Shelli Armstrong's Blog, page 13
August 15, 2012
New Old Love
Rejected from Woman's World Magazine July 2012
“We’ve got to find Candace a man,” Aunt Patricia said to us as we ate our pulled pork BBQ. “That little girl needs a daddy.”
I followed the looks over to my two-year old, Josie. Pat was right, but finding time to date was difficult as a single mother. When my ex had taken off to “find a job”, it took time to realize he just wanted a life without a wife and daughter. Now, work and school, and most importantly: my daughter, took priority to dating.
Josie’s laughter floated over the noise of my family members and my heart squeezed. Despite the turmoil Luke had put me through, I wouldn’t trade any of it because of that that blonde darling. Scars or not, I looked around and felt nothing less than blessed and happy.
“What about that Johnson boy?” Aunt Lori asked. “He’s handsome.”
“Or there’s Mike Hanson’s son,” Patricia suggested.
“You ladies leave this up to me,” my sister, Andrea spoke up. She knew I hated this sort of talk. Of course, the gleam in her eye suggested that she wasn’t interjecting just to save me.
“Should I be nervous?” I asked.
“I ran into someone yesterday. I have it all set up.”
I don’t think I imagined the clucking that overcame my aunts.
“Who?” They all asked.
A few days later, Andrea was fussing over the dress I had chosen. “You’re a sexy woman,” she complained. “Can’t you show just a bit of skin?”
“I’m a mother.”
“A young mother.”
I looked at the bohemian dress in the mirror. Flowy sleeves, a modest neckline, knee-length… it didn’t show much, but I still felt pretty. And confident. “I like it,” I said, adjusting the belt. “Besides, if modesty isn’t important to him, then I don’t want to go out with him.”
She rolled her eyes as I was saved by the doorbell. Josie ran to the door and Andrea followed. “Candace!” Andrea called, even though she knew I was right behind her. She picked Josie up and opened the door wider.
My jaw dropped. “Mark.” I instantly recognized him.
Mark Burrows, my high school boyfriend, stood in the doorway. If Andrea hadn’t been holding my three-year old daughter in her arms, I wouldn’t have believed it wasn’t 1999. He hadn’t aged. My heart still raced. Instant familiarity flooded over me.
He smiled. “Hi,” he said. “Ready to go?”
Mark had been talking to Josie, giving me a few moments to pull myself together. I nodded, kissed Josie on the head, gave my sister a look, and walked to his car before laughing.
“Do you like it?” He asked, opening the door to his ’88 Delta Oldsmobile, a grin on his face. “My parents let me borrow it for our date.”
“It still runs?”
“Unbelievable, right? It’s always been a miracle car. Remember that time it got stolen?”
“Yes. I got pulled over for driving a stolen vehicle the day you got it back.”
“You were so mad.”
“I thought you had called the cops as a prank!”
The date was as easy as it had ever been. He had always been fun. Respectful. Kind. Everything that Luke wasn’t.
“Josie’s adorable,” Mark said, interjecting my thoughts. “Candace sends me pictures sometimes. And videos. I think she’s a little obsessed.”
“Just a bit,” I agreed.
My sister had recently moved from out-of-state, just to be closer to her only niece.
“She spoils her. But it is nice to have the extra help. She watches Josie so I can take classes at night.”
“Really? What are you studying?”
“Phlebotomy.”
“Drawing people’s blood, huh?”
“I thought I would be good at it.”
“I thought you got queasy around blood?”
“Not anymore. Becoming a mom has increased my tolerance of ‘gross’.”
“Excellent! That means I made the perfect decision for dinner,” Mark said as he made a final turn into K’s parking lot. Despite its run down appearance and questionable food, Mark and I had spent the majority of our Friday nights sharing milkshakes and crinkly fries in the ancient diner. We slipped in a booth and ordered long-remembered favorites.
“Mark…”
“You’re wondering why I agreed to this date?”
“Well, yes,” I admitted. “You haven’t spoken to me in years.”
“We were 17 when you ended our relationship,” he explained. “When you wanted me back, I was angry and didn’t think you deserved a second chance.”
“Maybe I still don’t. What’s changed?”
“Candace, I’m not angry anymore. We’ve grown up and had life experiences we both needed to have apart. But I find myself still missing you. I decided a while ago,” he took a breath and grabbed my hand. “There should always be second chances for your first love.”
“I think so too,” I said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
“We’ve got to find Candace a man,” Aunt Patricia said to us as we ate our pulled pork BBQ. “That little girl needs a daddy.”
I followed the looks over to my two-year old, Josie. Pat was right, but finding time to date was difficult as a single mother. When my ex had taken off to “find a job”, it took time to realize he just wanted a life without a wife and daughter. Now, work and school, and most importantly: my daughter, took priority to dating.
Josie’s laughter floated over the noise of my family members and my heart squeezed. Despite the turmoil Luke had put me through, I wouldn’t trade any of it because of that that blonde darling. Scars or not, I looked around and felt nothing less than blessed and happy.
“What about that Johnson boy?” Aunt Lori asked. “He’s handsome.”
“Or there’s Mike Hanson’s son,” Patricia suggested.
“You ladies leave this up to me,” my sister, Andrea spoke up. She knew I hated this sort of talk. Of course, the gleam in her eye suggested that she wasn’t interjecting just to save me.
“Should I be nervous?” I asked.
“I ran into someone yesterday. I have it all set up.”
I don’t think I imagined the clucking that overcame my aunts.
“Who?” They all asked.
A few days later, Andrea was fussing over the dress I had chosen. “You’re a sexy woman,” she complained. “Can’t you show just a bit of skin?”
“I’m a mother.”
“A young mother.”
I looked at the bohemian dress in the mirror. Flowy sleeves, a modest neckline, knee-length… it didn’t show much, but I still felt pretty. And confident. “I like it,” I said, adjusting the belt. “Besides, if modesty isn’t important to him, then I don’t want to go out with him.”
She rolled her eyes as I was saved by the doorbell. Josie ran to the door and Andrea followed. “Candace!” Andrea called, even though she knew I was right behind her. She picked Josie up and opened the door wider.
My jaw dropped. “Mark.” I instantly recognized him.
Mark Burrows, my high school boyfriend, stood in the doorway. If Andrea hadn’t been holding my three-year old daughter in her arms, I wouldn’t have believed it wasn’t 1999. He hadn’t aged. My heart still raced. Instant familiarity flooded over me.
He smiled. “Hi,” he said. “Ready to go?”
Mark had been talking to Josie, giving me a few moments to pull myself together. I nodded, kissed Josie on the head, gave my sister a look, and walked to his car before laughing.
“Do you like it?” He asked, opening the door to his ’88 Delta Oldsmobile, a grin on his face. “My parents let me borrow it for our date.”
“It still runs?”
“Unbelievable, right? It’s always been a miracle car. Remember that time it got stolen?”
“Yes. I got pulled over for driving a stolen vehicle the day you got it back.”
“You were so mad.”
“I thought you had called the cops as a prank!”
The date was as easy as it had ever been. He had always been fun. Respectful. Kind. Everything that Luke wasn’t.
“Josie’s adorable,” Mark said, interjecting my thoughts. “Candace sends me pictures sometimes. And videos. I think she’s a little obsessed.”
“Just a bit,” I agreed.
My sister had recently moved from out-of-state, just to be closer to her only niece.
“She spoils her. But it is nice to have the extra help. She watches Josie so I can take classes at night.”
“Really? What are you studying?”
“Phlebotomy.”
“Drawing people’s blood, huh?”
“I thought I would be good at it.”
“I thought you got queasy around blood?”
“Not anymore. Becoming a mom has increased my tolerance of ‘gross’.”
“Excellent! That means I made the perfect decision for dinner,” Mark said as he made a final turn into K’s parking lot. Despite its run down appearance and questionable food, Mark and I had spent the majority of our Friday nights sharing milkshakes and crinkly fries in the ancient diner. We slipped in a booth and ordered long-remembered favorites.
“Mark…”
“You’re wondering why I agreed to this date?”
“Well, yes,” I admitted. “You haven’t spoken to me in years.”
“We were 17 when you ended our relationship,” he explained. “When you wanted me back, I was angry and didn’t think you deserved a second chance.”
“Maybe I still don’t. What’s changed?”
“Candace, I’m not angry anymore. We’ve grown up and had life experiences we both needed to have apart. But I find myself still missing you. I decided a while ago,” he took a breath and grabbed my hand. “There should always be second chances for your first love.”
“I think so too,” I said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
August 9, 2012
Wicked
Once upon a time, I was a HORRIBLE daughter and didn't get my mom anything for Christmas. Turns out, most of my siblings did the same thing and in the end I was racked with guilt about not showing my mom how awesome she is and how much she deserves pretty much anything her giant heart desires; we didn't shower her with gifts like she should be...
Six months later, Mother's Day was coming up and my mom mentioned that Wicked was coming to Dayton and that she wanted to see it. I looked up the schedule, and saw that the show was also coming to Salt Lake City, and asked if she planned on being in town.
She was. So I bought tickets! Happy Christmas and Merry Mother's Day!
So my mom flew in to town to visit me...and mostly her parents...and we made a night of it. (Sorry, Amy, wish you could have been there, too.) Mom and I went to La Jolla Groves, which is a favorite of mine... or I should say, has the best salmon dish (and lemon cake) ever. And then we headed up to the Capitol Theatre and enjoyed the show.
I had anticipated not liking Wicked very much. I don't know why. It was a totally silly thought. I think it had something to do with the fact that it was SO hyped up when it first came out (duh, it really is that good) and I knew that it couldn't be a lot like the book that it is based off of, and they had done a reality show of sorts for it on MTV, and all of that just made me really nervous.
Aside from quite literally melting in the Capitol Theatre, we enjoyed the show a lot. A lot. A lot. The two female leads were spectacular; and as much as I am a fan of Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel, I think that I'm an even bigger fan of Alli Mauzey and Nicole Parker.
Alli was absolutely, incredibly brilliant at playing Glinda ("the 'ga' is silent). I've pulled up the videos on youtube.com, and they are all of Kristen, and really, I just loved Alli so much more. Sigh. Anyway, FANTASTIC.
It was really fun to spend the evening with my mom, doing something that she enjoys doing (and doesn't get to do often) and I admit, I'm totally on the Wicked bandwagon now. Although, I don't think you'll ever catch me with the soundtrack on my iPod.
July 30, 2012
Pearls, Spirits and Teaching
Yesterday, Elder Jay Jensen of the Quorum of the Seventy came to our ward and taught during the second and third hour of church. Simply put, it was great. At one point during the meeting, he asked those who had not been born and raised into the church to tell us what some of their responses were to the gospel when they heard the messages taught by the missionaries. One guy said that he nodded his head a lot, another mentioned that he'd wept, they all seemed to agree that there were some things that they heard that they thought, "I have always believed that!" or "That makes so much sense!"
I was born in the church, but during his lesson, I was nodding my head and saying, "Of course! That makes complete sense to me."
Elder Jensen started off the lesson with a parable given by Elder Packer at the dedication of the Conference Center in 2000.
We talked about how there are things in the church that can be the "box", things like: programs, meetings, activities, and I would say, even the people are the box. They aren't the most important thing, but the outside container that holds the precious truths and doctrines found within the church.
Our body is the container for our spirit. We talked about taking the time and creating a setting where we can receive revelation. And going back to the "that makes sense" feeling, or the, "I've always known that to be true", etc. we read Doctrine & Covenants 55:56
I was born in the church, but during his lesson, I was nodding my head and saying, "Of course! That makes complete sense to me."
Elder Jensen started off the lesson with a parable given by Elder Packer at the dedication of the Conference Center in 2000.
Do you think it possible for those of us who are called upon to speak to draw attention away from this wonderful building [the conference center] long enough to focus on the purpose for which it was built?
Perhaps it can be done with a parable and a poem.
The parable: A merchant man seeking precious jewels found at last the perfect pearl. He had the finest craftsman carve a superb jewel box and line it with blue velvet. He put his pearl of great price on display so others could share his treasure. He watched as people came to see it. Soon he turned away in sorrow. It was the box they admired, not the pearl.
I wish I had had this parable in my head a few months ago when I was talking to a friend about temples. He had attended the temple open house in Kansas City, MO. He said:The poem:
We are all blind, until we seeThat in the [universal] planNothing is worth the making ifIt does not make the man.Why build these [buildings] glorious,If man unbuilded goes?In vain we build the [world], unlessThe builder also grows. 1
I found it interesting that the Celestial room was considered the Holy of Holies... a man-made structure; a very ornate, man-made structure that obviously cost a lot of money...instead of like, for me, finding a sanctuary in nature...I told him that I agreed with the fact that you can feel close to God when you are out in nature. I think that's a given, and he was glad to hear it because he was (jokingly) thinking that all Mormons were materialistic. But if I had had this parable to reference, I could have explained that it isn't the container that matters; though, the containers do serve some importance, it is what goes on inside that is important. We build beautiful temples, and make them ornate and appealing to the landscape because of the precious things that go on inside the temple.
We talked about how there are things in the church that can be the "box", things like: programs, meetings, activities, and I would say, even the people are the box. They aren't the most important thing, but the outside container that holds the precious truths and doctrines found within the church.
Our body is the container for our spirit. We talked about taking the time and creating a setting where we can receive revelation. And going back to the "that makes sense" feeling, or the, "I've always known that to be true", etc. we read Doctrine & Covenants 55:56
The Lord speaks directly to our spirit. The Holy Ghost testifies directly to our spirit.
Satan, on the other hand, speaks directly to our body. Our body, the ornate container that houses our spirit.
Lastly, Elder Jensen drew out a paradigm that I thought was pretty cool. It comes from scriptures in Doctrine & Covenants 50.
I don't know if I made this paradigm exactly right (in fact, now that I'm looking at it, it must be wrong...), but the important element that I liked the best is on there, and that is, that when someone is called to preach the gospel, they should set themselves away and only slightly above those they are teaching, and not directly in the way of where the Spirit of Truth can teach and edify. Elder Jensen suggested that parents who stand in the direct line from God are "over-directing". I liked that because it made me think of the many conversations I've had with my mom lately about people we know who at one time were very "staunch" Mormons (or other religions) and they would dictate everything their children did in the most severe way possible. They took principals like modesty, or a commandment like keeping the Sabbath day holy, etc. and really made it impossible for the kids to learn for themselves. In the end, the parents get burned out, or the children turn rebellious.In the Church, we have to remember that there is a small amount of official doctrine, a few more principles, and countless commandments and applications that fall under the doctrine. I think that there are times when we are struggling with how much we need to do, and we get overwhelmed. But we need to stop and remind ourselves what is doctrine? Or, what is the pearl? vs. What is everything else...what is the box? I'm not saying that commandments aren't important things that we need to be obedient to, but I think that if we have the right perspective, then we can sit back and relax, make quiet time for the Holy Ghost to speak to our spirits, ignore the promptings to our bodies, and finally see the pearl that is sitting right before us.
July 26, 2012
July 25, 2012
Pigs; for Real?!
One of my favorite things about having Kelsie in town was the funny things she says. It's exhausting keeping her entertained, then keeping her awake when she's too tired to be in a good mood, then dealing with her random bursts of energy when she decides you are her personal jungle gym.
We were driving in the car and Kelsie mentioned that she was going to eat her arm, and I asked her if she was a cannibal.
"What's a cannibal?" She asked. (I love when she doesn't know a word, she'll ask what it means.)
I tried to explain to her that it meant eating a person the same way she eats cows, or chickens, or pigs.
"Pigs?!" She said, with a weirded-out look on her face. "For real?"
Later in the week, we went to IHOP (because, embarrassingly enough, Amy and I cannot stay away), and Kelsie was eating her bacon.
"I'm eating a pig!" She shouted, and took another bite.
We were driving in the car and Kelsie mentioned that she was going to eat her arm, and I asked her if she was a cannibal.
"What's a cannibal?" She asked. (I love when she doesn't know a word, she'll ask what it means.)
I tried to explain to her that it meant eating a person the same way she eats cows, or chickens, or pigs.
"Pigs?!" She said, with a weirded-out look on her face. "For real?"
Later in the week, we went to IHOP (because, embarrassingly enough, Amy and I cannot stay away), and Kelsie was eating her bacon.
"I'm eating a pig!" She shouted, and took another bite.
July 16, 2012
Dear Megan
If I blog about wanting all the pictures from our campout, will you put them on Dropbox.com? Just wondering...
The Non-Committal Boyfriend
Non-committal guys are not likely to change very quickly so there is no point in waiting around. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t be so hesitant.It's the advice that we give to any girlfriend who is stuck in a relationship that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. If he were going to marry her, he'd have proposed already, and so we tell her to give up and move on.
It's hard to give it up though. Will he commit if we were to give him just a little more time? Is there someone out there better, really? Maybe he is the love of her life, and she'll never find anyone else that she likes more? He's perfect in every other way, does it matter if he really won't commit? Should we just settle for what we have?
The problem with having a non-committal boyfriend is that you are truly in love with the guy, despite the fact that he doesn't want to seal the deal. And you're prepared to wait. But for how long?
But at what point do you walk away? How much warning does he deserve? What if he has already made one step towards commitment, but just hasn't closed the gap that you want him to close? How do you know if this new suitor is the right one to leave for?
What if it's your job that is the "non-committal boyfriend"?
July 13, 2012
Just Call Me Pandora
I feel a little like Pandora.... and now I've got to deal with the consequences.This wasn't supposed to happen.
July 8, 2012
Happy Birthday, America!
I spent the majority of the Fourth in bed. I woke up and was ready for the day by 7:30 a.m., headed to the Kiwanis Pancake breakfast with Megan and Eddie, and then went home and basically went back to sleep until much, much later.
After my marathon nap, I went over to the Nunez's house, and enjoyed some delicious food, company, and all-around happiness while we waited for the Stadium of Fire to start. We could hear the whole program, and so we jammed to the Beach Boys, got soaked by the untimely sprinklers, and enjoyed the terrific firework display.
Tonight, I ended Freedom week with a little visit with my dear friend, Colin. He hasn't made an appearance on this blog for a while, so I'm happy to post a few pictures:
We went up to City Creek in Salt Lake. He treated me to some Kneader's for dinner and then we walked over to Temple Square where we discovered that the Utah National Guard Orchestra was doing a Patriot Concert, and we decided at the last minute to go.I'm so glad that we did.
The program was really great, with songs composed from different wartimes, soldiers, along with classics from the "American songbook", movie scores, and a medley of all the songs from the Armed Forces. It was really cool to sing the national anthem in the Tabernacle, and to add our gratitude to the men and women who have served.I think it was the perfect way to finish the week.
I really do love this guy.
June 29, 2012
L&T
For the first few years at BYU, I lived at IHOP and on campus. Not literally. Technically I was paying rent at the University Villa, but I was rarely there, spending my waking hours at work or on campus. My sleeping hours were also, mostly, on campus...
Since IHOP provides their servers with one meal per shift, I subsisted largely on chicken salads, Country griddle pancakes, omelettes, and stuffed French toast. When I occasioned to stop by at home or had the (rare) day off, I ate apples and bagels.
And when I was on campus: I ate L&T.
L&T is a soup and salad place, but they also have delicious wraps. My favorites: the chicken taco on a tomato wrap, or the Oriental hold the water chestnuts, sub for grapes on a spinach wrap. Every time I ate there it was a horrible time trying to decide which amazing wrap to choose. I had a roommate who solved this easily by eating lunch with me, ordering the opposite of me, and then swapping halves.
Throughout the years, I remained true to L&T, and I rarely ate anywhere else on campus. Even since I've graduated, I find myself craving the delicious wraps, and if I happened to be on campus, buying supplies (or BYU brownies) for the office, or to meet up with a friend, I would take the opportunity to grab me a wrap.
Today, as I approached the well-known zig-zag line, I looked up to see that menu had changed.
I was in a panic. The Oriental was missing. Since it's hot outside, and the Oriental is filled with lettuce, mandarin oranges, cashews, and grapes, it seemed like the perfect choice. Now I was in a pickle. The chicken taco remains on the menu, but there are other things to try, like the Vietnamese Ba Mahn, or a Greek something or other... all interesting choices with intriguing dressings. But still missing the Oriental.
I ordered the Vietnamese Ba Mahn.
I want to be mad at L&T for changing such beloved favorites, but at the same time...This is the closest thing I have tasted to
I will definitely be getting this again. As sad as I am to see the Oriental retired, I am super happy for its replacement.
L&T was also known for giving out their amazing rolls with each plate lunch that you got. You had the choice between white or wheat (I always got the wheat) and they would put it in a to go container or on a plate. They've gotten rid of the rolls *sad face*, but, they've also gotten rid of the plates and containers, and opted for butcher-like paper that makes it much easier to transport the wrap. Also, in substitution for the rolls, they wrapped a pineapple spear up with my wrap....which was delicious and was a great replacement for the roll.
