western from the UK

When The Guns of Retribution was first published, I got quite a few questions from prospective readers who wanted to know if it was a Western, or an adventure story, or a pulp tale.

Really, it’s all three.

I actually started describing it as a pulp adventure in the Old West, just to cover those bases. Readers seemed more interested in the adventure part than the Western part!

But I know what you’re thinking. How can a female writer from the cold north east of England possibly write a Western about a male bounty hunter in Arizona?

A Western is pretty much historical fiction.

So the same rules apply. As it happens, I have a bit of a thing about writing historical fiction. Grave robbers, the inmates of Bedlam, ships lost at sea, bullies at the Charterhouse School – I just love setting stories in the past. I’ve loved history since I was little and I enjoy the research just as much as I enjoy the actual writing part.

As it was, I never much cared for Westerns as films, with the exception of Back to the Future III. But then I was recommended Tombstone, and my entire opinion changed. It’s an awful film in terms of acting and structure, but it’s just so damned enjoyable. Many of the early Westerns are far from historically accurate and paint a mythologised picture of the Old West. That said, they’re a good way to get a feel for a period. I actually stuck to later Westerns, such as Pale Rider and the 3:10 to Yuma remake, which at least make more of an effort to be historically accurate.

I kind of wish that Slow West had been around when I’d been writing. Michael Fassbender would have been perfect inspiration.

So where do you start? At the library!

The internet holds many wonders but the library is still the best research tool when you’re dealing with a period so far outside your own lifetime.

While I was researching The Guns of Retribution, I read general histories of the Old West, histories specific to Arizona and the Apaches, and other Western novels. Yes, fiction can still be research.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to read, both primary and secondary sources.

Primary sources for the Old West are a little limited in the UK, since we don’t have the same level of access to contemporary newspapers, diaries or letters etc.. But many are reproduced in secondary sources like history books and biographies. The Old West has been a popular choice for TV documentaries too. There’s always the possibility for the bias of the researchers to colour the information, but the visuals help contextualise the period.

Visit your locations if you can.

All that remains of Aztec, AZ

I would love to have visited places in Arizona but my budget didn’t stretch far enough! Instead I had to rely on Google Maps! Many of the ghost towns can still be found using the aerial mode, but Google Maps is good for getting a feel for the landscape.

It would be no good me setting a novel in Arizona and then describing lush green fields or subtropical paradises, only to find scrub land and canyons when double-checking the facts. Retribution and Sandwater, the two towns featured in The Guns of Retribution, are entirely made up, but they’re loosely based on actual towns. It might be a pulp novella but I didn’t want people to read it and say it was factually inaccurate!

The sequel, To Kill A Dead Man, is set in Colorado, a silver mine is central to the plot. I spent a lot of time reading up on the history of silver mining, and I spent hours on Google Earth to locate the right spot for the story! The geography had to match the narrative.

So why might you want to read The Guns of Retribution?

Hopefully this post has convinced you that a pulp adventure story can still be a worthwhile read. Besides, there are guns. There are gallows. There’s a femme fatale. There’s a bad guy you’ll want to punch in the face. What’s not to like?

The Guns of Retribution is available for the Kindle through the Beat to a Pulp in the UK and the US.

If you want to be convinced of my pulp storytelling credentials, then sign up to my mailing list and get a free copy of my short story, One Woman Cure. It’s available in your choice of format, from PDF to MOBI and ePUB.

It originally appeared in the Short Stack anthology, which was reviewed here – with glowing words for my story!

Just go here and sign up, and all will be revealed!

 

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Is The Hateful Eight a Tarantino Triumph?

It’s taken a while for The Hateful Eight to see its UK release, compared to the US release, but by God, it’s definitely been worth the wait! After the relative disappointment that was Django Unchained (for me, at least), I was half-hesitant and half-excited to see Tarantino do another Western, but thankfully I was not let down.

I’m glad that people are starting to talk about Westerns more, and I found too interesting articles online that discuss the potential resurgence of the genre. Writer/director S. Craig Zahler, the man behind 2015’s Bone Tomahawk, doesn’t think that the genre will see too much new love since any success for The Hateful Eight or The Revenant will be put down to their directors or stars, rather than the genre itself. You can read more of his comments here. Rolling Stone, on the other hand, think that Westerns have never been more relevant, which you can read here.

Is The Hateful Eight actually any good though?

In short, YES! I thoroughly enjoyed it. It might be just over three hours long but unlike some of his earlier films, it doesn’t drag at any point. As ever his dialogue is snappy and pithy, though I’m pretty sure he could have cut down the amount of uses for a particularly offensive word he seems to love using. Tim Roth absolutely steals the film, though Michael Madsen seemed to be criminally underused. Either that, or he’s a one-trick pony and I’d previously ascribed more talent to him than he possibly has.

I’ve filmed a Youtube review, which you can watch below. Let me know what you think by giving the video a thumbs up, and considering subscribing to my channel!

Have you seen The Hateful Eight, and did you enjoy it? Let me know in the comments below!

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Has Tarantino has made the Western popular again?

Looks like Quentin Tarantino might be making the Western popular again with the release of The Hateful Eight! I saw it last night and by God, it was marvellous, but I’ll be doing a video review so I’ll talk more about it then. That was more just a passing comment before I get to the real point of this post!

Not just any Western…this is a WEIRD Western!

The sequel to my pulp Western, The Guns of Retribution, is coming soon! To Kill A Dead Man is set six months after the events of Guns, and bounty hunter Grey O’Donnell is on the trail of another outlaw, bound for Colorado. Something unnatural lurks in the woods outside of Bentley, and Grey is persuaded to get involved in the mystery when Peggy, the love of his life, goes missing. It all points to the abandoned silver mine and what, or who, is buried there…

If you like weird Westerns, then To Kill A Dead Man will be right up your alley! You don’t need to have read Guns to enjoy its undead Western action, but if you’d like to, you can grab it from Amazon. I’ve also included the first chapter as a sample in Dead Man’s Hand. The collection is normally 99c but you’ll get it for free if you sign up for my mailing list, which you can do so here!

If you’d like to see some of the images that inspired To Kill A Dead Man, then I have a board here on Pinterest.

Not a Western, but still pretty weird

This is about as far from the Western as you can get, but I’ve also got a short story appearing in the forthcoming Bloody Parchment anthology, Beachfront Starter Home, Good Bones. There’s a blog post here about it, and if it’s anything like previous BP anthologies it’ll be a good one!

My story is ‘Something Wicked This Way Slithered’, and is set in wartime Britain. It features a creepy mummy in a dank country house – well it is one of my stories!

I’ll post more details when I get them but isn’t that a fabulous cover? If you can’t wait that long, then I had a werewolf story, ‘Protection’, in a previous Bloody Parchment anthology, The Root Cellar and Other Stories, which you can grab from Amazon or Kobo.

Do you like weird Westerns, or have you seen The Hateful Eight yet? Let me know in the comments!

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5 Ways To Make Resolutions That Stick

We’re just four days into the New Year! If you’re a writer, you’ve probably made a dozen New Year’s resolutions related to your craft. You might find that you’re struggling to stick to them now that you’re away from your ‘holiday bubble’.

Others have resolved to visit the gym three times a week, or to buy fewer pairs of shoes. But you’ve resolved to write 1000 words a day, finish writing eight novels, or to hit the best-seller list by the end of the year.

We do it every year, and we usually fail every year, making us feel worse, not better, about our writing.

So how can we make resolutions that we’ll be able to stick to?

1) Be realistic

We often try to over-reach ourselves. So don’t think of it as a resolution. Think of it as a goal. It’s what you’re aiming to do, not what you will do. By giving yourself this flexibility, you’re more likely to stick to whatever framework you set yourself.

So your phrasing might be “I intend to finish writing one novel of 70,000 words or more” rather than “I will write a trilogy of 100,000 word novels”.

2) Don’t try to change your habits overnight

It’s no use telling yourself that you will write a 100,000 word novel by the end of April if you only have time to write around 3,000 words a week. If you push yourself to work beyond your time constraints or work patterns, you may find you drop behind within a few days. Soon you’ll lose the motivation to write at all. Keep your resolutions (or goals) within your usual habits and you’ll find it easier to keep going.

3) Your resolutions don’t have to be time dependent

We always think our resolutions have to run from January to December but that’s highly unrealistic. We have no way of knowing where we’ll be twelve months from now. So why not set quarter resolutions?

Try setting yourself a particular word count to hit between now and the end of March. If you hit it with ease, you can raise it for the end of June, and so on. If you can’t hit it, then you can always reduce your count for the next one until it’s manageable.

4) Think beyond the resolution

Try setting yourself an additional goal beyond the resolution itself. In psychological terms, this links situations with actions. So you might change your resolution from “I will finish my book and send it to an agent” to “If I complete my novel and receive positive beta feedback, then I will start sending it to agents”.

It breaks the resolution down into manageable stages and gives you something to do when you’ve actually fulfilled the resolution. The end action also gives you an extra incentive.

5) Form a habit

Remember that you’re trying to form a new habit by forming a resolution. The only way for something to become a habit is if you do it! Sit down, start typing, or researching – whatever it is you need to do to make your resolution a reality.

The more regularly you do it, the better a chance you stand at actually making your resolution stick. Your resolution might be to write more, and you might have a spare ten minutes at lunch time, so maybe you might want to write 500 words every lunchtime. So get on and do it.

What are your resolutions – and have you broken them already?

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5 Ways to Get Back into Your Writing Routine

Sticking to a well-honed writing routine over Christmas is virtually impossible. Putting aside all of the time commitments involved in buying and wrapping presents, visiting friends and family, and preparing all that food, even if you do manage to sneak in some writing time, you’ll no doubt be met with cries of “Oh you’re not writing, are you? But it’s Christmas.”

Writers are lucky in that their chosen line of work is not only fun, it also offers a high degree of escapism, but sadly, many non-writers still think we’re chained to our laptops.

Of course, the problem you face after any interruption to a routine is finding a way back into it. Christmas offers a particularly large interruption due to the length of time it seems to last, and the fact that you’ll be trying to get back into other routines, not just those involving writing. Still, it must be done, so here are five suggestions of things you can do to get back into the swing of things!

1) Write ANYTHING for Ten Minutes

Yes, this one is fairly self-explanatory. Choose anything as a prompt, or just simply write about what you got for Christmas. It doesn’t matter what you’re writing, just make sure it’s constant for ten minutes. Don’t worry about what you’re writing, just write without pauses. Use a timer, or a website like Write or Die to keep you on track. It’s amazing how much simply writing to get the words out will get you back into the habit of writing.

2) Use a Current Project As a Prompt

If you’re in the middle of a longer project, try writing a flash or short story about a character other than the protagonist. If you don’t have something on the go, write about a character from a story you’ve already finished.

By National Telefilm Associates (Screenshot of the movie) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

3) Use Movies to Inspire You

Chances are, you may have watched some great movies over the Christmas period. Write a missing scene, prologue or ending from a movie of your choice. Prose is fine, though if you want to write it in screenplay format that could keep you on your toes! It’s always beneficial to try writing in a different form to the one you’re used to.

I used It’s A Wonderful Life to write an alternative film noir style story. You can find ‘Redemption’ here!

4) Revisit Old Ideas

If you keep a notebook (and you should), flick through and browse those ideas you’ve jotted down in the past years. If none of them strike you as being good fodder for a flash, short story or even a novel, then choose a sentence at random and those that as a prompt for a story, poem or even a blog post.

5) Let the World Inspire You

Re-read something you’ve actually finished. Remember why you wrote it, and how much you enjoyed finishing it. Go for a walk and let your brain absorb everything around you – you might even do this just before you go out to check out the sales. Get back to your writing area feeling refreshed and ready to write!

Make sure you make a concerted effort to get back into your writing routine, but don’t push yourself too hard or your brain will rebel against you. Try one (or all, if you’re feeling brave) of these suggestions and see how it goes. 2016 is almost upon us and it would be a good way to establish a routine for the coming year if you got back into one now!

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How are you planning to get back into your writing routine after Christmas? Please share you thoughts in the comments section below!

Image courtesy of Tamara Polajnar.

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4 Christmas Horror Films for the Festive Season

Are you tired of sappy Christmas films? Let’s be honest, not everyone wants to watch Home Alone, A Muppet’s Christmas Carol and Elf every year, and if you’re anything like me, you’re quite happy to embrace a spot of horror over the holidays.

Halloween and Friday the 13th might have the monopoly on franchises, but how often does Christmas get a horror overhaul? I’ve already looked at Krampus as this year’s offering, so here are three other films you might want to try!

Black Christmas (1974)

Black Christmas was remade in 2006 but the remake almost unilaterally only gets one star anywhere it’s reviewed. In fact, a lot of people even forget that the remake exists. So do yourself a favour and watch the original instead, which at least features Margot Kidder being totally awesome.

You’ve heard that famous urban legend, about the baby sitter who gets threatening phone calls, until she realises the murderer is in the house with her. Well Black Christmas takes it one step further, and sets the story in a sorority house. A deranged murderer lurks in their house, stalking and killing them in turn.

It’s tense, and helped set the stage for the slasher cycle that would make an appearance in 1978 with Halloween.

I also found the full version on YouTube so enjoy!

Silent Night, Bloody Night (1972)

Two years earlier, more Christmas mayhem kicks off when a man inherits a former asylum-turned-family home. Problem is, the inmates aren’t far away. Silent Night, Bloody Night has a slightly convoluted plot, involving family secrets mixed up with town secrets, but I’ve seen worse and it definitely makes the most of its Christmas Eve setting. It’s definitely not a film where you’ll see the twist ending coming.

It’s another tense, atmospheric gem that benefits from its pre-slasher status. As with Black Christmas, the full version is also available on YouTube!

“All Through the House” from Tales From The Crypt (1972)

I’ve always had a soft spot for the Amicus portmanteau films, because the segments can often be, quite frankly, utterly bonkers. A lot of their films, including Torture Garden (1967), The House That Dripped Blood (1971) and Dr Terror’s House of Horrors (1965), have an overarching narrative which links the loose short stories together.

The basic plot of Tales from the Crypt sees five strangers encounter the Crypt Keeper, who tells them all how they’ll die. “All Through the House” is genuinely bizarre, featuring a murderous Joan Collins being chased around her house by a homicidal Santa. Not really something you see every day. It’s only ten minutes long, and I found it on YouTube too!

Treevenge

Speaking of YouTube, there is one last little gem I’ll share with you. It’s definitely NSFW and it’s only 16 minutes long, but have you ever wondered if Christmas trees can feel? Wonder no longer!

Have you seen any of these films, or do you prefer more traditional Christmas fare? Let me know in the comments!

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Christmas Ghost Story in the West – Flash Fiction

There can’t be many things more welcoming than a roaring fire in the middle of winter. Snow lay heaped in piles outside, but we warmed ourselves in front of the small parlour’s hearth. A grandfather clock in the corner ticked away the minutes, and dull chatter floated through from the main bar of the saloon next door.

“My momma always brought a fir tree into the house for Christmas,” said Billy. His eyes shone with whisky’s fire, and he smiled. “My daddy thought it was dumb but my momma insisted. Said if it was good enough for Queen Victoria, it was good enough for her.”

“Mine too. Said that’s what everyone did back in the old country,” I replied. My mother was mighty keen on keeping that English tradition going, even in the middle of Arizona. I spent hours trekking through the woods up in the hills looking for the right tree.

“Christmas was the only time the whole family got together. Christmas, and funerals,” said Billy. “My uncle used to get us round the fire, and tell ghost stories. Say, do you know any?”

“I’m not sure I do,” I replied.

“You must know one! Come on, boss, it’d be just like my ol’ family Christmas. It ain’t right without a Christmas ghost story.”

Billy stared at me with that wide-eyed smile of his, and what can I say? I couldn’t refuse.

“I can’t tell you stories, but I sure could tell you somethin’ strange as happened to me one year.”

“You seen a ghost?”

“I do believe I did. See, my grandma came over to America with my folks, and she always used to tell me stories. I never knew what was real and what she made up, but she always said the dead carry lanterns. Big ol’ heavy lanterns, with a flickering green light inside, so they can light their way to the other side.”

“That’s creepy.” Billy’s smile faltered, and he swirled the dregs of his coffee around his mug.

“That’s what she said. I never paid it no mind, she said all kinds of crazy things, y’know? Anyway. A few years back, I must’ve been about fifteen, I went up to the Apache lands to do some tradin’ for the town. I did my business, and headed back to town just after it got dark.”

I knocked back the last of my own coffee, feeling the warm gritty liquid slide down my throat. Billy stared at me, those whisky fire eyes eager for more of the story.

“I remember ridin’ back, the snow reflectin’ the moonlight so it was clear as day, when I saw someone by the side of the trail. When I got up close, it was a young woman, just standin’ there in the snow. Pretty little gal, though not a real beauty like Peggy Marsden. The little lady was just a shade too pale, her big eyes dark in that white face of hers.”

“What was she doin’ out there?”

“I asked her. She didn’t hear me at first, just looked at me like she’d never seen a man before. I asked her if she needed help, and eventually she said she was lost. She didn’t know her name or where she lived, so I offered to take her into town. She wouldn’t get on the horse, but just walked alongside, holdin’ on to the bridle.”

I shivered. I hadn’t thought about this in thirteen years, and come to think of it, Billy was the first person I’d told.

“We got down the trail, right to where it forks in two, and she just stopped. One road went to town, the other led to the river. A few folks had farms along the river road, and when she pointed to the signpost, I figured maybe she belonged to one of them, and she’d realised where she was.

“It took me a couple of minutes to realise she was pointing at the bottom of the signpost. Somethin’ lay in a heap, covered in snow. She kept starin’ at me, and jabbin’ her finger, so I got off the horse and looked. I think my heart stopped for a minute when I brushed the snow off a cold, dead face. The same face that belonged to the girl I found by the side of the trail.”

Billy gasped. I nodded, staring into the fire. The warmth of those flames did nothing to banish the chill I felt just thinking about that poor little lady.

“I turned to look at her, and she just stood there, starin’ down at me. She was finally lookin’ at me, instead of through me, and my heart just broke to see her lookin’ so sad. But afore I could say anythin’ she brought an old lantern from behind her back. A green flame flickered behind the glass, and she walked away from me. I kept watchin’ that flame until it disappeared into the night.”

“What did you do?” asked Billy.

“I dug her body out of the snow and rode into town. Told the marshall I came across her as I was ridin’ home. Turns out she’d been out lookin’ for a Christmas tree for her momma when a passin’ gang came across her. They dumped her body after they killed her.”

“That’s awful, boss,” said Billy. He stared into the fire. “Do you think she ever got to the other side?”

“I hope she did, otherwise that poor little gal’s still wanderin’ around out there.”

“I guess at least someone found her.”

“True. If I hadn’t found her then, she might’ve been there ‘til spring. As it was, a posse caught up with the gang. Some hung, some went to Yuma.”

Billy picked up his whisky.

“Little miss, if you’re listenin’, merry Christmas.” He raised a glass to the lost soul of Retribution. We toasted her journey to the other side, and drank in silence. I thought of her, and Peggy, and everyone else I’d known, and wished them all a merry Christmas too.

Merry Christmas from me and my bounty hunter, Grey O’Donnell! If you enjoyed this story, then his book, The Guns of Retribution, is available in Kindle format from Amazon US and Amazon UK.

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Did the Krampus movie disappoint?

I went to see Krampus on Saturday, and I’m pleased to say I wasn’t disappointed! I wrote last week about his origins, and the film sticks to them in as many ways as it can, although it does move the events to Christmas Eve, instead of Krampusnacht (5 December). I’m actually quite surprised that a film like this would even get made now, but it’s a good antidote to the typical saccharine fare that starts clogging up the TV schedules from the end of November (such as Elf, which I hate. Read this post for an exceptional analysis of exactly WHY it sucks)

I actually filmed a short five minute vlog about it, which you can watch below! Or you can read a text review, if you’re not into video.

Krampus: The Review

The film tells the story of Max Engel, a young boy whose Christmas wish is for his family to enjoy a nice holiday, the way that they used to. Sadly the trouble starts when their relatives come to stay, including a shotgun-toting uncle who wishes his two daughters were boys, a young baby, and a nitpicking great aunt. So far, so National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. The horrid antics of the tomboy cousins prompt Max to retract his Christmas wish, and he tears up his letter to Santa, throwing the scraps out of the window.

A mysterious storm rolls in, and the family become besieged in a house with no heating, electricity or water. Max’s sister Beth heads out in search of her boyfriend, and so the fight for survival begins. From this point on, the film veers into survival horror territory, with the family members falling prey to the mysterious intruders in the house. Max’s German grandmother eventually tells them of her own dealings with Krampus, and the film veers into a gorgeous animated section that brings the dark fairy tale to life. Facing off against a pack of evil gingerbread men, murderous teddy bears and elves that look like members of Finnish metal band Lordi, the family decide to make a break for it.

Christmas elves….or Lordi?

I’ll be honest, I don’t like Christmas films, though I make exceptions for Die Hard and the recent Jim Carrey version of A Christmas Carol. So I went in to Krampus with high expectations. How exactly can you face off against an ancient spirit and expect to win? The family start off as reasonably obnoxious, with the exception of Max and his grandmother, who are the warm heart around which the rest of the film revolves. The characters gradually become more tolerable, until you realise you’re actually rooting for them. Trouble is, Krampus punishes those who have lost the Christmas spirit, and while this family have a strong desire to survive, they never regain that spirit.

Krampus knows if you’ve been naughty

Krampus is interesting on several levels, not least its opening sequence, which depicts the violence, mayhem and stampede of Christmas shopping at its absolute worst, set to It’s Beginning to Look A Lot like Christmas by Bing Crosby. Christmas lost its own spirit when it became a commercial exercise, and it feels like the film is making a fairly strong point. We’re all guilty to losing the Christmas spirit. Still, Krampus is also a horror film, and while it’s not as gory as I’d been led to believe it was, it features an array of nasty creatures, and no guarantee that anyone will survive.

I really enjoyed it, and actually found parts of the film surprisingly tense. I award it 8 out of 10!

Have you seen Krampus? If so, what did you think? Let me know in the comments!

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The Priest Hole – Friday Flash

By Quodvultdeus (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/b...)], via Wikimedia Commons

Pete threw down the EMF meter in disgust. The needle lay at the neutral end of the scale. Six hours of staring at it, and the damn thing refused to move. He hoped he could find the receipt when he got home.

Pete made another circuit of the room. His objects remained where he’d planted them. No footprints disturbed the flour sprinkled across the floorboards. The thermometer wouldn’t budge below a consistent 22°C.

He yanked open the door and stomped into the corridor. A trail of flour followed him down the hall.

“Hello? Who’s there? Is that a spirit?”

A voice called from the library. Melanie. The supposed psychic who called him in on the job to accompany her. Oh Bettley Hall is definitely haunted, she’d said. I felt a real presence when I went to see Lady Maude, she’d said. I’m sure we’ll have success this time, she’d said.

“No, Mel, it’s just me,” he replied.

“Oh.”

Pete pushed open the door to the library. Melanie sat cross-legged on the floor, a ouija board laid out in front of her. She sat at the northern point of a square formed along with her three assistants. The teenagers kept their black hair long and straight, and wore identical black outfits. They turned their sullen gazes towards him.

“Any luck?” he asked.

“Not as yet, although I’m still hopeful,” replied Melanie.

“I thought you said you’d felt a presence,” said Pete.

“I did. I can’t understand it, I thought we would have made contact by now. But there’s still time,” said Melanie.

“Still time,” echoed her assistants.

“It’s nearly dawn. We’ve been here for hours. Surely, if something was going to happen, it would have happened by now?”

“It’s your negative energy, that’s the problem. You’ve chased it away.”

“Oh really? Maybe I should go into exorcisms then.”

Melanie pouted. She leaned in toward the ouija board. Her assistants did the same, and they all laid their fingers on the glass.

“Would you mind leaving the room? I don’t want your negative energy blocking the spirit,” said Melanie.

Pete rolled his eyes and left the library. He walked back down the corridor to the morning room. Lady Maude claimed most incidents happened there. Disembodied voices, orbs, cold spots, floating body parts – Pete couldn’t think of a typical symptom of a haunting she hadn’t listed.

He retrieved the EMF meter from the floor under the table. He switched on his digital camera and waved the meter over it. The needle flickered, and dropped back to zero when he turned the camera off.

“So at least you’re working,” he murmured.

Pete checked his watch. Only an hour until dawn.

“Seriously, is there anybody there?” he called.

Nothing. The EMF meter remained quiet. Pete walked around the room, feeling for cold spots. He switched the camera back on and took a few aimless shots. He couldn’t see anything on the viewer but maybe something would show up on his PC.

Who am I kidding? There’s nothing here. I’m just a ghost hunter who can’t find any bloody ghosts.

The anticipation of the vigil had turned to boredom some time earlier, and Pete left the morning room again. Instead of turning left to the library, he turned right. The corridor crooked around a corner. Pete ducked under a cracked oak lintel into a narrow passage. Threadbare tapestries covered the panelled walls, and the pitted floorboards creaked beneath his boots.

Pete shivered. He guessed the passage led to the west wing, the original block of the house. Lady Maude told him the first Bettley Hall dated back to the Tudors, and the family harboured priests during Elizabeth I’s campaign to uncover Catholics. There was even a priest hole somewhere nearby.

Pete shoved his hands into his pockets. Puffs of his breath hung in the cold air. Pete wondered why Lady Maude never installed heating in this part of the castle. She could make a fortune renting it out as holiday accommodation.

The EMF meter crackled into life in his pocket. Pete pulled it out, feeling the cold nip at his fingers. The needle shot up the scale, buzzing around the upper level. Pete’s jaw dropped open.

A sharp knock made him jump. It came from the wall to his right. Pete swept the meter along the wall. The meter squealed when it reached a moth-eaten tapestry depicting a pregnant woman kneeling at an altar.

“Is there anybody there?”

“Succurro mihi.”

The disembodied voice came from behind the tapestry. Pete held out a trembling hand. He fumbled with the edge of the fabric. Plain wood panelling lay behind the wall hanging.

“Wh-wh-where are you?” called Pete.

“Hic, hac.”

An opaque figure passed through the wall into the corridor. It wore the robes of a priest. A large crucifix hung around its neck. It turned its bald head to face Pete. He looked into empty, staring eyes of the apparition, and fainted.

* * *

Fowlis Westerby pulled off his ridiculous Tudor priest disguise. He straightened his hat and moustache. The Cavalier looked down at the pitiable ghost hunter at his feet.

“I do apologise, old boy. You’re just so much easier to scare when you’re not expecting to see anything.”

The ghost strolled down the corridor towards the library. The séance would surely net him scores of Scare Points.

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The post The Priest Hole – Friday Flash appeared first on Icy Sedgwick's Cabinet of Curiosities.

Krampus knows if you’ve been naughty or nice

Nikolaus and Krampus in Austria, public domain

I don’t know about you, but I always thought there was something a bit ‘off’ about Santa Claus. He’ll leave you coal if you’ve been bad? How does he know? Is he keeping all the children of the world under constant surveillance? Wow, the admin must be a nightmare.

Thing is, Santa isn’t the only one watching. Many people will have only become aware of Krampus through the latest Hollywood horror film, but for those in Alpine regions, he’s far more well known. While the Feast of St. Nicholas takes place on December 6, the evening before is Krampusnacht Eve, when he comes to town.

His fur, horns and cloven hooves make him sound awfully similar to another notorious figure. You need to let go of any Christian associations though because mythology is full of horned creatures who wait in the dark. As a fan of all things monstrous and ghoulish, I decided now was the best time to talk about Christmas’ dark side!

St Nicholas and Krampus

Nikolaus and Krampus in Austria. Newspaper-illustration from 1896

St Nicholas, later to be rebranded as Santa Claus, first appears in the 11th century. Krampus only joins the fun in later centuries but it’s probable that he’s a pre-Christian figure. Smithsonian.com reckon he’s the son of the Norse god of the underworld. The church have tried to ban Krampus celebrations but he’s managed to cling on as the Anti Santa.

Legend has it that St Nicholas and Krampus do the rounds together. St Nicholas leaves candy for good children and twigs for the bad ones. Krampus is on hand to punish the extra naughty ones. He might beat them with branches or even haul them off to his lair! The legends do vary. Some versions carry bells, and others carry a sack to take away evil children. This latter story might be explained by raids on European coasts when locals were abducted into slavery.

Krampus in the 21st Century

A modern Krampus! By Horst A. Kandutsch via Wikimedia Commons

Krampus even appears on greeting cards, and has done since the nineteenth century. At Christmas markets Krampus becomes more fun than scary, mostly for the benefit of tourists. On Krampusnacht, folk in the Alpine regions celebrate by dressing their men in fur and masks. They rattle chains and bound through the streets as part of Krampuslauf (Krampus Run). In Lienz, town officials even educated newcomers from Syria and Afghanistan so they’d know what was going on. It’s a good move – if you didn’t know about Krampusnacht, it would be bewildering, if not terrifying, to experience!

Traditions like this have a long history. Also known as mummery, people have been dressing up as various figures and animals to celebrate different seasons for centuries. It’s a bit like a Christmas version of Halloween. While most people reckon it’s a light and cheerful time of year, it’s still the middle of winter in the northern hemisphere. In centuries past, people would be worried about having enough food to see them through the dark nights. It’s hardly surprising that a positive figure like St Nicholas would need a dark and threatening opposite.

Krampus finally made his way into popular culture in 2004 when he popped up in a Christmas special of The Venture Brothers. Since then, he’s also been in Supernatural, Grimm and American Dad. Now he finally has his own film, which I can’t wait to see! You can watch the trailer here.

Had you heard of Krampus before? Do you celebrate Krampusnacht? Let me know in the comments!

The post Krampus knows if you’ve been naughty or nice appeared first on Icy Sedgwick's Cabinet of Curiosities.