Heather Huffman's Blog, page 33

Friday's Mark with John Seita

Today's guest blogger made my day the first time I met him. John Seita emailed me after reading Throwaway to share his story as an alumni of the foster care system. I was moved to hear John's story, and thrilled to hear what's being done at Western Michigan University to help children aging out of the foster care system. John is a shining example of using who we are to make the world better for others, and I couldn't wait to share his story with you. He has also kindly offered a paperback copy of his book God Is in the Kitchen and Other Everyday Miracles as a giveaway for today's Friday's Mark contest. ~ Heather

I recently had the pleasure to read the book Throwaway by Heather Huffman. I was motivated to read the book by its intriguing title and captivating cover. The truth be told, I have always been appalled with the term "throwaway" with respect to vulnerable young people and wondered what the title meant. I was once considered a "throwaway" since I had spent lots of time in foster care. Imagine my surprise when I discovered the main character in the book, Jessie, was also an alumni of the foster care system and was herself a "throwaway."

I quickly read the book since those who had survived foster care are rarely the main character in popular literature. I was struck to find that Jessie's character demonstrated many of the characteristics that former foster care kids often share:  Jessie displayed the unlikely combination of vulnerability, wariness, uncertainty, an unexpected guile and confidence and a plan for a better life. For most foster care alumni the vulnerability and wariness comes from years of abuse, neglect and abandonment, while the confidence and guile emerges from years of coping and strategic survival in often unsurvivable situations.

Young people who have "aged out" of in the foster care system are not really not on the radar screen of the general population, but most leave foster care without support, structure, resources or somewhere to turn when in trouble. Remember that young people who go into foster care typically end up there due to neglect, abuse and abandonment. In short since their journey into foster care is one of uncertainty, pain, and trauma, their journey out of foster care, no matter where they go, is often filled with more uncertainty, pain, and trauma.

I don't how Jessie became a prostitute, but her "career" is real, and supported by research. Those who have left foster care are likely to find themselves in dangerous situations. For example a study by a group called Nevada KIDS COUNT (2001) interviewed 100 youth who had aged out of foster car. Among their finding were that 55%  two-thirds of foster care alumni earned less than $10,000 annually, and 41% did not have enough money to cover basic living expenses. Nearly a quarter of them had supported themselves at some time by dealing drugs, and 11% had had sexual intercourse in exchange for money.

My own transition from foster care was punctuated with homelessness, financial difficulties that resulted in bankruptcy, loss of several jobs and a string of failed relationships. I was likely suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Shockingly, it turns out that a higher percentage of foster care alumni are diagnosed with PTSD than are war veterans.

While all of this appears dire and dark, there is hope as emerging good things are happening for this population. More and states are extending support for young people in the foster care system from the tender age of 18 to age 21. And more and more universities and colleges are providing programming on campus for former foster kids who attend school. My alma mater, Western Michigan University, has developed the Seita Scholars Program that provides full-tuition scholarships, a year-round campus home, and personal and academic support to students in what has become the largest and most comprehensive program of its kind in the nation. This year, 141 students are part of the program.

John Seita is the author of four books: God Is in the Kitchen and Other Everyday Miracles; In Whose Best Interest? (With Martin Mitchell and Christi Tobin); Growing up in the Care of Strangers (with Waln Brown) and Kids Who Outwit Adults (with Larry Brendtro. He on the faculty of the School of Social Work and is married with one child.

The Rules: There are three ways to enter to win a copy of God Is in the Kitchen and Other Everyday Miracles. You don't have to do all three, just pick one.

Tweet what your #FridaysMark is (be sure to include the hashtag #FridaysMark)
Comment on this blog post with your Friday's Mark (and I'll tweet it for you)
Comment on the link on my Facebook fanpage with your Friday's Mark (again, I'll tweet it for you)

What is a Friday's Mark? It's a simple statement about what you are doing to make the world a better place. Whether you save the whales, rescue strays, work with foster children, volunteer at the soup pantry or simply do your very best to always be kind to the cashier at the grocery store – how do you brighten the world around you? What kind of mark do you leave on the world? Share it with us for a chance to win!

Entries will be accepted through the end of the day on Friday, February 3, 2012.

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Homesick

Back view of the old house on the family farm, where my happiest childhood memories took place.

The publication schedule for my 2012 releases has been tentatively set, and I'm really excited to kick off 2012 with a book that's really special to me. Look for Tumbleweed to be released online by the end of February. I'm also in the process of planning a launch party in Springfield, Missouri in March!

About five years ago, when I first looked around and realized I'd been so busy raising kids and keeping food on the table that I'd stopped being me, I decided to fix that the only way I knew how, with words.

Tumbleweed was the first book I finished, though it needed a lot of work in it's infancy. Other novels came to me faster than I could write them, so I set that first book aside and tried to keep up with the torrent of words.

It's finally Tumbleweed's turn! The only problem: the time I spent editing and polishing this book made me terribly homesick. All of my books have something of me in them, but this one, more than any other, is filled with the stories that made my childhood vibrant and special. (It's also filled with the stories that made my adulthood stranger than fiction.)

Grandpa's dog, Dusty. Behind him are the fields where the deer grazed

Still, spending time in Hailey Brandt's world made me miss the old family farm, the fields where I'd sit with my grandpa to watch the deer graze, and even the two calves I turned into pets when Grandpa warned me not to.

I know I can't go back to those carefree days on the family farm – it was sold long ago, after my grandpa's passing. That doesn't stop me from spending more time than I should sifting through photos of land for sale down in the Ozarks, daydreaming about the day when I'll be able to buy a little piece of land to start a farm of my own.

Until then, I'll be thankful for the many blessings I have, and I'll try not to waste too many days being homesick.

This old barn reminds me of the one that used to stand on my family's farm in Douglas County, Missouri

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Friday's Mark with Sylvain Reynard

My guest blogger today made me late to my own birthday celebration. I picked up his novel, Gabriel's Inferno, out of curiosity and became so engrossed I couldn't put it down until I was finished. So it's entirely his fault I was late to meet my family and friends at the local wine house. Lucky for you, he has kindly offered up two free e-copies of Gabriel's Inferno as a giveaway today. My advice to anyone reading his novel for the first time: Set aside a day to completely immerse yourself in the words. ~ Heather

I always thought that giving to charity, especially local charities, was important. But it was always something I pursued privately. It wasn't the kind of thing I mentioned publicly.

When I published my first novel, Gabriel's Inferno, I began interacting with readers on Twitter and Facebook.  On occasion, I'd hear about various causes people were supporting, or I'd see tweets from different charities. Shortly thereafter, I read Throwaway by Heather Huffman. Suddenly, my eyes were opened to the global crisis of human trafficking – something I knew very little about.  I also learned that Heather donated a portion of her royalties to World Vision.

I began to see my platform as an author as an opportunity to raise awareness about various organizations that help those in need. My strategy wasn't complicated. I simply chose a few charities to support and I began following them on Twitter. I chose one of them each day to be in the "charity spotlight." It was a modest strategy, to be sure. But I'd recently begun reading Claire Diaz-Ortiz's book, "Twitter for Good:  Change the World One Tweet at a Time." The book persuaded me that social media had the ability to motivate and to mobilize people for good.

The Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation (NILMDTS) is one of the charities I support. Sandy and Cheryl Haggard formed this non-profit organization in 2005 after the loss of their son.  NILMDTS administers over seven thousand volunteer photographers across the U.S. and in twenty-five countries, who visit families in the hospital in order to conduct private portrait sessions. You can find out more here: http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/home/

My purpose in raising awareness about NILMDTS is twofold. First, I want to help them grow as an organization so that they can help more families who have lost a child.  Second, I want to raise awareness about their services so that a family in crisis can find an NILMDTS photographer when they need one.

Just before Christmas, a few readers contacted me, telling me that they were making donations to NILMDTS.   I was deeply moved by their generosity.

Shortly after Christmas, I was contacted by a reader whose stepdaughter had been helped by NILMDTS. Her story reminded me that the focus of charity is to help those in need.  Because of someone's donations, NILMDTS was there for her stepdaughter. The donations we make today will help another family in the future – possibly the family of a neighbour or friend, or someone we'll meet on Twitter.

It's easy to think, "I'm only one person. What can I do?"  But the purpose in raising awareness is to inspire others to become involved.  It begins with a tweet or a blog post, but when someone else is inspired to give and to raise awareness, it becomes much, much more.

I'd like to thank Heather for inviting me to visit her website. And I'd like to thank you for reading,

Sylvain Reynard

www.sylvainreynard.com

 

The Rules: There are three ways to enter to win a copy of Gabriel's Inferno. You don't have to do all three, just pick one.

Tweet what your #FridaysMark is (be sure to include the hashtag #FridaysMark)
Comment on this blog post with your Friday's Mark (and I'll tweet it for you)
Comment on the link on my Facebook fanpage with your Friday's Mark (again, I'll tweet it for you)

What is a Friday's Mark? It's a simple statement about what you are doing to make the world a better place. Whether you save the whales, rescue strays, work with foster children, volunteer at the soup pantry or simply do your very best to always be kind to the cashier at the grocery store – how do you brighten the world around you? What kind of mark do you leave on the world? Share it with us, and you could win a decadently delightful book for your efforts!

Entries will be accepted through the end of the day on Friday, January 27, 2012.

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Madness and Mayhem

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I came home from Atlanta to find mayhem – and I'm not talking about the guy from the car insurance commercials. If not, then I only thought I did, which is further evidence of how crazy things have been in the past week and a half.

I'm not slighting my husband to say madness abounded when I got here; there's only so much he can control. The boys tend to feel a certain amount of bachelor freedom when I'm gone, anyway. It didn't help that the day I got back, one of my sons came down with the flu. Another got it the next day. My husband fell the next. Then the oldest son. Then me. Sigh.

Just one of my boys' delightful inventions

Also on my first day back, my car broke down. Which, I guess, didn't matter since we all had the flu. I think the real joy of the week was the day the upstairs shower and the washing machine conspired to completely flood my basement. By that point, it was laugh or cry.

So I think it's completely understandable that yesterday I put the boys to work on projects to keep them busy most of the day while I attempted to reclaim my house. The used contents from the recycle bin, the craft box, and their toy chest to build robots.

My sweet princess, Kayla.

The added bonus to these treasures of ingenuity: this morning at 5 a.m., my sweet princess Kayla accidentally turned on the train powering one of the robots. She did a Scooby Doo scramble trying to escape it but couldn't seem to get away from the silly thing. It took me a minute to rescue her because my foggy brain couldn't quite process what was going on. By the time I did, the poor kitten was completely beside herself.

Sadly, it wasn't the strangest start to my day I've ever had. I think I'm just a little out of practice after my trip. Hello madness and mayhem; I missed you while I was away.

 

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Friday's Mark

I'm thrilled to welcome Brooke Shigley for the inaugural Friday's Mark guest post. I'd planned to get this up earlier so there would be plenty of time for the giveaway, but nothing has gone as planned this week!

I first met Brooke when she reached out to me after reading one of my novels. Over the past year, I've come to admire Brooke as a person, a mother, and as someone who uses her specific talents to make the world a better place.

 

Hello, all of you wonderful, giving individuals! My name is Brooke Shigley, and this is the story of how I "Leave My Mark" on the world. To tell you a little bit about myself, I am a professional Photographer, Graphic Artist and Marketing student. Growing up, things weren't exactly the norm for me. Motherhood at age 15 was a repercussion of the rocky decisions I made as an adolescent. My daughter, on the other hand, was a blessing and renewed inspiration in my life. She replaced the negative influences around me with hopes and goals for our future.

As a teen mom, finishing high school and going on to college became a mission. Each day, my daughter went to school with me and was in my arms at graduation. During my first year of college, she tagged along and was cared for at the campus daycare. Throughout the years, I taught her the importance of caring for others, to never bully and to prevent others from bullying. I also taught her the importance of giving, even when we were less fortunate half the time.

Today, I have two children who both are upstanding, compassionate individuals. And, because of my continued ambition, I have reached an amazing place in my life where I'm able to give back and make a difference. As a volunteer designer for Nebraska Children's Home Society I offer my design services to create invites, postcards, flyers and other pieces to raise awareness. Thousands of donors attend the events to show their support and to make their mark. A large portion of the proceeds go to the financing of NCHS for the assistance and training they provide.

Nebraska Children's Home Society is a nonprofit organization that exists for the sole purpose of raising funds to provide free, confidential support and education on the option of parenting or adoption. They provide foster care for children of all ages placed in their care by agencies, the court, or voluntarily by the child's parents. NCHS also provides an early childhood program teaching children appropriate academic, social and life skills.

I am so proud to be part of such an exceptional organization. Each day I give back, it gives more meaning to my life. This is how I "Leave My Mark", how about you?

To find out more about NCHS visit: http://www.nchs.org/about-us/ or to view my work, please visit me at: www.BrookeShigley.com or www.ShigleyPhotography.com.

 

Brooke has kindly offered up design services as a prize for our inaugural Friday's Mark contest. The winner can choose between a free logo design or web banner by Brooke Shigley, to be redeemed in the next six months. To enter the contest, tweet what your Friday's Mark is. For example, my entry would look like this:

I write books that raise awareness and funds to fight #humantrafficking. #FridaysMark

Using the #FridaysMark hashtag will enter you in the contest. I'll use random.org to select a winner from the entrants, and I'll notify you via a direct message on Twitter by Monday. Entries will be accepted through 11:59 p.m. (PT) 1/20/12.

Please help spread the word! (And go easy on me – this is my first crack at running a contest. )

Update: It occurred to me that some of you might not know what a Friday's Mark is. If not, check out last Friday's post to find out more!

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Atlanta Recap

I came home to St. Louis a day earlier than expected only to find two sick kiddos and a car that needed new brakes. It wasn't the welcome I'd expected, but we're getting back on an even keel. I think.

Because I had to hit the ground running in St. Louis, I don't have pictures to post yet from last week's events in Atlanta. Still, I want to take a moment to say just a quick thank you to each of the venues I visited while there.

The Move Something Crew of Atlanta couldn't have chosen a better spot to get to know new friends than the Carroll St Café in Cabbage Town. With decadently amazing tapas, great deals, an awesome vibe, and even better company, I thoroughly enjoyed both my first venture to Cabbage Town and dinner with a group of lovely and engaging people.

If I lived in Atlanta, I would spend a lot of time and money at Books for Less. This pretty, clean store had a pleasant atmosphere and an insanely nice staff. Factor in that the store supports an organization that rescues victims from trafficking, it definitely tops my list of all-time favorite bookstores.

Chocolate Perks provided upbeat music, cozy couches, and bistro tables with the most adorable vases decorated with puzzle pieces. The menu looked yummy, but I can only vouch for the coffee. Overall, it was a great vibe in darling downtown Duluth.

I know I keep mentioning atmosphere, but Neighbor's Pub excelled in this arena, too, so I have to bring it up again. I opted to hang out in an area of the restaurant with comfy couches to curl up on because by this point in the week, I was exhausted. Our server was exceptional, and my philly sandwich was insanely good. I'm looking forward to visiting this pub again when I return to Atlanta over the summer.

I owe a big thank you to my book manager, who also happens to be named Heather, for putting up with me all week – and for all the work she did putting the week together. Also, many thanks to all who came out to visit last week and to those simply stopped to talk to a couple of girls named Heather with a big ole' stack of books.

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Women Writers, Women Books

Many thanks to Women Writers, Women Books for having me as a guest blogger this week! If you have a second, please stop by to check out my post.

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Friday's Mark

[image error]I'm a little emotional today because my trip in Atlanta is winding down.  As much as look forward to seeing my boys again, I'm going to truly miss the friends I've made here over the past week. I'll write about trip highlights next week, but the absolute coolest thing from this trip has been talking to people from all walks of life and hearing how they have chosen to leave their mark on this world.

There was the hairdresser who spent Christmas day giving haircuts to the homeless, the math teacher who lights up from the inside out when he talks about the lesson plan that clicked with his students and made math fun, the photographer who journals his life with his daughter – I'm overwhelmed and humbled by the wide range of passion and talent I've encountered over the past several days.

I'm hooked. I want to hear more of your stories; I want to share more of your stories.

So, starting next Friday, I will turn my blog over to a different guest each week who will share how they have used their particular skill set to leave their mark on this world. For those of you still trying to figure out what your mark is, maybe hearing the stories of others will help you find your path.

Sometimes there will be a giveaway with the post; we'll always meet someone unique with their own special mark to leave. I hope you'll join in the conversation, too. Tell me on Facebook and Twitter what your Friday's Mark is; maybe I'll even ask you to write a post on my blog to share with the world. Just be sure to use the #FridaysMark hashtag on Twitter so I see your post.

I look forward to hearing how you've chosen to Leave Your Mark!

 

 

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My New Hero

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Elizabeth Gaskell: 1832 miniature by William John Thomson

I stumbled across BBC's North and South on Netflix. I was instantly hooked, and not just because Richard Armitage is a cutie. There was a subtle beauty to the movie. It built slowly, and though I found myself at times quite frustrated with the characters' inability to communicate, I was entranced. I couldn't look away. By the time it was finished, I was completely and totally in love with it.

I also re-watched the last 10 minutes of the movie three times. I felt I'd earned it after all that build up.

I so loved the movie, it prompted me to download the complete works of the novel's author, Elizabeth Gaskell. I even felt compelled to learn all I could about her. What I found quite possibly made her my new hero.

Ms. Gaskell lived from 1810-1865 and was a Victorian-era writer. She suffered loss at an early age but remained gregarious throughout life, something I admire in a person. She was friends with greats such as Charlotte Bronte and Harriet Beecher Stowe. And the thing that most resonates with me: she used her novels to raise awareness for social justice issues. She also donated to charitable organizations, and used the knowledge she gained through that work to write even more novels.

She's an incredible example of someone who used their particular gift to leave an indelible mark on this world. Seeing the lasting impression she's had is encouraging – and it inspires me to keep trying to leave my mark the best I know how.

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Georgia on my Mind

Sometimes, I put off writing a post because I don't know where to start.  I mean, one year ago I felt a little silly even saying out loud that I wanted to use romantic suspense books to fight human trafficking. After a whirlwind of a year, I find myself headed for Atlanta, backed by my dream-publisher, to spend a week raising awareness and funds to fight slavery.

For once in my life, I'm not sure what words to write. Nothing seems to capture how incredible this is or how excited I am about next week's line-up as the Leave your Mark tour hits the road with five different graffiti parties in the Atlanta area. If you haven't stopped by my new event calendar, you should check it out. (And if you'd like to sponsor graffiti party in your area, contact me!)

The event venues differ quite a bit – from pubs to coffee shops, bookstores to painting classes. No matter where they're held, it's more about having conversations than anything else. I'll also have books for sale, and I'll be donating 25% of the proceeds from this week's book sales to Project Liberty, a task force dedicated to recovering trafficking victims and reuniting them with families.

If you're in the Atlanta area (or road trip distance!), I hope you'll join me at one of the events below. If not, you can still Leave your Mark by contributing to or spreading the word about the online campaign!

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